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Dear Sis. I am writing to you from my new e-mail address, | 0:00:02 | 0:00:07 | |
the governor, dot, who is the governor, dot, you are the governor | 0:00:07 | 0:00:12 | |
at sloppy ploppy dot UK. | 0:00:12 | 0:00:14 | |
It's so long I have worn out two keyboards. | 0:00:15 | 0:00:19 | |
Three keyboards. | 0:00:24 | 0:00:26 | |
Anyway, this week's freedom show was one of the best yet. | 0:00:26 | 0:00:30 | |
Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai! | 0:00:30 | 0:00:32 | |
And one of the weirdest yet. | 0:00:32 | 0:00:35 | |
Oh, and we had an unexpected guest. | 0:00:39 | 0:00:43 | |
HE ROARS. | 0:00:43 | 0:00:45 | |
Oh, good Lord, it's you. | 0:00:45 | 0:00:46 | |
Here is the whole stilly... | 0:00:46 | 0:00:49 | |
stooly... | 0:00:49 | 0:00:51 | |
Oh, ctrl-alt-delete. Oh... | 0:00:51 | 0:00:54 | |
# You've been found guilty Of a howling showbiz crime | 0:00:57 | 0:01:02 | |
# So welcome to The Slammer Where you're gonna serve your time | 0:01:02 | 0:01:07 | |
# With every type of minstrel Entertainer and artiste | 0:01:07 | 0:01:11 | |
# Performing to the limit To try and get released | 0:01:11 | 0:01:15 | |
# So go and fetch the audience Bring them to The Slammer | 0:01:15 | 0:01:20 | |
# And polish up your act With a bit of glitz and glamour | 0:01:20 | 0:01:24 | |
# Your fate is in their hands So make them cheer and clamour | 0:01:24 | 0:01:28 | |
# It's the only way You'll ever leave The Slammer | 0:01:28 | 0:01:33 | |
# It's the only way You'll ever leave The Slammer! # | 0:01:33 | 0:01:38 | |
Oh, Titch. I'm so sick of being stuck in this place. | 0:01:38 | 0:01:44 | |
I've only got two friends, and one of them's Gimbert. | 0:01:44 | 0:01:48 | |
I wish you and I were real best friends. | 0:01:48 | 0:01:52 | |
If only you were real. | 0:01:52 | 0:01:54 | |
'If only you were real. | 0:01:54 | 0:01:56 | |
'If only you were real. | 0:01:56 | 0:01:59 | |
'If only you were real. | 0:01:59 | 0:02:01 | |
All right, look lively. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:03 | |
Peter, time for your music therapy session. Ready? | 0:02:03 | 0:02:06 | |
-Yeah, champion, Guv(!) -Come on then, lad. Ha, ha! | 0:02:06 | 0:02:10 | |
-Mr Burgess. -Sir. | 0:02:10 | 0:02:12 | |
'If only you were real.' | 0:02:14 | 0:02:17 | |
Right, what's the job this time, then? | 0:02:18 | 0:02:21 | |
Customer wants a puppet made human. | 0:02:21 | 0:02:24 | |
Oh, same old, same old. | 0:02:24 | 0:02:25 | |
Where's the puppet, then? | 0:02:25 | 0:02:28 | |
Ah, this must be it. | 0:02:28 | 0:02:29 | |
Right. | 0:02:32 | 0:02:34 | |
Eh...hmm. What do I say again? Oh, yeah. | 0:02:35 | 0:02:38 | |
Shazam! Listen, you. | 0:02:38 | 0:02:41 | |
You've been made human by the love of your owner, | 0:02:41 | 0:02:45 | |
blah, blah, blah, etc, etc. | 0:02:45 | 0:02:47 | |
Be good. Laters! | 0:02:47 | 0:02:50 | |
HE GROWLS | 0:02:51 | 0:02:53 | |
# On Mother Kelly's doorstep | 0:02:57 | 0:03:00 | |
# Down Paradise Row | 0:03:01 | 0:03:03 | |
# I'd sit along Nellie | 0:03:05 | 0:03:08 | |
# She'd sit along Joe | 0:03:09 | 0:03:11 | |
# She's got a little hole in her sock | 0:03:13 | 0:03:16 | |
# A hole in her shoe | 0:03:16 | 0:03:19 | |
# A hole in her stocking, where her toe peeps through | 0:03:19 | 0:03:22 | |
# But Nellie was the smartest down our alley | 0:03:22 | 0:03:29 | |
# On Mother Kelly's do... # | 0:03:29 | 0:03:32 | |
You all right? Everything OK? | 0:03:32 | 0:03:34 | |
-Oh, yeah. Brilliant, Guv(!) -I do requests. | 0:03:34 | 0:03:37 | |
-Can you throw that in a skip? -Watch it. | 0:03:37 | 0:03:40 | |
-KNOCK KNOCK -I'm not expecting visitors. | 0:03:40 | 0:03:43 | |
KNOCK KNOCK | 0:03:43 | 0:03:45 | |
Hello? Come in. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:48 | |
No! It can't be. | 0:03:53 | 0:03:55 | |
-He's alive! -Who is? | 0:03:55 | 0:03:57 | |
One of my puppets. I call him Naughty Thomas. | 0:03:57 | 0:04:01 | |
HE ROARS | 0:04:01 | 0:04:04 | |
Will you be my friend? Ow! | 0:04:04 | 0:04:06 | |
You little blighter. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:09 | |
-Peter, get him off me! -Naughty Thomas, Naughty Thomas! | 0:04:09 | 0:04:14 | |
Uh-oh. Guv, are you all right? | 0:04:19 | 0:04:23 | |
-Oh, sir. -My entire life passed before my eyes. | 0:04:23 | 0:04:26 | |
-What did you see? -Mostly repeats. Anyway, how do I look? | 0:04:26 | 0:04:30 | |
Peter, find that monster and stop him getting on stage, | 0:04:32 | 0:04:36 | |
because real-life puppet on the loose or not, it's show time. | 0:04:36 | 0:04:41 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to HMP Slammer, | 0:04:41 | 0:04:45 | |
where you decide which prisoner is to be released. | 0:04:45 | 0:04:48 | |
Please welcome your host, | 0:04:48 | 0:04:50 | |
he's brushed his hair and combed his teeth, | 0:04:50 | 0:04:54 | |
he went to school with a bloke called Keith...it's The Governor! | 0:04:54 | 0:04:58 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:04:58 | 0:05:00 | |
-Who's The Governor? -CROWD: -You're The Governor! | 0:05:13 | 0:05:17 | |
Everybody, it's great to see you. | 0:05:17 | 0:05:20 | |
We have a fantastic show for you. Ready? | 0:05:20 | 0:05:23 | |
-CROWD: -Yes! | 0:05:23 | 0:05:25 | |
You'll decide who goes free at the end of the show, | 0:05:25 | 0:05:28 | |
and what acts we have. We've got a weird act, | 0:05:28 | 0:05:31 | |
they do great things with a wall and spray cans, it's YrWall. | 0:05:31 | 0:05:35 | |
-CROWD: -Ooh! | 0:05:35 | 0:05:37 | |
Marvellous dancing with the Masters of Dance. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:42 | |
And a strange, very mysterious derring-do act, Ali Cook. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:46 | |
-CROWD: -Ooh! | 0:05:46 | 0:05:48 | |
And also, we've had a little gremlin in the works today, | 0:05:48 | 0:05:53 | |
under the stage, in the wings | 0:05:53 | 0:05:55 | |
and running about, so if you see anything unusual, let us know. | 0:05:55 | 0:05:59 | |
But first, will you please welcome | 0:05:59 | 0:06:02 | |
the incredible talents of Les Philips, yeah! | 0:06:02 | 0:06:06 | |
MUSIC: "A Little Less Conversation" by Elvis Presley | 0:06:12 | 0:06:16 | |
CHEERING | 0:06:25 | 0:06:28 | |
Yeah, all right! | 0:06:35 | 0:06:37 | |
Oh, yeah! Thank you! Wow, what an audience. | 0:06:39 | 0:06:43 | |
We need two boys and two girls to... | 0:06:43 | 0:06:46 | |
Hey, don't fight! Eh...please. | 0:06:46 | 0:06:51 | |
Can you come, yeah? Follow me. | 0:06:51 | 0:06:53 | |
-Yes, you, please. -Sorry! | 0:06:55 | 0:06:57 | |
Next time, I'm there. | 0:06:57 | 0:07:00 | |
-Oh, faster. -Come the other side. | 0:07:00 | 0:07:04 | |
-So you just step on the line, that's it. -Ah, well, now. | 0:07:04 | 0:07:08 | |
We've got a nice couple, cute couple. | 0:07:08 | 0:07:10 | |
Oooh, la, la, la. | 0:07:10 | 0:07:13 | |
C'est bon? | 0:07:13 | 0:07:14 | |
-Ai, ai, ai, ai, ai. -Smile. | 0:07:14 | 0:07:18 | |
Ooh, la, la, la, don't move! | 0:07:18 | 0:07:21 | |
CHEERING | 0:07:21 | 0:07:23 | |
But now we need a man. | 0:07:32 | 0:07:34 | |
-Me? -Please, yeah, please. Can you come? | 0:07:34 | 0:07:37 | |
It's simple, don't worry. Have a seat. | 0:07:37 | 0:07:39 | |
-You all right? -Oh, he's very big. -Are you happy? -Yeah. | 0:07:41 | 0:07:45 | |
Tell it to your face. | 0:07:45 | 0:07:47 | |
Ah, this one is not good for it. | 0:07:47 | 0:07:50 | |
-It's too much. -We will put it there, don't worry. | 0:07:50 | 0:07:53 | |
-So, party blower. Does it work? Yeah, it works. -Very good. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:57 | |
A nice pair of sunglasses, you can see much better. What style. | 0:07:57 | 0:08:02 | |
And then to cover all that, a brand new hat from France. | 0:08:02 | 0:08:07 | |
So listen carefully. | 0:08:07 | 0:08:08 | |
Hold the chair and don't move until the end. | 0:08:08 | 0:08:12 | |
It's better for you. | 0:08:12 | 0:08:14 | |
All right. Music? | 0:08:14 | 0:08:16 | |
Ooh, la, la, la, la. Ai, ai, ai. | 0:08:16 | 0:08:19 | |
MUSIC: "Mission Impossible Theme" | 0:08:19 | 0:08:22 | |
Woah! | 0:08:22 | 0:08:25 | |
Yes! | 0:08:35 | 0:08:38 | |
Oh, la, la, la, la. | 0:08:38 | 0:08:40 | |
At the end of the day, | 0:08:52 | 0:08:53 | |
will you be saying tres bon or were they les miserables? | 0:08:53 | 0:08:57 | |
Let us find out with Monsieur Burgess. | 0:08:57 | 0:09:01 | |
Right, then. Les Philips. | 0:09:01 | 0:09:03 | |
But were they magnifique or les enfants terrible? | 0:09:03 | 0:09:07 | |
I thought that was fantastic. | 0:09:07 | 0:09:09 | |
What was fantastic about it, Miss? | 0:09:09 | 0:09:12 | |
-When I got on stage. -How did it feel to be involved? | 0:09:12 | 0:09:15 | |
-Shocking. -Shocking? -I was scared. -Yes? | 0:09:17 | 0:09:20 | |
Why were you scared? | 0:09:20 | 0:09:22 | |
I thought they might hit me. | 0:09:22 | 0:09:24 | |
I'd have taken care of them if that had happened. | 0:09:24 | 0:09:27 | |
What did you think? | 0:09:27 | 0:09:29 | |
Um, I thought Les Philips were magnificent, | 0:09:29 | 0:09:32 | |
especially when they threw the clubs and took off the party popper, | 0:09:32 | 0:09:36 | |
the sunglasses and the hat. | 0:09:36 | 0:09:39 | |
-Could you describe it in French? -Tres bien. | 0:09:39 | 0:09:42 | |
Tres bien, merci, monsieur. | 0:09:42 | 0:09:44 | |
-One final word, sum that act up. -Unbelievable. | 0:09:44 | 0:09:48 | |
Unbelievable, sir. | 0:09:48 | 0:09:50 | |
The next act saw the writing on the wall... | 0:09:50 | 0:09:53 | |
-GROWLING -..but they're hoping to go free... | 0:09:53 | 0:09:57 | |
-Oh, hi! -Jailers and jailbirds, give it up, please, for YrWall! | 0:09:57 | 0:10:02 | |
MUSIC: "Get A Move On" by Mr Scruff | 0:10:09 | 0:10:12 | |
Look at that, jailers and jailbirds. | 0:12:21 | 0:12:24 | |
Your kind of thing? Is the writing on the wall? Let's find out. | 0:12:24 | 0:12:28 | |
He's called YrWall but was it your wall? | 0:12:28 | 0:12:31 | |
It was really good and... | 0:12:31 | 0:12:34 | |
-He could've done better. -Why could he have done better, sir? | 0:12:34 | 0:12:38 | |
With more stars, and other pictures | 0:12:38 | 0:12:41 | |
and he could be better than the guy that did Mona Lisa. | 0:12:41 | 0:12:45 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:12:45 | 0:12:47 | |
So, if he is better than him, he'll be a famous artist. | 0:12:47 | 0:12:51 | |
-Yeah, was it up on the wall for you? -Yeah, it was brilliant. | 0:12:51 | 0:12:54 | |
I was wondering how he did it, | 0:12:54 | 0:12:57 | |
and it looked awesome when he'd finished it. | 0:12:57 | 0:13:00 | |
-Very good. Should he go free? -Yeah. | 0:13:00 | 0:13:02 | |
I hope so. He writes things about me on the wall and I don't like it. | 0:13:02 | 0:13:07 | |
-What did you make of that act, sir? -I thought that it was a bit weird | 0:13:07 | 0:13:11 | |
at the beginning but at the end, I knew what he was drawing. | 0:13:11 | 0:13:16 | |
-What was that drawing of, sir? -Uh, a monster spitting goo. | 0:13:16 | 0:13:20 | |
-Would you let him go? -Yeah. -Splendid. -This young man over here. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:25 | |
It was a very good, detailed drawing but a bit boring. | 0:13:25 | 0:13:28 | |
To improve it, he should do something else too, | 0:13:28 | 0:13:31 | |
like riding a unicycle. | 0:13:31 | 0:13:34 | |
Riding a unicycle whilst drawing on the wall? | 0:13:34 | 0:13:37 | |
One final word - sum that act up for me, sir. | 0:13:37 | 0:13:40 | |
-No! -Come on, don't be shy. | 0:13:40 | 0:13:42 | |
HE GROWLS Oh, good lord, it's you! | 0:13:42 | 0:13:44 | |
WHISTLE BLOWS | 0:13:44 | 0:13:47 | |
Ooh, dear. I warned you about gremlins. | 0:13:47 | 0:13:49 | |
Right, on to the act that we call Solitary Confinement. | 0:13:49 | 0:13:54 | |
SCREAM | 0:13:54 | 0:13:56 | |
These are the acts that we keep locked away | 0:13:56 | 0:13:59 | |
in the darkest, deepest dungeon. | 0:13:59 | 0:14:01 | |
We don't let them out, but if they do well, they get a little treat. | 0:14:01 | 0:14:06 | |
And today's is, we'll put them in a nice cell, | 0:14:06 | 0:14:09 | |
with a comfy toilet. | 0:14:09 | 0:14:10 | |
With a soft seat, nice toilet paper, and it flushes, too. | 0:14:10 | 0:14:14 | |
But if they don't do well, they go back to their cell | 0:14:14 | 0:14:18 | |
for a cruel and unusual punishment. | 0:14:18 | 0:14:20 | |
-Mr Burgess. -Sir! -What is today's punishment? | 0:14:20 | 0:14:24 | |
It's being put into a popcorn machine | 0:14:24 | 0:14:27 | |
and forced to sing a song called Agadoo, sir. | 0:14:27 | 0:14:30 | |
Ooh, that sounds nasty, doesn't it? Well, we need a judge. | 0:14:30 | 0:14:34 | |
-Mr Burgess, select... -That lady, there! | 0:14:34 | 0:14:37 | |
Yes, she looks good. | 0:14:37 | 0:14:39 | |
Up on to the stage. A round of applause, please. | 0:14:39 | 0:14:42 | |
-What's your name? -Ruth. -Ruth, you are today's judge | 0:14:42 | 0:14:46 | |
for what we call Solitary Confinement! | 0:14:46 | 0:14:48 | |
Here we go. | 0:14:48 | 0:14:50 | |
PLAYS FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLEBEE | 0:15:03 | 0:15:06 | |
Well. There we are. | 0:15:36 | 0:15:38 | |
Well, Ruth. | 0:15:38 | 0:15:40 | |
You don't often see electric guitar-playing bees, do you? | 0:15:40 | 0:15:44 | |
Remember, thumbs up and it's a nice posh loo, | 0:15:44 | 0:15:47 | |
thumbs down and pop, pop with Agadoo. | 0:15:47 | 0:15:50 | |
You've got five seconds to decide his fate, starting from now. | 0:15:50 | 0:15:54 | |
Up, down, up, down, it's... | 0:15:57 | 0:16:00 | |
Down! Oh, take him away. Buzz off! | 0:16:00 | 0:16:03 | |
Give Ruth a round of applause, please, thank you. | 0:16:03 | 0:16:06 | |
Flight Of The Bumblebee, | 0:16:06 | 0:16:08 | |
flying straight back into solitary confinement. | 0:16:08 | 0:16:12 | |
There he goes... Oh, hang on a minute. | 0:16:12 | 0:16:14 | |
POPCORN POPS, AGADOO PLAYS | 0:16:14 | 0:16:18 | |
SCREAMS | 0:16:18 | 0:16:21 | |
BOOM | 0:16:21 | 0:16:23 | |
But it's now time for your next prisoner act. | 0:16:25 | 0:16:28 | |
They could go free, the Masters Of Dance! | 0:16:28 | 0:16:31 | |
-ROBOT VOICE: -Masters Of Dance initiate B-boy sequence. | 0:16:41 | 0:16:46 | |
MUSIC: "The Life Of The Party" By The Jackson Five | 0:16:46 | 0:16:49 | |
# All you gotta do Is clap your hands, hands, hands | 0:16:49 | 0:16:53 | |
# You'll be the life of the party | 0:16:53 | 0:16:56 | |
# Yes, you will, now | 0:16:56 | 0:16:58 | |
# Life of the party Yes, you can | 0:16:58 | 0:17:00 | |
# Hey, Miss corner sitter | 0:17:00 | 0:17:03 | |
# Never left your seat | 0:17:03 | 0:17:04 | |
# Now, you got the movement | 0:17:04 | 0:17:06 | |
# And soon you'll be doin' it So get with it | 0:17:06 | 0:17:09 | |
# Baby, get with it | 0:17:09 | 0:17:12 | |
-# You'll be the life of the party -You thrill me when you dance | 0:17:12 | 0:17:14 | |
# You can be, you can be Life of the party | 0:17:14 | 0:17:18 | |
# You can be, you can be | 0:17:18 | 0:17:21 | |
-# You can dance -Yes, you can! | 0:17:21 | 0:17:23 | |
# You're a sexy momma Such a dancing dream | 0:17:23 | 0:17:28 | |
# You're no longer sittin' Your train's puffin' steam | 0:17:28 | 0:17:31 | |
-# The guys are lined up... # -Oh, no! | 0:17:31 | 0:17:32 | |
-# They're hoping to wind up... # -Hey, stop him! | 0:17:32 | 0:17:36 | |
# With you now, can't you see it? | 0:17:36 | 0:17:38 | |
-# You'll be the life of the party -I love the way you dance | 0:17:38 | 0:17:41 | |
# You can be, you can be | 0:17:41 | 0:17:42 | |
# The life of the party | 0:17:42 | 0:17:45 | |
# You can be, you can be | 0:17:45 | 0:17:47 | |
# All you gotta do is dance, dance, dance | 0:17:51 | 0:17:55 | |
# All you gotta do is clap your hands, hands, hands | 0:17:55 | 0:17:59 | |
# You can boogie, you can boogie You can boogie, you can boogie | 0:17:59 | 0:18:01 | |
# You can move, move, move | 0:18:01 | 0:18:03 | |
# You can boogie, you can boogie You can boogie, you can boogie | 0:18:03 | 0:18:05 | |
# You can move, move, move | 0:18:05 | 0:18:06 | |
# Let's get down, down, down down, down, down | 0:18:06 | 0:18:09 | |
# Life of the party | 0:18:09 | 0:18:12 | |
# Yes, you can... # | 0:18:12 | 0:18:14 | |
MUSIC REWINDS | 0:18:14 | 0:18:17 | |
-ROBOT VOICE: -Masters Of Dance, initiate robot sequence. | 0:18:17 | 0:18:21 | |
-ROBOT VOICE: -Masters Of Dance, until next time, complete. | 0:18:46 | 0:18:51 | |
He's a dancer, that little fella. What did you think? | 0:18:59 | 0:19:03 | |
What did you make of Masters Of Dance? | 0:19:03 | 0:19:05 | |
Was it just lads squirming about? | 0:19:05 | 0:19:08 | |
When they were dancing and the boy came out of the box, | 0:19:08 | 0:19:13 | |
I weren't expecting that. | 0:19:13 | 0:19:15 | |
-Did it totally freak you out, sir? -Yeah. | 0:19:15 | 0:19:19 | |
Hello, madam. Did you like them? | 0:19:19 | 0:19:22 | |
They were brilliant, they were like actual robots. | 0:19:22 | 0:19:26 | |
-ROBOT VOICE: -I thought they were like robots, too. | 0:19:26 | 0:19:29 | |
You've never seen anything like it, have you? | 0:19:29 | 0:19:32 | |
-They should go free, you think? -Yeah. | 0:19:32 | 0:19:35 | |
-Was it awesome for you, sir? -Yeah. | 0:19:35 | 0:19:37 | |
All right. What did you think, sir? | 0:19:37 | 0:19:40 | |
-It was fantastic. -And? -I liked the robot, and when the kid came in. | 0:19:40 | 0:19:45 | |
-You liked that? -Out of the box. | 0:19:45 | 0:19:47 | |
-Now, do you think they've done enough to go free? -Yeah. | 0:19:47 | 0:19:51 | |
Oh, hello. You look like that little fella who was dancing there. | 0:19:51 | 0:19:56 | |
What did you think of Masters Of Dance? | 0:19:56 | 0:19:59 | |
Um, the robot sequence was awesome. | 0:19:59 | 0:20:01 | |
And a score out of ten for them, sir? | 0:20:01 | 0:20:04 | |
Uh...nine and a half. | 0:20:04 | 0:20:06 | |
Nine and a half! That's marvellous. | 0:20:06 | 0:20:09 | |
Sum that act up for me, sir. | 0:20:09 | 0:20:10 | |
Um...good? | 0:20:10 | 0:20:12 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:20:12 | 0:20:15 | |
That's all right. Good. | 0:20:15 | 0:20:17 | |
Here in The Slammer, we get lots of acts. | 0:20:17 | 0:20:19 | |
One thing that they've all done is spent years practising. | 0:20:19 | 0:20:23 | |
Some acts are very, very risky. | 0:20:23 | 0:20:26 | |
I do not want to hear of any of you ever trying | 0:20:26 | 0:20:28 | |
an act like this one, because it's specially for the people doing it. | 0:20:28 | 0:20:33 | |
Jailers and jailbirds, | 0:20:33 | 0:20:35 | |
please welcome the derring-do, the mystery of Ali Cook! | 0:20:35 | 0:20:40 | |
I'll show you the world's most dangerous escape. | 0:20:48 | 0:20:51 | |
Harry Houdini's water torture cell. | 0:20:51 | 0:20:55 | |
This is actually a steel lid, | 0:20:55 | 0:20:57 | |
and this here is made of reinforced plastic, | 0:20:57 | 0:21:01 | |
so you'll see me trapped underneath the water. | 0:21:01 | 0:21:04 | |
I also have some packing straps here, | 0:21:04 | 0:21:07 | |
and these packing straps, | 0:21:07 | 0:21:09 | |
they wrap all the way around until the reverse of the case, just here. | 0:21:09 | 0:21:14 | |
As well as that, we've also got some heavy-duty shackles, | 0:21:14 | 0:21:18 | |
one at the front, one at the back, and they both have | 0:21:18 | 0:21:22 | |
heavy duty padlocks on, trapping me under the water. | 0:21:22 | 0:21:26 | |
Duncan, here, will get all the straps off, | 0:21:26 | 0:21:29 | |
and all of the padlocks. | 0:21:29 | 0:21:31 | |
Bear in mind, this is a very heavy lid. | 0:21:31 | 0:21:34 | |
All right, here comes the dangerous bit. | 0:21:34 | 0:21:37 | |
Some people don't believe this is actually full of water, | 0:21:42 | 0:21:46 | |
but as you can see, it's a full tank. | 0:21:46 | 0:21:49 | |
And Tia, here, has a wetsuit on in case anything goes wrong, | 0:21:49 | 0:21:53 | |
she's been trained to drag me out of the water. | 0:21:53 | 0:21:56 | |
Firstly, the handcuffs go on. Tight... Ow. Really tight. | 0:21:56 | 0:22:00 | |
These are police regulation handcuffs. | 0:22:00 | 0:22:03 | |
Duncan, if you check those. | 0:22:03 | 0:22:06 | |
Welded to the bottom of the tank is a short chain. | 0:22:08 | 0:22:11 | |
Attached to that is a neck brace | 0:22:11 | 0:22:14 | |
that will leave me trapped under the water. | 0:22:14 | 0:22:17 | |
When Harry Houdini did this, | 0:22:17 | 0:22:19 | |
he managed it in about 20 minutes. | 0:22:19 | 0:22:22 | |
We'll try and do it quicker and beat his record. | 0:22:22 | 0:22:26 | |
As soon as my head goes under, we'll start the countdown. | 0:22:26 | 0:22:30 | |
Ready? | 0:22:30 | 0:22:32 | |
Ready? | 0:22:32 | 0:22:34 | |
Wow! Ali Cook and company, give them a big hand, please. Fantastic. | 0:23:19 | 0:23:24 | |
Well, jailers and jailbirds, a sensational act. | 0:23:24 | 0:23:28 | |
Needless to say, don't ever | 0:23:28 | 0:23:30 | |
try anything like that, but they were great. | 0:23:30 | 0:23:34 | |
Should they go free? | 0:23:34 | 0:23:35 | |
They could escape free any time. | 0:23:35 | 0:23:38 | |
The escapology of Ali Cook. But was it water world or waterworks? | 0:23:38 | 0:23:43 | |
I couldn't do that. | 0:23:43 | 0:23:45 | |
Don't panic, sir, calm down, speak nice and clearly. | 0:23:45 | 0:23:49 | |
-I could not do that. -I wouldn't want you to, sir. | 0:23:49 | 0:23:52 | |
-Is that your type of act? -Yeah, it was weird, but amazing. | 0:23:52 | 0:23:56 | |
And the most amazing part? | 0:23:56 | 0:23:58 | |
When the man and woman swapped in such a short time. | 0:23:58 | 0:24:01 | |
-That was incredible. -Young sir? | 0:24:01 | 0:24:03 | |
It was incredible because I was so scared how that happened | 0:24:03 | 0:24:08 | |
and if they got stuck, and I had no idea how they did it. | 0:24:08 | 0:24:12 | |
-But did you enjoy the act? -Yes. | 0:24:12 | 0:24:14 | |
-Do you think they'd be worthy winners, today? -Probably. | 0:24:14 | 0:24:19 | |
OK, this young lady here, with a lovely flower in your hair. | 0:24:19 | 0:24:23 | |
That was astonishing. I thought they would get stuck, otherwise... | 0:24:23 | 0:24:27 | |
Did it make you nervous? | 0:24:27 | 0:24:29 | |
Yeah, look at that face. Ooh, that's nervous! | 0:24:29 | 0:24:33 | |
Finally, sum that act up for me. | 0:24:33 | 0:24:35 | |
-Astonishing. -Astonishing. | 0:24:35 | 0:24:37 | |
Well, four fabulous performing prisoner acts, | 0:24:37 | 0:24:41 | |
only one can go free. | 0:24:41 | 0:24:43 | |
Let's welcome them back on to the stage. Come on down. | 0:24:43 | 0:24:46 | |
Ah, Les Philips. YrWall. The Masters Of Dance. | 0:24:48 | 0:24:53 | |
And, of course, Ali Cook and his company. Well, there they are. | 0:24:53 | 0:24:57 | |
You decide who goes free with the Clap-o-meter. | 0:24:57 | 0:25:01 | |
The more noise, the higher the score. | 0:25:01 | 0:25:04 | |
So, please, make lots of noise for Les Philips. | 0:25:04 | 0:25:07 | |
76.7, not bad, lads, not bad. Let's see... | 0:25:13 | 0:25:17 | |
The next act, never seen an act like this before. | 0:25:17 | 0:25:21 | |
Let's hear it, please, for YrWall. | 0:25:21 | 0:25:24 | |
That's a good score. 90 is a very good score on the Clap-o-meter. | 0:25:30 | 0:25:35 | |
Next up, with a gremlin, did you like them? | 0:25:35 | 0:25:38 | |
It's the Masters Of Dance. | 0:25:38 | 0:25:40 | |
Woah. Into the lead, 91, it's the Masters Of Dance. | 0:25:48 | 0:25:53 | |
Only one act could beat Masters Of Dance, it is Ali Cook. | 0:25:53 | 0:25:58 | |
It's a good score. 76.7 - not enough. Going free, | 0:26:04 | 0:26:07 | |
just ahead of YrWall, it's Masters Of Dance! | 0:26:07 | 0:26:10 | |
Go, go, go! | 0:26:13 | 0:26:15 | |
The bad news is, you haven't gone free, but the good news is, | 0:26:18 | 0:26:22 | |
and you'll enjoy this, you stay in time for tea. | 0:26:22 | 0:26:25 | |
-Mr Burgess, what's for tea? -Well, I couldn't possibly say, sir. -What? | 0:26:25 | 0:26:30 | |
-I couldn't tell you what's for tea. -It could be different. | 0:26:30 | 0:26:34 | |
-What is it? -Pinocchio can tell you. | 0:26:34 | 0:26:36 | |
-Sloppy, ploppy porridge, sir. -Oh, no. | 0:26:36 | 0:26:40 | |
Take them to the cells. Off you go. | 0:26:40 | 0:26:42 | |
Give them a round of applause. | 0:26:42 | 0:26:46 | |
That's it for another Freedom Show. | 0:26:46 | 0:26:49 | |
And if you can't sing, dance or rhyme... | 0:26:49 | 0:26:51 | |
-CROWD: -Don't do the crime. | 0:26:51 | 0:26:54 | |
Take care, everyone, give yourselves a round of applause. | 0:26:54 | 0:26:58 | |
Bye-bye, everybody. Bye-bye | 0:26:58 | 0:27:01 | |
# It's the only way You'll ever leave The Slammer. # | 0:27:05 | 0:27:09 | |
-Well, Peter. Today's chaos has completely worn me out. -Yeah! | 0:27:11 | 0:27:16 | |
-I'm sorry, Guv. -Sometimes, I wish there was more than just one of me. | 0:27:16 | 0:27:22 | |
I'm off to bed. Night-night. | 0:27:22 | 0:27:25 | |
'I wish there was more than just one of me.' | 0:27:27 | 0:27:31 | |
Extra Governors coming up. | 0:27:31 | 0:27:33 | |
Ta-ra! | 0:27:39 | 0:27:41 | |
-TOGETHER: -Now what? | 0:27:43 | 0:27:45 |