The Heartbreak Golly Gee Kid Sidekick


The Heartbreak Golly Gee Kid

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# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to Sidekick School

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# Learning to be second best while playing by the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing Now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing stuff and looking super cool

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# I'm a sidekick, sidekick - that's the life for me

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# Half-sized super zeros with full-sized super dreams

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# Sidekick, sidekick What an awesome gig!

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# Just like superheroes Just like superzeros

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# But only half as big! Sidekick! #

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CHIRP, CHIRP!

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SQUAWK!

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HE SNIFFS

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Trevor, you smell...different.

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No, pretty much the same.

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Hey! No cutting in line!

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CRICKETS CHIRP

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It's pudding day!

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And I'm the first in line, so I get the best hidden treat.

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Last time, I found toenail clippings.

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Toenail clippings!

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Huh?

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That's not Mrs Ladleslopp?

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RUSSIAN ACCENT: Lunch is served.

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Yes!

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Tee-hee-hee!

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Someone other than me getting lavished with attention?!

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Not in my school!

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Or planet!

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Wow! She didn't even sneeze in the food once.

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I never sneeze in your food either!

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Yes. You do.

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Only when I don't have a tissue. Or Kitty's man-tie.

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I don't see any toenail clippings in here.

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-FOOD:

-Grrr!

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Ahh!

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Best pudding ever!

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Hey, Pamplemoose is doing something funny with his lips.

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You mean smiling?

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Let's find out what's going on!

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I was just wondering if you'd like to go get a plutonium corndog?

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-Or something?

-Niet!

-Ow!

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I don't like her.

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But you have to admire her dumping style.

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HE MOANS SOFTLY

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-Hey, Golly Gee Kid.

-Huh?

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How come the new lunch lady is staring at you

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the same way I stare at Vana?

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Only with less drool?

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Wh... I don't know a new lunch lady, what's a lunch lady?

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YOU'RE a lunch lady!

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Whoa! Whoa-ha-he!

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KIDS SCREAM

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OK.

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More pudding, kidniks? You want?

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Ha-ha-ha-ha!

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Ahhh!

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So, you seem to know that nice young janitor man.

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Golly Gee Kid? Sure!

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He's my friend.

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Ah, is good! He's friendly.

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Maybe you help him be

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friend with Katya?

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You have dance,

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Sidekicks by the Sea?

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I, uh...how you say...

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chaperone with him?

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You ask for me?

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You're asking him for romantic advice?

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Him?! A-ha-ha-ha!

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Hey!

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I'm so positive this isn't going to happen that if you get

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Katya and Golly Gee Kid together, I'll have a dance with you.

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SHE GASPS

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ALL GASP

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You heard me!

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Vana?! Dance?! Me?!

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He'll do it!

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Much thanks.

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Not to pretty girl, but to nice weird boy, who help.

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-Hey, Golly Gee Kid.

-Oh!

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Already on the love trail, I see.

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That new lunch lady...

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No! Never heard of lunch!

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Uh, OK. But she wants to...

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Ahh!

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-HE MUMBLES

-Hey, quit hogging!

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He must be scared to talk her.

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We'll have to do this some other way.

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But how...? Hmm...

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Got it! What would Maxum Man do?

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Welcome to sidekick lesson 132 - First Impressions!

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Whether you're fighting a villain or ignoring a fan,

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you only get one chance to make a first impression,

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so dazzle them with your super smile!

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But if you don't have one -

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or ANY positive attributes -

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make a grand gesture!

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Write their name in the sky,

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or have someone good with word...like...things...

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Tell you what to say!

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Or something simple like flowers might do the trick.

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Time to make YOUR first impression, kid!

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On this disgusting Octomorg!

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HE ROARS

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It's working!

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Ow!

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-No, it's not!

-Graaahhh!

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Now, that's a match made in heaven!

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Ain't love grand?

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But, I can't talk to his face!

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I have had love for him for so many years ago.

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We'll help you talk to him - we're great with word...like...things...

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And we watched a video, so what could go wrong?

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DRAMATIC ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS

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Oh! Is this a bad time for organ practice?

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Take these flowers and wear this earpiece. We'll tell you what to say.

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There he is - go ask him now!

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Don't forget to smile,

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wink and say exactly what I say.

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Ah-hr-hem!

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Hi, Golly Gee Kid!

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Ah-hr-hem!

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Hi, Golly Gee Kid!

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Um, what now?

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Talk about how many eggs you can eat without puking!

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Talk about how many eggs you can eat without puking!

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No, tell him what...

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..a good mopper of vomit he is!

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Egg puking!

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Vomit mopping!

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Egg puking!

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Vomit mopping!

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Ahh!

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Wha-wha-wha-wha!

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Hey! Get me out! Get me out!

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-Ahh!

-Ahh!

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SHE SIGHS

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Nom-nom-nom. Mmm!

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THE COOKIE CREATURE GIGGLES

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I could have been dancing with Vana,

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and all we had to do was get Katya and Golly Gee Kid together.

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Dude, we couldn't even really get them near each other.

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I saw that!

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Well, I'm not giving up yet.

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Trevor, do you think you can make a big...

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CRASH

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..mess?

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Way ahead of you, dude.

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THE COOKIES CHEER

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Aw...

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Huh?!

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Gah!

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Oh!

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I did it! I got you two together!

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See, you don't have to be

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afraid of her because she's pretty.

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What have you done?!

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I'm not afraid of her because she's pretty,

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I'm afraid of her because she's really

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a shapeshifting Octomorg!

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So THAT'S why you didn't want to go out with her!

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Makes sense. My bad.

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Grrrooarrr!

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-Grrrooarrr!

-Ahh!

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Oh! Ow! Argh!

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Didn't see that coming.

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I guess we should rescue him.

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Still, pretty good dance, right?

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Delish!

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-Fo' sho'!

-Oh, yeah!

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SHE PURRS

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HE WHIMPERS

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Don't worry, Golly Gee! We'll save you!

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Grrroooaarrr!

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Argh!

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Ow!

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Couldn't you save me in a less painful way?

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Let him go, you previously really attractive monster!

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Gah-ha!

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Oof!

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OK, I've had enough!

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Take this!

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Wrong button, wrong button!

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Oooowwww...

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Look!

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Grroooaarrr!

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I mean, right button, right button!

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Save me!

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Oh, my.

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Ahh!

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Ahh!!!

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CRASH

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Ah!

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Huh?

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She wasn't trying to eat me,

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she was trying to save me!

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You're right!

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"The Octomorg is a shapeshifter that only turns into its hideous form

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"when it's in love!" Aw!

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If only it was that easy to know when someone loved you.

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Yeah. Good luck with that.

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If only.

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CRASH HE SCREAMS

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Oh, Vana?

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Katya may have turned out to be a hideous monster,

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and I nearly destroyed the school and endangered many, many lives -

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but I DID get them together, so...

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About that dance?

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Fine! You're right, you earned a dance.

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Yes!

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But I never said which dance.

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Look me up at our 40-year reunion.

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Wait, make it 60.

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Harsh, dude.

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Can you believe it?

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I'm going to dance with Vana! Ha-ha!

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