Uninvited Guests Wild & Weird


Uninvited Guests

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# Marauding mice and walls of ice

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-# And sharks on a golfing spree

-Argh!

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# Cicada swarms and Martian storms

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-# And fish walking out of the sea

-Really?

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# Elks in trees and foaming seas

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-# And giant mayfly mobs

-Huh?

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# Zombie snails and friendly whales

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-# And completely frozen frogs

-You what?

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# They're wild and weird Wild and weird

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# Really, really wild and really, really weird

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# They're wild and weird Wild and weird

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# They're really, really wild

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# They're really, really wild and weird! #

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Coming up on today's show -

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some uninvited guests...

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..A herd of elephants on a mini break...

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..An angry ant with a taste for fry-ups...

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..And the worst case of worms in the history of the universe.

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CRASHING

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Down, boy! Whoa!

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Down, boy!

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Sit! Whoa!

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-Down!

-Tim, what on Earth is going on in here!

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He's wrecked the place.

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-Why did you invite him in?

-I didn't!

-Well, I didn't either.

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-Well, then, what's he doing here?

-I don't know.

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How did you even get up the rope ladder?

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Don't ask, I can't hold him much longer. I really can't.

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-Boiler's fixed.

-Oh, good.

-Can I take that?

-Oh.

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Come on, Mr Snugglesworth.

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HE SNIGGERS

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Well, that was odd.

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Not as odd as that elephant.

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What elephant?

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This elephant.

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Zambia in Africa, home of the South Luangwa National Park

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where the star attraction is undoubtedly the magnificent

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African elephant.

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These intelligent, majestic beasts are the planet's biggest land animals

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and are adored and revered by people all over the world.

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I love elephants, you know,

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but I couldn't eat a whole one!

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Hah! I couldn't...

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It's a joke because I couldn't... Cos they're big,

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I couldn't eat...

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Yeah, carry on.

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But it's important to remember that elephants are wild animals

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and can be dangerous.

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It's certainly no joke when

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a five- tonne animal suddenly turns on you.

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Oh, yikes, quick!

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ELEPHANT TRUMPETS

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So, it's a good idea to give any elephant

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plenty of space, which is why the residents

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of this luxury safari lodge had to beat a hasty retreat

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when a whole family of elephants suddenly turned up

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unannounced in reception.

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They didn't book ahead? Outrageous!

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A news crew even caught one of them on camera browsing the gift shop.

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No!

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He's probably after some new swimming "trunks".

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Swimming...

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Because of his...trunk.

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So, what's the story behind these uninvited guests?

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Why were the elephants there in the first place?

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-Maybe they wanted to use the hot tub.

-Don't be silly, Tim.

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They wouldn't like the bubbles.

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No, the real reason that they were there is because

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an elephant never forgets.

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Ah.

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Forgets what?

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Never forgets anything.

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What does?

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An elephant.

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-An elephant?

-Yes!

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-What about an elephant?

-It never forgets.

-Forgets what?

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Are you doing this to annoy me?

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I don't know.

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Who are you?

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Well, let's hear from someone who can remember what they're talking about,

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elephant specialist Dr Kate Evans.

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Anywhere you go in Africa you'll often see these animal paths

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through the bush.

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Elephants do like to stay on these paths.

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It's obviously the route of least resistance,

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been worn away over thousands of years.

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These paths guide the elephants to favourite food and water spots.

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The older individuals that have been around for 50, 60 years

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potentially would have learned from their mothers,

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a long, long time ago, that this is the route that we need to travel

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to get to water in time of need.

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And so the youngsters, over time, will pick up this information.

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And it's this collective memory that keeps the elephants coming back

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to the same water holes year after year, generation after generation.

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Water holes?

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Does that mean they're at the lodge for the hot tub after all?

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Keep listening.

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I believe that they built the lodge on old elephant migration paths

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and the migration path went through the middle of the lodge

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and that's why they're choosing to go there rather than around.

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With a memory stretching back this far it can be hard to adjust

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when suddenly things change.

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So, what do you do when a lodge springs up right in the way

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of the route to your favourite watering hole?

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You go straight through it, of course. Stairs and all.

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And when you're the size of a minibus,

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who's going to argue with you?

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Whether you've got a reservation or not.

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It would appear that these elephants have somehow learnt

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that they're not threatened here

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and this small group of elephants have chosen to carry on

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with their migration route and go straight through the lodge.

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So, if you're planning to build your dream home in Africa,

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you might want to check out the local elephant paths first.

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-Cool, hey?

-Yeah, that's pretty cool.

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Hey, what's grey, got four legs and a big trunk?

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An elephant?

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No, a mouse going on holiday.

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A mouse going on... Because it's got a big trunk...

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And it's like a suitcase...

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Oh, I give up.

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Anyway, an elephant might be a very weird uninvited guest

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but at least you'd see it coming, unlike our next critter.

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Oh, yes, because this little bad boy can invade your home,

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cause complete havoc without you even knowing it's there.

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-It's the fire ant.

-Did you say...

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MUSIC: Fire by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown

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# I'll take you to burn

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# I'll take you to learn

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# I'll see you burn! #

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You finished?

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Yep.

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These ants may be small

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but they are certainly a force to be reckoned with.

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The masters of teamwork, they attack en masse,

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overwhelming their victims with the sheer weight of numbers.

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And they are equipped with some pretty formidable weaponry.

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Because they're smoking-hot name is a result of a venomous sting

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that apparently burns like fire.

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Did you say...?

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MUSIC: Fire by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown

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-No, no, no! Stop, stop, stop!

-MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY

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-Stop.

-What?

-Sit down, please.

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Right, this is a story about fire ants.

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-Yeah!

-You can't jump up and dance

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every time I say the word "fire", OK?

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OK.

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-All right.

-But ants are tiny! Their sting can't hurt that much.

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Ah, remember, I said these ants attack en masse.

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When one fire ant stings it releases

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an alarm pheromone which calls in other ants to join in the attack.

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Hey, do you want to see some photos of some fire ant stings?

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-No, not really.

-Cool! Have a look at this.

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I said no, not really!

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Eurgh, that's disgusting!

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Yeah, that is the one time you wouldn't want ants in your pants.

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Why would you ever want ants in your pants?

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You should try everything once, shouldn't you?

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-What has this got to do with uninvited guests?

-Well.

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These ants may be supreme survivors out in the wild

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but when they move into the urban jungle

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they begin to demonstrate some very dangerous habits.

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They seem to love nothing more than invading our household appliances.

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And frying themselves alive in the electrical current.

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"Shocking" behaviour!

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-Oh, nice.

-Thanks!

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Anyway, it's not just one ant with this strange death wish,

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literally thousands of them will hurl themselves

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into the live current one after another until finally...

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..KA-BOOM!

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That doesn't look like a fun way of passing the time.

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Agreed.

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It's definitely not a laughing matter because in the USA

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alone the fire ants' bizarre behaviour is reckoned to cause

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around 5 billion worth of damage and destruction every year.

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-Wow! That's a lot of pocket money.

-Mm-mm.

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But why would any animal rush so willingly to certain doom?

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Well, it's all about that alarm pheromone I was telling you about.

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The first ant simply wanders into the electrical current

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completely by accident but when it gets fried it releases

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the alarm pheromone which is a call for help

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to all the other ants nearby.

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And when they come rushing to its aid,

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they also get fried in the current

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and release more pheromones, calling yet more ants into

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the danger zone

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and so on,

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and so on, and so on until...

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MUSIC: Fire by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown

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# I'll take you to burn

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# I'll see you burn! #

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Yeah.

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OK, I admit it, the fire ant would definitely be a very unwelcome guest

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-but we don't have them in this country, do we?

-No.

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Luckily we don't, don't panic.

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I do, however, have a few specimens down here.

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-Ooh!

-Oh, yeah, right in this ja-aa-aa-r...

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Oh!

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Don't worry, I'm pretty sure that's just a bulb.

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SNIGGERING

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Whoo!

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-Generator fixed, power back on.

-Well done.

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I'm starving, might have my lunch.

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And while you've been gone I think I might have come up

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-with nature's ultimate unwelcome guest.

-Oh, great, let's have a look.

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Check this out.

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Eric Williams, from Delaware in the USA,

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came across a very unnerving spectacle

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whilst mopping his kitchen floor.

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Something long and worm-like

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was emerging from the body of a dead beetle.

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What was this strange alien-like creature doing?

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Ruining my lunch, that's what it's doing.

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Ruining lunch for a lot of people, Tim,

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because Eric wasn't the only one to witness this miniature horror.

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I have no idea what those things are.

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I see all these strange hairs moving around.

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-What do you think that is?

-It's a cockroach.

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-No, no, look at the stringy bits coming out of it.

-Oh, my God!

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That's disgusting!

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Argh! Go back, go back, go back!

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That bug's still alive, gross!

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-So, what do you think it is?

-OK, OK, I think I've got this. Earthworms.

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But they've hitched a ride into space on the shuttle

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where they've been subjected to a radioactive meteorite shower

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and they've hurtled back to Earth and landed

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and then gone on a flesh-eating mutant reign of terror.

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-Shall we ask an expert?

-Yeah, let's ask an expert.

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Biologist Janice Moore has spent a lifetime fascinated

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by this weird event.

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Cameraman's a bit out of focus there. Embarrassing.

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When I was a child I used to see these long worms,

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sort of, squiggling around my grandfather's horse trough.

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I preferred football in the park when I was a child.

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And I was told they were horsehair worms and that is their common name

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because legend has it that these worms come from horsehairs.

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Hah! Worms! That's what I said, didn't I? I said that!

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You said radioactive mutant earthworms from out of space.

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-Did I?

-Yeah.

-Oh, you know, I don't remember.

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Worms.

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Well, in reality they're parasites

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and they're parasites of crickets, grasshoppers, that sort of animal.

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These parasites live inside, say, the cricket

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and grow up to be huge compared to the cricket, all coiled up.

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The cricket is almost total parasite.

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But to complete its life cycle the parasite needs a liquid

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to lay its eggs in, so it controls the host from the inside

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and forces it to seek out water.

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-Huh! What, like mind control?

-Yeah.

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You know I can do that, don't you?

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Yeah.

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Ooh...

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Someone is feeling sleepy.

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You must go to the fridge and get me ice cream.

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No? Not at all?

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Oh, it's stopped.

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Ah, that's a shame, it's my mum's.

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It's safe to say that the hairworm's mind control works much better

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-than yours, Tim.

-Hey!

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It controls the host from the inside and moves it towards water,

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any water.

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A bucket,

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a toilet bowl.

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Oh, yuck.

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Even a mopped floor will do.

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Then it forces its way out of the bug's body

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and lays its eggs in the water which, surely,

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makes this petrifying parasite the most unwelcome,

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uninvited guest in the history of uninvited guests.

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Right, so, to summarise, then.

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It's a worm that goes inside your body, eats everything in there

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and then as soon as you get wet explodes out of your bottom?!

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-Essentially, yes.

-Eurgh, I'm never getting wet again!

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Oh, it's OK, though, they only infest beetles, cockroaches, crickets,

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-things like that.

-Oh, well, that's not so bad.

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Do keep your eyes open, though, they live in the UK, too.

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I'm never having a bath ever again.

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No change there, then.

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# Wild and weird Wild and weird

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# Really, really wild and really, really weird

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# They're wild and weird Wild and weird

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# They're really, really wild

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# They're really, really wild and weird! #

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Wild and weird!

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