Episode 24 Splatalot


Episode 24

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Transcript


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-'It's splat time!'

-Yes, welcome to Splatalot.

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We raise the drawbridge and invite 12 brave young contenders

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to go head-to-head with despicable defenders

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as they compete to capture the highly coveted Splatalot crown.

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-Yes!

-Will the defenders keep the castle safe from the attackers

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and protect their kingdom or will the attackers overthrow them

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and in the end reign victorious?

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Who will tumble? Who will tilt? Who will teeter?

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And who will go splat?

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-Well, hello! He's Dick.

-He's Dom. And this is Splatalot.

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We get asked a lot of Splatalot-related questions.

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The most common is this. Has anyone else noticed

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that dashing Viking defender called Gildar? I've enclosed a picture.

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Isn't he lovely? From a Mr G Ildar from Vikinghamshire.

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Huh. Hang on a minute. That's strange.

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-These are all from him, as well.

-How about that?

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If you haven't met him yet, don't worry, you're in for a treat.

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The rest of you want to know how to become king or queen of Splatalot.

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Here's the simplest answer. Be one of the fastest six

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-in our moat challenge.

-Capture one of four flags in the stockade.

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And then finish first in the grand final.

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-The Splatalot crown is then yours.

-See? Simple!

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Hm, yes, about as simple as doing your maths homework

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in a bath full of kippers. Here's the moat challenge.

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We begin with a skip across the pungent plank.

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Then the rolling mace. Look out for spiky bits.

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The impossible incline next, leading to the beastly battleaxes.

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The road bridge of disaster follows. Mind the trip hazards.

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And the debilitating disc takes us to the finish line.

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But don't forget, all of this is against the clock.

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-Yep, it's getting less simpler by the second.

-So is that sentence.

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And things are about to get even more less simple

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because the moat challenge, like all of the challenges,

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is defended by a bunch of nasty, mean, dastardly, evil...

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What he means is, it's time to meet the defenders.

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Don't they make a lovely bunch?

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In round one, our three defenders will be

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the croc who won't stop till you drop, Crocness.

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The heartless huntress Ballista.

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And the guy who writes his own fan mail, Gildar.

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This'll be a hair-raising experience.

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-How's mine?

-Not as good as mine.

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Oh, he makes me feel ill.

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OK, back to the course. Crocness is on the splatzooka.

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Ballista is on the water drop. Gildar has the slime stick.

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-Here's our first attacker, Kate!

-SHE SQUEALS

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Well, I hope that sets the tone for the rest of the show.

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Attacker, attacker, who likes a lot of splatter?

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Come out, come on, wherever you are!

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-The defenders don't waste time with the taunting.

-You after our crown?

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-That's why Kate's here.

-But Kate doesn't want to be there.

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-Flubbery snitz!

-That's not how you do it.

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She's right, but it is our first splat of the day

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and that's something Kate can be very proud of.

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Can she rise to a different challenge altogether?

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Kate, would you say I'm more handsome or more gorgeous?

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-I can't hear you!

-Garfunkeled!

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Well, textbook taunting from Gildar whose smarmy charm puts Kate off.

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-Then his smarm turns to slime. The battleaxes do the rest.

-She's OK.

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Hey, Kate! A shower once a day keeps the smell away!

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Ballista is taunting in rhyme. Splooshy!

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-Maybe Croc needs that shower.

-Like you never have a bad hair day!

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-Let's have a little deja vu.

-Ballista gives Kate a second shower.

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That's a power shower and I think it might lead to an early bath.

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Schnizzle-whip!

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Well, proof there that this is the cleanest show on TV.

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Shower, bath, shower, bath. Where's the towel?

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So, Kate is home but not dry

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in a time of 5 minutes 23.

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-Here's attacker number two, Sandra.

-Ping-wham-balti!

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-Tell us what you love, Sandra.

-SHE SHOUTS INCOMPREHENSIBLY

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Well, whatever it is, she really loves it.

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-Will she love meeting Crocness?

-Well, no love as yet.

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-G'day, g'day.

-Croc tries to break the ice.

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-But Sandra isn't having any of it.

-Makes a move and jumbo Cumberland!

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But she's back up, keeping her eye on Croc. Still no love.

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Down the incline she goes and put-too-doo-doo-doo-doo!

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-She seems to love the moat.

-Sandra demonstrating perfectly

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-that slide often comes before a fall.

-Proud?

-I am!

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But will Sandra be proud of her time of 7.28?

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There's only so many happy dances I can watch.

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Thank you, Gildar. Here's our next attacker, Cole.

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-Eat it!

-Well, Cole ate up the plank, slope and mace.

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How about the incline? Pop goes the dribbly weasel!

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Dribbling weasel indeed! Cole's bitten off more than he can chew.

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Yes, too speedy and just a bit squeaky. I thank you.

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Now, can Cole make it across the bridge? Bum onions!

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And these splats are eating up the clock.

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-When you said "eat it" what were you talking about?

-Eat you!

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-We can't allow that.

-Gildar not happy with that taunting. Ooh!

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Ballista now joins in with the water cannon.

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A drink to go with a moat-course meal.

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Cole tries to shrug it off. He grabs the rope and dirty weasel!

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-Gildar, close your eyes!

-Is it what I think it is?

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-Oh, yeah!

-Agh!

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Whoa! Agh!

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Yes, Cole's rubbing it in Gildar's face with that happy dance.

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And his time's not too shabby, either!

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-Has he gone?

-Yes. Calm down and focus on the next attacker, Madison!

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-SHE YELLS

-Ooh, scary, tiger!

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-Here's Madison on the slope.

-Welcome to Splatalot.

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-Abingdon! Crewe! Derby!

-Another point for Crocness!

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Louth! Selby! Torquay!

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-This Croc woman in on fire today.

-Yeovil!

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-OK.

-Buxton!

-Please.

-Telford!

-Enough.

-Hatfield!

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-Stop!

-Good!

-Right, back to Madison who's soaking up splats.

-Norwich!

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-Yes!

-I give up.

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It's a good job Madison hasn't. She's onto the battleaxes

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-and, yes, she makes it over!

-At least she's out of Croc's range.

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-Douglas!

-I don't believe this.

-Straight as an arrow,

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Croc's 13th paintball flies towards Madison,

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-a very unlucky sitting target.

-Unlucky?

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-It's like Madison's a splat magnet!

-Well, she's safe now.

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-I wouldn't bank on it.

-And finishes with a time of 7.14.

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-I hate bees!

-Surely wasps are worse, Oliver.

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-Billericay!

-Did that hurt?

-Not a bit!

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Look out for those spikes! Rubble dumper!

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-The mace definitely has a sting in its tail.

-Be careful, Oliver.

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Don't bumble around or you'll be making a beeline for the moat.

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-As long as you beehive yourself.

-Sorry, honey. While we drone on...

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-Nice.

-..Oliver buzzes over the course in 6.48.

-Bee-autiful!

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-I like blue!

-Amanda likes blue! But does she like Ballista?

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Just call me mother nature because I make it rain when and where I want.

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And to prove her point, here comes the rain.

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That just makes the slippery slope extra-slippery.

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-How extra slippery would you say it is?

-I couldn't possibly say.

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That's how slippy. Crocness and Gildar are raining down on Amanda

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-and she's about to get even more wet.

-Oh, Bimbo Baggins!

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Yes, she loses her footing on the first axe. They're not just choppy,

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they're slippy, too. That leads to a trip to the moat.

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Gildar slimes the skies in an attempt to reach Amanda

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-who's on the debilitating disc.

-Ballista makes it rain.

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This is a really brave attempt in these adverse conditions.

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-She topples but hangs on in there. This is impressive stuff!

-Wow!

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That is superior Viking-like strength.

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And she's made it! What an amazing effort!

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But that bad weather slowed her down

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and has left Amanda trailing in sixth place.

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Yes, only the top six qualify, and with six more attackers to come,

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-sixth place is a dangerous place to be.

-Confirmation of those times.

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Cole leads with 4.44 and Amanda trails with 8.52.

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-But no-one's out yet.

-Ah, yes, but no-one's safe yet, either.

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That's the beauty of it. At this point in the show,

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no-one knows what's coming next.

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As I said, no-one knows what's coming next.

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Here's what's coming next. Plenty more splats.

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-And plenty of opportunities to get my own back.

-Don't bear a grudge.

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Before we continue with the second half, Dom's gone to get cleaned up

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so we've just got time for a few more of your lovely letters.

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Right, this one says, "Skabb loves Skabb"

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so I think we know who wrote that one. OK.

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"Tinkor stinks!" Signed "the other defenders."

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That's not very nice. I'm sure he doesn't really.

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"Yes, he does" signed the defenders. The post is quick round here!

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Time for one more. "Don't look in the medieval mail bag."

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I wonder why not.

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Oh, sorry.

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Said I'd get my own back. Right, now I'm nice and clean,

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we can start the second half.

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Here's what our next six attackers have to beat.

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Cole is our current leader with 4.44

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and Amanda is in the danger zone with a time to beat of 8.52.

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Crocness, Ballista and Gildar are back on the course and ready to go.

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-Yes, but I'm not.

-Oh, shut your fat, wet face.

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So, kicking off with a slope splat, here's our next attacker, John.

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I have soft hair!

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Uh-oh! Maybe John and Gildar have something in common.

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Oh, socko-splodder! Now John has soft, damp hair.

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Yes, I guess he just didn't gel with the spiky-haired mace.

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-Cue the bad hair day.

-Talking of which, here's Gildar.

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-Do you think that's slime or conditioner?

-John takes a leap.

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-Ooh, smidgy badger!

-Well, Gildar seems to be up for the second half.

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-You've had the conditioner, here's the rinse.

-Can John hold on?

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Dingle-dangle-ping-pang-pow!

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That moat water is going to do nothing for your split ends.

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-Surely he means splat ends.

-John finishes with a great time of 4.52.

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-Here's our next attacker, Jenna.

-Booyah!

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And here she is on the impossible incline.

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Jenna, the handsome voice you're hearing is that of me, Gildar.

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Ooh! Watch the hair!

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Did she throw something at me? You're supposed to be impressed!

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-Disqualify her!

-Well, there's nothing in the rule book that says

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attackers can't fight back. They are attackers.

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But the course reminds Jenna who's in charge. Well done for trying.

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-How will she cope with Ballista?

-Jenna!

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-She's unbalanced and goo-goo-licker!

-Jenna does her best to hang on

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but there really is no room for error up there.

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But plenty of room in the moat.

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She got the better of Gildar but the course got the better of Jenna

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-and sadly she's out.

-Here's attacker number nine, Jeff.

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-Jeff, you're going the wrong way, love.

-Yeah!

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Well, here he is going the right way on the mace.

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-Oh, well. Was the right way to start with.

-How about the incline?

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There is only one way to go. Plop-wiffle!

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-Now just the debilitating disc to go!

-What was he thinking?

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-Weird tactics, Jeff.

-Croc's right, but they may have paid off.

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With a time of 7 minutes 10, Jeff might just scrape in.

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I like ice cream! SHE SCREAMS

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Astrid likes ice cream! And she also likes to scream.

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Will she like the wafer-thin pungent plank, though?

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-Her strength's deserting her.

-Come on, Asterix!

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Come on, Bastion. Come on, Asprin, let's see what you got.

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I know. That's what I said.

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Is there anything worse than getting someone's name wrong?

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-Falling off the mace into the moat on TV?

-Tough break for Asteroid.

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-Name-calling didn't get to Astrid, but the mace did.

-Naughty mace!

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-She does not finish, which makes me sad.

-I blame Gildar.

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-Let's call him names.

-Radar?

-Yes.

-Glider?

-Yes.

-Darth Vader?

-Like it!

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Seagulls make me nervous!

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-OK, no-one tickle Amina.

-Come on, Amoeba, I don't have all day.

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Come on, Ammonia. Come on, Anaesthesia.

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It's Amina! And so is the incline, very a-mean-a indeed.

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-Did you say something, Wilhelmina?

-Is Gildar being mean or very clever

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-with his off-putting tactics?

-How about mean and clever?

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He hasn't stopped ticklish Amina from finishing,

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but her time of 8.20 is too slow to qualify. Did someone tickle her?

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Here's today's final attacker, or maybe that should be splattacker.

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-Let's go!

-Yes, Jarid, let's go out with a bang!

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-Here he is on the axes.

-Gildar sliming.

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And Jarid... Ohh! Halfway up the trouser leg!

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Halfway up the trouser leg, indeed! Jarid was caught in two minds

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whether to stay or go. The minds didn't agree so the moat decided.

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-Jarid's looking tired after that splat, but look at Gildar.

-Lazy!

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-What are you doing, Gildar?

-When I get tired, I'm not my Viking self.

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-Whatever, Gildar.

-Meanwhile, Jarid has found some energy.

-Hey!

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But that water cannon finished the poor guy off! Pompersissy!

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Good team work, everyone! Proud to be steering this ship.

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Thanks for the help, Gildar.

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Well, this is interesting. Gildar lies down on the job

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and Jarid posts the fastest time of the day. Coincidence?

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To be honest, I think Jarid would've made it anyway.

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But Gildar is really pushing his luck with Ballista and Crocness.

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-Let's see who made it to round two.

-Jarid, Cole, John,

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Kate, Oliver and Jeff will soon be thrown into our stockade.

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When you put it that way, it doesn't sound like much of a reward.

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Hey, if you want to win that crown, you've got to work for it.

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And in the stockade, you've got to splat for it, too.

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So before we move onto round two, here,

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-what have we learnt from round one? Fastest attacker?

-That's Jarid.

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-Slowest attacker?

-Jeff.

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-Most impressive defender?

-Crocness with 13 paintball splats in a row.

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-Most annoying defender?

-It's the same one every time.

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-Oh, yes, Mr G Ildar from Vikinghamshire?

-Mm-hm.

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AKA Glider, Radar, Darth Vader,

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-the guys who sleeps on the job.

-That's the one.

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OK, enough about him. Back to the competition.

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The six fastest attackers have now made it through to the stockade.

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But only four of them will escape to compete in the grand final.

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And in that final, one of them will become the new ruler of Splatalot.

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So, who's it going to be?

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Well, whoever it is, they're going to need a different set of skills

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-in the next challenge.

-Being fast will help,

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but escaping the stockade requires so much more!

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They start by dashing across the giant spinning hexagon.

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And then leaping onto the hexapods, positioned beneath the ladder rungs.

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These rungs will help build the ladders to escape.

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Once built, they can grab one of only four flags

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before escaping to victory and a guaranteed place in the grand final!

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Yes, six attackers, but only four flags,

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so two of them won't be escaping the stockade.

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Mm. However, all of them will be facing three new defenders.

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I would imagine they'd all prefer to be up against lazy old Gildar.

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Oh, no, my pretend friend, it's these three.

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-He's the joker in the pack.

-Kookaburra.

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-She always packs a mean splat.

-Shaiden.

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-And she's our very own lady knight.

-Knightriss!

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Attackers, give it your best shot!

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It still won't be good enough!

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So, let's check out the attackers' colours.

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Kate's in the red. Jarid's gone for pink.

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Cole has a navy helmet. John's in purple.

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Oliver's wearing orange. And Jeff is sporting green.

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-Can the defenders stay focused? Looking good.

-They're off!

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-It's begun!

-Yes, Kook, that's what the claxon's for.

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Early lead from Oliver and John.

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-Not going to make it easy for you!

-Knightriss foaming at the mouth

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-and the cannon.

-Good landing, Kate. Not so good from Cole.

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-That's what's happening!

-Uh-oh, goo grenades!

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But the attackers shrug them off.

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Jarid has a rung. So does John. And Oliver. And Cole! It's a rung-fest!

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Shaiden decides it's time to slow them down with slime.

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Jarid slips off his hexapod. And Jeff does the same,

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-nearly taking out the camera!

-If you're on telly, try for a close up.

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Not sure the goggles, helmets and foam work in the close up.

0:15:390:15:43

-John's working well, almost finished his ladder.

-Shaiden with more goo.

0:15:430:15:47

-She splats Jarid.

-Yes, Jarid's the bullseye in the hexagon.

0:15:470:15:51

Almost has the rung knocked out of his hands.

0:15:510:15:55

-A few crash landings.

-Nothing worse than landing badly on your hexapods.

0:15:550:15:59

Exactly.

0:15:590:16:01

What's this? John's grabbing the first flag!

0:16:010:16:03

That springs Oliver into action. Careful!

0:16:030:16:06

And Cole is also thrown by the news.

0:16:060:16:08

There he goes up the ladder and John is the first through to the final!

0:16:080:16:12

So, that means three flags and fives attackers remain.

0:16:120:16:16

Eat slime!

0:16:160:16:18

Can a slime win splatter the day?

0:16:190:16:21

-Don't see why not.

-Jarid still leaping well and landing badly.

0:16:210:16:25

And it's catching. There goes Cole! Is that Jarid? Hard to tell.

0:16:250:16:29

-What's Kook up to?

-Not the right time for a tea break.

0:16:290:16:32

-Look like he wants it milky.

-Surely this is as bad as Gildar earlier.

0:16:320:16:36

What are the defenders thinking?

0:16:360:16:38

-Can the attackers take advantage?

-Not if Jeff and Kate can't land.

0:16:380:16:43

-Shaiden makes up for Kook's nonsense by sliming Oliver.

-How about this?

0:16:430:16:48

-You're not doing too well.

-Looks like tea break's over. Throbber!

0:16:480:16:53

-The attackers fight back!

-And Jeff splats Kookaburra with a paintball

0:16:530:16:57

and maybe teaches him a lesson.

0:16:570:17:00

-I'm not going to cry! I'm not going to cry!

-What is it?

0:17:000:17:04

-He threw something at me!

-Well, you've only got yourself to blame.

0:17:040:17:08

-Green-haired freak!

-Oh, no, you didn't!

0:17:110:17:14

-Uh-oh.

-You're a green-haired freak now!

0:17:140:17:17

What was Oliver thinking? Kook had lost the plot

0:17:170:17:21

-but the taunting has fired him up again.

-He's got it in for Olly.

0:17:210:17:24

-Splurge!

-You squawk the squawk, you got to walk the walk, little man!

0:17:240:17:29

-Kook's definitely back.

-Jarid grabs the second flag.

-Bogeys!

0:17:290:17:32

Shaiden also defending Kook's honour with a bucket of slime for Olly.

0:17:320:17:36

Jarid makes it to the top and he's the second to escape the stockade.

0:17:360:17:40

-Jeff grabs the third flag.

-What's this? Oliver's nearly finished.

0:17:400:17:43

No, no, he's forgotten to grab a flag! Kook has distracted him!

0:17:430:17:47

Nothing distracting Jeff. He's through to the final.

0:17:470:17:50

Kook doesn't want Olly to go through but he's going for the flag.

0:17:500:17:53

-Kate still after rungs. So is Cole. Is it too late?

-Oliver is climbing!

0:17:530:17:58

-Cole's still building!

-The game is over! We have our finalists!

0:17:580:18:02

-THEY CHEER

-Someone tell Cole it's over.

0:18:020:18:05

-While you're at it, tell Kate, too.

-OLIVER SHOUTS

0:18:050:18:09

-Oliver is still taunting.

-And that could come back to haunt him.

-OK.

0:18:090:18:13

So, confirmation that today's finalists will be John, Jarid,

0:18:150:18:18

Jeff and self-proclaimed taunt-meister, Oliver!

0:18:180:18:21

Doesn't he realise that all six defenders will be waiting for him

0:18:210:18:25

-in the final?

-Come on! When have they ever needed an excuse

0:18:250:18:28

-to give someone a good splat?

-True. But it'll just add to the excitement

0:18:280:18:32

as they do battle over that much-treasured crown.

0:18:320:18:35

Right, you, how about splat-a-stat attack in your splat-a-stat hat?

0:18:360:18:40

Right. Let's start with the facts. John has done well.

0:18:400:18:43

He came third in the moat challenge and then won round two.

0:18:430:18:46

But Jarid is more consistent with a first and second place so far.

0:18:460:18:50

-More stats!

-OK, let's move on to the bad boys!

0:18:500:18:53

Yes, Oliver and Jeff only just scraped into the second round

0:18:530:18:57

and then it all kicked off when Jeff threw that paintball at Kook.

0:18:570:19:00

-Oliver then got mouthy and Kook got splatted.

-More stats!

0:19:000:19:03

All right! The defenders aren't totally blameless, though.

0:19:030:19:06

Gildar offended everyone by taking a nap in round one

0:19:060:19:09

then Kook provoked the attackers by having a tea break in the stockade.

0:19:090:19:12

It's all going to add to the tension in the final.

0:19:120:19:15

-So, let's remind ourselves who those finalists are.

-Yes!

0:19:150:19:18

It's the three Js, John, Jarid and Jeff. Plus an O for Oliver.

0:19:180:19:23

-So that means the OJs are in the final.

-Juicy.

0:19:230:19:25

Yes, but here comes the real juice.

0:19:250:19:27

100 percent pure splat with all the lumpy bits left in.

0:19:270:19:30

It's the defenders, Gildar, Ballista, Kookaburra

0:19:300:19:33

Crocness, Knightriss and Shaiden.

0:19:330:19:35

Here's the capture the crown course in more detail.

0:19:350:19:38

Our brave warriors start with a drop into the mud bath.

0:19:380:19:41

Then over the slippy slides and up the titanic teeter-totters.

0:19:410:19:44

The barrier of all barriers leads to those lovely leaping lily pads.

0:19:440:19:48

Then it's up the water wall where the much-treasure

0:19:480:19:51

-crown of Splatalot awaits.

-There's only one so it's winner takes all!

0:19:510:19:55

The attackers are ready to go. Jeff is in green. Oliver stays orange.

0:19:560:20:00

John with a purple-green combo. And Jarid in pink.

0:20:000:20:03

-Purple feather.

-ALL: Purple feather!

0:20:030:20:07

Who knows what that means? But it doesn't matter.

0:20:070:20:10

-The attackers are into the mud.

-Then a foamy welcome from Knightriss.

0:20:100:20:15

-Yes! Slippy!

-Jeff and Oliver go head-first on the slippy slides.

0:20:150:20:19

Jarid tries the upright approach. Oh!

0:20:190:20:23

This is where the slips and splats really start, at the teeter-totters.

0:20:230:20:26

Down goes Jeff. And down goes John.

0:20:260:20:30

Remember, John won the last round. Distant memory now, eh?

0:20:300:20:33

Crabbles! Crabbles! Sploosh!

0:20:330:20:36

Congratulations on making it this far.

0:20:370:20:40

-Shaiden congratulates Jeff. Into the moat!

-Congratulations, Jarid.

0:20:400:20:44

-Congratulations, Olly.

-Ah, but we must genuinely congratulate John.

0:20:440:20:48

-He's the first to the barrier.

-Ah!

0:20:480:20:50

All right, pink, let's go.

0:20:500:20:53

-Ooh! What's happening?

-Kook aimed for Jarid but hits the camera.

0:20:530:20:57

-Our camera operator chalks up his first splat of the day.

-Upside down.

0:20:570:21:00

A bad villain always blames his splatzooka.

0:21:000:21:03

-John leaps and make it to the lily pad.

-It's hard to see

0:21:030:21:07

but it looks like Knightriss has run out of vapour!

0:21:070:21:09

Basingstoke! Kook hit Knightriss!

0:21:090:21:12

-Yes!

-He hit a fellow defender!

0:21:120:21:15

But he got the vaporiser working again.

0:21:150:21:17

-Jarid's going the wrong way.

-John's one leap nearer the crown.

0:21:170:21:21

-Oh!

-We've got a comedian!

0:21:230:21:25

-Oliver and Kook are at it again. Smelly trouser sprouts!

-Yes!

0:21:250:21:29

-HE LAUGHS

-Kook has the last laugh

0:21:290:21:31

-after Oliver provides his own punchline.

-And check Jeff out.

0:21:310:21:34

-A Splatalot slapstick double act.

-Back to the lily pads.

0:21:340:21:37

John is ahead. Knightriss and Croc pin him down.

0:21:370:21:39

-Jarid teetering but this time he holds on.

-John leaps further ahead!

0:21:390:21:44

The other attackers need to make a move soon or it'll be too late!

0:21:440:21:49

Jarid makes it to the barrier but he needs to have feet firmly planted.

0:21:490:21:53

One more leap for John. And yes! He makes it!

0:21:530:21:57

-He's been leaping like a leaping lizard in a leap year!

-Jarid's off.

0:21:570:22:02

-Ballista with a shot putt splat.

-She misses. John is on the water wall.

0:22:020:22:06

-And even taunting Oliver is lost for words.

-Can anyone stop John now?

0:22:060:22:11

-He's not getting the crown.

-Finally Gildar wakes up!

0:22:110:22:13

The other attackers are still struggling. John is almost there!

0:22:130:22:17

-He's not going to do it.

-Gildar in denial. Oliver in de moat!

0:22:170:22:20

There it is! John reaches and, yes, he has the crown!

0:22:200:22:23

-All hail King John, the new king of Splatalot!

-It's all over.

0:22:230:22:27

The others can do nothing now other than catch their breath.

0:22:270:22:31

-What will the defenders be thinking? Especially Gildar.

-Yeah!

0:22:310:22:35

Told you you'd never get me!

0:22:350:22:37

Well, apart from that last little outburst,

0:22:370:22:39

John was a pretty mild-mannered competitor. Remember his battle cry?

0:22:390:22:43

-I have soft hair!

-So remember, it's sometimes the soft-spoken,

0:22:430:22:47

soft-haired ones you have to look out for.

0:22:470:22:49

-Here's something else to look out for! The splat of the day!

-Splat!

0:22:490:22:53

What makes a splat special? We're always searching for unique splats

0:22:560:23:00

that we've never seen before and may never see again.

0:23:000:23:03

Here's Kook, first to splat a fellow defender. That's why we love him.

0:23:030:23:07

Yes, a truly hysterical moment.

0:23:070:23:09

-Don't you mean historical?

-No, hysterical. This is historical.

0:23:090:23:14

I have soft hair!

0:23:140:23:16

This is how King John's journey began. He sped through the moat.

0:23:160:23:20

He was the first attacker to grab a flag and escape the stockade.

0:23:200:23:23

And despite some early teetering and tottering, he led all the way

0:23:230:23:27

-in his quest to capture the crown.

-Yeah!

0:23:270:23:30

Dom? Where are you? Sorry about this, ladies and gentlemen.

0:23:300:23:34

We'll have plenty more splaterrific entertainment for you next time!

0:23:340:23:38

When I'm sure the defenders will be acting far more professionally

0:23:380:23:42

-than they did in this episode.

-Right, I'm off for a nap.

0:23:420:23:44

-HE BURPS

-Here's the flag ceremony. Oi!

0:23:440:23:48

I am the king of the castle!

0:23:480:23:51

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:23:540:23:58

E-mail [email protected]

0:23:580:24:02

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