Insane in the Cranial Sidekick


Insane in the Cranial

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# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to Sidekick School

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# Learning to be second best while playing by the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing Now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing stuff and looking super cool

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# I'm a sidekick, sidekick - that's the life for me

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# Half-sized super zeros with full-sized super dreams

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# Sidekick, sidekick What an awesome gig!

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# Just like superheroes Just like superzeros

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# But only half as big! Sidekick! #

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HE CACKLES

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You are mine!

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THEY GASP

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And that's how a sidekick uses a passing storm front

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to add drama to his, or her, grand entrance.

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Furthermore, we must endeavour to continue...

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Check it out!

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Look who got invited to join the Cranials.

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Awesome, huh?

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The Cranials?

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You?

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You have no clue what the Cranials even are, do you?

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Yes.

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I do not.

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Eric, the Cranials are the most secret, exclusive club in school.

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Just because you're invited, doesn't mean you're in.

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You have to pass their ancient tests first.

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Tests?

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They're supposed to be really hard and humiliating.

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Even Pamplemoose didn't make it.

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All done, Master Cranial, sir.

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SCRUBBING

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Does it please you?

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BUZZER

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HE SHOUTS

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He's never gotten over it.

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HE SNIGGERS

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Stop looking at me!

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WHIRRING

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It's been said that if you do get in,

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you get tonnes of super-awesome privileges!

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WATER FLOWS

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SLURPING

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GLISSANDO

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WHIRRING

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GULPING

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CLICKING

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CACKLING Agh!

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CHILDREN SHOUT

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WHIRRING

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Wah!

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SPLAT

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CHEWING

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WHIRRING

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Whoa!

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The Cranials do live the good life.

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But, if the club's so secret, how do you all know about it?

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Hey!

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There's nothing written on my invitation!

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OK.

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So I guess this secret map will lead us right to the Cranial clubhouse.

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You ready? ALL: Ready!

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TUMBLING

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CHEWING

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OOZING

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SNORING

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Whoa! CRASHING

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THEY GROAN

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We made it!

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Wow, that map was unnecessarily complicated.

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CLANGING

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DOOR BANGS

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Who dares enter into the sacred sanctum of the Cranials?

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You sure this is the right place?

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CLICKING, GRAND MUSIC

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SCARY MUSIC

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M-m-mayyybe.

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Cranial initiants!

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Are you prepared to join this most ancient society?

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Please answer in chant form.

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THEY CHANT: Yaaaah-huuuh!

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Now...

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face your initiator!

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PING

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ALL: Allan Amazing?

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IN SPANISH ACCENT: Who else to head up the most exclusive club

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in the universe?

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I am the master Cranial

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and I have chosen you to compete

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for the only remaining spot in the club.

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The winner will be awarded the membership

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and the ancient Cranial ring!

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ALL: Oooh! Ahh!

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Oh!

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Hello, students.

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Your algebra is almost done, Master Cranial and...

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Ooh!

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MUFFLED: Wait! No! Let me out!

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I want in! Oh, how I do want in!

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Let the tests begin!

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THUDDING

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THEY SCREAM

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SPLASHING

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Sorry, guys. Nothing personal, but...

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that ring is mine!

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THEY SCREAM

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Really, Vana? THEY STRUGGLE

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Selling out your friends?

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If there can only be one winner, it's always going to be me.

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THEY STRUGGLE

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CHOMPING

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MUFFLED: So, got a deck of cards, or something?

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PPFFFT!

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TREVOR LAUGHS

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CROCODILE RETCHES, WHOOSHING

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CRASHING

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You want to play dirty?

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That's the only way I play.

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Bring it on.

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And, by "it", I mean some moist towelettes.

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This is going to be so easy.

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STRETCHING

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Closest to the bull's-eye wins this event.

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Three, two, one! Fire!

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Agh!

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Oof!

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I did it! I won the round!

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I... THEY SCREAM

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THEY GROAN

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CREAKING Uh-oh!

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CRASHING

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Next event!

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The one who stays on the robobull longest...

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wins!

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Ready? Go!

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WHIRRING

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WHOOSHING

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CRASHING AND GROANING

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It's down to the final and most ancient

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of all Cranial tests.

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Prepare yourselves.

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SQUEAKING

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CLANGING

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HE GASPS

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I'm prepared for everything, Master Cranial, sir.

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Cheese?

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Oh, yes. Thank you.

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CHOMPING Mm.

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Mm. I've been watching you, Eric. HE CHUCKLES

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You know, you deserve this membership.

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HE GASPS

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CHEWING Mm.

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During the final test, I'll give you a signal.

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Use this and you will win.

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THEY CACKLE

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MOUSE CACKLES

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STOMACH RUMBLES

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Eugh! Right.

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I'm lactose intolerant. STOMACH GURGLES

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MOUSE SCREAMS

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Ew.

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With the scores all tied at...

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er...0,

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the winner of this final event becomes the newest Cranial.

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And to honour the Cranial traditions,

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you will play our most cherished game -

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Red Rover!

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FANFARE

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Obot?

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WHIRRING

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Last chance, Needles!

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Quit, or I take you down!

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I wouldn't be so sure of that, Vana.

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I didn't miss hours of studying to lose to you!

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Please don't be mad.

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ALARM SOUNDS, TREVOR GASPS

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Erm...

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RUN!

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THEY SCREAM

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WHIRRING

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Time to make this really amazing.

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This is the signal!

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SCREECHING That's the signal!

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Prepare to eat my dust er...

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my good friends!

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TREVOR CLEARS HIS THROAT Huh?

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VANA CLEARS HER THROAT Huh?

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We all have one.

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But how?

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THEY GROWL

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WHIRRING

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Agh!

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HE SCREAMS IN PAIN

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HE SHRIEKS

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SHE SCREAMS

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OOZING

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Wah!

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Oof! Eugh!

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HE CACKLES

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THEY SHOUT

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Ah, man. I always knew I would end up as a human pinata.

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Ow! HE SHOUTS

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Dibs on the candy that falls out of me when I break open.

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HE GRUNTS

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THEY MOAN Oh!

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HE CACKLES

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That was amazing!

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So... THEY GROAN

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Did I win, or what?

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HE CACKLES

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No, you fool!

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I made it up to humiliate you. All of it!

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THEY GROWL

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I'm not a Master Cranial.

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I'm not even a regular Cranial.

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In fact, Cranials don't even exist!

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What about that stuff at school?

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The limo? The water fountain?

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The Pamplemoose doing homework?

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Well, it was expensive and time-consuming to fake,

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but worth it. I set it all up!

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Except for Pamplemoose, he just really wants into that club.

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WHIRRING You mean this was all a lie?

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Yes. And did you do my laundry?

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How dare you betray me!

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And, yes, of course.

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Ha! A secret club!

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That's just crazy ta... WHIRRING

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THEY SCREAM

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HE GASPS

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You are charged with impersonating a member

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of the secret and ancient e-vile society of the Cranials!

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Fellow members, what say you?

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Hmm... Oh! Huh?

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It's a rhetorical question!

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Oh, forget it! Just get him.

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HE GASPS

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No!

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HE CRIES

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THEY SHOUT I run!

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So the legendary Cranials are really a bunch of evil super villains?

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Awesome!

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Yes. And we have no room for...

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..good guys. HE CACKLES

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Toodles.

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WHIRRING

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Sorry I betrayed all of you just get into some club.

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Yeah, we really let that get out of hand.

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Whatever! Don't think I won't do it again.

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Hey, where's Trevor?

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GLISSANDO

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Welcome to the club.

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SLURPING

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HE CRIES

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Let me in!

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THEY SNIGGER

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HE SHOUTS

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THEY CACKLE

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