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Welcome to Splatalot!
We invited a dozen young warriors to take on the defiant Defenders
as they strive to capture the coveted crown of Splatalot.
Can the Defenders keep the castle safe, preserve their kingdom...
-..and reign victorious?
Who will tumble, tilt and teeter and who will go...splat?
-I'll be Dick.
-And I'll be Dom.
-Welcome to Splatalot.
The medieval splatfest where 12 young attackers do battle
-for the right to claim the kingdom.
-But it will be far from easy.
Let's look at those rounds.
Round One is crossing the moat.
-Only the six fastest will survive.
-They'll make it to the stockade,
but only four will escape. They'll then compete in the grand finale
where the winner will lay claim to that crown.
Each round has its own unique challenges
-so they need a wide range of skills.
-Here's Round 1!
-The Moat Challenge.
It starts with the baffling barrels.
The slippery slope leads to the rolling mace.
The impossible incline is next, then the beastly battleaxes.
They often result in a dunking.
The rope bridge of disaster leads to the perilous pole vault
and the finishing line at the castle entrance.
Splatting them all the way will be the guards, the Defenders.
It's their aim to slow them down and they have a range of weapons.
Sadly for the Attackers, they really do seem to enjoy their work.
In Round 1 we have the unpredictable weapons master Tinkor.
-The scary barbarian...
And Splatalot's armour-clad scaremonger, Knightriss.
You can run, but you can't...er...
They're in place, so time to get this round underway.
-Here's our first Attacker, Lizzie.
-I am waterproof! Woo!
-Waterproof - that'll come in handy.
-That's a very confident start! Oops!
Lizzie is in the water!
-And she seems to be quite happy.
-She hasn't met Skabb yet.
Lizzie, are you waterproof? I'm Attacker-proof.
Oh, I'm not, am I?
Lizzie giving as good as she gets, but that just makes Skabb angry.
-There's nowhere to hide.
-Lizzie's down. The splat count is up!
Is it cold?
-Skabb's just being mean!
And accurate. It's his third splat!
Hello, Lizzie. Say hello to Knightriss.
The name is Knightriss!
-You've got to love Lizzie.
-But will she be standing after this?
-Yes, she is!
-The Defenders realise Lizzie is a tough contender.
Only the perilous pole to go! ..You go across, not down!
-No matter, she's finished.
-In your face!
What a great start! Here's Brad.
I'm gonna get 'er done!
Load, load, load!
You have some stuff on your face like me! Maybe we can be brothers.
Splatacious! Despite that thwack of a splat,
Brad finished the course in a not-too shabby 4:54.
Well done, Brad!
I'm gonna own this castle!
Jonathan looking to buy the castle, but is Skabb willing to sell?
Oh! And Skabb's splat count is going through the roof!
Jonathan moves onto the mace, but he doesn't last long!
-He's still in Skabb's firing line.
-It's another one on target!
Chalk up another splat for Skabb.
He needs to get out of firing range. Oh, but another splat!
Let's give the poor old boy a moment to catch his breath.
-She's already over the mace.
I'm gonna rock this course even in the rain!
-But she overshoots the incline!
Into the moat. We see that a lot on this show.
-Feeling stinky? Here comes Tinky!
-Not exactly a feelgood catchphrase.
That won't feel food either! Skabb on target again!
Not as easy as it seems!
Can Knightriss slow Lory down?
Lory tries to swing over, but she swings back!
It's a swing back splat and down she goes.
But she finishes in a great time. Jonathan might just make the cut.
I think I can do it!
-Will Jamie think the same after the barrels?
-Not a bad start.
Oh! He falls at the last barrel!
But I think he'll be OK.
-Skabb might make him think again.
-I'm Skabb. Are you scared?
Skabb trying everything to unsettle Jamie, but he's got to the mace.
He tiptoes over, but he's losing his balance! Into the moat!
We'll come back to Jamie later. Now it's time to welcome Clayton.
Yeah! You pumped? I'm pumped!
-I think Clayton is pumped.
-And charging over those barrels.
He's a very good impressionist.
It's his impression of a splat! What impression will he make on Skabb?
Do you think you're flash? Think you're good?
-Show him, Skabb!
-It doesn't look good.
Oh! And Clayton's down!
If we slow it down, we can see it's another splat from Skabb.
He can't miss today.
-Are you pumped?
I'M pumped! Take that!
Well, he ignores the taunting. Only the pole vault to go.
-Oh, my bum bums! Skabb is still splatting him!
-They all count.
-Not as easy as it seems!
-Slides down, but he's OK!
He's over, but has he any strength left?
Very few manage the pole vault in one go. It could go either way.
Yes, he's done it!
Finishes in a pumped time of 2:12.
-What a first half!
-Check the leaderboard!
-Clayton's ahead, Jonathan in danger.
-But it's all to play for.
-We're only halfway through.
-The second half is just as splatty!
-That was quite a first half. And fast.
-Round 1 is a time trial.
-Only the six fastest will make it through.
-We've seen the first six.
With six more to come, we don't know who's safe.
Even Clayton could be in danger if the next six are all super-fast!
But if Skabb continues this form, even Jonathan might be hard to beat.
Have a reminder of what's in store.
The moat challenge is a splatfest,
something Skabb will want to repeat in the second half.
But Clayton and Lory are almost sure to be through. Jonathan is in danger
and Jamie, sadly, did not finish.
-So shall we return to the course?
-Why not? Here's Aaron!
-I'm on TV!
-Yes, you are. Get on with it!
-Hey, Aaron! Aaron!
-It's the oldest trick in the book!
Skabb calls his name, he looks up and loses balance. Textbook.
Aaron running down the incline. Oh, he's nearly overbalanced!
-He's trying not to fall.
-Very scary things in the moat today.
-Get him, Knightriss!
-Scary Knightriss now. And he's down!
I think the bridge had plenty to do with that splat.
Yes, he got his feet tangled and he's down.
-So he's just got the pole vault to go.
-Will he end victorious?
Or just end up where he started?
-This is costing a lot of time. It's against the clock.
And down he goes.
The pole vault slowed him down, but that's still a healthy time.
-I'm furious and I'm fast!
-Rachel is furious and...oh!
-That was fast!
-One of the fastest splats ever!
Aaargh! Are you scared?
-And Skabb chalks up another splat-mace roll combo!
That was really mean and she's back into the quango.
That's a good Skabb splat.
The very brave Rachel did recover, but she couldn't qualify.
Someone better get a lifeguard. I'm about to drown with the crown!
Hi, Laurent. Is that French?
-I speak French.
-No, Skabb, you speak Splat.
I will blast you with my weapon!
-I wonder what the French is for, "Ohhh!"
-Je ne sais pas, mais c'est un splat!
-That's a splat in any language!
Skabb continues where he left off.
- Load, load, load! - Skabb, he's getting away!
He got as far as the incline, but another splat for Laurent!
-Watch out for the axe!
-Ooh! Looks like they might need sharpening.
He thinks he's better than you, Knightriss.
-We know how hard the pole vault is.
-So will he or won't he?
Come on, Laurent! Yes, he's over!
That's a great time of 3:31. I guess he was better than Knightriss.
-I wanna go fast!
-Sophie wanna go fast.
You should be very scared!
-"I'm not scared of you"(!)
-Another direct splat from Skabb!
It's hard to keep up.
Why don't we take a moment to celebrate Skabb's classic splats?
I will blast you with my weapon!
A classic collection of splats! Let's hear from the splatmeister.
I'm gonna blow this pop stand!
How will Caroline deal with Skabb? His usual warm welcome.
But she makes it over the mace.
-Another direct hit, but Caroline doesn't flinch!
-Reminds me of me.
Ooh! Bum bum bu-bu-bum!
-She shrugs it off.
-Here we go, girly.
Knightriss also has no effect. Caroline is storming through.
But Skabb hasn't finished with her. It's another splat for Skabb!
-Nothing is stopping this girl.
-Will she make it? Yes!
That's the fastest time today! An incredible 1:45 from Caroline!
Splatalot - I'm gonna conquer your castle!
Here's our final Attacker, Keanna. She's an excellent figure skater.
-She skated off that last barrel.
-Maybe she'd like the moat frozen.
Keanna! Do you think you can take on Knightriss?
-Paintballs flying in!
-Skabb has broken the splat counter!
Can Keanna concentrate? She's taking her time and... Oh.
She loses her footing and she's down. Hits the orange platform.
-Maybe she thought it was carrot cake.
Sadly, Keanna has run out of time.
What an incredible round. It was so good, I'm going to lay an egg.
Skabb was even more splatterific there, but we saw amazing times.
And here are the fastest six!
The Arctic Monkeys!
-How do you follow Round 1?
-With Round 2?
-I like your thinking.
-Stand by for more splats.
-We now have our fastest six. Let's have some splat stats.
Three made it from the first half and three from the second.
Skabb gave the most intense display of defending we've seen.
These six have displayed dazzling skills in the Moat Challenge.
They've triumphed over some weird obstacles
-and are one step closer to the crown.
-Take it off.
Only four will escape. The reason is about to become clear.
The Attackers begin strapped to the Wheel of Certain Doom.
They stagger to the ladder rungs.
-And grab a flag before escaping up the ladders.
-How many flags?
Only four. So two Attackers won't survive. Cruel, but exciting.
Sounds like the Defenders.
The name's Kook!
He loves defending almost as much as himself - Gildar.
-And the blue ninja...
You'll never get past us. We are fearless. Ah!
The Attackers are strapped in. Lory's orange, Lizzie tangerine,
Clayton navy blue, Laurent light blue, Aaron red and Caroline pink.
But now they're all foam-coloured!
You've got a little foam on you.
Yeah, breakfast is served, buddy!
One more spin of the wheel and they're off!
Caroline and Clayton have rungs!
-It's raining foam!
-Oh! And Lory gets the first splat!
Then Caroline joins her for a slippery trip down the wheel.
-Kook with a paint grenade! Now Gildar!
-Clayton receiving them!
Lory sets the pace and then sets off for another rung.
Wallop! And the arm gets Aaron!
It's a classic hit, slide, splat triple whammy!
Remember, it's not just the arm at the top...
In the stockade, you need eyes in the back of your head.
I would like to take this opportunity to apologise for my appearance.
It's usually much better when it's not raining!
Slippy enough yet?
The Attackers are now practically unrecognisable.
Oh! I can tell you that was Caroline getting seriously splatted.
-The arms are packing a punch today.
-Slowing down our fastest Attacker.
Clayton and Lory are coming along, but the Defenders are on guard.
-Lory is caught by Kookaburra!
-She doesn't know which way to look!
-I suggest not looking up!
-What does it taste like?
Aaron has sneaked up the wheel and grabbed himself a flag!
He's heading for the ladder. Did the Defenders just miss him?
Kook's spotted him and it's a bucket of slime.
But Aaron won't mind. He's through!
-Well done, Aaron!
Clayton's on the receiving end and he's not happy.
Kook's as much of a handful as Skabb was. Turn away, Clayton!
-Oh, now what's he doing?
-You wouldn't want to taste that.
-Wouldn't stop him dishing it out.
-This time he slimes Lory.
-She jumps off her ladder!
-And she's dropped her rung!
-Will she be able to find it?
-Lizzie has nearly finished
-and Laurent has the second flag!
-He makes his way to the top!
That means only two flags remain!
# I'm a Defender! #
Hey, what do you reckon? # I'm a Defender! #
Don't dance - just defend!
-It's because his hair's getting frizzy.
-Kook gets back to defending.
-He slimes Lizzie!
-Surely he's run out of slime by now!
-Gildar, your mascara is running!
-Gildar gets distracted.
-Remember what he's here to do.
-He hoses Caroline!
She has the third flag, but takes a heavy splat.
-What a greeting(!)
-Caroline is slimed, but she's through.
-So one flag remains. Who's got it?
But Gildar is hosing her down. Looks like she's lost her bearings.
"Oh, er... Where's the ladder?"
And she's back with us and makes her way up the ladder!
But Lory and Clayton, our speed machines, won't be making it.
We celebrate with Lizzie and commiserate with Lory.
It's been another splatfest and we now have our finalists.
And they are...
-They now compete in the grand finale.
-Which looks like this.
It's all about to get very splatty
as they battle it out to rule Splatalot.
It's splat time!
That's why we call it Splatalot!
We began with 12. Now we have 4.
That may seem careless, but it's all going to plan.
The Moat Challenge and Stockade allowed only the best through.
It's the combination of skills.
We had fast Attackers in Round 1 who suffered in Round 2.
And Defenders have one simple task:
to stop these brave Attackers claiming the crown.
It also helps having all six defenders in the final.
Kook, Shaiden and Knightriss combine with Skabb, Tinkor and Gildar
-and they certainly look like they mean business.
-So does the course!
It's Laurent, Caroline, Lizzie and Aaron.
Here's a reminder of what it's for. The crown of Splatalot!
Protect that crown!
It wouldn't be the final without a weird battle cry!
Are they all saying the same thing?
It doesn't matter - we're off! The Attackers land in the foam.
-I'm defending this castle!
-A statement of intent from Kook.
Tinkor lets his bucket of slime do all the talking!
On to the teeters. Who falls first? It's Lizzie!
She disappears into the moat and now it's Aaron's turn.
He's doing well, almost over. Almost there...no.
-It's Busy Lizzie again!
-It's a plant.
No time for gardening lessons!
Aaron slides off! He needs both feet planted on the barrier.
That won't be allowed.
Laurent taking it steady, but Caroline chooses speed.
-She falls, but I think she's OK.
-She's tamed the wild teeter.
Good day! How are you? I don't care!
-Skabb's social skills need work.
-Will Caroline tell him?
Skabb's heart is set on destruction!
Lizzie still finding the teeters very tricky.
Is there a harder obstacle out there today?
Patient Laurent makes his move. Trouble is, it's the wrong move.
What's stuck in Aaron's helmet?
I like what you've done with your mask there, mate!
-It's a paintball.
-It's not helping as he's back in the moat.
-He goes back to the teeters.
-The Defenders refocus on Caroline.
Kook on one side, Gildar the other, but she's easing forward.
Lizzie also eases forward, but she's down again!
I'm not sure. Can she get back up? Maybe? No.
Check out Laurent in the background! He really gets splatted!
But he's back up and... Yes, he's over the barrier.
And so is Aaron!
Caroline is nearly at the platform, but she's in the moat!
-This final has exploded into life.
-Lizzie is struggling to make it.
But look how close it is for the lead now!
-How about a little clouding?
-Knightriss is making it hard to see!
-No, Caroline is halfway up!
They're getting away!
Aaron leaps for the platform, but surely it's too late!
Caroline is almost there. Laurent's got nothing more to give.
-Surely this is it. But Aaron is sprinting!
-Too late, surely!
Yes, she has the crown! Caroline is our new queen!
Lizzie's a true fighter, but tell her it's over.
Gildar struggles to take defeat gracefully and Skabb sums it up.
What a final!
-Ooh, that was so close, but Caroline is the winner.
Splatalot is the winner!
Right! We've seen some splats, but there's only one Splat of the Day!
And it came in Round 1, courtesy of Keanna.
She lost her footing and gravity did the rest.
You can't put a price on that!
-So we haven't. Sorry. No prize.
-Moving on...here's Queen Caroline.
Despite Skabb, she was fastest over the moat.
-The stockade was much tougher.
-But she made it through
and claimed that crown!
We'll have another Splatalot soon.
We'll leave you with Queen Caroline and the flag-raising ceremony.
BOTH: Keep splatting!
I'm the queen of the castle!
Subtitles by Subtext for Red Bee Media Ltd - 2011
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