Ginger's Arrow Secret Life of Boys

-Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!

-Oi, oi, oi!

-Ausfest was Aus-mazing.

What's Ausfest?

Well, it's a festival where everything there's Australian.

I mean, even the people.

Well, actually, the only Aussie people were me

and this other girl, Tabitha.

But enough about that rando, I got this authentic Australian melodica.

I keep telling you, that's not Australian!

I composed a love song for my Ethan.

SMASHING

Worry not, I'll show myself out and inform my parents of the damages.

Oh, forget it, Penny, it's just an old lamp.

Corey made that lamp in pottery class.

Now, I love Corey, but I hate that lamp.

I mean, it's absolutely hideous,

and I've been trying to get rid of it for ages without her knowing.

But no matter what I do, it keeps coming back.

Anyway, what did you boys get up to?

Well, we played a bit of football, and I don't want to brag,

but the old man has still got the moves.

Oh!

Time-out, time-out.

Time-out!

It looks like someone needs Corey's Boot Camp.

Healthy eating, exercise.

Oh, I don't want to.

Oh, fine, but I won't enjoy it.

Isn't Tabitha the coolest?

I mean, she's 18, she won a burping contest.

And if I hang out with her, I'll get my Aussie back before I go home.

-She's coming round later.

-Oh, it's going to be so much fun(!)

An Aussie mate here, man, dream come true.

HE SIGHS

At least your dreams are coming true.

Matt's been such a downer lately.

I'm getting a bit worried.

# Not going to uni

# Da-na-na-na-na

# Or America too

# Da-na-na-na-na

# My dad left me here

# Da-na-na-na-na...

# In a house with no ham Da-na-na-na-na. #

They were carrying on like pork chops,

so I said, "I hope your chooks turn into emus..."

-BOTH:

-And kick your dunny door down!

I'm laughing, too, because I

understood everything you both said.

Anyway...

'When Ginger told me about the Aussiefest, I had to go.'

It's a good thing I went, too,

otherwise that ancient Aussie dingo would have stolen my best friend.

It's not a fair fight, because Tabitha and Gingie

are both Australian.

Anyway, you two are great but I can never hang out with you again,

that is until you're 18. It's just weird.

But I got you this.

You got Vegemite? I suppose I can stay for a taste.

I'll never un-see that.

OK, so we need extension cords, surge protectors...

Hi, Ethan! Back off, he's mine.

Guys, go away, I've guests over!

Sorry, we're trying to figure out how to get electricity

into the tree house. It'll probably never work, though.

Hi.

I'm Tabitha.

How do you do? I'm Matt.

Come on! We've got the stuff, let's go!

Gosh, Matt's ridgy-didge, and here I am looking like a ratbag.

So embarrassing! I should have left earlier.

Or not come at all.

Tabitha, wait! I was just talking to Matt,

and he's totally keen on you.

He said you should come back tomorrow, say around four o'clock.

Really?

Tomorrow's good, it'll give me plenty of time to spruce up.

See you then.

I probably should have asked Matt before I told Tabitha that he liked

her, but Matt's been so down lately, maybe Tabitha can cheer him up.

Matt, can I speak to you?

THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER

Matt, someone thinks you're cute!

-Tell Mum "thanks".

-No, Tabitha.

Well, don't you think she's cute? I think you should ask her out.

-What's wrong with him?

-I don't know, but I hope it's not contagious.

What do you say? Will you ask Tabitha out, please?

-No.

-Look, he hasn't got time.

He needs to finish his project on the tree house.

Come on, Matt, please!

-Matt! Matt, no.

-Come on!

-Don't risk it.

-Please! You know you want to.

Sorry, Ginger, I can't do it.

Sorry, Matt, wrong answer, you have to go out with Tabitha.

-Not going to happen.

-Do it!

-No!

-Do it!

-No!

-Do it!

-No!

-Do it!

-No.

Do it!

-No!

-Do it!

No!

-HORN BLARES

-Never!

I'll get Matt to go out with Tabitha.

It's for his own good anyway.

(Ask Tabitha out!)

-(Ask Tabitha out!)

-Agh!

"Ask Tatha out."

OK, boys, so I've figured out how to get electricity to our tree house.

Chris.

Guys, I've done the maths, and there's a 50-50 chance

that the kite string will break and Chris will

-fall 100 metres onto his head.

-But I like my head!

You'll be fine, Chris. This'll work, trust me.

Even if it does hold, the lightning will cook him

-like one of Mum's roasts.

-I don't want to be delicious!

Agggh!

Hey, guys, just looking for something.

Matt doesn't want to date your friend, and neither do I.

Tell Penny to stop tunnelling under the house.

She's not tunnelling under the house,

and I wasn't even talking to you.

Matt, all summer you've said that you want to be seen as an adult.

Having a girlfriend is pretty grown-up.

Sorry, Ginger, what were you saying about being a grown-up?

Bob!

Are you running again? That's the fifth time today.

Yeah. I still don't like it, but I'm doing it for you and the boys.

-I love you.

-I love you, too!

She's coming! Code Mum! Code Mum!

HE WHISTLES

Bob!

I forgot! Steamed fish all right for dinner?

Mmm, sounds healthy!

Thanks for the help, boys.

-I love you.

-That better be the ribs talking.

Penny, can I ask you something?

Are you digging a tunnel under the house?

What?! No.

Ginger, can we talk? Alone.

Oh, it's fine, I have to do more digging, anyway.

Into ice cream.

The real reason I said no is because, honestly, I'm nervous.

With uni and my trip to America going pear-shaped,

I just don't want to be disappointed again.

I mean, what would she see in me? She's way out of my league.

Trust me, she likes you!

DOORBELL RINGS

And she's here!

Wow, she looks different.

What's she doing here?

Well, I kind of told her you were into her

before I knew if you were into her.

Wow, I guess she does like me.

# I was wondering if she likes me now I know

# I was wondering if she likes me now I know. #

Banjo solo!

OK, I'll go out with her, but when it comes to me liking a girl,

Mum is super protective.

So what do we do?

We have to convince her that I can make my own decisions.

Go tell Mum I'm a big boy now.

Me?!

-Aunt Cor.

-Yeah?

-I need to talk to you about Matt.

He's keen on a girl I know.

Well, as long as it's not Tabitha.

Oh, he wants to date Tabitha, the burper?

Well, what if she hurts him?

I don't know if you know this, but Matt cries very easily.

Oh, come on, Matt's had a really rough summer -

with his dad and uni...

All right, but only if I get to chaperone their first five dates.

-No, wait, nine dates.

-Deal.

Who fixed you?

How did you get here?

Phew, I thought you were Mum.

All this fake working out makes me hungry.

-We need your help.

-Matt bailed on our tree house project.

Ever since he started dating Tabitha.

-I don't know, boys.

-You owe us. We helped you fool Mum.

It's payback time.

If you're going to use logic, fine, show me what you've got.

What, bring electricity to the tree house?

This could revolutionise tree houses!

There's just one problem... everything.

I really like the hamster wheel, though, so I tell you what,

get me a burger to go with these chips,

because I'm going to need all the brain food I can get.

Wow. Matt's a real hunk, isn't he?

Man, did you see how classy Tabitha looked?

She's amazing. Time for me to get posh.

Anyway, time for me to get posh.

After only a couple of dates, Matt and Tabitha, or Tabs for short,

are officially boyfriend and girlfriend,

and it's all thanks to me.

-Knock much?

-Keep your friend away from Matt.

He's happy. You saw how sad he was before.

Yeah, we did, and it was hilarious.

Then you had to ruin it by setting him up with Tabitha.

It's bad enough he bailed on our tree house project,

but now he's not even Matt any more.

Don't believe us? See for yourself.

CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS

Well, it's different, but it's not bad.

Wait, there's more.

CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS

That's not weird. I read drinking tea with your pinkie up

-makes it better.

-Really?! Chris, you're up.

Matt, I separated the gross jellybeans

with the yummy ones, which are yum.

Please can I have my Matthew medal now?

Sorry, don't do Matthew medals any more,

and you should throw those away, sugar's not good for you.

-Your brother's right, Christophe.

-Christophe?!

Guys, the only strange thing going on

is me hanging out with you instead of my new Aussie friend,

who I haven't seen in a week. Later, traitors.

Ah! Hey, Matt. Hey, Tabs.

Check it out - burp off.

SHE BURPS

Ginger, excuse yourself!

Come on, Matt, you're no stranger to gas attacks.

That's not very ladylike, Ginger.

CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS

Oh, my gosh, what have I done?

SHE BURPS

Boys! Come out!

It's finished.

-Cool!

-Awesome!

-What is it?

It's a hamster wheel.

It's brilliant, boys.

This is going to be the perfect power source

for your tree house. The only question is,

who is going to jump in and start running?

-You are.

-I don't think so.

Then we'll tell Mum that you haven't been exercising or eating properly.

Oh, look, boys, I enjoy a good blackmailing

as much as the next bloke, but you need evidence,

and you have none.

Ahem!

Oh! This was our secret!

I even let you have a bite!

Look, Matt bailed on you,

if anyone should be powering this thing, it's him.

Matt has a girlfriend. He's dead to us now.

We'll be in the tree house. Make sure you stretch.

Don't want you cramping while I'm making smoothies.

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

The boys were right, Tabitha's acting weird,

and it's making Matt act weird. What's on your face?

Tabitha mentioned that she liked beards, so boom, I grew one!

-Pretty sick, right?

-Yeah, very.

'He looks like a werewolf that got stuck transforming.'

If there's any hope of fixing Matt, I have to break them up.

I won't get to hang out with Tabitha and get my Aussieness back,

and I'll have to listen to more Matty blues,

but it's the right thing to do.

Can I just say how much fun I have whenever I come to this house?

Now, how do we take out Tabitha?

Oi! Get back on that wheel!

I need to use the loo.

That's what the bucket's for.

You monsters! The lot of you!

Anyway, our mission is to hit Matt with every prank

in the book until he retaliates.

When Tabitha sees that a sophisticated Matt is really

a childish prankster, she'll dump him.

Hot sauce - why?!

Mouthwash - why?!

Matthew, my pet, open the door.

I'm trying, my dearest, but some scamps have put gum

-on the door handle.

-They gummed this side, too!

THEY CHEER

It won't be long now until Matt comes in to prank us back,

and reveal his true self.

I'm thinking skunk pillows.

Or shaved eyebrows.

-BOTH:

-Maybe both!

I hear someone coming. Here it comes.

Treason, treason, treason!

I can't even... Is this a nightmare?

Oh, is this the secret hideout?! Someone describe it to me.

You brought your girlfriend to the secret room?

-You brought yours.

-She's not my girlfriend.

-Ouch.

-I'm a not be able to see, but I can still feel, Ethan!

Why are you not pranking us back?

Prank law dictates that one must retaliate

within an hour of being pranked.

You're the one who wrote the law, man!

I don't care about prank law any more.

-I just care about Tabitha.

-Aww!

It's too late. We've lost him forever.

The Matt we once knew has been replaced

by a half-bearded, pinkie-fingered, art-loving version of himself.

And it's all my fault.

I have to get him out of that fake relationship somehow.

Got to go!

Ginger, your friend Grace said thanks for the gift.

-Did you send something?

-No.

It's nothing.

Listen, I've been thinking about how to break up Matt and Tabitha,

and we've been going about it all wrong.

Matt wants something all boyfriends want.

A giant stink beetle that shoots lasers from its eyes!

What? No.

Holding your beloved's hand?

No!

They want to date someone real.

-So I was kind of right?

-Yes, fine.

The point is that's not the real Tabitha.

The real Tabitha won a burping contest,

and ate a jar of Vegemite in five seconds.

We shouldn't be pranking Matt back to reality,

we should be pranking Tabitha back to reality.

So when Matt sees the real Tabitha, he'll dump her.

Exactly. And I have just the prank for the job.

A blow out? Get in!

-This cake stinks!

-It smells fine.

We used Vegemite for the frosting, the filling and the cake.

Tabitha won't be able to resist it.

And then, when she cuts into it, boom!

You can't even see the balloon,

-but are you sure you didn't over-pump it?

-No, not at all.

-Mwa-ha-ha!

-Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

-BOTH:

-No, not at all.

Agggh!

So tired!

So hungry!

When did they leave?!

Here they come! Places, everyone!

Something's eaten Matt's head!

Something's growing out of Matt's shirt.

Like the entrance, beautiful people? Did it scream power couple to you?

They're not seeing it.

-Let's go again, but with double power this time.

-OK.

CHARLESTON MUSIC PLAYS

MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYS

So, don't be shy, what do you think of my new hat.

-Tabs loves it.

-You are stunning in it.

Oh, what is that delightful aroma?

Oh, nothing, just a little...cake.

It's not appealing at all.

A refined lady like myself doesn't enjoy the warm,

smooth embrace of Australia's finest nectar.

Don't be shy.

Cut yourself a piece.

Cake!

Uncle Bob, no!

Best prank ever!

-There's balloon and Vegemite everywhere!

-What did you say?

SHE BURPS

-Oh, crikey, I've been rumbled!

-Yes, we did it!

-Get in!

Right, that's it, I have had it.

I can't feel my toes.

I can only hear out of one ear.

I think I swallowed some of the balloon.

What happened here?

Everything.

I haven't been keeping fit, or eating healthy food,

-and the kids have been blackmailing me.

-Is that so?

Please forgive me! I promise that if you allow me back

into Corey's Boot Camp, I'll do anything you tell me.

All right, Bob, I forgive you.

Now, go and get cleaned up and we'll start with some sit-ups.

Bless you! Bless you, Corey!

You monsters!

Aggh!

We really were trying to get electricity to the tree house.

But we also wanted Dad to get fit,

and, you know, it didn't hurt that Mum gave us a bribe

to trick Dad into exercising.

Oh! She said bride, not bribe.

I was only acting posh because I thought you were.

Same here, mate! I eat food with my hands, and I miss my mouth a lot.

-I eat with my hands all the time!

-So what do we do now?

I guess we could start over?

Well, that would be bonzer.

-G'day, I'm Tabitha.

-I'm Matt.

So there's this place called Fry Guys,

and they fry literally anything,

and you have to eat with your hands because they don't have any cutlery.

Let me just change into my proper clothes and I'll meet you there.

Ow!

Oh!

Oh. I thought I lost something back there.

So you didn't break up?

I guess that means you won't be singing the blues any more?

No more blues. Thanks for caring, Ginger.

As far as meddling cousins go, you're all right.

Thanks, but can you do me a favour and not tell the boys?

I mean, they kind of think I'm a hero for breaking you two up.

Ow!

Oh, I was just looking for something.