The Superest Day of the Year Sidekick


The Superest Day of the Year

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# We are Splitsboro kids And we go to Sidekick School

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# Learning to be second-best While playing by the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing Now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing stuff And looking super cool!

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# I'm a Sidekick! Sidekick! That's the life for me

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# Half-sized super zeros With full-sized super dreams!

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# I'm a Sidekick! Sidekick! What an awesome gig

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# Just like superheroes Just like super zeros

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# But only half as big! Sidekick! #

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Are you awesome? Particularly amazing?

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Filled with spectacular charismatic Maxum-ness?

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Then I have a job for you.

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I'm Maxum Man

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and you're not.

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But you COULD be the next Grand Marshal

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of the Hooray For Splitsboro Day Parade.

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I can't wait!

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All you have to do is build the best parade float and you're in.

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I love Hooray For Splitsboro Day!

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-ALL:

-Yay!

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ERIC SIGHS

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Maybe I'LL be Grand Marshal.

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AAAH-HA-HA-HA!

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AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

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I sense you disagree.

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Didn't you hear Maxum Man?

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The Grand Marshal needs to be amazing, charismatic, awesome,

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as in things which you TOTALLY ARE NOT!

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I so AM awesome and amazing!

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Right, guys?

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-Awkward.

-Yeah-huh.

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Dude, you are so interesting and amazing

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and full of personality and...

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No. No, you're not.

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Well, I love your boringness.

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It's what you makes you special and keeps other girls from liking you.

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-What?

-What?!

-What?

-What?

-What?

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Face it, Eric, you're not Grand Marshal material.

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But I am.

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Behold...

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the Glamour Slammer!

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-ALL:

-Oooh.

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Grand Marshal, here I come!

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I remember the Grand Marshal of the Orphanage Parade.

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ERIC GROANS

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YEOW!

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'He really put the grand in Grand.

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'And the marsh in Marshal. He was a Marsh-rat'

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YEOW!

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How we loved him so.

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-OW!

-Quiet, you.

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I'll show THEM who's not boring.

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I'm going to be the best Hooray For Splitsboro Day Grand Marshal EVER!

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Time to build my float of awesome-tude!

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That is a hairdryer.

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You, too?

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I guess there's no sense in asking you to help.

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Ha-ha. I tell you what,

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I will not help, but I will laugh at you mockingly while you work.

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OK? OK.

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Ha-ha-ha!

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-ARGH!

-Hmmm!

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A-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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-CRASH

-Ow!

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ENGINE REVS

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Yay, Eric! Ha-ha-ha! Woo-hoo!

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I give you the Trevormater!

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Two tonnes...

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mean...

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parade-ful madness...

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OW!

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-Ahem.

-Whoa-ho.

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Cool spinny mirror thingy.

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Just don't look directly at it. It'll melt your face off.

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-SLOW-MO:

-A-a-aweso-o-ome!

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-ARGH!

-Told ya!

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Behold, the Grand Marshal-making

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super-duper driving around machine!

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CROWD LAUGHS

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I made it myself. Kind of.

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Yay! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

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And just when I thought you couldn't get any lamer.

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RUMBLING

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-ARGH!

-Uh-oh.

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ENGINE REVS

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Prepare to be amazed,

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for it is I, Allan Amazing

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and my amazing ATV!

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Meet the Maxum Buster.

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Stand back, lest you be crushed in the DEATH MATCH!

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Nya-ha-ha-ha!

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Stand back?! No, wait, I mean...

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DEATH MATCH?!

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Sidekicks,

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welcome to the 50th annual

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Parade For Splitsboro Death Match!

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I thought this was a parade!

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Brain, why didn't you TELL me that this was a death match?

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I did.

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Death match rule number one -

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the last one standing is the new Grand Marshal.

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-BEGIN!

-AIR HORN BLARES

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Argh!

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Prepare to be crushed, little man.

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Wait! Why me first?

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Mostly it's because I do not like the look of your face.

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An amazing burn, no?

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Ah!

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It looks like Eric, Maxum Man's sidekick,

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will be our first casualty. Ha-ha-ha!

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I know, right, big surprise(!)

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Ha-ha-ha-ha! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

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I got your back, dude!

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Huh?

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NO-O-O-O!

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L-a-a-ame.

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CRASH!

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I have not yet begun to fight!

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You may thank me for your demise,

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which will be AMAZING!

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-CROWD:

-Whoo!

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BOOM!

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Troublemeyer has instigated a game-changer.

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And now we're down to the final two. Master Xox and the lovely Vana.

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Hey, what about me?

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Yes, yes, you're lovely, too.

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-ARGH!

-Ha-ha-ha! Hee-hee-hee! Ha-ha!

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You'll never defeat me, sidekick!

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I WILL be Grand Marshal!

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MWAH-HA-HA-HA!

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ARGH!

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YA-EE! WHOA!

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Stop and fight!

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Seriously, it's really hard with you running around like that.

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LASERS BLAST

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Hee-hee-hee! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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You're mine now, sidekick!

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THEY ALL GASP

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KITTY AND TREVOR SCREAM

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THEY ALL GASP

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WHEELS SQUEAK

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Yay!

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I, too, am in shock.

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ENGINE REVS

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You're mine, Needles!

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This is it. It is the ultimate fight to the death.

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Who will be crushed into the dirt?

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Eric. And who will be our newest grandmaster?!

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Vana. BEGIN!

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CROWD CHEERS

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AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

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Scary.

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-YEAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!

-Destroy him, Vana! Make him beg for mercy!

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HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

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'Use the source, Eric. The source.'

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Huh? What?

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Use the source of your power.

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My power?

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Your lack of personality.

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Your boringness is your strongest quality.

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Of course! My dullness!

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It's so simple, so perfect and... Hey!

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HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

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OK, become one with the boring.

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Bo-o-oring.

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Bo-o-oring.

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Bo-o-oring.

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Goodbye, Needles!

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ZAP!

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AAARGH!

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-ALL:

-Huh?

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Wow!

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Bo-o-oring.

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He's sucking up all the laser energy

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with his complete lack of personality.

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That's my Eric!

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Sounds about right.

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No! NO-O-O!

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I won't lose to YOU!

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Bo-o-oring.

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I won?

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I WON!

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-CROWD CHEERS

-Yay! Ha-ha-ha!

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Oh.

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Wa-ha-ha-ha!

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Whoa.

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I did it!

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I'm the new Grand Marshal!

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I'm so happy for you, Eric!

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Just goes to show that if you dare to dream,

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you can be anything.

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You got it cos you're boring, dude.

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Yep. Dare to dream.

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