Chez Zog Zig and Zag

# Five, four, three, two Five, four, three, two

# One

# Hey, hey, hey, hey

# Welcome along for the ride

# You and me and Zig and Zag

# When our weird worlds collide

# It may seem a little mad

# But you can't close your eyes

# Or you'll miss it

# Hold on tight No-one's drive-drive-driving

# It's time to get on with it Not too late

# Start counting Are your engines on?

# We can't wait

# Count down, it's Zig And Zag time

# Five, four, three, two

# Time for Zig And Zag! #

Come on, Zig, hurry up.

But I don't know what to wear.

You don't keep a place like Chez Toffee waiting.

It's the trendiest restaurant in town!

-Huh?

-Huh? Oh.

-Too casual?

-Maybe you're overthinking this.

Just wear something that won't look out of place in a fancy restaurant.

Oh, got it.

HUM OF CONVERSATION

May I suggest the mildly embarrassed chicken,

resting on a bed of enraged lettuce?

Please, excuse me.

Woo, nice place, posh-o-rama.

Whoa. Look how clean these plates are.

You could eat your dinner off them!

-I have to ask, bro. What exactly are you wearing?

-You said wear something

that won't look out of place in a fancy restaurant,

so I thought, well, what do you see in fancy restaurants, huh?

Lobsters. Of course - genius!

I'm afraid you need a reservation to dine at Chez Toffee, gentlemen.

Don't worry, my good mister, we booked this table months ago.

And careful with that, it's a rental.

Very well, and would sir like me to take his...claws?

Thanks, madam.

Now, what kind of meal deals are you rocking tonight, huh?

-Meal deals?

-Don't let the lobster suit fool you.

-We're not made of money.

-How much money DO you have?

Well, what could we get for...

HE WHISPERS

Ha-ha. You could get thrown out in the street.

-Excellent. And does that come with chips?

-Out!

-Whoa!

-Ooh!

-Oh.

-Maybe the Burger Banger down the street

would more suit your taste AND your budget.

Ha! We don't have a budget!

Burger Banger?! How dare you, madam.

This is delicious.

Sure is. But I kind of had my heart set on eating at Chez Toffee.

That Chez Toffee's driving me out of business.

Everybody wants to eat there.

I mean, what does that place have that I don't?

Well, it looks nice.

No offence, but your van's a bit of a holey rust bucket.

It makes it look sort of...smelly?

And the smell. The smell also makes your van smell smelly.

HE SNIFFS

You two really know a lot about restaurants.

He's right. We do.

And I have an ingenious idea.

We'll open our own fancy restaurant, and call it Chez Zog.

Then we can take all the money that we make at our restaurant,

-and eat at Chez Toffee!

-Woohoo!

Makes complete sense, bro.

-Ha-ha!

-BOTH:

-Zog Drop!

# Haya-wana ha-ha Haya-wana ha-ha

# Haya-wana ha-ha

# Haya-wana hey, hey!

# Haya-wana ha-ha Haya-wana ha-ha

# Haya-wana ha-ha

# Haya-wana hey! #

Wait a second, we don't have room for a restaurant.

Details, dear boy, details.

Too fast.

Oh, no.

-Huh?

-This can't happen.

No, this cannot be happening, I'm dreaming.

What's the probs, neighbourino?

Ugh, we are having pool party for body-building club tonight,

but pool has sprung the leak.

HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

Mr Von Pumpiniron, there's no need for such language.

Basically, he can't find the leak.

What a disaster.

I'm afraid I've got more bad news.

You forgot to invite us, and now we've made other plans.

Ha-ha!

Forget to invite you? Ha. I did not forget.

Don't you remember the last time you come to one of our pool parties?

Ah, yes. Good times.

I'll tell you what, if we can find the time,

we'll try and stop by later, OK?

No, that is absolutely not OK.

-Not-K!

-All right, all right.

We PROMISE we'll stop by later.

They are so pushy.

Zag, could you keep it down in there?

BOOM

Oh! Zagnatius Hillary Zogly, will you please keep it down?

Huh?

Sorry, Zigmund, but building a restaurant is a tricky business.

Yes, well, I can hardly hear myself cook in here.

-How's it going, bro?

-Cool.

I've just created Chez Zog's signature dish.

Does it have an elegant essence and a delicate bouquet?

-Huh?

-What's it like?

Oh.

HE GAGS

THUMP

It's perfect!

I shall call it zoup.

Ta-da! What do you think?

Hmm. I'm not going to lie to you, Zag.

It's awesome!

To Chez Zog.

Too fast, too fast!

What on earth are you doing?

We're opening our own posh restaurant - Chez Zog.

Huh?

HE LAUGHS

Now where did I put that roof garden?

Nice to see you at Chez Zog.

Although I'd rather see you two on the menu.

You look good enough to eat.

THEY LAUGH

Enjoy the zoup, gentlemen.

HE SLURPS

Mmm!

This is amaza-bombs.

We'll have enough money to eat at Chez Toffee in no time.

The customers just can't get enough of your zoup!

That's cos it's a delicate base of tinned mushy peas,

with a dash of Zoglian toothpaste and some TLC.

# That Zoglian toothpaste just can't be beat

# Puts a smile on your face and fills the holes in your teeth. #

Hmm. Zig, you're the chef,

but are you sure it's OK to mix Zog food with Earth food?

Of course! I've been tasting the zoup all evening and I'm fine.

Oh...although, I do seem to be glowing a bit more than usual.

Ooh. Ah, they probably won't notice.

SCREAMING

Come back! You forgot your zoup!

Oh. They're not coming back, are they?

I'm afraid not, Zigmund. And without any customers,

we're out of business.

Oh, freaky flip-flops.

Now we'll never get enough money to eat at Chez Toffee.

Still, though, you have to laugh.

HE LAUGHS

THEY LAUGH

What? I wasn't being funny!

I was being mean.

I was being mean!

THEY KEEP LAUGHING

Why are we laughing?

No idea. I feel really miserable.

Aw, me too. Definitely not in the mood for a pool party.

Do we have to go?

Oh, a promise is a promise.

Come on, man, you said you would make a great pool party,

but the pool is, like, empty, you know?

And we've been waiting three hours for our food, man.

I tell you we cannot start the pool party without the pool.

Hey, everybody, ready to party?

Finally, the food is here.

What? No, you really don't want this.

Give me the food, man.

Let...go!

Oof.

Now what have you done?

PEK SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

Pek's right. It's the zoup!

-It's fixed the pool.

-Come on, everybody, pool party.

Yes!

Yeah!

Whoa. You have saved our pool party.

-I could hug you both.

-Huh?

-But I won't. Never.

-Oh.

Not...not just even the purple one.

Woohoo! Looks like Zoglian toothpaste

fills more than just the holes in your teeth.

Oh. A zuper holey filler.

Oh.

Broke a nail wrestling your snail?

Chipped a tooth kissing in a phone booth?

Split your pants doing the funky chicken dance?

Try Zoup, the miracle fixer that's just out of this world.

-Yes, sir.

-Thank you very much.

-Yes, sir, thank you.

Have a lovely... Ha-ha, come back next week.

Bon appetit.

THEY GRUNT

THEY SIGH

Hey, Mr Menu Man.

Just what on earth do you think you're...

I know that smell.

Is that...

-..money?

-That's quite a nose you've got.

Will this be enough?

SQUEALS AND CRASHING

Gentlemen, your table awaits.

The self-centred salmon with a side of mischievous melon.

Ha-ha! We did it, Zigmund.

We're finally eating at Chez Toffee.

HE LAUGHS

-Burger Banger, bro?

-Thought you'd never ask.

Oh, that's it!

You'll never set a furry foot in Chez Toffee again.

It's all right, everybody. They won't be back.

Ha. Everybody?

Ugh.

No!

Mummy!

Check it out.

Your zoup totally fixed my van!

And the people are going crazy for the new look.

Well, Zigmund, I think we learned a very important lesson today.

We sure did, bro.

Lobsters and money don't mix.

No, wait, that can't be right.

Never bring soup to a pool party?

Hold on, that wasn't it either.

I've got it! Keep your friends close, and your toothpaste...

So you didn't learn anything.

So what? You got a free burger.

Next!

-Mm.

-Mm.

-Ha-ha.

# Five, four, three, two

# One, hey! One, hey!

# One, hey!

# Hey! Hey! Hey!

# Hey! Hey! Hey!

# Five, four, three, two Time for Zig and Zag! #