The Snide Piper Strange Hill High

Mwah-ha-ha!

# Creepy ain't the word

# Freaky ain't the word

# Sneaky ain't the word

# See what I've observed

# Cos there's no easy way to Describe this geeky place

# Even geeky place doesn't tell you What I need to say

# This is Strange Hill where A talking frog can eat your face

# It's very, very random, You'll get used to these debates

# If you stick around Although I wouldn't recommend it

# When they used the name strange Mate they really meant it

# There's some things in life with Which you just don't mess

# On every vest I got the letters SOS

# Cos you never know what might Be lurking round the corner

# And what it might do If it ever found or saw you

# Keep the lights On in the hallways all days

# Things won't always Tend to go your way

# Watch your back And be prepared

# Can't wait for 3:30 see you there. #

Right, class, on the count of three.

One, two, three!

# Summer is a-coming

# Loudly sing, Cuckoo! #

Arrr!

Oh! That's better. I prefer rock music.

Oo, or even just rocks.

Thanks for seeing me off to France.

I can find my way from here - out the door,

turn left at the white cliffs

and straight on until everyone talks in that made-up language...

French.

I can't believe you got selected for the exchange program.

You've never expressed interest in things Francais, yet I...

J'adore les choses Francais et quand je serai grand je veux vivre

en France et qu'est-ce qui se passe?! Vraiment?!!

Hmm, if I were a suspicious person who distrusted

Mr Abercrombie, I'd say he's behind this.

-You are a suspicious person who distrusts Abercrombie!

-Hmmmm...

What do you mean I can't exchange Tanner?

I sounded too eager, like I was trying to get rid of him?

Why would I ever want to get rid of my worst student a few

days before our school festival?

Now, here's a boy I don't want to get rid of.

You can't have him.

Now, I sound too keen to keep him? You're good.

Ah, Weird Boy!

I mean, ah, a boy no-one's keen to keep or get rid of.

You'll take him? Heh.

I bid you achoo.

Adieu!

-Bless you!

-Bless you!

# Should auld acquaintance be forgot And never brought to miiiiii- #

Ayiyi! Temps, maybe it's good you're leaving before music class.

Let's just say our goodbyes, yeah?

An epic journey awaits into the unknown.

Whence I may return, who can say?

You're going to Paris for five days.

As Captain Oates said, "I'm just going outside, I may be some time."

See you Tuesday, then.

It'll be a bit weird without Templeton.

It's way weirder with him.

I wonder what his French exchange student will be like?

Allo, mes amies!

Hmmm. Maybe just like Templeton but wearing a silly hat?

Uncanny!

A-ha! Le beeyootifool museek!

# La la la la la! Lor le lor le lor La! #

Je suis Pepe. Pepe Rrroni.

Pepperoni?

Non. Pepe. Roni.

Yeah, like, pepperoni - on a pizza!

Qu'est que ce?

Sliced sausage? Les saucisses?

Ah, des-saucisses-J'aime-manger-des saucisses-mais-seulement-sur-les

repas-speciaux-lorsque-grandmere celebre-son-heritage-allemand.

Well, Little Miss Language, what did he say?

Time for music...

Children! Once a year we celebrate the festival.

You need only perform once! Get it right, puhlease!

# Summer is a-coming

# Loudly sing, Cuckoo!

# And the wood springs anew

# The ewe bleats after the lamb

TEMPLETON BEATBOXES

# The cow moos after the calf. #

That's what I call Bleatboxing.

# Now when I speak all the cows and The sheep

# Hears the sound on the street and Jump around to the beat. #

Stop that funkiness at once!

Friends, teachers...Tyson.

Hey!

Lend me your ears, throw off the shackles of lame music.

-Embrace rap and keep time with the boom-bap!

-Quiet!

I don't want to hear one more word from any of you!

But then how can we sing?

If I hear one more peep I will leave this school and never come back!

FLUTE WHISTLES

Aaaagh!

THEY ALL CHEEER

The power of music.

So, we'll need a supply teacher in the Music Department.

Yes, Strange Hill again...

No, I'm not trying to fob off another student on you.

This time, it's a teacher. We'd like...

# To teach happiness song and Beauty for minimum wage

# Your new teacher reporting for duty! #

Hm. Quite a service.

Welcome to Strange Hill, Miss...?

# Terpsichore but that's a bit trickery

# So call me Joy each girl and Boy will learn to sing

# Cos that's my thing even This boy with the bling! #

Right. Well, our music room is down the hall on the left.

# La-la-la-la-la-la. #

Mmm.

Something odd about that woman I can't quite put my finger on.

Happiness, Sir?

That's it! Happiness. Horrible, misplaced happiness.

What is thees, "skeeping class"?

The best thing ever!

You're having fun, in our country it's called "bunking".

Mitchell, what's going on?

I am the bun king!

OK, besides that.

I'm just teaching Pepe how we do things over here.

Like how it's rude to get to class on time.

On time? Look at the time!

It's II past IX?

It's ten past nine. We're late for music again. I'm bunking!

A classic gateway crime!

Next it'll be the arcade with the punks and once I have a taste of the

hard life, vehicular theft, bank robberies

and then, oh, no, Mitchell, treason!

I am Bun King. You are Bun Queen.

There's no time for cakes! Come on!

# Feel the joy deep in our bones Raising our hearts raising

# the stones! #

# Feel the joy deep in our bones raising our hearts

-# Raising the stones! #

-I do like a nice sit down now and then.

Sorry we're late, Miss...?

# Terpsichore but you can call me Joy and don't apologise

# When you can harmonise

# So hey sisters and hey brothers Say hello to our latecomers! #

Join us, join us, join us, join us, join us, join us, join us,

-join us, join us...

-How lovely!

-Join us, join us, join us.

Er, sorry - wrong class!

Pour Quoi?! I like nutty lesson!

I think that new teacher seems lovely.

A bit too enthusiastic maybe, but

who am I to complain about that?!

It wasn't incredibly weird to you?

Different teachers have different styles -

that's just how Joy inspires her students.

OK, I'm inspired...to run away as quickly as possible.

# Now let's get your friends to Join the fun

# We don't have much time so...

# RUN! #

# Is everyone happy? Let me see. #

I'm as happy as possible for a misery like me.

# Now the Equinox is coming We must prepare. #

Like, yo, what is that? I got no idea.

# It's when day and night are equal Right down to the minute. #

Ah, the movement of celestial spheres, that's sort of cool, innit?

# Yes, it's when spring comes So watch the sundial

# When it happens Everyone smiles. #

Permanently.

Join us, won't you?

Croydonia nice? Maybe something is up.

Is there really something wrong with everyone being nice all the time?

I don't trust extreme niceness.

People have lost their personalities and, though in some cases...

Croydonia.

..it's for the better, it's still creepy.

Think about it - a school of 300 Matthewseses?

Hello, chums!

What a lovely day to be saying "what a lovely day"!

I don't want to lose my personality.

It's all I've got...apart from good looks and natural cool.

But what's Joy up to with all of this?

Fromage?

You know I can't help

but think even Templeton might've offered more insight there.

Looky loo!

Aw, a mini-Stonehenge.

Which is odd, because we're not anywhere near Mini-Wiltshire.

Stone structures suddenly appearing,

Joy turning everyone into niceness zombies, the Spring Festival,

don't you get the feeling something big is about to happen?

We've got to stop whatever it is!

But what if whatever it is is what is what's truly good

and whatever we do is what is what's truly bad?

What?

What if by stopping Joy,

we're stopping the world from becoming perfect?

Perfection's overrated. And boring.

Bex, I don't want to join a group

and go along with everything blindly.

-It goes against everything I stand for. Which is nothing.

-Ugh.

OK, but we have to do it together, all three of us - you, me and...

Pepe?

Am I ze King of Rock?

Um, are giant mysterious stones supposed to do that?

Fromage?

We need to find out exactly what Joy is up to so we can stop her...

from being so nice.

# Mitchell Glasses Girl New Crazy Boy come see what we make for Joy

# They're idols worthy of museum Come in you should see 'em! #

Yo chums, care to make some graven images with us?

I shall 'andle zees, my friends. Zey cannot brainwash me.

Zere is only one holy image pour moi - le pomme de terre.

What's a pomme de terre?

Potato.

Vive la pomme de terre.

Pepster's been a while. I hope he's OK.

Mitchell, he's not Templeton -

he doesn't know our secret rendezvous location!

Nothing but that sandwich Templeton refuses to throw out.

Uch. Some day, that thing's going to come alive.

Careful - we don't want to run into any really nice people.

I can't believe I'm saying that.

Hey! Pepe! Peppy Roni!

P-Peps!

-Zere zey are.

-Uh-oh!

-Les attraper!

I don't speak French, what'd he say?

# Catch them before they get away! #

Join us. Join us.

Join us. Join us.

Join us for fun.

It's fun to join us.

We just want you to be happy.

C'mon, give us a hug.

Mitchell, I think hugging and singing are how they get you!

Remember, Joy came at us with outstretched arms?

I knew there was something wrong with public displays of affection!

Oh, hello, children. Fleeing something?

Yes, niceness!

There's a new music teacher and she's brainwashed everyone

into doing her sick, twisted happy kind uplifting bidding!

They're like her brainless minions.

A Dominion of No-Opinion Minions! Haven't you heard all the singing?

Can't you hear the singing right now?

My hearing isn't what it used to be...

Sorry to hear that.

Sorry?

I said I'm sorry to hear that!

Yes, sometimes I worry the bear's back, too.

We think this all has something to do with the Spring Festival!

There's no need to yell. I'll just turn up my hearing aid.

HORRIBLE FEEDBACK

Aaah!

The Festival's been a harmless affair as long as I've been here.

Of course it goes back much further than that - to really ancient days.

The way Miss Terpsichore dresses does seem sort of ancient.

I've heard that name before.

Right, The Strange Hill Phone Directory from ancient times.

There weren't phones back then, so it's quite short.

Now, Let's see... Conjurers... Druids... Druid Removal...

Gods, Goddesses...

Yes, here she is, Terpsichore.

Has she said anything about the Equinox?

She's pretty much all about the Equinox.

Hey, the knocking and singing have stopped.

Oh, good.

Oh, no!

Oh, heavens.

What's with all the oh'ing?

It's Strange Henge!

In ancient times it was foretold that one day Terpsichore would come.

She is a Muse.

Where's her antlers?

A muse - not a moose.

She's a goddess, here to join her world to ours by opening a

doorway to a place where everyone's happy and sings and dances forever.

Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach?

Far more sinister then that, I'm afraid.

You see, the prophecies call for our entire world to be transformed,

but this new era of "happiness" is not to be without its sacrifices.

Yeah, like individuality and personalities

and being able to make fun of stuff and...

I'm talking about a real sacrifice.

The Muse needs to cleanse our imperfect world by sacrificing

an evil spirit.

Where they going to find one round here?

Mitchell!

# He'll do just fine! #

And...we're off and running again.

Aaaah!

I may be smart mouthed, but "evil"? That's a bit of a stretch.

I don't think you're even mildly possessed.

Thanks, Bex.

In ancient times, anyone different was considered "evil".

Ha! Ancient people - get a clue!

Have a great day!

All this not napping peacefully at my desk makes me

want to nap peacefully at my desk.

OK, you go nap peacefully at your desk. We'll get help.

Lock your door and... Mr B?

Looks like it's just me and you, Bex.

It's not the same without Templeton. Three heads are better than one.

Unless they're on one monster,

but then we could fight it together, us three!

We've already lost one temporary Templeton.

-Where are we going to find another now?

-Hello, chums!

Oh, great. It's Zombie Matthews.

Go on, sing us a song about friendship and flowers.

Oh, that hippy dippy happy sappy brainwashy-boshy stuff didn't

work on me, sorry!

But how?

Beats me! Well, I'm off.

I've got a lot of skipping to do!

Of course! He's so happy, Joy assumed she'd already turned him!

So Matthews is...untouchable!

Matthews!

Ahoy-hoy?

Listen, we've only been able to defeat the bad guys around here

when there are three of us.

We're all out of Templetons and Baldy's asleep

so I'm going to say something I've never said before -

something that, when this is over,

I cannot guarantee I'll ever say again!

Matthews, join the crew!

In a hop and a skip and a toodlepip!

All right, come on, don't make it that hard.

-So what now, crew chums?

-Hmm...

Matthews is impervious to Joy

-because of his natural ridiculous happiness.

-So true!

Balding hasn't fallen prey to it because of his bad hearing,

apparently I'm "evil" which is way harsh and Bex,

-you'll do anything I say if I say it with enough enthusiasm.

-I sure will!

So, do you know what this means?

We sure don't!

We are the perfect team to fight Joy at her own game!

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK

BANG, BANG, CRASH

Whoops! Sometimes I don't know my own strength.

Oh, hello. Did we beat the evil nice lady yet?

Not yet, but listen. Joy's using her lame-o songs to hypnotise

everyone so maybe something that properly rocks can save us!

A song! Here's a favourite from many a birthday party...

# Ohh holly jolly wicky wocky Wicky wocky joy joy... #

I think we may need something a little more rugged,

raw, you know, against the grain...

We could go hippy against hippy.

# Hey hey Joy Joy

# How many brains have you destroyed? #

You want to rap, don't you?

I can talk really fast, but I can't rap.

So play something!

That is what I call my world beat.

# La la la LA La la laaaaaa! #

OK just...follow my lead, yeah?

Now we just need a way to...

..pump up the volume!

# We raise our hands

# And now our voices let the Equinox

# Come as the world rejoices. #

Arrr.

The sun is almost in alignment. The Equinox is here!

# Sing children sing Let the chosen one do his thing. #

Pepe!

# Laaaaaaaaa. #

# The circle is complete my friends

# Such a beautiful thing

# Your happiness forever more

# Shall come when this boy sings! #

# Sing for us a song for us

# Sing for us a song for us Sing for us a song for us

# Sing for us a song for us. #

Hm, wonder how Miss Terpsichore is getting on.

Good Lord! She's got the whole school engaged in some kind of...

performing arts workshop. Excellent. May as well go home early.

Mitchell, I don't have a good feeling about this,

-it looks like Pepe could get sacrificed instead of you.

-And?

And that's a very bad thing!

He may be a weird French version of Templeton,

but he's a Templeton nonetheless!

We've got to save him. Matthews, hit it!

Testing, testing, one two, buckle my shoe!

# Listen up

# It's the one and only MC Mitchell T I got my crew Bex In FX

# Mild Master Matt and DJ Baldy Baldman

# And it's going down like this. #

# It's the evil one we don't Need him any more but stop him

# Before he affects My supernatural door! #

# No ignore that old hag And her happiness bag

# She's using you lot She's gone so mad

# She's fried ya brains

# So you won't complain when

# She chooses who will be thrown away. #

# He's a pain we shall succeed

# Remember Joy is all you need

# Sing with me ignore that boy

# Joy Joy Joy Joy JOY JOY JOY! #

# Oi oi oi oi oi oi OI

# She's trying to take your Character away it's a ploy

# But this is Strange Hill We don't do boring or conforming

# Listen while we all sing! #

# Be yourself # Be yourself #

It's working! Check it out!

# Think of all the fun you had yesterday

# Don't let the memory of who You are get away

# Being upstarts Talking back in class

# Throwing paper darts, armpit f... #

# He's evil And rude his lyrics are crude

# But my fabulous boy will Sing with joy

# And unleash true happiness to crush your, um, rappiness

# Sing with me now! #

Mitchell! The stones!

We've got to be louder!

# Everybody, everyone, I want you to see

# What a sick team Strange Hill High can be

# But you don't need me You've never needed a leader

# Believe in yourselves you don't Need to believe her! #

# Be yourself just be yourself

# You'd hate it right now if you could see yourself

# It's your last chance you can free yourself

# Just remember who you are and be yourself! #

# You haven't won a thing yet On my Sun King pet

# Now do your thing Sing, Pepe, sing! #

Aaaaah!

Aaaaah!

Temps! You're back early.

# I'm sad to report I forgot my passporrrrrrrt! #

No, it's hideous!

CHEERING

So. What did I miss?

What are you doing back?

Mr Abercrombie, I'm glad you're here.

You sent me off without proper documentation.

I shouldn't be the one lecturing you about irresponsibility, but...

Aaaaaah!

# Slipping on my musical Boxing gloves

# Hard beats hard rhymes No corny stuff

# I'm saying you ain't really got Nothing for me bruv

# There's only one winner here Man sure enough

# Hey yo slipping on my music With boxing gloves

# Only one winner here man Sure enough. #