Episode 9 Splatalot


Episode 9

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Transcript


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It's splat time!

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Yes, welcome to Splatalot -

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the magical, messy kingdom where ten brave young warriors

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go head-to-head with those despicable defenders

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as they compete to capture the much-treasured Splatalot crown.

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OK, that's cool. No, it's not!

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Can the defenders keep the castle safe from the attackers

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or will our young warriors find a true champion to rule the kingdom?

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Oh, I love my job.

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One thing is for sure, there will be the odd tumble,

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the occasional tilt, a hint of teeter and a whole load of splat.

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-Hello, I'm Dick.

-I'm Dom.

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-And this is Splatalot.

-That's right.

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Not splat a little or splat a medium amount. It's Splatalot.

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Yes, and you won't find another show with more splats per minute

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or more splats per square centimetre.

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And that is because of the three amazing courses

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that are located in the castle grounds.

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All ten attackers will attempt to cross the merciless moat.

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The fastest six well then try to Ditch The Dungeon

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but only four will survive.

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They will head to the final and, after a huge splat battle,

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one worthy attacker will emerge with the Splatalot crown.

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Let's take a closer look at that first round.

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The moat challenge starts with the splatapult.

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Which hurls the attackers up in the air

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and towards this target in the moat.

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Then it is up the slippery slope and onto the mace.

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The spikes and blades look simply divine in the sunshine.

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Then it's down the impossible incline and onto the beastly battle-axes.

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And to ensure we get our fair share of splats,

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the water blast is on stand by.

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The wobbly bridge of disaster follows,

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which has to be crossed in order to reach

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the even wobblier wavering warhead,

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the final obstacle before the finish line

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and a well-earned breather.

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It's pretty exhausting just describing it.

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Well, there is no time to rest just yet

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cos we have got the you-know-whos to introduce.

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Oh, yes, I do know whos.

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The defenders. All six will be featuring in the final

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but defending the moat we have this terrifying trio.

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The feather-flaunting taunter Kookaburra.

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The scary, single-minded, straight talking splat-meister Skabb.

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And, finally, the knight who makes our day, Madeva.

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Oh, splat no!

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I'm going to make you my little bwazzo!

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What were you saying at the end there? Cross... Crass...

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-Bwazzo.

-Wax on?

-Wah?

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Yeah, she might make our day but she is not exactly clear as day.

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All right, let's do this.

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So, Kook's on the aqualizer, Madeva's on the hand-held splatzooka

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and Skabb's on the big daddy splatzooka.

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Here is attacker number one, Emily.

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I didn't know there was water involved.

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-OK, let's call the whole thing off.

-Too late.

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Grobby fish tank!

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Let's capture that moment

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when aspiring model Emily spots the water.

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There it is.

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And there's the water.

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Hey, Emily, camera's right here.

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Tinkering oaf!

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Well, it didn't take Skabb long to find his aim.

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Looks like Emily didn't know there were going to be splats either.

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Down the incline and, oh, yester-dangle!

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Not exactly her finest moment.

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Unless she wanted to be in Bad Balance Weekly,

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my favourite mag.

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I thought you subscribed to Bad Gag Daily.

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Back to Emily at the bridge, which Kook is guarding.

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This is going to be a splat-walk.

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I want you to show me a little something.

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Right leg, left leg, right leg, left leg, that's it.

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Oh, slippy, grippy... splatty!

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-Here's another one for you.

-Please, don't.

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Look, she is on the front cover of Splattery Fair.

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And here is her photo finish.

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5.36 should see Emily through to Round Two.

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Pablo is named after apples.

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Oh, what is that under Collin's nose?

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It's all right, I don't think anyone's noticed.

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Collin, I moustache you a question.

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Or shall I shave it for later?

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Do you still think no-one's noticed?

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Maybe just Skabb. Collin, down the incline.

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He is for the axes but... provisional Plunkett!

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Something tells me that didn't go to plan.

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Collin overbalanced and reached out for some help

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but the battle-axes aren't really helpful type.

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But he is back up and ready to try again.

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Hey, Collin, look at me. Oh! Oh!

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Oh, dear. Madeva is starting with the tache taunts.

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I'm sure Collin will just turn his nose up at her.

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Blobby porridge!

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That was an amazing splat.

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He tried to ignore Madeva's moustache mischief

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-but then it all just got a bit hairy.

-Don't you start.

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The poor lad has just done an incredible cartwheel into the moat.

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Give him a break.

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It like to but I don't think that time of 9.07 will cut it.

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Well, at least that might mean he won't have to suffer any more

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bad tache attacks.

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I quite liked the boy. He had style.

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Thanks, Kookaburra. Can we move on, please?

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Here is our next splatapulting attacker, Summer.

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Destroy you!

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Destroy you?

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That's not exactly my idea of a typical summer.

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Oh, jam-jam kisser!

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That's more like it. Now we have got a wet summer.

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The replay shows just what those spikes on the mace are for.

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They're trip, slip, splat hazards.

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Yes, everything on this course

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is designed to keep the splat count high.

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On to the bridge of disaster now. Will she destroy it?

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Starts slowly and steadily but ends splattily.

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Your parents should have called you Fall, not Summer.

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I think she means fall as in autumn. Or fall as in aw-fall joke.

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Either way, Summer has managed to spring over the finish line

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but she won't win-ter-day with that time of 8.41.

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Your half-baked jokes really need some seasoning.

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Poopsie corn!

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Nic wants to be a director.

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Films or traffic?

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Hello, Nic. I would like to audition for you.

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You be Romeo, I'll be Juliet.

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Romeo, Romeo, you're so handsome.

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I like your helmet.

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Kook's gone a bit off script.

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Your line. You missed your line.

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Kook's improvised audition seems to have thrown Nic completely.

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Script! We'll go from the top.

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No, Kook, we'll cut to the credits.

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Not quite star billing for Nic but 7.08 night be good enough.

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I don't have a war cry.

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Oh, that is a very clever war cry, Jordan.

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No, didn't you hear him? He said he didn't have one.

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Pull!

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Jordan flies, Skabb fires and the slimeball misses. Unusual.

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-Skabb is not doing very well today, Madeva.

-You wasn't even close.

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But it wasn't that easy a splat. I'm sure... Oh, missed again.

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-What have you got to say about that, Skabb?

-Aargh!

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Jordan is at the axes but still within Skabb's range.

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Aaargh! Aw!

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-I quit. I give up.

-I don't think he meant that, Skabb fans.

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Are there any Skabb fans?

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-Jordan's down.

-No more defending for me. Time out. No more.

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Well, a double whammy.

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Skabb has quit and Jordan is the fastest so far.

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Come on, Jordan, show me how you get down.

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He may be the fastest but I don't think he is the grooviest.

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Now he is the gooiest.

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So, halfway and Jordan leads with 3.17,

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followed by Emily, Nic, Summer and Collin,

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who is in fifth place with 9.07.

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-Aargh!

-Here, what was that?

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Oh, look, it's Skabb on the splatzooka. Whoa!

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You know, it's a shame he has quit. I'm really going to miss him.

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-Yeah.

-Ooh!

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He's not exactly missing you, is he?

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So, can the next five attackers do better than the first five?

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And who is going to replace Skabb? Only Splatalot has the answers.

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So, we're halfway through Round One.

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Six attackers will progress to the next stage.

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With only five more to come,

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we can safely say that our current leader Jordan has already qualified.

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But, as we can see, that hasn't been the only talking point as

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Skabb has left the show.

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Yeah, and I, for one, will be glad to see the back of him.

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-What about the front of him? Aargh!

-Aargh! Skabb!

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Mr Skabb, to you.

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Mr Skabb, we thought you had quit the show.

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Yes, but now I'm un-quitting.

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When I saw your earlier, I thought, "OK, one last splat then I'll go."

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But then I realised I was born to do this so I am back.

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Skabb rules! Aaargh!

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Well, that was the shortest resignation in history.

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-Aargh!

-Oh!

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Time for the leaderboard, I think.

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Jordan is safely through to the next round with 3.17

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but all Emily, Nic, Summer and Collin can do is wait to see

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if their times are going to be good enough.

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The defenders are out on the moat.

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Kook's on the aqualizer, Madeva's on the slimy slicer,

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and look who it is back on the splatzooka.

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Here's Mai.

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Let's get this party started!

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Over to you, Skabb.

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Pull!

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Finally. There we go.

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Ah, Skabb is back in the zone. Great.

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Hey, you should take all the credit for his return to form.

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If he hadn't used you for target practice,

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-he might have left the show.

-Please don't mention it ever again.

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Me father!

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Oh, and another me father!

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I don't believe it, a third me father!

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A fourth me father and here goes another - a fifth me father.

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Have we finished now with the me fathers?

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Yes, absolutely, we have finished now. Me father!

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Oh, and after all that me fathering,

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Mai might be in a little bit of trouble with that time of 10:43.

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Have some of that, Mai.

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The next attacker, Tyrell, is already on the mace.

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Sorry, no, already off the mace.

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Here is his battle cry.

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I like trains.

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-I like drains?

-I like trains.

-Good for you.

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But why does Tyrell like drains?

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Madeva. Yeah. This train has only one stop and that is splat town.

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Swut-nuts!

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On the money.

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Tyrell decides to get out of splat town on the incline express

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but...sweet baby flip-flops!

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Yes, sadly for Tyrell, the incline express was heading

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directly for moatsville which is a place none of us want to visit.

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But with that excellent time of 4.15,

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Tyrell will be a paying a visit to Round Two.

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Here's our next attacker, Alanna.

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I'm the queen of the castle and you're the dirty rascals!

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How rude. But accurate.

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Alana's got the battleaxes and Madeva to contend with.

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You know what that is, girl? That is my limeade.

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Surely she means slimeade.

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When life gives you lemons, make limeade, child.

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Or, when life gives you Madeva, make for the moat.

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Yes, with Madeva making no sense whatsoever,

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-Alanna decides the safest place is underwater.

-She's soon back up.

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-G'day, gorgeous. You look great in purple.

-Thank you.

-How do I look?

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Green isn't your colour.

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OK, that's cool. No, it's not!

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Oh, Kook's not happy and that results in a trip to the moat.

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So close yet so far. You should have been nice to me.

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It's not her job to be nice to you, Kook.

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It's her job to make it to Round Two and with 4.45 she has.

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Nice one, Alanna.

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My green is better than Kook's!

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Easy, Victoria, Kook's not in a good mood right now.

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Great take-off from the splatapult.

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Not too sure about the landing, though.

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G'day, Vicky. You know, Vicky,

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I found all the best things in life are green.

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Am I right? Me, broccoli, what else?

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You, trees, boogers.

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Boogers? Kook, of course, means...

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BOTH: Bogies!

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Hang on, if I quickly draw a nose here

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then look what Vicky becomes.

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Atchoo!

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Disgusting!

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Back to Victoria and 8.17 could be good enough to qualify.

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Let's have some victory goo then.

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Blue? What is good that's blue?

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What did you say?

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Awkward.

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Here is our final attacker Joshua, who survives one slip on the mace

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but not the next.

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Punky-boo-boo!

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Mashed potatoes!

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If that battle cry doesn't terrify the defenders,

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I don't know what will.

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When he's not being splatted, Joshua builds computers.

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Oh, why did you say computers? We've crashed.

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Might I suggest control alt delete?

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-OK, Skabb. Control alt delete.

-No, don't! Oh, great.

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You've gone all blurry, you're all pixelated. Change your resolution.

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-We can't see anything.

-How do we do that?

-I don't know.

-Kook?

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Go to settings and go to functions.

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Control tab escape.

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Are you double clicking?

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-No.

-That's the problem.

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Ah. Oh.

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What a way to reboot. Poor young Joshua had been left hanging

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but when the game restarted, he was left in a 360 spin, slip, splat.

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And, despite all the technical glitches,

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Joshua completed the course in 6.22.

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So, what does alt shift escape do?

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Ah, now I know.

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So, Round One is complete and the six fastest attackers are Jordan,

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Tyrell, Alanna,

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Emily, Joshua

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and Nic.

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Right, we'd better get this fixed before Round Two. Not you as well.

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Sorry, he appears to be buffering.

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OK, well, I'm sure the normal service of slips, splats

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and balls of doom will resume right after we get onto the IT helpline.

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Luvvie, luvvie, don't worry,

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-they're sending over a computer boffin right now.

-Good day, sir.

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-Ah, about time.

-How can I be of service?

-It's my friend.

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-He is buffering.

-Maybe you have insufficient bandwidth.

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Have you, per chance, contacted your Internet service provider?

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We haven't got any time. Look, we are making a TV show.

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-Is there anything you can do right now?

-Might I suggest the following?

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-Would you mind awfully?

-What? Oh.

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Aaargh!

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Get off!

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-Oh, that's brilliant.

-Thank you.

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Before you go, is there anything you can do about this?

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Have you tried turning it off and on again? Good day to you.

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-Very familiar, that fellow.

-Right, where were we?

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Oh, yes, time to look at the leaderboard.

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So, let's reveal the course that stands between them and the final.

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It's called Ditch The Dungeon and this is how it works.

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Before ascending the loathsome ladder, the attackers must escape

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the stock market and then make their way over the slippery splat-walk.

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It is then time to climb that ladder and escape the dungeon.

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But in their way will be three defenders

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with a host of slimy weaponry.

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They will be trying to stop the attackers escaping the dungeon

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and claiming one of four flags, each representing a place in the final.

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Now, the defenders had quite a first round.

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First, threats of resignation and then a computer master class.

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So, what will the next three bring to the table?

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Well, this guy normally brings a snack, it's...

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Vane.

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Then we have smiley on the outside, slimy on the inside...

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Faetal.

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And finally, he's pricklier than

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a porcupine eating an unpeeled pineapple...

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Thorne!

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-Time to defend!

-Oi!

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Did you say soy?

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Well, they look about as ready as they'll ever be.

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In the stock market, we have Jordan, Tyrell,

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Nic, Alanna, Josh and Emily. All ready to go.

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Thorne is also ready,

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Faetal is as keen as ever and even Vane looks focused.

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KLAXON BLARES

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And they're off. The attackers break free and Thorne starts frothing.

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They now force the gates open and the splat-walk awaits.

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You know what they say about me, kids. I'm bad to the foam.

0:13:350:13:39

I think that's Tyrell.

0:13:390:13:40

Tyrell, slow down, man, what are you doing?

0:13:400:13:42

Tyrell has made a good start but that's just drawn attention to him

0:13:420:13:45

and that is the last thing he wants.

0:13:450:13:46

It is probably the last thing the other attackers want either.

0:13:460:13:49

See what I mean?

0:13:490:13:50

Yes, they are directly in his splat-stream, so to speak.

0:13:500:13:53

And Tyrell has no choice but to take them all on a trip to the moat.

0:13:530:13:57

Splat-stream - I like it.

0:13:570:13:58

But slipstream also works pretty well on this course.

0:13:580:14:02

-Emily, what is that smell your wearing?

-I smell good, OK.

0:14:020:14:06

-How is this for being fragrant?

-Prawn-sniff!

0:14:060:14:09

Thorne goos Emily but she stands firm.

0:14:090:14:11

Unlike the rest, who all cascade back down the loathsome ladder.

0:14:110:14:14

Faetal now tries to dislodge her.

0:14:140:14:16

Oh, no, not my face.

0:14:160:14:17

This time, Emily can't hold on and down she goes,

0:14:170:14:20

joining Jordan in the bilge.

0:14:200:14:21

Let's recapture the moment for her.

0:14:210:14:23

Smiley, slippy, slidey, splatty, moaty.

0:14:230:14:26

Joshua climbs but he has lost his grip and he takes Jordan with him.

0:14:260:14:30

Jordan just can't keep out the water.

0:14:300:14:32

Tyrell, making steady progress.

0:14:320:14:35

Tyrell, have I got a ball for you?

0:14:350:14:37

Oh, no, it's the...

0:14:370:14:39

BOTH: Ball of doom!

0:14:390:14:41

Ooh-ooh!

0:14:410:14:43

But the doom ball express hasn't derailed Tyrell.

0:14:430:14:45

Tyrell!

0:14:450:14:46

Slow down, bro, this isn't a race.

0:14:460:14:48

It is to me.

0:14:480:14:49

-Well said, Tyrell.

-Of course it's a race, Vane.

0:14:490:14:51

Faetal now using the pokey pike, which, I have to say,

0:14:510:14:54

I don't agree with. And poor Tyrell is back where he started.

0:14:540:14:57

Emily and Josh take the lead. Oh, but Josh is down.

0:14:570:15:00

And he collides with Nic.

0:15:000:15:01

Yes, Joshua slips but I think Faetal's slimeball was

0:15:010:15:04

heading for him anyway.

0:15:040:15:05

And then the unsuspecting Nic gets caught up

0:15:050:15:07

in Joshua's downward journey.

0:15:070:15:08

Get another ball of doom, Faetal.

0:15:080:15:11

Do these things just grow on trees?

0:15:110:15:13

BOTH: Ball of doom!

0:15:130:15:14

Emily, I'm just trying to hold you off, you stink!

0:15:170:15:19

Vane's taunts and splats have no impact on Emily.

0:15:190:15:21

But they do on Jordan.

0:15:210:15:23

And he, in turn, takes out Alanna and almost Joshua as well.

0:15:230:15:26

Whoa, good leap from Josh to avoid the oncoming splat.

0:15:260:15:29

Emily is almost at the top.

0:15:290:15:30

Oh, but that extra surge of water stops her.

0:15:300:15:32

Oh, I love my job.

0:15:320:15:33

I don't get paid but I love it.

0:15:330:15:35

It is Jordan's job to get the top of the dungeon.

0:15:350:15:38

But just look at this water and now slime too.

0:15:380:15:40

He slips and there he goes.

0:15:400:15:41

In fact, it's a Splatalot. All of the attackers are down.

0:15:410:15:45

You guys are doing great. The point is to take as long as possible.

0:15:450:15:50

Faetal, you're not helping.

0:15:500:15:52

Nic is now in the lead, followed by Alanna.

0:15:520:15:54

Once again, they are blasted and soaked with slime.

0:15:540:15:56

Faetal resorts to the pokey pike again

0:15:560:15:58

but she can't stop both of them and Alanna's through.

0:15:580:16:00

Yes, Alanna is our first finalist. And Nic also makes it across.

0:16:000:16:04

The defenders are in disarray as Tyrell makes his move.

0:16:040:16:07

But he slips, leaving Emily and Jordan to claim the last two places.

0:16:070:16:10

-Poor Tyrell, so close.

-And that is it.

0:16:100:16:13

We have our four finalists so Round Two is complete.

0:16:130:16:16

Thorne smells defeat.

0:16:160:16:17

And Josh is off his feet as he takes the slide of a shame.

0:16:170:16:20

They have every right to be happy.

0:16:200:16:21

You have got to feel sorry for the losers, though.

0:16:210:16:23

Especially Tyrell.

0:16:230:16:25

So, let's get confirmation of that result on our leaderboard.

0:16:250:16:28

Our four finalists today are

0:16:280:16:31

Alanna, Nic, Emily and Jordan.

0:16:310:16:33

-What a great round.

-I've still got a problem with that pokey pike.

0:16:330:16:36

It gives the defenders an unfair advantage.

0:16:360:16:38

As opposed to the slime, water torrents and balls of doom?

0:16:380:16:41

-Fair point.

-Well, actually, it's an unfair point. That's my point.

0:16:410:16:44

I mean, what is fair about the final round?

0:16:440:16:46

The odds are stacked heavily against the attackers

0:16:460:16:48

but I think that just makes them even more heroic.

0:16:480:16:51

OK, it is time for a splat stat attack. Take it away, you.

0:16:530:16:56

Emily and Nic have the worst records going into the final, with

0:16:560:17:00

Emily just slightly ahead. But Alanna and Jordan can't be separated.

0:17:000:17:04

They have both won a round and they have both finished third,

0:17:040:17:06

-making them joint favourites.

-How exciting.

0:17:060:17:09

I'll tell you what, I will cheer on Alanna and you can support Jordan.

0:17:090:17:12

-All right. Pie in the face for the loser.

-OK. Deal.

0:17:120:17:14

OK, so our finalists, once again are:

0:17:140:17:17

Four brave and bold attackers

0:17:190:17:21

but there can be only one winner.

0:17:210:17:22

-You say can only be one winner.

-Yes, I just did.

0:17:220:17:25

But what if no-one manages to finish?

0:17:250:17:27

Then, I suppose, technically, the defenders will have won

0:17:270:17:30

so, one way or another, there will definitely be a winner.

0:17:300:17:32

Can you imagine how smug they'd be if they did win?

0:17:320:17:34

Oh, please, they wouldn't stop going on about it for weeks.

0:17:340:17:37

It would be terrible. All six defend the final course,

0:17:370:17:39

which looks like this.

0:17:390:17:40

Surprise! Yes, the final is at night.

0:17:400:17:42

Which is great for two reasons.

0:17:420:17:44

The course looks amazing plus it is way past our bedtimes.

0:17:440:17:47

The attackers start in the dire mire,

0:17:470:17:49

home of the barrier of all barriers.

0:17:490:17:50

Then it is a teetering trip across those terrifying Ts,

0:17:500:17:53

which are a hop, step and splat away from the spinning scary-go-round.

0:17:530:17:56

Once on board, the attackers have to get up

0:17:560:17:58

and over the annihilating arm before landing on the gruesome twosome.

0:17:580:18:02

Then they have to tiptoe carefully past the incredibly crafty

0:18:020:18:05

clobbering cannons and head down the royal ramps.

0:18:050:18:07

The slippery rock wall is then all that stands between Alanna

0:18:070:18:11

-and the majestic Splatalot crown.

-I think you mean Jordan.

0:18:110:18:13

To be fair, there are four finalists. And here they are.

0:18:130:18:16

Jordan is in orange,

0:18:160:18:18

Emily is in pink,

0:18:180:18:19

Nic's in the green and yellow

0:18:190:18:20

and Alanna's in purple.

0:18:200:18:21

The defenders are prepping their weapons.

0:18:210:18:24

-Hang on, who's that with Faetal?

-He looks familiar.

0:18:240:18:27

But the final's under way.

0:18:270:18:28

Through the moat mist, the attackers approach the dire mire.

0:18:280:18:31

Emily is first over the barrier.

0:18:310:18:32

Nic's not far behind but the others are struggling.

0:18:320:18:34

Emily has the early lead.

0:18:340:18:36

Emily, you have to do a splat-walk across the Ts.

0:18:360:18:41

-It's all in the hips, girl!

-Like this.

-It's all in your hips.

0:18:410:18:44

Emily needs to ignore all that nonsense.

0:18:440:18:45

Gravity limpet!

0:18:450:18:48

Nic's turn. Well, that didn't last long.

0:18:480:18:51

Here's Jordan and he bravely leaps and boldly splats.

0:18:510:18:55

Finally, Alanna has a go.

0:18:550:18:57

Oh, hopple-jeff!

0:18:570:18:59

Well, all four attackers have tackled the Ts but no-one's triumphed yet.

0:18:590:19:02

That was a pretty triumphant splat, though, from Alanna.

0:19:020:19:05

Jordan tries again. This looks promising and, yes, he is over.

0:19:060:19:10

Alanna is hot on his heels but she can't follow in his footsteps.

0:19:100:19:14

My, these attackers are taking their fair time.

0:19:140:19:16

-Isn't that right, Faetal?

-Skabb, why do you have a moustache on?

0:19:160:19:19

Oh, no, no, no. By day, I am Skabb. By night, I am Skabbington.

0:19:190:19:24

-Hey, that is the guy who fixed you earlier.

-Chortle, chortle.

0:19:240:19:27

I like him.

0:19:270:19:29

Well, Skabbington has allowed Alanna over the Ts.

0:19:290:19:31

And Nic's at the annihilating arm.

0:19:310:19:33

-Are you going to defend like Skabb?

-Absolutely, my dear.

0:19:330:19:35

He's more polite than Skabb. What's his aim like, though?

0:19:350:19:38

Incoming!

0:19:380:19:40

Shepton Mallet! Just the same. And Nic lands in the moat.

0:19:400:19:43

Emily just about makes it over the Ts.

0:19:430:19:45

So, with all four attackers over, this final is still wide open.

0:19:450:19:48

Alanna's at the annihilating arm.

0:19:480:19:50

She grabs hold of it and now she needs to climb over.

0:19:500:19:53

But no, she is moatward bound.

0:19:530:19:55

Oh, and Jordan is also blocked by the arm.

0:19:550:19:57

-Do you get anything for a pair in this game?

-No.

0:19:570:20:00

Emily's turn to try the arm.

0:20:000:20:02

She leaps and now sort of hangs on

0:20:020:20:03

and now sort of slips and splats.

0:20:030:20:05

If you look at those splats from another angle,

0:20:050:20:07

we can see our three attackers who are about to deal with the arm.

0:20:070:20:10

Alanna gets the elbow and, almost immediately,

0:20:100:20:12

Jordan is dealt with in the same offhand manner.

0:20:120:20:14

And finally, Emily's given the cold shoulder and a cold bath, to boot.

0:20:140:20:18

Well, this is a rare moment on Splatalot.

0:20:180:20:20

All four attackers are on the scary-go-round at the same time

0:20:200:20:23

There must be 50 ways to splat your attacker.

0:20:230:20:25

Thorne's let loose with the vaporisers.

0:20:250:20:28

Nic leaps and...bang-widget!

0:20:280:20:30

Jordan's next. That fog won't help. Oh, no, he's down too.

0:20:300:20:34

Hello, sir, I'm terribly sorry.

0:20:340:20:36

Nic gets a well-mannered goo grenade from Skabbington.

0:20:360:20:39

Alanna's turn now on the gruesome twosome.

0:20:390:20:41

No, she will have to try again after Emily has had her go.

0:20:410:20:44

Hello, sir. Goodbye.

0:20:440:20:45

Well, that wasn't very gentlemanly, was it?

0:20:450:20:47

Here is Emily. Gorgonzola-bud!

0:20:470:20:50

Well, Emily landed on her own two feet which, in this instance,

0:20:500:20:53

was probably the worst thing to do. Or the best, if you are a splat fan.

0:20:530:20:56

Good point.

0:20:560:20:57

Anyway, she has moved on to the clobbering cannons.

0:20:570:21:00

-Aaargh!

-What was that?

0:21:000:21:02

For a moment there it was like Skabb was back on the course.

0:21:020:21:05

Emily is now in the lead. She takes a leap and is on to the royal ramps.

0:21:050:21:08

It's time for your late-night snack.

0:21:080:21:11

Thanks, Vane.

0:21:110:21:12

-Emily's really paying the price for being out in front.

-Sink plunger!

0:21:120:21:16

Alanna is clobbered!

0:21:160:21:18

-Emily is about to leap onto the rock wall.

-And, yes, she has made it.

0:21:180:21:22

She is a short but slippery climb away from victory.

0:21:220:21:24

Give me, like, an angry tiger.

0:21:240:21:27

Brilliant, Emily, but don't listen to Kook, he's trying to put you off.

0:21:270:21:30

Hey, here comes my man Jordan. This final is not over yet.

0:21:300:21:33

Remember, if he wins, you get pied!

0:21:330:21:34

Well, my girl Alanna is still in the game too.

0:21:340:21:37

Look, she's on the ramps.

0:21:370:21:38

-Yeah!

-Give me one more wave to the camera, girl. Oh, yeah.

0:21:380:21:41

Oh, that could be the first royal wave of our new queen,

0:21:410:21:43

-captured for posterity.

-It is. Emily is over.

0:21:430:21:46

And the crown is in the hands and we have a new Queen of Splatalot.

0:21:460:21:50

Lord Skabbington approves. And Kook's still taking photos.

0:21:500:21:53

Smile, Your Majesty. Lovely.

0:21:530:21:55

Well played to the brave attackers

0:21:550:21:57

but they lost to a young lady who simply refused to give up.

0:21:570:22:00

Yeah, Queen Emily defeated all,

0:22:000:22:02

including our joint favourites Jordan and Alana.

0:22:020:22:04

Which means she rules the kingdom.

0:22:040:22:06

She does. But who rules the splats?

0:22:060:22:08

Our splat of the day comes from Collin.

0:22:100:22:12

Back in Round One, the battle-axes bamboozled him

0:22:120:22:15

-so much that he ended up head over heels in the moat.

-Thanks, Collin.

0:22:150:22:19

You may not have won Splatalot, but you are a winner to us.

0:22:190:22:21

Talking of winners, I suppose we just forget

0:22:210:22:24

all about our little Jordan/Alanna pie challenge, eh?

0:22:240:22:27

Ahem.

0:22:270:22:29

Sorry, chaps, you both lost. Here is Emily's journey to the crown.

0:22:290:22:32

Toodle-pip!

0:22:320:22:34

Her journey didn't start too well.

0:22:340:22:35

I didn't know there was water involved.

0:22:350:22:38

But she soon became best friends with the moat

0:22:380:22:40

and even took a shine to the slime.

0:22:400:22:41

She only just scraped through in Round Two,

0:22:410:22:43

finishing equal third and was also a slow starter in the final.

0:22:430:22:46

But she dug deep and made it to the rock wall first and,

0:22:460:22:49

after that, she was picture perfect.

0:22:490:22:51

All hail Queen Emily.

0:22:510:22:52

My first act as Queen of Splatalot

0:22:520:22:55

is to throw one of you into the swamp.

0:22:550:22:57

I wish I could do it to all of you but, tonight, it is

0:22:570:23:00

going to be you, Skabb.

0:23:000:23:03

-Who's Skabb?

-Where is he?

-Hold on a second.

-Skabb!

0:23:030:23:08

Skabbington was Skabb all along.

0:23:080:23:10

-I feel such a fool.

-It was that cunning disguise.

0:23:100:23:14

We'll have plenty more splats for you next time, but for now

0:23:140:23:17

we will leave you with Skabb on the scary-go-round.

0:23:170:23:19

Chortle, chortle, tsk, tsk!

0:23:190:23:21

If he had behaved more like Skabbington

0:23:210:23:23

then maybe he wouldn't have been picked.

0:23:230:23:25

Skabb rules!

0:23:250:23:26

-We'll seen you soon.

-But, until then...

0:23:260:23:28

BOTH: Keep splatting!

0:23:280:23:30

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