Err a Parent Wingin' It

# Goin' on a field trip... # Thank you.

# Hand in your permission forms. #

Excuse me, gentlemen.

It's officially the end of school day,

and neither of you handed in a permission form

for the field trip to the museum.

-Signed, sealed and delivered, sir.

-Porter, where's yours?

Right here, sir.

Oh, uh, Macy?

-You didn't get my mom to sign your form?

-I forgot.

I hope you didn't fake her signature. We'll get in trouble.

And we're still on parole after our last grounding.

-What we've got here is failure to coordinate.

-Communicate.

-You're right, your mom is one tough warden.

-Yeah.

Porter?

Artie Jackson? Your father?

-Yes, it is.

-I thought he was in Vancouver.

He is, but he's in town for some business, uh...

he's staying at Carl's. Right, Carl?

Oh, yeah. We just called my house, and Porter talked to him.

Well, it's nice having dad in town for a visit, I bet.

Oh, you know what? Matter of fact, I'll give Artie a call.

Let him know how well you're doing here at Bennett High.

# It's giving 'em one more shot

# It's giving everything you've got

# Cos if we get it right

# We will surely conquer the world

# I've got my wings running, angel

# Now we're wingin' it all the time

# I'm giving wings to an angel

# On the wings of an angel

# Now we've gotta learn to fly. #

Principal Malone is going to call home! What do we do?

We could beam into space, dismantle the phone company's satellite.

Magic up some spacesuits and a rocket?

Or I could just beam us home in time to intercept his call?

Sure. If you want to take the easy route.

Do you not know me by now?

Attention. I have an important announcement.

Gobsmack is having a contest to promote its new flavour of juice.

If we submit a video, we could win a year supply of Gobsmack juice.

So, I thought, who better to do this than me? Brittany.

Who is that again?

There is a lot of work to be done, and I don't want to do it,

so...

sign up if you're interested. And obviously, you're interested.

Yes!

And my long streak of being the first name continues!

Wait. What are we signing up for?

To organise the spectacular...

Stop, right there. You had me at "organise".

I love to organise. I'm in the Organising Club.

I actually organised the Organising Club. And now I'm in a new club.

I wonder what it is? No matter, I'll organise it.

I'm sorry, Sophie, but I really need those pants.

I don't care if you need them too.

Listen. Here's the deal... If you can get Rachel to...

Get off the phone. We have an important call coming in.

Hold on... Call schmall!

So, Sophie, if you can get Rachel to lend me those pants, you can

borrow my DVD player for a week.

Let's go! End the conversation!

But if you want the ear buds, get Lily to lend me her belt!

I managed to get a lot of people to sign up,

no small thanks to my organisational skills.

OK, this list really should've been more exclusive.

The Listern sisters?

OK, fine, but only if you dye your hair blonde.

That wasn't very nice. We need all the help we can get.

The only help I need in this video is deciding which smile I'll use.

This one?

Or this one?

Which one do you think?

Please, Jane, can you stop with the bug-eyed thing?

It'll give you wrinkles.

We really, really need that phone, Becky.

OK... Her purple skull and crossbone leggings? OK, I'm listening.

PHONE BEEPS

Hold on, I got another call.

Hello?

Uh-huh... Yeah... Whatever. Hold on.

-Who is it?

-Um, Pringles? Pringles go home?

-Principal Malone!

-Sure.

-Becky, get off the phone!

Not until my deal goes through!

We've got to do something.

Can't you beam her to the moon? She loves to travel.

I can't do magic on her. But I can do magic for her. Watch this.

Yeah, so can I borrow them?

CLEARS THROAT

Um, hold on...

Uh, sorry, Sophie - you snooze, you lose!

-You talk to Principal Malone.

-You.

-Why me?

-You're closer to the phone.

-Uh, hello?

-'Who's this?'

Yes, this is, uh, Mr Jackson.

Deeper, deeper!

Uh, Artie, Artie Jackson.

-Yes, that's Artie, uh, with two Ts and, uh, a Q.

-'A Q?'

That's, that's the, uh...

The Portuguese spelling.

Yeah, that's the Portuguese spelling. HA HA HA!

He says you're a great principal, you really connect with the kids.

-Oh, well, thank you, Mr Jackson.

-Oh, please, please, call me Artie.

-Artie it is.

-It is. Well, I should get going, Principal.

PHONE KEYS BEEP

Hello? Hello?

-Hello.

-Is this Mama Bea's Pizza?

Uh, no, this is Principal Malone, Mrs Montclaire.

I must have misdialled. I was trying to order pizza for dinner.

-I mean, normally, I cook, but...

-HE LAUGHS

Who's that? Hello?

You picked up when I was talking to Porter's dad.

-Listen, Artie, I'll let you go and enjoy your visit. OK? Goodbye.

-Artie!

You're downstairs?

Uh... I, I must be.

How exciting! I'll be right down!

I think we're in deep, deep trouble, son.

-OK, what are our options?

-Wh... Our options? You mean YOUR options.

My mom is real and she's coming down to meet your imaginary dad.

OK, OK...

Undo magic. Mexican vacation magic.

We're running out of time!

Time. Time magic! That's it!

Artie!

We only have 30 seconds. That's as long as I can stop time for.

How are we going to keep track of it?

Like watching a bomb countdown before the explosion.

"Cut the green wire. No, the red wire." "There's two red wires!"

Did I just feel a temporal shift

or should I have skipped that breakfast burrito?

Somebody's doing time magic.

Yeah, and somebody's being annoying. Not now, Denise!

You can only stop time for 30 seconds? Not bad.

I once stopped time for 42 seconds, but who's counting?

-We literally don't have time for this!

-No problem.

-Ooh, 50 seconds. A new personal best.

-Stop showing off.

I'm helping. In fact, just give me a little bit of room.

Check this out.

Voila!

Artie Jackson, pleasure to meet you, Carl!

Yes, we've met before, my son, give me a pound.

-There's no way you're playing my dad.

-Why?

-One, I don't trust you. Two, refer back to one.

-Tick tock, Porter!

The only way this can to happen is if you put a one-day time limit

-on this transformation.

-You don't trust me?

-Absolutely not.

I've been thinking about this,

and if I can get Porter tossed off his assignment to make Carl popular,

then Dr Cassabi can concentrate on me,

and I can finally get off AIT probation.

No time limit, no deal.

Fine!

Done.

Angie!

Ha ha ha ha!

What a pleasure to see you.

Oh, how fancy, Artie! Are you staying for dinner?

Oh, I wouldn't miss it for the world.

-Isn't that right, my little Popo?

-Popo... That's adorable.

-Don't you think so? Popo.

-Popo.

Hey.

Boy, you were a big baby, Porter.

It looks like someone shoved a diaper onto a beach ball.

I'm sorry - the pictures are fake, but the laughs are real.

Oh, once you started dancing ballet, we couldn't get him out of the tutu!

-Oh, Popo in a tutu.

-I didn't know you took ballet.

I never took ballet.

Oh, don't be embarrassed to admit that! Huh!

Ballet's for boys, too. Show us some of your moves, I know you want to.

Oh, I'd pay to see that.

-ALL CHANT:

-Popo, Popo, Popo,

Popo,

Popo, Popo,

Popo, Popo...

Oh, now that's a jette!

Great. Perfect. Hold it right there, you look amazing.

Where's Brittany?

We've been waiting here for hours.

Have a bit more enthusiasm. You look like you work

in sadness factories, and if you did,

wouldn't you be happy you had jobs?

OK. This is what happens if you don't work hard enough.

Em, you're fired. Out.

-Alex, you're in.

-What?

Jane, what have we got?

Er, OK, Brittany, let's have you up here in the centre.

Perfect, great, OK.

-And...action!

-Cut!

-What now?!

-My lip gloss doesn't look good in this sunlight.

Let's wait until the sun gets higher.

The sun won't be higher until tomorrow.

Maybe if you were a bit more organised, Jane.

OK, that's a wrap for today, but we'll be back tomorrow morning.

Hopefully, you'll have your stuff together by then.

Oh, what a lovely, lovely family.

OK, it's time to go. Enough is enough.

But feel free to leave the photos.

At least the one of Porter potty-training.

-That's kind of funny!

-Artie, how do you take your tea?

-To go.

-Uh, yeah, his flight leaves in two hours.

Oh, and here's your plane ticket.

Oh. Well, you know, I was thinking about calling the airlines

and, uh, you know, changing my flight.

-But you're flying to Nepal, there's only one flight a week.

-Nepal!

Not unless I fly through

Henri Coanda International Airport in Bucharest.

Bucharest, beautiful.

-I doubt you'll get your visa in time.

-But I thought that...

Dad, I think it's time for you to go.

Oh. OK.

Angela, thank you so much for your hospitality.

Oh, it's so great to see you.

You come back any time.

I will.

And, Carl, bye.

And you...oh, yes, my little Popo.

-All right, that's, that's, that's enough.

-My little boy.

I think we're good, Dad.

Oh, my little Popo, I'm going to miss you!

Uh, this is really, really, really, uncomfortable now!

And don't you ever stop dancing!

Yeah!

That is so sweet.

Carl, honey, do you want to take ballet?

Well, I've seen what it's done for Porter. Sure, why not?

I have arrived.

You're over an hour late!

I needed my beauty rest - you should try it.

We don't have enough time. School is about to start.

We'll shoot it after school.

Be here immediately after the final bell -

if you're late, you're not in the video.

You can't treat people this way.

I don't have to listen to you. I am the star!

And I am the director.

-Star!

-Director!

A star is in the sky above everything else

and needs to be appreciated by the people below.

Directors are people!

Direct your attention to this petition to quit.

Who wants to leave a project where their talents aren't appreciated?

You'll notice my name is first.

I'll miss Uncle Artie. We could have been buddies.

You realise you're talking about a fake uncle?

You're my fake cousin, I don't mind having you around.

Denise may have had fun, but I hated it.

I'm glad she's gone. I don't trust her.

-And I can see why.

-Hey!

Ha ha ha ha! Hey, Popo, gimme a pound.

-Carl.

-Thanks for coming in, Mr Jackson.

-I'll have those forms processed right away.

-What forms?

Your father's having you transferred back to Vancouver.

I can't believe Denise got me transferred.

Can't we stop this?

Principal Malone thinks it's my dad. That makes it official.

I never though I'd see the day where someone had Porter Jackson's number.

She doesn't. She doesn't even have my area code.

-It's time we got Dr Cassabi to bail us out.

-No way.

If word got out I went to Dr Cassabi for help with another AIT,

I'll be the laughing stock of the AIT world forever!

I'm going to miss you then, man.

I'm not going anywhere. Denise wants to play? Game on.

Popo, just on my way to sign the papers authorising your transfer!

If she calls me "Popo" one more time...

Time! Artie has got to be closing in on his one-day time limit.

OK, Carl. Go stall him and make sure he doesn't sign that transfer paper.

I'll be right back.

-Uh, hey, Alex! Have you met Porter's dad, Artie?

-Hi.

Artie, Alex. Alex, Artie.

Artie here would love to learn all about unicorns.

REALLY?! You're in luck! I'm a unicornithologist!

Did you know a pack of unicorns is called a blessing?

It would be a blessing if you never mentioned that again.

Did you know a unicorn horn is called an alacorn? It can cut diamonds!

-Wow.

-Did you know unicorns can run 3,000 miles an hour?

Carl!

Spencer, what is going on?

YOU are giving me the silent treatment?

I invented the silent treatment!

OK, well, maybe you guys did, but I use it a lot!

-Jane!

-Suck an egg.

-Ugh! OK, this is what I'm talking about!

How come everybody is being so over mean to me?

What goes around, comes around.

Don't you try to use your fancy psychology talk on me, Jane!

The music video is going up in flames, and I have no idea why.

Brittany, you were horrible to everyone!

Everyone was horrible to me, first!

No, they weren't.

They wanted to help, but you were rude and unappreciative.

Sometimes friendship means seeing things

from other people's perspectives.

-Everybody is different heights, that is impossible!

-You're impossible!

Try putting yourself in someone else's shoes!

I would never wear something non-designer. Unless I was a loser.

I can PRETEND to be a loser.

Oh, everybody, look at me! I'm a loser!

My name is Jane! And I have a bus pass, and my mom,

she still writes my name on my brown paper lunch bag,

that I have already used three times before.

Forget all of you!

I'm going to make this music video all by myself!

# Gobsmack, it helps you when you're feeling wack!

# Gobsmack!

# I need...

# To get everybody...back. #

I guess I'm not on a island - I do need other people.

# Well, it's a "u" and a "k"

# And a "u" and a "lay" and a leeeeeeeeeeeeeee...eeeee. #

OK, that's enough of that, Carl.

Oh, but it's so beautiful, Principal Malone. Just one more time, please?

You're too kind.

# I once... #

KNOCK ON DOOR

-Go away! We're busy!

-No, please.

Unicorns were are hunted for their horns, cos if you lick them...

Principal Malone!

-Mr Jackson. Why, I just printed off those transfer forms.

-Ah, Carl.

Ugh. Sorry. Allergies.

No worries. That was a Chinese take-out menu I keep getting faxed.

So, here's the transfer form, Mr Jackson.

Oh, wait, Principal Malone!

Just...I want you to take a minute and think about

what the school would be like without Porter Jackson.

If Porter Jackson leaves this school,

then a bright, shining star dims at Bennett High.

The cafeteria food will taste blander,

the school bell will ring duller,

the library will be too quiet.

But if Porter Jackson stays, then Bennett High will shine on.

Shine on, Bennett High, shine on.

Carl, that was beautiful.

So, Mr Jackson, on the bottom line there.

Oh, thank you very much.

Hold that pen!

You got to fight fire with fire.

Hello, Principal Malone.

-I'm Porsha Jackson, Porter's mom.

-Lovely to meet you.

This is a surprise.

I'd say so.

Oh, my Artie bear! Come here!

OK. OK.

That's, that's too much now.

OK, OK... OK... OK!

Oh, and my favourite nephew. Carl, give me a hug too!

Gimme a hug.

Is the rumour true? Brittany's apologising to everyone?

She really wants to make the Gobsmack music video.

Or she can't handle being unpopular. Either way, it's kind of sweet.

Girls, I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.

It will never happen again.

Hi, Jane.

I wanted to officially apologise about my rude behaviour

during the music video.

I appreciate how hard you were working

-to make it great.

-Wow! Thanks, Brittany.

I'm trying to see things

-from other people's perspectives. Like you said.

-Brittany,

I think you've really turned a corner.

You know, we still have four hours until we have to upload the video

for the Gobsmack contest. We can still do this.

But you'll do most of it, right?

Always the kidder.

Now, that is acting.

I think we need to sign Porter's transfer now.

Oh, not so fast! I've got some great news.

Arthur's company's building a new plant in Bulgaria.

-And the best part, Arthur's been named supervisor.

-Congratulations.

Yes, that's fantastic. I think we should pack Porter's bags now.

He is going to love Bulgaria.

But Porter's really enjoying his time here at Bennett High.

We don't want to be traipsing him all over.

Oh, yes, but what better way to learn it then to study there?

-Isn't that right, Principal Malone?

-Absolutely.

Every teenager needs a stable high school experience.

-Right, Principal Malone?

-Absolutely.

In a situation where neither one of us wants to lose face,

we sit back quietly and give everything time.

Don't we, Arthur?

Oh, wow, look at the time. A minute to Denise.

Ha, ha, ha!

Porter can stay.

Nice work, Porsha!

Carl!

Argh!

Don't mind my Arthur.

Well, that was dramatic, wasn't it? That settles it, I guess.

Porter stays at Bennett High.

# Gob-go, hey yo

# Crave a snack for on the go!

# Break it down, jump around

# The best in town! Oh, yeah! #

-What is this?

-They must be shooting the Gobsmack commercial.

Find the most creative use for Gobsmack.

-Gelatine cubes?

-I guess so.

-Let's get in there.

-All right.

# Gob-go, hey, yo

# Greatest snack for on the go

# Break it down, jump around

# Giant grape, the best in town

# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. #

Gobsmacked!

# Break it down, jump around

# Giant grape, the best in town. #