Episode 5 Broken

-I changed my plans, Michael. Worried you might intervene.

-How is she?

Not good. She won't tell you that, but she's not good.

I'm scared there's no Heaven. Death is just the end.

-And I'm scared of that end.

-So, how's the flashbacks going?

Flash-forwards, these days.

It's purgatory, people telling each other bitter truths.

You made me a self-loathing wreck!

And the phone rang.

Helen Oyenusi about Vernon.

I didn't pick up. A few hours later, he was dead.

They won't let me see him.

Some police officers in my parish have... They've killed a young man.

They're all colluding, protecting the officers responsible.

I'd like to bury my son.

This programme contains some strong language

# Broken windows in empty hallways

# A pale dead moon in a sky streaked with grey

# Human kindness is overflowing

# And I think it's gonna rain...

# Today. #

I'm going to sprinkle Roz's coffin with holy water now.

To remind us of her baptism.

Jesus said to her,

"I am the resurrection and the life.

"Whoever believes in me shall live, even in death.

"And whoever lives and believes in me shall never die."

Eternal rest grant unto her, oh, Lord.

And let perpetual light shine upon her.

May she rest in peace.

Amen.

May her soul and the souls of all the faithful departed,

through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

Amen.

WOMAN CRIES

-May I scrounge a lift from you?

-Yes.

She was never religious.

No?

No. HE LAUGHS

So how did you meet?

She came to see me.

To tell you what she decided to do?

I can't tell you that, Chloe.

Did she talk about us?

Oh, yes.

She said she loved you very much. You and the boys.

It didn't stop her, though, did it?

-Didn't her letter explain it all?

-No.

That was all about how much she loved us.

Do you think she wanted you to talk her out of it?

Perhaps.

Did you try?

Yes, I tried very hard.

I'm going to pay it all back.

-Oh... No-one expects that of you.

-I expect it of me.

It'll take me years, but I'm going to pay it all back.

Every penny.

Thanks very much. I appreciate it. Hiya.

Chloe says she's going to pay it all back.

Do you know how much?

Yeah, just over 230,000, I think she said.

Yeah.

The night she told me...

I couldn't sleep.

I was so angry.

And now if you pay me it back, I'd...burn it.

She lost it all on the machines?

Yeah.

Well, that helps.

I thought she robbed me because she could, but...

-she did it because she had to.

-Yeah. She did.

They're all in a pension scheme at work.

Lump sum on death.

And death in service pays double.

Oh, the irony, Father.

In life, she lost it all.

In death, she hit the jackpot.

-You don't need to reproach yourself about it.

-You want to bet?

No pun intended.

I told her I was phoning the police. That's what did it.

Look, she'd resolved to kill herself weeks before.

It was the shame that did it.

What you said, it...didn't make any difference.

I want to believe that so much.

It's the truth.

It's the truth.

Thank you.

Yeah, take care.

It's cold.

Right. We'll see if she's in.

You all right?

Hey, love...

I'm sorry to bother you.

-Are you a friend of Helen's?

-I'm her brother.

Oh, lovely to meet you.

I'm Carl. I live just across the road.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Have you come far?

Trinidad.

Well, I won't keep you.

Would you mind passing these on to Helen for me?

Tell her I've been meaning to call over for ages,

but I didn't like to intrude.

You can't get anything like these around here.

I had to go all the way into town to get them.

Gladioli.

Flamboyant rather than garish, I feel.

Boys, take your luggage and go and stand by the door.

-Why?

-Why?

Boys, luggage.

I hope she likes them.

You can leave them there with the rest.

-Well, I was hoping perhaps that you could...

-There is fine.

Maybe I'll just leave it for now, then.

Are you well, Michael?

Me? Yeah.

You seemed troubled...at mass.

Helen!

Oh!

SHE SCREAMS

They were sending him home.

He was "the least unwell", they said.

Michael said, "Least unwell isn't well,"

and they agreed...

..but they needed his bed for someone a lot worse than him.

So he came home.

And he got worse and worse.

He asked me to phone Michael,

and I did, but Michael was asleep in bed...

So I phoned the crisis team.

If I hadn't done that, he'd be alive today...

The crisis team came, but Vernon had the chain on the door

and he put the knife to his throat

and he said he'd kill himself before he let them in.

So they phoned the police.

Why they did that, I don't understand,

and the police came and...

Where was he shot?

There.

No.

Where in his body?

In his heart.

KNOCKING

I'll get it.

KNOCKING

KNOCKING

What's going on?

Just need a quick word about those boys of yours.

-Yes?

-One of them pushed the other against my door.

When I asked them to move, they shouted abuse at me.

-Abuse?

-Called me a queer, to be precise.

Now, look, I'm pushing 50,

I can do without this kind of crap on my own doorstep, yeah?

You approached my sons?

I asked them to move, yes.

Did you touch them?

Of course I didn't. What are you implying?

Don't go anywhere near my sons again, you hear me?

Well, it's no wonder they carry on like that, if that's your attitude.

What do you expect? They're children.

I expect an apology.

No.

For them to apologise, they'd have to talk to you,

and my children will have nothing to do with the likes of you.

-The likes of me?

-Yes.

What do you mean by that?

You know exactly what I mean.

I'm gay, is that what you're saying?

I don't really recognise that word.

I'm gay, therefore your boys can call me queer.

Fine, so next time I see you in the street I can call you nigger, yeah?

Bye.

What did you just say?

I said they call me queer, I call you...

Hey, Daniel! What the hell's going on?

Ask him.

Are you OK?

What was all that about?

What did you say to him?

Hey, are you all right?

You need to put something on that. Some frozen peas.

I don't need your advice, thank you very much.

Nothing to say for yourselves?

I mean, what the hell do you think you're playing at?

Get upstairs and get out of my sight.

I don't want to hear from you!

What's going on?

Nothing, Helen.

Come on, let's go inside.

Hello. Can we come in?

Yeah.

He's coming home?

Sorry?

Vernon. He's coming home?

Mrs Oyenusi, we're so sorry for your loss

and we offer our heartfelt condolences,

but we're not here about Vernon.

So why are you here?

Are you Mrs Oyenusi's brother?

Yes.

Could I take your name please, sir?

Daniel. Daniel Martin.

And how are you spelling that?

M-A-R-T-I-N. Why?

Mr Martin, we've received a complaint that you assaulted

a man just outside at roughly 2.15 this afternoon.

What are you talking about?

Is this a joke?

We wouldn't joke about something as serious as this.

Serious?

Sir, the man alleges it was a homophobic attack. A hate crime.

If found guilty of a hate crime, you will go to prison, sir.

Yes, sir. Very serious.

More serious than the killing of a black teenager by white police officers?

I see what you're doing here, officer.

You've killed a young man,

therefore discredit him and all his family, yeah?

Did you assault Carl McKenna, sir?

Carl!

He came here hurling racist abuse, but I did not assault him.

Carl wouldn't do that.

He says you witnessed it, Father. It is Father, is it?

Yeah, Michael will do.

What did you see, Michael?

I'll need some time to think about that.

-Time?

-Yeah.

It's a very simple thing, Michael. Just tell us what you saw.

-Simple?

-Yeah.

Lots of officers witnessed Vernon's death,

yet not one of them has said what they saw.

Why is that, if it's so simple?

How long will you need to think about it?

I don't know, a day or two.

KNOCKING

Hello again.

What do you want?

Frozen peas. Put them on the pain.

Wrap them in a cloth first or they'll stick to it.

You've had direct experience, have you?

Yeah.

Before I was a priest, I was a professional gobshite.

Quite a few people took a swing at me.

I'm Michael.

Carl. What can I do for you, Michael?

Can I come in?

It's not the Ritz.

Oh, I don't mind.

MUSIC PLAYS

Quentin Crisp says after the third year the dust doesn't get any worse.

I live in hope.

Oh, listen. Get out, you, will you?

Sorry. Have a seat, Father. Let me turn that off.

Ah, thanks.

Would you like a drink? A cup of tea, or anything...?

No, no, I'm fine. Thank you.

Brenda.

My mum.

Forgive me, Father, it's the only thing that stops

my poor little nerves from jangling since she passed.

I'm not ready to let go of her just yet, you know?

Yeah, some people never scatter the ashes.

Others find it helps them let go.

I smoked some.

Sorry?

When they first came back, I sprinkled a tiny bit into a spliff.

I was beside myself,

I hoped it would make her a part of me forever, you know?

But I've since read very little of the body remains,

so the only thing I got inside me was oak veneer.

It'll be three months on Thursday.

The dreaded C word.

I never knew it was possible to miss someone so much.

I'm 49 years of age, I've never left home.

We did everything together.

What do you want?

I want to talk to you about this afternoon.

Why?

Well, I want to hear your side of the story.

I have to go to the shops.

I'll tell it to you on the way, OK?

I love it here. I cut through most days.

Just look at that stonework.

It's sublime, isn't it?

Catacomb!

Catacomb.

Did you ever hear such a terrifying word in your entire life?

Catacomb.

I first saw him getting out of a cab outside Helen's.

I approached him and I asked him to pass on some flowers to her,

but he refused.

He didn't give an explanation.

He didn't have to.

Homophobia can be very subtle like that, you know? You just know.

Yeah.

Then a few hours later, his boys were messing about outside my door

and one of them pushed the other against it, so I went out

and I asked them, politely, to move further down the street.

They called me a queer and ran off, laughing.

So I knocked at Helen's, and I told him what happened.

Now, instead of reprimanding them, he warned me

never to approach his children again, like I'm some kind of a...

-Yeah.

-You know.

When I realised there was no apology forthcoming, I couldn't help myself.

I turned around to him and I told him, I said, yeah,

maybe when I see you walking down the street I might feel compelled

-to call you by a certain name and see how you like it.

-Yeah.

It was at that point that you entered stage left

for the dramatic finale.

Look, there's never any justification for violence,

but that family, they've already suffered so much.

You don't have to tell me, Father.

What those bastards - excuse my French - did to poor Vernon.

That was unforgivable.

He was a good lad. He always gave me the time of day.

Look, I'm not trying to make excuses for him,

but he'd just arrived on a very long flight

from a totally different culture,

he was jet-lagged, grieving...

I'm grieving, I don't go round punching innocent people in the face.

Entrez.

What are you doing?

Sorry, Father, but I'm gaggin'. My nerves...

I don't really think you should be...doing that here.

What else do you think phone boxes are for these days?

Oh, someone's been on the beak here.

Cocaine.

So what made you become a priest?

Oh, please tell me it was sunbeams through the window,

bathing you in iridescent light, and the sound of heavenly choirs...

If only it had been that obvious.

Don't mind me, I watch too many films.

Are you celibate?

Yes.

I am, too - not by choice, I can tell you.

Are you allowed to have a wank?

HE LAUGHS

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked.

I've often wondered but I've never had the chance to ask until now.

Let's face it, it's not every day you find yourself skinning up

with a Catholic priest in a public phone box now, is it?

The church teaches that any sexual activity outside marriage is wrong.

I'll take that as a yes, then, shall I?

Mind the cat now.

The cat never took a liking to me.

The only reason I look after the bastard is for Brenda.

Thanks very much, I enjoyed that.

Yeah.

Do you sleep down here?

Hmm?

I said, do you sleep down here?

I don't really like going upstairs since Brenda passed.

Besides, it's freezing up there and I've got no gas.

How do you mean?

They've got me on one of these pre-paid meter things, you know.

But it's not worth putting anything on it.

Why not?

Cos I owe them a fortune,

so if I put a tenner on the key they take most of it back straight away

and then shit's run out again before you know it...

But it's been perishing.

You wouldn't believe the heat that little beauty gives out.

So how... How do you do your cooking?

I don't.

Well, look, I can't do anything about your gas,

but I can arrange vouchers for the food bank

if you ever felt you needed...

What?

You think I don't know what this is really about?

You want me to forget everything, don't you?

Yeah.

Helen's going through hell right now.

-I know.

-This is the last thing she needs.

-I know.

He's come over to ease her grief, but he's adding to it.

I know. I'm more than happy to forget everything, Michael.

Well, thank you, Carl, thank you. I appreciate that.

The moment he comes over here and shakes my hand, it's all forgotten.

All right, thanks.

Shake his hand?

Father, I'm disappointed you would even suggest such a thing.

I just think for the sake of...

Have you forgotten what he called me?

Daniel, would it be so hard to swallow your pride just this once?

Helen, this isn't about pride, this is about what is right.

I'm sure if you actually spoke to Carl

you'd be able to find some common ground.

He's grieving too. He only lost his mother a few months back.

Are you seriously comparing his grief to what we are going through?

No! No, of course not, I'm just saying...

-Father, my sister has lost her only son...

-Yes.

..I have lost my nephew

and the only thing we care about right now is bringing Vernon home.

Everything else is totally irrelevant,

so as far as I am concerned, that man can go to hell.

-Oh!

-He's got a strike!

Is he going to snatch victory out of the jaws of defeat?

-It helps to go halfway down the alley, doesn't it?

-Bollocks!

Any closer, you could have pushed 'em over.

-Hey! My foot was behind that line.

-Were it shite.

-It were!

What do we do if it's a foul throw?

-Were it a foul?

-Yes!

-No, it was not. It was not.

-He's cheated.

He has to feel sorry for his opponents,

up against a man at the peak of his power.

We'll never hear the last of this, now.

There's people on the pitch.

We're watching your feet.

Yeah. They think it's all over...

Over that line, it's a foul.

-Oh, it's bang-on.

-Oh, no!

-It is now!

-Bloody hell!

Bloody hellfire!

I can't believe it!

Can you believe that?

Behold the Lamb of God,

behold him who takes away the sins of the world.

Blessed are those called to the supper of the lamb.

-BOTH:

-Lord, I am not worthy

that you should enter under my roof,

but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.

The body of Christ.

The blood of Christ.

Amen.

Oh, Mam.

Oh, Mam!

KNOCKING

Open that door! I know you're in there!

Come on, open the door,

I can't be standing on this doorstep all day and night!

Come on! Open up! I want my money.

I saw him go in there!

Come on!

Oh, hello.

Do you want to come through?

You're not used to this?

It's how it is these days.

I could turn the chair around, face that way.

We could go elsewhere, somewhere traditional.

Please.

Right. Follow me.

You go in there. I go in here.

Is that better?

Yes, thank you.

I confess to Almighty God, to Blessed Mary Ever Virgin,

to Blessed Michael the Archangel,

to the Holy Apostles Peter and Paul,

to all the Saints and to you, my Father,

that I have sinned exceedingly in thought, word and deed.

Through my fault. Through my fault.

Through my most grievous fault.

Father?

May God help you to confess your sins with true sorrow.

I have examined my conscience, Father,

and punching that man is not on it.

I did it in righteous anger,

the same anger that made Christ drive the money-men from the temple.

When a white man calls a black man a nigger, he must be punished.

He only used that word because your boys had called him queer

and you refused to do anything about it.

Those words are nowhere near equivalent.

You can hide your sexuality, I can't hide this.

You really believe Carl McKenna could hide the kind of man he is?

Yes, but he chooses not to.

In fact, he goes further. He advertises it.

And, in doing that, he is a danger to my sons, to all our sons.

-Why?

-Because homosexual boys get bullied, Father.

As do heterosexual.

Much more homosexual than heterosexual.

Their lives are made a misery.

Yes, in which case, we should all try to be more tolerant.

Teenage boys are not tolerant, Father. They're vicious.

They turn on you if you stammer,

if you limp, if you lisp.

But show them you're homosexual and they turn on you quickest of all.

You call them gay in this country.

They're not gay.

They're sad. So, so sad.

And I will make sure that my boys know that.

Better to live a lie than reveal a truth like that.

-You say your anger is righteous?

-Yes.

-In the eyes of God, I assume.

-Yes.

But not in the eyes of the law.

In the eyes of the law, you have committed a serious crime

-and you will go to prison for it.

-Yes.

-Unless...

-Yes?

..you apologise. Shake hands.

That would be utterly insincere.

Nevertheless.

You can resolve this, Father.

How?

You did not see me strike that man.

You want me to lie to the police?

Have they not lied to us?

To expose myself to Carl McKenna as a liar, and then say Mass,

give out the holy sacrament? You're asking me to do that?

It's no worse than what you're asking of me.

To say I'm sorry when I am not.

To go against my faith, my Catholicism. And for what?

Fear of imprisonment?

That is cowardice.

That is hypocrisy. I will not do it.

And I am disgusted that a Catholic priest should ask me to.

'SMOKE ALARM'

SCRAPING, ALARM CONTINUES

I'm not doing it.

"I am not your skivvy," Mum said.

KNOCKING

Father Kerrigan?

KNOCKING

Are you in there, sir?

PHONE RINGS

What's he doing to you?

Hello.

Hi, Andrew. It's Michael Kerrigan. I need some advice.

-Right.

-There's two coppers outside.

-'Yeah, I know.'

-You know?

-Yeah.

-Have they come to take me in to make a statement?

-Yeah.

-Have I got to make that statement?

-Well, no...

No, you don't have to.

If I make that statement and Daniel's found guilty, what will he get?

I'd say four to six years.

'It's a hate crime, you see. But you know that when he's done it,'

Michael, he'll be thrown out the country, won't be allowed back in.

'Which means he'll never see Helen again.

'It's horrible, isn't it?

'Seeing other people suffer for your principles?'

I know that I couldn't do it.

-Thanks.

-'You're welcome.'

BARKING

KNOCKING

Look Carl, you've got to remember that in his country

it's still illegal to be gay.

You can make all the excuses you want,

this has nothing to do with the colour of his skin or what country he's from.

This is about religion and nothing else.

Now, every morning I look out of my window and I see

tiny, little kids heading off to that school of yours,

and guess what? Yeah, they'll also be taught that being gay is a sin.

That it's perfectly acceptable to treat people like me with contempt.

It's a cycle of hatred perpetuated by your church

and I'll tell you what. As far as I'm concerned,

the world will be a better place when Catholicism and every other

goddamn religion has been consigned to history.

My church teaches compassion for all human beings

regardless of religion, race, sexuality.

And it also teaches that I'm a sinner,

which is something that you go along with, Michael,

cos if you didn't, yeah, you'd be on the dole.

Look, I'm not asking you to do this for me, or for him.

I'm asking you to do it for Helen. She's suffered enough, Carl.

And if you had any idea how much I'd suffered,

you wouldn't dream of putting me in this position.

Now, the police told me that if anyone tries to intimidate me

or put pressure on me to drop the charges,

that I am to report them immediately.

I'm not trying to put pressure on you.

Have you made your statement yet?

Have you?

And you make out that you're impartial? Just go, Father.

I think we both know whose side you're really on.

Believe me, Carl, I'm on no-one's side.

I'm like the man with a chip on both shoulders.

I'm just as screwed up about straight sex as I am gay.

I will make a statement, yeah, and I'll tell the absolute truth,

but right now, there's nothing I'd like more than to get

the four of us together in a room,

because I'm sick of this Ban Ki-Moon act.

Oh, please tell me you're joking.

Look! If not for me, then for Helen.

This is to remind us of the presence of Christ

and to enable us to speak truth with compassion.

All I've ever wanted is to set a good example to my sons

and protect them from the evils of this world,

and in here,

I know that homosexuality is one of them.

And not because I'm homophobic

or repulsed by what two men choose to do together,

but in the Bible, it clearly states

that homosexuals will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

I was raised a Catholic too.

I loved it, believed it with all my heart.

But I also knew that I was different.

I even wondered if God was calling me to be a priest.

But I soon realised, no, I was just gay.

I prayed and prayed for God to make it stop,

to make me normal,

but He didn't listen.

Now, I'd been brought up to believe that being gay was a sin,

that God hated gay people,

so why would I choose such a thing, hmm?

Why would I choose such a thing when I knew it meant

that the church that I loved would no longer welcome me?

Choose?

Don't make me laugh.

This will hurt you both,

but in these circumstances, I cannot lie.

Daniel, you have always been holier than thou.

Carl, you have always been one to light the blue touchpaper

and then run away.

And now you have met.

And it is a match made in hell.

Two stupid, stubborn men refusing to back down,

locking horns, totally forgetting the only thing that should matter -

bringing Vernon home.

Yeah, the world is full of gay men

who can hide their sexuality, live a lie,

but do you seriously believe that that was ever an option for me?

The way I am, the way I speak, it's not some affectation.

It's not some show, it's not trying to shock or intimidate anyone.

It's just the way I was born

and I make no apology for that.

At least not any more, I don't.

And if you believe in God, then you also have to believe

that it was your God who created me this way.

You were in pain, Carl, angry.

Just waiting for someone to come along for you to lash out,

and you want to know how I know that?

Because I feel exactly the same.

I feel just as angry as you.

I know what it feels like when the person you love most of all

in this world is taken from you.

When your only reason to wake up in the morning is no longer there.

I wasn't even going to report it.

I didn't think they'd take it seriously,

but credit where credit is due,

I was amazed how supportive they were.

When I was growing up back in the '80s,

gay-bashing was virtually the national sport,

and most people in this country were gold medallists.

But now finally things are starting to change.

And hallelujah for that, because the only way to stamp out

this kind of hatred is to come down heavy on those who perpetrate it.

A sinner needs a priest, yes,

but first let him be contrite,

ashamed, penitent.

This man is none of those things.

His mincing, his voice,

his innuendos all announce that he is ready to sin again,

that he is proud of it, boastful of it.

This is a sin that my church has utterly condemned,

so how can a priest find it so amusing?

I didn't intend to speak but I suppose I should answer that, yeah?

-Yes.

-I am not amused by it,

I'm amused by him.

-Really?

-Yeah.

I suppose we were all teenagers once.

-Yeah.

-Confused at times about our sexuality.

Yeah.

So how did you feel, Father,

when you thought you might be a homosexual?

The candle is still burning, Christ is still here,

encouraging us to speak truth.

How did you feel, when you thought you might be a homosexual?

It was the 1970s...

How did you feel?

Erm, suicidal.

Thank you.

Enough of this small talk.

Thank you, Father.

Bye, Michael.

MUSIC: Sisters Are Doin' It for Themselves by Eurythmics

# Now there was a time

# When they used to say

# That behind every great man

# There had to be a great woman

# But in these times of change

# You know that it's no longer true

# So we're comin' out of the kitchen

# Cos there's somethin' we forgot to say to you

# Sisters are doing it for themselves

# Standing on their... #

# We are the champions, my friends

# And we'll keep on fighting till the end

# We are the champions

# We are the champions

# No time for losers

# Cos we are the champions

# Of the world! #

CHEERING

KNOCKING

Thanks again.

He punched a man and I saw it.

I'll have to say I saw it.

He'll go down for it and he'll see himself as some kind

of Catholic martyr when he does.

-No other way?

-No.

Thanks. Carl won't back down and why should he?

Daniel won't either.

I know what I should say - "Daniel, thanks to Catholic teaching,

"you're a totally fucked-up human being,

"but that's OK cos so was I.

"Ignore everything the church says on the subject of sex, Daniel.

"I do that. Every priest I know does that.

"You can quote scripture till you're blue in the face,

"papal pronouncements, edicts, whatever, they are all utter shite."

Or words to that effect.

Didn't you want sugar?

Yeah.

Good job I didn't take up smoking.

-I'm sorry to bring this one on you as well.

-You're OK.

I can cope usually, honest.

You're fine, man.

It's a bit like buses, isn't it?

You wait all your life for a decent dilemma to come along

and then three arrive at the one time.

What can I do?

Well, we could pray to the Lord.

He usually comes up with something.

Not this time, Peter.

Irresistible force meets immovable object.

I need a miracle.

Hello.

Yes?

Vernon can come home!

# Lord of all hopefulness

# Lord of all joy

# Whose trust, ever childlike

# No cares can destroy... #

Father?

It's Vernon, Father.

Vernon.

# Your bliss in our hearts, Lord

# At the break of the day

# Lord of all eagerness

# Lord of all faith

# Whose strong hands were skilled at

# The plane and the lathe

# Be there at our labours... #

Thank you, Helen.

Please.

I'll be five minutes.

Oh.

Would you like to come through, please?

# Your hands swift to welcome

# Your arms to embrace

# Be there at our homing

# And give us, we pray

# Your love in our hearts, Lord

# At the eve of the day... #

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou amongst women

and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

-ALL:

-Holy Mary, mother of God,

pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou amongst women

and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

-ALL:

-Holy Mary, mother of God,

pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

# Lord of all kindliness

# Lord of all grace

# Your hands swift to welcome

# Your arms to embrace

# Be there at our homing

# And give us, we pray

# Your love in our hearts, Lord

# At the eve of the day

# Lord of all gentleness

# Lord of all calm

# Whose voice is contentment

# Whose presence is balm

# Be there at our sleeping

# And give us, we pray

# Your peace in our hearts, Lord

# At the end of the day. #

Barcelona?

Yes.

Why Barcelona?

We used to watch them together.

He liked Messi.

Something Messi.

Lionel Messi.

Yes. I know you like Messi, Vernon. I've seen your room.

If there's a shred of comfort I can take from this,

it's that deep down I'm glad God took him before me.

Why?

The number of sleepless nights I've had worried about

what would become of him if anything ever happened to me.

He was such a kind and loving boy,

but when he was having one of his episodes, he was so...

..difficult.

I knew no matter how hard I prayed,

the chances of him ever leading a normal life were slim.

I worried about him growing old,

the thought of him ending up in some institution,

with nobody in the world to love him.

Brenda understood how I felt.

Carl's mother.

We both had sons who were troubled in their own ways.

That's why we felt such affinity.

Yes?

This is unfair.

What is unfair?

I cannot argue with you.

I cannot contradict you in these circumstances.

Why not?

You have done nothing BUT contradict me since the moment you arrived

so why stop now?

Because he home?

Is he more dead now than he was before,

more dead now that you can see him?

Her son and mine both had difficulties growing up,

were both picked on because they were different

and we bonded because of it,

because they were so alike!

When Brenda was diagnosed, she came to me

worried about what would become of Carl.

I promised her that I would always keep an eye out for her

and I intend to keep that promise.

She was a good mother who never once tried to change him,

but accepted him for who he was and I so admired her for that.

Her love was unconditional and that's exactly how it should be.

Daniel...

I wouldn't care if my son was straight,

gay or anything else,

just so long as I can see that beautiful smile once more.

KNOCKING

I'll get that.

Can I speak to Helen, please?

Yeah, come in.

Look, It's fine. Honest.

I knew you'd have him in that shirt.

I'm stopping all this right now.

I'm telling them whatever I need to tell them to get it all to stop.

Thank you.

I'm not doing it for him.

I'm doing it for you.

And for Vernon.

Brenda would be so proud of you.

Yeah.

Praise the Lord.

KNOCKING

There's more Christianity in your little finger

than in that man's entire body.

Yeah, why don't you tell that to your bishop?

Tell it to your pope. Shout it from the rooftops, why don't you?

There's no use coming around here and whispering it to me,

you bloody hypocrite.

# Tell me what it's like in heaven

# I hope it's kinder than it is down here

# With all the trials and tribulations

# All the worry and living in fear

# We are lost, we are scattered

# We're balmy and we're battered

# We might be bruised but we're not broken

# Hallelujah

# Hallelujah... #