Reel Trouble Wingin' It

Wait, wait, wait! Listen. What do you hear?

Yeah, sounds like victory!

Actually, it sounds like squeaky sneakers, gossip and failure.

It sounds like victory because I, Carl Montclaire,

have found THE perfect idea for a first date with Jane.

Idea, as in you haven't asked her out yet?

No, but with an idea like this, I hardly need to.

'First, an un-chaperoned dinner date at my house.'

-I have six flavours of ketchup.

-Aw!

'Followed by some spirited intellectual gamesmanship.'

-I'll cover you while you get the plasma launcher.

-Aw!

-'Followed by...'

-Good thing there's a followed by.

So far it sounds like you're dating Alex.

Ta-da! Two tickets to see the much anticipated film adaptation

of Jane's all-time favourite sci-fi novel, Cosmonaut Claire.

When Jane sees these puppies, there's no way she'll say no.

No way!

Great news, I just won a radio contest!

Cool, what did you win? A free CD?

MP3 player? An all-expenses paid trip to St Lucia?

Better. I just won Bennett High a special premiere screening

-of Cosmonaut Claire!

-SHE SQUEALS

We get to screen the movie here and I get

an actual Cosmonaut Claire costume, and there's loads of other prizes.

Now the whole school can see it together.

-Excelsior now, excelsior forever!

-SHE CONTINUES SQUEALING

You know that's littering, right?

# Let's give it one more shot

# Let's give it everything we've got

# Because if we get it right

# We will surely conquer the world

# I've got my wings from an angel

# Now I'm wingin' all the time

# I'm giving the wings to an angel

# Now we got to learn to fly. #

Lower, higher, a little to the left.

-Right, right.

-Right as in over to the right or right as in correct?

Both. There, perfect!

So, after the screening you will probably want to

see the film again in a state-of-the art theatre with surround-sound,

-stadium seats, cup holders.

-Yeah, of course.

You realise you ripped up those tickets, right?

I haven't been this excited for a movie since my parents

let me watch my birth video. Spoiler alert, I'm a boy!

Alex, could you do me a huge favour?

Could you set up the Cosmonaut Claire movie before the show?

Maybe screen it to make sure it works?

No, sorry, I don't want to spoil the ending for myself.

-I'll pre-screen the DVD for you.

-Really?

Yeah, I'll just pop it in, give it the once over, no problem.

-You don't mind being spoiled?

-You've seen one space movie,

you've seen them all. Lasers, portals, shiny pants, robot butlers.

What sci-fi movies are you watching?

Just Robot Butler's Laser Portal. I think he was wearing shiny pants.

Anyway, just consider the DVD pre-screened.

-I know how much this means to you.

-Thanks, Carl.

BELL RINGS

Let me get this straight. You went from watching the movie

with Jane to watching the movie for Jane, by yourself?

There's Jane, there's a movie, close enough.

Hey, guys. Oh, the Cosmonaut Claire movie.

I hear the special effects are unbelievable.

-Are you guys going?

-No, I'm taking Denise

to the concert of the millennium - Beethoven's 47th comeback tour.

I wouldn't want to miss that(!)

We've been over this. The reason I'm taking you to the concert

is to instil in you two qualities of a good AIT.

Snoozeness and gagitude?

No, cultural awareness and open-mindedness.

Denise has a habit of bailing on every big event that we have

upstairs. I need to teach her that she has responsibilities as an AIT.

I'm just lucky this lesson comes with a little fun for me.

So, it has nothing to do with thefact that you're the head

-of Beethoven's fan club?

-Oh, I just edit our newsletter.

Besides, it's of the most anticipated events since Elvis

-sang opera. Tickets are impossible to get.

-Uh-oh.

What? You didn't forget to get tickets, did you?

Heh-heh! Oops!

Guess we'd better get in line.

Denise, you know how I hate waiting in lines! I only buy

my groceries eight items at a time just so I can use the express lane.

Come on, Denise. Bye, guys.

Well, here goes something.

I can't wait at the gates of the Cydonian Complex forever.

If Cosmonaut Claire doesn't retrieve the Fraxellian anti-virus,

everyone in this whole galaxy will perish. Me included.

That's who Jane has a crush on?! Space Pirate Bruce?

That guy is a total asteroid. Not to mention the fact he's not real.

Why would Jane be attracted to a fictional character

-when she could have an actual guy?

-I'll wait for you forever, Jane.

I bet Alex's birthing video had a bigger budget than this.

This line hasn't moved for 20 minutes.

We're going to miss the concert entirely.

This is what you have to focus on if you want to be a top AIT.

I'm really sorry you feel that way.

-That's not an apology.

-Don't worry, Dr C.

-I'm sure things will work out for the best.

-Tickets, tickets!

-Who needs tickets?

-Maybe we can get tickets from that guy?

Nah, that seems rather unseemly.

Do you want to see the concert or don't you?

-Yeah, you do. ..You got tickets?

-You need tickets?

What if I did need tickets?

-Then maybe I have tickets.

-Oh, for heaven's sake!

I need tickets, you have tickets, let's do this.

-How does the third row strike you?

-Are you kidding, that's awesome!

-See, Dr C, I'm doing this.

-Wait a minute, what do these cost?

What kind of place do you think this is? They're free. Enjoy the concert.

Tickets! Who needs tickets?

I really love it up here!

Wait, these are fake, are these fake? I think they're fake.

-They're not fake.

-Oh, come on. Who would buy that?

Come on, Claire,

I've only got another hour before the fever kicks in.

And after that, it's only a few parsecs

till I'm as loony as a Bardavian bat.

I've missed you so much, Bruce.

And I've brought the antidote for the fever.

If you thought missing me was hard, you should try missing you.

Oh, my Bruce!

-What does she see in this guy?

-Jane wants to come in, but she doesn't

-want to see the movie.

-Neither do I.

-Just pause it.

-Gladly.

-Hey, Jane, it's safe to come in.

Wow! You look galactic.

Thanks, it's identical to Cosmonaut Claire's.

Well, everything in here is set up

-so all you have to do is sit back and watch the movie.

-Thanks, Carl.

-How about a sneak peek?

-No, I don't want to spoil it!

Come on, just a few seconds?

No way! But I'll see you at lunch. Thanks again.

-How's the flick?

-It's a joke. Space Pirate Bruce is as dumb

as the rock he is marooned on.

-Oh, man!

-Maybe Mr Dolby has another DVD player?

It'll never be ready by lunch! Do you have any idea how long

it took me to get the DVD cables connected properly?

-We're running out of time.

-Chill out, OK?

-I was doing Space Pirate Bruce.

-Let's see if this helps.

Thanks.

Claire, there's not much time!

-Claire, there's not much time!

-What's going on?

-HIGH-PITCHED RINGING

-Turn it off!

Prepare to be disintegrated.

I don't want to be disintegrated!

Whoa, relax!

Who is this guy?

He's Space Pirate Bruce from a planet in the Omega Sector.

I thought you hated this movie.

I do, but it sticks in your brain like stupid peanut butter.

I demand to know what's happening to me.

Is this a side effect from the anti-virus?

No, you're just in uncharted territory.

-Like being in between galaxies.

-Like that incident with the parallel

-dimensions of Torsch?

-Sure...

BELL RINGS

The battle bell has sounded! I must storm the gates

of the Cydonian Complex. There's not a parsec to spare!

-What just happened with your magic?

-I have no idea.

I can't beam Bruce back until I get him right in front

of a movie screen. Double lighting, location sightline and some

other semi-scientific stuff that's supposed to help me with my magic.

I wonder if Bruce will let me keep his space blaster after I zap him

back into the movie? That'd be sweet.

-We have an imaginary film character to chase down.

-That's a wrap.

Whoa! You two look like you're in quite a rush.

What are you guys doing here?

Well, I forgot something in my office.

He's checking up on you. He can't even relax long enough to enjoy

the concert he's dragging me to.

Are you sure you two aren't up to no good? My angel senses are tingling.

No, no, no.

Maybe that wig is cutting off the circulation to your melon.

How do you like the wig? They were all out of T-shirts,

but I had to get something from the concert. 300 bucks.

That's a lot of overhead. Over...!

With the... Oh, it's too tight.

-No, I think it's my angel senses.

-Yeah, I'm going with angel senses.

-We're just hanging.

-You know it's hard for an angel

-to completely stop worrying about his AITs.

-Let's go already.

Rumour has it Beethoven is going to do some major hip swinging.

-What's major hip swinging?

-No, not right now. I've got to stretch

-and limber up.

-Come on, do it!

-It starts with a little bit of this.

And it goes a little like this and then some of this.

Like this, it kind of really takes over... Never mind, let's go.

-My eyes can't unsee what I just saw.

-Snap out of it, man!

-Half our movie is running around with a space blaster.

-Let's go.

-People are friendlier than I expected.

-I know.

Cosmonaut Claire, there you are.

Hoo-wee! You're looking hotter than the seventh sun of Pixon.

I didn't know the radio contest included one of the stars

of the movie. Wow, perfect costume.

-I've never seen a better Bruce.

-There is no better Bruce.

There is only...

Bruce.

-So true.

-Cosmonaut Claire, let's get some sustenance and we can

discuss our next mission. You may bring your Norf,

-your space pet.

-All right! I'm a Norf!

I feel like I'm in a 3D movie.

Your stupid Beethoven wig is blocking the view

-of the people behind you.

-Shh, he's going to start another song.

-Shh!

-I was wrong about this Beethoven guy. He actually

-kind of rocks.

-This stinks, we're supposed to be in the third row.

-What do the tickets say?

-Third row...

Gah! From the back!

Beethoven is so small he looks like a cotton swab.

It's going to take me half an hour to finish this soda.

-And that guy over there won't stop da-da-da-da-ing.

-Why don't you tell

him to do-do-do-don't? You were the one trying to get me to appreciate

the finer things and you're the one sitting sulking like a baby.

This soda is making my tummy all gurgly.

Look, a space has just opened up over there.

-Maybe we can get a better view?

-Now you're talking. Excuse me.

Excuse me, excuse me.

Aw! It just gets worse.

So I said to this Verukian scum, I said there's only room for one

space pirate in this galaxy. That space pirate is...

Bruce!

Yeah, that's right. Me. Right, Cosmonaut Claire?

Right, Bruce.

I mean, if I'm going to escape from this Cydonian Complex holo-room,

I'll need all the powers I got,

-and nobody is going to stand in my way, baby.

-He's a remarkable actor.

And he never breaks character, even when you poke him in the belly.

Is that an old earth string-box?

Pass it here.

# There are so many lonely people

# Living in outer space

# So many of them

# Are not of the human race

# I travel across the universe for your tender loving care

# Because you're my one and only Cosmonaut Claire. #

Wow, they're really eating this up. What a bunch of cosmonuts.

You think you're being clever, but that's what they call themselves.

I've got an idea. Go distract Jane.

What's up, Jane. You've got to tell me your radio contest

call-in secrets. What do you do, just listen and call in?

Oh, it's a whole system.

Bruce, I have a secret message for you from Cosmonaut Claire.

-Lay it on me, little man.

-I'm not a little man!

-How did you get your head through those railings?

-Point taken, Bruce.

Don't believe what you see here, all these people are xenomorphs

trying to deceive you.

I'm surrounded by Bardavian shape-shifters?

It happens. But don't worry,

we have an escape pod for you waiting in the gym. Let's go.

Excelsior!

Nice beaming. I can see the Cosmonaut Academy has improved

their technology since I dropped out. So, where's this escape pod?

-We need to ditch these xenomorphs.

-Right through that screen.

To the end of the galaxy and beyond that.

-The dimensions are intact.

-Guys, where did Space Pirate Bruce go?

-No, stop, Jane.

-Stay away from there!

There you are.

Once again, it's Cosmonaut Claire to the rescue.

Tell me you've come back with the stolen entry codes

for the Cydonian Complex?

Has Cosmonaut Claire ever let you down before, Bruce?

It seems like every time I see you, you rescue me.

-Got it, let's go save the universe. Again.

-Excelsior!

Jane does make a cute cosmonaut.

This could be really big trouble. We have to get her out of there.

So, Bruce, ready to blast those Bardavians back into oblivion?

You bet, baby. Now all we've got to do is get

across this anti-gravity deal alive.

I love it when you talk space degree.

They're holding hands? Jane, what are you doing?

She's forgotten she's Jane.

I haven't. Bruce is going to double-cross her.

-Wow! Thanks for ruining the ending for me.

-Just get her out of there.

OK.

Huh?

The only way I can magic Jane back out again is if she returns

to the point of the movie where she went in.

That was at the gate of the Cydonian Complex.

Oh, please don't tell me I have to watch this movie again.

-Good news, I'm putting you in the movies.

-Why me? You're the angel.

If I put myself in there's a chance I won't be able to get out.

So you're going to go into the movie and convince Jane

to leave the Cydonian Complex. Keep up.

But if you send me in, I'll forget who I am, just like Jane did.

I've got angel magic for that.

Just bring her back to the gates and I'll magic you both out.

Nice transporter. Wish me luck.

Excelsior!

Let's go. If we leave now we'll beat the rush.

No, Beethoven hasn't done Ode to Joy yet.

I'll sing it to you on the way home. Excuse me...

I'll tell you what, you wanted me to learn something. I did.

I learned you can be a real stick in the mud.

A stick can be a very important part of life...

Love the show, it's nice to be here! And now for my final number, the one

you've all been waiting for, a little something we like to call Ode to Joy!

-We're not supposed to be here!

-Quit worrying, Dr C.

You could use a little Ode to Joy in your life.

# Angels, angels, rock on with me

# How often do you get to say?

# Jump around and shake your body

# Rock out now, no time to waste

# There's no doubt you'll grin with gladness

# As you dance the night away

# Sharing this eternal madness

# Twist and shout the night away. #

It's the year 2450

and they still haven't invented jet packs?

# Here in heaven...

# Show you how much joy there is

# Check out Dr C, he's jiving

# Even angels love showbiz. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I love it up here!

We're going to set this charge an Alpha Sector 17.

-Then get ready to run, Cosmonaut Claire.

-Got it.

Jane! Claire! It's me, Cosmonaut Carl.

We've got to get out of here.

Cosmonaut Carl?

Not on my watch.

-What are you doing?

-Saving you. Bruce wants you dead

for the bounty on your head. I'm going to save you instead.

-Man, this movie has weak dialogue.

-Bravo, Cosmonaut Carl.

You're right, I am going to double-cross you.

-Right now!

-Bruce, how could you?!

They're lucky the core has such a strong gravitational pull.

If that bomb goes off, it'll start a nuclear reaction

that will cause the virus to mutate and spread across the entire galaxy!

-Cover me.

-Where are you going?

-To save the universe.

-Carl! I've been hit!

-Score one for Carl.

Man, why can't you be like that out here?

I'd already have my angel wings.

SHE GROANS

I've disarmed the bombs, are you OK?

It'll take a lot more than the flesh wound to stop Cosmonaut Claire.

We have to get back to the gates before they close.

-But Bruce is blocking our escape.

-Prepare to be disintegrated.

You first.

Ugh! Aaaagh!

Nice shot!

Thanks for your help, Cosmonaut Carl, I couldn't have done it

-without you.

-You mean you couldn't save the entire universe without me?

-SIREN BLARES

-Bruce must have rearmed the bombs,

we have to go back and stop him.

The explosion will cause a super-virus that'll destroy us all.

Don't worry, I reset the bombs' blast radius to zero.

-I knew Bruce would do this.

-How could you?

-Space pirates always go rogue.

-Carl?we go...

-Yeah?

-Before

After all this madness, I'm taking you to Beachtopia.

But I didn't pack my space-kini.

We made it. Porter, now! Porter?!

Carl, Jane?

-Are you OK?

-Of course, why wouldn't I be?

I'm about to watch the best movie of all time.

Where did that guy pretending to be Space Pirate Bruce go?

I had some more questions to ask him.

He had to catch the last spaceship home.

I can't wait for the movie to start. I hope Claire and Space Pirate Bruce

get their happy ending. Ooh, I'm going to get some popcorn.

-Carl, you want some?

-Yeah, sure, thanks.

Jane doesn't remember anything from her time in the movie.

-At least you got your movie date.

-Excelsior!

-At least here we'll have better seats.

-Better seats?

There we were on stage. Listen, I'm sorry I ever doubted you.

From now on, it's all good.

You think we should warn Jane that Bruce double-crosses Claire?

Nah. You know how much she hates spoilers.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd