Eric Amazing Sidekick


Eric Amazing

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# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to Sidekick School

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# Learning to be second best while playing by the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing Now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing stuff and looking super cool

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# I'm a sidekick, sidekick - that's the life for me

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# Half-sized super zeros with full-sized super dreams

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# Sidekick, sidekick What an awesome gig!

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# Just like superheroes Just like superzeros

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# But only half as big! Sidekick! #

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CROWD TALKS

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Man, the Cool Hallway's just so...

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Erm, other word that means "cool".

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I got your Cool Hallway pass.

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Nice.

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SLURPING

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CHATTERING

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He-hey!

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Way too cute.

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Time to party!

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THEY GIGGLE

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Yo, Vana! What's happening, erm...yo?

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THEY GIGGLE

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Ha-ha. Yeah, laughing and stuff.

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Pretty cool, just like me.

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Allan!

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Hello, Vana!

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I caught you out of the corner of my eye.

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I'm so perceptive.

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Vana? Hey, Vana?

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Vana? Vana?

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Vana? CLANGING

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Your beauty today almost rivals that of mine.

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-HE CLICKS HIS TEETH

-Mwah!

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VANA LAUGHS

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-Oh, Allan!

-SHE GIGGLES

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Barf!

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So...anyway...

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CLANGING Oof! Agh!

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Allan, perfect score on your test again.

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Amazing!

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ERIC GROWLS

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Sidekicks!

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Prepare to meet your doom!

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Oh! Allan Amazing!

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Because you are here and so amazing,

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I will spare everyone.

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CHEERING

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What?

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-Except him.

-GUN WHIRS

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Allan Amazing, I present to you this solid plutonium key to the city

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for being such an amazing guy

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and for no other reason.

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Seriously?

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Oh, come on!

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Is this cloud raining poop?

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Allan got my robot rain cloud and pooping pigeon working again!

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Isn't he amazing?

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Sorry, Eric.

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Ugh! Why does Allan get to be amazing at everything, while I'm...?

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The opposite of amazing?

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Un-mazing? Non-mazing?

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In-mazing?

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-Stop me when I get it.

-Hm...

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But what if I was amazing?

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HE CLICKS HIS TEETH

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HE TALKS TO HIMSELF

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TREVOR WHEEZES

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Erm...wow, Eric!

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That hat, which you didn't get from the evil gadget vault

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and doesn't suck brains,

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looks aaa-mazing on your head.

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Amazing on Eric's head?

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Ha! See what real amazingness looks like.

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Ha!

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So beautiful.

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Not for long!

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WHIRRING AND CRACKLING

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-IN ALLAN'S VOICE:

-Er, as I was saying, erm...

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What was I saying?

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IN ERIC'S VOICE: Hey! It worked!

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Wait a minute. Why is my body over there?

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I look amazing!

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SQUEAKING And feel amazing!

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MIMICKING ALLAN: And smell amazing!

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HE SCREAMS

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What have you done to my amazing-osity?

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And why is there hair growing out of my ear?

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I don't know what you mean...Eric!

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Eric? I'm Allan! Allan Amazing!

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Sure you are.

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-HE LAUGHS

-Got to go!

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Hey, Eric. Or Allan.

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Or...whatever.

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Want me to take care of those ear hairs for you?

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Agh!

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We can do your nose hairs, too!

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Hi, Allan.

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IN ERIC'S VOICE: Wow. You're swooning over me.

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Er, I mean...

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IN ALLAN'S VOICE: You always swoon over me.

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That's because I'm Allan Amazing.

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I'm not Eric in Allan's body, or anything.

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HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

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Wow!

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You sounded just like Eric would sound

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if he was inside your body.

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Great impression.

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APPLAUSE

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Just fantastic!

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WHIRRING

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Another fail for Mr Needles.

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WHIRRING

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Ooh, another super, amazing, better than perfect score for Mr Amazing!

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-IN ALLAN'S VOICE:

-But Eric switched brains with me! I'm really Allan!

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Nein! This is detention for you!

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Hew!

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HE CACKLES

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I can't believe you got stasis detention and I didn't!

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-CROWD OOHS BOTH:

-Huh?

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WHISTLING AND CHEERING

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-SHE GASPS

-Hi, Allan!

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SHE GIGGLES

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-HE CRIES

-I'm Allan!

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Er...

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you mean you guys don't want to pummel me?

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What do you mean pummel you?

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Oh, wait. Are you still doing your Eric impression?

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HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

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MIMICKING ALLAN: I know! Even I am amazed at how amazing I am.

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GIRLS SIGH

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It all started when I turned one.

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I, er, spoke my first word -

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"amazing".

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That's amazing, Allan.

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I learned to walk the next day

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and the day after, I...

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composed my first symphony.

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Can you play it for us?

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WHIRRING

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HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

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DRAMATIC MUSIC

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CHEERING

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Phew!

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DIALLING TONE

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-What?

-Trevor, it's me. You've got to help me.

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Allan Amazing's calling my house?

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Wicked!

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Trevor, it's Eric! In Allan's body! Remember?

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I have to go plan what I'm going to say to you

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if you ever call again. Goodbye.

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DISCONNECT TONE

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HE SIGHS Who else can I call?

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He doesn't have any friends in here.

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Only hairdressers.

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Well, maybe things will look better in the morning.

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HE SIGHS

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ALARM BUZZES

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HE SHOUTS

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HE CLAPS

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HE GASPS Two in the morning?

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ALARM CONTINUES TO BUZZ

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No snooze button?

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This is not amazing!

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How am I supposed to look amazing now?

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HE SHOUTS

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HE GROANS, WHIRRING

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Agh!

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HE SHOUTS

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WHIRRING

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CLANGING Agh!

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SQUEAKING

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The amaz-ification process is now complete.

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Oh! That's how.

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BEEPING AND ZAPPING

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CRASHING

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You blasted my butt again, dude!

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How come you're so amazing all of a sudden?

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Ay ay ay! For the 7000th time, I'm Allan amazing,

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trapped in Eric's body!

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Riiight.

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Another game, Eric?

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-HE SIGHS

-No matter how good I am,

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people still think I'm Eric!

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I might as well stop trying to be amazing.

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Wait!

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As Eric, I don't have to try.

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I don't have to be amazing anymore.

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STRAINING

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POPPING

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PANTING

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You've got to take your old life back! No hard feelings, k?

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Er...no, thanks.

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Great. Just put on this hel...

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Wha?!

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Being you is great!

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I'm a total loser at everything and nobody cares.

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I have friends, because nobody's threatened

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by my awesome amazingness!

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And I only have to shower once a month, you know?

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That does sound great!

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Trevor, he just described you, too.

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He did?

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Yes!

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CRASHING

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You don't have any real friends!

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You have to actually try to do things and be amazing at them!

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Give me my life back! Gah!

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-THEY STRUGGLE

-You...

-That does it! Gah! Hi-yah!

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THEY STRUGGLE

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ALLAN GROANS

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SCREECHING

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PINGING

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Ha! Now you can't get them, because you're not Eric anymore!

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SCREECHING

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Entry denied.

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Maxum Brain, let me in!

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Ooh! Mr Amazing, sir. It is so amazing to be seeing you.

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But I'm sorry. I can't help you.

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Agh! Madre!

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HE SHOUTS IN SPANISH

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CROWD OOHS

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CROWD AAHS

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Hey, Allan! Looking amazing.

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I might look amazing, but I'm not.

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But, Allan, you could never not be amazing.

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Oh, really? Well, is this amazing?

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SCRATCHING, TEARING

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Or this?

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HE MAKES MONKEY NOISES

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Look at me! I'm Allan and I'm disgusting.

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SQUEAKING

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Ew, gross.

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What's he doing?

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-SQUELCHING

-Huh?

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No idea, dude.

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He's going to ruin me!

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Allan, how could you betray me?

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You failed!

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And I want the key to the city back!

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RATTLING

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How about that?

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I am Eric. Hear me roar!

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Erm...

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HE ROARS FEEBLY

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The only thing worse than everybody thinking you're amazing

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is them NOT thinking I'm amazing!

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Well, that and being spied on by Kitty all the time.

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HE SIGHS

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WHIRRING AND GIGGLING

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Let's do this!

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WHIRRING AND CRACKLING

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I'm me again! Yes!

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HE BURPS AND FARTS

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And I am me again!

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And it is...

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HE ROARS

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..amazing!

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CHEERING

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No respect, no expectations, no sense of personal hygiene.

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It's great to be me.

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