Magical Kiss-tery Tour Wingin' It

I am glad I brought my lunch today.

Yup. The tuna surprise is there's always not enough tuna

and way too much surprise.

I've been thinking about your problem, Carl.

What problem?

-Your whole, "I'm too chicken to tell Jane how I really feel" thing.

-Oh!

That problem. So many to keep track of.

How is this any of your concern, Denise?

Until I'm reassigned, I have to drum up business.

Anyway, I know exactly what Carl should do. After all, I'm a girl.

-Yeah. Now.

-The point is, girls like confidence.

-You lost me at confidence.

-Jane just needs to see a big

-romantic gesture and you'll totally win her over.

-Well, like what?

Just go over there and kiss her. She'll totally love it.

-BOTH: Never gonna happen.

-That's why I've decided

-you need a kiss enchantment.

-Whoa, whoa, and I say again, whoa.

-I'm Carl's AIT, not you.

-Well, what's a kiss enchantment?

-You don't want to know.

-I want to.

-He wants to.

It's magic that gives you the courage to kiss someone.

And if you like them and they like you, you see fireworks.

-If not, nothing changes.

-Well, that actually sounds like a good idea.

-Why haven't you brought this up?

-Yeah.

Love magic is hard to get right.

-Not if you know what you're doing.

-I want to try it.

-OK, you've got it!

Hold on there, Snappy. Carl is my assignment.

If he wants a kiss, I'm going to be the one to give it to him.

I mean, not give it to him, not like kissing or anything.

I'm gonna use angel magic. You know what I'm talking about.

Now, kiss enchantment makes you kiss the first person you see.

-So you've got to make sure the first person you see is Jane.

-Got it.

Jane, I've got something for ya.

How's that for a romantic gesture?

# Let's give it one more shot

# Let's give it everything we've got

# Cos if we get it right

# We will surely conquer the world

# Hey! I've got my wings from an angel

# Now we're wingin' it all the time

# I'm giving the wings to an angel Always an angel

# Now we've got to learn to fly. #

I am so sorry, Jane.

And you too, Melissa!

-Is it bleeding? I think it's bleeding.

-Jane, I am...

-Oh!

-I think I used the wrong enchantment.

-Captain Obvious called.

Wants his costume back.

I just kissed the wrong girl!

Now I've got a Jane-shaped nose dent on my head!

-Ta-da.

-All right. Let's see what went wrong.

OK...

Ah, see, I was right.

First kiss enchantment.

First kiss enchantment?

-Jane and I have already had a first kiss!

-What? When?

Last year, during the school play.

-Wow.

-That wasn't real.

-It was real to me.

You may be the last true romantic.

So, that's why your lips avoided Jane. First kiss

enchantment won't allow you to kiss anyone you've already kissed.

And there's something else. Now Melissa's enchanted, too.

Carl's kiss enchantment didn't allow Carl to kiss Jane.

They already had their first kiss. But Carl hadn't kissed Melissa

and since Melissa was the next girl he saw - smooch-o.

And Carl passed the kiss enchantment onto her.

Now she's going to kiss somebody.

-I bet you wish you'd let me do the magic, don't you?

-Kind of.

-Hey!

I mean, it was kind of you to ask, Denise, but I'm not switching AIT's.

-No big deal. Just wait till next time you kiss Jane.

-What next time?

Anyone who's been enchanted can never kiss the same person twice,

which means until the whole enchantment chain breaks,

-Carl won't be able to kiss Jane again.

-WHAT?!

If you're enchanted, you can't kiss

anyone you've ever kissed before. So Carl can't kiss Jane.

It also says you can't kiss anyone else who's been enchanted.

Your lips will be repelled from them as long as the enchantment's

-still going.

-Worst of all, the kiss enchantment can't be broken until

the enchanted kisser kisses someone they really like.

-And I mean like-like.

-And it doesn't take a genius to

figure out how the kiss enchantment could spiral out of control,

until everyone in the world has been kissed by someone enchanted.

You could end up with a world where no-one could kiss anyone ever again!

Ugh, is it too late to switch to you?

-Only if you kiss me.

-I'd love to, but I'm a one-woman man.

Well, actually, I don't have the woman yet,

so I guess I'm a no-woman man.

-Melissa's been in the washroom forever.

-She's really embarrassed.

So, tell me something, Porter, have you ever kissed a girl?

What? Of course! I've kissed plenty of girls!

You've never kissed a girl!

Shhh! Angels aren't supposed to do those things and romances with

humans are way too complicated.

I'll take that as a no to the kiss question.

-But don't you want to know what it's like?

-You haven't, either?

Sadly, I'm a several hundred year old girl who's never been kissed.

-I'm sure age has nothing to do with that.

-Hey, if I can go another

250 years I get a certificate and a free sub sandwich.

Excuse me? Am I hallucinating, or are you sitting in my seat?

Off you go. All of you!

Miss Hanson, uh, what are you doing?

Disinfecting my seat.

There are no assigned seats in the Bennett High eating area.

Oh, uh, well, except for Spencer and that's only

-because he refuses to bend his legs.

-I always sit here.

It has the perfect sun-shade ratio.

This seat is a Hanson tradition.

My mother sat here when she went to Bennett High,

as did my grandmother before her,

and her mother before her...

and her mother before her...

Since the dawn of the cave man.

Brittany, this school is only 35 years old.

Attention, everyone! I want you all to keep in mind

that there are no assigned seats! Everyone may sit wherever they wish.

Dr Cassabi, I will not stand for this!

Unfortunately, you'll have to stand, cos now you have no seat.

If you want that seat at lunch, you better get here early.

'Sup?

All right. We just have to wait and see who Melissa passes

the enchantment kiss onto.

OK, there she goes. Act casual.

Melissa just kissed Michael.

They must be the two shyest kids in the school.

You got the kiss enchantment under control yet?

We would if you'd get out of the way!

Sorry! Just trying to help!

Nice job, Porter! Now it's gone viral.

-You could say it's a kiss-tastrophe.

-Could, but don't.

Oh, my! All the students are out of control!

This...is...a kiss-tastrophe!

That's what I said!

# You kids stop kissing in the hallways!

# The next one I catch is going to get detention!

# I'm so upset I can't even rhyme!

# That's not something I needed to mention! #

Hold it...

Detention, mention - OK, I'm back.

-Brittany just kissed Agnes.

-Agnes just kissed Bradley.

Bradley kissed a different Agnes than the first Agnes.

Agnes is such an unusual name. What are the odds there'd be two

kissed on the exact same day?

What are the odds of a school being affected by an out of control

kissing enchantment, created by an angel in training?

When that AIT is Porter, I'd say the odds are pretty good.

We're trying to keep on top of this.

-Oh, the enchantment passed to Linda.

-She just passed it to Serge.

Grab him before this goes further. I am scared for whoever he kisses.

All right... Whoa, whoa... I don't see him. Do you see him?

The one day I try not to avoid Serge and I can't find him?!

Serge! You will not believe what Dr Cassabi has done to me,

done to you and to anybody who's anybody!

Serge! OK, I get it. I am super-hot, so I'll give you a pass this time.

-Alex!

-Thanks for the kiss! It's like you put my cheek to sleep

and then woke it back up again!

I think we found the enchantment.

Now we can stop the kissing chain.

No!

-Gotcha.

-Alex, you're going to have to come with us.

What is this? A buffet?

How are things going, Miss Hanson?

Terribly, Dr Cassabi. Now that you've taken away my seat

everything has spiralled into total chaos!

-It's the ladybug Effect.

-You mean the, uh, Butterfly Effect.

What-evs. It's named after a bug, because it BUGS everyone!

I have lost my seat

and the whole school's social order has collapsed.

We are not mammals, Dr Cassabi!

Well, actually, we are.

This is normally where the popular kids sit. In the sun.

But now look... it's the Listern sisters,

With their pale skin, they are going to be lobsters by fifth period!

-Well, everyone needs some vitamin D.

-And poor Jasmine!

She is the second most beautiful girl in the school and she's forced

to sit with the Larpers.

That's right, I said Larpers!!!

LARP stands for "live-action roleplaying. "

I wear my larping costume under my regular clothes at all times.

Under that, another larping costume!

I'm ready to larp anytime!

Look at this tragedy!

Bennett High's best athlete is eating his lunch on the ground!

On the ground!!!

Brittany, Brittany, if you put this much passion into your homework,

you'd be on the honour role.

If I wanted guidance from the guidance counsellor,

I would book an appointment. All I want is my seat back!

But we are all equal under the Bennett Bears banner!

We live in a democracy here!

We can squash the social hierarchy!

But...I hate squash! The vegetable, not the game!

OK, I hate the game, too!!!

-Serge!!!

-'Sup?

-I need your help.

You going to slap me again?

I can't promise anything.

OK, look, we know this is awkward, but we need to know who you like.

I like lots of people, like mimes, magicians, my Aunty Mazie...

She smells like mothballs, but she's family.

No, I mean is there anyone that you like-like?

Don't know, don't know.

Is today double-talk Tuesday?

What about the Listern sisters? I see Alex with them all the time.

Yeah, we could finally end this.

Alex? Oh, no! We lost the kiss enchantment again!?

-Oh, no!

-Hey, Alex.

-Must...kiss...Jane.

-Huh?

NOOOOOOOOO!!!

This...is flagrant violation of my no-kissing announcement.

You two just bought yourself a lunchtime detention.

Your chariot awaits.

Let's see how Dr Cassabi likes not having HIS favourite seat!

This is the worst day ever!

Worse than the time we went swimming

and swallowed my nose plugs?

Yes. First Carl headbutts me, then you kiss me...

-No offence.

-None taken.

And now I'm in detention.

Girls who get detention don't get into Harvard!

Do you know what happens to girls who get detention?

Ugh! If only I'd never had that first detention.

-We have the kiss enchantment quarantined.

-But how to stop this?

-Man, that lucky Alex got to kiss Jane.

-That's it!

I know how to fix this! I'll kiss Jane!

Oh! You'll kiss Jane! Why didn't I think of that?!

OK, no, listen - I'll kiss Jane then I'll take the kiss enchantment.

Then I'll beam away and kiss this really cute AIT

that I've been flirting with.

You know, I like-like her, she like-likes me, we kiss,

fireworks, enchantment's over, problem solved.

All right, I guess it's worth a shot. But don't linger, that's my girl.

You, uh, probably want to go for a walk, though.

-This isn't something you really want to see.

-Yeah, you're probably right.

-Hey, Alex.

-Hey, Porter.

-Jane, how's it going?

-How do you think it's going?

I'm in detention, Porter. I can't even breathe, my nose is so swollen.

-No! Alex, move! You...walk... that way!

-Jane.

Get out of the way!

BOTH: Wow...

-Oh! Uh, Jane, uh, are you all right?

-Never been better!

-What about your nose and detention and...

-Oh, those things? Pffft.

-Nose feels great, detention's over.

-Right, right...

Hey, don't tell anyone,

-but Porter just kissed me.

-Oh, he kissed you?

-Actually, I kissed him.

-Right, right...

I wasn't expecting it at all.

-You never do. Ha!

-And I know this sounds cliched, but I saw fireworks.

-Wow.

-I've got to stop by my locker, I'll see you in drama.

Yeah! Drama! That's where I'll see you... That's just what I need.

More drama.

'Oh, Dr Cassabi, I've been waiting for you.'

And I've been waiting for you. 'I love hanging out with you!'

And I love hanging out with you... ARGH!

Sufferin' Seraphim, where's my chair?

Ahhh...!

-Oh, I'm sorry. Is this your seat?

-Yes.

-Since 1987. But that's OK.

-Ah.

Just cos I'm your boss, Dr Cassabi, don't feel you need to move.

No, that's OK.

This seat suits you much better.

Oh!

-Let me guess.

-We could share the chair if you like, Dr Cassabi?

-Uh, no, no, that's OK. It's all yours.

-OK.

Ahem.

I said, "Ahem!"

Ah. Mr Dolby. Uh, uh, did you see the Aurora Borealis last night?

-It was redonkulous!

-Don't sweet-talk me with science!

-You're in my seat!

-But, Mr Dolby, we don't have to have an assigned seat.

-Yeah, that's rich.

-Well, there's no social hierarchy here.

-No social hierarchy?

-THEY LAUGH

-It's the only thing we've got!

-But Mrs Lennox, everyone is equal.

-Equal-schmequal!

-Does the gazelle eat the lion?

-Does the sun revolve around the moon?

-Does a noun modify an adjective?

-There is a social order.

-GET OUT.

-OF.

-HIS CHAIR!

HE SIGHS

Well played, Brittany...

well played.

In today's drama class, we are going to do a warm up exercise

that helps us get in touch with the inanimate.

We're all going to imagine ourselves as kernels of popcorn!

So, Porter, how's that, uh, so-called AIT that you allegedly like-like?

-What's her name again?

-Oh, uh, Jessica.

-Jessica!

-At least you got the J right.

-OK!

Let's put the popcorn on the stove. Here we go. And turn up the heat.

-Do you feel it? Do you feel the heat? OK, pop...pop...

-Pop.

-Pop...

So, I guess, since the, uh, kiss enchantment is broken,

-I've got the all-clear to kiss Jane.

-Uh...

Last time I checked, popcorn didn't say anything but pop!

-Pop.

-Pop.

-Pop!

-Pop.

You know what? I think I'll kiss Jane right now.

Right in the middle of class?

Yeah, you got a problem with that?

Well, why don't you wait until you're somewhere

a little less...public?

Nah. I think I'll do it right now.

-Pop. Pop!

-Pop...

-OK, things are getting hotter!

Some of you are going to come close to turning into yummy popcorn!

-Hey, Jane. Pop. How are ya?

-Pretty fantastic! Pop!

-You know what? Can you stop popping for a sec?

-Why?

Pop your socks off!

-It's a drama class miracle...

-Yeah...a miracle.

I feel terrible for dumping popcorn on my good buddy,

but if I'd let him go through with it, he'd have been heartbroken.

How could I know Jane would see fireworks?

If I hadn't beamed down to be Carl's AIT,

Jane might be liking Carl right now instead of yours truly.

Brittany, I've been thinking about what you said

and I decided you may have your assigned seat.

Finally! I mean, thank you, Dr Cassabi!

Serge, there's no need to bolt Dr Cassabi's chair to the ceiling!

-What?

-Too late.

Don't worry, I can deal with that.

Attention, students, this is now Brittany's permanent seat.

Listen up, everybody, the social order

of Bennett High has been restored. Everyone, back to your seats!

Porter... Porter!

Nice trick with the popcorn(!)

You should get a job at the movie theatres.

-I love movies with fireworks.

-How'd you find out?

-Jane told me.

-Dude, I'm...

I'm an angel, she's human, there's no way this could go anywhere.

-Yeah, and neither can what I feel for Jane.

-Carl, wait.

Uh, hey, Jane. I have to tell you something

and if I don't say it now, I might never say it.

Is it the nose? I know it looks bad. I'm going to the doctor.

No, no, no, your nose is fine.

OK, look, um, ever since we did the play last year and we kissed,

I've had the biggest crush on you and I didn't want to say anything

because I thought it would ruin our friendship, but I need to say this...

I like you. All right?

I mean, I LIKE like you, Jane. OK. It's done. It's over.

I don't have to say anything else and you don't have to say anything back.

OK, well, you could say something.

One thing, maybe?

Anything? Anything at all?

-Can you at least tell me that you're speechless?

-I'm flattered

-and a little bit relieved.

-Relieved?

It explains why you were acting like a crazy person

since the beginning of the year.

Yeah, um...

But starting tomorrow, that's all going to go back to normal.

-Right?

-Please!

-We're still friends?

-Best friends forever!

-Ha...

BFFs. Wow, you really know how to kick a guy when he's down.

Do I like Porter?

Yes. Am I going to tell Porter?

Never. Why? Because his best friend just told me that he liked liked me.

Am I going to be depressed about this romantic triangle

for a long time? Probably.

Am I asking questions and then answering them myself?

Yes. Is it incredibly annoying? Absolutely.

Sorry. Yeah, I saw everything.

-Jane doesn't know what she's missing.

-Thanks.

For what it's worth, I'm not doing too well

in the romance department either. At least you got to kiss her once.

I've never been kissed.

Ever.

See ya later.

Wow.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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