Fortress of Maxumtud Sidekick

# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to Sidekick School

# Learning to be second best while playing by the rules

# Maxum Man is missing Now we rule the school

# Flying, smashing, bashing stuff and looking super cool

# I'm a sidekick, sidekick - that's the life for me

# Half-sized super zeros with full-sized super dreams

# Sidekick, sidekick What an awesome gig!

# Just like superheroes Just like superzeros

# But only half as big! Sidekick! #

CACKLING

-Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

-Argh!

Eric?!

Wa-aa-aa-aah-ha-ha!

Buddy!

Oops.

Whoa-aa!

Ha-ha! Now to finish...

-BOTH:

-Whoa!

Trespassers, prepare to be destroyed.

Oh, it's you. Um, hi.

Mr Troublemeyer, what's with all this Maxum Man stuff?

Er, art project?

RINGING

Eric, I am detecting an intruder alert and it is not the mansion.

It is at the Fortress of Maxumtude.

THEY GASP

I've been searching for that secret lair for years.

-Maybe that's where Maxum Man's been since he went missing!

-What?

-What?

-What?

-What?

-What?

-What?

-What?

-What?

Stop saying what and let's go.

I think I remember Pamplemoose showing us a news story

-about the fortress at school.

-First stop, the school.

Yes, but more importantly...

-shotgun!

-No way! Guests get shotgun.

Soon the Fortress of Maxumtude

will be turned into the Fortress of Trashitude!

Hee-hee-hee-hee-ha-ha!

-I thought we said no hair pulling?

-You were the one who hair pulled.

Ha-ha, oh, yeah.

Oh, that's right.

The school is closed for the weekend, what a disappointment.

Tsk-tsk-tsk. Oh, well, better just turn around and head home, then.

-BOTH:

-Aa-aa-aah!

Whoopsie, guess that wasn't the cruise control. Ha-ha.

No harm in checking out the first clue while we're here,

right, boys?

Welcome to the Lifestyles Of The Super And Fabulous.

When your favourite hero is all supered out,

it's time for a super-vacation. Right, Maxum Man?

That's right, anonymous voice.

But you won't find this superhero at just any vacation spot.

I relax in the isolated splendour of my Fortress of Maxumtude.

It sounds great, Maxum Man. Can I come?

Ha-ha-ha, of course not, Golly Gee Kid.

The location of the Fortress of Maxumtude is super top-secret

and if you found out, well, something might happen to you.

You don't want anything to happen to you, now, do you, Golly Gee Kid?

-I sure don't.

-I should think not. Toodles.

Well, that was no help.

ALARM BLARES

THEY GASP

Eric, Trevor, and Trevor's father, for some weird reason,

what are you doing here?

Um, we're trying to find the Fortress of Maxumtude.

Oh! Ze fortress? What is your interest in the fortress?

What do you know?

Who have you talked to? Tell me everything, you little...

He-he-he... Oops! My bad.

After watching this news reel nine million times

I've been able to discern only one clue.

-Toodles.

-This bumper sticker.

I believe if we crack this code, we crack the secret

of the fortress.

That's great! Thanks for the clue, Professor.

-Let's go.

-Um, yeah, about that.

CRASH!

-BOTH:

-Whoa!

-Argh!

That takes care of him.

I mean, um...oh, my.

Who would leave such a dangerous thing lying around?

Mee-oo-oo-w!

Now we need to crack the bumper sticker code.

And I know just the person who likes to crack stuff.

Hi-yah!

Oh, Vana.

Can you crack this code for me?

Of course I can. Kitty, do stuff.

It's a set of coordinates. We can plot the location on a map.

Oh, right! Now we know where the Fortress of Maxumtude is!

KITTY GASPS

-Whoops!

-Maxum Man's legendary oasis!

KITTY, PACK OUR BAGS!

You, um, can't come.

-We're not coming with you.

-Phew.

We're going to beat you there!

HE GASPS

We're getting really close. Also, I don't know how to read a map.

Actually, we are pretty close. Nothing can stop us now.

CRASH!

Someone's trying to stop us.

-VANA:

-Give it up, boys. Eat lipstick.

I'll save you a spot by the fire

after we beat you to the fortress, Needles.

Trevor, it's spitball time.

Isn't it always?

Look out!

Waa-whoa-waa!

CACKLING

Pamplemoose, I thought I was done with you.

Sorry, Pampy,

the only place you'll be going is the Fortress of Smashitude.

Hee-hee-ha-ha!

Feel the wrath of the Pamplemoosedan.

-And it gets great mileage.

-He can't get there before us.

I have to use the bathroom.

Don't worry, I'll just give him a little nudge

to show him it's not nice to sneak up on people.

Aaargh!

That won't hurt him, will it?

Of course not.

It won't even scratch his paint. Much.

-KITTY:

-Look out! Wa-whoa-wa!

THEY SCREAM

Argh!

Hgn-yah. He-he-ha-ha!

Doh!

Argh!

Wa-aa-aa-aa!

Hee-hee-ha-ha! Hee-hee-ha-ha!

What?!

Oh, look, we're here.

These are the coordinates. Where's the fortress?

There must be a secret entrance hidden somewhere.

-VANA:

-And if anyone's going to find it it's going to be me.

-Aah!

-Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Move it, Kitty.

HE STRAINS

Only my years of research will reveal the fortress's location.

-Hah! I knew it.

-Yeah, way to go, Dad.

Oh-ho-ho! Oh, looky there, Wedger.

THEY GASP

-Cool!

-Wow!

-Whoa!

-Ja.

Eat dust, suckers!

HE CACKLES

Hello? Son, anybody?

Ow!

I know you can't see this, but I'm shaking it anyway.

That shack's got to be the secret entrance to the fortress.

Too bad you won't get to see it. Hah!

Uh-oh.

-Hey!

-We all deserve to bask in its glory.

But mostly me.

-Gah!

-GRUNTING

Someone has to give in.

ALARM BLARES

THEY GASP

Mwah-ha-ha-ha!

Maxum Man, watch as I turn your precious Fortress of Maxumtude

into the Fortress of Ashitude!

Oh, baby, I am so on a roll today.

It's just a grungy old cabin!

What?!

Um, what was that, Eric?

-VANA:

-I can't believe this rotten shack is the Fortress of Maxumtude.

Gah!

Who would want to break into this? And what set off the alarm?

BEEPING

Oh, man. I thought I was finally going to see Maxum Man.

THEY GASP

-I mean, today. ALL:

-Ah!

Well, I think after all that fighting and violence

and competitiveness, the real lesson to be learnt here today is...

SHOTGUN!

-You wish.

-Oh, like you're beating us home.

-Kitty.

-Oh.

-Run!

Last one home is a schnitzelflugen.

All that for nothing?

You will pay for this, Maxum Man. You will pay.

-Come on, Dad! Hurry up.

-Coming, son.