Imagination The Roy Files

So, there I was, hard at it, doing my homework, when me ma comes in.

Ah, Roy, that doesn't look like your homework.

But Ma, it's history homework for Hammo.

Ah, history.

Gossip's fancy cousin.

Your assignment is to write the life story of a historical figure

of your choice.

-BOTH:

-I want every fact, every figure and every single detail.

I don't know where to start.

What do I know about the woman who built France?

Or the man who invented hiccups?

Why not try writing about the person you know best?

-Who's that?

-You. We're all a part of history.

Ma was right.

But did I really want everybody knowing everything about me?

There's some things I wish even I didn't know.

Me da was very persuasive though.

You know what he's like when he gets fired up about something.

Will whatever you're saying mean I have to stop reading this paper?

No.

-Do that then.

-So, I'm writing it all down.

The life and thoughts of Roy O'Brien.

Because these are The Roy Files.

Roy!

Imaginations are just the best thing ever.

There's nothing you can't do with one.

Like, say you want to be a jet pilot or a rock star some day, why wait?

Your imagination can make it happen right now.

GUITAR PLAYS

Or you can start off small.

I'd love to have a tan some day.

Maybe you've always wanted to see yourself with a healthy glow.

You just need to imagine it.

Nice tan, Roy.

But you have to be careful.

Imaginations can be dangerous, too.

What if the reason my parents are fighting is because

my ma fell in love with someone else?

How are your parents doing, Roy?

You think your mum and Hammond are...?

Roy.

How's your mother?

I'm going to buy her some flowers and I was just wondering

if you knew what her favourites were?

Just imagine, Hammond as your da.

Sir.

'Brutal.'

Yes, son.

Can I go to the toilet, sir?

"May I go to the toilet, Dad?"

May I go to the toilet, Dad?

-THEY LAUGH

-Daddy's boy!

-Daddy's Boy!

Ah! Make it stop.

Ah! Get out of my head.

On second thoughts, maybe I should give my imagination a rest.

Now, now, Roy. We don't want that kind of talk.

No. Developing your imagination,

well, that's an important part of growing up.

And that is why creative play...

it's at the core of what we do at Sandyford Progressive Learning.

Oh, if there's one thing I know about, it's creative play.

1,000,004 and counting.

That's the highest score ever, ever.

GAME MUSIC STOPS It's finished.

It says, "We Aliens have given up

"and we'll never invade again.

"Sorry for bothering you!"

Oh, no. No.

Roy, that's not exactly what I meant.

I mean, I don't think sitting in front of a screen for hours on end

is developing one's mind.

Let's do this. Oh, yes!

Are you coming, Roy?

Earth to Roy.

Come in, Roy.

No, I'm grand.

That'll be why Hammo...

Mr Hammond is so against computer games, miss.

Always confiscating them.

Exactly.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

That's not fair.

I'm... I'm so sorry, sir.

Pick up those papers.

Give it to me.

Roy.

O'Brien!

I was just waiting for it to save.

Yeah, he says that we shouldn't be playing them

because it's a school not a circus,

despite certain unnamed individuals running it like one.

I think he meant you, miss.

Oh, no.

Oh, no, Roy.

Mr Hammond would never, ever say something like that.

That is your imagination and it's getting the better of you.

Not this time, miss. See for yourself.

This is a school, not a circus.

Despite certain unnamed individuals running it like one.

Now, get back to class and don't let me catch you

with this infernal game thingamajig again.

So, that's what he thinks of my teaching methods, is it?

A welcome change that you agree with me for once, Miss Jervis.

The constant blipping

and zapping of those cursed video games is a mind-rotting menace.

Actually, Mr Hammond, I'm starting to think that they may be

a good way for children to release the frustration in a safe

and imaginative environment.

In fact, I could use a good subatomic blaster myself right now.

What's that supposed to mean?

Awkward.

Wow, can't you two ever agree on anything?

-Of course we can't.

-Of course we can.

Don't be ridiculous.

We don't always disagree.

Yes, we do. And I'm not being ridiculous.

-Yes, you are.

-No, I'm not.

-Yes, you are.

-No, I'm not.

-Yes, you are.

-No.

-Yes, you are.

-Yes, you are. Yes, you are.

-No, no, no, no, no.

I can't believe I let those two share a thought bubble.

What was I thinking?

I hate to say it, but Jervis and Hammo are both right.

Computer games can be a good way to let your imagination go.

But sometimes you can let it go too far.

At last, the Sword Of Destiny is mine.

With this Shield Of Morgot, I am invincible.

I think you have a bit of a fever there, love.

I'm going to get you some medicine.

Away, vile sorceress.

I'll have none of your potions.

Roy O'Brien...

Oh, you little...

You mistake me for someone else, troll.

I am Roy of Helmsford, slayer of dragons.

Classic, he actually thinks he's in Dragon's Breath.

-What?

-What?

It's an online game Roy's been playing all week with his guild.

Guild?

It's like a gang of nerdy losers who play games together.

All of Roy's mates, basically.

Right, Roy. Come on.

Snap out of it.

-Snap out of what, chubby troll?

-Oh, you...

Well, at least he recognises you, Da.

The witch speaks.

Well, he knows you too, doesn't he?

Typical. Only a total sap like you

could get so caught up in a lame video game

that you end up trying to kill the washing machine.

Prepare to die, vile beast.

I can't believe I did that.

I don't remember a thing.

I hope I didn't do anything else embarrassing.

-Not really.

-Phew.

Although, you did go and profess your love to Princess Tara.

How did your poem go again?

There was a poem?

Hang on, I think I remember it.

Oh, darling Princess Tara with your face so fair,

could you ever love a knight with drawn-on hair?

If the answer is no the heartache's too big,

so just say yes and I'll buy a nice wig.

Oh, I'm only kidding.

What?

You were right, Roy.

Imaginations can be fun.

I'm not going to forget this, Becky.

Seriously though, you did fill Dad's car with grass.

Yeah, right.

No, you really did.

Although, it was his own fault.

Well, I'm...

I'm having a bit of bother with those, erm...

blood-sucking elves out in the garden.

Blood-sucking elves?

Yeah. Yeah, they're hiding in the grass.

Vicious little things they are.

I was just thinking, maybe you could go out there with your sword

and cut the grass and then they'd have nowhere to hide.

A brilliant plan!

You're not as stupid as you look, troll.

Roy the dragon slayer.

I've laid waste to your field.

Not a single blood-sucking elf in sight.

Good lad.

Oh, and I fed your ugly steed.

My what?

OK, moving along.

Right, so imaginations can sometimes get you into trouble.

But they can get you out of trouble, too.

Like when they help you to come up with clever ways to solve problems.

I'd do anything to get my old face back, lads.

And all the smiling - it's starting to hurt.

A lot.

I have an idea, lads.

If the wind did change his face, maybe it can change it back.

Hold on!

I love the way my mates have fantastic imaginations.

I think he wants us to stop.

Friends with good imaginations are one thing,

but did you ever have a friend who was all imagination?

I did.

Bigudy-beh-beh. Dug-uh dug-uh.

Bl-lbl-bl-bl-bl.

Oh, I think it's a monster!

Deh-digguh-de-bl-l-bl.

It's attacking O'Brien!

Quick, someone, get a hammer.

No, no, wait! wait!

I think it's trying to help him.

-Buddy?

-Deh-digguh-de-bl-l-bl.

Buddy!

Roy, do you know this creature?

Yes, miss. He's my imaginary friend.

And surprise, surprise.

Buddy showing up had Jervis

and Hammo at each other's throats again.

So, you're enrolling a figment of O'Brien's imagination?

A squiggle he drew on a piece of paper when he was four years of age?

Yep.

And who will we be admitting next?

Wonder Woman? Spider-Man?

Derek, breathe.

And what about the warning from Mr and Mrs O'Brien?

Are you going to ignore their sage advice?

No, I am well aware of the challenges ahead.

Buddy is a unique individual.

Integrating him into life into Sandyford Progressive won't be easy.

But just think of the rewards when we succeed.

It was like Buddy escaped from my imagination

to set everyone else free.

BUDDY BOINGS

Of course, others tried to get in on the act.

Can I help you with something?

No, thanks.

Me and Nigel just fancied a cup of tea.

Who?

Nigel.

My imaginary friend.

Say, "Hello", Nigel.

Nigel says, "Hello."

Hello, Nigel.

It's a shame that Deco's imaginary friend

was the invisible kind.

I'm sure Nigel and Buddy would have got on.

The whole school loved Buddy.

He brought out everyone's fun side.

Buddy!

Fire!

Take that, Mr Hammond.

So much for the benefits of letting the imagination run free.

That went well.

Not!

Your insults could certainly use a little more imagination.

Stop!

Buddy O'Brien, get out of my school,

you are expelled!

Hm... Shouting at students.

Expelling pupils.

Not quite in keeping with your progressive methods, is it?

Oh, I'm sorry, were you finished?

I was waiting for the snort.

What's that supposed to mean?

HE SNORTS

Well, there's no need to get personal.

Oh, and saying that I run the school like a circus isn't personal?

What? I never said that.

What are they like?

Don't even try and deny it, Mr Hammond.

Roy has the whole thing on film. He showed me.

Uh-oh.

I should have known that calamitous cartoon was behind this.

OK, thanks for your help.

Bye now.

ROY!

Plenty to think about when it comes to imagination then.

But keep to these simple rules and you'll be fine.

There's nothing wrong with having imaginary friends.

OK, so they're not real,

but on the plus side they don't eat your crisps.

And remember, you might not feel like it sometimes,

but everyone's got an imagination.

And the best part is, it's free.

I guess that's why everybody's got one.

And finally, make the most of your imagination.

Because unlike your favourite pair of underpants,

the more you use it, the better it gets.

There you go.

Scrapbook sorted.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

me thumbs have to save the Earth from an army of alien avocados.

Imagine that!

See yous.