Rough Justice The Dumping Ground

All rise.

Please be seated.

Could you introduce yourselves to the jury?

Sasha Bellman, barrister for the defence.

Floss Guppy, banister for the...

-WHISPERS:

-Prosecution.

-..prosecution.

Could you please bring in the defendants?

State your names, please.

But I didn't do anything wrong.

Your name, please, Mr Stubbs.

Joseph Stubbs.

-Jody Jackson.

-On the charge of theft, how do you plead?

BOTH: Not guilty.

Mike?

Oh, I'm just waiting to take the stand.

WHISPERS: Go and close the door, please.

Have I just walked into a parallel universe?

There's been a theft.

Joseph and Jody are in the dock.

The kids decided that this was the best way to get to the truth.

-Joseph and Jody?

-Yeah,

which is why I've put Charlie in charge as the judge.

She's got a great sense of right and wrong.

Are you sure this is a good idea?

Yeah. They insisted on it,

and I think it's great that they want to sort it out themselves.

-Well, let's hope you're right.

-Yeah.

Your Honour, I'd like to call the first witness.

Calling Michael Milligan to the stand.

Oh, that's your cue.

This way, please, sir.

Bought you some glue.

I'm sure we can fix it.

Don't bother.

Was a present from your mum, wasn't it?

It's just old stuff. It should be in the bin.

I know some memories are difficult...

..but one day you're going to want to know where you came from.

It's these photos and letters that make up who we are.

Can I go to the library?

Why don't you stay here for a bit?

-Keep Alex company?

-OK.

I'm sorry. I broke it.

Is this you?

Can I look at them?

Whatever.

-Where are you going?

-To put this in the bin.

Could you please tell me what happened this morning, Mr Milligan?

Joseph organised a jumble sale to try and raise some money for a

trip to the planetarium.

-Oh, hi...

-I got to hand it to you, Joseph, this is a great idea.

Could have never done it without Jody.

Just needed some direction, that's all.

I really appreciate you taking him under your wing.

Yeah, well, it means a lot to him, doesn't it?

Well, he's nothing if not enthusiastic.

It's basically a giant mobile phone.

Isn't that the office phone?

I mean, £3?

-Yeah.

-Sorry.

I'm really sorry, forgive me.

-This isn't for sale.

-Sorry.

-What?

-What are you doing?

How about this? 50p.

-JOSEPH:

-Do you think we've raised enough to go to the planetarium?

You and Jody are in charge of the takings - you tell me.

Go on!

There's at least 20.

-£25.

-All right.

Well, I think that's more than enough to go and see some asteroids,

-don't you?

-Yes!

I've got some more to sell.

Where did you find that?

It was up in the attic.

Right, get it priced up.

-Get selling.

-Roll up, roll up, over here, ladies and gents!

Raising money for an intergalactic space mission.

How long did the jumble sale go on for?

About another hour.

That's funny, I thought it was meant to go on all day.

It was. But things got a little heated.

-Where are you going?

-Um, I sold all my make-up.

-But you had loads.

-Yeah, some supermodel from round the corner,

she bought it all.

This is turning into real teamwork.

We know how much that make-up meant to you.

Just doing my bit to help.

Thanks, Candi.

-Oh!

-That's mine.

Give it back.

Finders keepers.

Oh, just give us it back.

-Now look what you've done!

-I'm sorry.

Alex, it was an accident.

Alex! Come on.

What did you do that for?

Right, I think it's time to call it a day, don't you?

CHILDREN PROTEST

Come on, we've already made more than enough money.

So I suggest that you take the money into the office, please.

The rest of us, let's clear these tables down.

Get them back inside. Yeah, just get on with it. Yeah, that's...

Shortly after that, we discovered that the money was missing.

Who do you think stole it?

I don't know.

All I will say is that these are both good kids and I don't believe

for a second that either of them would resort to stealing.

No further questions, Your Honour.

Could I ask you to look at exhibit A, please, Mr Milligan?

Can you explain what it is?

It's an empty packet of doughnuts.

Why is the packet empty?

-Someone ate them?

-And is that someone you?

-Obstruction, Your Honour!

-You're meant to say objection.

-Objection!

-Overruled.

-Whatever.

-Your Honour, this is ridiculous.

-I'm here as a witness for...

-Please answer the question, Mr Milligan.

For goodness' sake...

I don't even like custard doughnuts.

Who said they were custard?

I put it to you that you stole the doughnuts out of the cupboard and

ate the whole packet yourself.

HE SCOFFS

-Look, I don't see...

-That will be all.

No further questions.

But...

Are you coming inside?

-Is this your mum?

-Maybe.

I can't remember.

It said your name on the back.

-Then it must be.

-Why don't you want to see?

Because I don't, all right.

It's just a stupid photo.

Tell you what, will you come with me to the library?

Why?

It'll be fun.

It beats sitting round here all day.

Please could you tell the court what you were doing between the hours of

11 and two today?

Me and Joseph were making a model of the solar system.

And where was Joseph?

He was...in the office with Jody.

There's... £27 and 34p exactly.

Good maths.

I've got the pipe cleaners and the tennis balls.

-What are you doing?

-We're making the solar system.

Uh... What should we do with the money?

Just leave it here. Mike'll be back any minute.

And the money was still in the office when Jody and Joseph

-went upstairs?

-Yes.

How long were you and Joseph gone for?

-About three hours.

-And you're sure you didn't thieve once?

No.

No further questions, Your Honour.

He doesn't stand a chance.

Please could you take a look at exhibit B?

Does this look like the solar system to you?

No.

OTHERS LAUGH

What were you really doing?

Please answer the question.

I don't know.

Well, maybe this will help refresh your memory.

There were all sorts of strange things going on in the garden today.

Some of these questions can be answered.

My name is Dexter Bellman and I'm going to attempt a new world record.

Start the clocks.

OTHERS LAUGH

-What's he doing?

-Shh!

Stop and zoom in.

Could you explain to the jury who that is?

It's me and Joseph.

And what are you doing?

We're trying to be solar panels.

So you weren't in your room?

-The sun came out.

-So why did you lie?

Silence in court.

-JOSEPH:

-Because if we told people, they'll try and steal our ideas.

I said, order!

So you lied under oath?

Yeah.

No further questions, Your Honour.

This isn't the way to the library.

We're taking a short cut.

-Why?

-It's a surprise.

Could you please inform the court what you were doing between the

hours of 11 and two today?

Um...I was practising my contouring.

Would you please explain to the jury what contouring is?

You dip your blusher in your bronzer and you draw a brown stripe

underneath each cheek and it enhances your bone structure.

HE PRETENDS TO YAWN LOUDLY

But I put too much bronzer on and I ended up looking like a satsuma!

-And then what did you do?

-Well, there was a knock at the door,

but when I answered no-one was there.

And then what happened?

I went to get a tissue from the bathroom.

That's when I saw Jody lying on her bed.

-And what was she doing?

-She was reading her book.

And you're absolutely certain it was her?

Yes, I saw her with my own eyes.

No further questions, Your Honour.

How could you do your make-up if you sold it all in the jumble sale?

I kept some of it.

How much?

-Er, um, just...

-You're under oath.

-All of it.

-It's not fair!

I sold my rollerblades.

And my favourite top.

Silence.

I needed it!

Could I ask you to look at exhibit C, please?

Could you tell me what colour eye shadow this is?

It's cherry, of course.

Actually, it's plum.

When was the last time you had your eyes tested?

Um...

I...I don't know.

I can see things close up, just not far away.

So, how do you know it was Jody?

Um... I...

-Look, can we not just take a breather?

-I need the toilet.

-What is the point of me being here?

-We've been here for ages.

SILENCE in court!

That's my line. Shush, you lot!

No further questions, Your Honour.

What are we doing in the park?

I thought your mum might be here.

Well, you shouldn't interfere with things that don't concern you.

I was trying to help.

-I don't need your help.

-Maybe she's sorry.

If she was sorry then she wouldn't have left me, would she?

So, can you tell us really what happened between

the hours of 11 and two today?

We were out in the garden.

-Why are we doing this?

-Because we're going to be the world's first humans

-to be solar panels.

-But how does it work?

The rays from the sun create renewable energy.

And this is really going to make us zillionaires?

It's my best invention yet.

So, what do we do?

Close your eyes and stand still.

You were in the garden the whole time?

With our eyes closed.

So you never took the money?

It was for everyone, why would I?

No further questions, Your Honour.

Please could you take a look at exhibit D?

Could you explain to the jury what this is?

It's a catalogue...

..for the local gadget shop.

And which item has got a big circle round it?

"Build your own rocket". I was saving up for one.

And how much is this rocket?

-SOFTLY:

-£25.

-What?!

-£25.

I think we all know what really happened, don't we, Mr Stubbs?

You went out into the back garden.

You tricked Archie into keeping his eyes shut.

I'll tell you when you can open them.

You then crept into the house...

..then snuck into the office...

..and took the money.

Yes!

I didn't take it.

Sasha, please could you hand the money tin to Taz?

Ew! It's all sticky.

Sticky with what?

Um...it looks like strawberry jam.

What were you eating earlier today, Mr Stubbs?

-Jam tarts.

-Jam tarts.

That doesn't mean I stole it.

No further questions, Your Honour.

Your brother's in prison, isn't he, Miss Jackson?

Objection, Your Honour.

Overruled. Please continue.

And when did you last hear from him?

I don't remember.

Well, please can you have a look at exhibit E?

Wait a minute, that's mine.

Floss, you can't read that.

Stop!

-"Hey, sis..."

-She stole that from my room.

Do something!

I'm afraid I can't take sides.

Fine, then I'll do it myself.

Back in the stand, Miss Jackson.

She's trying to destroy evidence!

Give the evidence back, please.

You want to know what it says?

He wants money again, all right?

OTHERS GASP

Just like he always does.

No...

But that doesn't mean that I stole it.

So, why did we find this next to the bin?

No. I don't know where you got those from.

They're nothing to do with me.

You weren't in your room reading, were you?

You grabbed the jeans, stuffed them with newspaper.

You then knocked on Candi-Rose's door before running off downstairs.

You snuck into the office and stole the money.

That's a lie.

No further questions, Your Honour.

It's now down to the jury to retire and consider their verdict.

You're so going down.

Do you remember your mum?

Not really. She took me out in the car once and bought me a bottle of

-pop and a comic.

-Where were you going?

She said it was a holiday.

But it wasn't.

She dumped me on the side of the pavement outside my dad's work.

Never saw her again.

Mums are supposed to kiss your knee when you fall over,

be there for you when you're sad.

She didn't care about me.

If she did, then she'd still be here.

Where are you going?

Away from here.

What about your mum?

I don't have a mum.

I don't have anyone.

You only have to look at them to know they're hiding something.

Joseph was scratching his nose.

-What does that mean?

-Well, it means he's guilty.

OK, let's start with Jody.

-She would never steal.

-She's done it before, hasn't she?

Yeah, but that was different.

Once a thief, always a thief.

You can't say that.

-She's our friend.

-Not any more, she's not. They're suspects.

And now it's down to us to decide who's guilty.

How long do we have to wait?

Until they've decided whether we're guilty or not.

So, if you did it, now's the time to confess.

-I didn't do it.

-Neither did I.

-So who did?

-If I knew that we wouldn't be here, would we?

-What you doing?

-I just want to know what they're saying about us.

Do you think we should go in there?

No, because then we'd be in even more trouble.

Look, I didn't even want to do the stupid

jumble sale in the first place.

Mike just made me help you cos he thought you'd

mess it up on your own.

-I tried my best.

-Yeah,

and look where that's got us.

OK, what about Joseph?

Easy, he needed the money for the stupid rocket.

But he put so much effort into organising everything.

He needed money fast.

And this was the best way of getting it.

No, he's so nice.

That's what he wants you to believe.

Trust me, underneath all that geeky stuff,

there's a criminal mastermind.

No, I don't believe it.

They were the only people who knew where the money was being kept.

Well, maybe someone else saw it.

Ugh! I can't believe you're defending them.

This is our money they took.

Hands up who thinks they're innocent.

Think what you like - I'm the foreman of the jury,

and I say they're guilty.

-WHISPERS:

-Come on.

It's not looking good.

-What are they saying?

-Guilty on all counts.

-Unless...

-Unless what?

You need to do what I tell you.

-What's that?

-It'll cost you.

-How much?

-Three bars of chocolate.

Deal.

You need to tell the judge Jody did it.

Why would I do that?

Because when someone gets the blame, we can all go to the planetarium.

But Jody's my friend.

She'd do the same to you if she had the chance.

The jury have reached their verdict.

It's dog eat dog.

Silence.

Has the jury reached a verdict on which you all agreed?

We have.

Do you find the defendants guilty or not guilty?

-Well...

-Can I say something first?

Joseph?

-Floss told me to lie.

-What?!

-Lie about what?

-To say that Jody was guilty.

-I knew it.

-What?!

ALL SHOUT AT ONCE

Order! Order!

Whoa!

-Flo, is this true?

-I was only trying to help.

-I can't believe you'd do that.

-Can I give my verdict now?

No. I'm afraid that I'm declaring this a mistrial.

Mike, we've been doing this all day!

-You can't do that.

-We still don't know who stole the money!

I wouldn't be so sure about that.

Ben, what are you doing?

I'm leaving a note.

What note?

"IOU £25."

OTHERS LAUGH

I think you and I need to have a little chat. Come on.

Joseph and Jody, you are free to go.

ALL CHEER

-Why did you take the money?

-Because I wanted to buy this for Alex.

I was going to pay it back.

-Joseph and Jody could have got into a lot of trouble today.

-I'm sorry.

It's not me you need to apologise to, is it?

Here.

Go and give that to Alex.

I'll figure what to do with you later, you doughnut. Go on.

I've got you a present.

Thanks.

You do have someone.

-Who?

-Us.

Right, young astronauts, space shuttle blasts off in T minus two.

Last one out has to be Pluto.

-Can I stay here with Finn?

-Well, yeah, course.

-Well, if that's what you want.

-You don't have to.

-No, I want to. You want to come play pool?

-Yeah.

Coats on, please.

-What was your verdict going to be?

-Not guilty, of course.

He's lying. If it was down to him, you'd be in prison by now.

Hey, where do you think you're going? You're grounded, remember?

That's not fair. What did I do?

Oh, let's see, shall we?

Well, perverting the course of justice, for one.

Perjury.

ALL: Ooh!

Lying under oath.

-ALL: Mmm!

-Bribery and corruption.

Ooh! I put it to you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

that this young lady should be disbarred.

-Right, let's take a rocket to the stars!

-You guys ready?

Ready. Come on.

-Bye, guys!

-Bye!

Right, young lady, scrub-a-dub-dub, get your rubber gloves on.

Kitchen first.

MAY-LI LAUGHS