What I Re-Like About You Wingin' It

If you really are what you eat, then I'd be a total ham.

And I'd be a little cheesy.

Hey. We're having a silent fire drill right now.

We need to evacuate the school. Tell no-one!

So, if you really are what you eat, then I guess I'd be rye.

Get it? Rye bread, wry humour.

SHE LAUGHS

I don't get it! But you are so funny.

Thanks, Melissa.

Carl! Hi! So, do you think this shirt matches these pants

or is it more these pants matching this shirt? Sorry, Melissa,

-this is really urgent.

-Absolutely.

I'll just sit in the hall and give you guys some space.

-So, Carl, any ideas?

-I...don't know, Jane,

I guess they match each other.

SHE GASPS Very insightful, Carl.

What am I doing?

Every time I see Carl with a girl, I have to get in there and interfere.

What does that mean?

Principal Malone is really mad at you.

You should go to his office right away. I think you've been expelled.

GIRL GASPS

Carl, hi.

So, what's new?

Oh, no, no, no, no!

I like Carl.

# Let's give it one more shot

# Let's give it everything we've got

# Cos if we get it right

# We will surely conquer the world

# Hey! I've got my wings

# From an angel

# Now we're wingin' it all the time

# I'm giving wings to an angel

# Always an angel

# Now we've got to learn to fly. #

Have you noticed anything weird about Jane lately?

No. Her level of weirdness is the same as always.

BANGING

Speaking of weird, I should check in on Denise.

Later.

Why so glum, chum?

I've got a lot on my mind.

-It's not the whole I've still got feelings for Carl thing, is it?

-No.

Even though I guess I still do. This is something much bigger.

-All right, spill.

-I've been trying to get a meeting with Ms Stern

to show her a list of all my accomplishments.

-You know, down here on Earth.

-Oh, Earth. Is that where we are(?)

Ha-ha, funny(!)

Anyway, if Ms Stern could see what I've been doing over the last year,

I know she'd give me my Angel-In-Training assignment.

Good for you.

It would be. Except she's never available. And I mean never!

She has lot of important things to deal with.

Are you saying that I'm not important?

No, you just did and I'm agreeing with you. High-five.

You know they do these things on Earth, right?

Hi, Britney. I have a problem.

I'll say. That top does not match those pants and vice versa.

Yeah, thanks. But that's not my problem. I like Carl.

Ooooh!

-But he no longer likes me.

-Oooh.

-Wait a minute. I thought you had a thing for Porter.

-How did you know?

Same way I knew that you traded those gross jeans

for one of Melissa's tops.

-It's like whole new wardrobe!

-And no-one will ever know.

Do these jeans match this top?

They totally do. Just like this top matches my jeans!

Ooh, yay for us!

Are you still with me? Britney?

Nope. Never have been, never will be.

I just pretend to be because you amuse me.

Look. You are the queen of romance. How do I get Carl to like me?

It's not a like situation. It's a re-like situation.

Carl already liked you, you must get him to re-like you.

-That sounds complicated.

-It is. You're very lucky you came to me

as I'm one of the few people that knows how to deal with re-liking.

-I didn't know liking and re-liking were so different.

-Hello!

If you just like somebody, you can be direct about it.

Allow me to demonstrate.

Serge!

Serge. You, me, dating, tonight, Yolanda's Diner, 6.30.

-But I'm already dating Cleo.

-Not any more. Break up with her.

-OK.

See? That was the direct way, which only works with liking.

-Re-liking is very different.

-Tell me more.

But if Jane likes Carl,

that would explain why he thought she was acting weird earlier.

So if Jane likes Carl, and Carl likes Jane, everybody wins!

Except Denise. Uh-oh.

Speaking of which, I should probably do some damage control.

I don't know how she's going to take this.

All right.

Time for a little identity change.

Ahem.

Ahem.

Yo, Denise!

Ms Stern! Ms Stern, wait!

Porter, where did Ms Stern go? I just saw her.

Oh, yeah, she was just down from upstairs giving me advice

-and getting new shoes. No biggie.

-What?!

Ms Stern is too busy to talk to me about my AIT assignment,

but she has time to talk shoes with Porter?!

What can I say? One of my feet is bigger than the other.

It's hard to find sizes. Anyway, gotta go. Meeting Ms Stern later.

Wherever Porter goes, I'm going.

HE HUMS

Ooh, they got mixed sizes! Right 10 and left 7.

SQUEAKING

Denise, I know you're here. Stop hovering in stealth mode.

What are you doing?!

I'm going to stick to you like gum on a shoe.

At least until Ms Stern shows up.

I don't want you hanging around pestering me, Denise.

You've got no choice. I have to see Ms Stern.

All right, then I'll just beam myself out of here.

Not so fast, Porter. You're not going anywhere.

I just glued your gluteus maximus to the couch.

Stuck it to ya!

Huh!

Sit tight, PJ.

Go stealth yourself!

Sure.

Denise thinks she has me. But this I what I wanted all along.

As long as she's here with me, she isn't wherever Jane and Carl are.

Which means she doesn't see them together,

which means she doesn't get upset. I may not be Denise's biggest fan,

but I don't want to see her get upset either.

She isn't very nice when she's angry.

OK, off you go. And commit to the re-like.

-Really sell it.

-Got it.

So to get Carl to re-like Jane, she needs to flirt with him,

give him compliments and be really, really sweet.

-And bat her eyelashes, like a lot.

-Oh, you mean like be coy?

Coy?

No, this has nothing to do with being a pond fish, Jane.

Ha, she has so much to learn.

Hello, Carl.

You look devilishly handsome today.

Well, thank you.

You look like...

like you've got something in your eye.

There's an eyewash station in the chemistry class.

SHE LAUGHS

Oh, you're almost as funny as you are strong!

-And smart, too.

-Thank you.

Hey, is your hip OK? You seem to be favouring your left leg.

Oh, Carl. Sheesh.

SHE LAUGHS

Silly boy. Oh, this is how a lady stands when she's in the company

of a fine, young gentleman caller.

Oh, OK, I get it. You're rehearsing

for Ms Lennox's drama class, aren't you? Thank goodness.

For a minute there, I thought you lost your marbles.

No, me and my marbles are just fine, thank you. Good day.

Hey, Britney, is everything OK with Jane?

Boy, you are a dumb-dumb, Carl. And that is spelt with a capital L.

-What are you talking about?

-She likes you!

Jane likes Carl. She is Jane, you are Carl.

She, Jane, likes you, Carl. Get it?

Could you repeat that?

Jane likes you!

Yes! Yes! Wooooo! Ha-ha!

Ya-ha-ha-ha!

But you cannot let her know that you like her back

or else this whole thing is going to fall apart like a house

-of small cardboard rectangles you play games with.

-Cards?

It's totally simple. If like-like meets like-like, then that's fine.

And if re-like meets re-like, then that's also fine.

But if like-like meets re-like, that can turn into de-like.

And nobody likes that!

OK, so wait, what am I supposed to do?

Everything Jane does to attract you, you have to ignore.

-Like I'll do with your next question.

-That'll really work?

The only words I want to hear coming out of your mouth are,

"I will do whatever you say, Britney."

-I don't know, it sounds complicated.

-I'm not hearing those words, Carl.

I wonder what Porter would do in this situation.

First, I'd start you off in a magic suit of armour.

Then I'd give you a white stallion to ride on.

Then I would magic you an ocean of cotton candy with flowers

that sing in all the languages of love.

Then... Here's the best part...

OK, Britney, I'll do whatever you say.

-Shouldn't you be in school?

-It's a PA Day.

Thanks for sticking around to be our make-up model.

You couldn't get me out of this chair even if you tried.

Who's a pretty Porter?

This is getting old, Nise.

Who's Nise? I'm Becky.

Just stop talking, you're making me mess up your lipstick.

Dazzling nails, Porter, Party Pink is a really good colour on you(!)

Thanks, I was thinking the same(!) You are so going to pay for this.

I'll pay whatever I have to, for as long as I have to.

As long as I get to see Ms Stern about my AIT assignment.

-Yeah, she should be here any minute.

-Shhhh! It's glitter time.

SHE GIGGLES

Denise might want an AIT assignment,

but if she finds out about Carl and Jane,

she might do something reckless that'll lose her spot in line.

And she's so close.

Sometimes you gotta wear the rouge...to be kind.

I really tried hard to be super-flirty and sweet with Carl,

but I think I just made things worse. Your plan isn't working.

No, duh! It wasn't supposed to.

I just needed to know you would follow my advice.

Jane may be smart about books,

but I am smart about people liking other people.

And how do I know that? Because everybody likes me.

As long as Jane follows my directions,

then Carl should re-like her in no time.

Now, in order for this to work, I need to hear you say,

"Britney, I'll do whatever you say."

-OK, Britney, I will do whatever you say.

-Wow. That was easy.

-This is really important to me.

-Good.

-OK, you're ready for the next step.

-What is it?

Operation - Make Carl Jealous.

-You think jealousy will work?

-Are you questioning me?

-No, sorry!

-Tonight you are going on a date with Serge.

-I thought you were.

Serge.

-You, me, broken up.

-What? Serge never gets dropped from the team!

You, Jane, tonight, Yolanda's Diner, 6.30, going out.

Serge doesn't mind getting dropped if I'm being traded to another team.

Oh, Jane. Work that jealousy.

So what was it about me that made you want to go on a date?

Uh, your headband.

Hey, Carl. What's up?

Oh, hey. Didn't see you there.

You should get that vision checked, Montclaire.

So what's happening here?

Serge and I are going out. Today, on a date.

On today's date. At Yolanda's Diner.

6.30.

Cool. Er...

-I think I'll be there too.

-With who?

With whom.

Ugh, I'm such a fool.

I just don't know how to make Carl jealous when I like him so much.

Ugh, and I can't believe I misused the word whom.

But I did.

I am such an idiot.

I just do not know how to play it cool when I like Jane so much.

And I can't believe I corrected her on her misuse of the word whom!

Right, cool. With whom.

Well, I'm going to be there with...

Melissa! Ha-ha, yeah.

I knew hovering in your peripheral vision for the last three years

-would pay off, Carl.

-(Yeah. Be cool.)

All right, so me and Mel will see you tonight at Yolanda's.

This is going to be the best day of my life!

Everything's coming up Melissa!

I finally have a date with Carl, and he told me to be cool.

You guys want to double-date?

Cool.

-Cool.

-Cool.

-Cool.

Cool.

So who is Serge dating again?

-Me.

-Cool.

SHE SIGHS

Enjoy your book club, Porter.

Enjoy being an AIT forever, Denise.

As soon as I talk to Ms Stern,

I'll be well on my way to earning my angel wings.

Yeah, right(!)

Porter, are you OK? You're talking to yourself.

-Yeah, I'm just preparing for some great conversation.

-Well, then.

Let the People That Live East Of Seventh Avenue Book Club

come to order.

Did everyone read this week's book, The Road Home?

-Yes!

-And what do we think? Are we liking it?

I found it a bit...thinky.

-Mm-hm.

-Did anyone else find themselves thinking?

I found myself thinking a lot.

SHE TITTERS

Porter, what were your thoughts

on this story of a young girl's aspirational journey into womanhood?

Uh... I didn't read the material.

While I'm impressed that you're showing interest

in something grown-up, it might've helped to be more prepared.

Ha-ha.

Actually, um...

I read it.

-HIGH-PITCHED VOICE:

-I get really emotional talking about it.

-Ha-ha.

-That's OK.

You are going to love this next book.

It's second in the trilogy of the Road Home series.

Roadblocks - A Re-routed Road Home.

Yeah. I can't wait to pore over that one(!)

That looks very thinky.

And another thing about Serge is, he's really clean.

I never expected it, but he's really into personal hygiene.

Personal hygiene?

-I thought you were only interested in sports.

-Serge has many interests.

Woodworking, horse movies, industrial machinery.

-Oh, my gosh, I love industrial machinery.

-Jane.

Did you know Melissa has a metal shop? And she has five...

Count 'em! ..five welding certificates. Beat that!

-Welding?

-Welding.

Well, Serge can field-strip a weed trimmer in 10.7 seconds.

-10.7?

-Melissa once cooked a souffle on the hood of a hot car.

-Serge loves unusually-cooked foods. I assume souffle is a food.

-It is.

Serge made a doghouse from toothpicks,

duct tape and gum wrappers.

-You have a dog? I love dogs!

-It's a bouvier.

Melissa can juggle ten melons at a time! Honeydews, Jane! Honey. Dews.

-Honeydews?

-Honeydews.

Well, my date is so much better than your date.

-No, my date is so much better than yours.

-Is not!

-Yeah, it is!

-No!

-Yeah!

-Mine is better!

-No, mine is better, Jane!

-Mine.

-Mine's better, Jane.

-Mine!

When is Ms Stern going to show up?

Uh, soon, I'm sure. You know, she's probably stuck in traffic.

You know how congested the pearly gates can get.

You know what they say, there's only two seasons,

-winter and construction.

-She's not showing up here at all, is she?

No.

-What?! You can stand up?

-This whole time.

But an AIT can't undo another AIT's magic.

I know. I put a little no-stick magic on myself

before you put the sticky butt magic on me.

How did you know I would use sticky magic on you?

You do it all the time, it's like your signature move.

Denise!

Stuck it to him!

Argh! Denise!

Stuck it to ya!

Nise!

Stuck it to ya!

You're so predictable. You've even got a catch phrase.

"I stuck it to ya!"

Why would you pretend to be stuck on the couch?

You kept me here all day!

-For your own protection.

-My own protection?

Bike helmets are for my own protection.

Washing my hands is for my own protection.

50 SPF sunblock is for my own protection.

But go on, PJ, fill me in.

From what exactly do I need protection?

Jane and Carl.

They're going to get together.

Oh.

I know you still have feelings for him.

-Mine's better.

-Mine's better.

-Mine's better!

-Mine's better.

-Mine.

-Mine.

-No, mine.

Oh. I see.

So apart from wasting an entire day

of me not getting in contact with Ms Stern,

you don't trust that I'm professional enough

not to get between Carl and Jane?

It's not that I didn't trust you.

I didn't want to see you get hurt.

A little damage control.

I wasted an entire day waiting for Ms Stern for nothing.

And now I have to go find out

what's going on with this whole Jane and Carl thing. What a day!

I can control my own damage, thank you very much!

Serge can chug a whole can of soda without burping!

Well, Melissa once won a burping contest!

Oh, well, Serge wins lots of contests!

Yeah, none scholastic. Cos he's a meathead!

You complete me.

Do you want to come over and see my metal shop sometime?

-You had me a honeydew.

-You're just jealous!

-Jealous?

-Yeah!

-You know what? Melissa can list the Latin names

of all the varieties of root vegetables. See, Melissa?

JANE GASPS

-What, where did they go?

-You scared them away!

I scared them away? You scared them away!

Oh, brother. Now it's time for ME to do some damage control.

-Pfft!

-Oh, don't pfft me!

-I just pfft'd you!

-Oh, pfffffffft!

-Pfffft! Typical Jane!

Suck an egg, Carl!

I can't believe you two.

Don't you guys get it?!

Ugh, no, you don't get it.

But boy, you're going to get it!

So tell me, Porter, why did you bring me down here, hm? To see this?

-I wanted to show you something.

-Mm-hm.

Some people spend their whole lives wanting something

and they can't have it.

So Denise still has feelings for Carl Montclaire.

Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Porter.

Angel-human dating is strictly forbidden. Denise knows this.

Just keep watching.

You two have it right there in front of you, and you're pushing it away.

Why would you ever do that?

Carl, tell Jane the truth.

Tell her how you feel about her. Do it.

Do it...

I...

I...

Tell her or so help me, I will turn you into a frog!

-I like you, Jane. I never stopped liking you.

-Really?

Really.

Now your turn, Jane. Tell him how you feel.

Well, I... You see, the thing is I...

The frog thing applies to you too!

I like you too, Carl. A lot.

I mean, a lot, a lot.

I'm sorry I turned you down that first time,

it was the stupidest thing I've done in my whole life.

I wanted to show you how far Denise has come.

And even though she still has feelings for Carl,

she brought him and Jane together.

Isn't that an AIT's job? To do the right thing?

It's easy to give up a guy, even if you really like him.

So what if he's so adorable...

and sweet...

and uh...

Hey, we sacrifice.

It's what we AIT's in-waiting do.

Yes, perhaps you're right, Porter.

Denise is ready for her AIT assignment.

Thanks a lot, Denise. That was... That was really cool of you.

Yeah, you know, no big thang.

It's what we AITs do. Be good to each other.

-So you want to get some dessert?

-We haven't even had dinner yet.

Ah, we've wasted enough time. Let's just get dessert.

Oh, look at you two like-liking each other.

Once again, Britney worked her magic!

# And love

# Has found its way to me and you and you and me... #

Look at you wishing it...blah-blah-blah.

The only words I want to hear coming out of your mouth are... Huh!

Sorry Melis... Why can't I do this?!

Ah!

But I am smart about...

Serge loves oddly...

-What's the line?

-Yeah, well, Melissa once won

-a burping contest!

-Oh, you...

-What do I say? Pfft!

-Pfft!

Ewww!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd