Iron Side Chef Sidekick


Iron Side Chef

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# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to Sidekick School

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# Learning to be second best while playing by the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing

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# Now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing, stomping, looking super cool

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# I'm a sidekick, sidekick - that's the life for me

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# Half-sized super zeros with full-sized super dreams

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# Sidekick, sidekick What an awesome gig!

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# Just like superheroes

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# Just like superzeros

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# But only half as big

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# Sidekick! #

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I came to Sidekick Academy to be a crime fighter,

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not a grime fighter.

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ERIC LAUGHS Oh, that's funny.

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-Really?

-Wha...?

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Hee-yah!

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ALL: Oooh!

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BOTH: Ah...

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Still think Home Ec is boring?

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BOTH: Home Ec is the best thing ever!

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I am Madame Super Chef, the greatest cook in the universe.

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This is going to be so good!

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I am here to turn you worthless sidekicks into sidecooks.

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I'm listening.

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Your first task, take a random ingredient

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and create a dish fit for a super.

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And like all sidecooks you must think fast.

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-Ouch!

-Lettuce.

-Huh? Huh?

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And because your super could become hungry at any time,

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you must be prepared to cook under hostile conditions.

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Like while being blasted with hot pepper.

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EVERYONE SCREAMS

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HE BELCHES HE SCREAMS

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Make it stop, make it stop!

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Yum!

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Cook! Why won't you... cook? Ah!

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HE CRIES

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Show me.

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-What is this?

-Raw potato and salt.

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Salt from my own tears of failure.

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SHE CRIES

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It was supposed to be ice cream.

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I guess I cooked it too long.

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-Oh.

-It's a toe-jam sandwich.

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Ugh, disgusting! But the best so far.

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And you? How have you failed me?

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SHE BELCHES

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A simple green salad vinaigrette flavoured with...

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the very pepper spray I blasted you with?

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It's inspired, it's delicious, this boy is a genius!

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CHEERING

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Class dismissed.

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I want to make sure that today's cooking class wasn't a fluke,

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so I made you some Parmesan truffle-infused nachos.

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THEY MUNCH GREEDILY

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'I hate to say it, but these are the best nachos ever.'

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And I mean that, I really hate to say it.

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It's the best slop I've ever thrown in my feed-hole.

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-You should open up your own foodie-eatie place.

-A restaurant?

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-No, thanks, I just ate.

-You should, Eric.

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-You have a real natural talent for cooking.

-Ta-lent?

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It means you're actually good at something for once.

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Imagine me actually being good at something, for once!

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'Maybe I should open my own restaurant.'

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Ah!

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CRYING

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DRAGON SCREECHES

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CLUB MUSIC BOOMS

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I can't believe it. Everyone who's anyone in Splitsboro is here.

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-You're too kind, Needles. Table for one.

-Hey!

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Whoa-whoa, whoa. Sorry, ladies, you have

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to wait in line like everybody else.

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Or you can always go...

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HE STIFLES LAUGHTER

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-..across the street.

-HE GIGGLES

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MADAME GROWLS

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Madame must be so excited that my new

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and unbelievably popular restaurant is

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right across the street from her restaurant.

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She'll be able to watch me all the time and be super proud.

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Ha-ha. Yoo-hoo! Hi, Madame!

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KETTLE BOILS TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS

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Ah, here she comes now.

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SNORTS

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Erm, something wrong, Madame?

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-SHE GRUNTS IN FRUSTRATION

-Challenge!

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HAT PINGS EVERYONE GASPS

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-Not the hat of challenge!

-That's right.

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Your eatery is an insult to me and my reputation as a super chef.

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-But I thought you'd be proud of me.

-Proud?

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That one of my puny sidekick students is stealing my glory?

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There is only one way to settle this.

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Thumb war? Rock-paper-scissors?

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-Treaty of Versailles?

-I challenge you to a cook off.

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The loser never cooks again.

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You're on.

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Welcome to Sidekick Sidecook Cook Off.

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Two chefs enter, only one chef leaves.

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-SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

-Eric.

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In this kitchen, Eric Needles and his sous chef, Trevor.

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LAUGHTER

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And their competition, the world-renowned

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Madame Super Chef and her sous chef, Savourbot.

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CHEERING

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Each team must prepare a simple bowl of soup

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to be judged by our expert panel.

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-Kitty Ko...

-SHE GIGGLES

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-Master Xox...

-BOOING

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-Oh...

-And Tastebot.

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TASTEBOT BEEPS

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AUDIENCE: Huh?

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OK, OK, I think our primary strategy should be cheating.

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No, I'm actually good at this. For once, I don't need to cheat.

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You've changed, man.

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You find out you have "talent" and suddenly I don't even know you.

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Contestants ready? Let's...

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-sidecook it!

-CHEERING

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-TREVOR SCREAMS

-It looks like...

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Yes, it looks like Eric is taking a bit of a chance

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using fresh T-Rex spit.

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Hey! I need a cup of your goober.

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T-REX SPITS CHEERING

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And to spice up her dish, Madame is using...

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You call that a rainbow tail? Ha!

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-Is it?

-What is wrong with you?

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-Cry-baby.

-Yes, it is! Unicorn tears.

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Oh, yes!

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UNICORN NEIGHS

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Now, get me 1,000 butterfly wings.

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-SAVOURBOT BEEPS

-Just do it!

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I changed my mind. Get me tiger whiskers instead.

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SAVOURBOT BUZZES

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Tiger whiskers? I can't compete with that.

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-That's right, sidekick, you can't compete. Give up.

-Never!

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It looks like Eric is chopping. Yes, he's definitely chopping.

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Ha-ha-ha. You call that chopping?

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Oh, yeah?

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Oh, oui!

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THEY WHIMPER

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-EGG TIMER DINGS

-And that's time.

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EXPLOSION CHEERING

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Behold. MADAME SCREAMS

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Cool.

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Mmm! Complex, zesty, Eric's soup is super.

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CHEERING Whoo-hoo!

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But...

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Madame's soup is super-duper.

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MASTER XOX GIGGLES CHEERING

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-Oh, I...

-Kitty, who did you vote for?

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Eric, I choose Eric.

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Eric, Eric!

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A shocking turn of events. A tie.

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And now it all comes down to Tastebot.

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HE BELCHES

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DRUM ROLL

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What? I like drama.

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And Madame wins it. Eric loses it.

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-Eric loses!

-Whoo! Oh, yeah.

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Oh, yeah. In your face, you.

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-MADAME LAUGHS

-Whoo! Oh. Oh, yeah.

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I can't believe my dream is over. I'll never cook again.

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Your dream isn't over, Eric.

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All you need to become a great chef is years of practice

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and study and dangerous hard work and lots of stitches

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-cos you're going to cut yourself a lot, you see...

-Yup, I'll never

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cook again.

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-So, what's it like actually being good at something?

-Pretty sweet.

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-You're glad to be a talent-free lump again, right?

-Oh, yeah.

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-Want to order a pizza?

-Sure.

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-Yeah, I hear Madame's is good.

-Trevor!

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SCREAMING

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