Master XOX-Ray Vision Sidekick


Master XOX-Ray Vision

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# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to Sidekick School

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# Learning to be second best while playing by the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing Now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing stuff and looking super cool

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# I'm a sidekick, sidekick - that's the life for me

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# Half-sized super zeros with full-sized super dreams

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# Sidekick, sidekick What an awesome gig!

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# Just like superheroes Just like superzeros

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# But only half as big! Sidekick! #

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MIST HISSES

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HE WHISTLES

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My glasses! But mostly, ew!

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TOWEL SQUELCHES Oops.

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HOCKEY PLAYERS ZOOM BY

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Here, glasses, glasses, glasses.

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HE GROANS

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I'm on a break!

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Ow!

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HOCKEY MUSIC PLAYS

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GLASSES SHATTER

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-SIREN RINGS

-Yes! Ha, ha, ha.

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That was you being on it?

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-I had a breakaway.

-Fair enough.

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XOX LAUGHS EVILLY

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These Master XOX ray vision contact lenses

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are my most evile invention yet!

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And they're the cutest shade of blue.

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-Dad, I'm home!

-XOX GASPS

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THEY GASP

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Hi, kids. Feel like a snack?

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Oh, come on, Dad. Delicious cake again?

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Really?

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SHE GROANS I need new glasses.

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This is the seventh pair of glasses you've broken this month.

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Why don't you just get contacts?

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You mean, like these?

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Oh! Careful with those, son.

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Why? Are they evil or something?

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-Oh... Evil, hilarious!

-HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

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Why would I just leave something evil out on the counter, right?

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Ha, ha, right!

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Here, try them on, Eric.

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No, I'd hate to impose.

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No, not at all, Eric. Take them.

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I'm sure you had some use for them.

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Nothing more important than

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-helping out Trevor's friends.

-HIS TEETH CHATTER

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I couldn't.

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-Are you sure?

-Take them!

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Wow! Thanks, Mr Troublemeyer.

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-Bye!

-See you, Mr Troublemeyer!

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HE CHUCKLES

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Needles!

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Mine!

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Trevor!

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I've never worn contacts before.

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Is it hard put them in?

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-Nah.

-Doubt it.

-Can't be that hard.

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Argh! Let me go!

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-Whoa!

-HE GROANS

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Ugh, see? Easy-peasy.

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What's it like? Can you see?

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Whoa! Everything's so clear!

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Eurgh, that's what you guys look like?

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-Of course.

-Why do you ask?

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Er, there's something fishy going on.

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OK...

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Wow, Splitsboro Air serves pizza

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for their in-flight meal now?

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Nice.

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-Mamma mia!

-HE SINGS OPERATICALLY

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Whoa! Those contacts are powerful!

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Ha, ha. I bet you can't read this!

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My name is Eric and I make pee-pees in my diapers...

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OK, I think we've established I can see.

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TREVOR LAUGHS

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Burn!

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DINOSAUR ROARS

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BUTTON BLEEPS

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Whoa! Ugh!

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RACCOONS SQUEAK

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HE HISSES Shoo! Shoo! Get away!

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Oh!

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BINOCULARS SHATTER

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ERIC VOMITS

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And now, what are you looking at?

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A dog pooping three towns over.

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Nice!

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Now why you looking at?

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A dog pooping five towns over.

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Awesome!

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Now what?

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Master XOX sitting in a tree starring at us with binoculars.

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Those lenses are mine, Needles!

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Really? What's he doing?

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It's hard to tell...

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Just give me a sec.

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LENSES POWER UP

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Um, is it me

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or did you just shoot a laser beam out of your eyes?

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SCREAMING Laser beam? You're losing it, man.

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Argh!

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Well, laser vision appears functional.

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Ow...

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Ah...

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Ow!

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LASERS FIRE

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SCREAMING

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SIRENS WAIL

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So, lots of fires and closures today, huh?

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Really? Hadn't noticed.

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Eric!

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What are you doing?!

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Oh, just out for a stroll...

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You're destroying the city!

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Who, me?

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-Argh!

-Argh!

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HELICOPTER FLIES OVER

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Eric!

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-THEY GASP

-Close your eyes!

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So, Eric's eyelids are going to stop the lasers?

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He just blew a helicopter out of mid air, Vana!

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You obviously don't have much experience

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with laser vision, Kitty.

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But, I...

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Close them!

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There. See?

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The lasers stopped.

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HE GROANS

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These things aren't budging!

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METAL CLANGS

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There. Problem solved.

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Um, sure.

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Do you still have the lens case?

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Maybe there's instructions.

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CASE SMASHES

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Congratulations on purchasing Master XOX's brand contacts.

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To avoid permanent fusion to the eyes,

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avoid using for more than five minutes at a time.

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And I've had them in for how long?

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Um...

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Three weeks.

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Argh! My precious see-balls.

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I could try hammering again.

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This time with a bigger hammer, ha-ha.

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Maybe we should let a professional look at them.

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I think Maxum Man saw a super optometrist to get

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his x-ray vision upgraded to y-ray. TREVOR SNORES

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Maybe he can help.

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Oh!

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But how am I going to get there when I can't even see?

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Dude, I am on it!

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You're a real pal, Trevor.

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TREVOR PANTS AND BARKS

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LASER BEAMS FIRE

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SCREAMING

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-Where's that hot dog smell again?

-Huh?

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TREVOR GROWLS Hey!

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What is it, boy? You smell something?

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TREVOR GROWLS Whoa!

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PINBALL BELL RINGS

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ICE CREAM VAN MUSIC PLAYS

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Huh?

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No, Trevor! Bad, Trevor!

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No time for ice cream.

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That's more like it.

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Good, Trevor.

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Yep, I think this might all work out just fine.

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You know, Trevor, you might want

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to get your hydraulics checked,

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they sound a little... Wait a minute!

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Oh, right... Laser eyes.

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HE SCREAMS

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Oh!

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TREVOR PANTS

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ERIC HUMS

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Reading is hard.

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Ah, good afternoon, boys.

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I'm Dr Rod McCone.

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Now, what can I do for you, hmm?

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Um, I think I have... HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

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..evil laser vision.

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Whoa, whoa! Hold on there, sport.

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Better let the professional handle this,

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Now, now, look up.

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Hm... Yes, yes.

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Yes, that's evil laser vision all right.

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Pretty advanced case.

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I'm afraid there's nothing I can do, no.

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Man, I love bananas.

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There must be something!

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What about particle accelerating laser eye surgery?

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How did you hear about that, hm?

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Super Optometry Monthly.

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My social calendar is not what you would call...full.

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That surgery is untested.

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It's simply too dangerous.

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CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYS What's that now?

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Why am I only finding out about surgical viewing galleries now?

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Eric, remove your mask...

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now!

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Oh...

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HE GASPS

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-ALARM RINGS

-I don't have enough strength...

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Argh!

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..or power for that laser.

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ROOF CRASHES

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XOX LAUGHS EVILLY

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Is that XOX?!

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Those lenses are mine, Needles.

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ERIC GROANS

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Grr!

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Trevor...?

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Argh!

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Hee, hee, hee, ha!

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The lenses are mine!

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Ew!

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Needles' eye goop, ew! They're all oogy.

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I'm not wearing them now, blargh.

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-Dude! You're cured!

-ERIC SIGHS IN RELIEF

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Guess things are back to normal.

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Actually, your eyes have suffered a major trauma

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and your vision has been severely impaired.

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Yep, things are exactly like they were before all this happened.

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Wait, wait!

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You'll need a much stronger prescription at the very least.

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Yes, sir. Nothing left to see here.

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-CARS SCREECH

-No, no, no. Not good, not good.

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Don't go... Oh...

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I really shouldn't watch this.

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