Episode 8 Ultimate Brain

Ah!

'How can the guinea pig catch a thousand flying balls?'

Which of these is the quickest route to the bottom?

'And will DNN win a PHD, OMG, LOL.

'You'll need to run your mind at full power to be the...'

Welcome to Ultimate Brain.

Where only the strongest, the fittest,

the most agile brains can survive, and it's my job to find them.

Yes, my name is Dr Brain.

Now, I've had a letter from nine different people saying,

"Dear Dr Brain, our brains are so fat

"they can't even get into a normal sized toilet."

I don't even know what that means!

Let's find out who they are. Beginning with the Green Team.

Our first team are Amy, Matt and Lottie,

calling themselves Team Think Green.

Will they be brainy enough to save the planet,

or should they be recycled and chucked in the bin?

So, Dr Amy, being a monkey, I'd like to ask you, do you like animals?

-Yes.

-Do you have any pets?

-Yes.

-How many?

16.

That's a zoo!

-So, Dr Matt, play any sports?

-Erm, yeah.

-What do you play?

-Football and basketball.

-Football and basketball? Do you play football?

-Yep.

-What position?

-Goal keeper.

Goal keeper? Safe hands, would you say you've got safe hands?

-Yeah, I'd say so.

-Lovely.

There we go, team Think Green.

Next up it's the yellow team Leo, Fidhal and Sergio.

They've chosen a rather unusual team name.

How you doing, fellas? What's your team name?

-ALL:

-Yellow Atomic Dugongs

What's a 'dugong'?

-It's a sea cow.

-It's a sea cow?

-Yeah.

Dr Sergio, I hear you speak a little bit of Spanish?

-I'm fluent.

-You're fluent? Ah...

Is that perhaps because you are a little bit Spanish?

-Yeah.

-I thought so with a name like Sergio.

-So, what's 'Ultimate Brain' in Spanish?

-'Super Cerebro'.

Ah! He's quick. I like that.

I like that a little bit of exotic language there.

We do everything on this show, folks.

Well, best of luck to you,

the Yellow Atomic Dulangalangalanglongs...

There they are, the Yellows!

Finally, our Blue team are from the CBBC comedy news show

DNN - Sam, Kellie-Ann and Marvin.

Will they get a good report at the end of this show?

-How are you, Blues?

-Great!

-Thank you, how are you?

-Very well, thank you.

Now, of course, we know you from that fabulous show DNN.

-Thanks.

-Very good show. Love it!

Dr Kellie-Ann, where you from, Kellie-Ann?

I'm from London, but I'm originally from New Jersey.

-IN NEW JERSEY ACCENT:

-New Jersey. Hey, I'm from New Jersey, too.

-Very good accent!

-You know, eh? Hey, thanks.

-You know, erm, Tony Spinolly and Mickey de Monk?

-That's my dad!

-Hey, that's your dad.

-It is!

-Yeah.

-Hey, we should go out, get a bowl of spaghetti sometime.

-I'd love that.

-NORMAL VOICE:

-Yeah. So, how long you been over here, then?

-Been over here seven years.

-Seven years.

-Yes.

-Do you like it?

-I love it.

What's your favourite thing about dear, old Blighty?

The British charm, maybe.

Oh, of course, my favourite thing is the DNN crew. Of course!

-HE SINGS:

-Friends. Friends.

-That's coincidence, isn't it?

-Friends.

Dr Sam, are you going to win today?

-Yes.

-Well, we'll find out, as we play the first round.

So, there we go, folks. Those are the teams.

All you've got to do is impress me, be witty, be sharp, be clever

and get those Honour Points and you may be Ultimate Brain.

But above all, do your blinkin' best, do you know what I mean?

Is your brain switched on?

Let's start with a question.

So, teams, get a load of this.

So, what do we have here?

We have 4 tracks of slightly different shapes.

And what I'm going to do is ask you,

which track you think is the fastest?

What's going to happen is I'm going to place this little car,

driven by Dave the Ant... You're all right, Dave?

Yeah, I'm all right, getting a little bit hot.

And he's going to drive down each track

into the container there at the bottom.

We're going to record the times.

So, now using your brains and your intelligence,

you're going to decide which of these tracks is the fastest!

Is it A...?

B...?

C...?

Or D...?

This one might not be as easy as it looks.

Which track uses gravity the most effectively?

You ready? Get thinking... Now.

I'm sure you're smiling to yourself at home

because you, like me, are 'super cerebro',

but are you absolutely sure?

OK teams, your thinking time stops now!

Time to reveal your answers.

It's a split decision.

The Yellows and the Blues have gone for C, track C,

but the Greens opting for D, track D.

So, because you're the odd ones out, Greens, I'm going to ask you first.

Why D?

Because, erm, D gains the most momentum

cos it's got the steepest drop.

-Ahh...

-So, we think that...

..but surely, has it got the longest straight bit, so will it slow down?

Well, we'll find out, won't we, I suppose. Now, we've got two C's.

I'm going to ask the Blues first. Why C?

A similar reason to start with.

The momentum it will gain very early on,

but there's not the levelling off on C, Dr Brain, you see?

OK. Yellows, why C?

We picked C because pretty much the same reason as them.

We think the mo... Like keep going at the same speed,

like, and probably get a bit faster,

-but we didn't pick D...

-It doesn't level off.

..because D levels off at the end,

so that's what we think we shouldn't pick D.

And we're thinking maybe B, but it would take quite a while to speed up

cos it's not that steep and it's just quite level so...

So, what's going to happen? Let's see!

Here we go with track A. Ready, folks.

3, 2, 1, go!

CAR SCREECHES AND CRASHES

1.08 seconds. Ooh, well done, A.

Track B. 3, 2, 1, go!

CAR SCREECHES AND CRASHES

0.96 of a second. Oh, B's in the lead!

The all-important and popular C.

3, 2, 1.

CAR SCREECHES AND CRASHES

0.83 of a second. Whoo hoo!

-Ooh!

-Ooh!

D. 3, 2, 1, go!

CAR SCREECHES AND CRASHES

Ooh. 0.88 of a second!

So, the answer is...

C!

Track C did it in the fastest time of 0.83 of a second!

The curve of track C is called an inverted cycloid.

It's a curve traced on the point of a rim of a wheel

as it rolls along a straight line.

It is the curve of fastest descent under gravity

for exactly the reasons that the teams gave!

Which means the Blues and the Yellows, ten Honour Points each!

Well done to them. Now let's see what happens in the next round.

Challenge number 2.

A test of our teams' creativity.

Time now to use a different part of the brain.

Behold!

So, imagine you're standing in a wind tunnel,

-300 coloured balls flying at you...

-KARATE CHOP GRUNTS

How can you create a device to help you catch as many balls as you can?

Well, we gave our teams three days

and a massive budget of £50 Earth

to come up with their answers.

But who will be our ball catcher for the day?

MUSIC: "Firework" by Katy Perry plays

It's my good friend, the guinea pig!

What monkey brain idea have you got this time?

Well, what I've got is a massive wind machine

and loads and loads of really, really hard balls to chuck at you.

Ugh. That looks like that's going to hurt!

Yes, but you love being hurt, don't you?

So, time now to find out what happens when you don't have a plan.

It's the no plan, plan. Get on with it.

This wind machine is capable of creating 25 metre per second winds.

Imagine the carnage if we tipped a sack load of balls

in front of it and threw them at the poor old guinea pig?

How can he catch as many as possible in just 60 seconds?

-Are we ready?

-ALL: Yeah!

Lets count him in. Three, Two, One.

Hit him with balls!

Catch a ball. Just catch it in your hand!

So, how many did you get, Guinea Pig?

-Three.

-Three?

So, that's what happens when you don't have a plan.

Now, let's find out what happens when you do.

Yes! Now, it's the turn of team Think Green.

Team Think Green are Amy, Matt and Lottie from Bristol.

Amy once attached an elastic band to a can

and started to strum it, she called it the 'canjo'.

Yeehaw! Nice!

So, team Think Green, this is your plan.

Tell me, Dr Lottie, what's it called?

It's called, erm, Operation Hula Catcher.

Operation Hula Catcher? And what does it entail?

The human Guinea Pig has to hold up the hula hoops

whilst the balls come flying towards him and they're quite light,

so he can move them about and try to catch

as many of the balls as possible.

Ah, now, what is the scientific principle behind these nets, then?

Is it just about surface area or...?

It's about, like, surface area because of the size,

so it's like a bigger surface area to catch as many balls.

The nets are just there to catch at the bottom,

so the balls don't fly through. So, they're caught not just in the bag.

I see, well, let's see if it works!

Go on, Guinea Pig, get on with it!

Operation Hula Catcher.

Two hula hoops, one for each hand,

with fishing nets attached. What could be simpler?

Will this be the best idea of them all?

Let's Hula!

Three, two, one.

Start the wind!

Keep going!

Come on!

Guinea Pig, Guinea Pig, Guinea Pig! Come on!

Keep going!

GONG TOLLS

There we go. So, that's all of the balls. Oh, look at that!

-Are you pleased with it?

-ALL: Yeah!

Yes, worked pretty well. didn't it?

The Green team seem rather pleased with their haul, will it be enough?

Nice one! Let's count them up!

The Yellow Atomic Dugong.

A Dugong is marine mammal often referred to as a sea cow.

Will the team get a pat on the back for their solution?

'Pat' do you get it? Ha-ha!

So, it's the plan of the Yellow Atomic Dugongs. What's it called?

It's called Operation Dugongatron.

So, what does it actually entail?

You've stolen a giant shuttlecock and then what else?

Erm, it's pretty much got a net at the back,

so all the balls can go into it and it's a funnel shape,

so all of the balls will be pushed into the net.

-Now are you worried about the weight of it?

-Maybe the manoeuvrability,

-but...

-Manoeuvrability.

-Yes, yes, that could be a problem, do you think?

-ALL: Yeah.

Not for you, but for me it will be. It's massive. Look.

It's so big I could catch all three of you inside this.

It is pretty big, I have to admit. Hey, look, it works!

-I win!

-Hooray!

Well done, the guinea pig.

Well then. Well, we know that it's big,

but don't forget he's pretty weak.

He might be... He's weak and stupid,

so not only might he not be able to lift it,

he might put it in the wrong direction.

-Are you worried about that?

-No.

NO! Good! Have confidence, have faith in your plan.

I don't have any faith in you.

Get on with it, go on!

It's time to see the plan in action!

So, this team hope their large mouthed funnel and net device

will help the guinea pig catch the maximum number of balls

in 60 seconds. Time to put it to the test!

Three, two, one. Start the wind!

Go, go, go! Hold it up!

Hold it up, hold it up.

Come on! Hold it up!

Hold it up! Come on.

-Hold it up.

-Hold it up.

-Hold it UP!

-Hold it up!

-Higher.

-Ooh!

-GONG TOLLS

Oh, look. He's exhausted. You've worn him out.

-Yay!

-Yay!

They've exhausted the poor, old guinea pig

with their large, heavy design. But has it paid off?

So, it looked like it did quite well.

I guess we'll find out when we...

count them up!

The Blue Newshounds, Sam, Kellie-Ann and Martin.

Their show DNN is a comical look at the week's news.

Will they succeed in scooping the most balls? Scooping? Ha-ha!

So, it's the turn of The Blue Newshounds...

HE HUMS: DNN THEME TUNE

And what.... Oh, erm, sorry I don't mean to be animalist about this,

but we don't actually allow dogs in the laboratory.

-Would you mind shuffling along.

-But, I'm the guinea pig.

-He's ours.

-You what?

-I'm the guinea pig.

-We got our licence.

Oh, it's the guinea pig.

Oh, sorry, you looked a bit more intelligent than usual.

So, erm, what's going on here, then?

What's the name of your plan?

Operation Fetch-a-lot.

Fetch-a-lot. Sir Fetch-a-lot. And what is the principle behind it?

-It's all about sticky.

-It's all about sticky?

We went for sticky stuff. We thought the balls might be foam,

but they're not, so it may not work as we thought it was going to.

And we thought that the pool would be bigger, but...

It may work, it may work.

Never assume anything in this game.

So, sticky, sticky substance on both the collar

and on the back of the pool.

-And then we dressed him up as a dog.

-Oh, I see.

Because we had some money left over and we thought...

-And we like onesies.

-I'm not a dog. I'm a guinea pig.

-If I was a dog, I'd be doing this...

-HE GROWLS

That is good. That is good that is good.

Well, you've obviously thought about it a lot,

but it still looks like a load of old nonsense.

If anything else, at least, hopefully, you'll be very hot

and you'll fall over and make me laugh.

-I've got a bone to pick with you.

-ALL: Yay!

Don't get him angry, or he'll be a cross breed. Ha-ha!

Yay!

Let's get on with it. Let's start this thing.

Operation Fetch-a-lot. A sticky dog collar and a paddling pool.

-It may look barking mad...

-HE BARKS

but the large surface area

may catch a large number of the flying balls,

but will they stay put? Stay!

Three, two, one.

Switch on the wind!

MUSIC: "Who Let The Dogs Out" by Baha Men plays

THEY SHOUT INCOHERENTLY

-It stuck!

-Hey!

-Yeah.

GONG TOLLS

Oh, my word. Well, that was fun, wasn't it?

-Ha-ha.

-Yes.

-It was different.

-Do you think it worked, Kellie-Ann?

-£50 well spent.

£50 well spent. I agree there and he...

No, no, no, no. Not the mount!

You've killed my dog!

Another exhausting effort there by man's best friend.

Does his paddling pool runeth over?

How do you think you've done?

-Very well.

-Average.

-Surprisingly.

Against everything that we had, erm,

it's actually done all right, I think.

I think you might be right.

Well, lets see how you did when we...

count them up.

Well, I can now reveal that in 3rd place, with 6 balls,

it was the Yellows.

Unlucky there, the giant shuttlecock routine didn't quite come off.

In second place, with 55 balls

was the Blue Newshounds.

Which means the winners with 67 balls

and ten Honour Points are the Greens!

Well done, how do you feel?

-Amazing.

-Amazing. Awesome.

So, Team Think Green are in the lead with 20 points,

and Yellow Atomic Dugongs

and The Blue Newshounds both have ten points!

This just in, folks.

It's time for the Brainless Challenge!

"We don't stop playing because we grow old,

"we grow old because we stop playing."

George Bernard Shaw.

Yes, it's time to use the silly part of the brain now.

So, teams, you're all dressed up as artists.

Yes, this game is in honour of our team from DNN...

MUSIC: DNN THEME TUNE

..and it's called News Headlines

because they're going to be writing little lines,

otherwise known as letters with their heads.

We will ask the corresponding team-mate to guess the headline.

Are we ready, teams?

So, now, I shall show each team their card.

Don't you peak, don't you peak.

Green Team...

Have you got it?

Yellows...

Got it? Happy?

Blues...

OK, teams, your 30 seconds begins now!

Now remember, teams, no guessing.

GONG TOLLS

That's time up.

Put down your writing heads.

OK, starting with team Think Green.

Dr Matt, tell me, Dr Matt, what do you think of this?

Is it plan b's the one?

BUZZER

I'm afraid it's not quite that,

in that it's not that at all.

So, what was it, Greens?

-BOTH:

-Stolen Painting Found By Tree.

Oh! There we go.

Obvious when you look at it.

So, unlucky there, Greens, no points for that one.

Now it's the turn of the Yellows.

Dr Sergio, you've got a couple of quite clear words there, I think,

haven't you? And then some sort of squiggly, liney things.

Some stripes or something. Have you any idea what it is?

Erm...is it mad cows in action?

-BUZZER

-Oh! Unlucky.

Well, you didn't quite get it, but you got a couple of words

and I liked your creative thinking with trying to make up the rest,

so I'm going to reward you two Honour Points there, Yellows.

-What was it, boys?

-BOTH: Mad Cow Injures Farmer With Bum.

Now then, Dr Marvin, so Dr Marvin, what's your guess going to be?

My guess is Kids Make Nutritious Nibbles For Friends.

-BUZZER

-Are you joking?

No, I'm not joking because I thought there might be more?

Oh, there's going to be trouble here, folks.

We did all the work.

-Blues...

-All you had to do was read it, Marv.

That's it, that's it.

The clue was in the words on the board.

I should have done a full stop at the end.

There's no punctuation.

Ha-ha, yeah, it's quite difficult, that.

How you could have made this game simpler for Dr Marvin?

So, Blues, just to confirm. Put him out of his misery.

-Go on, what was it?

-Well, I can just read it really.

Kids Make Nutritious Nibbles. Full stop.

You've got all of it, and then a bit more.

Which means I have to take some off, which is weird.

I like maths though, so I'm going to award you five Honour Points.

Well done, Blues.

So, things are getting tense.

The Greens have 20 points, the Blue team 15

and trailing in last place, it's the Yellow team with 12 points.

If you thought your brains were tired, try this.

Yes, it's the... Erm... Ha!

Memory game.

So, folks, what's going to happen here

is I'm going to show you a grid containing some objects

and you'll have ten seconds to look at the grid

and try to memorise as many of the objects as possible.

Then, in 15 seconds, tell me as many as you remember.

And the team that remembers the most objects, gets ten Honour Points.

You get it, you got it? Let's do it.

So, Yellow Atomic Dugongs, your 10 seconds looking time starts now!

So, tell me as many objects as you can. Let's begin, Dr Leo.

-Butterfly.

-Glasses.

-Banana.

-Lamp.

-Paint brush.

-Boot.

-Rose.

-Hat.

-Bike.

-Pass.

-Pass.

-Pass.

Wasp.

-Water bottle.

-BUZZER

Tiger...

-GONG TOLLS

-Oh, that's the time up!

So, well done, Yellows. You got 11 out of 12.

The only one you missed was a mobile phone.

So, let's see if the Blues can do any better.

Your time starts now.

OK, Blues, go!

-Deck chair.

-Apple.

-Crab.

-Fork.

-Pig.

-Football.

-Fan.

-Clock.

-Leaf.

-Jug.

-Towel.

-A variety of pencil crayons.

SHE LAUGHS

Erm...a cuddly toy.

GONG TOLLS

So, you got them all! 12 out of 12.

Well done, you Blues.

Now, Greens, you're going to have to equal 12 out of 12, our maximum,

in order to stand a chance of getting ten Honour Points.

-Do you think you can do it?

-ALL: Yeah!

Well, let's see. Your ten seconds starts now!

OK, let's hear it.

Pineapple. BUZZER.

-Shell.

-Ring.

-Lime.

-Watering can.

-Lolly.

-Shoes.

-Squirrel.

-Light bulb.

Tennis. Erm, table tennis bat.

-Pass.

-Aeroplane. Aeroplane.

GONG TOLLS

Oh, there we go, ten out of 12.

Not bad, Greens, nearly there.

Unfortunately, you missed the coin and the car wheel.

Do you remember that now? Oh!

Which means that the Blue Newshounds...

-HE HUMS DNN THEME TUNE

-News flash, they get ten Honour Points.

Well done, you Blues.

Increasing their lead as we go into the final round.

The quick-fire round.

HE MAKES MACHINE GUN NOISES

So, the Blues are in the lead that means, you Greens

and you Yellows, this is your last chance to catch them up.

So, 90 seconds worth of questions,

2 points per correct answer. Are you ready?

Hands on brains.

Here we go!

If it's six o'clock now, what time was it 45 minutes ago?

-5:15.

-Is the right answer.

What planet in the solar system starts with the letter V?

-Venus.

-Correct.

What is the name of the organ that pumps blood around the body?

-Heart.

-Say it again?

-Heart.

Is the right answer.

Name some beginning with B that a caterpillar can change into.

-Butterfly.

-Is right!

What's next in this sequence... zero, three, six, nine?

-12.

-Correct!

If I can run at a speed of ten meters per second,

how long does it take me to run 100m?

-Ten seconds.

-Is right! I'd be exhausted.

What is 20% of 100?

-20.

-Is right.

The fear of what animal is known as 'arachnophobia'?

-Ah.

-Did you press it?

Now, I'm going to offer it over.

-Spiders.

-Is the right answer.

Am I ticklish?

-Yes.

-Let's try it.

Yahoo! Yeah, you're right.

So, what's the name of the invisible line

that runs right around the Earth's middle dividing it into two halves?

-The equator.

-The equator is right.

What is the largest muscle in the human body?

-The gluteus maximus.

-That is right.

Certainly right in my case. Although, I'm not a human.

What is the largest land animal?

-Elephant.

-The elephant is right!

-GONG TOLLS

-There we go.

That's the end of the round and the end of the game.

And the scores are... in 3rd place with 20 points,

it's the Yellow Atomic Dugongs.

-Well done, guys. Did you have fun?

-ALL: Yeah.

-Ah, well done.

In 2nd place... Breaking news, I was just getting a news report...

Yes, it's the Blue Newshounds with 25.

Which means our winners

with a massive 36 points,

Team Think Green.

Well done, come and join me!

Boom, that's 5,

boom, that's 10,

boom, 15, full house.

They are the Ultimate Brains. Well done.

Well done, Team Think Green.

Now tell me, what do you think was the secret of your success?

Why were you so amazing? What was it, Dr Matt?

I'd say we were very quick on the button in the quick-fire round

and that, obviously, got us a lot of points.

You were the best. You were the Ultimate Brains.

Unlucky, Blues and Yellows.

Come and join us and bow, bow!

So, if you've had an amazing incredible time, come back.

Join us next time for more Ultimate Brain.

Ha-zee-ah-ha! Let's dance.