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Teacher's Pet Sidekick

Teacher's Pet

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Transcript

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# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to Sidekick School

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# Learning to be second best while playing by the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing Now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing stuff and looking super cool

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# I'm a sidekick, sidekick - that's the life for me

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# Half-sized super zeros with full-sized super dreams

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# Sidekick, sidekick What an awesome gig!

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# Just like superheroes Just like superzeros

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# But only half as big! Sidekick! #

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TREVOR HUMS

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Oh, come on!

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-More.

-And by more, I assume you mean all?

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Less talking, more too-much-popcorn adding.

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Hey, kids, have you seen my...?

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Argh!

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Who's to blame for this?!

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Trevor, this just might be your greatest idea yet!

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You flatter me, sir.

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Let there be boing!

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MACHINE BUZZES

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TREVOR WHISTLES

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That's it!

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This is going to stop. Whoa...!

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Right now.

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Hey.

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No whoopie cushion, no whoopie chair.

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HE SNIFFS

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Trevor is missing!

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-No, transferred...

-To another school.

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What?!

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Aloha, my friend.

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Trevor, what's going on?

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Dad says you're a bad influence, so he sent me to a new school.

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But you're the bad influence!

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Not according to my finger, which has a tendency to blame

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people for things they didn't do.

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Bad finger!

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Ah, I could never stay mad at you.

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Anyways, my new school is on a super cool,

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luxurious, full of all-you-can-eat buffets

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cruise ship.

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-Wow!

-Ooh.

-That's so awesome.

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I have to go to the bathroom.

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Um, I have to...go...

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also, bathroom.

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We get all the free lei you can eat.

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And super brain-freezing smoothie.

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THEY SCREAM EXCITEDLY

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Friends shouldn't have to endure

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new schools alone. I'm on my way.

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This contract states Maxum Man's sidekicks must

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complete their education at the Sidekick Academy.

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It took all that paper to say that?

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It's in 1,000-point font, so, yeah.

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I am sidekicking instructor Super Special Ed, ja,

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and the key to learning is to have fun!

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-Ja?

-Fun?

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What is this fun?

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Um, here it is.

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"Fun - amusement or enjoyment."

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We never had fun at our old sidekick school.

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This saddens me, as in boo-boo sad.

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Ew.

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But we will have so much fun that you will burst with the fun, ja?

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-ALL:

-Fun! Fun!

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Ah, yeah!

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-CANNON BOOMS

-Whoo-hoo-hoo!

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Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

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HE GROANS

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HE MUMBLES

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THEY CHEER

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-BANG

-Ha-ha!

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-Hooray!

-Yeah!

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THEY SHOUT EXCITEDLY

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Aaaaaaah.

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Would you like to share my pickle?

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ERIC SCREAMS

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Argh! PAMPLEMOOSE CACKLES

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This is very exciting!

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When I was your age, I never got the chance to sit with the cool kids.

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I know, right? I am fun to be around.

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If you can get past the milk moustaches with acid reflux.

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HE PANTS He is so needy!

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I have to transfer to Trevor's school. Now!

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Eric, where are you, my little BFF?

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Whoa!

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Huh, curse my tiny feet and lack of balance.

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ERIC YELLS

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That was close.

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-Argh!

-There you are!

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I saved you some pickle.

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It barely even touched the toilet.

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Ohh.

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-STUDENTS CHANT HAPPILY

-Best school ever!

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Almost got you. Your turn.

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So close, Herr Needles.

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BELL RINGS

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Huh, I'm out of here!

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Drive, drive, drive!

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Free. At last.

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You must dine with me before the school dance.

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-School dance?

-Yeah, tonight.

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And a little birdie told me

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you're quite the dancer.

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PAMPLEMOOSE LAUGHS

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HELP!

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Welcome to the Sidekick Academy.

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Give me a great cowboy dance.

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OK, this goes out to my partner, Herr Needles.

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No, I'll never dance with you!

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Who said you have a choice? Dance, Herr Needles. Dance.

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PAMPLEMOOSE LAUGHS

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ERIC SHOUTS

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COCK CROWS

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-Okey-dokey. Eric?

-Here.

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-IN A DEEP VOICE:

-Eric?

-Here.

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-IN A HIGH-PITCHED VOICE:

-Eric?

-Still here.

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OK, class. And by class, I mean you.

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Don't touch up to 25.

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How to play decoy for your soup.

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A decoy!

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EVIL LAUGHTER

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I have overhead slides if you'd like to take some...

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Now, main decoy is an important...

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Hmm.

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What is this?!

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No sleep for you!

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Uh-oh.

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Forgive me, Eric.

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All that line dancing last night was quite exhausting.

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You know what, I'm cancelling class so we can go on a field trip

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to the super cape re-hamming museum.

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HE LAUGHS

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Exciting, yeah?

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Whoo-hoo!

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HE SCREAMS

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Hello.

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HE SCREAMS

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THEY CHEER

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BANG

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OK, who's next? We have to keep the fun train rolling.

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-Choo-choo.

-THEY CHEER

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'I am.'

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THEY GASP I'm next.

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Whoo-hoo!

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Ow.

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Ahh.

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Trevor! I missed you, buddy.

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I missed you too, Schmoopy.

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Quick, fire me into the sky. I am craving fun big-time.

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Ha, OK. Get ready to kiss the clouds.

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-For a second thought...

-No second thoughts.

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No second thoughts!

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Trevor, no, don't!

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No!

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Wait here, Eric. I just have

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to see a man about a horse.

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And when I say horse,

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I mean go to the bathroom.

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HE PANTS

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-Uh-oh.

-Who is responsible for this, ja?

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Ruiner!

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I hate you.

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Uh-hm.

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I forgive you for ruining everything.

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And I do not.

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Ed is, for the first time, angry.

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THEY GROAN

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Aloha, class.

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For some reason I have been transferred and

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am now the new headmaster of this school.

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Which is also, for some reason, sinking.

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And you know what that means?

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-Abandon ship?

-Nein!

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Bail, Herr Needles, bail!

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Oh, man.

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-Can I at least go to the bathroom?

-Nein. Again.

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Never mind.

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