Episode 3 By Any Means

WOMAN CHUCKLES

-ON TV:

-Look, I don't want to make this a big deal...

You all ready for your big day tomorrow?

It's only a trial.

Right. So, you won't be needing these then?

This farce has gone on quite long enough.

I need those bloody people out and I mean now!

Listen to me. Have you any idea

how much it's going to cost to have the contractors stand down again?

If we go to another appeal, we're screwed.

I have investors, for Christ's sake!

No!

I'll deal with it.

GLASS SHATTERS, FIRE ROARS

SHOUTING IN THE DISTANCE, SCREAMS

FIRE ROARS

SIREN WAILS

CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS

HE SWITCHS MUSIC OFF

MOBILE PHONE BEEPS

-ON RADIO:

-'..reports of a large fire in a tower block in East London.

'Emergency services are on the scene...'

PHONE RINGS

'..causing severe traffic delays...'

-PHONE RINGS

-Hello.

A warrant? What for?

TYRES SCREECH TO A HALT

Um...

TWO SEPARATE PHONES RING

LIFT BELL DINGS

PHONE RINGS

STOP!

Oi! Police! Stop!

Granger, stop!

Get out of the way!

Move!

I'm Phillip Granger, get me Luis Velasquez now! Get him now!

Phillip Granger,

-I'm arresting you on suspicion of conspiracy to commit murder.

-Luis!

-Phillip!

-You do not have to say anything...

-Luis! I am claiming political asylum.

..but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned

-something which you later rely on in court.

-Luis!

This man is now under the protection of the Colombian government.

I am the Colombian ambassador and you are now on Colombian soil.

So, unless you want to spark a major diplomatic incident

between our respective governments,

I suggest you remove those handcuffs and leave. Immediately.

Thank you.

Go on.

Turned out nice again.

No time for sunbathing. You're going to have your work cut out.

Phillip Granger - Eton and Oxford educated,

property tycoon, extremely well connected.

Recently, he was appointed as a government housing adviser.

He's been very vocal on his vision for quality,

affordable housing for all.

But away from the glare of the cameras,

it appears he adopts a more elitist approach.

He bought this place on the cheap

to make way for one of his luxury developments.

Served eviction notices on all of the tenants.

They wouldn't budge and lodged a series of appeals.

What, so he did this?

-18 people died.

-And how sure are you that he was behind it?

No doubt. We've got full confessions from all those involved.

It didn't take the police long to pull everyone in.

They established a trail

that led all the way to the kid who started the blaze.

That trail leads all the way up to Granger.

So, why hasn't he been arrested?

Political asylum?

Old boys' network - he and the ambassador went to school together.

Oh, pass me the sick bag.

It's a government thing though, isn't it?

Diplomatic channels, our man in Colombia, all that jazz.

-Well, they're backing their ambassador.

-And our lot are just accepting that, are they?

-They don't have any choice.

-If we go in there all guns blazing, that opens up every

British Embassy around the world to the same treatment.

-So, the police can't touch him?

-No-one can.

As long as he's inside that embassy building, he's on foreign soil, no-one can go near him.

Officially.

First things first, we need to know what's going on in there.

We need surveillance - eyes and ears inside the embassy.

On it.

TomTom, find out what's on either side of the embassy building,

and if there's any way we can gain access.

OK, so, looking at the buildings around the embassy,

we have the Iranian Embassy behind.

Hmm, not sure how co-operative they'll be.

There's a bank to the right.

Here we go, there's a residential address next door to the left.

-And it's registered to a Mrs Celia Butler.

-DOOR BELL RINGS

-Mrs Butler?

-Yes.

-Jack Reed, Environmental Health.

-Oh?

We've had reports of rats in the adjoining buildings

-and we're trying to find the source.

-Ooh, I hate rats. Dirty creatures.

The thing is we need to check your property.

I have an old rifle up in the attic, I'd be happy to help.

Well, actually we tend to use more humane methods these days.

Political correctness gone mad - spoils all the fun.

-Shoot the little buggers, I say.

-I couldn't agree more.

If it was up to me, I'd shoot the lot of them

but this one's a stickler for procedure.

-One of those?

-HE MOUTHS

Thought so.

Right, well, I'll put the kettle on. Where do you want to start?

Uh, well, we think they might be in the cavity walls.

So, what's upstairs on this side of the house?

-Spare room.

-Good, we'll start there.

So, the ambassador's office should be directly behind that wall.

Oh!?

Nice one, genius.

Yeah, my bad.

-Looks like it's going to be next door.

-Next door.

-Sorry.

-Wrong room.

-What!

Earl Grey or builder's tea?

Oh, builder's, please, strong as you like.

Dope, right? The boy's on fire.

-There's Granger.

-That looks like the ambassador.

-Hola!

-Who's the girl?

That must be Vanessa Velasquez. She's the ambassador's daughter.

-I'm calling shotgun.

-No, you can't call shotgun on a girl.

I saw her first.

Hello? Shall I bring your tea in? >

Just a minute, Mrs Butler.

What the... Where did you get that?

I have my sources.

That's just weird.

Infested, I'm afraid. We're going to have to fumigate.

We've got a direct feed into the ambassador's study,

but I've hacked into the CCTV DVR

so we can pretty much see anything they can.

I understand, but there are extenuating circumstances.

Yes, Mr President, I take full responsibility for the situation.

Thank you, sir.

Luis, I'm not causing you any trouble, am I?

-Whatever gave you that idea?

-I'll only be here a few days.

Well, I think it's great you're here, Uncle Phillip.

You see, someone's pleased to see me.

The British Government is asking that you surrender yourself.

You can't stay here indefinitely.

Luis, this is all going to blow over.

I've had friends in very high places.

You know what it's like, it's just wheels within wheels.

And seeing as you're here, you can stay for the party.

Ooh, hello, what party?

It looks like every year, they invite the great and the good

for an informal lunch to mark the President's birthday.

Lucky for us, it happens to be this week.

Now, the guest list is pretty exclusive,

but it might be our best chance to get inside.

OK. So, we get inside, then what?

There's only two ways we're going to Granger out of there -

either he leaves of his own accord or we drag him out.

Hmm, past all that security.

Well, this lunch sounds like a pretty big deal, so there will be

outside contractors, things we can use as a distraction.

Deliveries going in and out.

Flowers, extra food, wine merchants.

Maybe we could get him into one of those vans.

We'll need all these details.

TomTom will get what he can on surveillance.

-What we really need is someone on the inside.

-Hmm.

Yeah? How are we going to do that?

Target in sight. Moving in.

Where are you going?! Ow!

-Where are you going?! Give her back!

-Stop kicking me!

Give her back!

Help! Somebody!

Somebody help!

She's a tough one. Right, your turn.

Coming your way in three, two, one!

Getting beaten up by a girl. Loving your work.

Try and make this look convincing. All right? Yeah?

Yeah. Good enough?

Oh, thank you! Are you OK?

Yeah, sorry, lucky punch, he got away. There you go.

Oh, I got my Lucy back, that's all that matters.

Oh, my God, your lip, you're bleeding.

Really? No, it's fine.

Really.

-So, uh, must have been pretty scary? Are you all right?

-I'm fine.

You do look a bit shaken up, though. I mean, anything I can do?

Can I, uh, walk you home? I can walk you home.

There's really no need.

No, please, I insist. It's in the superhero's job description.

I have to make sure that the damsel in distress gets home safely.

Please. If you wouldn't mind?

-This way.

-OK.

-TomTom, how are we doing?

-Cupid has landed.

Good.

Jess has done her bit, so it's up to you to get Charlie into the embassy.

On it.

-I'll meet you back at Celia's when you're done.

-Right, soon as.

So, I jacked in my job and just went travelling around South America.

I never made it as far as Colombia.

But, uh, I did trek Macchu Picchu, so...

No! That is my favourite place on earth.

-Really?

-That's so amazing. I can't believe you've been there, too.

Ah, the power of social networks and very predictable passwords.

It's so peaceful there, like nothing in the world can touch you.

You know, you're on top of the world

and you could just hold out your arms and fly.

Did you feel that?

Did you feel it, Charlie? 'Spiritual, yeah?'

Yeah. Yeah, I, uh, thought it was just me.

I loved it.

I used to just sit there for hours and read poetry.

OK, this is getting really weird.

-You like poetry, too?

-Love it, absolutely love it.

Who is your favourite poet?

Yeah, Charlie, who is your favourite poet?

My favourite poet?

-Mm-hm.

-Oh, wow, uh, that's a...

-'Yes?'

-..that's a tough one.

Yeah, but she's still waiting for an answer.

You see, this is why Jack should have sent me instead of you.

Uh, so many to choose from, you know, so many poets.

-WHISPERS: TomTom?!

-No? Drawing a blank?

-T.S. Eliot.

-T.S. Eliot.

-Really?

-Yeah. Why do you... Do you like him too?

He's the best!

Well, this is me.

Wow. Uh, you live here?

-Yes. My father is the ambassador.

-Oh, right.

Does that bother you?

It's just a different world to what I'm used to, that's all.

And what kind of world are you used to?

Dirty kitchens, mostly.

I'm a sous chef. Well, no, actually scratch that.

I'm, I'm an unemployed, well, I'm a broke, unemployed sous chef.

-Well, then, today might just be your lucky day.

-Why?

We need someone in the kitchen, one of our chefs has food poisoning.

Not a great advertisement for his cooking but...

It was a local restaurant.

RETCHING

I could ask, if you're interested?

But you don't know anything about him.

You're embarrassing me!

HE SIGHS

We'll need references.

-When can you start?

-KNOCK AT THE DOOR

Come.

I can come back later.

No, no, we have a meeting. Security for the President's lunch.

Yes, sir.

Oh, and I'll need you to do a security check on Mr Rollins here.

He'll be working in our kitchens.

Yes, sir.

Nice to meet you.

Thanks.

He's a bit scary, isn't he? Who is he?

Head of embassy security and very boring.

Come on, I'll show you the kitchens.

Hello, would you like some more tea?

Celia, sorry, you can't go in there.

I thought the weird one might like a cup of tea.

Oh, I'll take it in. It's too dangerous.

-Fumes?

-Yeah, exactly.

Charlie's in.

Great.

-That for me?

-No.

The guy on the left could be a problem.

-See what you can find out about him.

-OK. Right.

-Uh, can I ask you a question?

-Yeah?

Why does Charlie get to seduce a girl and not me?

What, just cos he's got the square jaw and possibly got a six pack -

that makes him instant candidate for Lothario duty, does it?

-Kind of, yeah.

-Never heard of Geek chic?

-Well, I'll bear that in mind next time.

-Yes. Very good.

Right, I should get back to base,

set up his profile before they do security checks.

OK, it's probably time we got out of here anyway, the old girl's getting a bit nosey.

-Jack, I was going to say...

-Hang on a second, what's this?

-What were you expecting? A knighthood?

-It's my reputation!

How the hell can I make this damn thing go away if the bloody press are saying I'm already guilty?

You made yourself a target as soon as you came in here.

So you'd rather I just let them arrest me, would you? Would you!?

'Your Government is trying to swing public opinion against you,

-'this is all getting very messy!'

-They might be old school friends,

but it doesn't look like the Ambassador wants him there any more than we do.

Yes, well, two can play at that game.

Phillip.

-Michael. Yes...

-Phillip!

He's clearly got one hell of an ego, could be useful.

Sorry, you were going to say something?

Oh...doesn't matter.

Right, we good to go then?

Yeah. I can set up a remote feed for all this stuff.

We're all done, so we'll leave you in peace.

Rats all gone, have they?

-Absolutely.

-I hope you get your man.

I worked with the codebreakers at Bletchley during the war.

And if you're a rat catcher, I'm Mata Hari.

This all to do with that little bugger holed up next door?

Well, I couldn't possibly say.

-Of course not.

-Sorry...

What? For deceiving me?

For drilling lots of bloody little holes in my wall?

I haven't had so much fun in years.

Give the little blighter a kick or two from me, will you?

-When you get him.

-Will do. Goodbye, Mrs Butler.

Goodbye, Jack.

Charlie boy!

References.

You know, er, you didn't have to hit me quite so hard.

Make it realistic, that's what you said.

Hey, you can swap, if you want.

You can sit here all day tapping away at a keyboard

and I'll go and seduce the fit South American girl.

-Fair point.

-Yeah.

This is your identity, so try and remember it.

Oh, nice(!) What are we going to do without you, eh?

You're going to find out soon. Crash and burn, that's my guess.

Has Jack still not said anything about what happens

when your community service finishes?

No. I was going to talk to him, but he's kinda got a lot on his hands.

How many hours have you got left?

14...and counting.

Then I'm a free man.

Well, you should ask him if you can stay.

Are you kidding? Like I want to work with you guys!

All right, let's go over this one more time.

So, we've got Charlie in the embassy, TomTom's in their CCTV

and we've got a camera in the ambassador's study.

Pretty good start.

The plan is to use the president's lunch as cover. Once we're in,

we grab Phillip Granger and drag him out

and into a catering truck.

Sounds easy when you say it quickly.

TomTom, security.

Security is headed up by a David Ortega.

I've looked into him. Ex-Colombian Special Forces.

Very dangerous dude.

David Ortega.

I met him.

Any psychological profiling on him?

Yeah. He's a big bastard with a gun.

-Enlightening.

-Anything else?

Yeah, he's got a team of 12 embassy guards.

And they are all armed.

One thing to remember, we're going to be on foreign soil, so, if we get caught

there's no back up, we're on our own.

Now, there's a guard on every exit at all times.

And judging by the surveillance, they do a full sweep of the building on the hour, every hour.

Added to that, there's panic buttons on all floors.

CCTV in all the corridors,

all the rooms, apart from the private living quarters.

Place is like Fort Knox.

What about the outside?

There's vehicle access at the side of the building.

That's where they get their deliveries.

And all vehicles are checked coming in and going out,

except the ambassador's car.

But there's going to be loads more traffic through the gate on the day of the party.

So hiding him in a catering truck is still our best bet.

Getting Granger from the party can be relatively straightforward.

If the guards ain't doing their sweep, I can disable the CCTV.

Getting him from the lifts down to the kitchen, that's doable.

You might even get him to the truck. But getting him out? It's a whole different ball game.

I'll think of something. How are we getting on with the invites?

We're still trying to locate the guest list.

Yeah, it's not on any of the embassy databases.

-Guys, come on, the clock is ticking.

-We'll find it.

We'd better had, or we won't even get past the front door.

You ready?

Right, come on, let's do this.

Honestly, Miles, it's so stupid.

No...

It turns out none of the smoke alarms actually worked.

Well, it's not that difficult to change a battery, is it?

Even for the great unwashed.

No, you know what the press are like, they're just looking for a scapegoat.

Well, I haven't got where I am today by being a soft touch!

Goodbye.

-Here you are.

-Cheers, mate.

-Charlie's got his security pass, he's in.

-Great.

You still don't know how to get the truck out, do you?

We'll only get one shot at this, if we screw up, it's over.

TomTom's right - the plan is still not watertight.

Can't let the arrogant piece of shit get away with it though, can we?

I grew up on an estate like the one he torched.

Landlords like him making a killing while their tenants

live in squalor and everyone's too scared to complain.

Except for my mum.

She told the landlord EXACTLY what she thought of him.

I was so proud of her.

Phillip Granger.

He uses normal, hard-working people as cannon fodder to help him get what he wants.

You don't have to tell me, kid. There's loads of them out there,

scratching each other's backs, greasing the wheels,

looking the other way, playing the system.

It's the old boy's network - look after their own.

-Yeah, well...we look after our own, too, right?

-Yes, we do.

Jack, I read every police report on everyone who died in that fire.

There was a kid, he had trials for West Ham the next day.

His whole life, just starting to take shape.

Granger needs to know what he's done. He needs to pay for it.

He will.

Hey!

-What's wrong?

-No, nothing, nothing. Um...

should you really be down here, now?

Oh, right. Well, um, that's easily resolved.

I would like dinner served in my room, please, Chef.

Oh, and I would like my favourite, please.

Bouillabaisse.

What the hell is a bouillabaisse?

Um...

A bouillabaisse is a type of French toilet.

TomTom!

Relax, Heston.

A bouillabaisse is a type of French fish stew.

Widely regarded as one of the most technically difficult dishes to make,

-says "taking hours in preparation" here.

-Hmm, fantastic.

Sure you'll manage.

Oh, whilst you're getting cosy with Vanessa, try and find out

some info about the guest list. We're still drawing a blank.

All right, I'll do my best.

Oh, yeah!

What is this?

It's baked beans on toast.

And what happened to the bouillabaisse?

Look, any idiot can make a bouillabaisse,

but it takes too long.

All that fish and stuff.

And the whole French stew thing, you don't want that.

And, to be honest, I didn't want to wait that long to see you.

So I've made you my speciality instead.

Beans on toast?

Yeah, baked beans on toast.

What, is that not good enough for an ambassador's daughter, or...?

More than good enough.

If you like it that much,

why don't we put it on the menu for the president's lunch?

My dad would have a heart attack.

Come on, he'd love it.

I doubt it.

Why, who's coming to this thing?

Oh, just some people my dad thinks are important.

-And are they?

-Some. It starts off slow,

but usually it's fun by the time the tequila starts flowing.

Oh, tequila, sounds awesome. So, um, how do I get an invite?

My dad does them personally.

What, he's got some kind of secret list somewhere?

Kind of. He does it all on his laptop.

-Right.

-Anyway, you'll be working!

I could sneak up. Be fine.

I wish you would.

Just so I don't have to talk to those ridiculous people who

think they can please my dad by being nice to me.

Oh, being nice to you! That is a killer.

Yes, it is! You know, even with boyfriends,

I just get the feeling that they were put up to it by their parents.

You know, people can be so...crap.

Yeah, they can.

That's why you are special.

What, that I'm not nice to you?

No. That you're just being yourself.

I mean, when we first met, you didn't know who I was.

Just a girl with a dog.

-Well, without a dog, actually.

-I'm being serious.

It means a lot to me. You know, to be with someone who doesn't

have to lie to me.

For someone to just like me, for me.

-CAMERAS CLICK

-And so I am forced to stand here,

under the protection of the Colombian government,

denied the freedom to step back down there onto British soil

for fear of being arrested for a crime I did not commit.

Bastard. He's lying through his teeth.

'A freedom denied by prejudicial press reporting...'

-He's unbelievable.

-'..that has rendered the possibility...'

-You were right about the ego. He's loving the attention.

-'..of a fair trial completely impossible.

'I shall stay here for as long as it takes to clear my good name.'

'No, Mr President, I did not sanction it.'

-Yes, sir, as quickly as I ca...

-LINE GOES DEAD

Well, that went rather well. Ought to ruffle a few feathers.

Have you lost your mind?

Oh, don't get your knickers in a twist, Luis.

It's the first step on the long road back.

This is an embassy!

-That is rather the point, isn't it?

-You cannot stay here.

What, just cos I gave one stupid press conference?

No, because you are embarrassing me and my president.

Luis.

"Qui tacet consentit."

Remember?

I was silent and so were you.

Our oath.

We were students.

So it meant nothing, what I did for you back then? Is that it?

-No!

-What then?

-'I...'

-'What?!'

You bullied me then.

And you're bullying me now!

So, what, you're just going to feed me to the wolves

with no chance of a fair trial?

If you are innocent, as you say you are,

then you've got nothing to fear.

You are innocent, aren't you, Phillip?

Answer me!

No-one was supposed to...

..die.

What kind of a defence is that?

That's it, we've got to get him.

'Luis? Luis!'

Qui tacet consentit.

What if I could get you out of the country? To Colombia?

How?

There is a diplomatic plane leaving at four o'clock tomorrow,

during the president's lunch. I can get you to the airfield in my car.

And...they wouldn't be able to touch me?

No. It's classified as diplomatic territory.

It would be just the same as if you were still here.

No, no, this isn't part of the plan.

No.

'No. I was thinking I could turn this round.'

Relax, we're back on track.

'Buy me some more time.'

If he was on the road, it would be easier.

Are we ready?

As we'll ever be.

OK, Charlie, they've left the room.

CCTV is disabled...three, two...

..one.

Find out what's going on, I'll do a sweep.

'You need to get on that guest list, Charlie.'

DOOR CREAKS

DOOR CLOSES

Charlie!

What are you doing up here?

Oh...

..I was looking for you.

-Aren't you supposed to be working?

-No, no, I've got a break.

Come on.

OK, the van will be in the service area.

Charlie gets the trolley to the library, brings Granger to the van.

Still worried?

It's this catering truck, we're leaving too much to chance.

We're counting on them not opening all the catering trollies,

yet no two vehicle searches have been the same.

They've opened the back doors, but only to look inside. Why do it any different?

I'm not saying the odds aren't in our favour I'm just saying...

-there's no guarantee.

-It's all we've got.

Like you said, we've got two choices,

either he leaves of his own free will or we drag him out.

I say we go.

You shall go to the ball, Cinderella.

-Very good.

-Lovely work, Buttons.

One, two.

There. You'll do. Good!

Right, let's run it again. Jess?

I shall use my amazing powers of seduction

to lure Granger into the library.

Where I'll be waiting with something to put him to sleep.

-Charlie.

-I'm going to grab an empty catering trolley from the kitchen,

head upstairs through the ballroom and take it to the library.

You need to be there by 2.45,

before the guards do their scheduled sweep at three.

-We bundle Granger into the catering trolley.

-I wheel him out,

head to the lifts, get back down to the kitchen.

Good, let's do it.

Right.

Er, I've got my tux on stand-by, so?

Sorry, Cinders, you're staying here.

We're going to need that CCTV out again

-otherwise security will rumble us.

-Fine.

-You'll miss me.

-Let's go.

You know his time's nearly up?

This is going to be his last job.

Oh, we should do something. I'll bake a cake.

-Really?

-All right, I'll buy a cake.

Let's just concentrate on what we're doing. We can worry about TomTom later.

-You set?

-Yeah, yeah.

Problem?

It's just Vanessa.

She's a nice girl, you know.

Uh-oh. Bambi's in love.

No. I... I just don't think I should be lying to her, that's all.

Force yourself.

Can I have your invites, please?

And your ID?

Can I have everyone here together?

Sir, where is Phillip Granger?

Thanks very much. Thank you.

Can I see your invites, please? Thank you.

Some ID, please?

Thank you.

-Thank you very much. Thank you.

-Gracias.

DETECTOR BEEPS

Yes, thank you.

Round that way.

-OK, you are allowed to go through.

-Thank you.

Enjoy your evening.

SHE SINGS IN SPANISH

Hello. Hello, nice to meet you.

Hello, nice to see you.

Hello, how are you?

Hello.

Ah, look at that.

Mmm, very good champagne.

Perhaps it would have better for you to stay in your quarters.

Oh, will you stop whinging.

Hello.

I'm Phillip Granger. But I think you know that already, eh?

Look at him, the smug bastard.

At least he's here, that's something.

There's police outside, maybe we should grab him by the scruff of the neck,

drop him off the balcony and let them arrest what's left.

Hmm, yeah.

Or we could just stick to the plan.

Oh, you're up.

Champagne, please.

Thank you.

You have to hand it to Luis,

he certainly knows how to throw a party.

-You're a regular at these things, are you?

-Oh, yes.

Jessica Smythe.

Phillip...

Granger.

Of course. You're the talk of the town.

I think it's disgraceful...

the way the press have treated you.

What happened to "innocent till proven guilty"?

JACK: 'That's Jess on target. Charlie, It's trolley time.'

Wow. You look amazing.

Why thank you, sweet prince.

But shouldn't you be upstairs though?

No, I'd rather be down here with you.

Well, actually, that's not strictly true.

I'd rather be in my room with you.

Hmm, no, I have to take this trolley upstairs.

OK.

Meet me in my room in ten minutes.

No, no, I can't.

The trolley, sorry.

Don't be such a baby, just dump it somewhere, no-one will know.

You won't regret it.

Vanessa, I...

-Ten minutes!

-OK.

JACK: 'Charlie, you've got to get that trolley upstairs by 2.45.

'You need to move.'

It's so typical of this country

to try and knock those in power off their perches.

You know it's terribly refreshing to find someone so open minded.

Well, I find if one opens one's mind,

the rest follows.

Hmm.

How we getting on with that CCTV, TomTom?

-Er, yeah, slight problem.

-What kind of problem?

Looks like they've ramped up their security protocols

since my last little intervention.

-I'm having trouble getting in.

-Can you do it or not?

Yeah, of course I can do it!

I'm just going to need a bit more time.

'How much time?'

10...15 minutes?

Why don't we take this somewhere more private?

That'll be too late.

I'll have to try and do something this end.

Come on.

You know Luis keeps an excellent brandy in the library.

So I've heard.

HE MOUTHS

BAND STARTS TO PLAY

But I thought we were going to go to the um...

I don't dance.

..with you tonight.

-TOMTOM:

-'OK, the guards' room is the third door on your right.

'There's one guard in there.'

Er, TV Licensing. We've come to disconnect you.

Right, we've got about ten minutes before he wakes up,

-how are we getting on?

-'Guards do their rounds in seven minutes.'

Come on, let's go and get that drink.

-Luis, Luis!

-Yes?

-How nice to see you.

-It's lovely to see you.

-Long time no see.

I assume things are all well at the office, yes?

-This brandy had better be worth it.

-Oh, it is.

Make mine a double.

I'm terribly sorry old chap, could you may yourself scarce?

I'm on a bit of a promise.

That's funny, so am I.

You see, I promised somebody that I'd get you

out of here and banged up where you belong.

Who the hell are you?

We're your ticket out of here.

Your carriage awaits.

Whoever you are, you can't be here. This is foreign soil.

There are ramifications. Serious ramifications.

This is a violation of diplomatic territory.

Ah, you can write a letter of complaint from prison then.

You're not going to get away with this.

I have friends in very high places.

People who can make your life very uncomfortable.

And I know some horrible bastards I might just send to visit you

in the nick and trust me, they'll really spoil your day.

Get out of my way.

Jess.

Let's go!

Venga, venga, venga, amigos, amigos.

Una copa, por favor...

Wait.

-What are you doing up here?

-Delivering food, sir.

You should not be here at this time.

All the food should have been served by now.

No, I know but it's, er, total chaos downstairs.

-Don't worry, we're back on track now.

-Charlie!

-Where have you been?

-Sorry, I got held up.

Thank you, David.

Yes, Miss Velasquez.

Look, I really need to get this food downstairs.

OK, I'll come with you.

Then maybe we can go in my room.

No. I've really got to get on, Vanessa.

-What's wrong?

-Look I've got to get this trolley downstairs, now!

-Charlie, I...

-Vanessa, you need to go!

Now.

Not till you tell me what's going on.

SIRENS BLARE

They're on to us. Time to go, Charlie.

-But...

-Let's go.

-Leave Granger!

-I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry.

David! Over here!

This way.

Come on, Charlie!

They must have been special forces, MI5.

How the hell did they get in? You were supposed to protect me!

You need to calm down, Phillip. You're safe now.

Safe? I'm not safe, you moron!

They got in here once, they can get in again!

-What time is it?

-Just after three.

-Well, can I still catch your plane?

-If you hurry.

-You're sure?

-Of course I'm bloody well sure!

Have my car ready.

They didn't use the front entrance,

they must be heading for the kitchen.

Shut the gates!

Excuse me?

Excuse me!?

Airporto!

The airport!

Excuse...

Excuse me, the airport's that way.

Por favor!

Airporto!

Muppet!

-Oh, dear, he doesn't look very happy.

-No.

You can't do this!

I can do whatever I want, "old chap".

We only get one shot at this.

You'll think of something.

All vehicles are checked coming in and going out,

except the Ambassador's car.

There is a diplomatic plane leaving at four o'clock tomorrow,

during the President's lunch.

If he was on the road, it might be easier.

Added to that, there are panic buttons on every floor.

I'm not saying the odds aren't in our favour I'm just,

there's no guarantees.

Well, it's all we've got. Like you said we've got two choices,

either he leaves of his own free will or we drag him out.

Wait.

That's it!

What is?

We had it all along.

The only way to guarantee he leaves that Embassy

is if he does it of his own free will.

-And how do we do that?

-By scaring the living daylights out of him.

-Same question. How?

-By getting caught.

-What's wrong?

-Nothing's wrong.

I've really got to get this trolley...

We do everything we're planning, right up to the last minute when we get in the lift.

How much did you give him?

Don't worry, he'll have come round by now.

SIRENS BLARE

They're on to us. Time to go, Charlie.

-But...

-Right now. Let's go.

Can I still get your plane?

If you hurry.

You're sure?

Of course I'm bloody well sure!

Yes!

OK, he went for it.

Bloody genius!

Hello, mate.

Don't suppose I could borrow your car?

Shut the gate!

GUNSHOT

Get out of the car.

I don't think so, actually.

This car is still classed as diplomatic territory.

And whilst I'm in it, you can't touch me.

Do you know what, he's got a point.

Could cause a diplomatic incident.

Questions could be asked in the House.

Hmm, I'll take the risk.

Ah! Ah! Ah!

Oh, it's not nice that, is it?

All right! All right!

Welcome back to Great Britain, Mr Granger.

We trust you'll have a pleasant stay

at Her Majesty's pleasure.

Have you any idea who I am, you cretin?

Jack, we've called upstairs.

We need to go.

Do you want to talk about who people are?

I tell you what, I'll do you a deal.

You tell me the name of just one of the people

who died in that fire and I'll let you go.

Hmm?

Now we both know who you are.

Ha!

Of course the official line is that he gave in to public pressure

and surrendered himself to the police.

It does seem to save face on all sides.

Yes, yes, it does.

Thank you very much.

All good?

It seems Mr Granger is haemorrhaging friends by the second.

Good work, Jack.

Ah, it was a team effort.

As always.

They're a good bunch, aren't they?

Yeah, they're all right.

How's the new lad working out?

-Charlie? Yeah, he's getting there.

-That's good.

So that just leaves the small matter of Mr Tomkins'

continued employment with you.

TomTom, yeah?

Well, he's served his dues. He's free to go.

-Of course.

-Unless you want to keep him?

On what grounds?

I'm sure you'll think of something.

-Everything all right?

-All good.

-You want to go and talk to her?

-No.

Right, who's for pizza?

Actually, TomTom, I could do with a word.

So you know that your community service is finished?

MUSIC DROWNS SPEECH

It's up to you.

What?

Jack?

-BOTH:

-Oi!

We find the case proven.

We do, of course, offer our full and unreserved apologies.

So, unless any new information comes to light,

the investigation into Mr and Mrs Walker should now be closed.

To the justice system.

The justice system.

Honest, hardworking people donated their money and you stole it.

So you want us to find this new evidence. How?

Find the money.

If he says it's extreme, it's extreme.

-Is it extreme?

-It's extreme.

Wait, please, just tell me what you want to do.

You're going to talk to her wife.

You're going to tell her you don't want to die.

I think we've underestimated her.

They haven't got you beat, have they, Jack?

You won't get away with this!

I fought against a lot of people to set up your team -

very important people who weren't convinced

it was possible to run an operation like this.

Well, congratulations, Jack...

..you've just proved them right.

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