Life Is A Cabaret/Temper, Temper The Story of Tracy Beaker

# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see me through

-# It doesn't matter What may come my way...

-No! No!

# Believe me now I will win some day. #

SCREAMING ON TV

Come on, Tracy. It's bedtime.

-I just want to watch the end of this.

-No, it's late.

And these'll give you nightmares.

Better not go to bed, then.

-You'll be like a zombie at school tomorrow.

-Nag, nag, nag, nag...

-Cam!

-I mean it. We need to set a few basic rules.

Rules?! I don't need rules. Rules are the last thing I need

after a lifetime at the Dumping Ground.

I need humungous doses of tender loving care, but what do I get?

A constant ear-bashing from the Cheesy Puff Police.

Tracy, you are going to bed now and that's final!

You don't want a foster daughter,

you just want someone to boss around.

Well, that's not me and I'm not changing.

Maybe you should be the one to change.

For a change!

Goodnight!

CAM SIGHS

BIRDS TWITTER CLOCK TICKS

# It's time It's time

# It's time to rise and shine

# It's time It's time

# It's time to rise and shine

# Time to rise Time to shine

# Yeah, yeah It's rise and shine

-# Time to rise

-Time to scrub you manky face

-# Comb your frizzy hair

-Rise and shine

# It's time to smile a cheesy smile That we can all share

# It's time, it's time It's time to rise and shine

# It's time, it's time It's time to rise and shine... #

Either I'm dreaming

or something very strange and horrible is going on here.

-ALL: You're dreaming, Tracy.

-Of course, you're dreaming.

-Dreaming!

-So, come on, breakfast time.

OTHERS: Breakfast time. # It's time, it's time

# It's time, it's breakfast time...

-# Breakfast time...

-It's time, it's breakfast time

# It's time, it's breakfast time... #

All right!

I get the idea. You don't have to break into song every five seconds.

And I may be dreaming, but I'm still Tracy Beaker

and nobody pushes me around.

# Nobody, but nobody

# Pushes me around

Nobody, but nobody

# Pushes me around

# Cos I am the big girl The one and only big girl

# Celebrated, understated, breathtaking

# Sensation-making, wonder-working

# Fabulous, tremendous but unpretentious Beaker!

# And nobody, but nobody

# Pushes me around. #

Lol, Bouncer, my office now!

-Yes, boss.

-Miss Beaker is back.

Tracy Beaker?! What's she doing here?

This is a dream, you idiot!

What a shame! In a short while,

she'll be a shadow of her former self.

You will assist me by breaking her spirit, ready for bottling.

-Leave her to us, boss.

-Yeah. We'll sort it, won't we, bruv?

# We are the heavy lads

# Loads of muscle Full of charm

# We'll sort you, but pay us quick or you'll come to harm

# Yeah, pay us quick or you'll come to harm

# So bring on the heavy lads We're the ones you need to call

# Bring on the heavy lads

# Satisfaction guaranteed No job too small. #

You're not going to eat that mess, are you?

-It's very nice.

-We simply couldn't wish for a better breakfast.

# Lovely, bubbly porridge!

# Lovely, bubbly porridge!

# It smells so good Tasty and appealing

# Eat it hot or cold and congealing

# Any way you want to take it

# Roast it, boil it Grill or bake it

# Chew it up and swallow it down

# Don't you grimace and don't you frown... #

Don't you frown.

# Cos it's lovely, bubbly porridge! #

Crash! I don't believe you.

Aren't you going to smash a bowl or kick over a chair?

Losing my temper would be a very silly response

to a completely justified action by elders and betters.

But they can't treat you like this!

Hey, you. Yes, you with the frizzy hair.

Frizzy hair?! Crash, watch and learn.

'Miss Beaker, this deviant behaviour will not go unpunished.'

# So bring on the heavy lads We're the ones you need to call

-# Bring on the heavy lads... #

-Ugh!

-Get to work on this lot.

-Yeah. Wash and scrub until you drop.

Hang on, you can't make me do anything I don't want to do.

Oh, no? Bouncer, tell her one of your jokes.

Oh, no. Are they as bad as they are in real life?

-Worse.

-Right, so there's a little squirrel...

-Yeah.

-..or was it a worm?

-Er...

-He was on his way home back to his nest.

Or was he going up a telephone mast? Maybe it was just a big stick.

-Yeah.

-La-la-la-la...

-'Enough frivolity.

'You have failed to break her spirit. Bring her to me.'

Straight away, boss.

Ow! Oh! Oh!

-Get off me!

-'All Dumping Ground inmates

'will now begin their chores. I repeat,

'all Dumping Ground inmates will now begin their chores.

'There will be no slacking. I repeat, there will be no slacking.'

Oh!

Ah, Miss Beaker, how nice of you to drop in.

Cam?! Wha...?

Silence! I think it's time

you were acquainted with the rules of this establishment.

What rules?

# You will obey my every command

# You will not say no to any demand

# These are the rules of my establishment

# They're not to be broken, twisted or bent.

-# So...no treats

-No treats

-# No sweets

-No sweets

-# No chatter

-No chatter

-# No clatter

-No clatter

-# No telly

-No telly

-# No jelly

-No jelly

-# No fun

-No fun

-# No sun

-No sun

# No fights and definitely

-# No

-No

# Late nights. #

No! What's happened to everyone? Where's Crash's temper

and Jackie and everyone? They've lost their spark.

And the Wellards? What have you done to the Wellards?

Impressive, isn't it? Very soon, Miss Beaker,

all will become as clear as crystal.

In a short while, you will be normalised.

Your rebellious spirit will be removed and placed in this bottle.

You will think and behave exactly like all the other children here.

In brief, you will be totally in my power.

You'll never succeed! You'll never change me! Never!

Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

'There is no escape from this nightmare. It only gets worse.

'Now, I shall launch my deadliest weapon yet.'

Elaine, is that you?

I'm your fairy godmother.

Great. You've got to get me out of here quick.

Oh, no. I'm just here to magic you that special dress,

so you can go to the ball.

What ball?! I just want to get out of this madhouse,

before I get normalised.

But, Tracy, you'd be so much happier

if you just lost that nasty rough sparkiness

and behaved like a nice, normal girlie.

TINKLING

# Every girl deserves a pretty pink dress

# Anything less would fail to impress

# You'll be a stunner

# At any function The belle of the ball

# At every posh luncheon

# A pretty pink dress

# Is top of the list

# So take my advice

# I so insist I so insist

# I so insist I so INSIST! #

Elaine, some things never change. Even in a dream, you're a pain.

-'That was pathetic, Elaine!'

-Sorry, boss.

Come on, you lot. Let's get out of this place.

Out? What do you mean, out?

We have our chores to complete.

If we don't, the boss will break our spirit bottles.

Crash, she can't bottle your spirits.

Don't you remember how you used to be?

-Roxy, you were evil.

-Me, evil?!

Don't let her win. You're Dumping Ground kids, remember?

# Every Dumping Ground kid

# Has got to be bad

# We got to stick together

# So we don't go mad

# Every Dumping Ground kid's got to fight to survive

# Every Dumping Ground kid's got to fight to survive

# So we'll rise above our troubles and stay alive!

# Every Dumping Ground kid's got to fight to survive

# Every Dumping Ground kid has got to be bad

# Every Dumping Ground kid's got to fight to... #

What do you think you're all doing?

-We're leaving.

-Oh, really?

Then we might have to have an unfortunate accident

with these bottles.

-KIDS: No!

-We might trip

by an open window and accidentally fling them out.

KIDS: No!

You see?

They're not going anywhere. They have been normalised.

And now, Miss Beaker, it's your turn.

A-a-argh!

Tracy, are you all right?

Um, just had a bit of a bad dream.

Oh!

Poor thing.

-You were in it.

-Me?!

They wanted to normalise me.

-What?

-Make me good.

Turn me into just another kid.

I want Tracy Beaker. I love you how you are.

I love you good. I love you bad. And nothing is gonna change that.

I like you. I know you.

-Come on. Get to sleep.

-Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Oh, promise one thing, though.

Don't ever become a care worker, OK?

Night-night.

A-a-argh!

You've done Goldilocks. You've seen Cinderella,

but there's no-one quite like Beaker!

Rio, where are you? I saw your face!

Rio!

Rio, where are you?

Rio! Show your face.

Where's Rio?

-Where's my painting?

-Let go of me.

-Crash, get off him.

-Rio!

-Let me at him!

-Crash! Crash!

Hey, hey, hey! What's going on?

-He started it.

-He nicked my painting.

-Did not.

-Liar.

Crash, Crash, you can't go round accusing people without proof.

Cool down.

Temper, temper.

I'm not scared of you. So, watch it.

I said that's enough, Crash.

-But, Sid...

-No buts.

I've got enough on my plate today with these cameras.

Duke's not gonna be around. I could do without any extra aggro from you.

-What do you we need cameras for?

-Er, because I don't have eyes

in the back of my head.

But, Sid, this is an invasion of privacy.

Look, it's just till we get new staff.

I don't like it any more than you do.

If he wants to spy on us,

-we'll give him something really good to see.

-Yeah.

This is war!

They're just trying to make you angry.

They won't get away with it this time.

I'm not going to let you fight them.

I could have had him if Sid hadn't turned up.

Forget it. We're moving on to phase two.

-What's phase two?

-Dunno yet, but it's got to be good.

Yeah. Once Crash falls, all the other kids will follow.

And I'll rule this place.

You've got to be cleverer than that. In martial arts, you have to use

-your opponent's aggression against them.

-What?

I bet I can make him really lose it.

Just keep Sid out of the way

and let these do the talking.

Let me go.

I think we can be a bit cleverer than that.

Mmm. He's always sticking up for Jackie

and the other muppets in this place.

Yeah. So if we get at them... OTHERS: Then we get at him.

'All we got to do is wind him up and wind him up till he explodes.'

They want you to get angry, but what if you just smile and ignore it?

That's stupid. They'll think they've beaten me.

No, they won't. They won't have a clue what's going on.

Oh, what now?

So, what's going on?

We thought you might have trouble spying on us in our bedrooms,

so we came out here, so you can see us all the time.

See, I had trouble picking what shirt to wear.

And I'm writing in my diary.

Is it clear if I hold it up?

Like that? What do you reckon?

OK.

-Is that everything?

-Ready.

Shaving foam on treacle tart. Yuk!

-They won't know what hit 'em.

-Yeah.

Oh, it's disgusting!

What? Mine's delicious.

Mine, too.

-Yeah?

-Crash.

Nothing.

You're pathetic.

Enjoy your desserts!

Why did you let them speak to you like that?

-It's all part of our new plan.

-We're gonna kill the Wellards.

With kindness.

We're gonna kill 'em with kindness.

-Do I even smile if they take my moon rock?

-Yes.

-Destroy my invisibility helmet?

-Yes!

Smash my alien's transmitter? BOTH: Yes!

OK.

Mmm. Yummy!

-OTHERS: Ugh!

-That's disgusting!

-Grr!

-What?

-My favourite top's gone.

I bet I know who's got it.

They've been through my things!

-Jackie...

-How dare they touch my stuff!

I'm not gonna let you fight them. That's what they want.

Right, let's see if this plan really does work.

-You've got my jumper.

-Yeah? So what?

Nothing. I just noticed your skirt this morning and I thought

it would go really well with that top. I was going to lend it to you.

-What?

-I'm glad you took it. See you later. Suits you.

Hi, Roxy. Hi, Rio.

-What does she want?

-Weird.

I just nicked her favourite top and she couldn't care less.

Maybe she doesn't want it any more.

Whatever. We could bring them down with the next stage of the plan.

Let me do the shoe thing! Let me! Let me! Let me! Please!

Shoe thing! Shoe thing! Shoe thing!

PLEA-EA-EA-SE!

All right, then.

Yes!

Battle stations.

Finished!

Eugh, get away from me.

Now what?

Well, um...

-They put their shoes on?

-How do you plan to make that happen?

We can't afford any more slip-ups.

Leave it to me.

Crash!

-Your painting was out in the garden.

-It must have blown there.

-See? It had nothing to do with us.

-Thanks.

SQUELCH!

Oh, I'm not putting my feet in those!

What's so funny?

What? Can't you smell anything?

Yes. Strawberries, with a hint of rose.

What's wrong with you lot? We put dog poo in your shoes.

Yeah, good joke.

Oh, look at them!

They were my clean shoes.

I didn't put my shoes on.

Aaargh!

That's how you wind them up - not put poo in their shoes!

What is going on here today?

What do you think you're doing?

Hi, Sid, we're just having... a sleep-out.

Oi, chuck us my other pillow. Roxy, are you sleeping out here, too?

-Let's build a camp.

-Actually, I don't care what's going on.

I just want you to pick this stuff up and put it back in the house.

Now!

-Hi, everyone. What's going on?

-I'll tell you later.

Crash, recognise this?

THEY SCREAM

Aaargh!

Cool! Let's paint the garden!

Coward! can't even stand up to me! Get it from your dad?

I don't know. They say I've got his eyes.

Crash! I can't leave you alone for two minutes.

You're letting them walk all over you.

I know it's hard without me, but I thought I'd trained you up

-to deal with them.

-It's a plan.

What, the "let's roll over and die" plan(?)

The "be nice to them whatever they do, until they go mad" plan.

Tell me more.

TALKING THROUGH MEGAPHONE >

Do you want a chocolate now or in ten minutes?

Oh, hi, Sid. I didn't see you there, spying on us.

Can we sort another camera out here?

And the loudhailers?

So you can hear everything we're thinking.

I'm thinking, I've got an itch on my leg.

I'm deciding, shall I scratch it?

I was thinking, "Will I have a chocolate now or later?"

La-la-la-la!

I'm not listening.

Bye, Sid!

La-la-la-la-la!

The cameras are staying.

-So, is everyone clear?

-Yes.

You take care of Chantal, me and the others will handle Roxy and Rio.

-Checking the painting room was a stroke of genius.

-Yeah.

Good one, Rox.

Why was it genius?

Because they have to wash their faces...

-Yes, and this stuff is a nightmare to get off.

-Mm-mm!

KNOCK AT THE DOOR

I think we're the same size. Yours are a bit worn out.

It's bad for your feet to wear old trainers.

-Right...

-They're probably not your style,

but you can borrow them until you save up for some really cool ones.

-See you later.

-OK, OK, what's going on?

-Nothing. I just...

-Why are you being nice to me?

Everyone should have someone who's nice to them.

Even Wellards.

'She was totally freaked out.'

I'm going to really lay it on big with this.

Chantal, do you want some chocolate?

Ha-ha!

Your faces are bright red!

Well, I think it looks good. Like I've caught the sun a bit.

Caught the sun? We put shaving foam in your food,

dog poo in your shoes... WHY don't you fight back?

-Er...

-Right,

-the three of you are on washing-up duties for a fortnight.

-Sid...

It was just a bit of a laugh, you know.

You haven't heard what we did.

We...gave as good as we got.

Didn't we?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Fine.

The less I know about this, the better.

What now?!

Can't you see we're cleaning it up?

Turn that off.

Excuse me! I'm just trying to have my shower in peace.

There's no cameras in the bathroom.

So you brought the bathroom down here.

I get it. Can we stop this, please?

Maybe if there weren't any cameras,

-we'd probably think about coming back inside.

-Maybe.

# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see my through

-# And the fight won't get me down

-No! No!

# My dreams will turn things all around

# With a smile upon my face I can see a better place

-# It doesn't matter what may come my way...

-No! No!

# Believe me now

# I will win some day. #