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-Exams are over, life begins! -Life begins. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
Sasha's party is going to be a generation-defining event. | 0:00:04 | 0:00:08 | |
You have to be there. | 0:00:08 | 0:00:09 | |
You are not going out. | 0:00:09 | 0:00:11 | |
Why don't you chuck me out, like you did with Dad? | 0:00:11 | 0:00:14 | |
Oh, my God, it's like Narnia but sexy. | 0:00:14 | 0:00:18 | |
The girl from last night? We did it. | 0:00:18 | 0:00:21 | |
You are pregnant. This one even thinks it's twins. | 0:00:21 | 0:00:25 | |
-Did you even use protection? -Of course I did. I used a condom. | 0:00:25 | 0:00:28 | |
Yeah, but it really didn't look like you had it on right. | 0:00:28 | 0:00:30 | |
-How old are you? -16. | 0:00:30 | 0:00:32 | |
Arggghh! | 0:00:32 | 0:00:34 | |
This programme contains some strong language | 0:00:39 | 0:00:45 | |
Oh, my God. | 0:00:52 | 0:00:54 | |
I'm a rapist. | 0:00:54 | 0:00:55 | |
I'm a pregnant rapist. | 0:00:55 | 0:00:57 | |
You're not a rapist. I'm 16. And I consented. | 0:00:57 | 0:01:02 | |
A lot. | 0:01:02 | 0:01:03 | |
Towards the end, I'm pretty sure you did too. | 0:01:03 | 0:01:07 | |
Oh, OK. This is such a mess. I'm going to go. | 0:01:07 | 0:01:09 | |
But you asked me to come here. | 0:01:09 | 0:01:11 | |
That was when I thought you were 20. | 0:01:11 | 0:01:12 | |
Right now, I'm an ice cream and a zoo trip away from being on a register. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:16 | |
-So, what am I supposed to do? -Get back on your BMX, go home, | 0:01:16 | 0:01:18 | |
and just forget about the whole thing. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:20 | |
Hey, I didn't come here on my BMX. | 0:01:20 | 0:01:24 | |
My mum gave me a lift. | 0:01:24 | 0:01:26 | |
Come on, quick! | 0:01:36 | 0:01:38 | |
-So? -He was 16. -Oh, little bastard. | 0:01:41 | 0:01:45 | |
-What am I going to do? -It's going to be all right | 0:01:45 | 0:01:47 | |
because I have got you these. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:50 | |
No, I'm not ready to talk about this yet, Danielle. | 0:01:51 | 0:01:55 | |
Laura, you should at least consider it. | 0:01:55 | 0:01:57 | |
I know. | 0:01:57 | 0:01:59 | |
Oh, God. I just didn't think that I'd be the one having the abortion. | 0:02:00 | 0:02:06 | |
-Yeah, I know. My money was on Naomi Rushbrook. -Naomi Rushbrook. | 0:02:06 | 0:02:10 | |
Yeah, exactly. What a slut. | 0:02:10 | 0:02:12 | |
Not that you're a slut. | 0:02:12 | 0:02:14 | |
God, that's what people are going to say about me, isn't it? | 0:02:14 | 0:02:16 | |
No. Well, actually, yeah. But they weren't there. | 0:02:16 | 0:02:20 | |
I know you're not a slut. | 0:02:20 | 0:02:21 | |
A drunk and a borderline paedophile, maybe, but not a slut. | 0:02:21 | 0:02:25 | |
So, come on, just go and have a chat with them. | 0:02:25 | 0:02:27 | |
-Maybe they can fit you in tomorrow. -Yeah, OK. | 0:02:27 | 0:02:30 | |
Yeah? Because it's not just you this affects, you know. | 0:02:30 | 0:02:33 | |
What about me? | 0:02:33 | 0:02:35 | |
-I don't want to go to uni without my drinking buddy. -Yeah, I'm sorry. | 0:02:35 | 0:02:38 | |
See, your irresponsible actions have real consequences. | 0:02:38 | 0:02:40 | |
Yeah, I've noticed. | 0:02:40 | 0:02:42 | |
Oh. | 0:02:43 | 0:02:45 | |
Jamie's out somewhere but Mike's upstairs if you want him. | 0:02:45 | 0:02:48 | |
I'll wait. | 0:02:48 | 0:02:50 | |
All right, Beth love. You know, Mike's upstairs? | 0:02:53 | 0:02:56 | |
-Yep, so I heard. -Off to work. | 0:02:56 | 0:02:58 | |
-You asking or telling? -Telling. | 0:02:58 | 0:03:00 | |
-OK, see you later. -Have fun. -Unlikely. | 0:03:01 | 0:03:03 | |
-Is it his birthday? -Wedding anniversary. | 0:03:07 | 0:03:10 | |
-Oh, right, doing anything nice? -I'd be very surprised. | 0:03:10 | 0:03:14 | |
Keith's forgotten our anniversary for 14 years straight. | 0:03:14 | 0:03:17 | |
-Oh, right. Sorry. -No, it's all good. | 0:03:17 | 0:03:20 | |
As long as I remember and he forgets, I have the upper hand. | 0:03:20 | 0:03:24 | |
This is mainly tactical. In fact, you should know this. | 0:03:25 | 0:03:30 | |
Look at this card. | 0:03:31 | 0:03:32 | |
Yeah, it's nice. | 0:03:34 | 0:03:35 | |
No, it's not, it's awful. | 0:03:35 | 0:03:37 | |
However, Keith is a sucker for anything with penguins. | 0:03:37 | 0:03:40 | |
He will adore this card | 0:03:40 | 0:03:42 | |
and that'll make him feel really guilty that he didn't get me one. | 0:03:42 | 0:03:45 | |
-Aah. -Then he reads the message. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:48 | |
Two kisses. | 0:03:51 | 0:03:52 | |
-I don't get it. -One's casual, three, everything's fine but two... | 0:03:52 | 0:03:57 | |
No one does two, very unsettling number. | 0:03:57 | 0:04:00 | |
So, consciously he will realise that he's in big trouble | 0:04:00 | 0:04:03 | |
and he'll start trying very hard to make it up to me. | 0:04:03 | 0:04:06 | |
Oh, that's clever. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:08 | |
You see, Beth, relationships are basically strategy. | 0:04:08 | 0:04:11 | |
You accumulate small advantages | 0:04:11 | 0:04:13 | |
until your opponent has no option but to take you out for dinner. | 0:04:13 | 0:04:18 | |
Why doesn't my mum tell me this stuff? | 0:04:19 | 0:04:22 | |
The mystery man returns. Weren't up to any trouble, were we? | 0:04:23 | 0:04:28 | |
Ah. No. | 0:04:28 | 0:04:30 | |
Come on, Jamie. Mike's upstairs. Let's see how his morning went. | 0:04:33 | 0:04:36 | |
Here he comes. Beth, get out of the shot, | 0:04:39 | 0:04:41 | |
-I'm trying to capture the moment here. -Capture this. | 0:04:41 | 0:04:43 | |
So, how did it go? Wait, let me see if I can see from your expression. | 0:04:43 | 0:04:48 | |
-Just tell us. -It was awful. | 0:04:48 | 0:04:50 | |
-She basically said she never wants to see me again. -Yes, jackpot. | 0:04:50 | 0:04:53 | |
-She just dismissed me. -What a bitch. | 0:04:53 | 0:04:56 | |
I'm just saying, you should probably respect her wishes. | 0:04:57 | 0:05:00 | |
Yeah, it sounds like you got a free pass, mate. | 0:05:00 | 0:05:02 | |
I don't want a free pass. | 0:05:02 | 0:05:03 | |
I'm willing to take the consequences like a man. | 0:05:03 | 0:05:06 | |
Or, or, or you could avoid the consequences like a smart man. | 0:05:06 | 0:05:09 | |
I think we should just draw a line under it and move on. | 0:05:09 | 0:05:12 | |
It's not like you're going to marry this girl. | 0:05:12 | 0:05:15 | |
Oh. | 0:05:20 | 0:05:21 | |
That's brilliant. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:23 | |
If I propose. If I do the right thing, she can't just ignore that. | 0:05:23 | 0:05:28 | |
No, no, no. You can't do that. | 0:05:29 | 0:05:31 | |
I was saying not marry her. Not. | 0:05:31 | 0:05:34 | |
-No, no, no, it's perfect. -No, it's not. | 0:05:34 | 0:05:37 | |
Yeah, I mean she'll turn me down, she hates me. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:40 | |
But if I show that I'm willing to marry her, | 0:05:40 | 0:05:42 | |
she can't just write me off. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:44 | |
And what if she says yes, Jamie? Where will we all be then? | 0:05:44 | 0:05:49 | |
If she does say yes, I'm best man, right? | 0:05:54 | 0:05:57 | |
So, Janet, Alan has said that he has regrets about his actions. | 0:06:02 | 0:06:07 | |
Yeah, well, so he should. | 0:06:07 | 0:06:08 | |
Can you tell us, what are you hearing when he says that? | 0:06:08 | 0:06:13 | |
I'm hearing that Alan is acknowledging that he has regrets | 0:06:13 | 0:06:18 | |
but I think his main regret is | 0:06:18 | 0:06:20 | |
that he got caught bending his PA over his desk. | 0:06:20 | 0:06:22 | |
-I don't think that's what he's saying. -I think it is, actually | 0:06:22 | 0:06:25 | |
I think Alan is starting to think this is a bit of a waste of time. | 0:06:25 | 0:06:29 | |
No, no, no, this is good. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:31 | |
A healthy amount of confrontation is good here. | 0:06:31 | 0:06:35 | |
Er, naturally, you'll both have unresolved feelings | 0:06:35 | 0:06:40 | |
about the affair. | 0:06:40 | 0:06:41 | |
-Don't you mean affairs? -No, he means affair. -Affairs. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:43 | |
-It was one affair. -Well, forgive me if I don't take your word for that. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:47 | |
-OK, can anyone see a negative pattern here? -I can. | 0:06:49 | 0:06:52 | |
Is it the one where Alan sleeps with people from work and lies about it? | 0:06:52 | 0:06:56 | |
Is it the one where Janet is a cold bitch all of the time? | 0:06:56 | 0:06:58 | |
OK, let's try and de-escalate for a moment. | 0:06:58 | 0:07:03 | |
Can you remember last week when I asked you both to sit down | 0:07:03 | 0:07:08 | |
and draw up a list of positive aspects of your family life? | 0:07:08 | 0:07:13 | |
-Yes, we didn't really have time. -I did. | 0:07:13 | 0:07:15 | |
OK, Janet, what was on the list? | 0:07:15 | 0:07:17 | |
-Well, it said Laura, university, her law degree. -Hmm. | 0:07:17 | 0:07:22 | |
Good, good. | 0:07:22 | 0:07:25 | |
Yes, because it's an exciting time for you both, isn't it? | 0:07:25 | 0:07:28 | |
And for Laura. | 0:07:28 | 0:07:30 | |
So, for homework, I'd like you to organise | 0:07:30 | 0:07:33 | |
an activity around Laura. | 0:07:33 | 0:07:36 | |
Is this something you think you could both do? | 0:07:36 | 0:07:39 | |
I can, if he can. | 0:07:43 | 0:07:45 | |
-Fine by me. -Yeah, fine. -Fine. -Fine. | 0:07:45 | 0:07:49 | |
OK, good. Good. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:51 | |
Fine. | 0:07:51 | 0:07:52 | |
We generally say that a good price guide is one to two months' salary. | 0:08:03 | 0:08:06 | |
Do you have anything in a Kinder Egg? | 0:08:06 | 0:08:08 | |
What about these ones? Are they engagement rings? | 0:08:08 | 0:08:12 | |
Technically, yes. They're obviously smaller | 0:08:12 | 0:08:15 | |
and of a slightly lower clarity. | 0:08:15 | 0:08:16 | |
But still very nice rings. | 0:08:16 | 0:08:18 | |
No, no. I definitely wouldn't say yes on the basis of this. | 0:08:21 | 0:08:25 | |
I'm not asking you. | 0:08:25 | 0:08:26 | |
But if you thought this was all I was worth, I'd be heartbroken. | 0:08:26 | 0:08:29 | |
I mean, this is supposed to be the happiest day of my life. | 0:08:29 | 0:08:32 | |
-That's the wedding. -There's not going to be a wedding. | 0:08:32 | 0:08:34 | |
Yeah, not with this piece of junk, there's isn't. | 0:08:34 | 0:08:37 | |
Maybe it is a little bit small. It needs to look like I really mean it. | 0:08:37 | 0:08:41 | |
I need to see it on. | 0:08:41 | 0:08:43 | |
-Not on you. -If you must. | 0:08:45 | 0:08:47 | |
No, you've got tiny, little, toddler hands, Beth. | 0:08:49 | 0:08:52 | |
I need to see it on a normal woman's hand. | 0:08:52 | 0:08:55 | |
You see, that doesn't look so bad. | 0:09:00 | 0:09:03 | |
Wow. | 0:09:04 | 0:09:05 | |
You've got lovely hands. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:08 | |
-I'm not authorised to give discounts. -Yeah. | 0:09:08 | 0:09:12 | |
-So, what d'you think? Think Laura'd go for that? -I thought you didn't want her to. | 0:09:12 | 0:09:15 | |
No, but, in theory, does it look good enough? | 0:09:15 | 0:09:18 | |
Don't ask me and you shouldn't be supporting the diamond trade anyway. It's immoral. | 0:09:18 | 0:09:21 | |
Actually, all of our rings are certified. | 0:09:21 | 0:09:24 | |
Oh, and you've confirmed that with head office have you, Julie? | 0:09:24 | 0:09:27 | |
They run the whole supply chain past you first, do they? | 0:09:27 | 0:09:30 | |
I suppose you check the provenence of every diamond | 0:09:30 | 0:09:32 | |
to make sure they're not funding African warlords. | 0:09:32 | 0:09:35 | |
Is that how you get your perfect tan, | 0:09:35 | 0:09:37 | |
brokering peace deals in Sierra Leone? | 0:09:37 | 0:09:39 | |
How many more have to die, Julie? Julie, answer me! | 0:09:40 | 0:09:45 | |
Nice one, Beth. Couldn't you have waited till we'd bought one? | 0:09:45 | 0:09:48 | |
And join the web of complicity like the bloody UN? | 0:09:48 | 0:09:50 | |
You didn't have to call her a child murderer. | 0:09:50 | 0:09:52 | |
She is a child murderer. And you're an idiot. | 0:09:52 | 0:09:55 | |
Beth? Is this because I said you got toddler fingers? | 0:09:56 | 0:10:00 | |
Come on. Doesn't matter anyway, | 0:10:02 | 0:10:04 | |
even the cheapest ring would have cleaned me out. | 0:10:04 | 0:10:06 | |
Just get online. Put it on your parents' credit card. | 0:10:06 | 0:10:09 | |
Then you've got seven days. Pop the question, get the no, | 0:10:09 | 0:10:12 | |
send it back and get a refund. | 0:10:12 | 0:10:13 | |
And your statutory rights are not affected. | 0:10:13 | 0:10:15 | |
-Can you do that? -Yeah, I do it all the time. | 0:10:15 | 0:10:17 | |
That's how comes I got this camera. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:19 | |
Look. | 0:10:20 | 0:10:22 | |
-Come here. -What you doing? | 0:10:22 | 0:10:24 | |
Come on, Jamie. You can't put a price on memories. | 0:10:24 | 0:10:28 | |
# Memories. # | 0:10:28 | 0:10:29 | |
Going in to town? | 0:10:37 | 0:10:38 | |
-Er, yeah. -So are we. | 0:10:40 | 0:10:42 | |
-Oh. Both of you? -Yes. -Together? | 0:10:42 | 0:10:47 | |
Yes, we're going to do some shopping. | 0:10:47 | 0:10:50 | |
Oh. OK, well, have fun. | 0:10:50 | 0:10:53 | |
No, actually, we thought we'd go together, you know, pick up the stuff you need for university. | 0:10:53 | 0:10:57 | |
Oh, no, no. I can get all that myself. Thank you though. | 0:10:57 | 0:11:01 | |
Oh, come on. It'll be...fun. | 0:11:01 | 0:11:03 | |
-Really? -Yes, like a family outing. -Like a family outing, exactly. | 0:11:05 | 0:11:10 | |
-Um. -Well, you haven't got anything special planned, have you? | 0:11:10 | 0:11:14 | |
No. No, just meeting Danielle. | 0:11:14 | 0:11:17 | |
-Well. Great. -Hmm. -The more the merrier. | 0:11:17 | 0:11:20 | |
OK. We're all going. OK. | 0:11:23 | 0:11:27 | |
Ooh. Here we all go. Together. | 0:11:27 | 0:11:30 | |
Cheers. | 0:11:38 | 0:11:39 | |
No, Mum, please. I don't need any more bed linen. | 0:11:49 | 0:11:53 | |
Laura, we should get going. | 0:11:53 | 0:11:55 | |
We promised to meet Naomi Rushbrook at 12:15. | 0:11:55 | 0:11:59 | |
Yes, we should go, because we don't want to be late for her. | 0:11:59 | 0:12:02 | |
I thought you didn't like Naomi Rushbrook. | 0:12:02 | 0:12:05 | |
I always thought she was a very nice girl. | 0:12:05 | 0:12:07 | |
Thank you for everything, | 0:12:07 | 0:12:09 | |
but we should go. She's only got a 20 minute slot. Oh. | 0:12:09 | 0:12:12 | |
But we've still got to get your toaster. | 0:12:12 | 0:12:15 | |
Well, that was 300 quid well spent. | 0:12:18 | 0:12:19 | |
-Hi, I'm Laura, I have a 12:15 appointment. -Take a seat. | 0:12:24 | 0:12:26 | |
Thank you. | 0:12:26 | 0:12:28 | |
Thank you. | 0:12:33 | 0:12:35 | |
Can't resist a sale. | 0:12:42 | 0:12:44 | |
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's much more the sort of thing I had in mind. | 0:12:50 | 0:12:55 | |
Although I think the phrasing of the question is going to be crucial. | 0:12:55 | 0:12:58 | |
So, as best man, I've written down a few options here. | 0:12:58 | 0:13:02 | |
# Ta da! # | 0:13:04 | 0:13:05 | |
'Hi, this is Laura, leave a message.' | 0:13:05 | 0:13:08 | |
You promise she's not going to find a better man, | 0:13:08 | 0:13:10 | |
especially now she's up the duff. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:13 | |
16-year-olds have a lot to offer. | 0:13:14 | 0:13:16 | |
Discounted bus travel, cheaper cinema tickets. | 0:13:16 | 0:13:19 | |
Oh, this is a good one. | 0:13:19 | 0:13:20 | |
Right, if it she looks like she's not going for it, | 0:13:20 | 0:13:22 | |
say you'll throw in a rolling, six-month, quickie divorce option... | 0:13:22 | 0:13:25 | |
-'Hi, this is Laura...' -..no questions asked. | 0:13:25 | 0:13:27 | |
Laura, it's Jamie, again. | 0:13:27 | 0:13:32 | |
Just in case you didn't get my other messages. | 0:13:32 | 0:13:35 | |
I'd really like to speak to you. So, just give me a call, please. | 0:13:35 | 0:13:41 | |
-No, don't say please. -Just call me, OK? | 0:13:41 | 0:13:46 | |
She's just ignoring me. | 0:13:49 | 0:13:51 | |
Right, we're going to have to go stalker on her, | 0:13:51 | 0:13:54 | |
bombard her with texts until she calls you back. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:56 | |
No, Mike. Give it back. | 0:13:56 | 0:13:58 | |
Mike, Mike, give me the phone. | 0:13:58 | 0:13:59 | |
-Mike, don't! -Jamie, yes. | 0:13:59 | 0:14:01 | |
No, Mike. Mike! | 0:14:01 | 0:14:04 | |
-Mike! don't. -Trust me. | 0:14:04 | 0:14:06 | |
I'm the only one thinking straight in this equation. | 0:14:06 | 0:14:08 | |
I really doubt that. Open the door. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:10 | |
Someone has to take responsibility here, Jamie. | 0:14:10 | 0:14:12 | |
-You'll thank me for this later. -No, I won't. Mike! | 0:14:12 | 0:14:15 | |
Argh! | 0:14:17 | 0:14:18 | |
And do you know an approximate date | 0:14:19 | 0:14:22 | |
of when you think you may have conceived? | 0:14:22 | 0:14:23 | |
Yeah, I think I can tie that down pretty specifically. | 0:14:23 | 0:14:28 | |
Well, initially, we'll take you for an ultrasound scan. | 0:14:28 | 0:14:31 | |
That'll just confirm how many weeks you are into the pregnancy. | 0:14:31 | 0:14:34 | |
PHONE BEEPS | 0:14:34 | 0:14:36 | |
-Sorry. -It's OK. | 0:14:37 | 0:14:38 | |
It will affect the type of procedure that we use for the actual abortion, | 0:14:38 | 0:14:42 | |
if you do decide to go ahead with it. | 0:14:42 | 0:14:44 | |
-PHONE BEEPS Sorry. Sorry. -That's OK, it's fine. | 0:14:44 | 0:14:47 | |
Now, obviously you'll want to take some time to think this all through. | 0:14:47 | 0:14:51 | |
There may be other people you want to discuss it with. | 0:14:51 | 0:14:53 | |
I mean, you parents or partner maybe. | 0:14:53 | 0:14:56 | |
Medically speaking, the sooner you choose, the better. | 0:14:56 | 0:14:59 | |
PHONE VIBRATES | 0:14:59 | 0:15:00 | |
Sorry, I'm going to turn this off. | 0:15:00 | 0:15:02 | |
Laura, you understand, | 0:15:02 | 0:15:04 | |
we can give you all the support you need | 0:15:04 | 0:15:07 | |
but the decision has to be yours, OK? | 0:15:07 | 0:15:09 | |
-OK. -Maybe you should just answer that. -Thank you. | 0:15:10 | 0:15:14 | |
-Hello? -'Mike, I swear I'll fuck you up.' | 0:15:15 | 0:15:18 | |
-Ah, ah. It's for your own good! -Give. Give it! | 0:15:18 | 0:15:22 | |
-Give it! -No. Everything I do is love of you, Jamie. | 0:15:26 | 0:15:30 | |
God, you're strong. Ah! | 0:15:30 | 0:15:33 | |
Something isn't working. I don't even know why we bother! | 0:15:41 | 0:15:44 | |
Don't bother with any of it! | 0:15:44 | 0:15:47 | |
Laura! | 0:15:48 | 0:15:50 | |
-Jamie! What the hell are you doing here? -I wanted to talk to you. | 0:15:52 | 0:15:56 | |
-Now is not a good time. -Look, I know you think I'm just a kid. | 0:15:56 | 0:15:58 | |
But I want to prove to you that I'm serious. | 0:15:58 | 0:16:01 | |
Oh, my God, what are you doing? | 0:16:02 | 0:16:04 | |
The right thing. I'm asking you to marry me. | 0:16:04 | 0:16:06 | |
-Oh, my God, stop being such an idiot, get up! -No, no, no, I'm doing this. | 0:16:06 | 0:16:10 | |
Laura, I want you to know that I'm here to support you | 0:16:11 | 0:16:14 | |
-and be involved and do whatever it takes. -Yes! | 0:16:14 | 0:16:18 | |
-What? -Yes! | 0:16:18 | 0:16:19 | |
-Yes? -Yes, let's get married. Yes. A thousand times, yes. | 0:16:21 | 0:16:26 | |
I'm totally in. Ah! | 0:16:26 | 0:16:28 | |
This is the most thrilling moment of my entire life. | 0:16:28 | 0:16:31 | |
Now, what? | 0:16:31 | 0:16:32 | |
-What do you mean? -Well, obviously there's going to be a big wedding. | 0:16:32 | 0:16:38 | |
Well, yeah, eventually, I suppose, but it was more about me... | 0:16:38 | 0:16:41 | |
-Are you saying I'm not going to get my big wedding? -No. -My day, my way. | 0:16:41 | 0:16:44 | |
-I, er... -Good. That's the wedding planned. Then what? | 0:16:44 | 0:16:46 | |
I don't know. I hadn't really thought that far ahead. | 0:16:47 | 0:16:50 | |
Oh, you hadn't thought that far ahead. | 0:16:50 | 0:16:52 | |
That surprises me, cos this all seemed so well planned. | 0:16:52 | 0:16:54 | |
No, I just wanted to show you that I'm here for you. | 0:16:54 | 0:16:56 | |
-Really? -Yeah, whatever you need. | 0:16:56 | 0:16:58 | |
OK, I need to find a way of telling my parents that I'm pregnant | 0:16:58 | 0:17:00 | |
-without them disowning me. Could you sort that out? -Erm. | 0:17:00 | 0:17:04 | |
Also, I need to find a way of supporting myself in university | 0:17:04 | 0:17:06 | |
whilst paying for a baby. | 0:17:06 | 0:17:08 | |
-Or were you planning to cover that? -I hadn't. I don't know. | 0:17:08 | 0:17:12 | |
No, you don't because you're just a kid | 0:17:12 | 0:17:14 | |
and have no idea what the hell you're doing. | 0:17:14 | 0:17:16 | |
-Who's that? -Don't know. | 0:17:16 | 0:17:18 | |
You know? | 0:17:19 | 0:17:21 | |
This isn't some little fantasyland where you can give me a magic ring | 0:17:21 | 0:17:24 | |
and suddenly everything will all be OK. DOOR OPENS | 0:17:24 | 0:17:27 | |
-This is real, OK? -Erm. -I am having a baby! | 0:17:27 | 0:17:30 | |
Oh, she must really hate you. | 0:17:40 | 0:17:42 | |
First you get her knocked up, | 0:17:42 | 0:17:44 | |
then you pick the worst way to tell her parents. | 0:17:44 | 0:17:46 | |
Technically, I didn't, she did. | 0:17:46 | 0:17:47 | |
Yeah, can't see what her problem is(!) | 0:17:47 | 0:17:49 | |
Well, at least we all know where we stand. | 0:17:49 | 0:17:51 | |
Apart from your mum and dad. I notice you haven't told them yet. | 0:17:51 | 0:17:55 | |
Yeah, well, I want to pick the right moment. | 0:17:55 | 0:17:57 | |
-Wouldn't want to get the timing wrong on something like that. -Shut up. | 0:17:57 | 0:18:00 | |
Hey. | 0:18:00 | 0:18:02 | |
Where's the ring? | 0:18:02 | 0:18:04 | |
Oh, God, I thought her dad was going to hit me | 0:18:04 | 0:18:07 | |
-so I used one of your lines. -Oh, God, what was his line? | 0:18:07 | 0:18:11 | |
What the hell is this? | 0:18:11 | 0:18:14 | |
It's a sign of my commitment to you... | 0:18:14 | 0:18:17 | |
Laura, I mean Laura and our unborn child. Hers and mine. | 0:18:17 | 0:18:21 | |
Not yours and mine, obviously. | 0:18:21 | 0:18:22 | |
And I'm not saying it's forever, let's just see how it goes. | 0:18:24 | 0:18:27 | |
Oh, and I'll throw in a rolling, six-months, | 0:18:30 | 0:18:32 | |
no-questions-asked divorce option. | 0:18:32 | 0:18:34 | |
-And that didn't win him over? -No! It just made him very, very angry. | 0:18:35 | 0:18:40 | |
He threw the ring away and then chucked me off the property. | 0:18:40 | 0:18:43 | |
KNOCKING ON DOOR | 0:18:43 | 0:18:46 | |
Jamie love, can you make yourself scarce tomorrow evening? | 0:18:46 | 0:18:49 | |
Uh, yeah, why? | 0:18:49 | 0:18:51 | |
By some miracle, | 0:18:51 | 0:18:53 | |
-your father has actually remembered our wedding anniversary. -Right. | 0:18:53 | 0:18:56 | |
It's so sweet. He's spent a fortune buying a piece of jewellery online. | 0:18:56 | 0:19:02 | |
Really? Are you sure? | 0:19:02 | 0:19:04 | |
I found out when the credit company did a security check | 0:19:04 | 0:19:08 | |
to authorise the payment. | 0:19:08 | 0:19:10 | |
-He almost pulled it off, bless him. -Aah. That's so... | 0:19:10 | 0:19:13 | |
You haven't told him that you know though, right? | 0:19:16 | 0:19:18 | |
Oh, no, no, I'm playing along. | 0:19:18 | 0:19:20 | |
But I'm going to do a little surprise of my own. | 0:19:20 | 0:19:22 | |
I'm going to cook him steak, his favourite. | 0:19:22 | 0:19:24 | |
Can't let him outmanoeuvre me, eh? | 0:19:24 | 0:19:26 | |
Oh, God, I need to get the ring back! | 0:19:32 | 0:19:34 | |
All right, calm down. Don't go all Gollum about it. | 0:19:34 | 0:19:37 | |
I can't go back. Everyone there wants to kill me. | 0:19:37 | 0:19:40 | |
Hey, don't worry, Jamie. I'll get the ring. | 0:19:40 | 0:19:42 | |
After all, it's part of the best man's responsibilities. | 0:19:42 | 0:19:44 | |
Mike, I'm not getting married! | 0:19:44 | 0:19:46 | |
Hey, come on, don't give up hope. | 0:19:46 | 0:19:48 | |
Sooo, | 0:19:51 | 0:19:53 | |
how did the shopping trip go? | 0:19:53 | 0:19:56 | |
I'm sensing it wasn't a total success. | 0:20:02 | 0:20:06 | |
No, it went swimmingly, Jeremy. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:09 | |
Right up until the point our daughter told us she was pregnant. | 0:20:11 | 0:20:14 | |
Right. | 0:20:16 | 0:20:17 | |
OK, so how do we feel about this news? | 0:20:17 | 0:20:22 | |
How do you think we feel? | 0:20:23 | 0:20:25 | |
We're absolutely furious. | 0:20:27 | 0:20:29 | |
And somewhat disappointed. | 0:20:32 | 0:20:34 | |
Hmm, Hmm. | 0:20:34 | 0:20:37 | |
Yes, well, taking the positives, | 0:20:37 | 0:20:40 | |
I suppose there is some common ground there, at least. | 0:20:40 | 0:20:44 | |
You know what, Jeremy? | 0:20:47 | 0:20:50 | |
I think our time is up. | 0:20:50 | 0:20:51 | |
BEEPING | 0:21:14 | 0:21:17 | |
Oh, my God. | 0:21:36 | 0:21:38 | |
PHONE RINGS | 0:21:39 | 0:21:41 | |
-Yes? -Have you got it? | 0:21:46 | 0:21:49 | |
Negative, but I have found a lot of weird stuff. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:51 | |
I'm not sure this is the sort of family you want to get involved with. | 0:21:51 | 0:21:54 | |
Why? What's wrong with them? | 0:21:54 | 0:21:56 | |
Well, from the case I'm building, | 0:21:56 | 0:21:58 | |
I think they may have killed one or more old women. | 0:21:58 | 0:22:01 | |
-What are you talking about? -Serial homicide, potentially. | 0:22:01 | 0:22:04 | |
We're through the looking glass here, Jamie. | 0:22:06 | 0:22:09 | |
DOOR OPENS AND DOG BARKS | 0:22:09 | 0:22:11 | |
Wait. I may be compromised. | 0:22:11 | 0:22:13 | |
-Abort. -What are you doing? -Abort, abort, abort. | 0:22:13 | 0:22:17 | |
DIALLING TONE | 0:22:17 | 0:22:19 | |
They're not even talking to me now. | 0:22:21 | 0:22:24 | |
No, it's a relief. | 0:22:24 | 0:22:27 | |
I don't know what I'm going to do. | 0:22:27 | 0:22:30 | |
DOG BARKS | 0:22:30 | 0:22:33 | |
Get out, you. | 0:22:33 | 0:22:35 | |
Hold on, something's kicking off next door. | 0:22:35 | 0:22:37 | |
I'm going! Argh! | 0:22:37 | 0:22:39 | |
Blimey, San, you look nice. What's the occasion? | 0:22:42 | 0:22:46 | |
Very funny. You not going to change? | 0:22:46 | 0:22:48 | |
Nah, got another day or two left in this. | 0:22:48 | 0:22:51 | |
See you later. | 0:22:51 | 0:22:54 | |
What? | 0:22:55 | 0:22:56 | |
Keith, do you not know what night it is? | 0:22:57 | 0:22:59 | |
Yeah. Course. | 0:22:59 | 0:23:02 | |
It's darts night. | 0:23:05 | 0:23:07 | |
See you later. | 0:23:07 | 0:23:08 | |
Hiya, Mike, you all right? | 0:23:14 | 0:23:15 | |
Not really. I've torn my tactical vest. | 0:23:15 | 0:23:20 | |
Great. Jamie, your mate's here. See you later. | 0:23:20 | 0:23:23 | |
See ya. | 0:23:23 | 0:23:24 | |
Hi. | 0:23:24 | 0:23:26 | |
I have to say, Laura's dad moves pretty fast for a 70-year-old. | 0:23:32 | 0:23:36 | |
-That's not her dad. -Come out of her house. | 0:23:36 | 0:23:40 | |
Is that a seven or a nine? | 0:23:48 | 0:23:49 | |
Here you go, boys. | 0:23:51 | 0:23:52 | |
Griddled fillet steak with a beetroot rosti. | 0:23:54 | 0:23:57 | |
And if you need me, I'll be on the couch having tiramisu. | 0:23:57 | 0:24:02 | |
Oh, bollocks. | 0:24:36 | 0:24:38 | |
-So, I was thinking of booking us a table... -Don't bother. | 0:24:45 | 0:24:49 | |
What's this? | 0:24:54 | 0:24:56 | |
It's a credit card statement | 0:24:57 | 0:24:59 | |
saying that you have spent 600 quid on jewellery. | 0:24:59 | 0:25:03 | |
Can you shed any light? And, before you answer, | 0:25:03 | 0:25:05 | |
bear in mind, I still have one dart left. | 0:25:05 | 0:25:08 | |
-I've no idea what this is. -Oh, come on, Keith. | 0:25:11 | 0:25:13 | |
It came to this address and I never use that card. | 0:25:13 | 0:25:15 | |
Who else is going to spend 600 quid on it? | 0:25:15 | 0:25:18 | |
Oh. | 0:25:25 | 0:25:27 | |
So, you start, yes? | 0:25:31 | 0:25:32 | |
Hmm, yes. And you can just jump in when you think. It'll be fine. | 0:25:32 | 0:25:36 | |
Oh, we're not going shopping again, are we? | 0:25:38 | 0:25:41 | |
Now, we've had a chat and discussed all the options. | 0:25:41 | 0:25:44 | |
And we want to deal with this together. | 0:25:44 | 0:25:46 | |
Now, your dad's been on the Internet and he's got lots of information. | 0:25:46 | 0:25:50 | |
Now, it's entirely up to you, | 0:25:50 | 0:25:52 | |
you can go NHS or private, we'll cover everything. | 0:25:52 | 0:25:55 | |
It might be better not to go through the family GP. | 0:25:55 | 0:25:58 | |
-Jim Norris is a good friend. -Hmm. | 0:25:58 | 0:26:00 | |
-Obviously, there is a time limit. -Completely up to you, darling. | 0:26:02 | 0:26:06 | |
But when you've made your decision, just let us know. | 0:26:06 | 0:26:08 | |
Why does everyone keep saying that to me? | 0:26:08 | 0:26:10 | |
Everybody keeps saying it's my choice and you all tell me what to do. | 0:26:10 | 0:26:13 | |
If you're all so bloody pro-choice then just let me decide. | 0:26:13 | 0:26:16 | |
And what do you want to do? | 0:26:16 | 0:26:19 | |
I don't know what I want to do! I don't know what I want to do. OK? | 0:26:19 | 0:26:22 | |
That's my decision. I don't know! | 0:26:22 | 0:26:24 | |
Oh, shit. | 0:26:30 | 0:26:32 | |
-You idiot. -I know. | 0:26:32 | 0:26:34 | |
I should have told you, but I was trying to do the right thing. | 0:26:36 | 0:26:39 | |
Oh, come here, you dozy sod. | 0:26:39 | 0:26:42 | |
It will be all right. | 0:26:45 | 0:26:46 | |
-Oh, that poor, bloody girl. What's her name again? -Laura. -Laura. | 0:26:47 | 0:26:51 | |
I'm sorry if I've let you down. | 0:26:52 | 0:26:55 | |
MOUTHS: Say something. | 0:26:55 | 0:26:57 | |
Hey, come on, son. | 0:27:00 | 0:27:03 | |
We all make mistakes. | 0:27:03 | 0:27:04 | |
It's not exactly like you were planned either. | 0:27:04 | 0:27:07 | |
Oh, great(!) | 0:27:22 | 0:27:24 | |
SHE SOBS | 0:27:24 | 0:27:26 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:27:41 | 0:27:45 |