Uninvited Guests Wild & Weird

# Marauding mice and walls of ice

-# And sharks on a golfing spree

-Argh!

# Cicada swarms and Martian storms

-# And fish walking out of the sea

-Really?

# Elks in trees and foaming seas

-# And giant mayfly mobs

-Huh?

# Zombie snails and friendly whales

-# And completely frozen frogs

-You what?

# They're wild and weird Wild and weird

# Really, really wild and really, really weird

# They're wild and weird Wild and weird

# They're really, really wild

# They're really, really wild and weird! #

Coming up on today's show -

some uninvited guests...

..A herd of elephants on a mini break...

..An angry ant with a taste for fry-ups...

..And the worst case of worms in the history of the universe.

CRASHING

Down, boy! Whoa!

Down, boy!

Sit! Whoa!

-Down!

-Tim, what on Earth is going on in here!

He's wrecked the place.

-Why did you invite him in?

-I didn't!

-Well, I didn't either.

-Well, then, what's he doing here?

-I don't know.

How did you even get up the rope ladder?

Don't ask, I can't hold him much longer. I really can't.

-Boiler's fixed.

-Oh, good.

-Can I take that?

-Oh.

Come on, Mr Snugglesworth.

HE SNIGGERS

Well, that was odd.

Not as odd as that elephant.

What elephant?

This elephant.

Zambia in Africa, home of the South Luangwa National Park

where the star attraction is undoubtedly the magnificent

African elephant.

These intelligent, majestic beasts are the planet's biggest land animals

and are adored and revered by people all over the world.

I love elephants, you know,

but I couldn't eat a whole one!

Hah! I couldn't...

It's a joke because I couldn't... Cos they're big,

I couldn't eat...

Yeah, carry on.

But it's important to remember that elephants are wild animals

and can be dangerous.

It's certainly no joke when

a five- tonne animal suddenly turns on you.

Oh, yikes, quick!

ELEPHANT TRUMPETS

So, it's a good idea to give any elephant

plenty of space, which is why the residents

of this luxury safari lodge had to beat a hasty retreat

when a whole family of elephants suddenly turned up

unannounced in reception.

They didn't book ahead? Outrageous!

A news crew even caught one of them on camera browsing the gift shop.

No!

He's probably after some new swimming "trunks".

Swimming...

Because of his...trunk.

So, what's the story behind these uninvited guests?

Why were the elephants there in the first place?

-Maybe they wanted to use the hot tub.

-Don't be silly, Tim.

They wouldn't like the bubbles.

No, the real reason that they were there is because

an elephant never forgets.

Ah.

Forgets what?

Never forgets anything.

What does?

An elephant.

-An elephant?

-Yes!

-What about an elephant?

-It never forgets.

-Forgets what?

Are you doing this to annoy me?

I don't know.

Who are you?

Well, let's hear from someone who can remember what they're talking about,

elephant specialist Dr Kate Evans.

Anywhere you go in Africa you'll often see these animal paths

through the bush.

Elephants do like to stay on these paths.

It's obviously the route of least resistance,

been worn away over thousands of years.

These paths guide the elephants to favourite food and water spots.

The older individuals that have been around for 50, 60 years

potentially would have learned from their mothers,

a long, long time ago, that this is the route that we need to travel

to get to water in time of need.

And so the youngsters, over time, will pick up this information.

And it's this collective memory that keeps the elephants coming back

to the same water holes year after year, generation after generation.

Water holes?

Does that mean they're at the lodge for the hot tub after all?

Keep listening.

I believe that they built the lodge on old elephant migration paths

and the migration path went through the middle of the lodge

and that's why they're choosing to go there rather than around.

With a memory stretching back this far it can be hard to adjust

when suddenly things change.

So, what do you do when a lodge springs up right in the way

of the route to your favourite watering hole?

You go straight through it, of course. Stairs and all.

And when you're the size of a minibus,

who's going to argue with you?

Whether you've got a reservation or not.

It would appear that these elephants have somehow learnt

that they're not threatened here

and this small group of elephants have chosen to carry on

with their migration route and go straight through the lodge.

So, if you're planning to build your dream home in Africa,

you might want to check out the local elephant paths first.

-Cool, hey?

-Yeah, that's pretty cool.

Hey, what's grey, got four legs and a big trunk?

An elephant?

No, a mouse going on holiday.

A mouse going on... Because it's got a big trunk...

And it's like a suitcase...

Oh, I give up.

Anyway, an elephant might be a very weird uninvited guest

but at least you'd see it coming, unlike our next critter.

Oh, yes, because this little bad boy can invade your home,

cause complete havoc without you even knowing it's there.

-It's the fire ant.

-Did you say...

MUSIC: Fire by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown

# I'll take you to burn

# I'll take you to learn

# I'll see you burn! #

You finished?

Yep.

These ants may be small

but they are certainly a force to be reckoned with.

The masters of teamwork, they attack en masse,

overwhelming their victims with the sheer weight of numbers.

And they are equipped with some pretty formidable weaponry.

Because they're smoking-hot name is a result of a venomous sting

that apparently burns like fire.

Did you say...?

MUSIC: Fire by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown

-No, no, no! Stop, stop, stop!

-MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY

-Stop.

-What?

-Sit down, please.

Right, this is a story about fire ants.

-Yeah!

-You can't jump up and dance

every time I say the word "fire", OK?

OK.

-All right.

-But ants are tiny! Their sting can't hurt that much.

Ah, remember, I said these ants attack en masse.

When one fire ant stings it releases

an alarm pheromone which calls in other ants to join in the attack.

Hey, do you want to see some photos of some fire ant stings?

-No, not really.

-Cool! Have a look at this.

I said no, not really!

Eurgh, that's disgusting!

Yeah, that is the one time you wouldn't want ants in your pants.

Why would you ever want ants in your pants?

You should try everything once, shouldn't you?

-What has this got to do with uninvited guests?

-Well.

These ants may be supreme survivors out in the wild

but when they move into the urban jungle

they begin to demonstrate some very dangerous habits.

They seem to love nothing more than invading our household appliances.

And frying themselves alive in the electrical current.

"Shocking" behaviour!

-Oh, nice.

-Thanks!

Anyway, it's not just one ant with this strange death wish,

literally thousands of them will hurl themselves

into the live current one after another until finally...

..KA-BOOM!

That doesn't look like a fun way of passing the time.

Agreed.

It's definitely not a laughing matter because in the USA

alone the fire ants' bizarre behaviour is reckoned to cause

around 5 billion worth of damage and destruction every year.

-Wow! That's a lot of pocket money.

-Mm-mm.

But why would any animal rush so willingly to certain doom?

Well, it's all about that alarm pheromone I was telling you about.

The first ant simply wanders into the electrical current

completely by accident but when it gets fried it releases

the alarm pheromone which is a call for help

to all the other ants nearby.

And when they come rushing to its aid,

they also get fried in the current

and release more pheromones, calling yet more ants into

the danger zone

and so on,

and so on, and so on until...

MUSIC: Fire by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown

# I'll take you to burn

# I'll see you burn! #

Yeah.

OK, I admit it, the fire ant would definitely be a very unwelcome guest

-but we don't have them in this country, do we?

-No.

Luckily we don't, don't panic.

I do, however, have a few specimens down here.

-Ooh!

-Oh, yeah, right in this ja-aa-aa-r...

Oh!

Don't worry, I'm pretty sure that's just a bulb.

SNIGGERING

Whoo!

-Generator fixed, power back on.

-Well done.

I'm starving, might have my lunch.

And while you've been gone I think I might have come up

-with nature's ultimate unwelcome guest.

-Oh, great, let's have a look.

Check this out.

Eric Williams, from Delaware in the USA,

came across a very unnerving spectacle

whilst mopping his kitchen floor.

Something long and worm-like

was emerging from the body of a dead beetle.

What was this strange alien-like creature doing?

Ruining my lunch, that's what it's doing.

Ruining lunch for a lot of people, Tim,

because Eric wasn't the only one to witness this miniature horror.

I have no idea what those things are.

I see all these strange hairs moving around.

-What do you think that is?

-It's a cockroach.

-No, no, look at the stringy bits coming out of it.

-Oh, my God!

That's disgusting!

Argh! Go back, go back, go back!

That bug's still alive, gross!

-So, what do you think it is?

-OK, OK, I think I've got this. Earthworms.

But they've hitched a ride into space on the shuttle

where they've been subjected to a radioactive meteorite shower

and they've hurtled back to Earth and landed

and then gone on a flesh-eating mutant reign of terror.

-Shall we ask an expert?

-Yeah, let's ask an expert.

Biologist Janice Moore has spent a lifetime fascinated

by this weird event.

Cameraman's a bit out of focus there. Embarrassing.

When I was a child I used to see these long worms,

sort of, squiggling around my grandfather's horse trough.

I preferred football in the park when I was a child.

And I was told they were horsehair worms and that is their common name

because legend has it that these worms come from horsehairs.

Hah! Worms! That's what I said, didn't I? I said that!

You said radioactive mutant earthworms from out of space.

-Did I?

-Yeah.

-Oh, you know, I don't remember.

Worms.

Well, in reality they're parasites

and they're parasites of crickets, grasshoppers, that sort of animal.

These parasites live inside, say, the cricket

and grow up to be huge compared to the cricket, all coiled up.

The cricket is almost total parasite.

But to complete its life cycle the parasite needs a liquid

to lay its eggs in, so it controls the host from the inside

and forces it to seek out water.

-Huh! What, like mind control?

-Yeah.

You know I can do that, don't you?

Yeah.

Ooh...

Someone is feeling sleepy.

You must go to the fridge and get me ice cream.

No? Not at all?

Oh, it's stopped.

Ah, that's a shame, it's my mum's.

It's safe to say that the hairworm's mind control works much better

-than yours, Tim.

-Hey!

It controls the host from the inside and moves it towards water,

any water.

A bucket,

a toilet bowl.

Oh, yuck.

Even a mopped floor will do.

Then it forces its way out of the bug's body

and lays its eggs in the water which, surely,

makes this petrifying parasite the most unwelcome,

uninvited guest in the history of uninvited guests.

Right, so, to summarise, then.

It's a worm that goes inside your body, eats everything in there

and then as soon as you get wet explodes out of your bottom?!

-Essentially, yes.

-Eurgh, I'm never getting wet again!

Oh, it's OK, though, they only infest beetles, cockroaches, crickets,

-things like that.

-Oh, well, that's not so bad.

Do keep your eyes open, though, they live in the UK, too.

I'm never having a bath ever again.

No change there, then.

# Wild and weird Wild and weird

# Really, really wild and really, really weird

# They're wild and weird Wild and weird

# They're really, really wild

# They're really, really wild and weird! #

Wild and weird!