Pennod 4 Anita


Pennod 4

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-I've never had a Nain.

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-My Nana Shaughnessy died

-when I was two...

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-..and my Granny Ranieri, well,

-I don't know if she even exists.

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-So how lucky am I...

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-..that I've landed with Vivs

-as the first Nain I've ever had?

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-I dunno what any of us

-would do without her sometimes.

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-Oh, flip! Sorry.

-I'll stick this in the freezer.

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-It's fine.

-I'll have these for lunch.

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-Are you sure? 'Cos I don't wanna...

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-Are you sure? 'Cos I don't wanna...

-

-Thanks, love.

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-Oh, OK. Well, laters.

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-Ta-ra.

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-Ta-ra, love.

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-Oh, Dyl.

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-Fill this with your washing

-will you, sweetheart?

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-Oh, no need, Nain. Jools and I

-did a machine full last night.

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-About time I learned how the Swish

-Swish Box worked, don't you think?

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-Absolutely!

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-I'm making lobscouse for dinner.

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-I'm making lobscouse for dinner.

-

-Lobscouse!

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-I don't know what that is

-but it sounds tres exotique!

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-But sorry, I'm doing an extra shift

-for Stan tonight.

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-Soz.

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-Dyl?

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-Sorry, I'm off to the cinema

-with the lads tonight.

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-Popcorn and lobscouse

-is asking for trouble. Ta-ra!

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-Ta-ra.

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-Lobscouse tonight, Bedwyr.

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-Bedwyr! Lobscouse tonight?

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-Yeah?

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-Oh, heck!

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-I've promised to take whats-her-name

-to the whatsit.

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-Where?

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-Anyway. Bye now!

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-Winnie.

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-Here you are, petal.

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-Gwyneth.

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-Ooh!

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-Good news? Won the lottery?

-This place could do with an 'ot tub.

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-D'you remember Guto?

-My sister's daughter's son?

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-Hang on with your sons and daughters

-and sisters.

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-My great nephew.

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-Oh, the one who won first prize

-in Eisteddfod Mon for the dialogue.

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-That's the one.

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-He's got a part

-with the Mon theatre company.

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-They're doing Pum Diwrnod o Ryddid

-in the Little Theatre in Llangefni.

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-I loves Pum Diwrnod o Ryddid!

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-Jools was one of the peasants

-when she did it up the Gyfun.

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-Brilliant! What was that song now?

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-# We're on our way to freedom

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-# We want justice for the country #

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-It's brilliant! When's it on?

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-End of the month.

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-End of the month.

-

-Right. We all gorra go.

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-Right, hands up

-who wants to go and see The Pum?

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-I'm going to phone Medwyn Tyres,

-right...

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-..and he can give the minibus

-a good going over soon as.

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-It's brilliant!

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-# We're on our way to freedom #

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-I've been trying to phone my dad

-to see if I've got another Nain.

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-But he's constantly engaged.

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-Not like him. Lol.

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-I really need to know

-what's in my genes.

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-Oh, come on, Dad!

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-This lady will pay for everything.

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-OK. So you say, "This lady -

-she will pay for everything."

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-Si.

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-Me now.

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-Would you like to dance with me?

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-Of course I would love

-to dance with you, Stan.

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-But you being in Moelfre

-and everything - difficult.

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-Funny!

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-Clive?

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-Um? Right.

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-Si.

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-I've forgotten.

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-OK.

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-So, you forget.

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-Si.

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-Si.

-

-You forget what?

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-Dunno.

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-That's all I've got.

-Mi sono dimenticato.

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-What the heck you doin'?

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-Mike?!

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-Julietta.

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-Italian Club. Every Wednesday.

-Starting today.

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-Mike's teaching us

-how to "parla Italiano".

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-So it's you who've been hoggin'

-FaceTime for, like, an hour.

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-Hi, Medwyn? Hiya.

-Anita from Bodlondeb.

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-What it is, right,

-I just tried the minibus...

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-..'cos I'm taking the residents

-to see Pum Diwrnod o Ryddid in...

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-Yes!

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-# We're on our way to freedom #

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-Tune, right?!

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-I know!

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-Anyway, when I turn the engine on...

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-..it does a massive choke

-and it don't move an inch.

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-Oh, OK.

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-So how much does one of them cost?

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-How much?!

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-Three hundred quid for a...!

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-Oh, that's put a spoke in the wheel.

-We haven't got three hundred quid.

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-You can send someone today.

-To gerrit goin'?

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-Brilliant. Worra warrior!

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-Is it still

-gonna cost three hundred quid?

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-Yeah. Alright, babes. Thanks.

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-Bang goes me 'ot tub.

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-Cled!

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-Coffee please, Jools.

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-Hey, Cled,

-you'll never believe this.

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-Jools's nain used to sing

-in La Scala, Milan.

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-Her Cosi Fan Tutti

-was something to behold!

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-Stan! Were you listening

-to my convo on FaceTime?

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-And her taid, Giuseppe Ranieri...

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-..was the town mayor in charge

-of everything. A hell of a boy.

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-Stan!

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-I couldn't not hear, could I?

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-Ah, Viviano!

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-Ciao amore!

-Ti andrebbe un sandwich?

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-Why not?

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-Thanks, Dei. Grazie!

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-I'll have a cuppa too

-if you're offering.

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-This lady will pay for everything.

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-Hi, Vivs. It's so nice to see

-someone with an actual brain here.

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-Well, I didn't have anything

-to do. Everyone's done it!

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-And I couldn't be bothered

-to cook for myself today...

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-..so I thought some fresh air and

-Stan's curly fries would do me good.

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-How about a lasagne sandwich?

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-It's Italian Wednesday.

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-Oh, yeah! Why not?

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-Oh, it's so nice to see you all.

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-Winne, have you got two minutes?

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-There's been a bit of a setback

-with the Pum.

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-Look what Guto sent me

-on the Snapchat.

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-Here he is

-in his James Morris costume.

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-Isn't he handsome?

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-Oh! It'll be a trip and a half.

-I can't wait.

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-You're here already! Medwyn Tyres

-don't 'ang about, do he?

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-Wanna cuppa before you start?

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-She's in a right state.

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-Every time we turn her over, she

-does this massive choking noise...

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-..then she just shudders

-and then, pff, nothing.

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-I put a brush up her pipe 'cos I

-thought it was a back end problem...

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-..but I'm convinced

-it's her undercarriage now.

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-I'm no expert but I think

-if you get your hands dirty...

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-..and have a good rummage, I reckon

-you can get her goin' again.

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-She looks OK to me.

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-She looks OK to me.

-

-Oh, you've 'ad a look already.

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-Fair play.

-She's on her last legs, isn't she?

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-But she's doing a crossword.

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-But she's doing a crossword.

-

-Who?

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-Auntie Luned. Luned Thomas.

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-Oh, so you're not

-from Medwyn Tyres' Garage.

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-No.

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-And there was me talkin' about the

-undercarriage and the rummagin'...

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-Sorry. The minibus has broken.

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-I've promised to take this lot

-to see Pum Diwrnod o Ryddid...

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-..in Llangefni and if I don't get

-my hands on 300 pretty sharpish...

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-..I'm gonna have to take 'em all

-in a wheelbarrow.

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-Or worse still, not at all.

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-Or worse still, not at all.

-

-Sorry to hear that.

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-If you want me to help raise money

-or something...

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-Aww, that's nice of you. Like wha',

-like? Any good at fairy cakes?

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-Anyway, turns out

-that Eluned's nephew...

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-..played a bit of football

-in his day...

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-..and he goes,

-"I'll get a team together."

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-And I goes, "And me an' all."

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-So we're going to have

-a five-a-side thing.

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-Who is he then?

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-What was his name now?

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-Um. Iwan? Owen? Owain?

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-One of them.

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-What, and then charge

-for people to come and see us?

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-Yeah. We was thinkin' a fiver.

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-Five Days of Freedom, five-a-side,

-five quid.

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-Yeah! All the fives.

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-Yeah! All the fives.

-

-I'll be captain.

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-Once upon a time, a long time ago...

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-..I was on

-Wolverhampton Wanderers' books.

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-No way!

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-No way!

-

-What happened?

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-It were me temper. But Clive Jackson

-is ready for a comeback.

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-So, The OwainIwanOwen Five

-against the Jackson Five!

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-Hey, guys!

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-Gosh! Kev, as I live and breathe!

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-Who?

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-Dei's brother from Canada.

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-Ooh, he's changed.

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-.

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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-There he was, on his haunches in the

-paddling pool, and I said to him...

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-"Get oot! This is not

-what I was talking aboot."

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-Cor, Vivs, this is lovely.

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-Lucky you landed, Kev. We were

-supposed to have lobscouse tonight.

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-That's also lovely, of course.

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-I can't remember

-the last time I had lobscouse.

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-You should put lobscouse on your

-menu in your restaurant in Canada.

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-Dunno. Not a lot of call for it

-in patisseries.

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-Unless there are

-lobscouse profiteroles out there.

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-Oh, my life!

-Can you make profiteroles?

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-I make about 300 of the blighters

-every day.

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-So is cakes your speciality?

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-So is cakes your speciality?

-

-Say what you are. Go on, say.

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-Masterbaker.

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-Every time.

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-So, turns out,

-Kev packed his patisserie in...

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-..and moved back to Moels

-after dumping his girlfriend...

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-..'cos he found her boss

-in his house, in a paddling pool.

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-On his haunches.

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-Then Kev

-kicked him in his haunches.

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-Kev is lols!

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-Mmm. This is delicious.

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-It looks like I deffo got my Taid

-Giuseppe's genes for organization.

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-Think they call it

-Events Management.

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-And this is my first event. "Molto

-eccitato" as Giusepps would say.

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-OK. I've made a list of what we need

-for this football tournament thing.

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-First, WAGs.

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-So, we've got Mam, Dandan...

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-Clive, d'you want me to be yours

-now you haven't got Ei...

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-Yep!

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-Can I have Vivs?

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-She'll be too busy with me

-on the cake stall, won't you?

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-How about Winnie, Dei?

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-Yeah, OK.

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-You can only borrow her

-'cos she's goin' out with Arthur.

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-OK. Next, hair.

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-It's important

-to get your image right.

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-I've printed out

-a few ideas for you.

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-I don't think I can grow

-a Joe Ledley beard in two weeks.

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-I've only got three hairs

-and they're on my ear.

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-Who's gonna ref?

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-Me! There's not a whistle

-on this island I haven't blown.

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-Kev,

-sure we can't persuade you to play?

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-I've heard you put the bend

-in bendigedig.

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-No.

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-I got nerve damage

-playing ice hockey.

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-I got a puck in my knee.

-It puck-in hurt as well!

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-I can help with the coaching

-if you want.

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-Injuries!

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-Mam, you're the team physio, OK?

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-Mam, you're the team physio, OK?

-

-Physio?!

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-Babes, hamstrings

-and cruciate ligaments...

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-..don't really feature in Bodlondeb.

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-Never mind, just wear your uniform.

-No-one'll notice.

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-So that's all the important stuff.

-Any other business?

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-Training?

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-OK, guys. Give me ten.

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-Come on! Two!

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-Come on, lads!

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-Go!

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-Come on, Dei.

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-Run! Run! Run!

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-Well done, Dei.

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-Well done. Well done.

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-Dyl, what are you doing?!

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-Run! Run! Run!

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-Fancy coming

-to a football tournament...

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-Keep going!

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-Ah!

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-Oh, jeepers!

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-Crikey, Beds, grow a pair!

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-I'm as stiff as a poker.

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-You wouldn't give my thigh

-a little rub, would you?

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-No, ta. You can provide yer own rub

-on your lap, wherever that is.

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-BEDWYR SIGHS

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-VIVIAN SINGS DOWNSTAIRS

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-Hey, listen to Vivs.

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-Aah.

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-That cake stall's

-put a real spring in her step.

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-Yes. She loves it.

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-I know she's chuffed

-we decided to stay in this house...

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-..and live with her,

-but, like, sometimes, I think...

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-Well, she really likes

-lookin' after us...

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-..and sometimes I think we don't

-let her do that enough.

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-D'you know?

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-I mean, we all want to feel wanted,

-know what I mean?

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-It's nice, innit, feeling wanted.

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-Especially a hottie like Vivs.

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-Who's still a hottie.

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-With wants.

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-Beds?

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-The wants.

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-Hey, guys!

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-Hey, guys!

-

-Jools!

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-The captain of the opposition

-will be here in a bit...

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-..so you can sort out who scores

-the goals and stuff, I guess...

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-I dunno.

-I'm just the events manager.

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-I'm off to the press conference now

-so good luck and break a leg.

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-OK, guys. Ready?

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-Sure thing, bro.

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-Sure thing, bro.

-

-What?

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-That's how they talk in Canada.

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-We've got the skills,

-we've got the pace...

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-..and above all,

-we've got spirit, soul, and...

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-Attitude!

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-Right on!

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-And I know, whatever happens

-on that field today...

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-..after all your hard work,

-nobody will embarrass themselves.

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-We're not here

-for anyone to laugh at us.

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-What the hell?

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-Yer kit's over there, Cled.

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-Yer kit's over there, Cled.

-

-No, I'm not wearing the kit.

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-This has brought me a lot of luck

-so I'll stick to what I'm wearing.

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-Absolutely. Absolutely.

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-Come on!

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-We have a coach all the way

-from Canada called Kev.

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-'Cake stall'

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-Ooh! The press conference

-is going well.

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-Kev said she'd asked for a quote

-from him for the Moelfre Freemag.

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-Nice one, Kev. Fair play.

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-You wouldn't find Chris Coleman

-managing a football team...

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-..and making 24 Cherry Bakewells

-while he's at it!

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-You're right.

-He's such a laugh, you know, Kev.

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-His piping is divine.

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-He's got such a way

-with buttercream.

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-Yeah. Vivs?

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-Um...

0:17:490:17:50

-You be careful now.

0:17:510:17:53

-You be careful now.

-

-What?

0:17:530:17:54

-I mean, I know Kev's lush -

-he's great.

0:17:540:17:56

-But if Beds thought for a minute

-that...

0:17:560:18:01

-OK, Anita?

0:18:010:18:02

-OK, Anita?

-

-Hiya, love.

0:18:020:18:03

-Wanna Viennese Finger?

0:18:030:18:05

-Hey, not a bad turnout considering

-it's a bunch of old codgers playing.

0:18:050:18:10

-Come and meet the Jackson Five.

0:18:110:18:13

-Decent?

0:18:150:18:16

-Yes!

0:18:160:18:17

-Yes!

-

-Oh, Look at you!

0:18:170:18:19

-You bunch of cock of the walks!

0:18:190:18:21

-Hey, keep that on tonight, Beds!

0:18:210:18:24

-Anyway, this is Owain,

-captain for the opposition.

0:18:260:18:29

-Alright, lads?

0:18:320:18:34

-Owain.

0:18:480:18:49

-Tudur.

0:18:500:18:51

-Owain Tudur Jones.

0:18:520:18:54

-Right. Heads or tails?

0:18:550:18:57

-Tails.

0:18:570:18:58

-Tails.

-

-Shush.

0:18:580:18:59

-Heads.

0:18:590:19:01

-Tails.

-But you can choose anyway, OK?

0:19:010:19:05

-Come on! Dei, concentrate!

0:19:330:19:36

-Come on, Bedwyr!

0:19:380:19:39

-Half-time.

0:19:500:19:51

-You're doing well.

0:19:530:19:54

-You're giving them too much space.

-Close them down quicker.

0:19:540:19:57

-The OwenIwanOwain team

-2-1 The Jackson Five.

0:19:580:20:03

-Come on 'en, Tinkerbell!

0:20:220:20:23

-Come on 'en, Tinkerbell!

-

-What did you say?

0:20:230:20:24

-Who's this? The Fairy Godmother?

0:20:250:20:27

-Right! Off!

0:20:350:20:36

-You - off.

0:20:360:20:37

-And you. Come on.

0:20:380:20:40

-Beds!

0:20:540:20:56

-Help!

0:20:570:20:58

-D'you want a rub?

0:20:580:21:00

-D'you want a rub?

-

-A rub's no good.

0:21:000:21:01

-I've pulled a muscle in my leg.

0:21:010:21:03

-Never! So who's the sub then?

0:21:040:21:06

-I don't know.

0:21:060:21:08

-Go on, Kev!

0:21:100:21:12

-Kev!

0:21:240:21:26

-OK!

0:22:120:22:13

-So, with your help

-and especially Owain Tudur Jones...

0:22:140:22:19

-..star of Sgorio

-and football and stuff...

0:22:190:22:23

-..we have raised...

0:22:230:22:25

-..four hundred and thirty-six pounds

-and fifty-seven pence!

0:22:250:22:29

-Which means the minibus...

0:22:330:22:35

-..can take the Bodlondeb gang

-to see Pum Diwrnod o Ryddid...

0:22:350:22:39

-..and the rest

-will go towards the hot-tub fund.

0:22:390:22:42

-So, in football terms, I guess you

-could say that I've had a result.

0:22:470:22:52

-In the first half, I had nil idea

-what I was gonna be...

0:22:520:22:56

-..but with my new Taid Ranieri

-genes, I'm going into management.

0:22:560:23:02

-Thanks, love.

0:23:020:23:03

-Hat-trick for Mam.

0:23:040:23:06

-One, the minibus is fixed.

0:23:060:23:08

-Two, Pum Diwrnod o Ryddid

-is booked...

0:23:080:23:11

-..plus, three,

-she's now a trained physio!

0:23:110:23:14

-Nasty, innit?

0:23:140:23:16

-Some were in a corner.

0:23:170:23:19

-Some defended, and attacked.

0:23:190:23:22

-Some just dribbled.

0:23:230:23:25

-But maybe the shock result of the

-day was the one-all draw over there.

0:23:270:23:32

-See? By the bar?

0:23:320:23:35

-Toy Boy Hotspur 1-1 Cougar United.

0:23:350:23:40

-S4C Subtitles by Testun Cyf.

0:24:060:24:08

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0:24:080:24:09

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