Diego's Castle Trust Me I'm a Genie

I was hit by a can. Opened it, and out popped a genie.

# Three wishes set me free

# Trust me, I'm a genie

# Wish one...and on that first day

# I got my very own cafe, taa-daa!

# Wish two, that was cool,

# I got my own swimming pool, he-he

# But then I dropped the magic can

# It filled with sand And the works got jammed

# Wish three, total catastrophe

# The genie raved and ranted but no third wish was granted

# If one more wish comes true

# Then I'll be free from you

# Trust me, I'm a genie. #

Where are we off to, where are we going?

ALL SING: # In a lovely castle, just for us.

# La-la-la. #

Are you ever going to be quiet?

Even with all this on I can still here your ear bending sounds.

-# La-la-la. #

-Tell me we're nearly there?

'Straight ahead for 500kms.'

There must be a shortcut, what does this do?

-'Extreme load activated. Head sharp right.'

-Excellent choice, man.

-Fasten your triple seat belts.

-ALL SCREAM

'At the roundabout take the dirt track

'leading to the exploding tomato field.'

Way cool, man, way cool.

'You have reached your destination.'

# The castle, the castle... It's... #

..not here. Where is this 38 star castle?

-The water beds?

-The dojo?

The rollercoasters in every bedroom?

What in the world have you booked?

There must have been some sort of a mistake, the satnav got it wrong.

Oh, you ninny, it was the reservation number nine,

not number six.

Looks like you've booked us the rustic caravan.

So, we invested all our savings in this dump?

Hang on, I'm sure this caravan is ace. Ooh.

At least the weather's on our side.

Ooh.

-Ooh.

-Daa.

Ooh.

Ah, anybody able to unstick me?

-Diego, our holidays are ruined.

-ALL: And it's all your fault.

Diego, this is an unfortunate disaster.

Luckily you have a genie close at hand that can solve all your worries

-with one little wish.

-You sure?

-Yep, he's sure.

-We want our castle.

I'm the one who sells wishes here. Here's how it goes.

Either your friends never forgive you

or you get a private castle by using your last wish.

Just imagine.

OK, OK, Ziggy, I wish for a luxury castle.

No problemo. I call upon the powers that be to grant this wish

and set me free.

-What a useless genie. I'm going to bed.

-Uh-uh.

FROG CROAKS

-Uh-uh.

-FROG CROAKS

Wahh.

You've thrown your wish away.

Didn't you notice that the frog was wearing a crown on its head?

-Must be a princess under a wicked spell.

-A princess?

Yeah, if you want your wish to come true you just need to kiss her.

Then you marry her and live in a castle.

-No way, sorry, mate, I don't kiss frogs.

-Think of the castle, Diego.

Besides, I'm sure she's cool. I'll go look for her.

Let me introduce...oh, er...sorry, I didn't catch your name.

The transmorphing must have blown some brain cells.

-This is typical in bewitching cases.

-Did you here that, Diego?

Poor princess, kiss her. Help her get back to normal.

That's what Captain Justice would do.

You're right. Princess, prepare to be kissed. I'm coming.

Don't be shy, everything's going to be fine.

Well, that wasn't too bad for a first try. Onto plan B now.

So, to sum things up, we're dealing with a princess under a spell

who's convinced that she's a frog.

If we want Diego to kiss her, he'll need to entice her

and to entice her he has to speak froggy language.

Now, repeat after me. A - ribitt, B - rib-bit, C - ribitt.

ALL: Ribitt.

OK, Diego, you're ready.

After all, froggy is only the 9,876th easiest language

to learn in the world.

Diego, there she is.

Go up to her and say, "Hello, my name is Diego

"and I think you're extremely beautiful", in froggy.

Ribitt, ribitt, ribitt.

That was really rude, Diego, I can't believe you just said that.

-What do you mean?

-Hi, guys, Rib, ribbit, rib, rib.

Oh, absolutely, I couldn't agree with you more, Tony.

W-w-what did you say?

Don't worry, Diego, I got Plan C waiting for you. It can't fail.

Here's the plan. Creep up on her, tap her on the shoulder

and as soon as she turns around, give her a surprise kiss.

SIREN WAILS Ooh.

Ohh. Help!

-You got the camera?

-I never forget it, bruv.

No, don't do that.

Yeah, go on, enjoy yourselves. I'm just a good for nothing,

who can't even kiss a frog.

Oh, look, I think she's coming to apologise.

Excellent karma, Diego.

ALL: The Castle.

Freedom...here I come.

This frog princess is starting to seriously get on my nerves.

Luckily, plan B should get us out of this mess.

Psst. Over here.

-Ribitt.

-You look very tense,

how about a nice relaxing free massage

before another game of fly hunting?

Nobody can resist a good old free massage.

Perfect. Now, press on the fifth vertebra,

starting from the three-quarter left.

It's the love vertebra. It should make her fall in love instantly.

Three quarter...left...erm.

I think he touched the third vertebra

from the fifth quarter left. Ooh.

Now, what do we do? Plan E.

Good, keep going.

Why am I surrounded by incompetents?

If it's insects you want, that's what you'll get.

I promise that tonight we'll be sleeping in the castle.

Come on, hurry up, action.

It's perfect.

Captain Diego, please take a seat.

Remember to embrace the insect within you, Diego.

Aah. Ow. Ohh.

Ziggy, is this normal?

Ziggy, Larry, Zazie, anyone. Get me out of here.

She wants to put me in a sandwich.

-This is terrible, she's going to eat Diego.

-I baggsy the cafe.

-I baggsy the pool.

-Shame on you, let's share everything three ways.

Count me in.

Ohh! I'm a-coming, Diego,

hold on.

No, I'm a can. I'm aluminium, I'm extremely hard to digest.

Wah-ohh. Mayday, mayday! SOS! Help! Wah.

Wow, unbelievable.

Princess is a dude, man.

Did it work?

What have you done to me? I've become a hairy, lumpy creature.

And my tongue, where's my lovely...ribbit,

-long sticky tongue?

-Diego saved you from a terrible situation.

Saved, are you completely nuts?

I'm the prince of frogs, ribbit,

and now all I look like is a repulsive, disgusting camel.

What is this, a joke? You're kidding, right? Where's your castle?

My castle, I have many castles. Every swamp is my castle.

-Ribbit, ribbit.

-Well, this is unexpected.

I want to be like before, immediately.

Which one of you do I have to kiss? Ribbit.

No way, out of the question, no way, no.

It doesn't exactly thrill me either, camel face. Believe me.

Come back, the sooner we do it, the sooner it will be over. Ribbit.

Why are you laughing? The wish has failed,

you'll never get your castle.

Never mind, man, whenever we're with Diego

we know we're going to have a laugh.

And that's worth all the castles in the world.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd.

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