Episode 21 Splatalot

It's Splat time!

Welcome to Splatalot, the mysterious and messy kingdom,

that invites ten brave young warriors to go head-to-head

with those despicable Defenders, as they compete to capture

the greatest treasure in the land, the much treasured Splatalot crown!

Let's get this party started, y'all!

Can the defenders keep the castle safe from the attackers?

Or will our young warriors overcome every hurdle,

and find a true champion to rule the kingdom?

So who will tumble? Who will tilt? Who will teeter?

And, who will go...

Hello, I'm Dick, which means he must be Dom.

And this, right here, is Splatalot, the magical,

mysterious kingdom that's very picky about its rulers.

Yes, it seems that not a day goes by round here,

when they're not replacing the old king or queen with a new one.

And in order to find their new monarch, they hold a tournament,

made up of the following three rounds.

In the Moat Challenge, ten attackers will enter,

but only the six fastest will move on to Round Two.

Ditch The Dungeon will reduce that number down to four.

And Capture The Crown is the final round,

where one brave attacker will claim the Splatalot crown.

So, three top tests await our crown capturing candidates,

and each one is full of awkward obstacles.

Let's check out the Moat Challenge in more detail.

The attackers begin their round in the rather scary splatapult,

which hurls them into the moat.

They then make their way up the slippery slope,

and attempt to cross the rolling mace.

The impossible incline is next, as the name suggests, it's not easy!

Then it's up and over the beastly battle-axes.

The wobbly bridge of disaster then leads to the debilitating disc,

which takes the attackers to the finish line.

But the attackers also have to deal with a few more awkward obstacles.

Yes, I'd say "awkward" sums them up perfectly.

Time to meet the defenders!

Here's all six of them trying to look mean and moody!

But let's meet the troublesome trio who'll be defending the moat today.

-Madeva.

-That's one.

-I'm Vane, bro.

-That's two.

This is going to be fun. I promise!

And Faetal makes three. Now, when she says, fun,

I don't think it's the kind of fun the attackers will appreciate.

Yes, but if it leads to lots of splats, then I'm fine with that.

Down in the moat, the defenders are in position.

Madeva's priming her splatzuka, Faetal's doing the same

on the castle walls, and Vane is lining up the aqualizer.

Here's Keenan.

The fun has arrived, thank you very much!

No, Keenan, thank YOU very much. Trunk-poddle!

The splats have arrived! Ha-ha-ha.

Keenan, say cheese!

And now the slime has arrived! Keenan shrugs it off, though.

He starts slowly and steadily on the mace roll,

oh, but now he's stuck, and the mace roll shrugs him off!

Sha-boom!

Break dance, Keenan, do a little break dance.

-No, please don't.

-Yeah, ooh!

What was that? Down the incline now, and falafel-wrangler!

Keenan, you're my favourite break-dancing attacker ever!

Well, with a little help from the replay, I think

we can get him to bust a few moves!

At the battle-axes now. Good, good, not so good.

Wrong-auntie!

Stop cheating, bro! I heard you like cheesy jokes.

-Want to hear a joke about pizza?

-I doubt it!

-Nah, it's too cheesy!

-Oh.

He's heard that one before, Vane.

And we never want to hear it again.

Vane gets back to his proper job, and starts aqualizing Keenan,

who's on the debilitating disc.

But not for long, though, Billy-bongos!

He finishes with 6:42, and treats us to some more of his moves.

-Here's Hannah.

-Let's get this party started y'all!

-I like the sound of that.

-Here she comes!

Now that's quite a party trick!

Hey, Hannah, I heard you like to dance.

You going to show me a dance, girl?

Woo, child!

OK, she can dance, but can she splat? Oh, ka-foo-foo!

There she goes!

Well, we did it for Keenan,

so here's Hannah with a little splat-dance of her own.

We're going to get this party started! Ha-ha-ha.

Faetal, Hannah's party started ages ago, and you're late!

On your feet, Hannah!

She takes Madeva's advice, then takes a step forward

and grubby fish tank!

-I'm OK!

-Well done, Hannah. That splat was OK too!

-OK? It was splatacular!

-Where'd she go?

Keep up, Faetal! Hannah's finished with a high kicking 6:25.

I'm a Titan!

Here's Shania.

You can't touch me!

I can't touch you?

Apparently, Shania is scared of clowns, oh, manky-spuds!

That's how we do it here, you know!

She moves onto the incline, which in my opinion is also pretty scary.

Oh, she slips and silly-goggles!

Now, here's an artist's impression of what that all

looks like to Shania.

Yeah, pretty scary!

At the axes now. Oh, lookout!

Chin-fuzz!

Hello, who's there? Can anybody hear me?

I can hear you.

Can you hear this? Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Vane opens up with the aqualizer, and Shania's down!

But she manages to hold on, for now anyway.

Oh, but the bridge is tilting

and eventually she ends up in the oinky-pate.

Shania finishes in 7:24. Will that be good enough?

I dunno, but I think that's goo'd enough!

Here's Parker.

Will power!

Hi, Parker, I hear you're all for fair play.

If that's true, then something tells me Parker's come to the wrong place.

Oh, dental-corrector!

Too bad I'm only for fair splats! Ha-ha-ha!

Parker's made a fair amount of progress though.

He's now at the debilitating disc.

Here comes the shower, dude, I know you need it. You're stinky!

Come on, Vane, play fair!

Nothing stinks about Parker's technique though.

That's a very smooth way to finish the round.

And that's the fastest time today. Fair play to you, Parker!

Sorry about the goo though. Here's Alvan.

Give me liberty, or give me splat.

OK, let's consider Alvan's offer.

Do we give the lad liberty, or do we give him splats?

Well, I've just checked, and we're right out of liberty,

but we do have a mountain of splats to get through.

Splats it is then!

-OK, let's kick off with a mace roll splat.

-Me-daddy!

Then, a Faetal splat!

Double me-daddy!

Quickly followed by an impossible incline splat.

Triple me-daddy!

No liberty here, Alvan. Sorry.

Now, can he turn things around on the battle-axes?

A splat-free crossing would be perfect.

He's onto the first axe. He steps forward, and rung-sausage!

Well, the splats keep coming for poor Alvan.

His right foot misses the second axe completely,

and the moat soon beckons.

Alvan's fine, but that's a splat too far for him,

and he decides to call it a day.

Yes, bad luck to Alvan, who splatted brilliantly.

And just in case you're wondering, that course is tricky,

but every obstacle is extremely soft and spongy.

Yes, hard, and spiky on the outside,

-and soft and gentle on the inside, a bit like him.

-Hm?

Nothing! Here's the leaderboard.

Parker's in first place with 5:19, followed by Hannah, Keenan,

and Shania, plus Alvan, who did not finish.

So, five attackers have attempted the course,

and we've got five more to come.

Remember, only the six fastest will survive!

So our next attackers will have one eye on the clock,

and the other on the splats coming their way!

In fact, the only attacker who can relax right now,

is our current leader.

Don't tell me, you're going to explain why, using all these coats.

Exactly. Take your jacket off and start putting them on.

OK, Dom represents the next round,

and these coats represent the attackers with the fastest times.

Let's say the next five attackers to compete

are all fast enough to qualify.

-How are you doing?

-It's OK, it's just getting harder to move.

Nearly there.

Right, so Dom is just about wearing the five coats,

representing the fastest five attackers.

But remember, six attackers go through,

so whoever is currently leading will also definitely qualify.

And that person is...

-Parker! "Parka"! Do you like that one, eh?

-Brilliant.

All of that, just so you can do a silly coat joke?!

No, that was a very important demonstration,

that just happened to make you look stupid!

Can we go to the leaderboard, please?

See, there's Parker, in first place

and safely through to the next round.

Can I take these coats off now?!

The defenders are back in position and priming their slime,

-so let's meet our next attacker, Jor-El.

-For Krypton!

Isn't he Superman's dad?

Is it a bird, is it a plane? It's a splat!

Ha-ha!

And the Superman taunting has already begun!

Here he is on the mace roll.

Oh, the water blast unsettles him, and he's off his feet.

He's still hanging on, though,

but I think the mace roll has other plans for him.

Yes, for a moment it looked like he might recover,

but he got caught on a spike, and then he just had to roll with it.

So not a super start for our superhero,

but there's still time to put that right.

At the incline now.

Whoops. Shrimp lips!

And, in keeping with so many of the attackers in the Moat Challenge

so far, here's Jor-El with some

body popping and some body splatting.

Vane pumps up the aqualizer,

just to make things a little trickier for Jor-El.

He starts steadily, pulls on the rope, and...

Yes, it's another super splat!

Not a super time, though. That's the slowest so far today.

Here's Kelsey!

Ooh, child, show them muscles! Yes, sir!

Kelsey starts to muscle her way over the rolling mace.

Futon-pusher!

The other way, girl. Just over.

Onto the axes now.

Ooh! Uh-huh!

I knew you could handle it!

Well, the water blast is one thing, but handling the axes is another.

Oooh! Trout-McGwiffen!

Oh, dear, Kelsey's not handling this at all well.

In fact she's all fingers and thumbs and toes at the moment.

Now, has that splat cost her too much time?

Not at all. 5.45 is more than good enough.

You goo, girl!

Here's Talia, and she's going down - straight down into the moat.

Yellow hot dog!

She is so cute.

You are so cute!

Oh, whoopsy! Not quite so cute now, eh, Talia?

Well, she's certainly living up to her battle-cry.

-Talia, you like to sing?

-Yeah.

Oh, good can you say

# Splatterday! #

# Splatterday! #

Oh, yes! She got soul!

Did you hear that?

The incline's having quite a splatterday of its own!

So close, yet so far.

Talia at the axes.

Cranky-butler!

Double cranky-butler!

We've seen this before - a full-on splat leads to the

full-on splits, and Talia is going down once again.

And with that time, Talia is down and sadly out.

But we can't say goodbye without some goodbye goo.

Here's Aimee.

Well Aimee, the first thing that's happening is this.

Yester-dangle!

Aimee, there's not much happening in the moat,

if that's what you're looking for.

Aimee at the impossible incline now and, honky-boo-boo!

-Aimee, what's happening?

-Not much.

Not much, you're telling me!

Well, there's a lot of splatting going on.

Aimee, like so many others today, comes a cropper on the incline.

But her splat is one of the more stylish,

with a backflip to finish it off.

Onto the battle-axes. She steps on the first.

But slips on the second and sink plunger!

Well, we've had some top splatting from Aimee, but at a price,

because she's not through to Round Two.

Great idea, James, I hear it's very nice this time of year.

He needs to get round the moat first.

What's this? He tries to splat Faetal,

but the water blast comes to her defence!

You know what they say, James,

"When in Splatagascar..."

-"..splat."

-And, "When in Splatalot, splat some more."

James comes off second best in this little exchange,

and time in the moat is not time well spent.

This is probably really annoying for you.

Does he mean the shower, or his voice?

James on the disc, and wusalap!

No matter, he's through.

Take me with you!

I want to go to Splatagascar.

James will be staying in Splatalot for a while longer.

He's our fastest attacker today.

Joining him in Ditch The Dungeon

will be Parker, Kelsey,

Hannah, Keenan, and Shania.

Well, the tournament's really hotting up now.

In our quest to find a new ruler,

we've cut the number of attackers from ten to six.

And there's still more chopping to come!

Yes, it's a stone-cold fact that two of our remaining

attackers won't be Ditching The Dungeon!

In other words at the end of Round Two,

we will be left with our four finalists.

So far they've been tested individually for raw speed around

the moat, but Ditch the Dungeon is a different challenge entirely.

For the first time, the attackers will be competing in the same

space together, and that can lead to some spectacular splatting.

Here's a reminder of the six attackers who've made it this far.

They are...

Time to find out what they're up against.

Here's Ditch The Dungeon in more detail.

The challenge begins beneath the castle walls.

The attackers must escape from the stock market,

cross the splatwalk, then climb the loathsome ladder.

At the top, there are just four flags.

If they can claim one, then they're in the final.

If they can't, they're out.

Plus, they'll have all sorts of slimy, grimy weaponry

to deal with at all times.

At this point in the tournament, we also bring on three new defenders,

just to keep things interesting.

So let's see who's defending the dungeon today.

Skabb!

He's beastly.

I am Thorne!

He's moody.

Kookaburra!

And he's just plain silly.

Enh?

Ah!

I hate magic.

BOTH: Oh! Ah!

Well, I'm sure the attackers would love to make him disappear too!

Down in the stock market, we have James in green,

Kelsey in pink,

Hannah in stripes, Parker in blue,

Shania in orange and blue, and Keenan in orange.

Skabb's on the froth broth-er, Thorne's on the splatter batter

and Kook's got a basket of goo grenades.

KLAXON

And they're...not off? What's going on?

KLAXON

I guess they didn't hear the klaxon.

But it's all fine now, and they're through the gate.

They're not exactly rushing though! What are they up to?

Well, it's a tactic I haven't seen before!

-I need some foam!

-Skabb's broth-er isn't frothing.

Oh, the attackers are finding it slippy already!

There we go!

The frothing begins and Hannah's the first into the sploosh.

Really good job, everyone.

Kook's takes the casual approach.

Oh! Ow!

And Keenan takes offence, then takes a little trip down the ladder.

James now heads to the front of the pack,

but that doesn't last long and he's soon right at the back.

Nice splatwalk slide though.

Parker sees if sprinting is the answer.

Very nice.

But Kook dismisses him with a goo grenade.

Oh, and he takes Keenan down with him.

Yes, a 'two for one special' for Kook there.

-Thorne steps up a gear.

-Fantastic.

-And Skabb keeps piling on the foam.

-Much to James' annoyance.

Oh, it's cold!

-Well, don't go in, then!

-Here's Kelsey.

Don't put your hand up, it's not going to do much.

He's right. In fact, none of the attackers can do much at the moment.

-Parker goes for another sprint.

-But Skabb's seen him

and sends him slipping and sliding

all the way back down the splatwalk and into the brew.

James tries the same approach, but he too is splatted,

and is just moments away from another cold bath!

Kelsey's also getting nowhere,

unless, of course, she was aiming for the splatwalk.

Now, it's Keenan's turn for a slippy slide.

What's up!

-Polyester pipe!

-Kook asked "What's up?", and the answer is not Kelsey.

Hey, guys, don't mention this to the attackers,

but I think it's time for the balls of doom.

-The balls of doom?

-Don't say anything.

Thorne, don't tell them it's time for the balls of doom.

No, I won't tell them it's time for the balls of doom.

We don't want to let them know.

Oh, no!

It's the...

BOTH: Ball of doom!

-Well, I never saw that coming!

-James is the only survivor.

-I told you they were going to do that.

-I knew it.

Well, the attackers may have known it was coming,

but that didn't mean they could do anything about it.

Yes, the ball of doom is pretty unstoppable when it's on a roll.

Thorne tries to dislodge James with his slime stick

and he slips, just before Kook's slimeball can get him.

Shania!

Oh, Shania's down.

See, that's all you have to do.

-I talk to them and they fall themselves.

-Ah!

-Oooh, let me try... Keenan! Wow, it really works!

-Honestly!

Skabb, I don't want you to let anyone know this,

but I think we may have another ball of doom on our hands.

Not another one!

-Thorne?

-Skabb, shhh!

All right, don't tell them it's the ball of doom. OK.

Here it is. It's the ball of doom!

Aaaargghh!

Again, another total surprise!

The doom ball goes about its business,

but look who's survived - it's James, and this time Shania too.

In fact, the ball came straight at them, but they managed to deflect it.

The other attackers weren't so lucky though.

James is under an all-out slime attack now,

thanks in no small measure to Thorne.

Skabb splats Parker, but it's Shania at the back who goes down.

Kelsey's down too and she's also bound for the gil-fest.

Now, Hannah and Parker slip and they trip Keenan.

At the moment,

there are more attackers in the water than on dry land!

Thorne keeps the water theme going, as he hoses down James.

And Kook seems to be stepping up a gear too.

Hold onto this.

James loses grip and takes a long and loathsome trip down the ladder.

I slayed the mighty James.

I don't think so, Kook.

See, he's already making his way back up.

Oh, I'm so tired.

James is once again grappling with Kook,

and manages to steal his weapon!

But it comes at a price,

because the other attackers are now free to cross the finish line.

Hannah's the first to benefit, followed by Keenan.

They are heading into the final.

Two flags have been claimed and two remain.

Shania stumbles at the top, but she's through.

And Parker scrambles over just ahead of Kelsey!

So that's it, Round Two is complete!

They have every right to celebrate,

but you've got to feel sorry for James,

who really cleared the way for the others.

Kelsey now, with her slide of shame,

and she leaves the tournament in style!

But our flag wavers aren't going anywhere. These four brave attackers

are now one step closer to claiming the crown.

Here's confirmation of our finalists.

That was an excellent round, and proof, if you need it,

that the outcome is never certain in this tournament.

Yes, James defied the ball of doom twice,

and was always troubling the defenders,

but at the crucial moment, he slipped

and allowed the other attackers through.

It can be such a cruel game.

And there are bound to be a few twists and turns still to come,

as we've saved the toughest, and splattiest challenge till last.

Time now for a splat stat...attack!

Aarg! Right, here you go.

So far, Shania has finished sixth and third,

Keenan has managed a fifth and second,

Parker has a second and fourth place to his name,

and Hannah has come fourth and first, making her today's favourite.

Lovely. Well done, Hannah. Here's a reminder of our four finalists.

We have...

And this is what they're up against!

Our Capture The Crown round is full of obstacles.

The attackers start with a trip to the dire mire

to find the barrier of all barriers.

They then head through the gate, where the terrifying tees await.

Once over, they must leap onto the scary-go-round,

which is guarded today by the splaken!

The attackers must avoid that whilst climbing over the annihilating arm

-and landing on the gruesome twosome.

-The clobbering cannons are next,

followed by the royal ramps.

And once they've climbed up the slippery rock wall,

they'll find what they're looking for -

the magical and majestic Splatalot crown.

Standing in the attackers' way will be all the dastardly defenders.

They won't give in without a splat

and look ready to take on our brave young warriors.

And here they are.

We have Hannah in stripes, Shania in orange and blue,

Keenan in orange and Parker in blue.

The defenders are ready.

Vane and Faetal form the welcoming committee,

Thorne has the vicious vaporisers,

Madeva and Skabb are on cannon duty, and Kook has the aqualizer.

KLAXON

And they're...not off again!

Didn't anyone tell them it was a race?

They're off now, and head for the dire mire.

As always, the mire slows everyone down.

That's mud!

-That's right, Keenan.

-And that's the barrier.

Keenan clears it comfortably, followed by Parker,

leaving Hannah and Shania to fend for themselves.

Hannah leaps and makes it, although she's completely covered in mud.

Shania's there too.

Oh, boy!

Keenan's arrived at the tees.

Vane fires, but misses.

Woah! Ha-ha. Is that all you got? Bring it on!

Well, taunting the defenders doesn't usually pay.

Oh! He survives the water blast

and uses the final tee for a perfect landing!

Hannah's turn.

Run, little zebra!

Steady. Rama-ding-ding!

Keenan heads for the scary-go-round.

Oh, boy!

"Oh, boy," indeed. He jumps...

and lands successfully.

He shrugs off another water blast

and makes it to the annihilating arm.

OK, let's head back to the tees.

Parker makes his way across,

but he slips and splats.

Keenan's over the arm, but can he get back onto the scary-go-round?

That's a no.

Back to Shania on the tees.

Oh, but now she's off the tees!

Parker leaps and now he's onto the scary-go-round.

Look out for the splaken.

Hannah avoids it, but ends up in the moat.

Parker, you can't park in there, Parker.

Well, he's not stationary for long and he's over the arm.

Here's Shania. She leaps and she lands.

Thorne tests his vaporiser.

BOTH: Splaken!

Well, it took a while, but it was worth the wait!

Yes, it's our first splaken splat of the day!

Poor young Parker was looking down at the twosome,

so never saw the giant ball creeping up on him!

I'm good.

-No, Parker, you're awesome!

-Here's Hannah, heading for the arm.

She grabs hold of it, but the defenders have spotted her,

and she soon becomes a sitting target.

Parker leaps for the twosome, but doesn't make the landing.

Hannah's still hanging on. And she's over.

Yeah, buddy, woah!

Thorne tries to put her off, as she leaps for the twosome

and just like Parker, she misses her landing.

Shania reaches the arm, oh, and approaches it sideways!

I can't see this ending terribly well.

She fumbles for a foothold,

and eventually the scary-go-round takes her down into the moat.

Here's some syrup for you!

Thorne tries to distract Keenan, and it's worked!

Oh, it's Hannah!

She's the first to confront the cannons.

Now, run! Whoa!

Now run! OK, go.

-Gravity limpet!

-And the lesson is, never trust Skabb.

Parker's turn.

-Now, you must run!

-Ha-ha, yeah!

-Double gravity limpet!

-Parker, we did warn you.

BOTH: Splat! Cannon time!

THEY SING

BOTH: Cannon time!

How lovely(!)

Go, go, go!

Steady, Keenan. Oof!

Oh, yeah!

Now, check this out for a final.

There's something happening everywhere!

Keenan's currently in the lead. He heads for the royal ramps,

but gets a right royal splatting instead!

Here's Parker.

Parker, Parker, oh! That was like two for one!

Skabb greets Shania with a bucket of slime.

It's a Barbarian thing.

Oh, that's a sneaky zebra!

Hannah's on the ramps!

Oh! Oh, no, she didn't.

Oh, yes, she did, Madeva!

And she'll do some more if you don't wake up!

Oh, don't make me do it!

-Hannah stretches for the wall.

-That's practically the splits!

No immediate challengers, so she's in with a good chance...

Oh, no, she's down!

Parker's now on the ramps.

You're my favourite.

Deary me, Faetal. What a time to lose your slime!

Hannah's back on the ramps, but Parker's about to leap.

No, he slips and splats.

Faetal's goo grenade might have got him too.

Here's our tournament favourite with another huge stretch.

Oh, there she goes again!

Parker doesn't care who's favourite. He's still in the race!

But Hannah's now climbing the wall!

Don't let the zebra get it!

Parker now with his second attempt at the wall.

No, he just can't hold on!

Hannah's nearly at the top,

but she's covered in slime and looks exhausted!

Parker's back again and Shania's closing in too.

Some for you!

Parker leaps and this time, he makes it!

-Hannah needs to react now!

-They're both neck and neck.

Hannah's trying really hard, but I think Parker's got more energy left.

The defenders have turned into spectators.

Hardly surprising - this is one of the best finals ever!

And Parker is over. He takes the crown, and wins the final!

Whoa!

Bad luck, Keenan, well played, Shania, and hats off to you, Hannah.

But it's Parker who rules!

Well done, King Parker. It all seemed like a lost cause for him,

when Hannah was nearly at the top, but he just refused to give up

and thoroughly deserved the crown.

Although you do have to feel sorry for Hannah.

-She was justifiably the favourite, but just ran out of juice.

-Yeah.

Now, let's see who's won Splat Of The Day.

I don't believe it - Parker's won that too, with his splaken splat!

In fact, it was the only thing the splaken did all day,

but it was worth it!

Now, here's Parker's journey to the crown.

He came second in Round One and only just qualified in Round Two.

But he saved the best till last,

with one the most remarkable comebacks we've ever seen!

My first official act as King of Splatalot

is to have one of you thrown into the moat.

I wish it could be all of you, but today, I've chosen Vane!

THEY LAUGH

Oh, that's harsh. He was only a little annoying today.

Well, maybe that was the problem.

If he'd been properly annoying then maybe he wouldn't have been chosen.

That makes no sense whatsoever.

So that's it for another superbly splatty tournament.

We'll have more mess and mayhem for you soon,

but for now, we'll leave you with the Splatapult Ceremony.

Take it away, Vane.

So, until next time...

BOTH: Keep splatting!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd