Comic Book Zombies Sidekick


Comic Book Zombies

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# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to Sidekick School

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# Learning to be second best while playing be the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing, now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing, stomping, looking super-cool

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# I'm a sidekick, sidekick - that's the life for me

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# Half-sized super zeroes with full-sized super dreams

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# Sidekick, sidekick, what an awesome gig

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# Just like superheroes

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# Just like superzeroes

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# But only half as big Sidekick! #

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-You ready?

-You got it, partner.

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-Ah!

-Oh, gosh.

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Ah...nerds.

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I love the smell of acne cream in the evening.

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Isn't it awesome that we...actually, I, was personally invited here?

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This thing knows your name?

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And your address?!

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It's an invitation...

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to the Super Science Fiction And Role-Playing

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Comic And Video Game Convention!

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The Su Sci-Fi Role-Play Com Vid-Ga Con?

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Again, yes.

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The organiser wants me to give the keynote speech.

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We're going to be convention vips!

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Erm, that's V-I-Ps.

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Whoa, kings of the geeks!

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That's right, let's get in there so I can start my reign.

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You, it's you! Go right in, sir.

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LOUD CRASH

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Ah!

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Hey, thanks.

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I'm Timmy, the organiser of the Su Sci-Fi Role-Play Com Vid-Ga Con.

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Oh, right. I am so stoked for my speech -

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Ironing Supersuits, A Sidekick's Menialist Challenge.

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Ah! Is that an original Maxum Man's sidekick Eric sidekick outfit?!

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Erm, yes. It's my clothing.

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Yes, well... I'll see you before your speech.

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In the meantime, enjoy the convention.

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Ah!

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It's...

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geek-tastic.

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Gah! Heh-heh-heh.

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Hey, I was promised a coffee.

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Bah! Where's my sweetener?

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Touche.

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Say cheese!

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-Oh. My. Gosh.

-It's him!

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I hope he's so into my hair.

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He seems so much smaller in person, and weaker...and smells.

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Yeah, I could get used to this.

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Well, well, what a surprise to see you guys in Nerd City.

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Vana? At a comic convention?

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Hey, I'm just here to catch Kitty if she faints.

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Joshua Sideburns, the star of Bandages, is signing autographs...

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Ah!

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I don't get what's so great about those movies.

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Just a bunch of teen mummies unearthed from under the pyramids

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-looking for true love.

-They do have good hair.

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There he is!

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I apologise in advance, guys, this may get ugly.

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-Joshua!

-Look at me!

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Joshua!

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Ugh, I think this geekiness is totally...

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Ah! Angie the Aardvark?

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No way!

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Her Groovy-Time Space Station?!

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This is the original Angie, I've had it since I was six minutes old!

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Isn't that wight? Isn't it, wittle Angie-Wangie?

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-CRICKETS CHIRP

-Guys?

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Psh.

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Psh.

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Ah!

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Erm, hey, guys. How's it going?

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Are you enjoying the convention so far?

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Have you ever played with an Angie the Aardvark doll?

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He's clean.

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I mean, I do own hundreds of Angie the Aardvark dolls,

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but I'd never open their package to play with them.

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Ha-ha-ha!

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That would be ridiculous!

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Erm, great.

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Ah! Are those...?

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Are those...?!

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Yup, Captain Zorb's ears.

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Looks like Captain Zorb never heard of cotton swabs.

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Watch it, this is a priceless Maxum Man-related collectable!

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I mean, I'll catch you later.

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I mean, capture you... I mean, see you.

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Well, he seemed nice, for a weirdo.

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What say we blow this nerd stand and get us some snacks?

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Now you're talking.

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Fools! You've fallen into my trap.

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Huh?

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I am Mint Condition, the greatest collector of memorabilia ever,

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-and I have lured my greatest prize into my trust...

-Joshua, I love you!

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Ahem.

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I have the greatest super collection in the world

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and now it will be complete

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once I add Eric, sidekick to Maxum Man, the world's greatest hero

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and therefore the world's greatest sidekick!

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That totally doesn't sound like you, dude.

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I really should have known that no-one would actually want me

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to speak publicly. Not after last time.

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Erm, testing.

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One...two...ha-ha.

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Ah! Gah! Ow!

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Now, in the spirit of 1,000 action movies,

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I offer you...the crushing you slowly spiky wall trap!

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You cannot escape its...

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erm...walliness.

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If this is it, then I'm glad to have known you, Trevor.

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I wish I could say the same.

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Erm, I guess we could just leave.

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Sure, whatev.

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See you later, Minty!

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No-o-o-o!

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-Do-di-do...

-Ah!

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Wah!

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Out of my way, inferior collectors!

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We've got to get away from this guy.

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I don't want to be collected, though it is nice to be wanted.

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You think you can escape me?

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I'm the villain who pilfered Maxum Man's tennis shoes

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and swiped Maxum Man's buffet bib!

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And I'm the one who collected Maxum Man's underwear,

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can you believe he was just throwing it away?

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Steady...steady...

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He's almost gone.

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He's coming back...

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He's looking right at me...

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I should not be talking while we're hiding.

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You cannot escape me that easily!

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Coochie-coochie-coo.

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Not ticklish, huh?

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Gah!

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-Joshua! Joshua, I'm coming!

-Yay!

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Ugh, keep your voice down, Kitty, you're embarrassing yourself.

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SCREAMING

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OK, then you're embarrassing me.

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I knew it!

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He's a decoy and that's the real Joshua in disguise.

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This time, I'm getting that autograph,

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and maybe some of his sideburn hair, ha-ha-ha.

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Joshua!

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It's me, Kitty, your biggest fan.

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No! What have you done with Joshua?

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Ah, I mean, guys!

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What are you doing here?

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Oh, don't mind them, they're just getting collected.

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I am not memorabilia.

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I'm not even memorable, ask anybody.

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It's true.

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It's over, sidekick, you're mine.

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Not a chance, Minty.

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See, there's only one of you and four of us.

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How about we even the odds with my one-of-a-kind zombie ray?

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Purchased at Doctor Not-So-Dead's Mad Scientist Lab close-out sale.

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Argh...

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An army of collectors transformed into a single-minded zombie force

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and ready to collect...you!

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Are you sure they're zombies? I don't really see a difference.

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Relax, if I recall Zombie Drive-In Waiters 4 correctly,

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and I do, they're just going to try and pull off our faces and eat them.

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Eric, this is no movie! What do we do?

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Oh, right. Run!

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-Huh? They didn't even touch us.

-We're girls, Kitty.

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Nerds, zombie nerds, they all fear us.

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Ah!

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Ew, second printing.

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Dead end. You'd think we could out-run THEM.

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Yeah, we really shouldn't have stopped at that nacho cart.

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Oops.

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Ah!

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I think I've got it.

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Who wants it,

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an original Eric the Sidekick outfit which I just autographed in cheese?

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-Yay!

-What's going on here? I thought I'd...ah!

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Maxum Man's sidekick Eric's sidekick outfit!

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Me, me! Give it to me!

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It's all yours.

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Wa-ha-ha!

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Ah!

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No, no, it's mine. Mine!

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Gah!

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I want it, I want it!

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Huh, the creepy obsessed with Maxum Man kid who invited us here

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turned out to be a villain. Go figure.

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-You don't have any clothes on.

-Well, I'm just glad you're safe.

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Oh, OK, I've still got time to scale the hotel

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and hide in Joshua's suitcase before he flies to the airport. Bye!

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Wa-ha, whoo-hoo!

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So sad.

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Wittle Angie-Wangie.

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Now what do we do? LOUD CRASH

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Run from that guy?

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I am the Autographer.

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Now, sidekick, you're going to sign this photo

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or the Angie the Aardvark limited edition French mime doll gets it.

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-Ah!

-Ow, hey!

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-Give that back, she's special. Please.

-Mine!

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Man, why do we even come to these conventions?

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Because we're nerds.

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Oh, yeah, totally.

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