Sidekicks Rule Sidekick


Sidekicks Rule

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# We are Splitsboro kids And we go to Sidekick School

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# Learning to be second best While playing by the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing Now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing stuff And looking super cool!

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# I'm a Sidekick! Sidekick! That's the life for me

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# Half-sized super zeros With full-sized super dreams!

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# I'm a Sidekick! Sidekick! What an awesome gig

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# Just like super heroes Just like super zeros

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# But only half as big! SIDEKICK! #

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Hi, I'm Maxum Man.

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When I need stuff done, which is almost always,

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I use my handy-dandy sidekick.

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ARGH!

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-A-A-A-RGH!

-For discombobulating monsters,

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smell-testing super underwear,

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and, my favourite, throwing out evil-doers.

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Plus there are dozens of other bone-crushing but practical uses.

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As a footrest.

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Smell it.

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Remember, sidekicks, it's your job to serve your super.

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Get creative, think of the many painful ways your super can use you,

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because if you don't,

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WE will.

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Hee-hee. Heh-heh-heh-heh.

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Creative? More like degrative.

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This is ridiculous.

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The supers treat us like, like...

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pooper scoopers.

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Poop scooping. Yah, excellent, Eric. Very good.

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Degrading also works.

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They said poop twice

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and it's not even noon yet.

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It's going to be a good day.

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We shouldn't accept this!

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We deserve better!

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We should demand safer working conditions,

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better uniforms.

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-Yeah. That works, yeah.

-I love you, Eric.

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Murmur, murmur and agreement.

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And candy!

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I mean, would it kill them to throw us a treat once in a while?

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We sidekicks deserve respect from the supers

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and, until we get it, I say...

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We strike! Who's with me?

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CRICKET CHIRPS

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-CLAPPING ALL:

-Huh?

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I'm with you, Eric.

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Sidekicks deserve better.

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Strike!

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Down with supers!

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Power to the puny sidekicks!

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Strike! Strike!

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-ALL:

-Strike! Strike!

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Strike! Strike!

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Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike!

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Strike! Strike!

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Wait.

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Before I storm off in what I assume is triumph,

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why are these supers here?

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For Sidekick Day, of course.

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Yoo hoo-hoo.

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CHEERING

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I LOVE Sidekick Day!

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Me too! Almost as much as Eric. I mean, yay, Sidekick Day!

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-Almost.

-So close.

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Once again, at the risk of appearing naive and slow-witted, I must ask,

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what's Sidekick Day?

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On Sidekick Day, sidekicks rule like supers

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and supers act as their sidekicks.

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Our very own sidekicks?

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Awesome. Hn-hn.

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Hn-hn-hn-ha-ha!

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-GULP!

-Mahoy-hee.

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NEIGHING THEY GASP

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What's wrong with you guys? It's Sidekick Day.

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Why are you walking when your supers could give you a ride?

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-Yeah!

-Woo-hoo!

-Hey-hey! Ha!

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Eric, there's a wall up ahead!

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Jump!

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Ooh! Ugg!

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Ow! Wah!

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-Eww.

-Whoa.

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Now that's travelling in style.

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-Super style.

-I was born to be super.

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I wonder if we get new sidekicks if we break these ones.

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Argh!

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-Ow... Naugh.

-Grrrr.

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BEEPING

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-Hurry, Kitty!

-I'm trying!

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It's delicate work!

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Tell me about it!

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Ouch! Oh! A-ha!

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BEEPING CONTINUES

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LOUDER BEEPING

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-EVEN LOUDER BEEPING

-A-A-ARGH!

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It's too late!

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No, it's not.

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Sidekicks.

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THEY ALL GASP

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-BOOM!

-Wa-a-argh!

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Why blow yourself up when your sidekicks can take the hit?

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-Yep.

-Uh-huh.

-Totally.

-Oh, yeah.

-Absolutely.

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You really took the heat there, sidekick.

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Thanks.

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Now clean up this mess.

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Buy yourself something frilly.

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CRASH! ZAP!

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GLASS SHATTERS

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Why eat a bad lunch

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when your super can cook for you?

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Why be bored when your super can entertain you?

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ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!

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Why maintain personal hygiene when your super can do it for you?

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Moh hoh-hoh-hoh!

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O-o-oh!

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That's it!

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We're sick of being used and abused!

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You children are horrible!

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Erm, yeah, about that attitude...

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See, it's Sidekick Day

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and that means WE'RE the supers.

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Cool it, dude.

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..and you're...

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the sidekicks.

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KNUCKLES CRACK And what WE say goes.

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Ooh, you like being a super, do you?

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O-o-oh, yeah. WHIP CRACKS

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Then you got it because WE quit!

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As sidekicks, as supers, forever!

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Whoa! Ow!

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DING! DING!

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What's with the glares

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and Vana's cool but somewhat scary boots?

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The person who ruined Sidekick Day

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is about to get his butt kicked!

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I didn't ruin Sidekick Day.

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I-I made it better.

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Today was awesome.

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-Hmm.

-Hmm.

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And who says it has to be for only one day?

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If the supers quit, then we can have their jobs full-time!

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I could get used to being a hero.

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I mean, I already push people around.

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She really does.

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HA! Oof.

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Butt-kicking postponed.

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Then let the super-ing begin!

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PARP!

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Make it stop.

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Make this super-ing stop.

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Eugh. We need the REAL supers back

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and we need them back now.

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No, I won't go back to being a lowly sidekick.

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What do we need real supers for any...?

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WAVES CRASH

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KITTY COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS

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Well, Awful Guy used to control Splitsboro's water.

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And without Captain Gravitron,

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there's no gravity!

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I think I'm going to hurl.

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And without Static Clint, there's no electricity.

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I hate the dark, Eric.

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Kitty, find my butt-kicking boots.

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Eric, keep talking so I know where to aim.

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OK, fine. Eugh.

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I'll get the supers back.

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Oops. That's a cow's nose.

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I hope... MOO!

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It was hard work,

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but power and gravity are back online.

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KITTY PANTS

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Great job, Vana!

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Yeah, yeah, Kitty, less chat, more scurry.

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A-A-ARGH!

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So, what's this plan again?

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It's simple, really.

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Supers HAVE to respond to danger -

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it's part of their hero DNA.

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So if I dress up as a damsel in distress

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and put myself in danger,

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then the supers will HAVE to come back to work and save me.

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Ha-ha! Genius!

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Whatever.

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You just want to wear the dress.

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-Heh-heh.

-A-ha!

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Busted.

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Nevertheless,

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here we go! Let Operation Save Me begin!

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Hn-hn-hn-hn-hn-hn.

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BEEPING

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HIGH-PITCHED: HE-E-E-ELP!

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HE-E-E-ELP!

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So much danger,

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what hero can possibly resist rescuing me?

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GA-A-AH!

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Oh, no, a damsel in distress!

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Don't worry, miss, I'll save you!

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O-o-oh, it's you.

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Thanks for saving me, Mayor.

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Hm!

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No, this is just a trick!

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We're not Splitsboro supers any more!

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But we needed you

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and supers HAVE to respond to danger.

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What? Um, eh-eh-eh, no-no, we don't. Heh-heh-heh.

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Oh, really? Well, what if I was in MORE danger?

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Vana, Trevor, more danger. More danger!

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Help me! Help me!

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SNAKE HISSES Really, HELP ME!

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He's bluffing!

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Agh!

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So not bluffing.

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Augh!

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BEEPING

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Must...help...an attractive damsel.

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We'll help you on one condition -

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cancel Sidekick Day!

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-What?!

-What?!

-What?!

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WHOA! WHOA WHOA-WHOA-WHOA!

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Blargh.

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BEEPING

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OK. Maybe.

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Sign here, here and here,

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initial here.

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But I've been signing for two hours!

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Is there anything else?

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-DNA samples here!

-ACK!

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Eh, your attention please! Eh-heh.

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Sidekick Day

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has been officially cancelled

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for ever!

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-No!

-Boo!

-No!

-N-o-o!

-CROWD CHEERS

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But, in its place,

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the town of Splitsboro is proud to announce

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the creation of a new holiday -

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Kick Eric's Butt Day.

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