Browse content similar to My British Buddy. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
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# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler, | 0:00:02 | 0:00:07 | |
# If you think we're on the run? | 0:00:07 | 0:00:11 | |
# We are the boys who will stop your little game | 0:00:11 | 0:00:17 | |
# We are the boys who will make you think again | 0:00:17 | 0:00:21 | |
# Cos who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler, | 0:00:21 | 0:00:26 | |
# If you think old England's done? | 0:00:26 | 0:00:31 | |
# Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8:21. | 0:00:31 | 0:00:36 | |
# But he comes home each evening and he's ready with his gun. | 0:00:36 | 0:00:40 | |
# So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler, | 0:00:40 | 0:00:46 | |
# If you think old England's done? # | 0:00:46 | 0:00:50 | |
Men, during the time we've been together, we've seen dark times. | 0:00:53 | 0:00:58 | |
In fact, last winter, times were so dark that it was hard to see ahead. | 0:00:58 | 0:01:05 | |
-Was that the power cut, sir? -That'll do, Walker. | 0:01:05 | 0:01:09 | |
Now, we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. | 0:01:09 | 0:01:14 | |
A very long tunnel, a very small light. | 0:01:14 | 0:01:17 | |
It's shining brightly for all to see. | 0:01:17 | 0:01:21 | |
-Mr Hodges won't like that, sir. -I'm not referring to the blackout! | 0:01:21 | 0:01:26 | |
I mean the war situation. | 0:01:28 | 0:01:30 | |
After standing alone against the Nazi hordes for...nearly two years, I'm glad to say help is at hand. | 0:01:30 | 0:01:39 | |
-That's very good news. Who is it? -The Americans. -Oh! | 0:01:39 | 0:01:43 | |
It's only taken them 2½ years. | 0:01:43 | 0:01:46 | |
Let's not have that sort of talk, Walker. | 0:01:46 | 0:01:50 | |
It's just like the westerns, where Indians surround the settlers and the US Cavalry come in just in time. | 0:01:50 | 0:01:57 | |
No, I wouldn't say it was quite like that! | 0:01:59 | 0:02:03 | |
We've done pretty well up to now, | 0:02:03 | 0:02:06 | |
but it's nice to have extras on the team, a second eleven! | 0:02:06 | 0:02:11 | |
When can we expect them, sir? | 0:02:11 | 0:02:14 | |
A small advance party arrives on Saturday. We must give them a hearty welcome. | 0:02:14 | 0:02:20 | |
-What, roll out the red carpet? -Yes. Though we won't actually have one. | 0:02:20 | 0:02:26 | |
I can get a roll of American cloth if that will help? | 0:02:26 | 0:02:30 | |
Permission to speak, sir? | 0:02:30 | 0:02:33 | |
We must take our American cousins to our bosoms and to our homes and fertilize with them. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:40 | |
Well, in a manner of speaking, yes. | 0:02:44 | 0:02:47 | |
I don't think Mum'll like them in the house. | 0:02:47 | 0:02:51 | |
In a time of war, Pike, one can't choose bedfellows. | 0:02:51 | 0:02:55 | |
I've a double bed I will share if necessary. | 0:02:55 | 0:02:59 | |
I'm not talking about bedfellows in that sense, Godfrey. | 0:02:59 | 0:03:04 | |
It's just as well as I might walk around in the night. | 0:03:04 | 0:03:09 | |
Shouldn't we show the Americans something that's typically British? | 0:03:09 | 0:03:15 | |
Highland Dancing! That's very British. | 0:03:15 | 0:03:18 | |
You could help there, Frazer, as President of the Walmington Caledonian Society. | 0:03:18 | 0:03:24 | |
That will be a wee bit awkward, you see, I'm the only one in it. | 0:03:24 | 0:03:31 | |
There used to be Jock McKay and me, | 0:03:32 | 0:03:35 | |
but when the subscription became 5/- he wouldn't pay, so I threw him out. | 0:03:35 | 0:03:41 | |
Sir, I've been struck by a thought. | 0:03:43 | 0:03:46 | |
In the Sudan, we'd just signed a peace treaty with the Fuzzy Wuzzys | 0:03:46 | 0:03:52 | |
and Kitchener decided to have a get together. | 0:03:52 | 0:03:55 | |
They thought they would like to have a spear throwing competition, but it got a bit difficult. | 0:03:55 | 0:04:03 | |
-Why? -They wanted Gen Kitchener as the target. | 0:04:03 | 0:04:06 | |
Anyway, we talked them out of it and us British lads lined up with our spears | 0:04:06 | 0:04:12 | |
and the Fuzzy Wuzzys stood behind, ready to take their turn. | 0:04:12 | 0:04:17 | |
I cast my spear and took a step back... | 0:04:17 | 0:04:21 | |
-Oh, get to the point, Jones. -I did, sir. | 0:04:21 | 0:04:24 | |
One of them Fuzzy Wuzzys had his spear just like that. I didn't like it. | 0:04:24 | 0:04:31 | |
Anyway, my point is, we could ask them to watch a darts match at the Red Lion. | 0:04:31 | 0:04:37 | |
-Very good idea. An evening in a typical English pub, what could be better? -Very good. | 0:04:37 | 0:04:45 | |
I'm not going into the realms of fantasy? | 0:04:45 | 0:04:49 | |
No. We'll invite them to a spear throwing...er, to a darts match | 0:04:49 | 0:04:54 | |
in the Red Lion on Saturday night. | 0:04:54 | 0:04:56 | |
-Bring the ladies. -And Shirley, you know her don't you? -Indeed! | 0:04:56 | 0:05:02 | |
And I'll bring my girl. She doesn't say much but she's nice. | 0:05:02 | 0:05:06 | |
Uncle Art...Sgt Wilson will bring my Mum, won't you? | 0:05:06 | 0:05:10 | |
Yes, Yes, I suppose so. Will you bring your wife, sir? | 0:05:10 | 0:05:14 | |
No, no, I don't think so, Wilson. | 0:05:15 | 0:05:18 | |
I don't think Elizabeth would do much for Anglo-American relations. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:23 | |
Now, what else can we think of? | 0:05:24 | 0:05:26 | |
Perhaps we could fix up a banner with a message of welcome. | 0:05:26 | 0:05:31 | |
I could get one made. What should it say? | 0:05:31 | 0:05:34 | |
Oh, well, er... | 0:05:34 | 0:05:37 | |
How about, | 0:05:37 | 0:05:39 | |
"Hello to our brave American allies. Go to it and you will soon be home." | 0:05:39 | 0:05:46 | |
All that'll go twice round the bar and across the High Street. | 0:05:46 | 0:05:52 | |
I'll cut it down. You don't need "brave American allies." | 0:05:52 | 0:05:56 | |
The Americans know they're brave. We'll call 'em Yanks. | 0:05:56 | 0:06:01 | |
And they'll soon find out where to go. | 0:06:01 | 0:06:04 | |
And they've only just come into the war. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:08 | |
-What've you got left, Joe? -"Yanks go home." | 0:06:08 | 0:06:12 | |
All right, think up a short message and don't spend more than 10/- on it. | 0:06:15 | 0:06:22 | |
Right, leave it to me, sir. | 0:06:22 | 0:06:24 | |
# My British buddy, | 0:06:24 | 0:06:26 | |
# We're as different as can be. # | 0:06:26 | 0:06:31 | |
"Hi Buddy." It's a bit brief, isn't it? | 0:06:31 | 0:06:35 | |
You said don't spend more than 10/-. | 0:06:35 | 0:06:37 | |
It's snappy, it's to the point. The Yanks like that. | 0:06:37 | 0:06:41 | |
Godfrey, I've got a feeling that tonight is going to be a disaster. Oh dear, I do hope not. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:49 | |
I must say, you look very nice, Mrs Fox. | 0:06:49 | 0:06:53 | |
Oh, thank you, Mr Jones. | 0:06:53 | 0:06:55 | |
I wanted to look my best. Americans are used to Hollywood blondes and we don't want to disappoint them. | 0:06:55 | 0:07:04 | |
Do you like my scent? | 0:07:04 | 0:07:07 | |
It's lovely. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:11 | |
It's Californian Poppy, I thought it would be appropriate. | 0:07:11 | 0:07:16 | |
-Do try and cheer up, Arthur. -I'm perfectly cheerful, Mavis. | 0:07:16 | 0:07:22 | |
-You don't take me out often. Make an effort. -It isn't that. | 0:07:22 | 0:07:27 | |
I can never get away from Mainwaring and the others. | 0:07:27 | 0:07:31 | |
I see him at work and then on parade. | 0:07:31 | 0:07:35 | |
And on our night off, we've to meet these Americans. | 0:07:35 | 0:07:40 | |
I'd much rather be in a nice, cosy cocktail bar, listening to a little Noel Coward playing on the piano. | 0:07:40 | 0:07:47 | |
I saw Noel Coward in that film, "In Which We Serve." | 0:07:47 | 0:07:51 | |
He's not little, he's normal sized. | 0:07:51 | 0:07:53 | |
-I wonder what the soldiers look like? -I've no idea. | 0:07:55 | 0:07:59 | |
Ivy saw them arrive at the station, didn't you? | 0:07:59 | 0:08:04 | |
I wish you'd ask her to speak up. I can never hear a word she says. | 0:08:05 | 0:08:10 | |
They're smart, they're dressed as officers. | 0:08:12 | 0:08:15 | |
-Even the Privates? -Even the Privates? | 0:08:15 | 0:08:19 | |
She says yes. | 0:08:21 | 0:08:23 | |
Where's Shirley? I'll give her a ring. | 0:08:26 | 0:08:29 | |
Thank you for making up the darts team. | 0:08:31 | 0:08:34 | |
I'm always eager to help Anglo-American relations. | 0:08:34 | 0:08:39 | |
-Have a drink? -Thank you, scotch please, large one. | 0:08:39 | 0:08:42 | |
Verger? | 0:08:45 | 0:08:47 | |
Lemon shandy, small one. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:49 | |
Small lemon shandy and large whisky. | 0:08:49 | 0:08:52 | |
Sorry, Captain, I can only let you have a single, I'm short of Scotch. | 0:08:52 | 0:08:58 | |
What a mercy, providence has undertaken it all. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:01 | |
You know the Vicar's weakness, | 0:09:01 | 0:09:04 | |
a double this early and God, I mean, heaven knows what'd happen. | 0:09:04 | 0:09:09 | |
We don't want the Americans to get the wrong impression of our clergy, do we? | 0:09:09 | 0:09:16 | |
Hello. | 0:09:19 | 0:09:22 | |
Good evening, Shirley is it? | 0:09:23 | 0:09:26 | |
-Yes. Where's Joe? -He's phoning you. | 0:09:26 | 0:09:29 | |
I'm late because I'd to put my face on. I haven't overdone it, have I? | 0:09:29 | 0:09:34 | |
-Er... -We don't want the Yanks to get the wrong idea about us English girls. | 0:09:34 | 0:09:40 | |
-Good evening, Captain Mainwaring? -Yes. -How are you? | 0:09:40 | 0:09:46 | |
My name is Cheeseman, see, from the Eastbourne Gazette. | 0:09:46 | 0:09:51 | |
-I'd like a photograph of you greeting our American allies. -Yes, excellent. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:57 | |
-And this is your good lady? -What? | 0:09:57 | 0:10:00 | |
-Your wife? -No, certainly not. | 0:10:00 | 0:10:03 | |
No, chance would be a fine thing! | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
-Well, you see... -Wilson, come over here, I want a word with you. | 0:10:08 | 0:10:13 | |
You see, I'm writing a series of articles for the Gazette entitled "Doughboy Meets The Tommy." | 0:10:13 | 0:10:20 | |
Phew, brilliant! | 0:10:20 | 0:10:22 | |
I thought it would be a good idea... | 0:10:22 | 0:10:25 | |
Well, I'll see you later Captain Mainwaring. | 0:10:25 | 0:10:29 | |
-I say, tip me the wink when you're ready to take the photograph. -Eh? | 0:10:29 | 0:10:35 | |
I want to take the glasses off. I don't want them in the picture. | 0:10:35 | 0:10:41 | |
I'm with you all the way, righto boy. | 0:10:41 | 0:10:44 | |
Wilson, when the Americans arrive, I want you to line them up and I'll say a few appropriate words. | 0:10:45 | 0:10:53 | |
-I trust you won't be too formal? -No, of course not. | 0:10:53 | 0:10:57 | |
Now, there's a Colonel in charge. How does one greet him? | 0:10:57 | 0:11:01 | |
-He'll probably say, "Howdy, partner, put it there." -What? | 0:11:01 | 0:11:07 | |
-"Howdy, partner, put it there!" -Put what, where? | 0:11:07 | 0:11:10 | |
-His hand, in yours. -What? -Well, you just shake hands. | 0:11:12 | 0:11:16 | |
-Don't be absurd. -Well, that's what you do. | 0:11:16 | 0:11:20 | |
An American Colonel wouldn't say, "Howdy partner, put it there." | 0:11:20 | 0:11:25 | |
You and Pike see too many American films. | 0:11:25 | 0:11:29 | |
Evening, Napoleon. Evening, Vicar. | 0:11:30 | 0:11:33 | |
It's nice of you to make up our darts team. | 0:11:33 | 0:11:36 | |
Always ready to beat the Home Guard. | 0:11:36 | 0:11:39 | |
-What time do we kick off? -9 o'clock. -Why 9 o'clock? | 0:11:39 | 0:11:43 | |
Because it is for the Americans. | 0:11:43 | 0:11:46 | |
I hate blooming Yanks, loud mouthed, overbearing lot, I can't stand them. | 0:11:46 | 0:11:52 | |
Oi, what about some service? | 0:11:52 | 0:11:55 | |
WALKER: Mr Mainwaring, the Yanks are here. | 0:11:55 | 0:11:58 | |
Ah, right. Jones, call the men in. | 0:11:58 | 0:12:01 | |
-Come on, get fell in! -Informally! -Informally fall in. Informally! | 0:12:01 | 0:12:07 | |
-No, not you, Mrs Fox. -Oh, but I don't want to be left out. | 0:12:07 | 0:12:11 | |
Go and sit down, Shirl. Why? The Yanks would rather meet us. | 0:12:11 | 0:12:17 | |
-Sit down, please. -Have I put this lot on for nothing? | 0:12:17 | 0:12:21 | |
-Wilson, stand over here. -Stand over where? -Over here, come over here. | 0:12:21 | 0:12:27 | |
-Mr Cheeseman, when will you take the photograph? -Soon as they enter. | 0:12:27 | 0:12:32 | |
Come and stand here, sir. Alright? | 0:12:35 | 0:12:38 | |
-On behalf of the people of... -No, sir, this is the Colonel. -Oh...ah! | 0:12:44 | 0:12:49 | |
Howdy, partner, put it there. | 0:12:49 | 0:12:52 | |
-What did you say? -I told you so! | 0:12:55 | 0:12:57 | |
Turn your head a little more this way, Captain Mainwaring. | 0:12:57 | 0:13:02 | |
-I'd just like to say a few words of welcome. -Sure, go ahead. -Right. | 0:13:02 | 0:13:07 | |
-Get out of the way. -I'm not in the way. | 0:13:07 | 0:13:11 | |
You'd better put your glasses on. | 0:13:11 | 0:13:14 | |
I bid you welcome on behalf of the people of Walmington-On-Sea and applaud you on entering the war. | 0:13:14 | 0:13:23 | |
At last! | 0:13:23 | 0:13:25 | |
Thanks a lot. My name is Colonel Shultz. | 0:13:25 | 0:13:29 | |
My name's Captain Mainwaring. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:32 | |
-This is Sergeant Wilson. -It's awfully nice to meet you. Did you have a jolly crossing? | 0:13:32 | 0:13:39 | |
-Very, except for one thing. -What was that? | 0:13:39 | 0:13:43 | |
-Those beastly Kraut submarines fired torpedoes at us. -My dear, how awful! | 0:13:43 | 0:13:48 | |
Now you're here we'd like you to be our guests, so relax and make yourselves feel at home. | 0:13:49 | 0:13:56 | |
OK, boys, you heard the man, relax, make yourselves at home. | 0:13:56 | 0:14:01 | |
Perhaps you'd like to meet some of my men, Colonel. | 0:14:14 | 0:14:18 | |
-This is Lance Cpl Jones. -Howdy. | 0:14:18 | 0:14:21 | |
Very pleased to meet you, sir. I'd the honour of serving with the Americans in 1917. | 0:14:21 | 0:14:28 | |
-They used to call us Limeys. I expect you know why. -No, I can't say I do. | 0:14:28 | 0:14:35 | |
Well, in times of old on British ships, the sailors used to get all scurvy and mingy, | 0:14:35 | 0:14:42 | |
and the Captain got fed up of this. | 0:14:42 | 0:14:44 | |
He said to them all, "Listen boys, | 0:14:44 | 0:14:48 | |
"I'm sick of you all looking scurvy, | 0:14:48 | 0:14:51 | |
"I want you to drink some lime juice." | 0:14:51 | 0:14:55 | |
So, he made them drink lime juice in the evening. | 0:14:55 | 0:15:00 | |
But, there was an American on board and he refused it | 0:15:00 | 0:15:04 | |
and told the Captain what to do with it. | 0:15:04 | 0:15:07 | |
The Captain ordered him to be flogged. | 0:15:07 | 0:15:11 | |
As he was flogged, the Captain asked why he didn't drink his juice, | 0:15:11 | 0:15:18 | |
like the brave British lads. | 0:15:18 | 0:15:20 | |
The American said, "Ow, they're nothing but a lot of, ow, crawling limeys." | 0:15:20 | 0:15:28 | |
That "ow" was a noise he ejaculated while he was being flogged, sir. | 0:15:28 | 0:15:34 | |
-Hence, the expression, Limeys. -You don't say (!) | 0:15:34 | 0:15:38 | |
-I do. I just told you... -Alright! | 0:15:38 | 0:15:42 | |
Mavis, what on earth is going on? | 0:15:42 | 0:15:45 | |
The Sergeant, here, says I'm the perfect English rose. | 0:15:45 | 0:15:50 | |
You sure are, sister. | 0:15:50 | 0:15:53 | |
Now, just a minute, you haven't even been introduced. | 0:15:53 | 0:15:57 | |
-Listen, buddy...why don't you go take a powder? -Take a p-p-p...? | 0:15:57 | 0:16:03 | |
I believe you're jealous, Arthur. | 0:16:03 | 0:16:05 | |
Wilson. | 0:16:05 | 0:16:07 | |
Yes, sir, what is it? | 0:16:07 | 0:16:10 | |
-This is Private Frazer. -Howdy. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:13 | |
Noo's the day and noo's the hour. | 0:16:14 | 0:16:16 | |
See the front of battle lour. See proud Hitler's power. | 0:16:16 | 0:16:22 | |
Wha will be a traitor knave? Wha's so base as be a slave? | 0:16:22 | 0:16:27 | |
(SHOUTS) Wha would fill a coward's grave? | 0:16:27 | 0:16:30 | |
Let him turn and flee. | 0:16:30 | 0:16:32 | |
Well, Captain, you sure have an international unit here. | 0:16:37 | 0:16:42 | |
I don't know the lingo but it sounds great. | 0:16:42 | 0:16:46 | |
Where does this old timer come from? | 0:16:46 | 0:16:49 | |
Scotland. And that was nay foreign lingo. | 0:16:49 | 0:16:53 | |
That was a battle song by Rabbie Burns, updated by me. | 0:16:53 | 0:16:58 | |
-Well, what'd you know. -What indeed! | 0:16:58 | 0:17:02 | |
-Private Godfrey. -Good evening. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:05 | |
I'm sorry. My sister, Dolly, couldn't come tonight, | 0:17:05 | 0:17:09 | |
but she's sent you some of her upside down cakes. Gee, thanks. | 0:17:09 | 0:17:14 | |
You've sure got some veterans. The British Army takes them so old! | 0:17:14 | 0:17:19 | |
Well, of course, you see, we're not real soldiers. | 0:17:19 | 0:17:24 | |
What are you talking about, not real soldiers? | 0:17:24 | 0:17:27 | |
Well, we're not. We're Home Guards. | 0:17:27 | 0:17:30 | |
-What? -Part-time soldiers. | 0:17:30 | 0:17:33 | |
Mr Mainwaring's a Bank Manager, I'm his Chief Clerk, others keep shops and the like. | 0:17:33 | 0:17:40 | |
This was formed to protect the town against German parachute troops... and things. | 0:17:40 | 0:17:47 | |
Well, now we'll do all the defending there is around here. | 0:17:47 | 0:17:51 | |
You old timers relax, take it easy, huh! How kind! | 0:17:51 | 0:17:57 | |
-Look here... -Let's go to the bar. | 0:17:57 | 0:17:59 | |
-What are you talking about? -Well... | 0:17:59 | 0:18:02 | |
'Ere, Colonel, come here, listen. | 0:18:02 | 0:18:05 | |
If you need anything, razors, petrol coupons, let me know. | 0:18:05 | 0:18:09 | |
We don't need a thing. We brought it all over with us. | 0:18:09 | 0:18:14 | |
Blimey! | 0:18:14 | 0:18:16 | |
Joe, do something quick. Look at them Yanks with our girls. | 0:18:16 | 0:18:21 | |
Fancy you being a real cowboy! | 0:18:21 | 0:18:24 | |
I bet some of you are film stars. | 0:18:24 | 0:18:27 | |
I do like these American boys, they're so nice and clean cut. | 0:18:27 | 0:18:32 | |
Oh... | 0:18:32 | 0:18:34 | |
and ever so generous. | 0:18:34 | 0:18:37 | |
Joe, come and look at his medals. | 0:18:37 | 0:18:39 | |
He's got one for sharp shooting and that one for good conduct... not too good, I hope! | 0:18:39 | 0:18:46 | |
Just a minute, just a minute! | 0:18:46 | 0:18:48 | |
Mrs Fox, you should be ashamed, you're old enough to be his mother. | 0:18:48 | 0:18:53 | |
Well, if it comes to that, you're old enough to be my father. | 0:18:53 | 0:18:59 | |
-What are we going to do? -Search me. | 0:19:01 | 0:19:04 | |
They won't buy anything, they've pinched our girls, | 0:19:04 | 0:19:08 | |
this war's taken a very nasty turn. | 0:19:08 | 0:19:10 | |
Let's go and have a drink. | 0:19:10 | 0:19:13 | |
Ivy...Ivy, you're supposed to be with me. | 0:19:16 | 0:19:21 | |
-(Go away). -Pardon? | 0:19:21 | 0:19:23 | |
Mum...MUM! | 0:19:29 | 0:19:31 | |
Whatever's the matter, Frank? | 0:19:33 | 0:19:35 | |
He's got his arm round Ivy and he won't take it away. Make him take it away, Mum, make him. | 0:19:35 | 0:19:42 | |
Don't be so silly, Frank. | 0:19:42 | 0:19:45 | |
I shall never speak to you again. | 0:19:47 | 0:19:50 | |
Now, Colonel, | 0:19:50 | 0:19:52 | |
there, try some real old English beer. | 0:19:52 | 0:19:56 | |
Captain. | 0:19:56 | 0:19:58 | |
Thanks. Well, bottoms up. | 0:19:58 | 0:20:01 | |
My God, it's warm! | 0:20:04 | 0:20:06 | |
I bet you've never tasted the like. | 0:20:06 | 0:20:09 | |
Warm? Feels quite cool to me. | 0:20:09 | 0:20:12 | |
It tastes like it's from a faucet. | 0:20:12 | 0:20:14 | |
You don't have force it. Just turn the tap on and it pours. | 0:20:14 | 0:20:20 | |
Are you having me on, kid? Having you on what? | 0:20:20 | 0:20:24 | |
-Something else, sir? -OK, I'll have a highball. | 0:20:24 | 0:20:28 | |
Give this gentleman a... | 0:20:30 | 0:20:32 | |
-..highball. Have you got a highball? -Highball? What's that? | 0:20:32 | 0:20:39 | |
Scotch on the rocks. Sorry, no scotch. | 0:20:39 | 0:20:42 | |
What sort of a joint is this? Is this your English hospitality? | 0:20:42 | 0:20:48 | |
We've been at war for 2½ years, things are in short supply. | 0:20:48 | 0:20:53 | |
What do you mean by that remark? | 0:20:53 | 0:20:55 | |
Nothing really. | 0:20:55 | 0:20:58 | |
Hello. I met your lot in France, in 1917, under General Perishing. | 0:20:58 | 0:21:03 | |
You mean General Pershing. | 0:21:03 | 0:21:06 | |
Well, I knew it was some perishing general. | 0:21:06 | 0:21:09 | |
You notice I said 1917 (!) As we all know, the war started in 1914. | 0:21:09 | 0:21:17 | |
Now you're going to win this one. Better late than never (!) | 0:21:17 | 0:21:21 | |
The war's only been on 2½ years. It's an improvement on last time. | 0:21:21 | 0:21:26 | |
Captain. | 0:21:26 | 0:21:28 | |
What did you say, Buster? You're improving, waiting 2½ years! | 0:21:28 | 0:21:33 | |
Hold it. | 0:21:33 | 0:21:35 | |
Sir, I assure you, it was not our fault. | 0:21:36 | 0:21:39 | |
The American went to hit Hodges, he dodged and I got hit. | 0:21:39 | 0:21:44 | |
My men were in no way to blame. | 0:21:44 | 0:21:46 | |
COLONEL: Yes, but still, a photograph of you brawling is in every newspaper. | 0:21:46 | 0:21:53 | |
German propaganda will have a field day. | 0:21:53 | 0:21:57 | |
The Americans are here and there's a fight. | 0:21:57 | 0:22:00 | |
We're going to nip it in the bud. | 0:22:00 | 0:22:03 | |
-What do you want me to do? -I'm sending the reporter over. | 0:22:03 | 0:22:08 | |
Invite the Colonel over and publicly apologise. I want a photograph of you shaking hands for the papers. | 0:22:08 | 0:22:16 | |
You want me to be the scapegoat, sir? | 0:22:16 | 0:22:19 | |
I'm afraid so, it's a penalty of wearing pips on your shoulders. | 0:22:19 | 0:22:24 | |
You sometimes have to take the can. Now, see to it! | 0:22:24 | 0:22:28 | |
Very well, sir. | 0:22:28 | 0:22:31 | |
Awfully good spread, isn't it, sir? | 0:22:31 | 0:22:34 | |
It's terrible, I'll never live it down. | 0:22:34 | 0:22:37 | |
It's a nice one of me, isn't it? Would they send me some prints? | 0:22:37 | 0:22:42 | |
Oh, I don't know. | 0:22:42 | 0:22:44 | |
-Permission for you to see us, sir? -Yes, Jones. | 0:22:44 | 0:22:49 | |
We'd all like to apologise for last night, sir, but to assure you it was not our fault. | 0:22:53 | 0:23:00 | |
Well, I know that, Jones, and GHQ knows it. | 0:23:00 | 0:23:03 | |
However, I've to make a public apology. | 0:23:03 | 0:23:07 | |
You're to be made the scrapecoach? | 0:23:07 | 0:23:09 | |
Yes, but even...even if I do have to make a public apology, | 0:23:09 | 0:23:15 | |
I intend to see that GHQ realises it is no responsibility of ours. | 0:23:15 | 0:23:21 | |
I'm going to write a report to clear us of all blame. | 0:23:21 | 0:23:25 | |
Tell me, in your own words, exactly what happened. Sergeant? | 0:23:25 | 0:23:29 | |
Well, sir, when the fight started I thought I would get out of the way, so I dived under the table. | 0:23:29 | 0:23:37 | |
After he thumped an American! | 0:23:37 | 0:23:39 | |
What? | 0:23:39 | 0:23:41 | |
I only gave him a couple of taps. He'd been getting on my nerves, he was too familiar with Mrs Pike. | 0:23:41 | 0:23:49 | |
Mum was furious. She locked him out and he had to sleep in the shed. | 0:23:49 | 0:23:55 | |
What about you, Jones? That's a nasty bump on your head, | 0:23:58 | 0:24:02 | |
-which American did that? -None, sir, it was Mrs Fox. -Mrs Fox? | 0:24:02 | 0:24:08 | |
-She didn't like my attitude to a Yank. -Why? | 0:24:08 | 0:24:12 | |
I banged his head on the floor. | 0:24:12 | 0:24:15 | |
-I had him in a deadly, Dervish death grip. -All right! | 0:24:15 | 0:24:19 | |
Frazer? | 0:24:21 | 0:24:23 | |
I just gave this fellow a wee bit of a push. | 0:24:23 | 0:24:26 | |
No more, mind you, no more. A wee bit of a push. | 0:24:26 | 0:24:31 | |
He knocked a whisky out of my hand, a true Scot won't stand for that! | 0:24:31 | 0:24:36 | |
It was unfortunate that he collided with a bottle that Joe was holding. | 0:24:36 | 0:24:41 | |
Yes, well, I can explain that, sir. | 0:24:41 | 0:24:44 | |
I thought I would calm things down with a sing-song. | 0:24:44 | 0:24:48 | |
I was conducting away, but I had a bottle in each hand! | 0:24:48 | 0:24:53 | |
What about you, Pike? I'm sure you weren't violent. | 0:24:56 | 0:25:00 | |
I must confess, I was, I lost my temper. | 0:25:00 | 0:25:04 | |
Those Americans kept clinging to my Ivy. | 0:25:04 | 0:25:08 | |
Mum wouldn't help, so I decided to stand up for myself and be a man! | 0:25:11 | 0:25:17 | |
What did you do? | 0:25:17 | 0:25:20 | |
I walked up to him and went thr..rr..p. | 0:25:20 | 0:25:23 | |
-Then he chased me until Mr Godfrey hit him with a chair. -Godfrey? | 0:25:27 | 0:25:33 | |
Well, sir, he'd trodden on my sister Dolly's upside down cakes. | 0:25:33 | 0:25:38 | |
I think we'd better let sleeping dogs lie. | 0:25:38 | 0:25:42 | |
Sorry to crash in on you like this, fellas. | 0:25:42 | 0:25:46 | |
Relax, Captain, I want to apologise for last night. | 0:25:46 | 0:25:50 | |
I didn't realise what you'd been through - bombs and food shortages - so I've brought some scotch. | 0:25:50 | 0:25:58 | |
-That's awfully generous. -Oh, forget it. | 0:25:58 | 0:26:01 | |
I'll apologise to your men and he'll take a photo. | 0:26:01 | 0:26:05 | |
Hello again, Captain Mainwaring, bach. | 0:26:05 | 0:26:09 | |
Actually, I was just about to apologise to you. | 0:26:13 | 0:26:17 | |
No, I can't let you do that. | 0:26:17 | 0:26:20 | |
As you British say, it wouldn't be cricket. | 0:26:20 | 0:26:24 | |
So, could you get your men together? | 0:26:24 | 0:26:27 | |
If you insist. Call the men, Jones. | 0:26:27 | 0:26:30 | |
-Come this way, sir. -Right behind you, old timer. | 0:26:30 | 0:26:34 | |
-I'll give you £2 for the whisky. -No... Get on parade. | 0:26:34 | 0:26:39 | |
-I rather like the look of that whisky, sir. -Yes! -..Oh! | 0:26:39 | 0:26:44 | |
-He's rather nice, Colonel Shultz. -Just a minute, Wilson, | 0:26:44 | 0:26:49 | |
-isn't Shultz a German name? -That's right, it is. | 0:26:49 | 0:26:53 | |
-Why's he in the American army? -Lots of Americans have German names. | 0:26:53 | 0:26:59 | |
Really! The whole thing's got out of hand. | 0:26:59 | 0:27:02 | |
We were better on our own. At least we knew who was who and what was what. | 0:27:02 | 0:27:09 | |
Come on, get fell in, in order now. | 0:27:09 | 0:27:12 | |
-Don't worry about that, old timer, gather round informally. -Very well. | 0:27:12 | 0:27:18 | |
In an informal group, round the Colonel, at the double, gather! | 0:27:18 | 0:27:24 | |
I just want to say sorry about last night | 0:27:24 | 0:27:28 | |
and I've brought you some candy. | 0:27:28 | 0:27:31 | |
Help me give them out, Captain. | 0:27:31 | 0:27:34 | |
My men aren't here as they're fixing up the mess for a Ladies Night. | 0:27:34 | 0:27:39 | |
Ladies Night, that reminds me. | 0:27:39 | 0:27:42 | |
-Frank, did you notice your mother was wearing her party frock at tea-time? -Yes I did, Uncle. | 0:27:42 | 0:27:50 | |
I thought it was funny, just to make toast in. | 0:27:50 | 0:27:54 | |
When I asked Ivy to meet me after the parade, she made an excuse. | 0:27:54 | 0:27:59 | |
I knew she was lying, I could hear every word! | 0:27:59 | 0:28:03 | |
Shirley told me she couldn't come out because her hair was a mess, | 0:28:03 | 0:28:08 | |
now I know which mess! | 0:28:08 | 0:28:10 | |
Yoo hoo, Colonel, I'm all ready. | 0:28:10 | 0:28:15 | |
I'll be right with you, honey. You just wait outside in that jeep. | 0:28:15 | 0:28:21 | |
Get ready for the photo, gentlemen. | 0:28:21 | 0:28:24 | |
Excuse me, in the last war, was it only the 10% on the money it lent us, that America charged us for? | 0:28:24 | 0:28:32 | |
Now, what was that, old timer? | 0:28:32 | 0:28:34 | |
Hold it! | 0:28:34 | 0:28:37 | |
Subtitles by BBC | 0:29:34 | 0:29:36 |