Drop the Needles Sidekick

# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to Sidekick School

# Learning to be second best while playing by the rules

# Maxum Man is missing Now we rule the school

# Flying, smashing, bashing stuff and looking super cool

# I'm a sidekick, sidekick - that's the life for me

# Half-sized super zeros with full-sized super dreams

# Sidekick, sidekick What an awesome gig!

# Just like superheroes Just like superzeros

# But only half as big! Sidekick! #

HE SNORES

Hiii-ya!

CRASH

Mm, Vana, delish!

I want to dip that performance

in guacamole and serve it to my cat.

OK, who is next?

Oh, oh, oh, me, Professor Metronome!

I'll totally go next.

All right, Eric, get up here and shake your music-maker.

I carved this recorder myself from the smouldering

remains of a tree that was cut down to make room for a sidewalk.

I call it... Paperboy.

CRICKET CHIRPS

HIP-HOP MUSIC INTERRUPTS

Awesome!

I guess this wall just couldn't handle the mad beats I's dropping.

THEY CHEER

Kid Ruthless is so the coolest guy in the whole school.

Where did that accent come from? He lives, like, two blocks from me.

What's all this, then? You about to play that lame recorder, bruv?

Lame?!

OK, paperboy, this guy thinks he can just walk in here

and steal our thunder?

Let's wail!

RECORDER SHRIEKS

HE LAUGHS

Brilliant, Needles.

THEY LAUGH

Now, now, girls, there's enough KR to go around.

I don't know why everyone thinks that Kid Ruthless is so cool.

Yeah, look at him over there with his sweet bandanna, and his

super style, and heroic good looks, and limitless psychic potential...

Pretty weak!

Oi, Needles, you land a record deal yet?

Oh, that's right - your music only lands airplanes. Ha-ha!

-What do you want, Ruthless?

-Nothing.

Just wanted to say something really mean and mildly comedic

-so you would look totally uncool.

-Oh, yeah?

Would a totally uncool guy eat his lunch like this?

Here, mate, let me help with some pie and mash.

Wha... Seriously, pants?

Sorry!

Check it.

Big deal. So Ruthless can spin records and eat...with his mouth.

I'm not impressed, are you, guys?

-Amazed.

-Dazzled!

I like the part where he did all of that.

Yeah, me neither.

I think it's time Ruthless learned who the real top dog is.

I meant me.

OK, Trevor, pink belly option on two, on two. Hut!

Ow! Tough defence.

Ah, he makes doing nothing look so cool.

HE GRUNTS

-Hm...

-Eric, if you are thinking about doing what I think

-you are thinking about doing...

-No, don't you see?

No-one can be that cool and be good at sports.

This must be Kid's weakness.

Wah! Wa-ah!

CHEERING

Wow, Ruthless scored so many points, everybody wins!

-ERIC GROANS

-So cool!

-That's it, I give up.

-Me too.

Let's just turn ourselves in.

I've been on the run too long. I can't take it any more.

No, I mean I'm done trying to out-cool Kid Ruthless.

-What were you talking about?

-Um... Nothing. That. What? Yoink.

Yoink?

-Dude, why would you...

-Come on, Eric.

Kit Ruthless is just better than you in every conceivable way.

It's no big deal.

Oh, hi, Kid. Love your hair today.

And yours lacks volume and shine.

Go hang with your boy, Needles.

What? My hair?!

But... Why, you...!

Let me go!

Hey, nobody insults my friend's hair and tells them to hang out with me.

I'm going to beat Ruthless at his own game - playing music and that...

-scratching records thing.

-You mean DJing?

I guess I mean DJing.

-IN FRENCH ACCENT: Challenge!

-What?

I challenge you to a battle of the bands. Except it's only two bands.

And not really bands, more like solo DJ acts, but it will be a battle.

Of that you can be certain.

Ha-ha-ha! You're having a laugh.

You want to battle me? Have you ever even used a turntable before?

No, but I've turned the tables on plenty of unsuspecting evil-doers.

CRICKET CHIRPS

Brilliant. OK, tomorrow.

Academy Gymnasium. Prepare to be destroyed.

Gulp!

HE LAUGHS

Ah, Eric, come in. I was just tickling my feet.

Oh, but how are you?

Oh, that Kid Ruthless really hit you below the utility belt

-this morning. Ouch!

-Yes, sir. That's why I'm here.

It's time to put Ruthless in his place.

You've made a 'challenge'?

Well, what are we waiting for?

Let's get wiggling!

This gorgeous hunk of machine is the montage-a-tron.

She can increase training speeds by 6,000%.

It's banned by all four major pro-sports leagues.

-What about soccer?

-What about soccer?

Let's go!

Woohoo!

And a pinch of jazz...and we are done!

-How does that feel?

-Amazing.

-But how is all of this supposed to help me in a DJ battle?

-Ah!

You challenged Kid Ruthless to a DJ battle? Oh, boy!

I thought it was a traditional

sweater fold-flat tyre- cake cups-stagalong challenge.

DJing?! Boy, he is going to flambe your pudding. Ha-ha-ha.

What are these? Just some standard battle forms.

Please initial and sign each page on the front, back,

all four corners, and...in French.

I'm not sure this is the same kind of battle of the bands

we had back at the orphanage.

JUG PLAYS

Ha-ha!

And that's how you knew who won.

Yeah, our battles are pretty much the same,

except instead of blowing on jugs, you fight for your life

in a gruelling last-man-standing battle royale.

So, should I call the ambulance now, or...?

I'll give you a minute.

Wait, how do I sign my name in French?!

Ladies and gentlemen,

this is a three-round DJ battle royale

with the Coolest Guy In The School title on the line.

Brought to you by Tighties -

the heavyweight champion of superhero tights.

If you've got flab, Tighties makes you look fab! Tighties!

Woohoo-hoo, Tighties!

Introducing first in this corner,

reigning DJ champion of the Sidekick Academy - Kid Ruthless!

And cowering in this corner,

with a history of nervous flatulence,

your challenger - Eric Needles!

TOOT-TOOT

Gentlemen, when the bell rings, come out scratching.

BELL RINGS

HE SCREAMS

I knew I'd get my break in the music industry someday.

That was awesome!

Oi, Needles. How about a little BASS-lift.

Ha-ha!

You OK, champ?

I can't see nothing. Cut me, Trev, cut me!

No, you don't want to do it.

Go on, cut me. Cut me.

-So, did you hear about Fantastamonkey?

-I know!

Who would've thought Zookeeper Thompson was his alter ego?

Scandalous!

Want to see the back?

What am I going to do, man? I'm getting smoked out there.

-Oh, so it's the mirror's fault?

-What?

I'm just saying - maybe if you cared a little less

about smashing beautiful antique mirrors

and a little more about DJing, you'd have a chance in this battle.

I just... I guess I don't care about DJing.

I just got caught up with trying to be popular, and now that

I'm about to be pulverised, I don't care much about that either.

Normally, I'm all over the whole don't-care-much thing

but, dude, this is not the time.

No, I do care about something.

Something important. Something bigger than popularity. I care about...

my music.

Ow!

Well, Needles, my boy, it's been sterling.

But I think it's time I put you out of your misery.

THEY GASP

HE GRUNTS

Sweet dreams, Needles.

Ah-ha!

You shall not scratch!

Ha-ha-ha, not that recorder again.

Fine, take your best shot, Needles.

I dare you.

If you insist.

THE KIDS SCREAM IN PAIN

SHRIEKING NOTE PLAYS

KID RUTHLESS GRUNTS

SHRIEKING NOTE PLAYS

OK. Not exactly what I had in mind, but... Woohoo!

-Hey, Eric. Congrats on winning yesterday.

-Um, thanks, Kid.

You inspired me to go after my real passion - bagpipes!

-Peace out, bruva.

-Ha, bagpipes? How lame is that?

I guess there is no doubt who the coolest kid in the school is now.

BAGPIPES PLAY

GIRLS SIGH SWOONINGLY

Kid Ruthless is the coolest kid ever!

Oh, come on!

Seriously, pants?