Grazlax Attacks - Part Two Wizards vs Aliens

We need something to track Tom Clarke.

-ROARS

-Watch out!

I'm reading intense molecular instability,

massive biological reactions.

GRAZLAX ROARS

It's just a hairdryer.

Not such a chompy chappy now, are you?

What is that?

I don't even want to guess.

It's like it exploded.

It didn't explode! It had kids!

There are three of them now!

How can there be three of them?

Cellular division.

Like an amoeba. They don't have to breed to multiply,

-they can just break apart.

-Ah, great timing(!)

Something must have set it off.

The hairdryer! The heat started a biological reaction.

-Like a crocodile.

-A what?

Crocodiles have to be a certain temperature before they can breed.

Shame it's not a crocodile!

It even broke through the door!

Not that way!

-Think this will keep them out?

-Will anything?

At least there's no fireplace in here.

I wouldn't put it past them to chew through the bricks to get at us.

You're really cheering me up(!)

You know dust is made up of mostly dead skin cells and insect poo?

Any other good news?

I do not understand what has happened to the Grazlax.

They are under a different sun, brother.

I have taken another Grazlax from the Zone of Quarantine

and shall simulate Earth conditions at the point we lost contact.

Observe.

You need to increase pollutant levels another four marks, sister.

Indeed. And increasing temperature as indicated by the sensors.

The experiment begins.

ROARING, CRASHING

I'm reading the same bio-critical indicators.

Soon we shall see what happened on Earth.

ROARING, THEN STATIC

What happened?

That electro-magnetic energy flash has destroyed the lights.

Guard! Investigate!

GRAZLAX SNARLS

It seems we have a problem, sister.

I advise we do not lose our heads.

If only I still had some magic.

These things could be like the Nekross.

Magic might not have any effect.

You know Quinn and Katie? They think I've gone weird.

Well, you're a wizard.

And there are snappy aliens all over the house

and a saucer full of spacemen who want to get fat on magic.

How weird can it get?

Yeah. It's freaky.

You know, the really weird thing is,

I'm sort of enjoying it.

Or I was, till we got the gnashing nasties trashing my house.

-And they think

-I've

-gone weird.

Like a wizard isn't weird?

Do you know what really is weird?

For a science freak, you're not so bad.

Cheers.

You don't understand magic or anything, but...

Do you? Like, why is it you only get three spells a day?

I keep telling you, the laws of magic are different

-to the laws of science.

-Yeah, they don't make any sense.

Not to an Unenchanted like you.

I mean, especially like you. You're a science nut.

Everything has to be logical.

Magic isn't about logic.

It's something you sense, you feel.

It still has an effect on the physical world.

You put furniture together with a click of your fingers.

If there's an effect, there has to be a cause.

That's physics, Tom, like it or not.

See, that's what's great.

You don't understand the first thing about magic,

but I can talk to you about it

and I've never had that before.

-There's your dad and your gran.

-That's not what I mean.

Every other friend,

everyone at school, I have to be someone else.

Not a wizard.

And that's like hiding what I am. Hiding me.

You should try being a geek.

RUMBLE, WATER BUBBLES

What was that?

It came from the overflow tank.

SPLASHING, SNARLING

-There's one in here!

-It must have come up through the pipes.

-In through the tank.

-They can do that? Fit into a water pipe?

-Climb up it?

-You tell me.

AND you're out of magic!

Where's it gone?!

What are you doing?

I think we know a hairdryer isn't going to fix anything.

Maybe there's another way of doing this.

We could communicate.

Yeah. We're going to talk cricket.

They're obviously intelligent. Maybe we can reason with it.

JACK-IN-THE-BOX SQUEALS

SPLASH!

It's gone back the way it came.

It ran away? Why?

Never mind that.

-This is hot. Dad's eco-boiler has come on.

-Oh.

It multiplied when it got hot.

And now they're planning on raising a family?

If those things keep reproducing, we are in some serious trouble.

What if it gets out of the house?

We've got to turn that boiler off. Where is it?

The basement.

Spectacular.

WHISPERS: That's the basement door.

If those things are smart enough to turn on a boiler...

That's bad, that's really bad.

Only one way to find out.

You've got the cricket bat.

GRAZLAX ROARS

POPPING, SQUELCHING

They've reproduced again.

There's nine of them now.

THEY ROAR

Run!

The attic!

DOORBELL RINGS

-There's someone at the door!

-Come on!

Why did they stop chasing us?

No way! It can't be!

DOORBELL CONTINUES

DOORBELL STOPS

Hello?

Benny?

Tom?

Hello? Are you in there?

She's supposed to be delivering leaflets.

Only she knows I'm here.

And she's come to say hello?

Suppose.

Like it's impossible she's come to see me?

I'm just saying. It's my house.

Maybe she'll just give up and go.

You know, when we came in,

I can't remember if I shut the front door.

What if she walks in?

On a house full of aliens with razor blades for teeth?

We've got to do something.

Hello?

SNARLING

Hello?

Hello?

You're going to have to distract them.

GRAZLAX SNARLS

Tom? Benny? Is that you?

Are you playing about in there?

Hey, boys!

Come and get your Benny burger!

What's going on in there?

Katie! What are you doing here?

What a surprise. I mean, nice surprise. Obviously.

Hey!

Hey... What's going on in there?

Hmm? Oh, in there? Nothing.

But I heard something. Like an animal.

Oh! That'll be Benny's...

dog.

It didn't sound like a dog.

It doesn't. It's a rare breed.

It's a...

a gnash...nauser.

-A gnashnauser?

-Mmm.

-Are you winding me up?

This is such a bad idea!

-Get off! >

-Benny.

He loves that furry ball of teeth and claws.

Leave me alone!

I'm more of a cat person.

The bag's my little sister's. But nice try.

BENNY SCREAMS

How many of these do you have to deliver?

Three more bags. Dad wants to make a big noise about his new shop.

That's going to take you all day.

Be faster and more fun with two of us.

-That's true.

-I'll buy us a pizza as a thank you.

I'm sorry. I can't.

Oh. OK. No problem.

I mean... I'd love to. Honestly.

Look, you've got stuff to do with Benny. I get it. It's no big deal.

Look, Katie, I'm sorry. It's just...

You know, it's Benny. He hasn't got any proper mates

and I don't want him thinking that I've ditched him.

Oh, no!

POPPING

-Tom!

-He kind of needs me right now.

-Well, he's lucky having you as a friend.

-Mm-mm!

Rrrgh!

Have the Grazlaa from your "experiment" been dealt with?

They were vented into space.

But with the data from my experiment, we have re-calibrated the sensors.

The Grazlaa have reproduced on Earth again

and according to our projections, will continue to do so.

Impossible. The Grazlaa require volcanic heat to multiply.

Apparently not in Earth's environment.

Our projections show that within 24 hours,

there will be 5.4 million Grazlaa.

They will destroy everything and everyone.

I sought only to use the Grazlax to rid ourselves of the boy wizard.

Instead, I have destroyed the last source of magic in the universe.

The Nekross shall feast no more.

We must take action immediately.

The Zarantulus can exterminate the threat

with a blast from the ion pulse cannon.

Destroy the habitation? The entire house?

And the immediate area around it.

To be sure of total eradication.

There will be human deaths,

including the Halfling wizard, but what of that?

Do it! Put the Zarantulus into full battle mode!

As the King commands, so it is done.

ENGINES RUMBLE

Can you hear anything?

Nothing.

-I can't believe you shut them in

-there.

With the boiler! You are supposed to be the clever one.

They were chasing me at the time!

While you were chatting up Katie.

I was not chatting her up!

SNARLS, POPPING

They're reproducing like micro-organisms.

One becomes three, three becomes nine.

Nine becomes 27.

27 becomes...

We're in big trouble.

If they get out of this house and keep multiplying,

the whole world is in trouble.

We've got to get to that boiler and turn it off!

It's Dad's eco-boiler. It's like a furnace.

You can't just flick a switch.

We have to find a way.

SNARLING

-Well?

-It's like a nest.

-How big a nest?

-Big. There are loads of them.

It's so hot down there. They must be reproducing faster.

We're not going to get to the boiler, are we?

-Only if we get them away from it.

-And how are we going to do that?

Do your mum and dad like opera?

What are you doing?

-Something you want to tell me?

-Again. What are you doing?

When Katie was at the door, they killed the doorbell.

DOORBELL RINGS

Remember up in the attic? That jack-in-the box went off.

It made a screaming noise and the ankle-snapper ran off.

JACK-IN-THE-BOX SQUEALS

-What if they don't like high-pitched sounds?

-Yeah!

The army has ultra-high frequency weapons, sonic weapons,

-that can knock people off their feet.

-Shame we don't have one.

We'll have to make do with opera. That's full of screeching, isn't it?

They can break glass with their voices.

Imagine what they can do to those things!

Approaching Earth.

Soon we will be within range.

Ready?

Ready.

Three...

BOTH: Two...one...

There are loads of them!

We're running out of time. Let them have it.

SONG: "Ride of the Valkyries"

GRAZLAA HOWL

It's working! They hate it!

Turn it up! Give them more!

SINGING GETS LOUDER, HIGHER

You've done it, Benny! You've done it!

SINGING STOPS

-What happened?

-They cut the power!

Go! Go!

-That won't hold them for long.

-We can get out through the window!

No, we can't. They're going to get through the door,

then the window. We can't let them reach the outside world.

CRASHING They're getting in! We're finished!

Battle mode at maximum.

I'm sorry, Benny. This is all my fault.

The Nekross are after wizards, not Unenchanted.

If you hadn't been my friend, you wouldn't be here now.

Typical.

I finally get a friend, and he gets me eaten by aliens.

-We've still got one more sonic weapon!

-What? There's no power!

-We don't need power. We just need you!

-What?

Here!

And this! I'm out of credit, but I have an amp app

for my electric guitar. That will still work!

You play and we blast 'em through my phone.

-What? I can't play this!

-That's the point!

-You're right!

We'll get feedback.

-The Larsen effect!

-I don't care what it's called,

but double the screeching sounds good to me!

You're going to be our sonic weapon, Benny!

You're going to be our sonic weapon.

Engaging ion pulse cannon.

CANNON WHINES

BENNY PLAYS, OUT OF TUNE

DOOR SPLINTERS

HIGH-PITCHED BUZZING

Come on, Benny. Hit that note!

VIOLIN SCREECHES, HIGHER AND HIGHER

Whoa!

Gross!

Let's get the rest of them!

Targeting now.

MUSIC: "1812 OVERTURE"

-Now

-that's

-how you play violin!

Maximum pulse in five...

four...three...

-two...

-No. Wait!

The Grazlaa readings have ceased.

-What?

-They've been destroyed.

Abort and retreat! Now!

What am I going to tell my parents?

I've got an idea.

They were bogles, you say?

No, Gran. They were aliens.

The Nekross sent them. They must have.

They sound like bogles.

This looks like the work of bogles.

Nasty, chompy, nasty things.

No, Gran. Bogles are from the Neverside.

These were from another planet.

Oh! Life used to be so much simpler

when all we had to worry about was goblins and dragons.

Are you sure about this? I mean, I know she's your gran,

but isn't she a bit... well, unpredictable?

It's either this or...

I don't know, have you got any ideas?

Right, then, a major spring cleaning spell, I think.

Please, Gran, we need you to really concentrate.

Everything, and I mean everything,

has to be put back the way it was before the ankle-snappers showed up.

I know. Now, give me some room.

Spree falow dah!

That's not right.

Not right at all.

Sorry.

We'll get there, don't worry.

Spree fasha allah dah!

Oh. No.

Oh. I must be hungry.

Nothing like missing your tea and afternoon cake

to make the mind wander.

Quick. Before the neighbours see!

No! Take your time, Mrs Crowe.

Concentrate. Please. Concentrate really, really hard.

This is your third spell.

You have to get it right, or I'm toast.

Then maybe I ought to magic up some jam and butter, instead?

Ye of little faith.

Sprash afalla waan dah!

-Ta-dah!

-Gran, you are brilliant!

If only I could get the Chamber tidied up like this.

-Your robot's back in one piece, then.

-Kind of.

It looks perfectly fine to me.

Are you doubting my magic, young man?

This was a Sugoi Kinzoku copy.

The real ones are really rare, worth about a grand.

-So?

-So it's not a copy any more.

-It's a real one.

-Are you sure?

-I'm a geek. Of course I'm sure.

-So why aren't you looking happy?

Most of these things, they're not the real thing. Or they weren't.

But look at this.

If it's genuine, it will have a Kang Xi reign mark on the base,

which it has!

It's worth millions!

Don't worry, Benny!

Just make sure your parents never look at any of these too closely.

Now, I'm off to find a cup of tangleweed tea.

Moon had better have the cauldron on.

I'd better go, too. Think I need a shower.

Yeah. Me, too. Before Mum and Dad get back.

-See you Monday?

-See you Monday.

And, Tom, there's no need to be sorry.

I mean, for getting me into all of this.

-Wizards and aliens.

-And nearly getting eaten?

Yeah, that would've been a downer.

Still, you did come and help me with the lab.

-Thanks.

-That's what friends are for, isn't it?

Gran! Wait for me!

So, the Grazlaa,

who have devoured worlds,

were destroyed by a Halfling wizard?

He may be a Halfling, but clearly Tom Clarke

is a formidable wizard and enemy of the Nekross.

We almost lost this planet because of your lack of knowledge.

Yes, Father,

and I shall make it my mission to study their ways in detail.

We must accelerate the master plan!

Yes, my father, we shall yet strip Earth of its magic.

Every last centillium.

The boy wizard cannot stop us. No-one can!

The Nekross shall feast!

Yes, the Nekross shall feast!

The Nekross shall feast!

You want magic?

-You were using magic to do your homework?

-What? Where are we?

I'm so sick of our responsibilities as wizards.

You hang around with that little nerd, the school's biggest sad case.

-You'd better let him go.

-Who are you?

-I'm Jackson Hawke.

-This is Benny.

-You hang out with an Unenchanted?

What we've got is so fantastic, because what we've got is power.

-Why are you doing what he tells you?

-Who will you choose?

A wizard with such power - just imagine what he can do.

Now that's magic.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd