Risky Business The Dumping Ground

CRYING

Whose is that?

Mine.

THEY LAUGH

-Finn! What are you doing?

-Where on earth did that come from?

Chill. I got it from school. It's a PSHE project.

It's got a computer inside it set to the patterns of a real baby,

and whenever it needs feeding or changing or burping,

I have to use this wristband.

Anything I do wrong gets recorded.

OK.

Should be interesting. You're not exactly the maternal type.

Yeah, what exactly are you going to sing it to sleep with? Death metal?

Just watch. I'll be an amazing mum.

Way better than YOU'D ever be.

-OK.

-DOLL CRIES

Shh.

Remember, every great dream starts with a dreamer.

But dreams mean nothing unless you make them reality.

And you, everyone here in Newcastle today,

you have the power to do that.

You can be anything that you want to be.

Thank you.

CHEERING

-Go.

-I can't.

First rule of business is to get yourself noticed.

Hi.

Hello. Can I help with something?

What you said up there meant a lot to him.

He runs a pet-sitting business.

-Sounds interesting.

-Yeah, I started off walking dogs.

Now I take on any pets that people need help looking after.

A lot of people look after pets, but what's your USP?

Come again?

-USP. Unique selling point.

-Oh, yeah, of course.

I haven't worked that bit out yet.

I take it you're going to enter Young Entrepreneur of the Year?

-Oh, yeah, yeah, he is, he is, yeah.

-Good luck.

Come on, Mischief.

DOLL CRIES

Come on. I only left you a minute. You can't have missed me that much!

Shh!

-I can't hear the telly.

-What did you do?

-I just nipped to the loo.

He was fine. I came back - he was like this.

Tee, you get all gooey over babies.

-Help me out here.

-I knew you wouldn't last long!

-Shut up!

-Sorry, Jode, but you've got to do this one yourself.

-It's the whole point.

-Unless you want to be a cheat.

Please, just help me.

DOLL CRIES

-Want me to take him off your hands?

-Floss!

You're a star, Floss!

Thanks. It's really easy.

You just use this to feed him, change him, burp him...

I get it.

So he's all yours. But this is our little secret, right?

Sure... For a price.

Name it.

£1.50 an hour - first hour up front.

Plus cake, loads of cake.

CRYING CONTINUES

SHE SIGHS

CRYING STOPS

See? I'm worth it.

Just get out.

Imagine what we could do with a grand if we win.

-We?

-Well, yeah, I'll need a business partner,

and you've helped me out big time with my leaflets and stuff.

Just leave me alone, all right?

RAISED VOICES

Oi!

Threatening a girl?

DOG WHINES

Just do one, before I set my dog on you.

-You OK?

-I was handling it.

It's cool, there's no need to thank me.

DOG BARKS

Oh, Mo!

DOG BARKS

Sorry, I didn't even notice.

Yeah, I can't think why.

I'm Bailey, that's Mo.

And that's my dog, Mischief.

Hollie, and Princess.

I'm a pet-sitter, professional.

Ah. Nice job.

THEY GIGGLE

I'm sure he'll be just fine.

We're not a bad lot. And listen, thanks for coming.

Bye, see you again.

-That's Sammy.

-When were you going to mention this?

His aunt was supposed to pick him up from the foster home,

but she's been taken ill.

So we have him for a couple of days.

-Yeah, I've heard that before.

-They promised me.

Oh, where's he gone?

HE SIGHS

-Great start.

-New boy - so high, red hair.

Go, go, go.

Duncan reckons the business needs something else.

-A USP.

-Have you seen this?

It's a marketing workshop in London this Wednesday.

-Looks sick.

-Why don't we go?

It's all about getting the best out of your business and all that.

Hang on. Maybe we could join forces.

I'm pitching pet therapy and I could use your dog.

No, Mischief is pretty sorted.

-He doesn't need therapy.

-It's not for dogs, you idiot.

You take pets into hospitals, old people's homes, and stuff.

It cheers them up. The people, I mean.

Yeah, yeah, I knew that.

The two of us could win the competition together.

-The two of us?

-I mean, if we team up,

with my idea and as many pets as you can get hold of, we'd smash it.

We could be each other's USP.

-Yeah, let's do it.

-You've only just met!

You poor thing! You're all mucky.

Why don't you pop off home and get washed?

Yeah, the only thing is London. It's going to cost a bomb.

-Ask your mum and dad.

-That's going to be a bit tricky.

You know what I think? If you want something bad enough,

you'll find a way. I always do.

I only paid £4 for this dress.

-What do you think?

-I think they owe you £3.50.

I think you look like a banana.

I like bananas. Eating them makes your brain feel happier.

Oh, I'm Sammy.

Oh, come in, make yourself at home(!)

Don't worry about knocking.

It's only our personal space, right, Carmen?

-Yeah.

-Am I going to get a room like this? Cos this is mega.

What's the food like? Do you get a menu, like a cafe?

In your dreams!

Wait till you hear about all the rules.

What rules?

There are so many, like boundaries.

You know, you don't just open a door unless you're invited to.

That is very, very important.

And you don't take other people's stuff without permission.

That's another one.

Don't drink juice straight from the carton that's in the fridge.

And don't bring guests in without permission.

There you are. I didn't know where you'd gone!

There's rules about that as well.

Oh, no, No. Don't look so worried!

No, no. You're going to love it here. Come on.

He's right, though, you do look like a banana.

I think someone's got a little crush.

Yeah, he's just a bit shy, if you know what I'm saying.

Here's my place.

Wow. It looks all right.

You can come in, if you like.

I can't, I've got to take Mischief home.

I can come to yours.

-No, you can't, because it's just...

-Oh, let me guess.

You're taking your goldfish to have a haircut!

-Why don't you just tell the truth?

-The truth...

HE SIGHS

I live in a kids' home, OK?

It's all rules and risk assessments.

I'm not allowed to invite mates back,

or go to their houses without getting the all-clear.

I'm guessing you wouldn't want to invite me now, anyway?

Yeah, you're right, I only hang out with posh, rich kids.

SHE LAUGHS

Bailey, I was kidding!

Bailey!

It is going to be so cool sharing a room.

Do you like to get up early? Because I do!

-No.

-And do you get to do this, like, every day?

You know, muck about in the garden,

-play a bit of footie with your mates?

-Yeah.

-That is mega.

I've never really thought of it like that.

But now Tyler steps up to hit the shot.

Oh, and he misses!

DOLL CRIES

CRYING CONTINUES

CRYING CONTINUES

Have you lost something?

-Where's the baby?

-Sleeping like a log.

Just as well. You lost this!

Carmen thinks I'm a useless mum now,

and she's never going to shut up about it.

Imagine what they'd say

if they found out you weren't looking after her.

-You'd better not.

-Silence costs.

I'll have another pound.

Cheers!

-What's this?

-Next year's profit forecast.

-How's it looking?

-It depends whether you make the right choices.

-You can count on it.

-You dumped me for a girl.

A girl with a dog named Princess.

And I wrecked my watch, thanks to Mischief.

Look, I didn't dump anyone. It's you.

You got the wrong end of the stick.

I won't be seeing her again.

-She blew it.

-Yeah?

There he is, our very own Richard Branson.

-How'd it go?

-You know the winner gets a grand?

Good to see you all fired up again.

Yeah, there's a business workshop in London.

-Any chance I can go?

-How are you going to afford it?

-A loan, maybe?

-Sorry, pal, you know we can't.

# Rise up and take the power back

# It's time the fat cats had a heart attack...#

What do you want now?

Still no baby?

If you're looking for a baby, I'm pretty sure there's one in the shed.

In the shed?

Well, I didn't look, but I heard one.

You heard a baby in the shed but you didn't look?

Well, I was going to, but then I remembered the rules,

-the ones you taught me.

-Rules have exceptions.

We just forgot to tell him that bit. DOLL CRIES

Are you all right, Corey?

-Corey?

-Yeah, Corey Taylor, lead singer of Slipknot.

-I don't get it, why would you leave him in the shed?

-I didn't!

Well, then who did?

You left Floss in charge of a baby?

I wouldn't even leave Floss in charge of my toenail clippings!

Yeah, because that's my life's dream.

Wristband - now!

Shh, shh.

MUSIC: Get Some Sleep by Bic Runga

DOLL CRIES

# From here to there to everywhere and back Union Square

# Where do I get some sleep? #

-Stop.

-SHE SIGHS

# ..Anywhere the sleep dust lies It decorates your eyes

# Where do I get some sleep? #

DOLL CRIES

DOLL CRIES

CRYING STOPS

Shh.

BIRDS COO

MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO

Is there any toast left?

How come you're fresh as a daisy while the rest of us are walking

-around like the living dead?

-Because she slept right through it.

Good job that baby doesn't actually need feeding.

Well, she did it in the end.

I don't quite know how you managed to settle him, but it worked.

It's a new technique I heard about - controlled crying.

There's nothing controlled about that racket.

Nah, for real. You just let them wail and they get bored and stop.

-Are you sure about that?

-Well, it worked, didn't it?

Can you hold him while I get the jam?

Bailey? You've got a visitor.

-I've signed her in already.

-Hollie!

I was joking yesterday.

I didn't think you'd be so touchy.

We're just about to go to work.

Here, I'll take Corey.

-Thank you.

-Who's she? Is she your girlfriend?

-Have you kissed her yet?

-Yeah, have you, Bailey?

-Do you want a cup of tea?

-No.

We're going to be late, aren't we?

-Or you can come with me instead, if you fancy it.

-Yeah. Cool.

WOLF WHISTLE

You don't mind, do you, bro?

-Didn't think you wanted to see me again.

-To be honest, I didn't.

But Princess was pining for Mischief.

So, where are we going first, then?

MUSIC: Don't by Ed Sheeran

# Met this girl late last year

# She said don't you worry if I disappear

# I told her I'm not really looking for another mistake

# I called an old friend thinking that the trouble would wait

# But then I jump right in a week later returned

# I reckon she was only looking for a lover to burn

# But I gave her my time for two or three nights

# Then I put it on pause until the moment was right

# I'd rather put on a film with you and sit on the couch

# But we should get on a plane or we'll be missing it now

# She should figure it out while I'm sat here singing

# Ah la-la-la-la. #

Here, read this.

It's from Miss Pearce.

"Bailey is a polite, punctual and trustworthy young man.

"I would have no hesitation in recommending his services."

-Nailed it!

-Yeah.

Duncan said get five references.

-I've got two.

-And we need a new business plan.

I mean, if we're still going to join forces?

-Yeah, we better get working fast, then.

-And what about London?

Are you still up for it?

I'd have to sell a leg to get a train ticket.

Well, what are you doing later?

Reckon you could come to mine for tea?

DOLL WAILS

I think he's pre-programmed to cranky.

They do that, you know. I've looked it up.

Why would they give me a cranky one?

They're trying to match the baby to you.

Maybe I can swap it.

Get it reprogrammed.

Yeah, let's hope you don't have actual kids.

Hang on, if she swaps it, then we all get a break.

-It's not a bad idea.

-That's giving up.

You can't just chuck something out because it's not perfect.

-You have to work with what you've got and make it better.

-Shh!

MUSIC: Do It Again by Pia Mia feat. Chris Brown and Tyga

# Hey, boy When I first met you

# Thought it was special

# I told you that

# Hey, boy... #

Hey, Bez, you ready?

I spoke to Hollie's dad, told him I was going to drop you over.

First date, eh? Don't worry, they're going to love you.

Let's go.

Hey!

-They're my best roses.

-Come on, Mike, it's a date.

Please?

Go on.

Yeah, then I realised that if I didn't make it into football,

I had to have a plan B.

You should be proud of yourself.

-Should I?

-Yeah, you've had a tricky start in life

and you've turned it around.

-Good for you!

-Yeah, anyway, that was delicious.

Wait until you see what's next.

Hollie's favourite. Cake!

So, he pretty much loves you and that's not the only good news.

Train fares to London on me.

-Did you ask your dad for it?

-Don't mention it to him now.

He'll be embarrassed. Always spoiling me.

London here we come! SHE GIGGLES

Yes!

The master shall triumph...

..yet again.

DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

-Mike?

-HE YELLS

THEY LAUGH

There's an old lady at the door, she says it is urgent.

All right, coming.

Very funny!

I'm telling you that was on my side wall. You are responsible.

-That's one of my customers.

-Oh, dear, didn't look very satisfied.

It's your fault!

I'm going to have words to say to your boss, bonny lad.

Problem?

-Man, what's Miss Pearce doing here?

-She said she's been robbed.

30 quid has disappeared from her sideboard.

Look, I'm sure it's a misunderstanding, all right?

-Does she think I took it?

-For the record, mate, I don't.

Bailey, I've just had two of your customers on the phone.

Said something about missing money?

Look, I didn't take it. I wouldn't.

-Think we'd better get home.

-I'm not going anywhere.

Let's not jump to conclusions, please.

-I usually find there's no smoke without fire.

-He didn't do it.

Hey, this is even better than the telly.

Do you think we'll get a ride in the cop car?

What's happened?

-Is Bailey OK?

-Right, everyone inside now.

Come on.

I'm sorry, but it looks like you've had a lucky escape.

Why is everyone so quick to think the worst of me?

You liked me before, you even gave us the cash go to London.

London? Hollie asked me for the cash

but I certainly didn't give it to her. We barely know you.

Looks like we're taking a trip down the station, come on.

MUSIC: I Can't Feel My Face by The Weekend

# And I know she'll be the death of me, at least we'll both be numb

# And she'll always get the best of me

# The worst is yet to come

# This I know

# This I know. #

DOOR CLOSES

-What happened?

-They're investigating me on four counts of theft.

-But there's no evidence.

-Except I was in the houses.

I'm sorry, Bailey, but I'm going to have to tell you.

Some more customers have called and cancelled your services.

It won't be long until word gets out to all of them.

I need a cup of tea.

I know you didn't do it. Why aren't you telling anyone the truth?

-It was her.

-You don't know anything.

-And now you feel stupid because you trusted her. I get it.

-No.

Say it is true, who do you think they're going to believe?

A care kid who needed the cash?

Or some rich girl who's got everything?

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

I'm probably the last person you want to see.

-Yeah, too right.

-I know I messed up,

-but I did it for you.

-Are you being serious?

These people trusted me.

Do you have any idea how good that made me feel?

I suppose I didn't really think about that.

I just wanted us to go to London!

So you thought you'd wreck my business and my chances in the

competition? Just ruin everything?

All the dreams I had to make something of my life.

Oh, come on! I can pay them back.

That's not the point.

I took a stranger into their homes and that stranger robbed from them.

Is this true?

Hm?

-I'm calling the police.

-No!

Don't!

I'll do it myself.

TYRES SCREECH

DOG BARKS

THUNDER RUMBLES, DOG HOWLS

DOLL CRIES

SNORING

MUSIC: Counting Stars by OneRepublic

# Baby, I've been I've been loving losing sleep

# Dreaming about the things that we could be

# Baby, I've been I've been I've been praying hard

# So no more counting dollars

# We'll be counting stars. #

What are you doing?

Just trying to shut this little gremlin up.

# Shh, little baby Don't you cry. #

-You used to look after your sister, didn't you?

-So what?

No-one is going to believe you've been rocking a doll to sleep.

No-one is going to find out.

Unless you want to make yourself look even more stupid,

when they find out I'm the one stopping this thing crying.

Just saying.

-Must have come easy.

-Easy?

You've got no idea.

Someone had to do it.

Imagine if I'd given up on Glennie like you've done

-with your little mate, Corey?

-It's not a real baby.

-It's hardly the same!

-It's the same principle.

Anyway, everyone thinks you're a quitter.

Guess they're right.

DOLL WAILS

I give up, Corey, mate.

I just don't know what else I can do.

You've only had it for three days and you're already giving up.

-How rubbish are you?

-Yeah, well, maybe I'm just like my mum.

-She was pretty rubbish too.

-Yeah, and you should be a top mum,

and not make the same mistakes she did.

At least she taught you something.

You should go out for the ice cream.

That's what all the girls do in trashy films when they get dumped.

-Yeah, who's been dumped? It's nothing to do with Hollie.

-No?

I'm losing customers by the minute.

All my hard work has just turned into a big fat nothing.

So you've got to work twice as hard to get them back again.

You can't give up just because you've hit a bump.

Mate, you've got a nerve, haven't you?

-I had nothing to do with it, honestly.

-Why should I believe that?

I haven't got no reason for you to believe it

-but if you just give me one second to explain.

-Come on, then.

-The night was black...

-CRYING

..there was a stench of rotten corpses in the air,

a lust for blood and guts as the earth began to stir,

and bony fingers clawed holes in...

coffin lids.

Look at that, he's a chip off the old block.

-Finally.

-Maybe you're not the quitter I had you down for, Jodes.

Careful, Carmen, you're almost nice to me.

We all might actually get some kip now.

And just for the record, Jodes, you're right,

you'll be an amazing mum.

You can be anything you want to be.

MUSIC: Let Her Go by Passenger

OK, I think the judges have made their minds up,

so to announce the winner of the Young Entrepreneur of the Year

-is Duncan Bannatyne.

-Where have you been?

-They're about to announce it.

-All right, I'm here now.

And the winner is, for a speedy scooter scheme,

-Myah Young! Well done, Myah.

-APPLAUSE

# You only need the light when it's burning low

# Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

# Only know you love her when you let her go... #

That could've been us if I didn't mess up.

# ..Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

# Only hate the road when you're missing home

# Only know you love her when you let her go... #

The pet-sitter, right?

Chin up. Anything that's worth winning is worth fighting for.

-Yeah, my business partner's on that.

-Good luck, see you next year.

Business partner?

Well, yeah, if you're still up for it.

I got this for you.

-Hold Mischief.

-I hope it's all right.

You didn't have to!

It is my fault you trashed that other one.

I'm sorry about Hollie.

No, she did me a favour.

There's me worried that she'll think I'm a reject.

Turns out rejects come in perfect packaging as well.

HE CHUCKLES

Hi. I'm sorry you didn't win.

I'm guessing you won't want to work with me any more,

-but you can have my idea, if you want it.

-No, it's cool.

We'll find our own.

I still really like you.

And I really liked you too.

It's all about business now.

See you around, yeah?

# ..Cos you only need the light when it's burning low

# Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

# Only know you love her when you let her go

# And you let her go. #