Cook Wants a Beard Swashbuckle

# A band of naughty pirates took some jewels from me

# I hid onboard their pirate ship and sailed off out to sea

# But they weren't watching where they went

# And shipwrecked on the sand

# I want to win my treasure back, will you give me a hand?

CHILDREN CHEER

# Hey-ho, Swashbucklers go

# Take on the pirates, yo-ho-ho!

# Hey-ho, Swashbucklers go

# Take on the pirates, go, go, go! #

-Will you help me win my treasure back? KIDS:

-Yeah!

-Shall I make the pirates walk the plank?

-Yeah!

Well, let's hear you then, my hearties!

# Hey-ho, Swashbucklers go

# Take on the pirates, yo-ho-ho!

# Hey-ho, Swashbucklers go

# Take on the pirates, go, go, go! #

Swashbuckle cheer!

Arrr-harrr!

-Yeah!

-Yeah! Whoo!

Ahoy there, my hearties, and welcome to Swashbuckle!

Arrr-harrr!

I'm Gem and it's great to have you all aboard.

Arrr-harrr!

Are you all ready for a rip-roaring pirate adventure?

Arrr-harrr!

Great! Now, Captain Sinker is off on her holidays

and I wonder what she's up to today?

-Oh!

-CHILDREN LAUGH

Captain Sinker's chilling on a beach

but she's left strict Captain Captain here

guarding my jewels.

Can you see her anywhere?

Boo!

-There she is!

-Oh, silence!

Where's my crew?

Cook! Line!

Yes, Captain Chief Admiral Pirate Tremendous And Incredibly Nasty -

the Third.

I told you, call me Captain Captain for short.

-Yes, Captain Captain For Short.

-LAUGHTER

I was busy relaxing earlier, reading The Pirate Handbook -

that I wrote -

and I noticed rule 63, that all pirate crew must have beards.

Huh!

Pssst! Someone doesn't have a beard, Captain Captain.

-Oh, dear! Oh, dear! Oh, dear! Oh, dear!

-Tut-tut-tut!

Beard inspections later!

No beard means big trouble!

Oh! How big do you think the trouble will be?

Hmm, let me think.

-Hmm, let me think.

-AUDIENCE LAUGH

Oh, dear! Cook needs a beard and we need to win my jewels back,

so, Squawk, let's meet today's Swashbucklers.

Playing today we've got Lucas!

CHEERING

Lucas is seven years old and can do tricks on his scooter.

His Swashbuckle name is Lagoon Lucas.

-Next, it's Archie!

-CHEERING

Archie is five and loves tigers because they can run really fast.

His Swashbuckle name is Shark Archie.

-Here's Libby!

-CHEERING

Libby is six years old and loves eating hot dogs.

Her Swashbuckle name is Rotten Libby.

-Finally, it's Alicia!

-CHEERING

Alicia is seven and likes street dance.

Gem will be dancing if the Swashbucklers win back

all her jewels today.

Alicia's Swashbuckle name is Admiral Alicia.

Welcome aboard to my new team of fantastic Swashbucklers

and you are here to help me win back all of my jewels

from Captain Captain.

But I need to make sure that you are ready for the challenge,

so let's do the Swashbuckle salute. Let me see you all marching.

Put your hands on your hearts, here we go.

-Eye patch. ALL:

-Eye patch.

-Pirates' hats.

-Pirates' hats.

-Swashbuckle cheer.

-Arrr-harrr!

Brilliant. Now this is my treasure chest,

so when you win back all of my jewels from Captain Captain,

we'll put them in here to keep them safe.

Ha-ha-ha!

These jewels are all mine and there's nothing you can do about it.

Boo!

Yes, there is, Captain Captain. We can play some games to win them back

and we are ready. So, Squawk, what is the first game?

The first game is Swashing.

The aim of the game is for one of you to dress up

in a set of Captain Captain's clothes.

All you have to do is turn the crank and get all the right pieces

of Captain Captain's laundry safely across the lagoon

for your team-mates to wear.

Be careful, those naughty pirates will be sneaky and try to stop you.

-Good luck, Swashbucklers!

-CHEERING

Thanks, Squawk. And I've got Captain Captain's flamingo slippers

here as part of her bedtime outfit.

Alicia, I'm going to pass these to you cos you're dressing up for us

and the other four items with flamingos on

are the other side of the lagoon in the baskets

where Line is folding them nicely.

And look out for Cook as well,

who may try to tickle you with the tickly seaweed!

You have as long as it takes

for the octopus to reach out

across the screen and close

the treasure chest to play the game.

-So, my hearties, are we ready to play?

-Arrr-harrr!

Then, Swashbucklers away! BELL RINGS

Come on, let's cheer them on, everyone! We can do this!

Cheeky Line!

We don't want that one! Stop it.

Excellent work, Line.

Well done, Lucas.

Get all the clothes and put them on the washing line that we need.

That's it, Libby, you keep cranking that wheel.

Archie, we have to get the hat down here. Can you get the hat down?

-Good boy!

-Tickle them, Cook.

Stop tickling our Swashbucklers!

Keep cranking, Libby. Good girl!

Archie, the hat is in the lagoon.

Can you reach it? That's it. Well done.

We need the pyjama bottoms. Bring them over.

Well done, Alicia. You can pop on the trousers and the hat.

We need the dressing gown. It's fallen in the lagoon. That's it.

We're halfway now, Swashbucklers.

Actually, it quite suits you, Alicia.

That's it, Archie, big stretch.

Come on, pull it out of the lagoon. You're so close!

Cook! We don't want this, do we, Alicia?

That's the wrong skirt!

Archie, we need this T-shirt. Quick!

Archie, we need the top. We need the top there.

Libby, crank it up. That's it.

Come on, Archie! Yes! Give it to Alicia.

We need to get the T-shirt on as quick as we can. That's it.

We've got everything we need.

Well done. And we need to get the dressing gown on.

The last few seconds are coming up.

Eight! Seven! Six!

Five! Four! Three!

Two! One!

BELL RINGS We've done it!

Alicia, give us a twirl. Let's have a look at you.

Your lovely bedtime outfit. Well done!

Squawk, you've got the bird's eye view. Over to you.

Super swashing, Swashbucklers.

Line tried to trick Lucas by giving him the wrong clothes

and Cook tried to tickle Libby.

But thanks to some serious sorting from Archie,

Alicia got Captain Captain's bedtime outfit on just in time.

It was a close shave, Gem, but it's a win!

Yes! Well done, my hearties!

You've won back our first jewel. Brilliant!

So, Captain Captain, you know the rule.

Send down a jewel!

OK. I suppose I'll play by the rules if I have to.

CHEERING

Here's the red jewel.

There you go, Alicia, into the chest.

Brilliant! Come on!

Only four more of those lovely jewels

and one of the naughty pirates will have to walk their way

into the stinky ship's mess!

No, no beard yet. Sorry.

Oh, it's not fair. I can't grow a beard at such short notice.

-You've got a beard.

-Correct.

-Gem's got a beard.

-Does she?

-Oh, yeah, so she does!

-LAUGHTER

Even the Swashbucklers have beards.

Wait a minute. Captain Captain doesn't have a beard.

You're right, she's breaking her own rule.

I'm Captain Captain! I don't have a beard!

Pirate Handbook this, Pirate Handbook that...

-Er...Cook.

-Don't interrupt, it's rude.

Plus, this is a really funny bit...

I love having baths in smelly seaweed.

She's behind me, isn't she?

And she's got a beard, hasn't she?

And she's quite angry.

Remember, beard inspection later, so I want a full beard on that face.

Well, let's hope that Cook can grow a beard in time

to keep Captain Captain happy.

Right then, Squawk, we want to play another game. What's next?

The second game is Pirate Cannons.

The aim of the game is to knock over all ten targets.

All you have to do is collect the soft green cannonballs,

load them in the cannons and fire them.

But be careful, Cook and Line will be sneaky and try to stop you.

-Go for it, Swashbucklers!

-Thank you, Squawk.

And here are the green squishy balls you need to collect

to play the game and not these yellow and blue ones

that Cook and Line have put in there to try and put you off.

They're in the baskets over there behind you but look out,

Cook and Line will also be over there trying to put you off,

so look out for those two.

Alicia and Archie, you're going to be firing the cannons.

Lucas and Libby, you can collect the green squishy balls.

Let me hand you that one to start you off. Are we ready to play?

-Arrr-harrr!

-Then Swashbucklers away!

BELL RINGS Come on then, team.

Let's fire down those targets.

That's it, line it up and fire!

Well done, Alicia, and well done, Archie.

Two down already?

This is a great start.

Eight more to knock down.

Oh, that was close!

Pack it straight down.

Line it up, that's it.

Fire! Yeah! Good girl!

Come on, Archie. Yeah!

Brilliant, that's four down. Six more to get.

Ohh, a bit too far.

Well done, Libby. Keep going as quick as you can. Good girl.

Brilliant, keep going.

Yeah!

Oh, no, they've got another one!

Right, the bottom row is all knocked over.

Just the top row now.

Yes! Four more to go, we can do this.

And we're halfway, we've still got plenty of time.

Try flinging some beach balls.

Look out for the flying beach balls.

Oh, it's a bit high that one.

Maybe this would make a nice beard.

Three more to get. Come on, team!

Good girl.

That was a close one.

You did so well, Libby, good girl.

Come on, it's the last few seconds.

You need to get these three down. Yes!

Two more. Yes!

One more. Come on! One more.

Come on, Libby, quickly! Good girl.

Archie, come on!

Yes! CHEERING

Brilliant! Well done, Swashbucklers!

Squawk, you've got the bird's eye view. Over to you.

What champion canon work, Swashbucklers.

Archie and Alicia knocked down two targets straightaway.

Then another two and another two.

With one target still standing, Alicia did some amazing aiming

and the last sea creature tumbled. Great work, Gem! It's another win.

CHEERING Yes!

Well done, Swashbucklers!

What an exciting ending and you won back the jewel, brilliant!

So, Captain Captain, you know the rule...

Send down a jewel!

I don't care about that jewel anyway.

I'm too busy growing my lovely beard.

CHEERING

Yeah, come on! Yes!

Here's the purple jewel.

There you go, Archie, into the chest please. Brilliant!

Right, time for beard inspection.

Cook better have a beard on his face.

Beard inspection, one minute and counting.

Oh, no! I still haven't got a beard!

Don't worry, I can make you a beard with, er...

..spare socks!

-What do you think?

-No.

It just looks like I've got two smelly socks stuck to my face.

My socks are not...

-HE SNIFFS

-..smelly.

Huh!

Feathers!

-I have just had the best idea.

-Me too!

-BOTH:

-We could use the feathers to make a...

chicken costume and fly away.

-Buk-arr!

-CHILDREN LAUGH

No, a beard! To make a beard!

-Yeah, beard. That's what I said, yeah.

-OK, Let's go.

Lie there and...

-How do I look?

-Oh, yeah, very beardy.

More like very tickly.

Ah... Ah...

-Oh, no, keep it in, Cook!

-Ah-choo!

I'll be down in a second.

Oh, no! I still haven't got a beard!

Leave it with me.

Ta-dah!

I love it! I love it! I love it! Yippie!

Right, Cook! Let's see that beard.

I'm sorry, Captain, I just couldn't...

It's absolutely...perfect!

I want one just like that.

This one's awfully itchy.

Excellent work, Cook. Well done!

Yeah, looks like it could do with a bit of a...trim.

All right then, my hearties.

You have to get back three of my jewels now

to make sure one of the naughty pirates walks the plank.

But before we play the Shipwreck Rummage,

let's do the Swashbuckle salute one more time.

Let me see you all marching. Put your hands on your hearts.

Here we go.

-Eye patch.

-Eye patch!

-Pirates' hats.

-Pirates' hats!

-Swashbuckle cheer.

-Arrr-harrr!

All right, bring it on!

It's the Shipwreck Rummage.

The aim of the game is to collect the rest of Gem's jewels

that have been hidden around the shipwreck.

Use the map because X marks the spot

where each of the jewels can be found.

But be careful, Cook, Line, and Captain Captain

have hidden the jewels well

and they must all be in the chest before the time runs out.

OK, my hearties.

You've got to find three of my jewels now in the Shipwreck Rummage.

Let me show you where they're hiding on this treasure map.

On the top deck, we have the blue jewel in one of the birds' nests.

On the middle deck, the green jewel is in the pool of pearls.

On the lower deck, the white jewel is over in the food store.

Lucas and Alicia, you're going first for me. Which one are you going for?

-Blue.

-The blue.

-Right to the top? OK, then. Are we ready to play...

-Arrr-harrr!

-Then Swashbucklers away! BELL RINGS

Oh, they're off!

There are three jewels missing from the treasure chest

and Alicia and Lucas are off to the top deck to find the blue.

The beach balls are flying.

-There's nothing in there!

-That's it, Alicia!

You've nearly got it. Reach up high!

-They've got the blue one. Where are you going to go?

-Green.

The green? The ball of pearls. OK.

That's it, off you go!

CHEERING

That's the blue safe.

Libby and Archie are off to rescue the green in the pool of pearls.

Archie's in feet first.

And a great dive from Libby.

We're halfway now, team. Come on!

Sweep to the bottom, Swashbucklers.

The green jewel is by your knee.

Libby's got it!

Now I need you to collect the white one from the food store.

So go find that, OK?

Quick, we're running out of time!

The green jewel's home. Just the white to go.

Alicia and Lucas are already at the food store.

Ha-ha-ha! Tipping the barrel over Line

is a great way to find the jewel.

Lucas has the white but can he get it back to the chest in time?

Quick as you can, into here.

CHEERING

Well done, Swashbucklers!

Squawk, you've got the bird's eye view. Over to you.

What a lively rummage.

Alicia brought home the blue jewel, then Libby dived for the green.

Lucas played Line at his own game

and brought a fishy friend back with the white.

It's a win!

CHEERING Well done, my hearties! You did it!

You won back all of my jewels. Thank you so much.

Now, I'd like to hand them out to you to hold on to for me.

-There you go, Archie.

-Thank you.

-There you go, Lucas.

-Thank you.

-Alicia.

-Thank you.

-You're welcome. Libby.

-Thank you.

-That's OK.

And the blue one for me. Let's hear it for my brilliant Swashbucklers.

CHEERING

We've got all five of the jewels.

You know what it's time for, one of the naughty pirates

has to walk the plank but who's it going to be?

Libby, let's spin the wheel to see.

Off we go. Big old spin. Brilliant.

Will it be Cook with the white hat?

Captain Captain with the black hat?

Or Line with the red bandana?

It's...

Captain Captain!

Oh, Captain Captain, it's time for you to...

Walk the plank!

Bye, everyone!

-No! No! No!

-Walk the plank!

-Back there, madam.

Walk the plank!

Walk the plank! Walk the plank!

Walk the plank!

CHEERING

Eurrrgh!

Looks like Captain Captain got her beard of slop after all.

We'll see you very soon for more Swashbuckle.

# Hey-ho, Swashbucklers go

# Take on the pirates yo-ho-ho

# Hey-ho Swashbucklers go

# Take on the pirates yo-ho-ho

# Hey-ho Swashbucklers go

# Take on the pirates, go go go! #

Swashbuckle cheer.

Arrr-harrr!