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Superzag and Wonderzig Zig and Zag

Superzag and Wonderzig

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# Five, four, three, two Five, four, three, two, one...

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# Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

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# Well, come along for the ride

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# You and me and Zig and Zag

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# When our weird worlds collide

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# It may seem a little mad

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# But you can't close your eyes or you'll miss it

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# Hold on tight No-one's drive, drive, driving

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# It's time to get on with it Not too late

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# Start counting Are your engines on? We can't wait

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# Count down, it's Zig and Zag time

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# Five, four, three, two

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# Time for Zig and Zag! #

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Da-da-da-da! I'm Mega Fantastic Guy!

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And I'm his trusty sidekick, Volcano Boy. Watch me erupt!

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-BLERGH!

-BOTH LAUGH

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Glasses in the bucket. Thank you.

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-Don't you just love superhero movies?

-Especially in 3D.

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These glasses make everything look so real.

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I am real, sir, but please put your glasses in the bucket. Thank you.

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It's like he's talking to me! Ho-ho-ho-ho!

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Zig, you do realise the movie is over, and this is real life again?

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Oh, Zag, you're in the movie!

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Oh, stop it, it tickles! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ho-ho-ho!

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Glasses in the bucket. Thank you.

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BOTH GIGGLING

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Oh, that must be the best job in the world.

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Yeah! Imagine having your own bucket.

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No, not the cinema guy's job, I meant being a superhero.

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A life of nonstop adventure, filled with unpredictable twists,

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a hero admired by one and all.

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That would be even better!

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Oh, if only we were from another planet, always knew what

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to do in a crisis, and had incredible chiselled good looks.

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Wait a minute. We are, we do, and I have!

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People of earth, prepare to meet Superzag!

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And his sidekick, Wonderzig!

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-Mmm. Sorry, Zigmund. Superzag works alone.

-Please?

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Oh, I'd be the best sidekick ever. I've even got my own superpower.

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I've never told anybody this, but I can cry.

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-Huh? Crying's not a superpower, Zig.

-These are no normal tears!

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Once they start to flow, I can get anybody to do anything I want.

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It's going to take more than tears to be Superzag's sidekick.

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WHIMPERING

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But I want to. Oh, please?

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Y.. N... No. Zig...

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Oh... No... Is it...?

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All right, all right, you can be my sidekick, just stop crying.

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-Let's go make costumes, bro. Ho-ho-ho-ho!

-Whoa, he's good.

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-Mmm.

-Superzag will be saving the world in hot pink this season.

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-Crime may not see him coming, but we certainly will.

-Meow!

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Oh, and did somebody say bulletproof underpants?

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That's right - while Wonderzig's getting to the

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bottom of a crime, bullets won't be getting to the bottom on Wonderzig.

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Hey!

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-Ooh!

-Yeah!

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-Ta-da!

-Huh?

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-Oh, it's just a bush.

-Not any more. I made a few minor modifications.

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-Now it's a super-secret- super-changing-booth-bush.

-Hmm.

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We superheroes need to be able to change costumes in an instant.

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ZIG GASPS Ha-ha!

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Super secret, super coo-el!

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-Dun-dun-dun!

-Ding-ding-dong!

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-Oh.

-Oh.

-Er, let's try that again.

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BOTH: Dun-dun-dun-dun!

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Ugh. What on earth are they wearing?

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Looks like alien battle uniforms to me, Honey.

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GASPS

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It's invasion day! Call HQ and request backup.

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I want helicopters, tanks, a SWAT team...

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Erm, sir, remember what the general said? "If you two buffoons

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"waste my time again without absolute proof,

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"you'll be on toilet-cleaning duty for the rest of your lives."

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Hmm.

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Let's hold that call for backup, and get some hard evidence first...

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-Huh?

-..by catching those alien slime on film. Ha-ha-ha!

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Take this coupon to the counter, and get 50% off your eggs.

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Have an eggs-tra nice day!

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Oh, worst job ever.

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-Dun-dun-dun!

-Ding-a-ling-ding!

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-Not so fast, Giant Chicken.

-Ha-ha! You two look even dafter than me.

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Holy flip-flops, Superzag! It can talk!

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Let's just hope it can listen, too. I don't know what kind of

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radioactive chicken pecked you and turned you into an evil monster,

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but I do know this - you're messing with the wrong town, lady.

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-Guys, it's me!

-ZIG SCREAMS

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Moley bottoms, Superzag! That's Nellie in there!

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ZAG GASPS No giant chicken eats our friend

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and gets away with it! Hee-ya!

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What are you doing? Argh!

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Dun-dun-dun! Dun-dun-dun!

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-D'oh, she got away.

-This isn't over, Giant Chicken!

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-Superzag!

-Yeah! Oh, and Wonderzig!

-Away!

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BOTH: Away!

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Oh, ugh.

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AGENTS PANTING

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-Down! Puss, puss, puss.

-Hey, Mrs Eyebrows, what's up?

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Mr President is stuck up that tree, silly cat.

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Eh? This sounds like a job for Superzag and Wonderzig.

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-Tch. Typical superheroes, never around when you need them.

-Oh. Huh.

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-Ugh!

-Oh.

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CAMERA WHIRRING LOUDLY

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-We're awfully high, sir.

-We're perfectly safe, Honey.

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From up here, we can capture evidence of all alien activity.

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Just stop shaking. I can't focus.

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That's not me, sir.

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Don't worry, Mrs Eyebrows.

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Superzag and Wonderzig will have your cat

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back in your hands before you can say...

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AGENTS SCREAM

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Mr President! What have you done?

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-Aha! You're welcome. Superzag...

-And Wonderzig!

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BOTH: Away!

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AGENTS COUGHING BIRD CROWING

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ABS GRUNTING

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PEK SINGING

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Can you hear screaming? Look, fire! SINGING CONTINUES

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There isn't a moment to waste! Superzag and Wonderzig...

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-"away," or to "to the rescue?"

-Oh, yes, erm...

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I kind of like "to the rescue."

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("To the rescue.") To the rescue!

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BOTH: To the rescue!

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Da-da-da-da! Da-da-da-da!

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-Hee-ya!

-Da-da-da... Huh?

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SCREAMS

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Fear not, Superzag and Wonderzig are here!

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SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

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SCREAMS

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BOTH SCREAM

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-Darling, could you come in here?

-Coming!

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Does this look weird to you?

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SCREAMING AND CRASHING

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Yes, darling. It looks very weird.

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Did you see that, Honey? Using human missiles. Despicable!

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And I've got every shocking soapy second of evidence

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right here on camera. Send it through to HQ, Honey,

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and tell them to send all the backup they got.

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Oh, I can't wait to see the General's face

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when he sees the alien invaders. I might finally get that promotion!

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-Are you sure we have enough proof, sir?

-Of course!

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-We caught them red-handed on film.

-But they were wearing masks, sir.

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I mean, without those costumes, can we really prove it was them?

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Honey, you're right!

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Those aliens are even more devious than we thought.

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We have to find those costumes. Wait... Wait a second.

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-I know where they are. Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

-Hmm.

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-Ha-ha!

-HONEY GASPS

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-I can't see! Light switch, Honey.

-I'm sorry, sir. Hold on.

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-CLICK

-No, that's not it.

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-Hurry up, Honey!

-Oh, dear.

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Ah. Nothing like a herring-and-banana smoothie

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-after a hard day of superhero-ing.

-Indeed-o-rama.

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Although I was expecting more twists in our story,

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like in the superhero movies.

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I do like a good twist.

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-Meh. There's always tomorrow.

-You said it, Zigmondo.

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-DOORBELL RINGS Huh?

-Hmm.

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Wonder who that could be.

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BOTH GASP

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ALL COMPLAINING AT ONCE

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Uh-oh.

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-Oh!

-Huh!

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Good citizens of Burbia, can I have your attention please?

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I am a general in PANTS -

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Prevention of Alien Network Takeover Squad.

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Has anyone seen these two?

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We certainly have. They're...

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-Right there.

-Right there.

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BOTH: Flippity flip-flops!

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Get them!

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What? No, wait! They're the ones you want!

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They trapped us in their secret bush lair!

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-Take them away.

-Nooooooo!

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We are so sorry. We really thought it was you two in those outfits.

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Yes, we are very sorry, fuzzy boys.

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-SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

-No problem.

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Dreadfully sorry.

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-Are they...?

-I thought... Oh.

-Huh?

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Thanks to you boys, we've just caught Burbia's two most wanted.

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You're both heroes.

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-Whoa!

-Shiny!

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BOTH GIGGLE

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-Hee-hee-hee!

-Ha-ha!

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Did you hear that, Zag? We really ARE heroes!

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BOTH: ZOG DROP!

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HAKA-STYLE MUSIC

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-Whoa!

-Huh?

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I don't know how you did this, but you're not fooling me.

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I know it was you two in those costumes.

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Now that you mention it, I thought it was us, too.

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-I guess we were all wrong.

-Now that's what I call a super-twist!

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HAKA-STYLE MUSIC RESUMES

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# Five, four, three, two...

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# Hey! Hey! Hey!

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# Hey! Hey! Hey!

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# Hey! Hey! Hey!

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# Five, four, three, two

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# That was Zig and Zag! #

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