Episode 20 Splatalot

-Welcome to...

-BOTH:

-Splatalot!

The magical and mysterious kingdom

that invites ten brave young warriors to go head to head

with those despicable defenders, as they compete to capture

the greatest treasure in the land - the Splatalot crown!

This one's for my nerd herd!

Can the defenders keep the castle safe from the attackers

or will our young warriors overcome every hurdle

and ultimately find a true champion to rule this messy kingdom?

Who will tumble? Who will tilt? Who will teeter? And who will go...

-BOTH:

-Splat?!

Hello, I'm Dick. He's Dom.

And this is Splatalot - the messiest kingdom in the land.

Yes, much messier than that kingdom next door - Tidyupalot.

Get off! There's a good reason for all this mess,

which comes from the three challenges we've set,

-to find a new ruler.

-And those three challenges are...

The Moat Challenge - ten attackers will enter,

but only the six fastest will survive.

Ditch The Dungeon, which will reduce that number down to four.

And Capture The Crown - the final round,

where one attacker will succeed in claiming the Splatalot crown.

-Those challenges are tough.

-Well, if you think about it,

only one of the ten attackers will conquer them all.

Here's the first round again, in more detail.

The attackers begin by being flung into the moat by the splatapult.

Then it's up the slippery slope and across the rolling mace,

but on guard is the splaken!

If they survive that, they head down the impossible incline.

Then, after avoiding the water blast,

they have to tackle the beastly battle-axes.

The bridge of disaster then follows, and finally, the wavering warhead

stands between them and the finish line.

That course puts the "icky" in tricky.

Well, if that's the case, then this lot put the "iffy" in difficult.

Yes, it's time to meet the "iffy" defenders.

Although perhaps "whiffy" might be a better description.

Defending the moat today, we have Kookaburra.

Eh?! Trying to sneak up behind me? Yes, you are.

He'll be joined by Madeva, and making up the trio is...

-Hi, I'm...

-SHE COUGHS

A fighting fit Faetal.

I'm going to be the thorn in your...

One flap and you're on your back.

Kook having some fun at Thorne's expense there.

I'm sure the attackers will also be on the receiving end very soon.

The defenders are in position and looking focused.

-Apart from Kook, of course!

-Hi, Mum!

I brake for fabulous!

Here's air cadet, Neil. Nice takeoff.

Great landing. Landing successful.

-Neil, are you an air cadet?

-Yep.

Because you did really well just then.

-Thank you, Kookaburra, you are fabulous!

-How lovely!

He's hit, he's going down. Mayday! Mayday! Splat.

What a shame. They were having such a nice conversation,

and then Neil had to ruin it by splatting into the moat.

-Watch out for that!

-Neil avoids the splaken. On the incline now.

Pug squeezer!

Child, do you skate, too?

I can see what Madeva's getting at, but without skates,

it's more of a slide.

-How about if I add a pair...

-Nice, but I can cope without the cape.

Look, Neil, watch me now.

Well, he's got Madeva in one ear and a water blast in the other,

but he's over the axes.

Can Faetal stop him?

Neil, do you think Faetal is fabulous?

Neil ponders the question, then jumps in the dish-fud!

-There's your answer, Faetal!

-Just the warhead to go.

-Fly, Neil!

-And Neil does, indeed, make a flying start,

with a 3:39. Do we like that?

-Yes!

-Yes!

Fabulous!

Yellow bananas!

Here's attacker number two, Shantae.

Nimble nom-nom!

Well, no polite conversation from Kookaburra this time.

Just a plain old splat on the hat.

Bonjour! Je m'appelle Madeva!

Madeva tries some French, and Shantae gets drenched!

Splat pour vous - merci beaucoup!

Thankfully, the French lesson is over,

and Shantae completes the course in a respectable 7:37.

If you can fly, you can dance!

-Here's Ellie.

-Do the fly dance!

Is that it? That's the fly dance?

-Yeah, I can fly. Unlike you.

-But Kookaburra's a bird!

-I'm currently defending.

-Fair enough.

And Ellie's currently splatting. Wolly womper!

I hear you want to open a beauty salon, girl.

Maybe I should give you a haircut!

-A haircut? No!

-Look out, Ellie!

-BOTH:

-Splaken!

The splaken strikes!

Yes, unfortunately for Ellie, she fell into the trap of chatting back

to the defenders, and took her eye off the ball.

-Do you do mani-pedi?

-A splatty-mani-pedi?

This time Ellie stays focused and makes it over the finish line.

-Well, sort of, made it.

-Hang on in there, Ellie.

It's going to be a long day!

Well, she claws her way to the top and, yes, she's finished.

-Woo!

-You're there!

-Ha!

Good effort, Ellie, but I don't think that time will cut it.

Here's Hannah.

This one's for my nerd herd!

Hannah has a herd of nerds?

That's what I heard. Dog flap!

I'm pretty sure that a group of nerds isn't called a herd.

It's a gaggle, or a...gougorn.

-You'd better fly back to your mummy.

-Hannah puts Kook in his place,

but then finds a place for herself in the moat.

Top heavy Tom!

Hey, girl, do you have some kind a nerd sign?

Oh! Pork sizzle!

Once again, the defenders cleverly distract the attackers,

and this time, the water blast is Hannah's undoing.

But she's right back up and over the first axe.

Not so good on the second and she's back in the moat!

-Hannah finishes in 8:29. Will that be good enough today?

-Here's Kevin.

-Ai-yi-yi-yi!

-He's in to fashion. Over to Kook.

All right, here he comes now, up the catwalk!

Don't you mean "splatwalk"?

Here he is, Kevin, wearing the Splatalot fall collection.

It seems quite fashionable today to fall off the mace,

and Kevin doesn't disappoint.

Stylish and splatty. Fabulous!

Hey, Kevin, what you think? You like my outfit, Kevin?

-Maybe a little.

-Oh, I kinda like you, Kevin!

Looks like Madeva's fallen into her own trap here -

she's too busy chatting to defend the axes!

Oh, rusty bracket!

Don't worry, Kevin. Splatting is all the rage this season!

It's certainly all the rage round this moat challenge.

The attackers are really struggling today to keep out of the moat!

You make that sound like a bad thing.

Kevin finishes with a time of 6:21.

New trend this season, Kevin - slime! Ha-ha!

Thanks, Faetal. I don't think the attackers

need fashion tips from the defenders.

But they could have done with some tips on speeding up,

because that was a slow first half, as our leaderboard will now show.

-So, those times are pretty beatable.

-I'm not so sure.

I think the course is proving very tricky indeed.

The next five attackers aren't going to have it all their own way.

At the end of the Moat Challenge,

the six fastest attackers will go through to the next round.

Let's say this mug of tea represents Round Two.

And these five sugar cubes are the five attackers

-who are about to take on the moat.

-Ah, how sweet.

Even if all five of them finish in super-fast times and qualify,

that still leaves one place to fill.

That belongs to whoever is currently in the lead at the halfway stage.

And that attacker is...

Really! And that attacker is...

Neil!

Kevin, Shantae, Hannah and Ellie

just have to hope their times are good enough.

The defenders are back in position.

So, it's time to welcome our sixth attacker, Braden.

Outwork! Outplay! Yeah!

Out of the splatapult and into the moat. Honky-ponky-donkey!

Braden, I'd like to have a girl's night with you.

You can come over and start BRADEN my hair!

Oh, dear. That was bad, even for Kookaburra!

Come on, Braden, I thought you was going to teach us somethin'.

Braden, over here. Look, Braden. Look, Braden!

-BOTH:

-Splaken!

Well, the defenders

and the splaken continue what they started in the first half.

Braden tried so hard to ignore Kook that he completely lost sight

of the giant wrecking ball, losing a shoe in the process.

-Here he is at the wavering warhead.

-Go, Braden!

He swings, but that surface is slippery

and down he slides into the sploosh.

And the slow times just keep coming. I said this course was tricky today.

You've got one life, just live it!

Here's junior lifeguard, Kayla,

carefully observing the mighty splaken.

I'm all for lifeguards, except how do you guard your own life?

Oooh! That was a bit too close for comfort, Kayla!

But if the splaken doesn't get you, the incline probably will.

-At the battle-axes now.

-On your feet, child!

Oh, dear. Oh, she's doing the boogie board thing.

-She's swimming out.

-Don't think she is, Kook. Pinky master!

See you later, alligator!

It's another slow time, but for now, good enough to qualify.

Here's our next attacker, Sarah.

-Victory, here I come!

-That's a pretty positive attitude.

Wow! How about it? I can see it now. "Victory?"

That's with a question mark. That should have been it.

No - victory, here I come!

That's it, Sarah, you stick to your... Oh, defender bender!

-BOTH:

-Splaken!

-Ohhh!

-Oh, no! Mediocre performance, here I come.

How about you get your hair done better?

Owwww! She said something about my weave!

I'm going to get you, girl! I was going to let you go!

Well, I would say from her tone that Madeva wasn't totally happy

with Sarah's comments about her hair.

Looks like the axes sided with Madeva on that one, too!

Faetal's corner, here you come.

Sarah attempts the bridge, but it's a slip, a slide and a splat.

Amazingly, 11:06 could be good enough to qualify.

Look up, there's the victory. Oh, you found it!

Another slow time.

I think the attackers need new tactics to beat this course.

OK, how about this?

-Travis begins his round with a superb 4:28.

-What?

He then leaps from the finish line, onto the warhead,

and heads for the bridge of disaster.

Did Madeva just catch a splatball?

Travis leaps from the moat and Faetal sucks up the excess water.

-He's now backing onto the axes.

-I'm confused.

Up the impossible incline now.

Kook unsplats Travis, who once again leaps majestically out of the moat.

-My head hurts.

-He's down the slippery slope.

One final leap into the splatapult

and he lands perfectly, to deliver his battle cry.

-I start at the finish!

-Ah, now it all makes sense.

What do you do at the finish? Do you start again?

Doesn't make sense to Kook!

-Mi-bella-saw???

-What does that mean?

I don't know, but it's a great splatword. "Mi-bella-saw"!

-Can you freestyle rap?

-I can, but not now.

Too busy crossing the mace, probably.

Yo, my name is Quinton, I look like a goat,

I fell off the mace roll, right into the moat.

Please make him stop. Goat and moat? We haven't got any goats.

-Yes, we have.

-GOAT BLEATS

You silly billy!

HE MIMICS SCRATCHING RECORD

When I eat breakfast, I eat a croissant,

you fall in the moat and you're my little poisson!

-Poisson?

-French for "fish".

I suppose there's more chance of finding fish in the moat

-than a goat!

-The most likely thing in the moat right now is Quinton,

but he won't mind, cos 5:51 is good enough.

My name's Faetal, I do my job When I defend the crown, I can...

SHE COUGHS Thank you, MC Coughalot.

Making it through the Moat Challenge, we have...

They can rest for a moment,

but soon they'll be facing a different challenge entirely.

In Round One, they were on their own against the clock,

but in Ditch The Dungeon, they'll be slipping, sliding

and struggling with each other!

They'll also be up against some pretty steep challenges,

and three fresh defenders!

So, what about those times in Round One?

That must be the slowest Moat Challenge ever.

As you said earlier, it's not necessarily the attackers' fault.

That course can be tricky, at the best of times.

Maybe it was more slippery underfoot today,

or maybe the defenders were more focussed.

Focused? We're talking about Kookaburra, Madeva and Faetal here.

I've seen goldfish that could concentrate for longer.

In the next round, though, times are irrelevant.

There is no time limit - the round simply continues

until four of the six attackers have made it over the finish line.

And here are those six attackers

who will be attempting to ditch the dungeon.

Here's what they're up against.

They start beneath the castle walls,

where they must escape from the stock market.

Once across the slippery splatwalk,

they can start climbing the loathsome ladder.

Those that make it to the top can claim one of four flags -

the ticket to the final.

But the defenders will be slowing them down at all times

with a host of slimy, grimy weaponry.

So, six will enter, but only four will leave.

Round Two always signals a changing of the guard.

So, bring on the new defenders!

First it's time to say hi to...

Skabb!

Then we have the ridiculously named...

Vane!

And finally, the blue-eyed brute Kook likes to impersonate - Thorne.

I'll be the thorn in your eye.

Dude, that sounds painful.

Yeah, safety first.

Skabb and safety? That's new!

The attackers are as follows - Hannah in green and yellow,

Travis in stripes, Shantae in yellow, Quinton in red,

Kevin in green, and Neil in orange.

Vane's starting with the froth broth-er,

and both Thorne and Skabb have opted for the goo grenades.

And they're off.

The attackers rush to the gate, and they're swiftly through.

I'll start off with a gentle dosing in mayonnaise.

Neil takes an early lead, but shiskibob!

Thorne sends him into the wet suitcase.

Kevin's next in line, but the defenders are ready for him.

Skabb releases a goo grenade, but he misses.

I'd like to take this opportunity

-and nominate myself as Splatalot sheriff!

-What?!

Skabb, if you're the sheriff

then I nominate myself as your new deputy.

Nomination taken.

OK, now how about some defending!

I aim to splat and serve, to slime and protect.

He'll want a horse next!

OK, I nominate myself as Splatalot handsome.

Splatalot handsome! Vane?

Well, he's doing a handsome job of turning Neil into a snowman.

Don't worry, it'll all come off in the wash. There you go.

-Thorne slimes.

-Tastes good, don't it?

-I don't think Quinton would agree.

-These are a bit broken today. Ahh!

Battered sausage! Skabb splats Neil.

-Thank you for that!

-You're welcome!

Skabb was just complaining about the goo grenades,

but I'm sure that direct splat will put a smile back on his face.

-Back to Thorne.

-It's the rain of Thorne for you, Hannah!

She holds on, but either side of her,

Shantae and then Quinton head back down.

Neil makes a move now,

and strides with great purpose back up the ladder.

Vane's spotted the danger, though, and splats him.

Oh! Neil then takes out Hannah, Travis and Kevin!

-Did everyone see that?

-Yes, Vane, we all saw it.

But don't take too much of the credit.

Neil did all the hard work, splatting the other attackers,

before sliding into the sploosh himself.

I think Vane secretly wants a deputy badge from Skabb.

-Is it time for the lemons? Darrgh!

-Budgie budget!

Quinton gets juiced by Skabb and ends up in the lemonade,

along with Neil and, eventually, Travis!

Awesome, dude!

-Extra goo for you.

-Kevin doesn't like the sound of that!

I was going to throw this, but I didn't need to.

He fell on his own!

Thorne switches to slime, and Neil takes a tumble,

Oh, and once again, Travis suffers too.

I'm sorry, did I put the rumbly in your tumbly?

That looks like a "yes" from Quinton.

I will now call the purple plague! Aaargh!

-Here it comes!

-Three of the attackers lose their grip

just at the very mention of the plague.

Neil hung on for a while, but now he's down, too.

And not too far behind comes Quinton.

-That leaves Travis at the top.

-No, he's also a plague victim.

He collides with Shantae,

and eventually ends up back in the bilge.

So, the plague took out everyone.

Three early casualties, then Neil, Quinton and Travis

eventually succumbed.

"Start at the finish" was Travis's battle cry.

Well, rather fittingly, he does.

Say hello to my little friend!

Just the sight of Skabb's little friend sends the attackers

slipping and sliding!

He shoots, he splats and he scores!

So, scare tactics from Skabb lead to an impressive collision

between Travis and Quinton.

The attackers are really struggling at the moment.

They need to get back into the game.

This looks more promising. Neil is really going for it.

Oh, he stumbles, but holds on.

Five attackers are now in a line! Surely this time!

Skabb cruelly fends off Neil and Shantae.

She bumps into Kevin and the two of them are down.

But the others are still at the top.

Not for long. Skabb sends them all back down the ladder.

-You shall not pass!

-Easy, Skabb!

Thorne, you messed up my hair, dude!

Don't worry, it'll wash the mayo off!

Vane needs to concentrate!

Hey, where do you think you're going?

Shantae's at the top. Oh, and once again,

Skabb sends her back down, along with Travis and Hannah.

Skabb couldn't stop them all,

and Kevin is the first to claim a flag.

Neil slides down again, but Quinton holds on

and becomes our second attacker to make it through to the final.

So, two flags claimed and two remain.

Shantae shrugs off Vane, she slips, but doesn't slide,

and so she becomes our third finalist.

Quinton welcomes her to the finalist club.

One more member required.

And it looks like it's going to be Neil.

He's up and over the finish line, so that's it - Round Two is complete!

First down the slide of shame is Hannah,

and it seems only right that Travis should start his at the finish.

Sheriff Skabb shows that underneath it all, he's actually a gentleman!

Well done, yes!

And well done to our four brave young finalists.

So, heading boldly into the Splatalot final are...

What a great round that was - thrills, spills and splats.

Plus, we've got a new sheriff, although I don't think Skabb

is necessarily the best law enforcer in town.

Don't worry, the only rule in Splatalot is - there are no rules!

Time now for my colleague to provide you

with the statistical state of play.

He will dazzle you with his knowledge of the facts,

but just as importantly, he will look stupid doing it.

Here you go. Put it on.

Shantae has finished fifth and third so far in the tournament.

Quinton has a third and second to his name.

And Kevin and Neil have fourths and firsts.

That means Quinton, Kevin, and Neil

can't be separated by the splat stat hat.

So, we have three favourites.

That should make the final very interesting, indeed.

Here's a reminder of the attackers

who still have their eyes on the prize.

Those are the finalists. Now here's the final round.

And what a round it is!

The attackers start by taking a trip to the dire mire,

where they will find the barrier of all barriers.

They then head through the gate, where the terrifying tees await.

Once over, they must leap onto the scary-go-round,

climb over the annihilating arm and land on the gruesome twosome.

The clobbering cannons are next and then it's a leap onto

the royal ramps, followed by a climb up the slippery rock wall,

where the much-coveted Splatalot crown awaits its new ruler.

But, remember, in the final, all six defenders will be on duty,

so it's no walk in the park for the attackers.

They look pretty confident.

Neil looks fabulous in orange, Kevin's fashionable in green,

Shantae's gone for banana yellow, and Quinton's RAPPED up in red.

Vane and Kook form the welcoming committee,

and Thorne, Skabb, Madeva and Faetal are in position,

-so let's get started.

-First stop, the dire mire.

-Wow! Neil's dived right in! That's a first!

-Interesting tactic.

-But he struggles with the barrier.

-Shantae has a go, but no.

-Guys, lift each other up.

-Good plan, Shantae.

The attackers decide to work together on this one.

Why is there no-one here yet?

-Patience, Kook!

-Neil is over and helping Kevin.

He slides slowly, unlike Shantae, who's shoved by Quinton!

-The boys decide that's enough teamwork for one day.

-Guys, help!

Shantae gets Kevin's attention, but Neil is long gone.

That won't win him any friends.

Maybe that's what it takes to become King.

Well, they're all over now.

Vane fires, but single-minded Neil shrugs it off

and takes to the tees.

Oh, Neil, you're not doing very well, champ!

Turkey trumpet! Double turkey trumpet!

Yes! Yes, frog-man!

That's a great run from Kevin, who's cleared the tees.

Shantae's a little slower and a little splattier. Blithering pig!

Well, she was at full stretch, nearly doing the splits.

In this case, the banana splits.

And the banana split becomes a banana splat.

Kevin leaps... and lands onto the scary-go-round.

He heads for the annihilating arm now.

There's one of them here! He's strayed from the pack.

Kevin's an easy target for Kook.

Back to Quinton at the tees. He's making slow but steady progress.

Stand up, young man.

He takes Vane's advice, and he's over!

More target practice for Kook and it's finally all too much for Kevin.

Here comes Neil.

You know, for an air cadet, you're terrible.

Bit harsh, Vane! Shouldn't you be defending right now?

Neil just gets on with it and clings to the arm.

-Good job, Kook.

-What is going on?

Neil throws Kook again, with compliments,

but he's also thrown himself into the moat!

Quinton joins them at the scary-go-round.

-Yo, what's up, Quintie?

-Go!

I didn't have to do anything! The guy just quit!

We'd all prefer it if you did nothing, Vane!

Thorne vaporises Kevin, who leaps for the twosome,

but lands nowhere near them.

I'm not sure if that was the fashionable thing to do there.

Shantae leaps and lands on the scary-go-round.

-Back to Neil.

-It's time for you to kneel before me, Neil!

That's quite clever, coming from Thorne!

Shantae's at the arm, but so too is Quinton.

-Uh-oh. Bye, Quinton.

-Neil climbing.

But here's some sliming!

I says to stay where you is!

Mangled English from Madeva, and medieval tactics from Thorne.

-That was beautiful defending.

-You're very beautiful yourself.

-Why, thank you, Thorne.

-Whoa! Don't touch my weapon, Kevin!

Push is really coming to shove out there,

as yet another attacker is forced into the moat.

But Neil has slipped past the cannons, much to Madeva's annoyance.

Whoa! Faetal is down!

But Madeva pushes Neil off the ramps. Surely that's not allowed!

That was a FAETAL distraction!

So, Faetal loses her dignity, but then Madeva loses her cool.

She should be sent off!

There are no rules in Splatalot, remember.

Here's Shantae. Piddle-poddle!

Quinton's just going round in circles now.

-Come on, Quinton, you can still win.

-I don't agree.

-What are you doing!

-It's hard to get on there. I'm not a good jumper.

-You'd better hurry.

-Oh! It's the girl!

-What's Madeva up to?

-Oh! What was that? Oh!

She's given Shantae a free pass! Referee!

No rules remember. Ring-tony!

Now, Neil's made it onto the royal ramps.

That provokes a response from the defenders.

And here comes the aqualizer!

He steadies himself and leaps. Ben sandwich!

Shantae's on the ramps now, but not too far behind is Kevin.

This is hotting up!

It's not a slide. You have to stand up.

Shantae leaps for the wall, but she's down.

Kevin's turn. And, yes, he's made it!

No! No!

Skabb's not happy, and Kevin's nearly there.

Neil tries to catch up, though. What's Kook up to?

He's trying to use the power of his mind!

It's worked on Neil, and on Shantae!

Oh, and she brings Kevin down with her.

The defenders are ecstatic. The final is wide open again!

Ah!

The attackers and defenders have it all to do again!

-Yes, girl!

-Neil is joined by Shantae.

And Kevin makes three - it's deja vu all over again!

Quinton!

Faetal gives Quinton some slime of encouragement.

Neil leaps, and this time, he makes his landing!

But Shantae's right behind him.

Oh, but not for long. She's back in the bilge-watter.

-The defenders are just shouting!

-Well, they put Kevin off.

Skabb tries actual defending, but it's too late.

Neil is over the wall!

All he has to do now is reach for the crown.

And, yes, it's in his hands and we have a new ruler!

I'm the King of Splatalot! Yeah! That was for you, Michelle!

Well done, King Neil. A fabulous effort!

-But who's Michelle?

-It's a mystery.

All we do know is that she was his inspiration.

An unsolved mystery - I like it!

Here's something else you'll like - it's Splat Of The Day.

Actually, as a special bonus, we've got two.

They both came from the splaken in Round One.

It's hard to believe, but Ellie didn't see it coming.

And neither did Braden, who not only did a 360 into the moat,

but lost a shoe to boot.

Back to Neil and his journey to the crown.

He won the Moat Challenge, but only just qualified for the final.

He battled hard, though, and now stands before us as our new King.

My first act as King of Splatalot is to throw one of you in the moat.

I wish I could do it to all of you, but today I think it will be...

Madeva.

-And for once, Madeva is speechless.

-Which is a relief all round.

Well, it's been another fantastic tournament -

three rounds of mess and mayhem.

And we'll have plenty more splatty action for you soon,

but for now, we'll leave you with the splatapult ceremony.

Take it away, Madeva.

-So, until next time...

-BOTH:

-..keep splatting!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd