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This Hour Has 22,000,000 Minutes Sidekick

This Hour Has 22,000,000 Minutes

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# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to Sidekick School

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# Learning to be second best while playing by the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing

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# Now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing, stomping, looking super cool

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# I'm a sidekick, sidekick - that's the life for me

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# Half-sized super zeros with full-sized super dreams

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# Sidekick, sidekick - what an awesome gig!

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# Just like superheroes

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# Just like superzeros

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# But only half as big

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# Sidekick! #

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ROCK MUSIC BLARES

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MUSIC STOPS

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HIS BONES CRACK

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I'm asking Vana to the dance today.

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She's going to say no, but I'm asking anyway!

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Ah, hot, hot!

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Why does the thermonuclear foodatron have to make things so hot?

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And so tasty.

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Gah, bus! Hey, wait!

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HE COUGHS

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Hmm!

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-Mm. CLOCK:

-I don't want to live in an old folk's home!

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Come on, people, this dance isn't going to decorate itself.

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Hoist that disco ball, sweep that floor, paint that banner!

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I haven't got all day - move it!

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Sorry I'm late to help decorate.

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I burned my hand, missed the bus then coughed up bacon and ate it.

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-And that's not gross, because...

-Wow, THAT IS SO INTERESTING(!)

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Whoa-oa-oa-oa!

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Well, what is it? Is there something else?

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Spit it out, I haven't got all day!

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Move it! Move it!

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Hey, Trevor. When did you volunteer to decorate for the dance?

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What dance?

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I don't know, it's missing something.

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Yeah, I was going to paint something in his nose

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but I don't have any green paint, so...

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Wait a sec!

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OK...

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It's now or never, it's the do-or-die moment,

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the time for waiting is over, it's time to ask Vana to the dance!

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-Yep, I, I, I...

-Oh, just do it!

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What now?!

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Um, as you know, the school dance is tomorrow,

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and I was wondering if...if, you know, you'd, um...

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APPROACHING WHOOSH

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Aghhhh!

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Ohhhh...

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ROCK MUSIC BLARES

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MUSIC STOPS

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HIS BONES CRACK

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I'm asking Vana to the dance today.

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She's going to say no, but I'm asking anyway.

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Ah, so hot! But so tasty.

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Wait a sec, this feels kind of familiar.

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And painful.

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Hmm, weird. Gah! The bus!

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Hey, wait!

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HE COUGHS

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Hmm. Oh, yeah.

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Cool.

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I don't want to live in an old folk's home!

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Come on, people, this dance isn't going to decorate itself.

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Hoist that disco ball, sweep that floor, paint that banner!

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I haven't got all day - move it!

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Wow, deja again.

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Well, what is it?

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Sorry I'm late, I burned my hand,

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missed the bus, then coughed up bacon and ate it.

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Wow, THAT IS SO INTERESTING(!)

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Whoa-oa-oa-oa!

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Is there something else? Spit it out! I haven't got all day, move it!

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MOVE IT!

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Something's up. I feel like I've done this before.

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-Hey, when did you start decorating for the dance? BOTH:

-What dance?

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See, something weird IS going on!

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Dude, you're like a mind-reader or something.

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Bet you can't guess what I'm going to do next.

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Yeah, I knew you were going to do that. And - gross.

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-Next, I try to ask Vana to the dance. But I freeze out.

-Oh, just do it.

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-What?!

-Em, have you ever had that feeling you're about to

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do something you've already done?

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APPROACHING WHOOSH

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-Aghhh!

-Aghhhh!

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Right...Kitty crashing. I definitely remember... Ah!

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ROCK MUSIC BLARES

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MUSIC STOPS

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HIS BONES CRACK

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I'm asking Vana to the dance today.

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I knew it! Everything IS repeating. Man, I can't wait to tell Trevor.

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Hmm.

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Ow, ow! Too tasty not to repeat.

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Yes!

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Hey, it's Static Clint and, eh, some weird clock dude. That's strange.

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Come on, people, this dance isn't going to decorate itself.

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-Vana?

-Hey, Eric, guess what?

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Yeah, yeah, I know, awesome picture of Pamplemoose.

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Hey, how'd you know I was going to paint Pamplemoose?

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I didn't know I was going to paint Pamplemoose.

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You know what? I should totally paint Pamplemoose!

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No, Kitty, wait! Kitty, don't strap on that helmet.

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Anything for you, Eric.

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Eric, those decorations aren't going to hang themselves.

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But the helmet's going to malfunction!

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Uh, I don't have time for this!

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-Give it to me!

-But...it's...dangerous.

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Ha, got it!

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And there it goes.

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ROCK MUSIC BLARES

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MUSIC STOPS

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OK. Maybe I could use a little help figuring out what's going on.

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Hmm, sounds like a garden-variety time loop.

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Plenty of supers and evil masterminds can do that.

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-OK, but which one?

-Mm, hard to say.

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There's Pendulum Pete, Big Ben, Tic-Toc Timmy, The Clock Puncher...

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The Clock Puncher! I saw him from the bus.

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Static Clint was chasing him.

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Static Clint?! I wonder...

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Of course!

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If Static Clint's electric powers are combined with

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the Clock Puncher's time-slowing abilities, the day is erased,

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and you start all over again.

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-Erased?

-As if it never happened.

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ROCK MUSIC BLARES

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MUSIC STOPS

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Trevor, we're caught in a time loop, so we can do anything we want.

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How soon can you get here?

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DASHING FOOTSTEPS

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-BREATHLESS:

-I assume we start in the, er, evil gadgets room?

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Huh?

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TREVOR CACKLES

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BWARK!

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THEY GIGGLE

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-Mmm.

-LIQUID TRICKLES

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-Yaaa!

-Woo-hoo!

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Ugh.

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Doing all this stuff is fun,

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but when nobody remembers your cool pranks, what good is it?

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Besides, I'll never get to ask Vana to the dance if I keep avoiding it.

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It's time to stop the time stopper and his stopping of time!

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We're here, Dad. Heroic Pines, home for ageing supers.

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Welcome to your...

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-SLOWLY:

-..new home.

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-Hey, stop using your powers on me!

-I'm not going!

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I want to keep supering.

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-Get your hands off!

-Come on, Dad...

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Ow! Dad, you can't change your mind now. I've already paid the deposit.

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Stop being so stubborn!

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-Guys!

-Dad, stop. Don't make me do this.

-What, make my hair stand up?

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TYRES SCREECH

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All right, that's it! I warned you.

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BUZZING AND CLOCK TOLLING

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Guys, you have to stop. Your fighting keeps causing time to...

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ROCK MUSIC BLARES

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MUSIC STOPS

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OK, a little quicker this time.

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Ah, hot, hot! Always time for time-loop bacon.

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-We're here, Dad.

-Stop!

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You can't force the Clock Puncher to live in Heroic Pines,

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or you guys will fight, and it'll make time loop over and over!

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But he can't stay with me. I barely have room for a mini fridge.

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-No-one's going to lock me up!

-Now, Dad, just calm down.

-Guys!

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ALL: Aghhh!

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OK, I hope this works. Be ready for my cue, you're my secret weapon.

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-We're here, Dad. Hey, what are you doing?

-No-one's going to lock me up!

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You can't just...

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I'm sorry to do this,

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but you two are going to use your superpowers and make time loop.

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Which'll be fun at first, but boy, will it get annoying after a while.

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I know, this isn't your fault, you don't have room for your dad.

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And you don't want to retire because you want to keep on supering.

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But I think I may have found a reason for you to change your mind.

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You can come out now.

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Clock Puncher, meet Suzy Sweetie. Suzy, meet the Clock Puncher.

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-So...are you good to go?

-And how, hoo-hoo-hoo.

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Ah, I did it, I fixed time.

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Oh, got to go, time to ask Vana to the dance.

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Question - do you like to cha-cha?

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STATIC CLINT MURMURS IN FRUSTRATION

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Agh, agh, aghhhh!

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-Hi, Eric!

-Hey, Kitty.

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Eric, my hero! I better take a look at the hydraulics.

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-Vana?

-Yes, Eric?

-So, look, I was wondering...

-Yes?

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-Why is this so difficult?

-Go ahead, just ask.

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Vana, would you like to go to the dance with...?

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-What?

-Agh!

-Was ist that?! Herr Needles! You like to paint, huh?

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Well, then, you will paint every wall in the school.

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Which means...NO DANCE FOR YOU!

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The dance!

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I've been so busy decorating that I never even got invited.

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Heck, at the last minute like this I even think I'd have gone with you.

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But, but, but, but, but...

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No! I need a do-over!

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DO-OVER!

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