The Spinner and the Saint Wingin' It

BLAND INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC

Hey, Carl, is this supposed to be your first high school party

or a dentist's waiting room?

Whatever, Porter. Everyone has at least one guilty pleasure

on their MP3. I'm sorry that shuffle brought mine up first.

-MORE BLAND MUSIC

-OK, two guilty pleasures.

This is a different song?!

Oh, this song's always on at the grocery store.

It reminds me of the soup aisle.

Yeah, well, thank you again for letting us throw this party.

Thank Porter. He convinced me to let you throw it.

Becky, it's time for ladies' night.

-We'll let these guys have their fun.

-OK, Mum.

We'll touch base if we need more cheese puffs.

DOORBELL RINGS

-Your first guests!

-Come on! Nothing exciting down here.

Hey, Carl, Porter.

Wow! Thanks for the party gifts, Alex.

Sweet! We're the first ones here.

That's not sweet. I was trying to be fashionably late.

Right now we're out of style.

CARL LAUGHS

# Let's give it one more shot

# Let's give it everything we've got

# Cos if we get it right

# We will surely conquer the world

# Hey! I've got my wings

# From an angel

# Now we're wingin' it all the time

# I'm giving wings to an angel

# Always an angel

# Now we've got to learn to fly. #

Nice move, Spencer.

-Has anyone shown up yet?

-Nope.

This party sucks. It's like a ghost town, minus the ghosts.

Try to have some fun, stress bag.

Oh, ha-ha-ha(!)

-DOOR SLAMS

-Oh.

Uh... Brittany?

I know. I'm as surprised as you are.

Madeline said there was a party going on here.

-So where is it?

-Excellent question, Madeline.

You should have been here earlier. I had to kick, like, 30 people out.

-It was crazy, wild.

-Can you get them to come back?

Give me just one second.

If I'd known Brittany was going to be here I would have, I don't know,

worn more body spray.

Body spray is your answer to everything.

Brittany's presence will boost your popularity.

Brittany! This is the best party ever!

Veggie juice, it rules. Want to go sip for sip?

DANCE MUSIC

Wow! Alex is really good at this video game.

I haven't turned it on yet.

I'm going to need more juice.

I don't think so.

Yeah. That's fantastic, that's just what I need(!)

This is terrible!

I'm going to be the lame party guy, the worst thing you can be.

Let's go, girls, and shop online this party is L-A...M-M-E.

Ladies and gentlemen and Alex,

are you guys ready to party?

-Yeah.

-If you know where one's happening.

-What are you doing?

-Follow my lead.

I SAID, ARE YOU READY TO PARTY?

ALL: Yes.

This is MC Wings, and I'm going to introduce you

to the main event - spinning the wheels of steel, DJ Spinclaire.

Carl, I didn't know you could DJ!

-Um...surprise.

-Just say, this song's for all the ladies out there.

-Um...

-CLEARS THROAT

This, um... This is for all the ladies...out there.

LADIES: Wooh!

MUSIC: "Turn It Up" by Stereos

CHEERING

Wow, this is incredible!

I mean, the popular kids are here and loving it!

-No-one can resist the sweet sounds of magic turntables.

-Wooh!

-Yeah!

Hey, Serge, you're the only one not dancing. Come on, let's go.

Sorry, I can't dance till after the big game, I might hurt myself.

My ankles are tough, but not that tough.

You can show me your moves at the school dance after the big game.

-Sure, we can dance like we have ants in our pants.

-I'll hold you to that,

-the dance part.

-Yeah, I don't even like ants.

I'm not afraid of them, just don't like them.

CHANTING: Spin-claire! Spin-claire! Spin-claire! Spin-claire!

MUSIC STOPS

Um... This is MC Wings and DJ Spinclaire saying, go home now!

Party is over!

Hi, Mom. How was ladies' night?

Don't "ladies' night" me - you boys are grounded.

Woo-hoo! Sleepover!

I meant Carl and Porter are grounded.

Can I sleep over anyway?

Probably not.

MP3: 'Dealing with being grounded, chapter...'

Hey, Carl!

I had a great time at your party -

I never knew you were such a fun guy.

I'm a regular yeast-mould mushroom.

Get it? Fun-guy?

Fungus spelt differently.

I get it, it just wasn't that funny.

Think you're so smooth, Montclaire? I drink smoothies for breakfast.

-Smoothies give me brain freeze.

-I'll give YOU brain freeze.

Serge! Stop right there, young man.

I've been hearing a lot of strange threats coming from lately.

I'm raining on your parade,

and the only umbrellas around are the ones in those fruity drinks.

I'm taking you to the movies and sitting in front with a big hat.

I'm going to force you not to use the letter D. Goo luck.

You know, I'd like you to go see DR Cassabi

for some guidance counselling.

-SIGHS

-Thank you, Principal Malone.

Not to worry, Mr Montclaire,

it's my job to keep hallways hassle-free.

Ooh! Sounds like a song in there, huh?

# Hassle-free, that's how we'll be

# You and me, so hassle-free... #

Porter, I'm the first DJ to be grounded

for throwing too good of a party.

Look at it this way - people know that when Carl throws a party,

-you BETTER be at that party.

-Hey, guys.

-I LOVED the surprise party you threw for me.

-It wasn't a surprise.

Surprise, because I thought it was going to suck, then, surprise -

-it was awesome.

-Thanks.

-As head of the Social Committee,

I want you to DJ for the school dance, it's a beach theme.

-Um... We wish we could, but these wicked...

-Crazy, awesome...

Awesome d-dates.

Come on, the school is dying for you to perform again.

SHE SIGHS But I guess I can just find

somebody else to do this huge, unforgettable favour for me.

Right, Carl?

-CARL LAUGHS

-Ah... Wait!

We can... We can cancel our blind dates.

-We can?

-Yeah. We don't even know them yet anyway.

This is going to be the best luau ever - we'll talk the deets later.

It's official!

Spinclaire and MC Wings are going to be rocking the dance.

CHEERING

How are we going to DJ the party and be grounded at the same time?

I don't know.

But I'd say it'll involve some angel magic, wink-wink nudge-nudge.

Don't do that.

Serge, why were you bugging Carl?

I don't know, Dr Cassabi.

-Were you unhappy with something he was doing?

-No!

All right, he was talking to Madeline.

Is she your girlfriend?

Keep it down! Not yet, I mean...

I wish.

She wants ME to take her to the dance.

Well... Why is that a bad thing?

-I can't dance.

-Ah! Ha-ha!

I'm not much of a dancer either, really.

Except I do do this shoulder-shrug thing.

Mix it up. # Doo-do-do der-up-pup. #

I do that when I don't know stuff.

-Oh, Miss Casey!

-Yes, Dr Cassabi?

-You're in the dance club, right?

-I'm in two -

the Jazz Maniacs and the...Tap-A-Holics

Actually, it's the same people, we just meet on different days.

Serge wants to work on his dance moves, maybe you could...

If I can teach my cat how to flush the toilet,

I can teach Serge how to dance.

Ha-ha! Well, off you go, Serge, you're in good hands now.

Or should I say feet?

Right? Ha-ha!

Mmm, no.

-Can I see your cat flushing the toilet?

-Sure!

-Does it lift the lid?

-Yeah.

Can't you just make my mom forget that we're grounded?

I can't go changing people's minds - that's against angel policy.

Besides, your mom might have a change of heart

because of all you've been doing.

Ooh, flowers!

-The card.

-OK.

"Roses are red, Lilacs are white,

"Please let us go to the dance tomorrow night."

Very sweet, but no.

Put these in water.

-Mom...

-No.

-But I didn't...

-When I say grounded, I mean grounded.

I appreciate the flowers and the work you've been doing,

-but you're staying here, that's final.

-But what if I told you...

I kind of...accidently agreed to DJ at the school dance.

I would tell you that's kind of not my problem.

-I have paperwork to do in the den. Becky, keep an eye on them.

-Deal.

These two coach potatoes aren't going anywhere.

You know, you don't have to wear that.

Serge always wears a uniform.

Let's do this.

OK, are you ready to bust a move?

-Is it going to hurt? I can take the pain.

-No!

-Just follow the beat and repeat after me.

-OK.

MUSIC STARTS

Pas de bourree, pas de bourree.

Pirouette. Shake it.

# Chaines, down. #

-Retire and jump.

-OK.

So, now it's your turn, OK?

OK. 5, 6, 7, and...

Pas de bourree, pas de bourree.

Pirouette.

Shake it.

Chaines.

Retire.

And jump!

How did I do?

That's one way of doing it.

I'm useless.

-Madeline will never dance with me.

-This is all for a girl?

That's surprisingly cute.

I'll do whatever it takes to help love prevail. OK.

5, 6, 7, and...

Pas de bourree, pas de bourree.

Pirouette. Shake it.

Whoa, am I getting it? Am I busting moves?

You're busting something.

All right, what do you think?

You're not supposed to use pillow cases to make a ladder.

I didn't want to wreck my duvet, I've been getting great sleeps.

It doesn't help with the Becky-guard-dog situation

or the moral dilemma of sneaking out.

I know, I know. It's just I've finally got the taste of cool cred

and I don't want it to end.

Man, I don't get it.

I mean, sometimes, I look in the mirror and think,

"Yeah, I'm looking good."

Sometimes, I look and think, "You're a little gnome, Carl."

More like a little genius.

I don't know about "genius", gifted maybe.

Um...

mastodon run amok, Mexican jumping spells, mirror images...

There we go, mirror images. Also known as decoys.

You mean like, fake us?

Yeah, the decoys will stay here and pretend to be us,

while we go and blow the crowd away. Becky won't even notice.

I'm giving you the green light, Porter.

OK. It says stand in front of a mirror and look yourself in the eye.

OK.

Stand still and...

Wooh!

Oh! Oh!

Awesome!

-Give us pizza.

-We want pop.

-Chips!

-Hey, decoys...

Hey. Carl, Porter...

-Huh?

-Huh?

-OK, we're grounded.

-DECOYS LAUGH

-Losers!

Yeah, so we need you two to stay in the room

while we go to the school dance and party.

-Party?

-Party?

DECOYS CHANT: Party! Party!

Hey, what's going on in there, jailbirds?

Nothing, Becky!

Not so fast, you two.

Your decoy can use magic?!

Party! Bye, losers.

Losers, ha-ha! Watch out below!

What the heck, Porter? You made evil decoys of us?!

I guess the decoys, being mirror images, are opposites.

-Get these halo handcuffs off us, and we'll cut them off.

-OK.

Ah! My angel magic doesn't work on this red halo.

So we're stuck here while those two go to the dance?

Everybody's going to think that they're us.

There's no telling what they'll do.

They might spike the punch with spikes.

I thought I smelled a delicious garbage smell...

Wait, didn't I just see you go out the window?

That wasn't us, Dennis, that was our evil decoys.

Ah, evil decoys. Well, that explains... What?!

Evil decoys?!

Where the heck did they come from?

I used the decoy spell from the textbook.

Well, then, of course they're evil!

The mirror-image spell flips more than just the part in Carl's hair.

Didn't you read the warning?

I'm not good with fine print.

Dennis, you've got to help, start chewing.

OK, watch your thumbs.

Wow, look at him go!

Talk about the jaws of life!

Ah, OK. Listen, Dennis, Becky's out there watching us like a hawk,

I need you to cover for us while we track down the decoys.

-I'll give you my...garbage for a month.

-You got a deal!

All right.

Where are Carl and Porter? They should be here.

If you need me to go on, I'll be practising

my new boogie-down remix of She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain.

# She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes

# When I say, "round the" you say "mountain"

-# Round the

-Mountain

-Round the

-Mountain. #

I'll think about it.

Thank you.

Ya, ha-ha, ha! Wah!

Finally. Don't explain, just get up there.

DECOYS CACKLE

Nice hair, turkey!

Thanks, I just put some new product in it.

It doesn't hold its shape very well.

SHE SQUEALS I just fixed it!

CARL DECOY GRUNTS

Hey, it's way too quiet in there.

Ha! Busted!

SIGHING AND SNORING NOISE

BECKY SIGHS

Wait a second,

why are you asleep so early?

Um... We're really tired from being active teenage humans.

-LOW-PITCHED VOICE:

-Yeah, with all our hormones and such.

Very funny, guys, you can stop with the jokey voices.

DENNIS LAUGHS

Serge, I can tell by the bounce in your step, you are ready

to woo Madeline with your new moves.

You bet, Dr Cassabi. Tonight, the dance floor's a buffet,

and it's all you can feet.

Ha-ha! That's the spirit.

Oh, Miss Casey, I just saw Serge -

thank you again for teaching him to dance.

Dr Cassabi, it was a complete disaster.

He just can't dance, and I didn't have the heart to tell him,

so I said, "Yeah, you're great," but he took that to heart.

How bad is he?

Let's just say, the Jazz Maniacs went home crying.

Oh, that's not good.

-Oh, you spin good.

-You spin gooder.

You spin goodest! DECOYS LAUGH

Hey, dummies, put on a slow song.

DECOYS: OK, dummy.

Right on, dummies.

MUSIC SLOWS DOWN

SLOW SONG STARTS

Madeline, I was wondering if you'd like to bust a slow move with me?

Finally.

I'd love to, Serge.

CARL DECOY CACKLES

Look at that, he can't dance.

He can't even walk straight.

Get off the dance floor, amigo, wooh!

Excuse me, Madeline.

What did you say to me, Carl?

You can't dance, mistakeroni.

Dr Uncoordinated.

I can dance, probably better than you chumps.

DECOYS: Ooh! Those sound like dance-off words.

They don't just "sound like", they ARE dance-off words.

DECOYS: Ooh! It's on. Careful, you might blow a fuse!

Ca-shaa!

Carl? I knew there was something fishy going on.

Who are those two?

-PORTER:

-Those are our evil decoys that we pulled out of a mirror

to stay at home while we came to the dance.

Are you planning on fixing this?

The textbook says, "Send them back where they came from,"

-whatever that means.

-Some things never change.

It means you need to send them back into a mirror -

you're wearing two on your face.

Carl, you create a distraction. Porter, you distract the decoys.

All right? Let's go.

CROWD CHEERS

CROWD GROANS

CHEERING

CHEERING

I didn't teach him those moves!

Don't be so modest.

The Tap-A-Holics are going to be so happy.

CHEERING

Time for everyone to enjoy my lame music with me.

EASY-LISTENING SAXOPHONE

Hey, Porter! Carl!

I've got some pizza.

-Oh, pizza!

-Pizza!

(You're ruining my dance!)

Weren't you just...?

OK, enough with this weird show, you're fired.

Your DJing days are over.

Looks like Carl and Porter can't handle MY moves. Serge wins!

CHEERING

-Pepperoni's so good.

-So good.

-So good.

Hey, guys, look into this shiny thing.

DECOYS SCREAM

Where did you learn to dance like that?

Let's just say I got a little help...

from a nerd.

The world's coolest!

That's my dumb jock.

-CARL SIGHS

-I can't believe that worked.

-Thanks, Dr Cassabi.

-Thanks, that's why you're the boss.

Sure. But, Porter, meet me in my office Monday morning -

the floor needs scrubbing with a toothbrush,

a teeny, tiny, travel-size toothbrush.

-Yes, sir.

-Mm-hm.

Nice try, boys, but you've been...

Busted, airheads.

You're double grounded.

OK, so look, the baseball team wants us to DJ for their fundraiser,

so this is what I'm thinking -

we make decoys of our decoys.

If the first decoys are evil, the second will be good.

Right? Then we won't have to worry about...

CARL MAKES NO SOUND

APPLAUSE

Tonight, the dance floor is an all-you-can-eat buffet...

-Great.

-That was totally not my line.

Goodbye.

I'll be back.

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