Episode 10 Splatalot

Welcome to Splatalot!

The magical, mysterious kingdom that invites ten brave young warriors

to go head to head with those deplorable defenders

as they compete to capture the much-treasured Splatalot crown.

# Nana nana nana nana, Splatman! #

Can the defenders keep the castle safe from the attackers

or will our warriors ultimately find a true champion

to rule the messy Kingdom?

One thing's for certain, there will be tumbling, tilting, teetering

and, above all, splatting.

Hello, I'm Dick. He's Dom.

And this is Splatalot, the kingdom that never tidies up after itself.

I suppose there's no point, is there? It's one splatfest after another.

But with good reason. It's with one goal in mind -

to find a new champion to rule the kingdom.

However, that goal is achieved in a rather splendid and an usual way.

Three challenges await our ten attackers.

All must cross the moat, but only the six fastest

will attempt to ditch the dungeon.

The four who survive that will compete in our final

for the chance to claim the much-treasured Splatalot crown.

So, just pass those teeny little tests

and that shiny new headgear is yours.

Yeah, I think it's a tad harder than that. Let's look at Round One again.

-The attackers are flung from the splatapult.

-No problem!

Up the slippery slope, across the rolling mace

-and down the impossible incline. Beware the splaken!

-Easy peasy.

Then, the beastly battle-axes, the bridge of disaster

and the wavering warheads.

Lemon squeezy!

OK. Get your lemon-sucking face ready.

-It's time to meet the sharp tongued and ever so bitter defenders.

-Ugh!

Yuk! Yes, they're certainly not to everyone's taste.

-In Round One, we have the unsweetened...

-Skabb!

See what I mean?! He's joined by Vane - full of artificial flavours.

Finally, Kookaburra, who's tasteless at the best of times.

-All aboard the Vane train.

-I picture you more of a school bus.

Oh, dear! Let's transport ourselves quickly away to the moat.

Skabb's on the splatzooka, Vane's guarding the battle-axes

and Koo... Eugh! He's picking his nose. Moving on!

Here's our first attacker.

Never mind. It's water!

Yes, Cashmeira, and plenty of it.

Pitter-patter-poo! Cashmeira, who can burp on demand,

gets us off to a very splatty start indeed.

Up the slippery slope but, as you can see,

it's called that for a reason.

-I'm demanding that you burp now!

-Burp!

A-ha. That's clever.

Yes, but she isn't so clever on the mace.

The best plan is to head straight across it, not hang on.

SHE BURPS

-Excuse me!

-How rude!

-You can burp on command? So can I!

-Oh, great!

HE BURPS

Oo-ooh! Meatballs!

Disgusting! I have to say, this round is going downhill very fast.

Just like Cashmeira!

Wottle-bottle!

Well, she crossed the axes really well,

but failed to put on the brakes and down she went.

Onto the bridge now. She's avoided the splaken.

Oh! But can't avoid slipping.

Maybe she was trying to find the gold at the foot of that rainbow.

Well, she needs to concentrate on the crown at the end first.

Onto the warhead now but that shower will make it wet underfoot. Oh!

That was close. But she does slide into the sploosh.

But she eventually reaches the platform with a time of 6.18.

Here's Alexa.

I'm going to rock this castle.

There's only one thing to say - bulging baboon!

Alexa can cope with moat water, but she's less happy about spiders.

That gives me an idea.

Look out, Alexa! It's Spider Splaken!

She's an incy-wincy bit more bothered about the mace roll.

The splaken doesn't get her, but the rolling mace does.

It's proving to be a tricky obstacle today.

BOTH: SPLAKEN!

That was close, but she gets splattered anyway.

Alexa sensed danger, but couldn't avoid a drenching.

However, she finishes

in a respectable time of 5.23.

-Jasmine.

-Jasmine! That's her battlecry?

Well, her friends say she's a diva so I suppose self-promotion is easy.

Unlike crossing the mace roll!

And once again another attacker falls foul of the rolling mace.

We already have one diva in this castle and that's one too many.

I think he's talking about Splaken.

Clever from Skabb there. He distracts and the splaken splats.

She's fine though and finishes in 6.33.

I move like Jagger!

Yes, Brett. And you splat like a Rolling Stone hurled into the moat.

We've got a screamer!

What are her moves like on the mace roll? Sah-boom!

Yes, the magnificent mace manages to keep its perfect record intact.

Up the incline and the splaken's back and is closing in.

SPLAKEN!

The best thing about the splaken is the noise it makes. Listen.

BOING!

Absolutely marvellous!

Brett now at the wavering warhead and she makes it.

A slight stumble but she's over the finish line.

In 3.06. The fastest time yet. Here's Travis.

# Nana nana nana nana, Splatman! #

OK, mate. Bring the superhero to life for us.

Is it a bird, is it a plane? No, it's Splatman.

-Splatman, you're our goggled crusader.

-What's his superpower?

-That - splatting.

-Splatting?

-Yes, it's what Splatman does best.

Holy mace roll, Splatman!

Splatman avoids his arch enemy, the splatty splaken.

But he can't escape the even splattier incline.

Splatman is living up to his name.

Do you have a sidekick that can do the course for you?

Travis does complete the course, but the time of 11.56

might be the end for our superhero.

Well done, Travis. You are splat-tastic!

So we're halfway through Round One.

Six attackers will qualify and there are five more to come.

So, let's check out the leaderboard.

They've done all they can now they just had to sit back

and watch the next five attackers take on the moat challenge.

With the addition of the splaken, this course has been really tricky

so the outcome is far from certain.

One thing is for certain, though, Brett, the leader, is already through

as I shall now demonstrate with this egg box.

It represents the six places on offer for Round Two

and these eggs are the next five attackers.

They go into the box like this, leaving one spare space for Brett.

There she is. Very happy indeed.

Even if all the other attackers are faster than her,

she will still qualify in sixth place.

OK, put her into the box.

Brilliant! You've ruined it now, haven't you?

Look! She's not even smiling any more.

Right, whilst we try and put Brett back together,

let's check out the leaderboard.

The defenders are back in position.

They've been fairly well behaved so far, but that can change.

Here's our next attacker, Keaton.

You'll never make me splat!

Just to prove you wrong, drinky-wonk!

Keaton!

Your heroes are your parents, my heroes are your parents too.

-That makes no sense unless they are brothers.

-I see no resemblance.

Oh! Finally, someone makes it over the mace in one go.

Keaton avoids the splaken and is now safely down the incline.

What's up, dude!?

Heaton clears the first axe and the second, but he's overbalanced

and down!

We see this a lot. Too much momentum and you're in the moat.

I heard that you like animals and people.

Well, I'm a bit of both, my friend.

Keaton ignores Kook's animal antics. Oh!

He was so busy concentrating on his footwork,

he didn't notice the splaken.

Didn't notice it?

That thing has its own gravitational pull!

What are you doing?

Why have you drawn a big face and a pair of wings?

Well, he's not going to miss it now, is he?

Yes, but it looks like something Kook might have dreamt up.

Anyway, back to Keaton, who finished in an amazing 1.45.

He was smiling, now he's just blue.

Rockin' the swag!

-Here comes Chris making steady progress.

-Hey, Chris!

Uncle Foo-Foo!

Fantastic.

Chris loses his footing just at the wrong moment and receives a splat.

Can he clear the mace?

He's slipping and sliding and now he's splatting!

He tried to stay on his feet, but once he grabbed the mace,

he knew he was moat-bound.

Remember, this is all against the clock.

That won't help!

You did that with such grace and swagger.

Well, he may have swagger

but on the incline he also had a touch too much speed,

resulting in this impressive splat.

It looks even more incredible in slow motion.

The time is not too slow,

though, so he'll have a good chance of going through.

Here's Andrew splatterpulting and splatting.

Andrew, what's 3 + 3 - 6?

A maths question at a time like this?

Andrew concentrates on the mace puzzle instead.

Like so many others today, he can't solve it.

We've just heard that 3 + 3 - 6 equals nothing.

So, with nothing to report up here, back to the moat.

Andrew complete his test in 7.42,

which sadly isn't fast enough to qualify.

This is going to be splat-tastic!

I certainly hope so, Grace.

But she's avoided a splat on the incline.

The axes are next and they're always good for splats. Rama-ding-ding!

Grace can't get past the first axe and bounces away into the moat.

Yes, that was splat-tastic in every way.

They should have called you Clumsy, not Grace. You're not graceful.

Kook can be so cruel at times. Look out for the splaken.

Yes, the splaken/bridge combo has worked well for the defenders today.

I suppose Grace saw it coming but what could she do?

She finishes in 7.20, but that's too slow. This is a first.

No battlecry from Craig?

But he give us a yelp as he heads for the moat.

He makes steady progress on the mace roll and he is nearly over.

But, felafel-wrangler!

Keaton's the only one who made it across today.

The mace roll can be pretty proud of itself.

Craig can be proud that his splat was worth seeing several times.

He tackles the axes but they're having none of it. Donkey-swing!

He follows a mace splat with an equally impressive axe splat.

His time isn't impressive so it's goodbye Craig.

Shouldn't that be gooed-bye?

Round One is complete. Our six survivors are:

They must now face a challenge of a slightly different nature.

It's time to Ditch the Dungeon.

And in this round they're no longer against the clock.

They are against each other.

So, we started with 10 and have had to say goodbye to four.

Sadly, Splatman AKA Travis was one of them.

Maybe he just got his name wrong. Perhaps he would have done better

if he'd called himself something more like

Running Round The Moat As Quickly As You Can

-Without Getting Splatted At All Man.

-No.

-Ah.

But now that you mention it,

the moat course was pretty heroic in its defence of the kingdom.

The splaken and bridge of disaster made life difficult

for the attackers and the mace roll was particularly effective.

Yeah, they all found the moat challenge very tricky indeed today.

With two notable exceptions.

Brett finished with an impressive time of 3.06

and Keaton's 1.45 is one of the fastest in Splatalot history.

The next round isn't just about speed though as all six attackers

will be battling with each other for just four places in the final.

Here is a reminder of the six who are going through.

We have Alexa, Keaton, Cashmeira, Brett, Jasmine and Chris.

They all still have a chance to rule this kingdom

but, before they can dream of competing in the final,

they need to escape the very bowels of the castle itself.

Yes, this is Ditch the Dungeon.

The attackers must first escape the stock market then,

once across the splat-walk, they can start climbing the loathsome ladder.

Those that make it to the top can claim one of four flags but,

remember, they'll also have the defenders to contend with.

So, with only four flags,

two of the six attackers won't survive this tricky round.

And it is about to get even trickier.

Bring on the defenders.

I am Thorne.

Yes, he is. And here is Madeva, surprisingly quiet today.

And finally, Faetal, who is also saying nothing.

I know karate.

I know tae kwon do.

I know my foot's going to be upside your head.

It's so much better when they don't speak, don't you think?

Here's Alexa in pink, Keaton in orange and blue, Cashmeira in purple,

Jasmine in green and yellow, Brett in stripes and Chris in blue.

Madeva guards the top of the dungeon.

Thorne and Faetal take the flanks.

Oh, that is clever, isn't it? Oh, careful.

KLAXON BLARES

And they're off.

The attackers rush to the gates and are swiftly through.

That is usually the signal for some froth and Thorne's right on cue.

Yes, let the slipping and sliding commence.

Oh, Brett is the first to go.

-It is foam time. Oh, yes.

-Jasmine.

Jasmine declines to have a chat with Faetal.

I think she is a bit busy right now.

Yes, I think it would be fair to say she is "snowed under".

Madeva bowls a slimeball and splats Jasmine.

Oh, banana! What happened there?

Well, she nudges Keaton then slides straight into Chris

and almost takes out Brett too.

Amazing how one simple, little slip can have such a big impact.

And, after all that, Jasmine is back in the moat.

Thanks for coming, you guys, it was fun.

The attackers aren't finished yet, Faetal.

Thorne froths Brett, Madeva slimeballs her too and she is down.

Good teamwork from the defenders there. Thorne can't budge Keaton.

But Faetal can certainly budge Chris.

Top splatting from Faetal.

It was enough to send Chris, Jasmine and Alexa into the moat.

Stay down.

Madeva targets Cashmeira and splats her.

She slips but not too far.

Here's Brett. She's very near the top.

But Madeva dislodges her with the pokey pike.

I really don't like that kind of defending. It is not nice.

Well, the defenders aren't meant to be nice.

That was splat-tastic.

Faetal now, on the multi-shot splatter-batter.

And she has splatted Jasmine.

Thorne sticks with slime and unsticks Chris.

Nice slide onto the splat-walk there.

Keaton's now on the receiving end of the pokey pike but,

try as she might, Madeva can't shift him.

-Oh, you are holding on.

-So cute. Look at that smile.

Yes, Faetal, but Thorne doesn't do cute

so he just splats Keaton back down the ladder.

And that is quite a journey, which finishes in the milky brew.

The attackers, though, just keep coming back up for more.

Faetal doesn't have a problem with that and splats Alexa.

She takes out Jasmine and they both end up where they started.

It seems to me that the defenders are on top, at this stage.

They were strong in the first round as well

so they'll be proud of this performance so far.

I would just like to point out how much

we hate saying anything nice about the defenders.

Don't worry, though, I'm sure it won't be long

until they do something horrible. Or stupid.

There we go. Sooner than I thought. Thanks, Faetal.

Here comes Keaton.

Thorne's spotted him though and now he is splatting him.

Well, he is back where he started but he is still smiling.

Thorne now turns his slime on Alexa but somehow

she manages to hold on.

However, Madeva chips in again

and that slimeball/slime-stick double act works one more time.

There is a Madeva doing a rather silly dance.

It can only mean one thing. It is time for...

The purple plague.

BOTH: The purple plague!

It looks like the attackers have thought this through.

They've seen the plague and they're staying nice

and safe down on the splat-walk where it can't harm them.

Yes, Madeva has messed up here. She wasted a perfectly good plague.

Thorne's going to have to work extra hard with the slime now.

The attackers are finally getting somewhere.

Get those boys down, Thorne.

Faetal's worried. And she should be. Chris is nearly there.

But Madeva produces the pokey pike and he is down.

So is Keaton and Jasmine

and this time the plague joins them for the ride.

What a shame. It was all looking so promising.

You know, I have just about had it with Madeva and her pokey pike.

Hey, she is one of the bad guys, remember.

She wants you to get all discombobulated.

Well, she has done a good job.

My combobulation is well and truly dissed.

Back to the course. Jasmine slips and takes Cashmeira with her.

After the plague fiasco, I thought the attackers would take control.

But it seems this dungeon can't be ditched.

This looks more promising.

Oh, but, no, this time Thorne sticks his pike in and down go Brett

-and Alexa.

-I think that still leaves Chris up there.

Yes, but Faetal is on to him. And down he goes.

Oh, silly goggles!

The defenders are still on top but Keaton's not beaten.

Faetal tries to hose him down but, no, not this time.

He is there. He is past Madeva and he is through.

Keaton grabs a flag and becomes our first finalist.

Looks like Alexa could be next. She is nearly there.

Here comes Chris too.

Chris, it is ladies' night.

Faetal could be right as Alexa is the first lady through today.

Oh, but Brett might not be joining her.

She slips and will now have to start again.

But she might not have time because the others have nearly finished.

Yes, Jasmine is over. She is our third finalist.

But there is a real race on for the fourth.

Oh, Cashmeira just beats Chris to the flag and he can't believe it.

Access denied, Chris.

But we won't deny Chris his slide of shame.

He was so close but no flag, no final.

And those that do have flags are waving them with pride.

Bad luck, Brett, your journey to the crown is over.

But for these four, their journey is still very much on track.

So, confirmation on our leaderboard that today's

finalists are Alexa, Keaton,

Jasmine and Cashmeira.

Well, that round had everything. Good defending, bad defending

and such determination from the attackers, who just never gave up.

Plus, we had that close call for the final spot.

Chris just missed out to Cashmeira,

-who is one of the three girls in the final.

-Yes, but little Keaton...

-Who hasn't been beaten.

-..might spoil their party.

So, the odds are stacked in favour of a queen today

but nothing is guaranteed in this kingdom other than

the promise of some serious splatting.

To provide you with a more informed view of today's attackers,

we have gone to great lengths investing in the latest technology.

After trying many methods,

we can safely say that the most reliable way to predict

the outcome of the final is to ask him to put this on there.

Go on, splat stats.

After two rounds, Cashmeira and Jasmine have very similar records.

Alexa has done well, posting a third and second place

but the outright favourite is Keaton,

-who has won both the moat challenge and Ditch the Dungeon.

-Interesting.

I'm sure the girls will have something to say about that.

Here is a reminder of today's finalists in action.

We have Alexa, Keaton, Cashmeira and Jasmine.

Awaiting them in the final will be all six of the defenders.

They have done well so far today

but they know it is the next round that really counts.

Here's the course. The attackers start with a trip to the dire mire

and the barrier of all barriers.

They then have to cross the terrifying Ts,

leap onto the scary-go-round, climb over the annihilating arm

-and land on the gruesome twosome.

-The clobbering cannons at next but,

remember, there are splatzookas everywhere.

Then it is down the royal ramps and up the rock wall.

Where the Splatalot crown awaits.

The defenders are in position. They are all looking focused.

Even Skabb and Madeva.

Although Kook doesn't seem too happy with the aqualizer.

The attackers also look ready.

Alexa is in pink, Cashmeira is in purple,

Jasmine is in green and yellow and Keaton is in blue and orange.

KLAXON BLARES

And they're off. First stop, the dire mire.

Oh, and Jasmine is the first to fall foul of the foul water.

Now, this is interesting.

The girls are helping each other over the barrier.

-Cashmeira is first, then it is Jasmine.

-Oh, that is so nice.

They're even helping Keaton.

And then they let him drop in the biggle-boom.

Jasmine takes on the Ts. This is looking good.

Oh, frothy too-too!

Well, she was concentrating so hard, she didn't see the water blast.

Keaton now makes his first tentative steps.

Ladies first, Keaton. Shocking.

Keaton ignored her and he proceeds to cross the Ts with relative ease.

Chivalry is dead.

Manky spuds! I think Cashmeira might agree

after that splat from Vane.

-Well, he is not here to make friends.

-That's for sure.

There's Keaton with that winning smile of his.

I would imagine he'll keep smiling if he stays in the lead.

The girls are at the Ts but he is now at the annihilating arm.

Alexa tries to crawl her way over. It seems to be working.

Meanwhile, Keaton's cleared the arm

and is heading for the gruesome twosome.

Cashmeira makes it onto the Ts and bumps into Alexa.

They both survive but now Jasmine decides to join the T party.

Alexa helps out by making it safely over.

Cashmeira is not so lucky though.

Back to Keaton. He is about to make his big leap

-and he lands.

-Fantastic.

-He really is unstoppable right now.

-Steady, the final is not over yet.

Back to the Ts. Jasmine makes it but now needs to play catch up.

I'm your friendly neighbourhood Thorne.

He is no friend of Keaton's

cos now the poor lad will have to make that leap again.

Here is Cashmeira, clearing the Ts.

I'm so proud of Cashmeira.

I'm more like a Lycra kind of guy.

Something more form-fitting, you know?

That's a lot of form to fit, Vane.

Back to the action.

Keaton leaps again but this time he can't hold on.

You have got to feel sorry for him. His earlier attempt was textbook.

Yes, but then Thorne splatted him. Rules is rules.

That's truth, justice and the Splatalot way.

Harsh but fair from Thorne.

Now, all this means the girls could catch Keaton up.

Cashmeira deals with the water blast and heads for the arm.

The defenders try to splat her but she's made it and clings on.

-Kook's spotted someone.

-I think it is Alexa.

But she hides under the arm and then picks up Cashmeira on the way.

Well, how nice. And, look, they have even got time for a lovely chat

despite the defenders pelting them with goo grenades.

Jasmine is now at the arm.

The other two are fast approaching but disaster is averted.

Keaton is still out in front.

Oh, wrong auntie!

Yes, the problem with being in the lead is that

you're usually the first to be clobbered by the cannons.

The girls finally go their separate ways.

Cashmeira's already cleared the arm

so she's heading for the gruesome twosome.

Billy bongos! Nearly, Cashmeira. But not near enough.

Jasmine leaps now and, yes, she just about hangs on.

This race is now wide open.

Cashmeira approaches the very tricky cannons.

Skabb seems distracted though.

And, unbelievably, Cashmeira makes it through.

Madeva eventually tried sliming her.

But why didn't she use the cannons? And what was Skabb up to?

Well, I'm sure the other defenders will be pretty disappointed

-with both of them.

-Cashmeira far from disappointed.

She is on to the royal ramps.

Keaton tries the cannons again and, this time, they work perfectly.

His final has really taken a dive.

Cashmeira leaps, she is onto the wall.

The defenders need to act quickly.

Stop winning!

It might take a little more than shouting, Kook.

Looks like Skabb's trying to make up for his earlier mistake.

But he is too late. Cashmeira is over.

She takes the crown. It's official.

We have ourselves a new queen.

The defenders look deflated in defeat.

Skabb and Madeva just look ashamed.

At least the other attackers can now catch their breath.

I am the queen of Splatalot!

Our new ruler seems pretty exhausted too.

So, congratulations to Queen Cashmeira.

And commiserations to the other attackers.

Especially Keaton, who had a great last round.

I'm sure the defenders

will want a word with Madeva and Skabb after that final.

To be fair, the odd error adds to the whole fun.

Yes, from tiny acorn mistakes grow giant oaks of splattiness.

Is that your ham-fisted way of saying

it's time for Splat Of The Day?

Yes, please.

And it comes from unbeaten Keaton,

who was a great attacker with a winning smile and winning ways.

Don't forget, he won the first two challenges but he did come

second-best to the mighty splaken in Round One.

Back to Queen Cashmeira and her journey to the crown.

She splatted her way through the first two rounds and,

although the final was tough, she never looked like giving up.

She greeted every splat like a long-lost friend

and then scaled the heights to become our new ruler.

So, let's head back to the castle to hear from the lady herself.

My first act as Queen of Splatalot,

I will have one of you thrown into the moat.

I wish it could be all of you,

but today it will be you, Madeva.

Oh!

Well, that has gone down pretty well.

Yes, the other defenders seem pretty happy with that.

Although they're probably just relieved they weren't chosen.

What a fantastic tournament.

I mean, we've had three dramatic rounds

full of mess, mirth and mayhem.

We have crowned a new queen to rule this majestic land.

And Madeva is about to get soaked.

It doesn't get any better than that, does it?

Yeah. We'll have plenty more splatty action for you soon.

But, for now, we will leave you with the splatapult ceremony.

Take it away, Madeva.

That's all for now. So, until next time...

BOTH: Keep splatting!

Oh! No, you didn't!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd