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"Dear Mum, you won't believe what's been going on this week. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
"There was Globot... Alex Crow..." | 0:00:04 | 0:00:06 | |
-See if the prediction's correct. -"..Roller Chicks..." | 0:00:06 | 0:00:09 | |
THEY WHOOP | 0:00:09 | 0:00:11 | |
What about String Fever? Wonderful performance. | 0:00:11 | 0:00:15 | |
Who's writing this letter, you or me? | 0:00:16 | 0:00:18 | |
I need some chicken, I'm hungry. | 0:00:18 | 0:00:20 | |
"That's not all. We had a new inmate this week, they call the Hamster. | 0:00:20 | 0:00:24 | |
"And for a good reason." | 0:00:24 | 0:00:25 | |
Oh, this is tedious. Why don't you send her an e-mail? | 0:00:25 | 0:00:28 | |
# You've been found guilty of a howling showbiz crime | 0:00:33 | 0:00:37 | |
# So welcome to The Slammer where you're gonna serve your time | 0:00:37 | 0:00:42 | |
# With every type of minstrel, entertainer and artiste | 0:00:42 | 0:00:45 | |
# Performing to the limit to try and get released | 0:00:45 | 0:00:50 | |
# So go and fetch the audience, bring them to The Slammer | 0:00:50 | 0:00:55 | |
# And polish up your act, with a bit of glitz and glamour | 0:00:55 | 0:00:59 | |
# Your fate is in their hands so make them cheer and clamour | 0:00:59 | 0:01:03 | |
# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer | 0:01:03 | 0:01:07 | |
# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer! # | 0:01:07 | 0:01:12 | |
Not long till today's Freedom Show, so get those rehearsal shoes | 0:01:12 | 0:01:16 | |
tip-tap-tapping! | 0:01:16 | 0:01:18 | |
And in other news, officers, we have a brand new inmate arriving today. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:22 | |
An escapologist who's about to serve 15 years of incarceration. | 0:01:22 | 0:01:27 | |
Oh, ho-ho, incarceration, sir. | 0:01:27 | 0:01:29 | |
One of my favourite words, sir, | 0:01:29 | 0:01:31 | |
along with jailed, custody, banged and up. | 0:01:31 | 0:01:33 | |
His name's Lenny Conner, AKA, The Hamster. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:36 | |
-Morning. -Don't you knock, Gimbert? | 0:01:39 | 0:01:42 | |
Sorry, Guv, it's just the van transporting the chipmunk... | 0:01:42 | 0:01:46 | |
-The Hamster. -Oh, yeah. | 0:01:46 | 0:01:48 | |
Well, it's arrived...empty! | 0:01:48 | 0:01:49 | |
He's escaped, even before he's arrived. | 0:01:51 | 0:01:54 | |
-Shocking, sir. -Ahem. | 0:01:54 | 0:01:55 | |
Aaagh! Lenny Conner. | 0:01:55 | 0:01:58 | |
Oh, please, call me... | 0:01:58 | 0:02:00 | |
..The Hamster. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:02 | |
Never mind that. Your trouble-causing days are over. | 0:02:02 | 0:02:05 | |
No, no, I'm a changed man. | 0:02:05 | 0:02:07 | |
I'm tired of constantly escaping. | 0:02:07 | 0:02:10 | |
All I want nowadays is a quiet life. | 0:02:10 | 0:02:12 | |
A nice cosy cell, regular meals. | 0:02:12 | 0:02:15 | |
The Hamster will be a model prisoner, I promise. | 0:02:15 | 0:02:19 | |
Hold still, Ted Astaire, you need to look your best | 0:02:22 | 0:02:26 | |
if we're going to appear on the Freedom Show. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:29 | |
Oh, fat chance of that round here. | 0:02:29 | 0:02:31 | |
What do you mean by that? | 0:02:31 | 0:02:33 | |
We keep asking to go on the Freedom Show | 0:02:33 | 0:02:36 | |
-but the Governor never gives us a chance. -That, Pete, is an outrage. | 0:02:36 | 0:02:39 | |
Yes, an outrage, outrage! | 0:02:39 | 0:02:42 | |
Not to mention, illegal. | 0:02:42 | 0:02:45 | |
What do you mean, illegal? | 0:02:45 | 0:02:46 | |
I told you not to mention illegal. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:48 | |
Listen, I've been in loads of showbusiness prisons down the years. | 0:02:48 | 0:02:52 | |
Rule 535, clause three. | 0:02:52 | 0:02:56 | |
"All prisoners must be given regular opportunities | 0:02:56 | 0:02:59 | |
"to appear in the Freedom Show." | 0:02:59 | 0:03:01 | |
Well, we never heard about all that. | 0:03:01 | 0:03:03 | |
Of course you haven't, because the Guv loves to keep you in the dark. | 0:03:03 | 0:03:07 | |
No, we must take a stand. | 0:03:07 | 0:03:10 | |
How about...a strike? | 0:03:10 | 0:03:12 | |
Oh, yes, strike. | 0:03:12 | 0:03:14 | |
-Yes, strike. -Strike! | 0:03:14 | 0:03:16 | |
-Strike, strike, strike. -Strike! | 0:03:16 | 0:03:18 | |
-Oh, yes, strike. -Strike, strike! | 0:03:18 | 0:03:21 | |
Strike, strike! | 0:03:21 | 0:03:23 | |
Ahh... I don't believe it. | 0:03:23 | 0:03:25 | |
-Complete scandal. -Wh-wh-what's a scandal? | 0:03:25 | 0:03:27 | |
The amount of rehearsal room the acts for the Freedom Show have got. | 0:03:27 | 0:03:31 | |
You can barely swing a cat. | 0:03:31 | 0:03:33 | |
-Miaow! -Oh! | 0:03:33 | 0:03:34 | |
All right, you can swing a cat. | 0:03:34 | 0:03:37 | |
These fine entertainers, they can hardly rehearse, it's not fair. | 0:03:37 | 0:03:41 | |
It's a breach of rule 342, clause four. | 0:03:41 | 0:03:45 | |
It's bang out of order. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:46 | |
Yes, join our showbiz comrades-in-arms' strike. | 0:03:46 | 0:03:50 | |
Yes, strike... Agh! | 0:03:50 | 0:03:53 | |
That is a plain biscuit. | 0:03:53 | 0:03:56 | |
All wardens are entitled to chocolate macaroons. | 0:03:56 | 0:04:00 | |
-Rule 223, clause nine. -Strike. | 0:04:00 | 0:04:05 | |
Everybody out! | 0:04:05 | 0:04:08 | |
ALL: Strike, strike, strike... | 0:04:08 | 0:04:10 | |
Strike, strike, strike... | 0:04:14 | 0:04:18 | |
Eyes down for the... | 0:04:18 | 0:04:19 | |
It's not working. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:21 | |
It's not working. What are we going to do? | 0:04:21 | 0:04:23 | |
Permission to scream at them in a loud voice, sir? | 0:04:23 | 0:04:26 | |
-That usually does the trick. -Go ahead. -Shut up! | 0:04:26 | 0:04:29 | |
Strike, strike... | 0:04:31 | 0:04:32 | |
-ALL: Strike, strike, strike... -Wait... | 0:04:32 | 0:04:34 | |
Keep quiet. | 0:04:34 | 0:04:36 | |
Let's hear what the Governor's got to say. | 0:04:36 | 0:04:39 | |
Yeah, a bit of shush, please. | 0:04:39 | 0:04:41 | |
Yes, jailers and jail birds, | 0:04:41 | 0:04:43 | |
I like to think of this place, The Slammer, as my home. | 0:04:43 | 0:04:46 | |
And in a funny sort of way, you are all my family. | 0:04:46 | 0:04:49 | |
And like any family, sometimes we fall out. | 0:04:49 | 0:04:52 | |
But today, something far bigger than all of us is under threat. | 0:04:52 | 0:04:56 | |
And that is the Freedom Show. | 0:04:56 | 0:04:59 | |
Inside, we have an audience waiting. | 0:04:59 | 0:05:02 | |
An audience of children. | 0:05:02 | 0:05:04 | |
Sweet, innocent little children, some of whom may be orphans, | 0:05:04 | 0:05:09 | |
who only want to be thrilled, amused and entertained. | 0:05:09 | 0:05:12 | |
Plus, they've had a few colas and if we don't start the show soon, | 0:05:12 | 0:05:16 | |
they could kick off. | 0:05:16 | 0:05:17 | |
So I appeal to you, from the bottom of my showbiz heart, | 0:05:17 | 0:05:21 | |
call off this strike now, for my sake, for The Slammer's sake | 0:05:21 | 0:05:25 | |
and for the sake of the Freedom Show! | 0:05:25 | 0:05:29 | |
THEY CHEER | 0:05:29 | 0:05:31 | |
-Are you with me? -Yes! | 0:05:31 | 0:05:33 | |
-How do I look? -Divine! | 0:05:33 | 0:05:35 | |
Thank you very much. It's show time! | 0:05:35 | 0:05:38 | |
Right, who threw that? | 0:05:38 | 0:05:40 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, | 0:05:40 | 0:05:42 | |
welcome to HMP Slammer, | 0:05:42 | 0:05:44 | |
where you decide which prisoner is to be released. | 0:05:44 | 0:05:48 | |
Now, please welcome your host, he's negotiated a settlement | 0:05:48 | 0:05:52 | |
and nothing rhymes with settlement. | 0:05:52 | 0:05:55 | |
It's the Governor! | 0:05:55 | 0:05:57 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:05:57 | 0:06:00 | |
Who's the Governor? | 0:06:13 | 0:06:14 | |
ALL: You are the Governor! | 0:06:14 | 0:06:16 | |
We're excited in The Slammer, we've got sensational performers. | 0:06:16 | 0:06:20 | |
We've got a mind reader called Alex Crow. Ooh! | 0:06:20 | 0:06:23 | |
ALL: Ooh! | 0:06:23 | 0:06:25 | |
-We've got some great skaters called Roller Chicks. -Ooh! | 0:06:25 | 0:06:29 | |
And we've got an unusual act - classical music from String Fever. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:34 | |
Ooh! | 0:06:34 | 0:06:35 | |
Remember, all you little performing criminal critics | 0:06:35 | 0:06:38 | |
will decide who goes free from The Slammer | 0:06:38 | 0:06:41 | |
at the end of the Freedom Show. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:42 | |
Will it be this, the very first act up? Very unusual, | 0:06:42 | 0:06:45 | |
the mighty, the amazing Globot! | 0:06:45 | 0:06:49 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:06:49 | 0:06:52 | |
MUSIC: "Invaders Must Die" by The Prodigy | 0:06:59 | 0:07:03 | |
CHEERING | 0:07:35 | 0:07:38 | |
CHEERING | 0:08:35 | 0:08:38 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:09:07 | 0:09:11 | |
Give them a big cheer. Globot, jailers and jail birds. | 0:09:11 | 0:09:15 | |
Give them a big cheer. | 0:09:15 | 0:09:16 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:09:16 | 0:09:20 | |
What did you think of Globot? Ooh, Mr Burgess! | 0:09:20 | 0:09:23 | |
Right, Globot or no bot? Sir? | 0:09:23 | 0:09:26 | |
-I thought it was amazing. -Yeah? | 0:09:26 | 0:09:28 | |
-Yeah. -Why? | 0:09:28 | 0:09:30 | |
Because it was funny, futuristic and well performed. | 0:09:30 | 0:09:34 | |
-That's very good, sir. -What did you think? | 0:09:34 | 0:09:37 | |
It was really good. It was an amazing performance | 0:09:37 | 0:09:39 | |
by the Globot and the dancers, which together made it really good. | 0:09:39 | 0:09:43 | |
And all the sparks that were flying everywhere, | 0:09:43 | 0:09:46 | |
-and the two men that got pushed over! -You liked that? | 0:09:46 | 0:09:49 | |
-It was good. -The crazy professor. -He added to it. | 0:09:49 | 0:09:51 | |
You've got a lot to say. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:53 | |
What are you going to be when you leave school, a TV critic? | 0:09:53 | 0:09:56 | |
-I'm going to try and be a street dancer. -A dancer? | 0:09:56 | 0:09:59 | |
-We haven't got a street but we've got a floor. Can you do it here? -OK. | 0:09:59 | 0:10:02 | |
-What's your name? -Kade. | 0:10:02 | 0:10:04 | |
Go on then, Kade. Here we go. Bit of street dancing from Kade. | 0:10:04 | 0:10:07 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:10:07 | 0:10:09 | |
Oh, yeah, look at him go. Wow! | 0:10:09 | 0:10:12 | |
I think we'll have to get him in The Slammer. | 0:10:14 | 0:10:16 | |
Right, if you could sum that act up for me in one final word, sir. | 0:10:19 | 0:10:23 | |
-Rubbish! -What? | 0:10:23 | 0:10:25 | |
It's all a load of rubbish. | 0:10:25 | 0:10:26 | |
I'll have you, son. | 0:10:26 | 0:10:28 | |
AUDIENCE: Boo! | 0:10:28 | 0:10:30 | |
# It's all a load of rubbish | 0:10:30 | 0:10:33 | |
# All a load of rubbish | 0:10:33 | 0:10:36 | |
Get him! | 0:10:36 | 0:10:37 | |
# It's all a load of rubbish | 0:10:37 | 0:10:41 | |
# It's all a load of rubbish... # | 0:10:41 | 0:10:43 | |
WARDEN BLOWS WHISTLE | 0:10:43 | 0:10:46 | |
Rubbish! | 0:10:49 | 0:10:51 | |
All a load of rubbish. | 0:10:56 | 0:10:58 | |
Boo! | 0:10:58 | 0:11:00 | |
I'm very sorry about that, jailers and jail birds. I really am. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:05 | |
On with our Freedom Show. What a performing prisoner we've got now. | 0:11:05 | 0:11:08 | |
Will you please welcome Alex Crow! | 0:11:08 | 0:11:11 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 0:11:11 | 0:11:13 | |
-Hi, guys, you all right? -Yes! | 0:11:21 | 0:11:23 | |
Mind reading, kind of like Derren Brown. Do you know him? | 0:11:23 | 0:11:26 | |
-Yes! -It's like that but without the charm. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:28 | |
So it's mind reading, a bit of weird stuff. I need someone to help me. | 0:11:28 | 0:11:32 | |
Let's have the young lady, just there. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:34 | |
Yes, come up. Give her a round of applause. | 0:11:34 | 0:11:37 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:11:37 | 0:11:39 | |
Hi, what's your name? | 0:11:39 | 0:11:41 | |
-Gabriella. -Gabriella, fantastic. | 0:11:41 | 0:11:43 | |
What we're going to do first, going to do what's called a prediction. | 0:11:43 | 0:11:48 | |
I'm going to write something on this piece of paper, | 0:11:48 | 0:11:51 | |
I don't want anyone to see. | 0:11:51 | 0:11:53 | |
OK. | 0:11:53 | 0:11:55 | |
Gabriella, I want you to put it in that box so I can't touch it. | 0:11:55 | 0:11:59 | |
Have a look, make sure there's no other cards in there. | 0:11:59 | 0:12:02 | |
There's not loads of cards in there, no? Nothing else in there? | 0:12:02 | 0:12:05 | |
Can you close it up and lock it so I can't get to it? Excellent. | 0:12:05 | 0:12:10 | |
OK, I've got some cards with animals on them. You'll choose an animal | 0:12:10 | 0:12:14 | |
for me, Gabriella. Let me show these to everyone. | 0:12:14 | 0:12:17 | |
We've got cow, lion, llama, hamster, | 0:12:17 | 0:12:22 | |
camel, loads of different animals. You're going to choose one. | 0:12:22 | 0:12:25 | |
We'll mix them up. Take those cards for me. | 0:12:25 | 0:12:28 | |
OK, take half in one hand and half in the other hand. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:32 | |
OK, give one half to me, that you don't want. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:34 | |
Which do you want to get rid of? | 0:12:34 | 0:12:36 | |
Excellent, give us a few more. | 0:12:36 | 0:12:38 | |
Just point to the back of the one you want. | 0:12:42 | 0:12:45 | |
This one on the bottom? | 0:12:45 | 0:12:46 | |
Hold your hand out for me. | 0:12:48 | 0:12:49 | |
Just put that on there. Have a look, what's the one you've chosen? | 0:12:49 | 0:12:53 | |
Show it to everyone. What's it say? | 0:12:53 | 0:12:54 | |
Rat. | 0:12:54 | 0:12:56 | |
That's exactly what I wrote on that card and put in there. | 0:12:56 | 0:12:59 | |
So open up the box and see if the prediction's correct. | 0:12:59 | 0:13:02 | |
Will you do that for me? Open up and have a look... | 0:13:02 | 0:13:05 | |
-What's the matter? -A rat! | 0:13:05 | 0:13:07 | |
Let's have a look. | 0:13:07 | 0:13:08 | |
100% correct. There we are. | 0:13:08 | 0:13:10 | |
Thank you very much, Gabriella. Give her a round of applause. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:14 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:13:14 | 0:13:16 | |
Alex Crow and his rat. Give him a round of applause, please. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:25 | |
-APPLAUSE -My word... | 0:13:25 | 0:13:28 | |
I don't know, we've had a hamster, we've Mr Crow there | 0:13:28 | 0:13:31 | |
and he's got a rat. It's getting like a zoo in here! | 0:13:31 | 0:13:34 | |
Sir, how did he do that? | 0:13:34 | 0:13:36 | |
-Erm... -Yes, that's right, you. | 0:13:36 | 0:13:40 | |
I thought it was excellent, extraordinary, | 0:13:40 | 0:13:42 | |
-but it could have had some more tricks in it. -How many tricks? | 0:13:42 | 0:13:46 | |
Two or three. | 0:13:46 | 0:13:48 | |
Let's talk to Gabriella because she's here. You went on stage. | 0:13:48 | 0:13:52 | |
What did you think when you saw Frankie the rat in there? | 0:13:52 | 0:13:54 | |
I was just frightened cos I didn't know what it was. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:58 | |
I just looked at the red eyes. | 0:13:58 | 0:14:00 | |
-And did you think it was a wonderful act? -Yeah. | 0:14:00 | 0:14:03 | |
And for one final word on that act, miss. | 0:14:03 | 0:14:06 | |
Odd. | 0:14:06 | 0:14:07 | |
Odd, sir! | 0:14:07 | 0:14:08 | |
Mr Burgess, I see you've managed to catch the Hamster! | 0:14:08 | 0:14:11 | |
CHEERING | 0:14:11 | 0:14:13 | |
Seeing as my officers can't do the job properly, sir, | 0:14:14 | 0:14:18 | |
I've put him under the charge of these two audience members. | 0:14:18 | 0:14:21 | |
Like this pathetic lot can stop me, the Hamster, from escaping! | 0:14:21 | 0:14:27 | |
-Shut up! -Don't take your eyes off him, ladies. | 0:14:27 | 0:14:30 | |
You just sit there and watch the show. | 0:14:30 | 0:14:33 | |
You'll like this next bit, | 0:14:33 | 0:14:35 | |
it's the act that we call Solitary Confinement. | 0:14:35 | 0:14:39 | |
Yes, Solitary Confinement, the place in the Slammer | 0:14:42 | 0:14:45 | |
where we keep those acts whose crimes were so terrible, | 0:14:45 | 0:14:49 | |
we can't keep them with the other prisoners. | 0:14:49 | 0:14:51 | |
We give them one chance to perform. | 0:14:51 | 0:14:54 | |
They don't go free, but if they get the thumbs up from one of you, | 0:14:54 | 0:14:57 | |
they get a nice treat. | 0:14:57 | 0:15:00 | |
Today's treat is they go in a cell with a telly. | 0:15:00 | 0:15:02 | |
If they don't do well, it's back to the cell | 0:15:02 | 0:15:05 | |
for a cruel and unusual punishment. | 0:15:05 | 0:15:07 | |
-Mr Burgess... -Sir! | 0:15:07 | 0:15:09 | |
..what is today's cruel and unusual punishment? | 0:15:09 | 0:15:12 | |
Today, sir... | 0:15:12 | 0:15:14 | |
it's making jelly with him. | 0:15:15 | 0:15:17 | |
All right, back in you go. | 0:15:19 | 0:15:21 | |
Mr Burgess, who's going to be today's judge? | 0:15:21 | 0:15:26 | |
-This young man here. -Give him a round of applause, ladies and gentlemen. | 0:15:26 | 0:15:30 | |
Have a nice trip? | 0:15:32 | 0:15:33 | |
-What's your name? -Louis. | 0:15:33 | 0:15:35 | |
Louis, have you got a thumb? | 0:15:35 | 0:15:36 | |
-Yep. -You're going to be a good judge. | 0:15:36 | 0:15:39 | |
It's time for today's Solitary Confinement act. | 0:15:39 | 0:15:42 | |
We call them the Porridge Jugglers. | 0:15:42 | 0:15:45 | |
Come on, over here. | 0:15:45 | 0:15:46 | |
BOOING | 0:16:14 | 0:16:16 | |
Give them a round of applause. | 0:16:38 | 0:16:40 | |
Take them away. | 0:16:40 | 0:16:42 | |
Dear, oh, dear. | 0:16:42 | 0:16:43 | |
Porridge all over the Slammer, what a mess they've made. | 0:16:43 | 0:16:47 | |
Well, Louis, you've got to decide. | 0:16:47 | 0:16:50 | |
Hold that thumb out. | 0:16:50 | 0:16:52 | |
Remember, thumb's up and it's a nice cell with a telly, | 0:16:52 | 0:16:57 | |
thumb's down and it's him with the jelly. | 0:16:57 | 0:17:00 | |
What's it to be, thumb's up or thumb's down? | 0:17:00 | 0:17:03 | |
Oh! It's thumb's down! | 0:17:03 | 0:17:06 | |
Take them away, take all that mess away. | 0:17:06 | 0:17:09 | |
Back in the cell, there they go. | 0:17:09 | 0:17:11 | |
And give Louis a round of applause as well. Off you go, young man. | 0:17:13 | 0:17:16 | |
Marvellous. | 0:17:16 | 0:17:17 | |
Urgh, oh, ooh... | 0:17:17 | 0:17:19 | |
SQUELCHING JELLY | 0:17:19 | 0:17:22 | |
'Not the spoon!' | 0:17:25 | 0:17:26 | |
MORE SQUELCHING | 0:17:26 | 0:17:29 | |
Ooh, that is a cruel and unusual punishment. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:32 | |
On to our next performing prisoner act. | 0:17:32 | 0:17:34 | |
Serving six months for skating away from the scene of a crime, | 0:17:34 | 0:17:38 | |
the Roller Chicks! | 0:17:38 | 0:17:41 | |
# Baby, look at me | 0:18:01 | 0:18:05 | |
# And tell me what you see | 0:18:05 | 0:18:08 | |
# You ain't seen the best of me yet | 0:18:08 | 0:18:12 | |
# Give me time I'll make you forget the rest | 0:18:12 | 0:18:16 | |
# I got more in me | 0:18:16 | 0:18:20 | |
# And you can set it free | 0:18:20 | 0:18:23 | |
# I can catch the moon in my hand | 0:18:23 | 0:18:27 | |
# Don't you know who I am? | 0:18:27 | 0:18:30 | |
# Remember my name Fame! | 0:18:30 | 0:18:32 | |
# I'm gonna live forever | 0:18:32 | 0:18:35 | |
# I'm gonna learn how to fly High! | 0:18:36 | 0:18:40 | |
# I feel it coming together | 0:18:40 | 0:18:43 | |
# People will see me and cry Fame! | 0:18:43 | 0:18:47 | |
# I'm gonna make it to Heaven | 0:18:47 | 0:18:50 | |
# Light up the sky like a flame Fame! | 0:18:50 | 0:18:54 | |
# I'm gonna live forever | 0:18:54 | 0:18:57 | |
# Baby, remember my name | 0:18:59 | 0:19:00 | |
# Remember, remember, remember | 0:19:00 | 0:19:03 | |
# Remember, remember, remember | 0:19:03 | 0:19:06 | |
# Remember | 0:19:06 | 0:19:08 | |
# Remember my name Fame! # | 0:19:28 | 0:19:31 | |
Fabulous. The Roller Chicks. | 0:19:39 | 0:19:40 | |
But are they on the roll to freedom? Let's find out with Mr Burgess. | 0:19:40 | 0:19:45 | |
Right, Roller Chicks, there. | 0:19:45 | 0:19:47 | |
-Sir? -It was very cheeky and was awesome. | 0:19:47 | 0:19:51 | |
Why was it cheeky, sir? | 0:19:51 | 0:19:52 | |
-Chicky. -Chicky! I thought you said cheeky! | 0:19:52 | 0:19:55 | |
-No. -Do you like chicken? -Yes. | 0:19:55 | 0:19:58 | |
-Right. Curried or spiced. -Both. | 0:19:58 | 0:20:00 | |
Did you like the Roller Chicks? | 0:20:00 | 0:20:04 | |
They were different, colourful and fantastic. | 0:20:04 | 0:20:07 | |
-Do you think you could do that if you trained? -No. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:09 | |
-Have they done enough to go free? -Maybe. | 0:20:09 | 0:20:12 | |
One final word, miss? | 0:20:12 | 0:20:14 | |
-Erm... -COME ON! | 0:20:14 | 0:20:16 | |
-Effortless. -Effortless, sir. Thank you, miss. | 0:20:16 | 0:20:20 | |
Well, my little performing prisoner appreciators, | 0:20:20 | 0:20:23 | |
just one more act to see. | 0:20:23 | 0:20:25 | |
Hang on a second, where's the Hamster?! | 0:20:25 | 0:20:28 | |
Mr Burgess?! | 0:20:28 | 0:20:30 | |
I don't believe it, you've let him escape again. | 0:20:30 | 0:20:34 | |
-Burgess! I'm up here! -Right. | 0:20:34 | 0:20:37 | |
I'll have you for this. | 0:20:37 | 0:20:41 | |
You get that bum off! | 0:20:43 | 0:20:45 | |
Now, the next performance... | 0:20:45 | 0:20:48 | |
SHOUTING | 0:20:48 | 0:20:51 | |
Mr Burgess, stop him! | 0:20:51 | 0:20:53 | |
We've got to get on, we've no time to chase hamsters. | 0:20:53 | 0:20:57 | |
We've got a marvellous performing prisoner act to see. | 0:20:57 | 0:21:00 | |
They're classical musicians, would you please welcome String Fever! | 0:21:00 | 0:21:05 | |
MUSIC: "Bolero" by Ravel | 0:21:28 | 0:21:31 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:22:55 | 0:22:57 | |
Wonderful! String Fever, there. | 0:23:02 | 0:23:04 | |
But was it classical, or just a bunch of old Bolero? | 0:23:04 | 0:23:07 | |
Let's find out with Mr Burgess, | 0:23:07 | 0:23:08 | |
Right. String Fever - four presentable young lads. | 0:23:08 | 0:23:12 | |
Was it Bolero or baloney, miss? | 0:23:12 | 0:23:15 | |
I thought it was amazing how they did it on one instrument, | 0:23:15 | 0:23:18 | |
it sounded like a whole orchestra. | 0:23:18 | 0:23:20 | |
-Do you like classical music? -Sometimes. | 0:23:20 | 0:23:22 | |
Tell me what you thought of the whole act. | 0:23:22 | 0:23:25 | |
I thought it was extraordinary. | 0:23:25 | 0:23:27 | |
I liked the way the electric cello | 0:23:27 | 0:23:30 | |
was a different style to normal cellos. | 0:23:30 | 0:23:34 | |
-Sir? -It was talented and wicked. | 0:23:34 | 0:23:37 | |
Talented and wicked, sir? | 0:23:37 | 0:23:39 | |
-Yeah, but... -I'm...I'm going, sir! | 0:23:39 | 0:23:41 | |
LAUGHTER Sorry, sir! | 0:23:41 | 0:23:44 | |
I'm terribly sorry, sir. | 0:23:44 | 0:23:46 | |
What did this young gentleman think of this classical piece? | 0:23:46 | 0:23:49 | |
I just think it really was string fever. | 0:23:49 | 0:23:52 | |
Do you think they've done enough to go free? | 0:23:52 | 0:23:55 | |
Maybe, just about. | 0:23:55 | 0:23:58 | |
One final word, sir? | 0:23:58 | 0:23:59 | |
-Suits. -Suits, sir. | 0:23:59 | 0:24:02 | |
Oh, jailors and jailbirds, four fantastic performing prisoners, | 0:24:02 | 0:24:05 | |
and a hamster running through all of them. | 0:24:05 | 0:24:07 | |
Only one act can go free from the Slammer. | 0:24:07 | 0:24:10 | |
Who is it going to be? Welcome them back, please. Globot! | 0:24:10 | 0:24:14 | |
Alex Crow! | 0:24:14 | 0:24:16 | |
Roller Chicks! | 0:24:16 | 0:24:18 | |
And String Fever! | 0:24:18 | 0:24:20 | |
Give a big hand, there! | 0:24:20 | 0:24:22 | |
That Globot is scary! | 0:24:22 | 0:24:24 | |
My word. | 0:24:24 | 0:24:26 | |
Only one act can go free, who is it going to be? | 0:24:26 | 0:24:29 | |
It will be the act that scores highest on the clap-o-meter. | 0:24:29 | 0:24:33 | |
You clap, we turn it into points. | 0:24:33 | 0:24:35 | |
Who's it going to be? The first act was spectacular. | 0:24:35 | 0:24:39 | |
One of the biggest acts I've ever seen. | 0:24:39 | 0:24:42 | |
Will you please show your appreciation for Globot! | 0:24:42 | 0:24:46 | |
SCREAMING AND APPLAUSE | 0:24:46 | 0:24:49 | |
Wow. | 0:24:54 | 0:24:55 | |
A great score, 90.8. | 0:24:55 | 0:24:57 | |
Well done, Globot. | 0:24:57 | 0:24:58 | |
Good score to set off with. | 0:24:58 | 0:25:00 | |
Next act up, it was two for the price of one. | 0:25:00 | 0:25:03 | |
He read minds, he had a cute furry friend, | 0:25:03 | 0:25:05 | |
it wasn't the Hamster, it was Frankie the rat, | 0:25:05 | 0:25:08 | |
with Alex Crow! | 0:25:08 | 0:25:10 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:25:10 | 0:25:12 | |
Up in the 80s, good score, 83.9. | 0:25:17 | 0:25:19 | |
We're moving on to the next act. | 0:25:19 | 0:25:22 | |
They sang and they skated. | 0:25:22 | 0:25:24 | |
Will they be skating free? | 0:25:24 | 0:25:25 | |
Jailors and jailbirds, you're appreciation for the Roller Chicks! | 0:25:25 | 0:25:28 | |
SCREAMING | 0:25:28 | 0:25:31 | |
Oh, well, I don't know... 82.8. I thought you were marvellous, ladies. | 0:25:36 | 0:25:40 | |
Only one act can pip Globot, in the lead with 90.8. | 0:25:40 | 0:25:46 | |
Will it be this next group? | 0:25:46 | 0:25:48 | |
They were classical, will they win your vote? String Fever! | 0:25:48 | 0:25:51 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:25:51 | 0:25:54 | |
78.8. | 0:25:57 | 0:25:58 | |
String Fever. | 0:25:58 | 0:26:01 | |
That means going free, with a score of 90.8, | 0:26:01 | 0:26:04 | |
it is Globot! | 0:26:04 | 0:26:07 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:26:07 | 0:26:09 | |
There we are, off they go. | 0:26:09 | 0:26:12 | |
Just as well, the electricity cost us a fortune. | 0:26:12 | 0:26:16 | |
The good news for the rest of you is you're in time for tea. | 0:26:16 | 0:26:19 | |
I'll ask Mr Burgess, although I think I know the answer, | 0:26:19 | 0:26:22 | |
what's for tea? | 0:26:22 | 0:26:23 | |
It's a bargain bucket tonight, sir. | 0:26:23 | 0:26:25 | |
What's in the bucket? | 0:26:25 | 0:26:27 | |
Sloppy, floppy porridge, sir. | 0:26:27 | 0:26:28 | |
I might have know it! | 0:26:28 | 0:26:30 | |
Take them off to the cells. Give them a round of applause. | 0:26:30 | 0:26:33 | |
String Fever, the Roller Chicks and Alex Crow. | 0:26:33 | 0:26:37 | |
Some marvellous performing prisoners here in the Slammer. | 0:26:37 | 0:26:41 | |
Take care, and remember - who's the governor? | 0:26:41 | 0:26:44 | |
AUDIENCE: You're the governor! | 0:26:44 | 0:26:46 | |
Bye, ladies and gentlemen! Bye! | 0:26:46 | 0:26:49 | |
Right. I never thought I'd say this to a prisoner, but you're free to go. | 0:27:07 | 0:27:12 | |
No, don't please. Don't send me away. | 0:27:12 | 0:27:14 | |
-Out that door. Get out of it. -Help! | 0:27:14 | 0:27:18 | |
-Mr Burgess? -Sir! -Have you seen The Hamster? | 0:27:19 | 0:27:22 | |
Unfortunately the little pipsqueak has escaped again. | 0:27:22 | 0:27:25 | |
-Honestly, the security in this prison's a joke. -Lax, sir. | 0:27:25 | 0:27:29 | |
-Knock, knock... -Who's there? | 0:27:29 | 0:27:31 | |
Oh! Oh! Mr Burgess! Get him off me! | 0:27:31 | 0:27:34 | |
SHOUTING | 0:27:34 | 0:27:38 |