Can You Dig It? Secret Life of Boys

Hello?

SCREAMING

You scared the gum drops out of me.

Well done!

So, are you ready for the Midnight Full Fright Film Club?

I brought a peppermint stick.

No film tonight, check this out.

I think it's a map. I found it under the garden.

Once you get past the topsoil, there's loads of fun stuff.

Cool, open it.

It looks like it's blank.

Oh, no, hang on. There's a date here.

-BOTH:

-Whoa...

'Ginger? Look who's out of jail.'

Dad, welcome back!

It's good to see you.

'It's so good to see you, too.'

How do you feel?

'Never been better, feel like a new man.'

Well, you look great.

I wish I was there to meet you when you got home.

'Don't even think twice about it.

'Hey, I see you got my gift.'

This new camera is aces, I love it.

'I can't wait to see all the amazing things

'you're going to film with it.'

I already know the perfect thing to use it for,

Penny and Heath are coming over to a music video for our air band.

-SHE GASPS

-Oh, and check this out -

remember my friend Grace from back home?

She sent me this 'roo stuffy. Her mum makes them.

'She's a giant.

'You'll be able to see the real thing in a month.

'Speaking of, I better start getting this place ready for you.

'The house is empty for a year and I think a wombat might have moved in.'

Can we keep it?

-'No.'

-Fair enough.

-I'll see you in a month.

-'See you.'

Oh, cool. What's that?

-Ethan?

-What?

We need to keep a tight circle. Just you and me, agreed?

Fine, agreed.

Now, Matt once told me that old maps use invisible ink

to hide their treasure. We need to heat it up.

-HE SIGHS

-You know what, Ethan?

Having had a sleep on it,

I'm not totally convinced this is a map at all.

I think it's just an old piece of parchment.

-Look, it's working!

-It's a map, I knew it.

Look...that must be our house.

And this X is the treasure.

Let's go.

Grace, thank you so much for the 'roo.

'Ginger, that you?

'Your voice is weird.'

Of course it is.

I miss my ninjas.

'We miss you too. Hey, did you press the 'roo's paw?

'Press the paw.'

SONG: Advance Australia Fair

' 'Roo prize.'

Look at all the stuff!

Vegemite, seashells, and an Aussie rules football.

'I can't get over your voice. You sound so...

-'British-y.'

-No, I don't.

'Say "no", again.'

No.

-GRACE LAUGHS

-'Hilarious.

'Anyway, I've got to get to dinner, bye Britty Bertha.'

-Britty Bertha?

-Ginger, what song do you want to do for the video?

If we don't do Justin Bieber,

I'll quit and never talk to either of you again.

All right, eager Belieber.

I've got a bonza idea -

let's do a u-ey on the air band and rip into the 'roo.

We'll rage till we chunder.

I have just cleaned the kitchen.

Come back when you've shed a layer of dirt.

Then all I have to do are the bedrooms, the bathroom,

-and nine loads of laundry.

-Would love to help, but...

going through clearing. Got to get into uni.

I'm not sure if you remember, but I didn't get my grades for uni,

so I'm sort of playing catch up with all of it.

I'm going through clearing,

which means that I have to apply to a bunch more unis

to see if any of them have room for me. Busy, busy.

What? You're just playing Sweet Feet.

Are you sure you want to go to uni?

What do you mean? Of course I do.

If you say so, but you spend a lot of time not trying to get into uni.

Why would you say that?

Don't you always say to be truthful?

Yeah, well...

Get out you're filthy.

Mum, I've got all the dishes from my room.

Oh, come on!

Don't worry, Mum, I can help. I'm a great helper,

like on our favourite show.

Mrs Hughes, I regret to inform you that we've run out

of the olive loaf.

Dispatch Beatrice at once.

It's all right, Chris, just leave them there.

I'll be right back for them. After I've taken these out.

CLANG!

You hit something. Treasure!

No, no, your mum! Hide.

SHE SCREAMS

Corey, are you all right?

Danger toxic waste?

Boring.

Why is there a hole here?

We...

We have a mole.

It was actually a shrew. It had small hands, typical for a shrew.

-You saw it?

-We did and it was really scary.

Come on, we need to get you in, away from this garden.

Biscuits for breakfast, this rocks.

I told you Australia was awesome.

Now, try this Vegemite. I used to eat loads of it.

Tastes like throw up from an old shoe.

No, it's great.

Mm!

-You OK, Mum?

-No, it hurts.

I fell in a shrew hole.

# I fell in a shrew hole I fell in a shrew hole. #

Now, some ice and some rest and you'll be fine.

Don't move for the rest of the day.

Oh, and definitely don't go back outside.

But, I had so much to do today.

Maybe we can do some things for you.

I need the laundry and the dishes done.

Or you can do it tomorrow, no rush.

Careful, careful, careful... Ow!

OK, love, Ethan and I are going to go and see

if we can find that shrew.

Yes, that is what we'll be doing.

Dad, can I have 15 quid?

Sorry, mate, the well is dry.

When you got four kids to bring up, money is tight.

-Mum?

-Sorry, but "Mum, can I have?" is in too much pain.

She is playing Sweet Feet until her swollen feet heal.

Hey, Robbie, play Aussie rules with us.

Maybe we should go quite quickly.

Sorry!

Maybe I can help now, Mum?

Stupid Ethan. I wouldn't be working so hard

if I didn't want to go to uni.

All right, Matt. Enough Sweet Feet.

Hey, we're playing Aussie Rules. Are you in?

I could use a break. Sure.

OK. So the aim is to score as many points as you can

by kicking the ball between these posts.

If you get it in the middle, it's six points.

The outer ones are one point.

Do we just throw it?

I just said you have to kick it.

Right, got it. Yeah. Let's play.

Let's play.

No, you can't pass.

You have to punch or kick the ball. No throwing.

Ow!

Got it.

Pick it up, guys. Be serious.

That's not how you play.

Guys!

What are you two up to?

We found a map last night,

and we think it might actually lead to something.

Tight circle, remember.

Ethan... Be kind.

So, there was this pirate.

A retired pirate called Scraggly John,

who lived around here about 200 years ago.

Now there's a chance that his treasure

might be right underneath our feet.

Er, a quick question...

No, you can't have any.

OK.

-Oi, Robbie!

-Yeah.

-I need your help.

-What's up?

Dad and Ethan found a treasure map.

Really? I knew it was something cool in there.

We need to get in on this.

Hold up. They think it's real, but I know for a fact it's not.

Up for some fun?

Look, don't you think this is cruel,

making fake pirate treasure for them to find.

Ethan deserved it for what he said about me not wanting to go to uni.

Yeah, but do you really want to go?

You're spending an awful lot of time making fake pirate booty.

Whose side are you on?

If Ethan dissed you, you'd be doing way worse.

I feel bad about Dad, though.

Sadly, he's collateral damage.

He's co-dad-eral dad-age.

-Get it?

-No.

I'm not Britty Bertha.

You're Britty Bertha. I'm Aussie Ashley.

You OK, Ginger? You're muttering to yourself.

I'm not muttering.

MUTTERING: You're not muttering, Ginger.

You've been weird ever since you talked to your friend in Australia.

-SHE GASPS

-Did she hurt you?

No.

A little. She just said the truth.

No-one tells my Gingey the truth.

She just thinks I've changed.

Being here for this long has made me forget who I am.

I'm Aussie. Why am I trying to be something I'm not?

I think you're cool the way you are.

But if you really want to get your Aussieness back...

..we can help.

Whoa.

OK. I'll distract them,

you get the trunk over to the spot so we can bury it.

Hey, guys. Did you find the treasure?

No. We're still trying to work out this map.

-Is this a road?

-Let me see.

Is it a...

-..river?

-There are no rivers around here.

No, not now, but maybe 200 years ago.

Hey! I might have some old maps inside.

Old man alert!

-Use your phone.

-Right. Yeah. Good idea.

I'll do that.

You've typed in "Werewolf Builders."

My bad. Check it out.

'I'll be by to pull the concrete Tuesday week,

'as long as there's a full moon.'

-HOWLING

-We're too busy for that. Give it.

Ah! Butterfingers. Here, let me help you find it.

I'm pretty sure it was in this shrub somewhere.

-Er, you guys got it, right? OK. See you.

-Werewolf Builders.

Fact - every Australian can throw a boomerang.

-Not a fact.

-Fact. No-one in Britain can do it.

Again, completely made up.

So, if you can throw this boomerang, that means you're super Aussie.

You guys, this won't prove anything.

I've been tossing boomers since I was in kindie.

It's all in the elbow.

-Just a bit off.

-No biggie.

-You've got this.

-You're so Aussie.

-VOICEOVER:

-Here comes Ginger, ready for the Olympic boomer toss.

There it goes...

and it's rubbish.

Ginger, it's fine.

It's cool being a Brit.

I'm a Brit, Heath's a Brit.

I don't want to be a Brit. I'm Aussie.

You're just changing.

OMD.

I've been so stupid.

I totally see it now.

You wanted me to fail.

You love that I'm losing my Aussieness.

We're your friends.

Even though you haven't acted like it all day.

Yeah, what happened to our air band video?

All we've done all day is stupid Aussie things.

Aussie things aren't stupid.

Who plays football like that?

They should change the name from Aussie Rules to crazy ball.

You know what? We're done here.

-Goodbye forever.

-Goodbye forever.

I don't need you, or your help.

Whoa!

Ah! My ankle.

Help!

Chris, are you near?

We'll just be down here. You two can keep each other company.

Another one. That's a real shrew problem we've got.

It is like shrew-mageddon out there.

I'm going to go and fill in those shrew holes.

Did you call, ma'am? Would you like some tea?

Oh, you are the best.

Love some, thanks.

You seem a bit off.

Want to talk?

I'm fine. No.

No. No.

No!

Well, you seem fine.

Look what I just tripped over.

Two hooks. Scraggly John had two hooks.

-Where were they?

-Be very specific.

Over by the greenhouse.

-Why?

-Come on.

-Move, move, move.

I hit something.

It's a chest.

-We did it.

-Treasure....chest!

How much do you reckon it is?

I've got no idea but we're going to be eating steak for weeks.

I'm going to get a pet jaguar.

We're rich.

Mission accomplished. What to do now?

Maybe you could check on the university...

Who wants a sandwich? Mm, sandwiches.

All right, Ginger. What's wrong?

Tell me. Or I'll have to resort to tickling.

I'm not in the mood, Aunt Cor.

Oh, well, that's unfortunate.

So, what's wrong?

Well, I'm just scared to go home.

I was talking to my friend and she barely understood

my stupid Brit accent.

When I go back home, none of my friends will talk to me.

You're changing.

We all change. Our voices, our clothes, our hair.

Imagine how boring the world would be

if we all wore brown dungarees and pigtails and...

ROBOTIC VOICE: ..talked like this.

-It would be pretty ridiculous.

-Yeah.

And you're not losing your Aussieness.

Most Aussies I know are proud, confident, fun people,

all of which you are.

And they're pretty loud.

I'd forgotten that. They're usually pretty loud.

Thanks, Aunt Cor. I feel better.

Now I feel worse again.

I was so mean to Penny and Heath.

I'm losing my Aussie friends and I'm losing my Brit friends.

Help me.

Well, all right, then, but only because my mobile's dead.

They fell for it.

Guys, you are not going to believe this.

We found Scraggly John's pirate treasure.

What? No way!

I sent a picture of these coins to a historian friend of mine and...

We're rich.

And not a moment too soon.

Dad, here's the thing.

Wait, not a moment too soon.

Yeah. Look.

Don't tell Mum, but remember earlier,

when I said that the well was dry?

I meant it. I've lost all our savings.

If it weren't for the treasure, we'd lose our house in a week.

None that matters any more because we're rich.

-BOTH:

-# Ole! Ole! Ole! #

I make delicious tea.

I make it outside.

I also use real leaves instead of tea leaves.

They're prettier, so they taste better.

Mum loves it.

Thank you.

Thanks for coming back.

I was trying to figure out the best way to apologise.

I couldn't find the right song to lip-sync to, so, I wrote my own.

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

OUT-OF-TUNE SINGING:

What about the rest of the song?

-I think we should...

-Stick to lip-syncing.

How does the song end?

BOTH: # Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! #

Stop. How could you lose our money?

What does it matter? We found pirate treasure.

Actual pirate treasure, that is real.

-Arrr!

-Arrr!

-Arrr!

-Arrr!

-Come on.

-Let's go and tell Mum the good news!

Dad. No. Bad idea.

Dad.

Corey, you are not going to believe this.

There's treasure in the garden.

Ethan and I found a map and it led us straight to it.

Are you serious?

Mum, wait.

The map isn't real.

I made it for a project in Year 8 and I buried it years ago.

Then, when Ethan found it, I was going to tell him,

but he was being a brat, so we made fake treasure for them to find.

We painted some arcade tokens.

You did what? How could you?

We didn't know dad had lost all our savings,

otherwise you wouldn't have done such an awful prank.

I don't want to lose the house. I've got £800 saved up you can have.

I've got 27 quid.

Well, I'll be a millionaire when I join a pro-skating tour.

Care to explain, Bob.

Oh, happily.

It's paint. The gold.

It's fake.

-Payback.

-Most definitely.

You see, when Ethan and I found out that Matt and Robbie had fooled us,

we thought we'd teach them a lesson by telling them that we were broke.

BOTH: # Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! #

-Come on.

-# Ole! Ole! #

So, here's what I've learned.

There is no shrew.

The hole I fell into was likely to have been dug by two ninnies,

who were digging holes in my garden

that another two ninnies had tricked them into believing was real.

-Have I got it so far?

-Yeah.

We probably should have thought this through before we came in here.

It's time that each of you took a long, hard look at yourselves

in the mirror and thought about your actions.

When did everyone in this house become so dishonest?

Mum, your foot's better.

Er, no, it isn't.

-You're walking.

-You're faking.

-You're a faker.

-What was that about dishonesty?

I deserved a rest!

I don't have to explain myself to any of you.

In fact, watch what I can do.

Now, all of you outside to fix my garden.

-But, Mum...

-No, now.

Not you, Chris. You can stay.

You're my favourite.

-More tea, Mum?

-Oh, yes.

But I think I'll make it myself this time.

Not chocolate.

So, thankfully, Penny and Heath are my friends again.

Yayzies.

I'm not sure about my Aussie friends though.

Aunt Cor made me feel better,

but I'm still afraid my ninjas won't like me when I get back.

That's the thing about fears, I guess.

Eventually, you have to face them.

Applications closed?

Stupid Ethan. He was right.

That's why I have a plan.

I'm going to get my friends to like me again before I go back.

See, friendship isn't about what you get, it's about what you give.

And I have the perfect thing to give.

Not cool, Rooey.