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"Dear Mum. Thanks for your last letter and I really like the stamp. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:05 | |
"This week's Freedom Show was the most exciting yet. Stupendous acts. | 0:00:05 | 0:00:10 | |
"And stupid acts. | 0:00:13 | 0:00:16 | |
"And an act that went with a bang. | 0:00:16 | 0:00:18 | |
"It all started when a new inmate checked into The Slammer." | 0:00:18 | 0:00:22 | |
# You've been found guilty of a howling showbiz crime | 0:00:25 | 0:00:30 | |
# So welcome to The Slammer | 0:00:30 | 0:00:32 | |
# Where you're going to serve your time | 0:00:32 | 0:00:34 | |
# With every type of minstrel, entertainer and artiste | 0:00:34 | 0:00:38 | |
# Performing to the limit to try and get released | 0:00:38 | 0:00:43 | |
# So go fetch the audience, bring them to The Slammer | 0:00:43 | 0:00:47 | |
# And polish up your act with a bit of glitz and glamour | 0:00:47 | 0:00:52 | |
# Your fate is in their hands | 0:00:52 | 0:00:54 | |
# So make them cheer and clamour | 0:00:54 | 0:00:56 | |
# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer | 0:00:56 | 0:01:00 | |
# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer | 0:01:00 | 0:01:04 | |
No, sir, I don't know how the prisoner escaped. | 0:01:09 | 0:01:13 | |
Yes, sir, I know it means we've lost an act for today's Freedom Show. | 0:01:13 | 0:01:17 | |
DISTANT VOICE SHOUTS | 0:01:17 | 0:01:19 | |
Yes, but we've still got Planet Jumprope. | 0:01:19 | 0:01:22 | |
And Woody the one-man band. | 0:01:23 | 0:01:25 | |
And Vampire Ascendants. | 0:01:26 | 0:01:27 | |
Plus, I've got my very best warden on the case, sir. Yes, and you, sir. | 0:01:29 | 0:01:33 | |
-Any luck, Gimbert? -Actually, yes, Uncle. | 0:01:35 | 0:01:38 | |
I've found a fiver! | 0:01:38 | 0:01:40 | |
New inmate to sign in. This is Britney Spaniel, sir. | 0:01:40 | 0:01:45 | |
World-famous dog trainer. And that must be Dynamo, the poodle of peril. | 0:01:45 | 0:01:51 | |
The things you've taught that dog are astonishing. | 0:01:51 | 0:01:53 | |
-How can it speak seven languages? -How does it stay on that motorbike? | 0:01:53 | 0:01:57 | |
-I always like it when it plays the tuba. -Very nice to meet you. | 0:01:57 | 0:02:01 | |
-WHISTLE -Sit! | 0:02:01 | 0:02:03 | |
Good boy. Now, come on, beg. | 0:02:03 | 0:02:06 | |
Beg! | 0:02:07 | 0:02:09 | |
Good boy! Who's a clever boy? That's better. | 0:02:09 | 0:02:14 | |
-Actually, Mrs Spaniel, I'll need to take all your belongings. -Bad boy! | 0:02:14 | 0:02:18 | |
No treat for you. | 0:02:18 | 0:02:20 | |
Now, I hear there's a spare place in today's Freedom Show. | 0:02:23 | 0:02:27 | |
Ah, yes, well, there is an official protocol for that. | 0:02:27 | 0:02:31 | |
-WHISTLE -Play dead. | 0:02:31 | 0:02:33 | |
Good boy. So, it's settled then, Governor? | 0:02:33 | 0:02:37 | |
I'll take the last place in the Freedom Show? | 0:02:37 | 0:02:40 | |
Yes, boy? Yes? | 0:02:40 | 0:02:43 | |
-Yes? -Yes! Yes! -Good boy! | 0:02:43 | 0:02:47 | |
-Er, Miss Spaniel. -What, Peter? | 0:02:49 | 0:02:52 | |
I am trying to get ready for the show! | 0:02:52 | 0:02:54 | |
Well, I was wondering... We were wondering, can I get my bunk back? | 0:02:54 | 0:02:59 | |
-SHE GASPS -You don't expect Dynamo to... | 0:02:59 | 0:03:03 | |
..sleep on the floor? He is a professional poodle of peril! | 0:03:03 | 0:03:09 | |
Yeah, well, it's not fair. He's got my bunk, he's got my clothes, | 0:03:11 | 0:03:14 | |
-he's got my mobile phone. -Yes. -PHONE RINGS | 0:03:14 | 0:03:17 | |
Oh, poor Dynamo. All that sleeping. You must be hungry. | 0:03:17 | 0:03:22 | |
Munchies time! Munchies! | 0:03:22 | 0:03:25 | |
Hey, that's my lunch! | 0:03:25 | 0:03:27 | |
-Are you about to go on stage to perform? -No, thanks to you. | 0:03:27 | 0:03:31 | |
Dynamo needs his strength. | 0:03:31 | 0:03:33 | |
He's going to be performing his greatest stunt yet! | 0:03:33 | 0:03:37 | |
-The doggy cannonball. -Yeah, well, never mind about all that. | 0:03:37 | 0:03:42 | |
-What am I supposed to eat? -Minced liver and bone meal? | 0:03:42 | 0:03:46 | |
It will give you strong teeth and vitality. Open wide. | 0:03:46 | 0:03:50 | |
-Ohh! -There you go. One more. Good boy. | 0:03:50 | 0:03:54 | |
She's rude, she's bossy and she made me eat dog food. | 0:03:54 | 0:03:58 | |
-Oh, that's awful. -You're right. 85 percent offal. | 0:03:58 | 0:04:01 | |
BOTH: I thank you! | 0:04:01 | 0:04:03 | |
She's virtually taken over The Slammer, sir. | 0:04:03 | 0:04:05 | |
There's dog hairs in the shower, most of F wing is out on morning walkies | 0:04:05 | 0:04:09 | |
and in the canteen, they eat out of bowls on the floor. | 0:04:09 | 0:04:11 | |
On the up side, she has managed to train Gimbert. | 0:04:11 | 0:04:15 | |
Sorry, can't stop. She wants me to fetch her slippers | 0:04:15 | 0:04:18 | |
and she'll punish me if I'm late. | 0:04:18 | 0:04:20 | |
This is too much. | 0:04:20 | 0:04:22 | |
We can't let Britney Spaniel appear on the Freedom Show. | 0:04:22 | 0:04:25 | |
She'll have half the audience sniffing their own bottoms! | 0:04:25 | 0:04:28 | |
We've got to find a way to stop her walking all over us. | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
Walking I said, not walkies. Out. | 0:04:32 | 0:04:35 | |
Not in here! Go! Out, out, out! | 0:04:35 | 0:04:37 | |
The audience are coming in. You sure this plan will work, Peter? | 0:04:39 | 0:04:43 | |
-I think so. -If we can get rid of Spaniel, | 0:04:43 | 0:04:45 | |
Jonathan and Emma have agreed to be the final act in the Freedom Show. | 0:04:45 | 0:04:49 | |
-BOTH: Hello! -Let's just hope that you and Gimbert can pull it off. | 0:04:49 | 0:04:54 | |
-Now, how do I look? -Grrreat! -Thank you very much. | 0:04:54 | 0:04:58 | |
In that case, it's show time! | 0:04:58 | 0:05:01 | |
THEY HOWL | 0:05:01 | 0:05:03 | |
'Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to HMP Slammer, | 0:05:03 | 0:05:07 | |
'where you decide which prisoner is to be released! | 0:05:07 | 0:05:10 | |
'Now please welcome your host, he's the top dog round here, | 0:05:10 | 0:05:14 | |
so bark and cheer for the Governor! | 0:05:14 | 0:05:19 | |
HOWLING | 0:05:19 | 0:05:21 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:05:21 | 0:05:24 | |
-Who's the Governor? -ALL: You are the Governor! | 0:05:35 | 0:05:38 | |
Oh, yeah! What great jailors and jailbirds we've got | 0:05:38 | 0:05:41 | |
and what a great Freedom Show we've got for you. | 0:05:41 | 0:05:43 | |
Yes, we've got some marvellous acts. We've got Planet Jumprope! | 0:05:43 | 0:05:47 | |
-ALL: Whooo! -We've got Woody the one-man band. | 0:05:47 | 0:05:50 | |
-ALL: Whooo! -A fantastic act called Dynamo the doggy cannonball. | 0:05:50 | 0:05:54 | |
ALL: Whooo! | 0:05:54 | 0:05:56 | |
Onto our first performing prisoner act. | 0:05:56 | 0:05:58 | |
It's Vampire Ascendants! | 0:05:58 | 0:06:01 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:06:01 | 0:06:04 | |
MUSIC: "Resistance" by Muse | 0:06:07 | 0:06:11 | |
# If we live our life in fear | 0:06:12 | 0:06:16 | |
# I'll wait a thousand years | 0:06:16 | 0:06:20 | |
# Just to see you smile again | 0:06:20 | 0:06:26 | |
# Kill the prayers for love and peace | 0:06:26 | 0:06:30 | |
# You'll wake the thought police | 0:06:30 | 0:06:34 | |
# We can hide the truth inside | 0:06:34 | 0:06:39 | |
-# It could be wrong, could be wrong -# But it shouldn't be right | 0:06:39 | 0:06:42 | |
-# It could be wrong, could be wrong -# To let our hearts ignite | 0:06:42 | 0:06:46 | |
-# It could be wrong, could be wrong -# Are we digging a hole? | 0:06:46 | 0:06:49 | |
-# It could be wrong, could be wrong -# This is out of control | 0:06:49 | 0:06:53 | |
-# It could be wrong, could be wrong -# It can never last | 0:06:53 | 0:06:57 | |
-# It could be wrong, could be wrong -# Must erase it fast | 0:06:57 | 0:07:00 | |
-# It could be wrong, could be wrong -# But it could've been right | 0:07:00 | 0:07:04 | |
-# It could be wrong, could be -# Love is our... | 0:07:04 | 0:07:07 | |
# Hold me | 0:07:07 | 0:07:10 | |
# Our lips must always be sealed | 0:07:10 | 0:07:17 | |
# The night has reached its end | 0:07:18 | 0:07:24 | |
# We can't pretend | 0:07:24 | 0:07:27 | |
# We must run | 0:07:27 | 0:07:31 | |
# Take us away from here | 0:07:31 | 0:07:35 | |
# Protect us from further harm | 0:07:35 | 0:07:40 | |
# Resistance | 0:07:40 | 0:07:46 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:07:54 | 0:07:59 | |
Come down! Come down, naughty. | 0:08:01 | 0:08:04 | |
Naughty vampires! I don't like it when they do that. | 0:08:04 | 0:08:07 | |
Trying to escape. They can't until you let them go in the Freedom Show. | 0:08:07 | 0:08:11 | |
Well, Vampire Ascendants. | 0:08:11 | 0:08:13 | |
-Miss? -I think it was really scary but exciting. | 0:08:13 | 0:08:17 | |
Cos when they vampire jumped off of there, | 0:08:17 | 0:08:20 | |
I thought my heart was going to explode cos it looks really scary. | 0:08:20 | 0:08:25 | |
-Did you like the Vampire Ascendants? -Yes. -What did you think? | 0:08:25 | 0:08:28 | |
It was amazing. I liked all the acrobats. It was like Twilight. | 0:08:28 | 0:08:33 | |
-Twilight? What's that? -It's a movie. | 0:08:33 | 0:08:35 | |
And for one final word, sir, sum that act up for me. | 0:08:35 | 0:08:38 | |
-Fliptastic. -Fliptastic. | 0:08:38 | 0:08:41 | |
Right, final rehearsal, Dynamo. | 0:08:41 | 0:08:46 | |
The world's first doggy cannonball! | 0:08:46 | 0:08:48 | |
Just a teeny amount of gunpowder. | 0:08:48 | 0:08:52 | |
DOG WHINES | 0:08:52 | 0:08:54 | |
-Er, Miss Spaniel. -What is it, Peter?! | 0:08:56 | 0:08:58 | |
-Do you need de-worming? -No, Officer Gimbert needs to see you urgently. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:03 | |
What does he want? He should be asleep in his basket! | 0:09:03 | 0:09:07 | |
Whoa! I'll show you, Spaniel spanner! | 0:09:10 | 0:09:15 | |
Making me eat dog food and Gimbert act like a weirdo! | 0:09:15 | 0:09:19 | |
Yeah! Come on, little Dynamo, you're going to be a blast! | 0:09:19 | 0:09:22 | |
Oh! You are cheeky, Mr...Cheeky. | 0:09:22 | 0:09:26 | |
Please give a big hand to Planet Jumprope! | 0:09:26 | 0:09:30 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:09:30 | 0:09:33 | |
DANCE MUSIC | 0:09:39 | 0:09:41 | |
ALL: Whooo! | 0:09:58 | 0:10:00 | |
# Television | 0:10:08 | 0:10:11 | |
DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES | 0:10:11 | 0:10:14 | |
AUDIENCE CLAP | 0:10:17 | 0:10:20 | |
AUDIENCE WHOOP | 0:10:39 | 0:10:42 | |
AUDIENCE CHEER | 0:11:03 | 0:11:06 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:11:16 | 0:11:19 | |
Give them a big cheer there! Marvellous! Well, Planet Jumprope. | 0:11:22 | 0:11:26 | |
Will they be jumping out of The Slammer? Let's find out. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:29 | |
Right then, sir. Skip To My Lou or pile of poo? | 0:11:29 | 0:11:33 | |
It was very cool and I loved the costumes and crazy music. | 0:11:33 | 0:11:36 | |
-How crazy was the music? -Very crazy. -Crazy enough for you? -Just about. | 0:11:36 | 0:11:40 | |
-You don't want it too much more crazy than that. -Too crazy. | 0:11:40 | 0:11:43 | |
-It would be too crazy or it is too crazy? -Would be. | 0:11:43 | 0:11:46 | |
-It would be too crazy, wouldn't it? -Young man, tell us all about it. | 0:11:46 | 0:11:49 | |
When I heard the name, I thought it was going to be not that good, | 0:11:49 | 0:11:54 | |
but they've proved that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, | 0:11:54 | 0:11:58 | |
-cos it was excellent. -You think they're going free? -Yeah. -Good man. | 0:11:58 | 0:12:02 | |
Are you related to Ray Winstone at all? | 0:12:02 | 0:12:04 | |
-Definitely. -Yeah, I thought you were. | 0:12:04 | 0:12:06 | |
-Sum that act up, sir, in one word. -Erm, weird. | 0:12:06 | 0:12:12 | |
-Weird, sir. -There they are, Planet Jumprope. Three, six, nine... | 0:12:12 | 0:12:16 | |
There you are. I'm extremely busy getting ready for the Freedom Show. | 0:12:17 | 0:12:22 | |
-What is it? -The Freedom Show? It's a big performance the Governor puts on | 0:12:22 | 0:12:26 | |
-with loads of acts and... -No! I mean what did you want to see me about? | 0:12:26 | 0:12:31 | |
Oh, yes. I mean, no. Yes. No. | 0:12:31 | 0:12:34 | |
Yes. No. | 0:12:34 | 0:12:36 | |
-No idea, sorry. -SHE SIGHS | 0:12:36 | 0:12:39 | |
Right now, it's time for Solitary Confinement! | 0:12:47 | 0:12:50 | |
Oh, yes! One performing prisoner, maybe more, | 0:12:52 | 0:12:54 | |
whose crimes against showbiz were so bad we have to keep them away from | 0:12:54 | 0:12:58 | |
all the other prisoners in The Slammer. If they do well, | 0:12:58 | 0:13:01 | |
we give them a treat. Today, if they do well, | 0:13:01 | 0:13:04 | |
we're going to give them a trip to the shop. | 0:13:04 | 0:13:06 | |
If they don't do well, it's back to their cell for a cruel punishment! | 0:13:06 | 0:13:10 | |
-Mr Burgess! -Sir? -What is today's cruel and unusual punishment? | 0:13:10 | 0:13:14 | |
Today, sir, it's being pumped full of popcorn | 0:13:14 | 0:13:17 | |
while plugging in a hairdryer, sir. | 0:13:17 | 0:13:19 | |
All right, that is cruel and unusual, so we need a judge. | 0:13:19 | 0:13:23 | |
-Who could be the judge? Mr Burgess. -What about you, sir? | 0:13:23 | 0:13:26 | |
-Up you go. -Give him a round of applause! | 0:13:26 | 0:13:29 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:13:29 | 0:13:32 | |
-What's your name? -Miles. -All right then, Miles, it's up to you | 0:13:32 | 0:13:35 | |
as we go for today's Solitary Confinement! | 0:13:35 | 0:13:40 | |
Come on, Miles. | 0:13:40 | 0:13:42 | |
# Somewhere over the rainbow | 0:13:54 | 0:13:59 | |
HE HUMS AS IF HE'S FORGOTTEN LYRICS | 0:14:06 | 0:14:09 | |
# Some... | 0:14:15 | 0:14:17 | |
# Don't stop me now, I'm having such a good time | 0:14:19 | 0:14:24 | |
# Having... | 0:14:24 | 0:14:26 | |
# Stop me now | 0:14:26 | 0:14:28 | |
# Hmm... ball | 0:14:28 | 0:14:31 | |
# Don't stop me now | 0:14:31 | 0:14:34 | |
# Don't stop me... now | 0:14:34 | 0:14:38 | |
# Ohh | 0:14:38 | 0:14:41 | |
# Racing car | 0:14:43 | 0:14:45 | |
# Flying | 0:14:45 | 0:14:47 | |
HE HUMS | 0:14:47 | 0:14:49 | |
# Lady Godiva | 0:14:52 | 0:14:56 | |
# Oh, oh, oh | 0:14:56 | 0:14:58 | |
# Explode | 0:14:58 | 0:15:00 | |
# Hm, tonight | 0:15:00 | 0:15:02 | |
HE HUMS | 0:15:02 | 0:15:07 | |
# Supersonic man out of you | 0:15:10 | 0:15:14 | |
There we are. Thank you, Simon. | 0:15:14 | 0:15:17 | |
Give him a round of something. | 0:15:17 | 0:15:20 | |
Now's the moment of decision. You are deciding. | 0:15:22 | 0:15:24 | |
All in your thumb is what's going to happen to that man. Thumbs up, | 0:15:24 | 0:15:28 | |
he's off to the shop. Thumbs down and it's pop-pop-pop-pop-pop. | 0:15:28 | 0:15:33 | |
What about that thumb? The thumb of destiny, sideways. | 0:15:33 | 0:15:37 | |
Five seconds, up or down? What's it to be? | 0:15:37 | 0:15:39 | |
It's up, it's up, down! Oh! | 0:15:39 | 0:15:42 | |
Back to the cell with you, Medley. | 0:15:42 | 0:15:45 | |
Give him a round of something and a big hand for Miles. | 0:15:45 | 0:15:48 | |
-Good lad! Yeah! Off you go! -CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:15:48 | 0:15:51 | |
There he goes. Wait a minute. There it is. | 0:15:51 | 0:15:56 | |
Ooooh. WHIRRING AND POPPING | 0:15:56 | 0:15:59 | |
-EXPLOSION -Ooh, dear, nasty. | 0:16:01 | 0:16:04 | |
On now to our next performing prisoner. Well, he's marvellous. | 0:16:04 | 0:16:07 | |
He encapsulates lots of different sounds into just one arena. | 0:16:07 | 0:16:11 | |
It's Woody and his one-man band! | 0:16:11 | 0:16:15 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:16:15 | 0:16:18 | |
# She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes | 0:16:22 | 0:16:26 | |
# She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes, yee-hah | 0:16:27 | 0:16:32 | |
# Singing aye-aye-yippee-yippee-aye | 0:16:32 | 0:16:37 | |
# Singing aye-aye-yippee-yippee-aye | 0:16:37 | 0:16:40 | |
# Singing aye-aye-yippee, aye-aye-yippee | 0:16:42 | 0:16:47 | |
# Aye-aye-yippee-yippee-aye | 0:16:47 | 0:16:51 | |
HE PLAYS HARMONICA | 0:16:51 | 0:16:55 | |
HE BLOWS HORNS | 0:16:55 | 0:16:56 | |
HE BLOWS COMEDY WHISTLE | 0:17:00 | 0:17:02 | |
TEMPO CHANGES | 0:17:06 | 0:17:08 | |
# You've been found guilty of a howling showbiz crime | 0:17:08 | 0:17:13 | |
# So welcome to The Slammer | 0:17:13 | 0:17:15 | |
# Where you're going to spend your time | 0:17:15 | 0:17:18 | |
# With every kind of minstrel, entertainer and artiste | 0:17:18 | 0:17:23 | |
# Performing to the limit so they will be released | 0:17:23 | 0:17:28 | |
# So bring on the audience and welcome to The Slammer | 0:17:28 | 0:17:34 | |
# And polish up your act with a bit of glitz and glamour | 0:17:34 | 0:17:39 | |
# Your fate is in their hands so make them cheer and clamour | 0:17:39 | 0:17:44 | |
# It's the only way you're going to leave The Slammer | 0:17:44 | 0:17:49 | |
HE PLAYS KAZOO Thank you very much! | 0:17:50 | 0:17:53 | |
There we are! Go on, then. Whoa! | 0:17:53 | 0:17:57 | |
Off he goes. Off he goes. Woody. Ohh! | 0:17:57 | 0:18:01 | |
Let's find out what you thought of that unusual act. | 0:18:01 | 0:18:04 | |
Well, Woody the one-man band there. But was he Woody or was he wooden? | 0:18:04 | 0:18:08 | |
-I thought he was marvellous. -Why? | 0:18:08 | 0:18:10 | |
I just like the idea of a one-man band. | 0:18:10 | 0:18:13 | |
-Did you like the songs? -A bit, yeah. | 0:18:13 | 0:18:16 | |
-Was there a favourite one there? -Erm, Coming Round The Mountain. | 0:18:16 | 0:18:21 | |
Did you like Woody and what was the best bit? | 0:18:21 | 0:18:23 | |
-I did like it. -Yes. -And I like it when that thing came off his hat. | 0:18:23 | 0:18:31 | |
-LAUGHTER -Ooh, it looks like Gimbert. | 0:18:33 | 0:18:37 | |
-What about you, Miss? -I really enjoyed it. | 0:18:37 | 0:18:40 | |
I wanted to get up and start dancing and singing with him. | 0:18:40 | 0:18:43 | |
-Would you like to do it now? -Yes. | 0:18:43 | 0:18:45 | |
Can we have a bit of music, Mr Woody? Thank you. | 0:18:47 | 0:18:50 | |
-Do you want to sing? -Oh, yeah! -Take my mic. | 0:18:51 | 0:18:54 | |
# Have some fun, don't sit down | 0:18:54 | 0:18:57 | |
# Always get up and dance | 0:18:57 | 0:18:59 | |
# If you can't think of anything just do what you want | 0:18:59 | 0:19:02 | |
# Because this is time to enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself | 0:19:02 | 0:19:07 | |
# Don't sit down | 0:19:07 | 0:19:09 | |
# And enjoy yourself a bit more | 0:19:09 | 0:19:12 | |
# Now I'm on stage | 0:19:12 | 0:19:15 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hold on. Hold on a minute. | 0:19:15 | 0:19:18 | |
Just a minute. | 0:19:18 | 0:19:21 | |
That's got to be a crime against entertainment. Solitary confinement! | 0:19:21 | 0:19:26 | |
LAUGHTER Let's get you in here. Wait there. | 0:19:26 | 0:19:29 | |
This is getting to be a habit. | 0:19:29 | 0:19:31 | |
-Mr Burgess? -Sir? -Have you booked her for next week's show? | 0:19:32 | 0:19:35 | |
-Absolutely, sir. -Very good. Give her a round of applause. | 0:19:35 | 0:19:38 | |
-We'll keep her in there till next week. Well done. -Thank you, sir. | 0:19:38 | 0:19:42 | |
-All under control, sir. -Thank you. -Right! And, miss, a final word. | 0:19:42 | 0:19:47 | |
-Fantastic. -Fantastic, sir. | 0:19:47 | 0:19:49 | |
Hello, Mrs Doggy Lady! Hiya, Britney. | 0:19:49 | 0:19:52 | |
It's Miss Spaniel to you. And you. | 0:19:52 | 0:19:57 | |
Why are they here? I thought I was the last act in the Freedom Show. | 0:19:57 | 0:20:01 | |
Er, yes, you are. They're just, er, watching. | 0:20:01 | 0:20:05 | |
Fine, they can watch my final rehearsal. | 0:20:05 | 0:20:08 | |
Dynamo, ready? Good boy! | 0:20:08 | 0:20:11 | |
-DOG WHINES -Come on. In you go. | 0:20:11 | 0:20:15 | |
Well, performing felon fans, one more performing act to see. | 0:20:19 | 0:20:23 | |
Oh, don't be so pathetic! | 0:20:23 | 0:20:28 | |
It's only a tiny little... | 0:20:28 | 0:20:30 | |
-Dynamo! -PETER LAUGHS | 0:20:33 | 0:20:35 | |
She always said his career would be stratospheric. You're on. Go, go! | 0:20:35 | 0:20:40 | |
It's a change of programme here at the Freedom Show. | 0:20:40 | 0:20:43 | |
Unfortunately, not Dynamo the doggy cannonball, | 0:20:43 | 0:20:46 | |
but at the last moment, a spectacular illusionist. | 0:20:46 | 0:20:50 | |
Jailors and jailbirds, please show your appreciation | 0:20:50 | 0:20:53 | |
for Jonathan Shotton! Yes! | 0:20:53 | 0:20:56 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:20:56 | 0:20:59 | |
Hey, guys! Now, for as long as I can remember, | 0:21:04 | 0:21:07 | |
I've always wanted to fly and float in the air. I know I'm not alone, | 0:21:07 | 0:21:11 | |
so I'll give somebody the chance. Who would like to float in the air? | 0:21:11 | 0:21:16 | |
Yes, you'd be fantastic! Would you join me on the stage? | 0:21:16 | 0:21:20 | |
-All of this applause is for you. -CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:21:20 | 0:21:23 | |
-What's your name? -Rafaela. | 0:21:23 | 0:21:25 | |
Now, there's three things you need in order to float. | 0:21:25 | 0:21:28 | |
The first is a flying carpet. | 0:21:28 | 0:21:31 | |
And I've got one of those for you. Hold onto that safely. | 0:21:31 | 0:21:33 | |
There's two other things you need. The first are some stepladders. | 0:21:33 | 0:21:37 | |
I've got two of those here. And finally, a plank of wood. | 0:21:37 | 0:21:41 | |
If we pick that up and that will sit on top of the two stepladders | 0:21:41 | 0:21:45 | |
just like so. Now, this is perfectly safe. | 0:21:45 | 0:21:49 | |
It'll take my weight, so it'll certainly take yours, Rafaela. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:53 | |
If I take that flying carpet back, we'll spread out the carpet | 0:21:53 | 0:21:58 | |
over the plank of wood, just like so. | 0:21:58 | 0:22:01 | |
And in a moment, I'm going to ask you if you wouldn't mind sitting | 0:22:01 | 0:22:05 | |
on top of the carpet. Do you think you could give that a go? | 0:22:05 | 0:22:08 | |
Sit right in the middle for me. Let's see if we can make this work. | 0:22:08 | 0:22:11 | |
This is real magic. | 0:22:11 | 0:22:14 | |
Lie yourself back for me, just like so. That's wonderful! | 0:22:14 | 0:22:19 | |
A little bit further back if you wouldn't mind? Wonderful. | 0:22:19 | 0:22:23 | |
And you can cross your arms across your tummy for me. | 0:22:23 | 0:22:26 | |
And your feet, as well. | 0:22:26 | 0:22:29 | |
This is, like I said, real magic. Are you ready, boys and girls? | 0:22:29 | 0:22:34 | |
ALL: Yes! | 0:22:34 | 0:22:35 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:22:41 | 0:22:44 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:22:56 | 0:22:58 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:23:12 | 0:23:16 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, Rafaela! That's it! Stand up for me! | 0:23:24 | 0:23:29 | |
They're going to give you a huge round of applause! Thank you! | 0:23:29 | 0:23:33 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:23:33 | 0:23:35 | |
They're running away. | 0:23:37 | 0:23:39 | |
Oh, what an illusion! How on earth did they do that? | 0:23:39 | 0:23:43 | |
Have you any ideas? Mr Burgess. | 0:23:43 | 0:23:45 | |
Well, let's start off with the lady at the centre of that act. Miss? | 0:23:45 | 0:23:50 | |
It was really scary because I thought I was going to die. | 0:23:50 | 0:23:54 | |
-Why would you think you were going to die? -I couldn't see what was going on | 0:23:54 | 0:23:58 | |
and I was just looking at the ceiling. | 0:23:58 | 0:24:00 | |
-Do you sleep? -Yes. -You can't see what's going on then. | 0:24:00 | 0:24:03 | |
-Yeah, that's why I get scared sometimes. -You do? | 0:24:03 | 0:24:06 | |
-But, on the whole, did you enjoy the act? -Yes. | 0:24:06 | 0:24:10 | |
You think you know how they do it, don't you? | 0:24:10 | 0:24:12 | |
-Yes. -You've drawn a diagram. Hold it up. | 0:24:12 | 0:24:16 | |
What's your theory behind this diagram? | 0:24:16 | 0:24:18 | |
The plank of wood with a south-facing magnet, | 0:24:18 | 0:24:20 | |
the one at the bottom with a north-facing magnet inside. | 0:24:20 | 0:24:26 | |
The north attracting the south stops it from wobbling | 0:24:26 | 0:24:29 | |
and the south repelling the south keeps it in the air. | 0:24:29 | 0:24:32 | |
Thank you from Science Today. No, that's not how it's done. | 0:24:32 | 0:24:35 | |
-Sum that act up for me, Miss. -Magical. -Magical, sir. | 0:24:35 | 0:24:40 | |
Jailors and jailbirds, it's the moment you've all been waiting for. | 0:24:40 | 0:24:43 | |
The moment of truth where we find out who's going free | 0:24:43 | 0:24:46 | |
from the Freedom Show. Before that, let's welcome them all back! | 0:24:46 | 0:24:51 | |
The sensational acts, Vampire Ascendants, | 0:24:51 | 0:24:55 | |
Planet Jumprope, | 0:24:55 | 0:24:57 | |
Woody the one-man band | 0:24:57 | 0:24:59 | |
and, at the last minute, Jonathan Shotton and Emma! | 0:24:59 | 0:25:01 | |
Give them a big cheer! Now, you know how this works. | 0:25:01 | 0:25:05 | |
You make noise and Gimbert's clapometer turns it into points. | 0:25:05 | 0:25:10 | |
The highest points, well, they're the winners and they go free. | 0:25:10 | 0:25:13 | |
The others, they stay for tea. Let's get on to the important business. | 0:25:13 | 0:25:17 | |
We have got marvellous acts. Kicking it off were Vampire Ascendants! | 0:25:17 | 0:25:22 | |
Come on, let's hear it for them! | 0:25:22 | 0:25:24 | |
-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE -Vampire Ascendants! | 0:25:24 | 0:25:29 | |
Good score! 71.2! Well done the vampires! | 0:25:29 | 0:25:32 | |
Now, the second act you saw, well, they took skipping into a new realm. | 0:25:32 | 0:25:37 | |
Will they be going free? It's Planet Jumprope! | 0:25:37 | 0:25:40 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:25:40 | 0:25:44 | |
Into the lead with 86.7 is Planet Jumprope! Yeah! | 0:25:46 | 0:25:50 | |
Next, he was loveable and cute, he had a little furry thing in his hat. | 0:25:50 | 0:25:53 | |
Yes, it was Woody the one-man band! | 0:25:53 | 0:25:56 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:25:56 | 0:25:59 | |
Oh, Woody, looks like you're staying for tea, as well. 76.1. | 0:26:02 | 0:26:07 | |
Very close. Still in the lead, Planet Jumprope. | 0:26:07 | 0:26:09 | |
Only one act can stop them. He was mysterious, Jonathan Shotton! | 0:26:09 | 0:26:14 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:26:14 | 0:26:16 | |
Oh! | 0:26:16 | 0:26:18 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:26:18 | 0:26:20 | |
Wow! It's close, it's close. Let's see. A score of 86.3. | 0:26:20 | 0:26:24 | |
86.7, though, going free, it's Planet Jumprope! | 0:26:24 | 0:26:27 | |
Just pipped at the post! They're going free! Off you go, guys! | 0:26:27 | 0:26:32 | |
They're going free! Give them a big cheer and a round of applause! | 0:26:32 | 0:26:37 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:26:37 | 0:26:40 | |
Mr Burgess, what's for tea tonight? | 0:26:40 | 0:26:43 | |
Well, tonight, sir, it's a beautiful cod fillet in a golden batter | 0:26:43 | 0:26:47 | |
with mushy peas, chips, two rounds of bread and butter and tea for two. | 0:26:47 | 0:26:51 | |
-That's amazing! Really? -No, sir! It's not! | 0:26:51 | 0:26:56 | |
HE LAUGHS It's lumpy porridge, sir! | 0:26:56 | 0:27:00 | |
Get him back! Off you go. Give them a cheer and a round of applause. | 0:27:00 | 0:27:04 | |
There you go, jailors and jailbirds. | 0:27:04 | 0:27:07 | |
Remember, we're waiting for you, we're watching you | 0:27:08 | 0:27:11 | |
and if you can't sing, dance or rhyme... | 0:27:11 | 0:27:13 | |
ALL: Don't do the crime! | 0:27:13 | 0:27:16 | |
-Bye-bye, everybody! -CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:27:16 | 0:27:20 | |
# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer | 0:27:27 | 0:27:33 | |
Lunar five to base, it's looking good up here. | 0:27:35 | 0:27:37 | |
Setting course for... Hold on a minute! I don't believe this! | 0:27:37 | 0:27:41 | |
Houston, we have a poodle. | 0:27:43 | 0:27:46 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd E-mail [email protected] | 0:27:46 | 0:27:50 | |
. | 0:27:50 | 0:27:50 |