Where You Belong The Dumping Ground


Where You Belong

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LineFromTo

No, Archie, from the top.

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-Wash from the top.

-Are you blind?

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-I obviously can't reach.

-It's streaking.

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Go over that bit again.

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Oi, watch it.

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What are YOU actually doing?

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It's called project management, candyfloss.

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Mike! I've had enough.

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Oh, look at the mess.

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Mike?

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Position one, copy.

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-Copy.

-Position two, copy.

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-Copy.

-Position three, copy.

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Taz, copy!

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SHE GRUNTS

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Copy.

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OK, if we're going to do this, then we need to do it properly.

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Mike!

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Anyone?

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Do not get any of this over yourself.

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CHARGE!

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ALL SHOUT

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ALL LAUGH

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Um... Look, I didn't see the washing.

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-No, it's fine.

-If I'd known you were there...

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-No, I said it's fine.

-I'm nearly done with your appraisal.

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With only a few days to spare.

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-Bags of time yet.

-Not if you get distracted.

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Have a little faith.

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-Oh, thank you.

-It's OK.

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I'll have your appraisal done in no time at all.

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You can write it yourself, and I'll sign it.

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I'm kidding.

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I'm kidding!

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HE SIGHS

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THEY LAUGH

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Sort out this before May-Li sees.

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Oh, we were just messing around.

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-Please.

-That keen?!

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He's in her bad books.

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He didn't do her report card.

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-Ooh, schoolboy error!

-Rookie mistake.

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Ryan, that was a private conversation.

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For your trouble, young man, you get to tidy the attic.

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And you're on bathroom duty.

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I am not touching the toilet.

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You two, sort this out.

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Now, shift!

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-On edge or what?

-Big time.

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It's always a win-win for us, though.

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-How come?

-We always get away with so much more when they fall out.

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The last time, they left the Wi-Fi on all night.

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Wonder what we could get this time.

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I don't think that we should be thinking about...

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Oh, get a grip.

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It's only a bit of fun.

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SHE SIGHS

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I know how we should play this.

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I've called a house meeting to discuss Dexter.

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I mean, who does he think he is?

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Bossing us all around.

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So he told you what to do.

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-You don't have to listen.

-It's more than that.

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He's selfish, too.

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He takes what he wants, even Mike lets him do it.

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And he told me he likes books,

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but he only uses them to make sure his desk doesn't wobble.

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-He ate all my sweets.

-He said that he likes Fifth Harmony better than

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Little Mix.

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What? It really hurt my feelings.

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He needs to be taught a lesson.

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And I'm just the one to do it.

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You want to teach me a lesson?

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Someone has to.

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Bring it on, dental floss.

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Ugh! This game is rubbish.

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Oh, don't be such a sore loser.

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I mean...

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..what even is this?

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Well, it's a shuttlecock.

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I'm out.

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Right, come on, Charlie, I guess you're up.

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Me?

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-No, I don't want to.

-Oh, come on, Charlie.

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Please, we need the numbers.

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Yeah. I mean, look, it's hardly Wimbledon.

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It doesn't matter if you can't play.

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-That's tennis.

-Well, come on, you know what I mean.

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-Give it a go.

-Come on, man.

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-Please.

-All right, then.

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Right, I'll serve.

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BOTH: Ooh, la, la, la, la, la!

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Ooh, la, la, la, la, la! Ooh...

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Can I borrow the tablet?

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I need to check on my virtual farm.

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Did you hear something?

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-Very funny.

-Sounds like an annoying fly.

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Buzz, buzz, buzz.

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Well, if there's no-one to answer to, I guess I can just take it.

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BOTH: Oi!

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Give us back the tablet!

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Ooh, careful!

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Fine, pick them up meself, then.

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Going to help?

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Appraisal to finish. Must avoid distractions.

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How do you spell "impatient"?

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HE CHUCKLES

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-It's not working.

-What's going on?

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Tell your brother we changed the password.

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-You tell him.

-He's in the freezer.

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Tell them I don't need their password or them.

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He doesn't need your password or...

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No, this is stupid.

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You live on that tablet, you do need the password.

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Not if I get one of my own.

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And how are you going to do that, then?

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You think those two losers are going to stop me?

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I've had much worse and I always come out on top.

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Good luck with that.

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Pass us a chocolate bar, Oliver.

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Here you are, have two, man.

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Ooh! Get in.

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I thought you were meant to be tidying up the attic?

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It's all in hand.

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Seems to be today's theme.

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And what's with all this?

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Um, Mike said, keep out of your way.

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-Keep it low-key.

-Do some homework.

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Hey, who's going to tidy up the mess?!

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SHE SIGHS

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Are you watching TV?

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Yeah, this actually took a lot of planning.

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Press play, Jodes. Shh!

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Are you kidding me?!

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You're supposed to be doing your chores.

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May-Li said she wasn't happy with the noise we were making.

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-Oh, come on.

-You can ask her if you want to.

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But you will be questioning our judgment.

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Yeah, true, that might not be smart.

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Just this once.

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-Awesome!

-I'm not sure if we should be doing this.

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-Oh, shut up, Jodes.

-What's going on?

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ALL: Shut the door!

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"Diligent and organised, a valued team member."

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No.

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"Indispensable team member."

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What have I done now?

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Nothing.

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It doesn't matter.

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It clearly does.

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-You're barely speaking.

-I'm sick of this.

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The kids are running wild.

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Oh, come on, they're not that bad.

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Really? You give them too much room.

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Here we go.

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Like I'm the only one who lets them get away things.

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-Excuse me?!

-Nothing.

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Everything's a joke to you, innit?

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I mean, you're so laid-back.

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The kids are running riot around here.

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I mean, this place is a tip.

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-VOICEOVER:

-"Diligent and organised", scratch that.

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Inflexible, controlling, humourless.

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Always glass half-empty.

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But you know, it's part of the job, right?

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-Mike? VOICEOVER:

-Uh-oh.

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You're supposed to be a role model, and you're not even listening to me.

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Course I am.

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-WHISPERS:

-But some peace would be good.

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What was that?

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A cup of tea would be good.

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SHE SIGHS

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Hopeless.

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HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

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-What?

-Er...

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Mike said I'm OK to use his computer?

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Homework.

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Not saying no to much these days.

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-Go ahead.

-Thanks.

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-MIKE'S VOICEOVER:

-Inflexible, controlling, humourless,

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always glass half-empty.

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-Everything OK?

-Fine, fine.

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PHONE KEYPAD BEEPS

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-Ryan wants us in the house.

-Shh!

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You're really good.

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You guys haven't missed once.

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Oh, don't say that, you'll jinx it.

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I've just been up there. The attic's still a state.

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Come on.

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I've had very positive comments from the neighbours about your

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efforts with the van.

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Good valet.

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The right price. It's hard to find, you know?

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-Really?

-Yeah.

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Does that mean I could wash people's cars and charge them for it?

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MIKE SCOFFS

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I'm in. 50-50?

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Then I'll do the attic.

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I think you'll find that's 20% each.

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No way, it was my idea.

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Equal shares or you can just forget about it.

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You guys are good.

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After you, sunshine.

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What, is this it?

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Yeah. I think everyone else had more important stuff to do.

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Yeah, what's up?

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You'll never guess what I just saw.

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Mike's report on May-Li.

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It was open on his computer.

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But it wasn't that complimentary, you know?

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-That's private!

-What did he say?

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Well, for a kick-off...

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inflexible, controlling, humourless.

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That's so unfair on May-Li.

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No.

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I don't believe he'd say that.

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Not for a second.

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Well...you don't have to believe me.

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It's open on his screen now.

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Alex, that car's next.

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Sure thing, boss.

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A tenner, please.

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Thanks.

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Dex, we're out of water.

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-Can't you do it?

-Remember,

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a leader should always be prepared to get his hands dirty.

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OK.

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Lads...

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..we have issues with the management.

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CLOCK TICKS

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You should see how many cars they've got out there!

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I'm clearly still in your bad books, then.

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-Are you?

-Well, my charm obviously isn't working.

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I can usually make you smile.

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Oh, I'm sorry.

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I seem to have lost my funny bone.

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Oh, come on.

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Give me a clue.

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I can't fix this if you leave me in the dark.

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Look, I need some air.

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May-Li.

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May-Li.

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-What happened?

-Nothing.

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-Are you sure?

-Everything's fine.

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Where's she going?

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She's taking a break.

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Sorry, mate, but there's been a hostile takeover.

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You stole from us.

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-No, I never.

-Empty your pockets, then.

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Show us that you didn't take the tenner.

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It wasn't like that.

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-We can't trust you.

-I did it without thinking.

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Come on, would a bigger cut help?

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You really are a piece of work.

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Lads, got anything to say?

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ALL: Yeah. You're fired.

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-MIKE'S VOICEOVER:

-I mean, why is she so angry at me?

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Her birthday's months away. I did the recycling.

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I don't hog the remote control.

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-ALOUD:

-That's the obvious stuff.

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What else could it be?

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Mike's taking this really badly.

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Maybe she heard you.

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What? She can't have. She was in the office.

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The whole time?

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You're saying I should tell him.

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-Like that's going to happen.

-Yeah, right.

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There's no chance.

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SASHA SIGHS

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Are you keeping count?

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This has got to be a record.

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-How did you get so good?

-My grandad.

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How do we get it in the record books?

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We need a scorer.

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-Brilliant idea.

-What do you think I'm doing?

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3,458.

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Oh, 59.

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I've seen that look before.

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Um, I don't really know what to say.

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Don't tell me this is down to you.

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Mike, I didn't mean to cause trouble.

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-What have you done?

-I saw the report that you did.

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The one on your computer.

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I told Sasha and Jody, and May-Li might have overheard me.

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-What?!

-I know, I'm sorry.

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I'll just tell May-Li that I made it up.

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MIKE SIGHS

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You've done enough.

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WHISPERS: I'm sorry.

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CHATTER OUTSIDE

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-5,621.

-We can't get in the history books, then.

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No. Apparently, you need an independent adjudicator...

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whatever that means.

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And do you really want to be famous for this?

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My grandad would like it.

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What happens if you need to go to the toilet?

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BOTH: Don't say that!

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Mike, is there anything we can do to help?

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I don't think so. What I wrote...

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-We know.

-Maybe she just needs some TLC.

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-Who?

-May-Li.

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Are you guys still fighting?

0:16:450:16:47

What do you mean by TLC?

0:16:470:16:49

-Flowers.

-Chocolate.

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-How about a meal?

-She's not my girlfriend.

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ALL: We know.

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It'll give you a chance to talk.

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You know what,

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when did you guys get so wise?

0:16:580:16:59

A meal it is, then!

0:17:010:17:02

-Yes!

-Sorted!

-Let's get ready.

-Let's go.

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Yeah, this should go there.

0:17:070:17:09

Bread on the table, come on.

0:17:120:17:14

We need some cucumber.

0:17:140:17:16

-Pasta.

-Pasta, brilliant.

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All right, anyone have a bowl?

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-Ta-da!

-Perfect.

-Woo!

0:17:200:17:22

MIKE LAUGHS

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Oh!

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I'm so glad you're back.

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JODY GIGGLES

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I just went to clear my head, that's all.

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We've got a surprise for you.

0:17:430:17:45

-What, a surprise? For me?

-Yeah.

0:17:450:17:47

This is all for you.

0:17:510:17:52

Aw, what's this for?

0:17:520:17:54

Hiya.

0:17:550:17:57

We need to talk.

0:17:570:17:59

You OK, Dex?

0:18:160:18:18

Am I selfish?

0:18:180:18:20

So, I am?

0:18:220:18:23

Is this because of them lot shutting you out?

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Because that'll be over by teatime.

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No, I think I've messed up.

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We all do that.

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Some of us more than others.

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But how do I put things right?

0:18:400:18:42

Well, I can't tell you that,

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but I will say...

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maybe you need to think about

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giving a little bit more.

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So, did the walk do you good?

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Oh, look at that.

0:19:040:19:06

"Always glass half-empty".

0:19:070:19:09

-This is a waste of time.

-Please wait.

0:19:150:19:17

-There's nothing to say.

-There is, May-Li.

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Please, sit down.

0:19:200:19:21

"Inflexible, controlling, humourless."

0:19:230:19:25

Go on. Explain.

0:19:260:19:28

HE SIGHS

0:19:300:19:32

Hey.

0:19:410:19:42

-Need a hand?

-What, and lose all my profits?

0:19:440:19:47

I understand. Listen,

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I'm used to looking out for number one.

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I'm sorry.

0:19:530:19:54

There's two cars waiting.

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I'll be out in a minute.

0:19:590:20:00

Getting those lot to concentrate's harder than I thought.

0:20:040:20:07

Management isn't for everyone.

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But I'm happy to start from the bottom.

0:20:100:20:12

You're on. Those cars won't clean themselves.

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I'll go get the buckets.

0:20:200:20:22

No worries, I'll be outside.

0:20:220:20:23

It was childish venting, that's all.

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It's been deleted.

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You've never done anything like that before?

0:20:340:20:36

No.

0:20:360:20:37

May-Li, I'm, I'm really sorry, but you weren't meant to see that.

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What, and that makes it all right?

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SHE SCOFFS

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At least I know how you feel about me.

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MIKE SIGHS

0:20:470:20:48

This is crazy. It wasn't serious.

0:20:480:20:51

What, so there was no truth in what you wrote?

0:20:510:20:53

LOUD MUSIC

0:20:550:20:57

CHILDREN AND MIKE CHEER

0:20:570:20:58

NOISES STOP ABRUPTLY

0:21:010:21:04

NOISE RECOMMENCES

0:21:040:21:07

NOISE STOPS AGAIN

0:21:070:21:09

NOISE STARTS AGAIN

0:21:090:21:11

Yeah, thought so.

0:21:110:21:13

MIKE SIGHS

0:21:140:21:16

You are so frustrating.

0:21:160:21:18

Oh, another one to add to the list of faults.

0:21:180:21:21

Oh, today gets better and better.

0:21:210:21:24

Oh, this is not good.

0:21:240:21:25

What should we do? Should we go in there?

0:21:270:21:29

Nah, it'll be fine.

0:21:300:21:31

OK.

0:21:310:21:32

Do you know how hard it is,

0:21:360:21:37

working in your shadow?

0:21:370:21:40

You know, Mike, the good guy. Mike, the funny one.

0:21:400:21:42

-It's not like that.

-You're everyone's pal while I'm picking up the pieces.

0:21:420:21:45

I write a few innocent words and this is what I get?

0:21:450:21:47

Innocent? What, so this is my fault?

0:21:470:21:49

No, well, yes...

0:21:490:21:50

I don't know.

0:21:500:21:52

I've gone about this the wrong way.

0:21:530:21:55

It was my job to stop this before it got so broken, but...

0:21:550:21:58

No, I get it. There's two of us here.

0:21:580:22:01

Sometimes I pretend things are all right

0:22:050:22:08

so I don't have to face up to them.

0:22:080:22:09

If I let anyone in, then I risk getting hurt.

0:22:110:22:15

And I can't do that.

0:22:180:22:19

Not any more.

0:22:200:22:22

What?

0:22:220:22:24

Are saying that you want to leave?

0:22:240:22:26

Do you want me to leave?!

0:22:260:22:27

-If that's what you want.

-Fine!

0:22:270:22:29

Fine. Well, that's that, then.

0:22:290:22:31

That's that, then.

0:22:330:22:34

10,364.

0:22:490:22:51

-Are you getting tired?

-Do you need to wee, too?

0:22:510:22:53

I'm so desperate I'd go in after one of the boys.

0:22:530:22:56

Ugh, that's bad. There's nothing worse than a warm toilet seat.

0:22:560:22:59

-What about a wet one?

-Ugh!

0:22:590:23:00

THEY LAUGH

0:23:000:23:02

-Race you inside?

-You're on.

0:23:060:23:08

What about me?!

0:23:120:23:13

10,000...

0:23:160:23:18

You did what?

0:23:220:23:24

-I told the truth, didn't I?

-Yeah, after you lit the fire.

0:23:240:23:28

Well, it was only meant as a laugh.

0:23:280:23:30

You sent us all text messages telling us to come and listen.

0:23:300:23:33

It was cruel!

0:23:330:23:35

-You should have seen us go.

-Yeah!

0:23:350:23:37

Tense in here, or what?

0:23:390:23:40

-What's going on?

-May-Li's leaving.

0:23:420:23:44

-What?

-Mike and May-Li have had a big row and May-Li's had enough,

0:23:450:23:50

so she's going.

0:23:500:23:52

You're leaving?

0:23:520:23:53

How could you think about doing this?

0:23:570:23:58

-Let me explain.

-No.

0:24:000:24:02

I'm having my say.

0:24:030:24:05

I thought this place would be terrible, but it's not.

0:24:070:24:10

You two are the closest thing to a mum and dad some of us might ever get.

0:24:100:24:13

You're definitely better than the ones we had.

0:24:130:24:15

-We don't want you to split up.

-What would we do without you?

0:24:150:24:18

I don't want another mum.

0:24:180:24:19

-Please don't go.

-Yeah, and who's going to give me hugs?

0:24:190:24:21

Please don't go.

0:24:230:24:24

May-Li and I have worked together for a long time.

0:24:300:24:32

I'm sorry this all blew up today.

0:24:340:24:36

-You may have...

-Got the wrong end of the stick.

0:24:380:24:40

-What?

-What?

0:24:400:24:43

I'm not going anywhere.

0:24:430:24:44

But...

0:24:440:24:45

But you said...

0:24:450:24:47

I know what I said.

0:24:470:24:48

SHE SIGHS

0:24:500:24:51

We were angry with each other and things just got a bit out of hand.

0:24:510:24:54

We lost our tempers, went too far.

0:24:550:24:58

Said things we didn't mean, and shouldn't have.

0:25:000:25:03

Ah, particularly with you guys around.

0:25:040:25:07

Aw!

0:25:080:25:10

-We worried you for no reason.

-Yeah.

0:25:100:25:14

-That wasn't fair.

-I don't get it.

0:25:140:25:16

Grown-ups argue.

0:25:160:25:18

That's what they're saying.

0:25:180:25:19

Well, kind of.

0:25:190:25:21

Oh, we all get mad and fall out, but...

0:25:230:25:25

..we'll put it right. We always do.

0:25:270:25:29

Don't we, Mike?

0:25:310:25:32

Always.

0:25:350:25:36

CHILDREN LAUGH

0:25:360:25:39

Um, does that mean we get to have pizza tonight?

0:25:420:25:44

ALL LAUGH AND CHEER

0:25:440:25:46

Yeah, and ice cream!

0:25:460:25:48

-Yay!

-Woo!

0:25:480:25:50

Right, do you want to see that before I send it?

0:25:530:25:56

It's all good.

0:25:560:25:57

Not too good, I hope.

0:25:580:26:00

Got to be some room for improvement.

0:26:000:26:01

Maybe I'll keep the "needs to lighten up" part in.

0:26:010:26:04

Hey!

0:26:040:26:05

-May-Li.

-Mmm?

0:26:070:26:08

We're OK, aren't we?

0:26:090:26:11

Yeah.

0:26:120:26:13

I don't know.

0:26:150:26:16

Maybe we've taken each other for granted a bit.

0:26:160:26:18

KNOCK ON DOOR

0:26:180:26:19

Going to need to change that.

0:26:190:26:21

-THEY WHISPER: Everything OK?

-Yeah, sorted.

0:26:250:26:28

I've decided on a suitable punishment for you, young man.

0:26:300:26:33

One whole month, bathroom duties, no complaints.

0:26:340:26:38

-You won't get any.

-Good.

0:26:380:26:40

Alex needs you in the garden.

0:26:410:26:43

Something about the car wash.

0:26:430:26:44

Oh. I'll be out in a minute.

0:26:440:26:46

MIKE SIGHS

0:26:480:26:49

Alex?

0:27:060:27:07

Anyone?!

0:27:090:27:12

CHARGE!

0:27:120:27:13

CHILDREN SHOUT

0:27:130:27:14

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