The Henchman Challenge Sidekick


The Henchman Challenge

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# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to Sidekick School

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# Learning to be second best while playing by the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing Now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing Stomping, looking super-cool

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# I'm a Sidekick, Sidekick That's the life for me

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# Half-sized superzeros with full-sized super dreams

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# Sidekick, Sidekick What an awesome gig!

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-# Just like superheroes

-Just like superzeros

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# But only half as big Sidekick! #

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I am hoping you brought your 'A' game.

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I specifically ordered your 'A' game to be brought in.

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Today, Eric Needles is going to lead our team in winning

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the Henchman Prize!

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I am? Cool, slash, groovy, slash, what's a Henchman Prize?

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The Henchman Prize is where we all have a bath with an ostrich.

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Erm, not quite.

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It's a competition between us

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and Master XOX's Henchman Vocational School.

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Really? My bad, Lester.

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In all ze years, we have won ze prize only once. Roll ze clip.

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This week in Super Sports History, the Henchman Challenge.

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Freshman and cat's meow, aspiring Sidekick Maxum Man hopes to

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lead his team to victory against the ragamuffin, no-nonsense Henchmen.

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Mind your potatoes, Henchmen!

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Maxum Man dominates in the dodge cannonball event.

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-CHEERING

-Whoo! Yeah!

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Maxum Man wins the cup. A truly historic day for Sidekick sports.

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And now you, Maxum Man's newest protege,

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will follow in his glorious footsteps!

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Maxum Man has powers. Me? Not so much.

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The prize is not about powers.

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It is about honour, integrity, pride and, above all...

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winning!

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That's why, as your team captain, it is my sworn duty to...

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Eric is team captain.

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Sorry, I seem to have some crazy in my ears...

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-SHOUTING:

-Eric is team captain!

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De-fence! De...

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..fence.

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You will do us proud or...

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Detention for you!

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-CROWD CHEERS

-But I need to be team captain!

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I even had Kitty write a playbook!

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-Oops, wrong book!

-SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

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Winning this was Maxum Man's first step to becoming a Super

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and it'll be mine, too.

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That's awesome, dude. So, when do we start cheating?

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I got your ray guns, screwdrivers, lasers, screwdrivers with lasers...

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Whoa, whoa, whoa, we're not cheating. Maxum Man would never cheat.

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Rightio then... One massacre coming up.

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Ahh, Pamplemoose.

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I really thought you'd stay home this time.

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Nein! I never shy away from a fight.

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Plus, it's being fumigated.

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BUG ROARS

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Und zis year, we have an edge! Maxum Man's Sidekick, Eric!

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Ha! He's no match for my definitely- not-remotely-controlled-through

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a-silicon-chip-I-surgically- implanted-in-their-brain Henchmen!

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All in favour of cheating? Aye.

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The cheaters have it. See that?

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I just cheated and won.

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I'm Trevor Troublemeyer and I endorse this cheating.

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No cheating.

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BOOING

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HE SIGHS

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Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and...other things,

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to the annual Henchman Challenge!

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CHEERING Our first event, the water cube.

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In this one, you have to rescue the dummy Super

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but, as team captain, you already know that, right?

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As team captain, I say, chillax.

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Wait, sharks can smell fear, can't they?

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That means if I'm not afraid, they won't know I'm there! It's Zen!

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HE EXHALES

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MEDITATION MUSIC PLAYS

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Not Zen! Definitely not Zen!

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CROWD MOANS Let's see the Henchmen beat that!

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HE CACKLES

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HE GASPS

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And the event goes to... The Henchmen!

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CHEERING Hey, that's cheating!

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And really bad dancing...

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FOLK MUSIC

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Eric, the bad guys don't have rules. We have 6,471.

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Don't worry, guys, it's only one event. We'll win the next one.

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ANNOUNCER: And the next event goes to... The Henchmen!

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What?!

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HE SIGHS

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Und I had such high hopes. Wake me when it's over.

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HE SNORES

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Face it, Eric. We only have one chance to win. We've got to cheat.

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We can't cheat, we're the good guys, remember?

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Honour, integrity, pride...

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other stuff?

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You tell 'em, Eric!

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But we have to do something! Anything!

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If we lose the Save Your Super From Lava event,

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we might as well go home, so don't lose!

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OK, no problem.

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I'll just, erm...

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..get a new pair of shoes.

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HE CACKLES

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The Henchmen have an unbeatable time!

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Fine. If that's the only way we're going to win

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then we'll cheat like Trevor on Friday's quiz!

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What? Someone cheated?!

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Heh-heh, he's kidding, I swear.

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All right, Trevor, let's do it.

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Eric, no!

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Way ahead of you, broheim.

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Wa-ha-ha-ha!

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Huh?

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Amazing! With a record run of four seconds, the Sidekicks win!

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We won? We won!

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HE LAUGHS

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UPBEAT MUSIC

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-Uh-huh, aw, yeah!

-Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

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MUSIC CONTINUES

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MISSILE TICKS

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Ah!

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What?

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EXPLOSION

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For defusing the doomsday device in record time

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and for blowing up the other team, Sidekicks win!

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-Whoo!

-Yeah!

-Right on!

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Huh?

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SOBBING

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Now, to gain ze trophy, you must win ze final event,

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ze most ancient and deadly sport that any student has ever faced!

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It will be terrifying, death-defying

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und guaranteed to leave a mark.

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FANFARE Mega dodge cannonball!

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CROWD GASPS Aw, man. I hate dodgeball.

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So, what's the cheating plan, man?

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The old kick-'em-aroo? The wing-'em-and-ding-'em?

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Skipso-la-rato?

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Those aren't even real things! And I don't know.

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The slappity-doo?

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Oh, stop looking at me like that, Kitty!

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I know cheating is wrong but there's no other way to win.

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XOX has been cheating the whole time.

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But XOX is a villain, that's what he does!

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What would Maxum Man say?

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Hmm...

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Hey, there, sport! Congratulations! Because you've played

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with honour, integrity and valour,

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you've earned the Maxum Man seal of approval!

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-Ah!

-A registered trademark of Maxumcorp.

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Guys, Maxum Man talked to me and he doesn't want us to cheat!

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He talks to everyone.

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It's the pre-recorded speech he gives every year.

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Yeah, they beam them right into your brain.

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Ew! I don't care. Maxum Man's right, I can't cheat anymore.

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We're no better than them.

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THEY BABBLE

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OK, so we're a little better than them, but you get my point.

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I knew it! I knew you'd do the right thing.

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BOTH: Me, too...

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Sure, we aren't controlled by an evil genius but we have something better.

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Please say cheating, please say cheating...

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No, each other!

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And together, we're going to play

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that mega dodge cannonball game and win!

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Argh!

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Vana, no!

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Whoa, ugh!

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Told you we should have chea... Ugh!

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Wow, not cheating is sure going to hurt.

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Ethan crush!

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Argh!

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Hee-hee-hee! Ha-ha-ha!

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Argh!

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Eric!

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CROWD CHEERS He's still alive!

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Eric, you can't win! Cheat, man!

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Cheat!

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Don't do it, Eric.

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HE PANTS

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Ha-ha!

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What's he doing?

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Oh, I can't watch!

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What is he doing?

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Look at the good guy! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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HENCHMEN LAUGH

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What are you doing, you dolts? Get him!

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He'll be massacred!

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Ooh, let me see!

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But he's your best friend!

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Huh, still...

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Goodbye, Sidekick.

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-KITTY GASPS

-Eric!

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Fire!

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I did it! CHEERING

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He did it! The Sidekicks win, the Sidekicks win!

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In a move reminiscent of Maxum Man himself,

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though far less impressive, Eric Needles has won!

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Gah!

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Can you believe it? We won! The good guys finally won!

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-Ha-ha-ha!

-Whoo-hoo!

-All right!

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KLAXON SOUNDS

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Sidekicks lose two points for breaking rule 47.43,

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no excessive celebration on the podium.

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The Henchmen win! CROWD BOOS

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-Give it, it's mine!

-No!

-I won unfair and...

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Well, we may not have won

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but at least we're still the good guys.

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-Yargh!

-Haw-haw-haw!

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