Crud Burger Sidekick


Crud Burger

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# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to Sidekick School

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# Learning to be second best while playing by the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing

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# Now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing, stomping, looking super cool

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# I'm a sidekick, sidekick - that's the life for me

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# Half-sized super zeros with full-sized super dreams

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# Sidekick, sidekick What an awesome gig!

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# Just like superheroes

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# Just like superzeros

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# but only half as big

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# Sidekick! #

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Remember, class, ze pop quiz on cold fusion welding

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could happen any time.

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It happens now! He-he-he.

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I knew these invisibility suits would come in handy!

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Let's turn them on and sneak out of here.

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LAUGHTER

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Trevor, these aren't invisibility suits...

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they're disappearing suits!

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Ahhh!

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Nein. You have failed ze emergency alien alarm system test.

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F's for you.

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Ha-ha-ha.

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Ahhh! Ha-ha!

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Really? You swallowed your flight ring... Again?

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Hey, if you're so smart, why are you flying over a laser field? Hah.

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Ahhh!

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Ow, I've never felt wind on my inny-parts before. Ah!

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Wow, reassembled perfectly. That was lucky!

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And we weren't even embarrassed this time.

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Ha-ha-ha!

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And there it is.

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I wonder if I can hide my head until school is over, you know,

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in, like, ten years.

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Argh, ah!

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Feel the power of the triple slam!

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BOOM!

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-Whoa!

-What was that? Are we under attack?

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Only by the most awesomest thing I've ever seen.

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Sink your teeth into a burger so good it's e-vile.

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The Crud Burger Triple Slam.

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Two mostly meat patties surround by a cheese slice

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cursed in the pits of a demon dimension...

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Whoa.

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..then smothered in diesel-flavoured barbecue sauce.

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I eat burger, you eat burger.

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The Crud Burger Triple Slam,

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only at Crud Burger on the e-vile side of town.

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Stomach insurance sold separately.

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CHEERING

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Wow, only the coolest people eat Crud Burgers.

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That's it, we're going to take a walk on the evil side

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and get ourselves a Crud Burger. That'll prove we're cool!

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Evil and burgers? Those are my three favourite things!

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Hey, girls, Trevor and I are about to do something so awesome

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and so dangerous and so not-at-school, so, I was...

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You want us to cover for you so Pamplemoose

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-won't know you've gone to Crud Burger.

-How did you...?

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-Uh, we're psychic.

-And at the same table as you.

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Hello.

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We'll cover. It'll be fun to watch you guys

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crash and burn trying to pull this off.

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Thanks, you guys are awesome.

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You think they'll survive the evil side of town?

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Hah, they can barely survive the good side of town.

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Skipping class, are we? I don't think so.

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No-one has skipped my class and survived. No-one!

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Mmm, fruity.

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Man, who knew the good side of town would be so hard to cross?

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I hope the evil side isn't much worse.

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SCREAMING

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I've really got to stop saying stuff like that out loud. You got the map?

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Yup. There's about a million of these evil maps in my dad's office.

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Huh. He must really like maps.

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Huh, it seems Maxum Man's sidekick

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and his handsome friend have decided to take a walk on the e-vile side.

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It's time those kids learned that sometimes good guys

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finish destroyed.

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Snack time!

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Mmm, popo-licious.

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Wow, we built some pretty good Eric and Trevor decoys.

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I still think we could've just used these. Who'd know the difference?

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What up, dog? I'm the real Eric and clearly not a robot.

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Whoa! Awesome!

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Yeah.

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Oh, relax. It's just a death-ray, a spine-crusher,

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monkey and a rusty gate...

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that leads to a cemetery filled with alien zombies.

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Hmm, time for old Xox welcome.

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Hmm-hmm-hmm, he-he-ha-ha!

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Hammer lights, cool!

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I'm not a nail, not a nail!

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-Gyah!

-Down here!

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Hah! He-he. Missed me.

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Ah. Whoa! Missed me. Hey!

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Ha-ha-ha!

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Trying to be destroyed, are we?

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Vell, you von't get away from me so easily. Nein, no-one skips my...

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You ever get that feeling like somebody's trying to destroy you?

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No, why? Is someone trying to destroy me?

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Is it you?

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Oh, forget it.

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FLUSHING SOUND

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Done.

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Yikes! Please say we're near Crud Burger.

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Super close, we just have to go through Cyborg Town,

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Skull City and Slugsworth and we're there.

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Oh, dude, rain?

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I wanted to visit Slugtown Gardens while we were here.

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They're legendary, dude.

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Ah!

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That's weird, raindrops don't burn things on the good side of town...

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or follow us! Ah!

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He-he-ha-ha.

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Ahhh!

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You vill not ruin my perfect attendance record.

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I vill shtop you!

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Gah. Argh...

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I don't get it. Everyone seems to like the robots.

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Well, they are kinda fun.

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Heads up!

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Ha. Ha.

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What a catch! Way to go, Trevor.

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I am Trevor, that is how I roll.

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I knew we should have used these, nobody would think these were cool.

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-Hey, Eric...

-Ahhh!

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OK, I think we're through the worst of it.

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And we're about to find out who's been chasing us.

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Is it a banjo-playing fish?

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Close.

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You're trespassing, boys.

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Your sidekicking days are over. He-he-he.

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Erm, would you mind moving around? I can barely see you.

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Gah, oh, forget it. I'll just hit everything!

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Dude, pretty!

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Let's, "Ooh," from over here.

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Why isn't he shooting?

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He's trying to kill us with suspense.

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Pamplemoose, how many times must I destroy you?

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And how many body parts do you even have left?

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More zan enough to deal with you, Xox.

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Back avay from ze students, zey are mine.

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Sorry, my side of town, mine for the destroying.

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You vant destroying?

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-I'll give you destroying!

-Bring it on, saucer boy.

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-Maybe Xox fell asleep?

-Gah...

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Forget Xox, look!

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Yes, we did it! It's Crud Burger time.

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We have to end this, those dummies are disrupting the natural

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social order of the school...

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meaning me at the top!

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Oh, relax, it's not so bad, I...

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..argh, this stops now!

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We made it! Our key to coolness, in a bun.

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Grr.

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Four Crud Burger Triple Slams, please, to go.

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Want me serve super-mutate burger for extra 75 cents?

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Naturally.

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Awe-some.

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Oh, and that's to go. Thank you!

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-D'oh.

-He-he-he.

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BELL RINGS

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We're so close, I can feel the not-getting-laughed-at, already.

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We are going to be heroes.

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First stop, showing you to everyone. Next stop, my belly.

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My burgers, no!

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Now nobody's going to know how cool we are.

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No-vone plays hookey from my class, no-vone!

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But... burgers... belly...

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wa-ha-ha...

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Nein, you vill complain on your own time. Detention for you.

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Und zen, a hot bath for me.

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Go, Eric! Go, Trevor!

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Go, Eric, Go, Trevor! Go, Eric! Go, Trevor!

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Well, at least we didn't get laughed at, again.

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Yeah, and those robots actually made us look cool and popular.

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Maybe things worked out, after all.

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There's only one cure for popularity, humiliation.

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LAUGHTER

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ECHOES OF LAUGHTER

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And there it is.

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