Episode 9 Ultimate Brain

What's the best way to get a dizzy Guinea Pig along an obstacle course?

How easy is it to move a ping pong ball without touching it?

And can the stars of CBBC's The Slammer Returns string

a sentence together?

You'll need to run your mind at full power to be the ULTIMATE BRAIN!

Welcome to Ultimate Brain.

# I'm looking for the greatest minds in the universe

# I'm looking, I'm looking for brains. #

Yes, my name is Dr Brain.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have over here some of

the finest minds in the universe.

Or so they believe. Could they be talking a load of hoolywoolyhooly?

Well, we will find out. Let's meet the teams.

Our first team are Lucy, Ewan, and Liberty,

and they are the Mean Green Science Team.

Well, is their dream to make the Green...?

Oh, I've run out of rhymes.

-Hello, Greens.

-Hello.

-How are you?

-I'm fine, thanks.

-Good. Where are you from?

-Nottingham.

Nottingham. Dr Ewan.

Yes.

What's the best thing you've ever done in science?

Well, if cooking counts, I've made a cake once.

You made a cake? Ooh! What kind of cake?

A raspberry cake.

Oh. How did it taste?

Uh, it didn't taste very well.

-Why not?

-I forgot...

Don't tell me - the raspberries.

You got it right.

He made a raspberry cake, and he forgot the raspberries.

Yes, this could be the next MasterChef, ladies and gentlemen.

Well done, Dr Ewan.

Best of luck to you, the Mean Green Science Team.

Next are Yellow Jaguars. Isaac, David, and Emily.

Will they be as fearsome contesters as their team name suggests?

Raargh!

-Hi, Yellows.

-Hi.

-Hello.

-How you doing?

-Good, thanks.

Good to see, you're looking good. Hey, where you from?

Holmes Chapel.

-Where's that?

-Cheshire.

Cheshire, is it? So, Dr Emily, are you a little bit musical?

Yeah.

Yeah. What do you play?

The trumpet, and the keyboard.

-At the same time?

-No.

I was going to say that's clever.

Let's have a jam, some jazz, my friends.

HE IMITATES A JAZZ TRUMPET

Monkey Jazz...

Yeah. Relax, folks.

Brilliant, great.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Yellow Jaguars.

Finally, it's the Blue Con Crew. Scarlet, Ted, and Ian.

Stars of CBBC show The Slammer Returns. They might have

plenty of prison cells, but how are they doing for brain cells?

Not very well by the look of them.

You're the Governor, ain't ya?

Who's the Governor?

You're the Governor.

Dr Scarlet, I hear that as well as many theatrical productions you

have been involved in, you were once in the production of

Beauty And The Beast, is that right?

Yes, it is, actually.

Well, what a perfect opportunity for a repeat performance.

Now, don't be like that, she's not that ugly.

Hmm.

So, we are ready to start the show.

All they have to do is impress me, with their minds,

their incredible genius brains, and they will get all

the Honour Points, and win the game,

and be the greatest ever Ultimate Brains.

Above all, don't muck it up - you know what I'm talking about?

Let's get those brains revved up, and ready to go.

What have I got here? Yes, a pair of steel spheres.

We're going to find out what happens

when I smash these two tiny planets together.

Either side of this sheet of paper.

What is going to happen?

So, teams, your thinking time starts now.

I think D.

'Hmm, this is an interesting conundrum.

'Now, they need to be thinking about what exactly happens

'when two things smash together.'

OK, that's thinking time up, folks.

Let's see your answers now.

The teams are split, Yellow Jaguars, and the Blue Con Crew

have both gone for D, and the Mean Green Science Team have chosen B.

BZZZ! Ah, get off!

Well, let's start with the odd one out,

It's the Mean Green Science Team.

You've gone for B.

You think that the collision is going to discolour the paper, why?

What is the scientific thinking behind this process?

When we play shot-put in PE

at school, it makes your hands go all dirty.

So we are guessing if it makes your hand dirty...

-Yes.

-..then it might make the paper dirty,

-and then it will discolour it.

-Good thinking.

Well, very interesting, we will find out I suppose, soon.

Now then, I'm going to come to the Yellows, and ask you your thinking.

We think it won't do anything but it may just wave about, because

both forces are...should be equal, so therefore it can't tear.

And it's impossible to burn, because there is no point of heat,

and we don't think it will discolour it.

I did.

So, after all that, your answer is D, nothing.

It's not going to do a single thing. Good thinking, Yellows.

We'll find out soon, I guess.

So, Blues, you also thought D, something else, what could

this something else be?

-Same as what he said...

-Exactly what he said.

Exactly the same?

Exactly the same.

No, well, actually we think...

..some said...well, two for are...

applying the source of the... and coming to...

-Yes.

-..opposite reaction...

-Ah, yes.

-..then different reaction...to out...

-Yes.

-..through there.

So, once again, to summarise, you're saying, "Nuffink, mate!"

-Nuffink!

-Nuffink!

Well, folks, as you should know by now on this show,

there's only one way to find out, let's try it!

Let's get into this smashing experiment.

Here we go, folks.

A one-a, a two-a, a three-a...

Ooh!

It's burnt a hole in the paper! Who'd of thunk it, folks!

# I came in like a wrecking ball

# I never hit so hard... #

That means the correct answer was A!

When two steel balls are smashed together

like this, their kinetic energy, which is the energy they have

because they are moving, is converted into heat energy

at the point of contact to burn a hole in the paper.

Although there are no flames,

the sparks produced a charred hole, along with the odour of burnt paper.

HE SPLUTTERS

No points for anybody, I'm afraid, oh, bad luck, teams!

Time now, for the next round. Oooh!

Challenge number two. The test of our teams' creativity.

-ECHOING:

-Beho-o-o-ld!

Yes, the Course Of Death.

Looks pretty simple, doesn't it, folks? What do you think?

Just a bench, isn't it? And some steps, really easy to go across,

wouldn't you think?

Yeah, well, try it when you're dizzy

and you've been spun around in the chair 50 million times!

Think that's easy? Now...

We gave our teams three days and a massive budget of 50 squillion

pounds, divided by a squillion, to come up with some answers.

But who are we going to spin right round, baby, right round,

like a record, baby, right round, right round?

# I'm spinning around

# Move out of my way... #

Everybody, it's my pet, the Guinea Pig!

-Well done, Pig!

-Come on!

What have you got me doing today?

You're going to be spun around loads and loads and then you're going

to be made to walk across a really, really narrow bench.

So, let's see what happens

when he tries without a plan...

Well, get on with it, then!

The Guinea Pig is a highly qualified stunt pet

and is trained in the art of spinning, slipping

and falling on his bottom.

Please, leave this to the professionals!

So, the Guinea Pig's in position. Shall we count him in?

-Yeah!

-Here we go...

Three, two, one...

Spin the Guinea Pig!

Somebody call my lawyer!

Now...the walk of shame!

The winning team will be the one that helps that giddy

Guinea Pig keep his balance and get across in the fastest possible time!

HE LAUGHS

So, that's what happens when you don't have a plan.

Now let's see the plan of the Mean Green Science Team.

The Mean Green Science Team hail from Nottingham.

Lucy is a member of the Girl Guides - now let's see

if she can earn her science monkey badge!

Dr Liberty, you may have a statue named after you

but do you have a chance, is this your plan, and what is it called?

It is called Operation Crutcher Plunge!

Ooh, what does it involve?

Er, crutches with a plunger attached to the bottom.

Well, yes, yes, of course, the clue was in the name, wasn't it?

So, what is actually your hope here, how are you going to help

the Guinea Pig to get across this and stop him from being dizzy?

The idea was basically since dizziness makes

you off balance, we thought that the crutches would help you.

So the two things will sort of cancel each other out -

is that basically the idea?

Yes!

Operation Crutcher Plunge!

The master plan of the Green Team involves giving the Guinea Pig

a pair of crutches in the hope that the slip resistant

rubber at the bottom of them will help maintain his balance

and stabilise his dizziness as he tries to get to the other side.

Time to spin-n-n round and round.

Let's count him in!

ALL: Three, two, one...

Spin the Guinea Pig!

Each team will be allowed about 563,000 spins.

No, not really, it's about ten.

He's getting the crutches, getting the crutches,

he's coming this way...

Go on, Guinea Pig!

Oh...

Whoo. He's down on one knee. But that's all right, that's all right.

Oh, he's just walking now...

There you go, you did it!

Well done, well done, Guinea Pig.

Just need to see this again because I need to check, erm,

erm, whether it's as funny as I thought it was the first time.

HE LAUGHS

So, 45 seconds there. How do you feel that went, Greens?

-Good, yeah.

-Happy with how your plan worked?

-Yeah.

-Yup-yup?

So, now it's time for the plan of the Yellow Jaguars.

Yes, the Yellow Jaguars. Will their purr-fect plan be up to scratch

and leave them grinning like Cheshire Cats or will

they be cleaning out the kitty litter?

More cat puns, come on, more cat puns!

So, Yellow Jaguars, what is the name of your plan?

Operation Chicken Legs.

So, what does it involve?

Well, we've got the same idea as the Green Team,

since crutches help balance.

And there's more surface area to hopefully keep him

balanced a bit more...

-Oh, I see.

-..based on chicken feet.

Cos chickens have got really good balance.

So, you're going to spin him around like normal beforehand, yes?

Yes.

But then we're going to spin him the other way for a bit as well.

-Oh, a bit of reverse spin.

-It may actually stop you regurgitating

and feeling sick.

Just giving you a psychic boost.

Come on, you can do this!

You have 45 seconds to beat.

Let's see if it works - go do it, Guinea Pig!

Operation Chicken Legs. This team are also using crutches for improved

balance but have cleverly added tennis balls for extra mobility!

They also hope that by spinning the Guinea Pig clockwise

and anti-clockwise, the balance of fluid pressure in the inner ear

will make him less dizzy, making it easier to get to the other side.

Yeah, good idea, spin him twice, why don't you!

Here we go. Are you ready to count him in?

-Yeah.

-Let's do it!

ALL: Three, two, one...

Spin the Guinea Pig!

Remember, each team is only allowed full-flunder-fun-fufty-flows spins -

that's ten in monkey science numbers.

He's going for the crutches, his going for the bench,

but he's tripping...he's down!

Go on, Guinea Pig!

GET UP! GET UP! GET UP! GET UP! GET UP!

You tell him, Dr David.

Come on! GET UP! GET UP!

Go on, he's nearly there! this could be a good time.

He's there. He's done it!

Wow! 20 seconds! You've smashed it! How do you feel?

I know how he feels, how do you feel?

-Very good.

-Yeah.

Shall we see that again?

Yes, well, I think perhaps we ought to, shouldn't we?

And perhaps again, and again, and again.

So, that could be the winning time!

Let's find out when we see the Blue plan!

It's the turn of The Blue Con Crew!

Their CBBC show, The Slammer Returns,

is set in a fictional prison.

Will their plan be a crime against common sense?

Do you get it?

Dr Scarlett, what is the name of your plan?

Operation Plungenscamp.

Plungenscamp?

-Yeah.

-What actually happens, er, what is it?

It features a Lilo...

Yes, yes.

..which is what we're going to have to do after appearing on this show.

LIE LOW!

Thank you.

How's it actually going to work, then?

So the plan is, the Guinea Pig will come out in his destabilised state.

-Yes.

-And he'll fall onto the Lilo..

-Yes

-And he'll get onto that

and he'll pull himself along with a grappling hook.

-"Plan" is probably too big a word for it.

-Exactly.

I see, so Greens and Yellows, what do you think?

-Hmm...

-NO!

-Yes!

-So, no-one's got any confidence in your idea or

-any confidence in me, thanks!

-No, sorry.

You can do it, you've just got to not fall over.

That's going to be the tricky part, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Let's see if it can work!

Operation Plungenscamp. This plan involves a Lilo and a rope.

They hope that by laying on the inflated bed the Guinea Pig

can slide himself across.

Will they feel happy or deflated at the end of this challenge?

There's only one way to find out.

I've got a sneaky feeling, though.

So here we go, the Blue plan, falling with style.

-Ready to count him in?

-Yes.

Lets' do it, 20 seconds to beat.

ALL: Three, two, one, spin the Guinea Pig!!

I believe I may have mentioned before that each team is

allowed exactly the same amount of turns, approximately

and that is nearly about almost ten.

THEY SHOUT ENCOURAGEMENT

Lilo!

Get the rope! The rope, the rope!

Don't just lie there!

Go on, go on!

Pull, pull!

Heave, heave, heave.

-Pull, pull!

-Heave, heave!

Are we allowed to help?

No, I'm afraid not, no.

Hey, what's that noise you all do together? Wha-wha-whaaaaa.

Yes, "wha-wha-wha" is exactly right I think there, Dr Ted.

It's a fail, what a shame.

You've let us down. You let yourself down.

Well, that didn't work,

if only they'd thought of using some sort of lubricant to reduce

the friction between the Lilo and the bench -

baby oil, for example, you see.

But nobody else thinks of these things, only me,

cos I'm a monkey scientist and I'm clever.

Unlucky. Complete failure there for the Blues

but, because the Greens did actually make it, they get five points.

But the winners, because they did it in the quickest time,

are the Yellows!

Ten Honour Points - well done, you Yellows.

What do we get?

Nothing, mate.

After that round, the Yellow team are out in front with ten points

with the Greens following behind with five points and

the Blues have yet to score, which is not really any surprise, is it?

Time now to noodle your noddles. It's the Brainless Challenge.

Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans.

It is lovely to be silly at the right moment.

Horis, an ancient Roman poet.

So, time now to use the silly part of the brain.

The part of the brain known as Gibson's Brassica.

I just made that up.

So what we have here is a bucket full of apples,

we have some human beings here.

Now what's going to happen is, human being number one is going to

dunk for the apple, bring it up, pass it to human being number two,

who is then going to throw it to human being number three,

who is then going to deploy it into the brain basket.

So, here we go, the team with the most apples in the basket wins

ten Honour Points. Are you ready, folks?

A three-a, a two-a, a one-a... GO!

It's getting messy over there!

He's got one, he's got one, Yellows have got one.

There's another one gone in. Oh, good shot!

Good shot there, Dr Izaac.

One going in there, Dr Ian. Good shot, Dr Ian, doing very well.

There's another one for Yellows - oh, unlucky.

Unlucky for the Greens there.

Get the apple now, that's the aim.

Oh, he's got one, he's got one. Yellows have got one.

Come on, Teddy, come on, son. Get your head in.

Don't eat them!

GONG

Oh, we've run out of time, we've run out of time. Well...

-Did we win?

-I don't know, you were eating most of 'em!

Well, they're tasty, them apples!

So it is time for the count off, starting with the Greens.

Ah, do you think this is going to take long?

-Ages.

-Forever. Ages, forever?

I think that might be a zero.

Unlucky, Greens!

So, Yellows, let's have a look.

Are you confident?

-Yes.

-That's one, that's two, three, four, five, six!

Well, six beats zero, so you are the leaders at the moment.

Pretty good stuff there, Yellows.

Let's have a look. Can you beat six?

A one-a, a two-a, a three-a,

a four-a, a five-a...

Six, it's a draw!

Ten Honour Points for the Yellows and the Blues.

So, Yellow team are way in the lead with 20 points.

The Blues are off the mark now with ten points

and the Greens are still trailing with five points.

Oh, dear. Et maintenant...Inspiration!

Now, teams, what have we got here?

I'll show ye what ye got here.

Over here we have four ping pong balls in a big loopy thing,

inside a circle.

And over here we have a bowl.

The object of the game is to transport

the balls into the bowl, using only these objects over here.

Toilet tissue, tape, bicycle pump, a banana, piece of string,

a frying pan, a whisk, a hairdryer and a feather duster.

Ten Honour Points for the team that gets all four of

the ping pong balls into the bowl.

Now you're going to have a think and a confer.

-You ready to have a think?

-Yes.

Your thinking time starts...

-ECHOING:

-..NOW!

Our teams really need to concentrate here as we test their quick

thinking, their resourcefulness, as well as their ability to draw.

Each team needs to find a way of moving the balls into the bowl

without touching them with their hands.

Oh, and I'll give them five bonus points

if they can do it without touching the balls with any of the props!

Is that a deal?

That's time, folks, that's enough thinking time.

And now...

# A one, a two and a one, two three,

# Time for you to show your plan to me. #

Oh, intriguing.

Oh, now then, let's have a look at the Green plan first.

We're using the bicycle pump to knock the balls into the pan

and then we'll carry them over to the bowl...

-In the pan.

-..and tip them in.

-..into the bowl, and in they go?

-Yeah.

-Simple!

ALL: Three, two, one.

Go, Liberty!

There's one, she's got it in the pan. Mustn't drop them, remember.

If you drop one, that's the task failed, game over.

It's going well! It's going well.

Look, she's got them all in. All she's got to do now is get them

in the bowl.

Don't spill them, don't spill any.

YAY! You did it! That, my friends, is what you call a success.

You did it, Greens. How do you feel?

-Ecstatic.

-Pretty good

-Great, ecstatic, well done!

Ten Honour Points to the Greens. Let's see the Yellow plan.

So, we're going to try and blow the ping pong balls into

the frying pan, which will have toilet paper scrunched up inside...

To absorb the shock.

..and stop it bouncing back out again.

Then we'll carry it into the bowl or something.

It will work because warm air rises above cold air.

Let's see it in action!

Right, so the toilet roll is going into the pan now,

and remind me again, Dr David, what that's doing?

Er, that's absorbing the shock.

Absorbing the shock.

Stopping the ball from bouncing out again.

From bouncing out again. That's good thinking. Thanks, Dr Emily.

Now he's going over. He's getting the hair dresser,

this is the tricky bit.

Oh, that's very good, very efficient.

Oh, careful there, don't knock it over!

Remember, you mustn't drop them or there'll be no Honour Points.

That's good so far.

Now very carefully, very carefully put it down...yes...

It worked, you did it!

Ten Honour Points for the Yellow Jaguars. Raargh!

Let's see the Blue plan.

Come on, then, Blues, what's the plan?

Well, we wish we knew.

We've considered various options. First of all

we looked at this possible equation, the pan versus the banana.

-Erm, so then we drew a nice picture of you.

-Lovely, thank you.

Thinking we'd get extra points.

Yes, did you get my good side?

It does look very similar.

And then we evolved to using the whisk to whisk it away.

But in the end I think we're going to go for...remind me?

-I think we're going for...

-Pan and banana?

So we're going to knock the balls off, into the glass bowl.

And that's the plan. Before he loses the will to live.

Let's see it in action.

It is a very nice drawing of you!

Are you ready?

Pan, banana, let's do this.

Lovely. Give it your best, love.

-Don't let us down, Ian.

-Count him in.

Three, two, one, GO!

Oh, yes, that's working so far.

-Careful.

-Yes, yes, yes, and another.

Oh, no.

I'm afraid it's a fail. Come over!

Oh, dear. So the Blue Con Crew failed in their attempt

because Dr Ian was a little bit too heavy-handed with his banana

technique, just like his acting.

Once again, you've let us down, Mr Burgess, I mean, Ian.

Yes, no points to the Blues.

Now this is how a monkey scientist would have done it

and how the teams could have won those five bonus points

by applying the Bernoulli principle.

What's that, I hear you ask?! All you need is the hairdryer.

The upward pressure from the hairdryer balances the downward

force of gravity, keeping the ball floating in the air.

That's the appliance of science, folks, it goes into the bowl!

Lovely, just time to do my hair.

You got to look after yourself, ain't ya, in this game?

So, the Yellow team are still way ahead with 30 points.

The Greens have moved into second place there with 15,

and the Blues have ten points.

And so with the Yellow Jaguars...

slightly in the lead, we enter the final round, the quick fire round.

Blues, Greens, this is your last chance to become Ultimate Brains.

Are you confident?

Up to there with confidence.

You get two points for every correct answer you give me. Let's do this!

How many days does it take for the Earth to try to...

-I'll say that again.

-Yellow Jaguars.

365.25.

Whoa! Yes, well done.

On what continent beginning with A am I most likely to find a penguin?

Yellow Jaguars.

Antarctica.

Is correct. How many sides does a nonagon have?

Blue Con Crew.

Nine.

Correct. True or false,

a kilogram of feathers weighs less than a kilogram of rocks?

Blue Con Crew.

False.

Very clever, Ted. They weigh exactly the same!

If I have 46 bananas and Guinea Pig gobbles 13,

how many bananas do I have left?

Yellow Jaguars.

Er, don't you have 33?

Yes, I do have 33, well done.

Who is playing the Doctor in the new Doctor Who?

Blue Con Crew.

Peter Capaldi.

Is the right answer.

How is a leap year different to a normal year?

Blue Con Crew.

There is one more day in it.

In?

In the leap year.

Yes, all right. Which part of your body controls your balance?

Yellow Jaguars.

Brain?

Yes, but I would have accepted ear as well, yes.

What is four times four?

Yellow Jaguars.

16.

Is right. What force keeps the moon in orbit around the Earth?

Yellow Jaguars.

Gravity.

Correct. What has more stored energy? A sparkler or a hot bath?

Blue Con Crew.

A sparkler.

-NO! A hot bath!

-Oh!

What kind of triangle beginning with I,

has only two sides of the same length.

-Blue Con Crew.

-Isosceles.

Is right.

GONG

That's it, that's game over, folks!

So, teams, now it is time for me to reveal the results.

So, in third place, with 15 points...

The Mean Green Science Team.

Unlucky, but well played. Well played, yes.

Give yourself a round of applause.

-Have you had fun?

-Yes.

Good, that's the main thing!

In second place, with 20 points...

it's the Blue Con Crew. Hey!

Unlucky. Well done!

And our runaway winners with a huge 42 Honour Points, it's

the Yellow Jaguars!

Bang! Boom! Bang!

Yellow Jaguars, you are the Ultimate Brains. How does it feel?

-Amazing.

-Good!

-Awesome!

Dr David, you were incredible on the buzzer there.

-You're a pretty brainy guy, aren't you?

-Yes.

Do you think you're going to rule the world one day?

That's pretty much impossible with democracy.

Anyway, I wouldn't want to.

No, who would want to do that, eh?

Good answer, Dr David. We like you.

-Did you have fun, teams?

-Yes.

YES! And now you're being punished for it.

Come back another time and join us for more Ultimate Brain!