Crud Burger Sidekick

# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to Sidekick School

# Learning to be second best while playing by the rules

# Maxum Man is missing

# Now we rule the school

# Flying, smashing, bashing, stomping, looking super cool

# I'm a sidekick, sidekick - that's the life for me

# Half-sized super zeros with full-sized super dreams

# Sidekick, sidekick What an awesome gig!

# Just like superheroes

# Just like superzeros

# but only half as big

# Sidekick! #

Remember, class, ze pop quiz on cold fusion welding

could happen any time.

It happens now! He-he-he.

I knew these invisibility suits would come in handy!

Let's turn them on and sneak out of here.

LAUGHTER

Trevor, these aren't invisibility suits...

they're disappearing suits!

Ahhh!

Nein. You have failed ze emergency alien alarm system test.

F's for you.

Ha-ha-ha.

Ahhh! Ha-ha!

Really? You swallowed your flight ring... Again?

Hey, if you're so smart, why are you flying over a laser field? Hah.

Ahhh!

Ow, I've never felt wind on my inny-parts before. Ah!

Wow, reassembled perfectly. That was lucky!

And we weren't even embarrassed this time.

Ha-ha-ha!

And there it is.

I wonder if I can hide my head until school is over, you know,

in, like, ten years.

Argh, ah!

Feel the power of the triple slam!

BOOM!

-Whoa!

-What was that? Are we under attack?

Only by the most awesomest thing I've ever seen.

Sink your teeth into a burger so good it's e-vile.

The Crud Burger Triple Slam.

Two mostly meat patties surround by a cheese slice

cursed in the pits of a demon dimension...

Whoa.

..then smothered in diesel-flavoured barbecue sauce.

I eat burger, you eat burger.

The Crud Burger Triple Slam,

only at Crud Burger on the e-vile side of town.

Stomach insurance sold separately.

CHEERING

Wow, only the coolest people eat Crud Burgers.

That's it, we're going to take a walk on the evil side

and get ourselves a Crud Burger. That'll prove we're cool!

Evil and burgers? Those are my three favourite things!

Hey, girls, Trevor and I are about to do something so awesome

and so dangerous and so not-at-school, so, I was...

You want us to cover for you so Pamplemoose

-won't know you've gone to Crud Burger.

-How did you...?

-Uh, we're psychic.

-And at the same table as you.

Hello.

We'll cover. It'll be fun to watch you guys

crash and burn trying to pull this off.

Thanks, you guys are awesome.

You think they'll survive the evil side of town?

Hah, they can barely survive the good side of town.

Skipping class, are we? I don't think so.

No-one has skipped my class and survived. No-one!

Mmm, fruity.

Man, who knew the good side of town would be so hard to cross?

I hope the evil side isn't much worse.

SCREAMING

I've really got to stop saying stuff like that out loud. You got the map?

Yup. There's about a million of these evil maps in my dad's office.

Huh. He must really like maps.

Huh, it seems Maxum Man's sidekick

and his handsome friend have decided to take a walk on the e-vile side.

It's time those kids learned that sometimes good guys

finish destroyed.

Snack time!

Mmm, popo-licious.

Wow, we built some pretty good Eric and Trevor decoys.

I still think we could've just used these. Who'd know the difference?

What up, dog? I'm the real Eric and clearly not a robot.

Whoa! Awesome!

Yeah.

Oh, relax. It's just a death-ray, a spine-crusher,

monkey and a rusty gate...

that leads to a cemetery filled with alien zombies.

Hmm, time for old Xox welcome.

Hmm-hmm-hmm, he-he-ha-ha!

Hammer lights, cool!

I'm not a nail, not a nail!

-Gyah!

-Down here!

Hah! He-he. Missed me.

Ah. Whoa! Missed me. Hey!

Ha-ha-ha!

Trying to be destroyed, are we?

Vell, you von't get away from me so easily. Nein, no-one skips my...

You ever get that feeling like somebody's trying to destroy you?

No, why? Is someone trying to destroy me?

Is it you?

Oh, forget it.

FLUSHING SOUND

Done.

Yikes! Please say we're near Crud Burger.

Super close, we just have to go through Cyborg Town,

Skull City and Slugsworth and we're there.

Oh, dude, rain?

I wanted to visit Slugtown Gardens while we were here.

They're legendary, dude.

Ah!

That's weird, raindrops don't burn things on the good side of town...

or follow us! Ah!

He-he-ha-ha.

Ahhh!

You vill not ruin my perfect attendance record.

I vill shtop you!

Gah. Argh...

I don't get it. Everyone seems to like the robots.

Well, they are kinda fun.

Heads up!

Ha. Ha.

What a catch! Way to go, Trevor.

I am Trevor, that is how I roll.

I knew we should have used these, nobody would think these were cool.

-Hey, Eric...

-Ahhh!

OK, I think we're through the worst of it.

And we're about to find out who's been chasing us.

Is it a banjo-playing fish?

Close.

You're trespassing, boys.

Your sidekicking days are over. He-he-he.

Erm, would you mind moving around? I can barely see you.

Gah, oh, forget it. I'll just hit everything!

Dude, pretty!

Let's, "Ooh," from over here.

Why isn't he shooting?

He's trying to kill us with suspense.

Pamplemoose, how many times must I destroy you?

And how many body parts do you even have left?

More zan enough to deal with you, Xox.

Back avay from ze students, zey are mine.

Sorry, my side of town, mine for the destroying.

You vant destroying?

-I'll give you destroying!

-Bring it on, saucer boy.

-Maybe Xox fell asleep?

-Gah...

Forget Xox, look!

Yes, we did it! It's Crud Burger time.

We have to end this, those dummies are disrupting the natural

social order of the school...

meaning me at the top!

Oh, relax, it's not so bad, I...

..argh, this stops now!

We made it! Our key to coolness, in a bun.

Grr.

Four Crud Burger Triple Slams, please, to go.

Want me serve super-mutate burger for extra 75 cents?

Naturally.

Awe-some.

Oh, and that's to go. Thank you!

-D'oh.

-He-he-he.

BELL RINGS

We're so close, I can feel the not-getting-laughed-at, already.

We are going to be heroes.

First stop, showing you to everyone. Next stop, my belly.

My burgers, no!

Now nobody's going to know how cool we are.

No-vone plays hookey from my class, no-vone!

But... burgers... belly...

wa-ha-ha...

Nein, you vill complain on your own time. Detention for you.

Und zen, a hot bath for me.

Go, Eric! Go, Trevor!

Go, Eric, Go, Trevor! Go, Eric! Go, Trevor!

Well, at least we didn't get laughed at, again.

Yeah, and those robots actually made us look cool and popular.

Maybe things worked out, after all.

There's only one cure for popularity, humiliation.

LAUGHTER

ECHOES OF LAUGHTER

And there it is.