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Oppoxox Sidekick

Oppoxox

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# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to Sidekick School

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# Learning to be second best while playing by the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing

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# Now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing, stomping, looking super cool

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# I'm a sidekick, sidekick - that's the life for me

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# Half-sized super zeros with full-sized super dreams

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# Sidekick, sidekick What an awesome gig!

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# Just like superheroes

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# Just like superzeros

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# But only half as big

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# Sidekick! #

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Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Oh! Mwah!

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Finally, I have saved enough for my retirement.

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Now, just to deposit in into ze bank...

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Oh.

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-Oops.

-What do we have here?

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A senior citizen that requires

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the aid of a friendly young man?

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Well, thank you,

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incredibly innocent-looking young boy.

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It's so nice to see children with manners!

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-Aah!

-This is a robbery!

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I'm Unusual Suspect, Splitsboro's newest supervillain,

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and I'll take that sweet cash.

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Oh.

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-What do we have here?

-DING DING

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THUD

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This bank, and all the banks in town, belong to Xox!

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Understand?

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HE GROANS

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RAPID THUMPING

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I can't hear you!

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DING DING

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I said I understand!

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-You don't have to yell!

-DING DING

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THUD AND SCREAM

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CRUNCH

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Did you see that?

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Xox saved the bank from a supervillain! He's our hero!

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-CHEERING

-No!

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What, no, no! I wasn't!

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ALL: Xox! Xox! Xox!

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They're cheering... For me?!

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I... I'm...

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I'm feeling something I haven't felt in so long.

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CREAKING, MAGICAL HARP

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BA-DUM BA-DUM

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I...

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feel...

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good!

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Nein, nein, nein!

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Herr Xox wasn't trying to save...

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SCREAMS

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MARCHING BAND PLAYS

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XOX LAUGHS, CREAK

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CRUNCH, UNICORN WHINNIES

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There's only one person who can help me

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with these confusing feelings.

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SMASH

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But since I sent that person to a black hole... Nyah.

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Might as well see Eric Needles.

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WACKY TV NOISES

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SLURPING

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Trevor? The last drop?

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It was the perfect mix of spit, backwash, and what I ate for lunch!

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SIREN WAILS

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Aah!

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It's a Category One Xox alert!

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Kiss your motherboards goodbye!

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THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD

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-Aah! He made it past the front door defences!

-Do not worry, Eric.

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I'm sure the secondary defences will stop him.

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Er... OK, well, there is always the main hall.

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It is impassable.

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BOTH SCREAM

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EXPLOSION

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This is it, Trevor, the end!

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-No more secrets.

-Erm...

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I was the one who put live eels in your underwear that time.

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Aah! I knew it!

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I knew it was you!

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Thanks for that, by the way.

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EXPLOSION

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Maxumbrain, h-e-e-elp!

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BEEP

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XOX LAUGHS EVILLY

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THEY WHIMPER

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-HOOVER WHINES

-You kids do make a mess!

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HE CHUCKLES

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I don't get this. You're not evil any more?

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-But you're worst, most despicable villain on the planet!

-Ohh.

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Don't you think I know that?

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But I've realised that I want to do good.

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And it's not going well.

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ROMANTIC MUSIC

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TYRES SQUEAL

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TYRES SCREECH EXPLOSIVE CRASH

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ALARMS WAIL

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-SLAP

-Oh-h-h.

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FOG HORN BLARES

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HE WHIMPERS

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EVIL CHUCKLE

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-ALL:

-Yeah! Yay!

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CHEERING

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WIBBLING

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SCREAMS

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HE CACKLES

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-SLAP

-Oh-h-h!

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SCREAMING

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FANFARE

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PINBALL DINGS

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What!

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EXPLOSION, SCREAMS

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-SLAP

-Oh-h-h-h!

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I still haven't quite got the hang of it.

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That's why I need your help.

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THUD

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ROMANTIC MUSIC

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Eric, you're the most snivelling goody-goody in town.

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Who better to help me be good?

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Ewww.

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Fine! But first, you have to pass

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one test to prove

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your un-Xox-iness.

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OK. Time for some good training.

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Not that the training itself is good,

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it simply prepares one for being good.

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Now, make sure you only blast targets

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a good guy would blast.

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MEOW

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Grr!

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A-a-a-ah!

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Hmm.

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Stop the test! Stop the test!

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What happened out there, Xox?

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Ah... Er... Grandma was

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about to perform evil experiments

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with that evil cat.

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The Super stood by, without helping.

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The campfire girl was selling

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radioactive cookies.

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And why blast a gorilla

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that's obviously brushing his teeth?

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Dental hygiene is so important.

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FLIES BUZZ

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APPLAUSE

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Bravo, perfect score!

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Now it's time to mask up

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for your final test...

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The real world.

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Oppoxox!

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I love that new name.

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It's way less evil.

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Come on! Let's do some good!

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METALLIC THUDDING

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ELECTRIC BUZZ

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CHEERING

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DING

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ARMS WHIRRING

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BEAST PURRS

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CHEERING

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CLOCK PINGS

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CROWD GASPS

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SNIP

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CHEERING

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THUNK

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Owww!

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That was some seriously good do-gooding.

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I feel sick.

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TREVOR SQUELCHES

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Hmm. It actually feels nice.

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Instead of rage-fuelled hatred,

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I have love-fuelled happiness to spread.

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I hope you have a lot,

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because the villains of Splitsboro seem to be on a crime spree.

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Check it out!

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EVIL LAUGHTER

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SCREAMING

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BABY CRIES, MONSTER GRUNTS

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It's never been this bad!

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Maybe one doomsday explosion per day, but now, it's like ten an hour!

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Hmm.

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Wait! I think I know why these villains are going crime crazy.

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As the town's most evil villain,

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I kept the others in line.

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And the best crime from myself.

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VANA: Yeah, and now that you're good, all these creeps are running free.

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So... Yeah.

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-Anyone else think we need to turn Xox evil again?

-No.

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And that's how I'll solve the energy crisis

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and the world economy at the same time. Bu...

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-This is a crime-tervention, Xox.

-That's Oppoxox, Eric. Remember?

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VANA: Well, not any more, it isn't. This city needs you to be bad again.

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HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

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Xox, since you've been good,

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you've dismantled 18 doomsday devices,

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you actually gave evil laser-firing mutant piranhas a good home.

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GLASS SMASHING, SCREAMING

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But worst of all,

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you haven't tried to annihilate me or the mansion even once!

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And that hurts.

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But I'm not the one you've hurt the most.

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-Dad of Xox...

-Aah!

-..who I've never seen before

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but looks suspiciously like Trevor's grandfather.

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Oh, you were such an evil baby!

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Being evil is your birthright.

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I'm sorry, Dad.

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I don't want that life.

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I want to be good.

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Bah!

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You promised me pudding!

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HE EATS NOISILY

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HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

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Good day. Brute misses mean man.

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Brute lonely.

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Also, me hungry.

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-DING

-'Wicked!'

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I told you, I'm good now.

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ALARMS RING

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Central City Bank of Splitsboro! It's being robbed as we speak!

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Let me handle this.

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It is the birthplace of Oppoxox, after all!

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Wa-a-a-ah!

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THUD

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I forgot I can't fly.

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HE GROANS

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CHEERING

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Oh thank you, thank you!

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I love you! Oppoxox loves you!

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HE SIGHS

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That's it. We lost him for good. To good.

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VANA: We made the world SO much worse by making it somewhat better.

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Who knew I would miss the most evil super villain around?

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Waaaa!

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He was so beautifully evil!

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HE SOBS LOUDLY

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XOX CACKLES

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Oh! Looks like this is left over from the crooks' haul!

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Hmm! I'll just put it back in the vault.

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ELASTIC SQUEAK

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Oh, that's funny.

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Can't seem to...let...go!

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-I'll give it back, right...

-HE GRUNTS

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..now!

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Oh.

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Or...will I?

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That's it, Xox, take that penny!

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-VANA: Take all the pennies!

-Rob this bank blind!

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Hmm. Hmm!

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XOX CHUCKLES

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PFFFT

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HE CACKLES EVILLY

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EXPLOSIONS AND SCREAMING

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Yeah, we did it!

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We turned the most evil person to ever live evil again!

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-Go us!

-Aah!

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ALL SCREAM

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XOX LAUGHS

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